Goes Without Saying - UNDER THE INFLUENCE: our 10k listener party

Episode Date: July 11, 2020

you asked for a drunk episode, so here it is! in this special bonus episode we (sephy & wing) are getting drunk and answering your questions. it's the official 10k party so go and grab yourself a bottle of wine before you press play. speak your mind on our instagram! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Okay, ready? This is gonna be a good one. Hello and welcome to the drunk episode. This is Under the Influence because we are officially micro-influencers at 10k! Yay! I'm so happy you were introducing this because I'm I think a little bit further along when it comes to being drunk than you Erin Erin is drink it she's I don't know she's just a fast drinker I think I'm I think I'm it just hits me right away literally one sip and I'm I'm under she's ready to go she's under the influence what a great name that is by the way guys it's a pun it's a pun we try and go for a kind of pun theme i'm only halfway through sort of my first drink so i'm not drunk but it will hit it as we said uh we were

just saying that they hit me like a ton of bricks i get hit with it late and then it will be a stressful situation i can't wait well first of all we should say thanks thank you so much everyone um but maybe i can't say it because i think i might cry why don't you say thank you do a heartfelt thank you speech okay my heartfelt thank you genuinely is actually quite frustrating because i don't have the vocab that i need to perfectly articulate how how thankful i am overwhelmed honestly overwhelmed we're really really grateful and we genuinely talk about you all the time like if you've been dming us like here and there we talk about you like we're like oh my god did you see blah blah blah she's amazing she's so beautiful

we genuinely are obsessed so we're so happy to have 10 000 of you it's like a huge audience now i'm so just so pleased with it all like it's so great i'm thrilled i'm thrilled to be honest we're buzzed and you guys have asked us some amazing questions so yeah some hilarious questions go and get your drinks right now if you haven't i hope you're prepped but go and get a drink right now and drink along with us so we don't seem so crazy feel free to pause and and and come back to us when you're ready so this is your moment now pause and now we come back hello okay welcome back hello okay i hate it when um sort of youtube is like go get a cup of tea and enjoy the video it's like oh i love that i love it when they say that why do you hate it i'm not fucking going to make your milk and sugar like i'm gonna go boil a kettle well i'm not going to do it but i like being told to

do it it's almost like they're saying to me go on then tuck yourself up in bed and i'll rub your feet even though that would be hell on earth for me it sounds a bit like they're telling me you know yeah i get it pamper yeah it's kind of a bit of a pamperous vibe i'm kind of like don't you dare tell me what to do. Don't tell me what to do. Kind of Drake and Josh, have a nice day. Don't tell me what to do. I'm like, you had your chance.

You blew it. Bye. Next video. I paused and I'm not coming back. Yeah. But do genuinely. Now we've all got our alcohol. We're going to drink together.

So everyone just drink for three seconds now. Okay. Hang on. Done. So first of all, what are you drinking way okay done i'm drinking um imagine i was like i'm drinking tea sorry like i told you not i've been acting oh i am quite drunk by the way just for context we're recording this at 11 in the morning yeah that's the crucial context i don't know if we were going to publicize that but

i'm coming out with it this is the morning time well we realized that our schedules kind of didn't overlap we've got too much to do later in the day we've got to send off these interview questions later oh it's a whole mess we've been massively over but we've just we had to record this at 11 in the morning so right now it's 11 36 we've been already drinking bath now but for you, it's about 8pm, 9pm say. Yeah, we'll be listening at the listening party. But I mean, we'll all be listening together. But right now for us, it's 11 in the morning. And we've got a lot of stuff to do today. I hope future me has recovered nicely from this.

I think future me didn't do that well. Also in quarantine, I haven't drunk literally a sip. No. So I'm gonna be hungover I was just saying the one time I drank well not even the one time but the most I've drunk was with you that time where we were on a zoom

and you and I were the only ones drinking which is fucking classic we were like hi guys so we've got our alcohol everyone's like we're not drinking

what are you guys drinking everyone's like nothing we're like okay oops we misjudged the vibe didn't read the room okay but you guys drinking? Everyone's like, nothing. We're like, okay, oops, we misjudged the vibe. Didn't read the room, okay. But you guys have sent us some amazing,

oh yeah, what are you drinking? That was the thing. Okay, yeah, so I am actually just drinking a bit of wine. I was going to do a whole nice thing. It was a bit of a spritzer. I had a little bit of, I always put ice cubes. I mean, you know, I put ice cubes in everything because it was your, do you want to go into your dream?

My dream is basically to have one of those fridges that you get. You press the button and the ice comes out. That just seems like the height of luxury. This morning here I am again cracking the ice tray out. Like getting this... It couldn't be me. Couldn't be stiffer as well. Those boards, it hurts your hands.

Like I hate them. So filling it up again. I actually didn't fit. Me and my brother are also having a bit of a war at the moment. An ice war. Where it's kind of like... Who's filling it up more? That sort't fit me and my brother also having a bit of a war at the moment an ice war where it's kind of like who's filling it up more that sort of thing well he doesn't he empties it out leaves two ice cubes in there and puts it back in it's like oh just fucking fill it up but really you need about six ice cubes oh i need a whole tray that's about 11 ice cubes i don't know what would be an odd number so anyway i go downstairs in the morning every morning and i fill up my glass of wine and i put

in some ice from my fridge it's it's the true luxurious life it really is it's like decadent yeah it's it's almost what it's just it's one of those oh fuck i really had one because i can't speak right give me a minute give me a minute. Why am I talking about the ice machine? Give me a minute. Yeah, I'm drinking wine. What about you? Well, I'm a slow drinker, but I'm drinking gin and tonic. I've got some Waitrose Distilled London Dry Gin. That sounds good.

And some basic fucking tonic that I found in the house. And I was like, I will have that for 11 in the morning. So that's what I'm drinking. My mum was don't drink gin it's a it's a depressant and I was like all alcohols I was like all alcohol is a depressant what like gin specifically in the morning is a depressant like what are you talking about it's like no it's just depressing that we're sat on facetime recording a podcast at 11 with a glass of a glass of alcohol. Yeah, that's the depressing bit. That's what's depressing. Don't worry, the gin won't do anything.

This is the depressing bit. The damage is done. Should we get into some keys? Yeah, definitely. We've had a lot. I was just about to ask you what you were drinking, but you've already told us. Oh my God, pull yourself together. Stop right now.

Should I take a bit of a break? I did bring you some water, so i'll bring some water in we can't be just flush out the palette we can't be this chaotic from the beginning i really hope you guys are drinking if you're not if you're just on a little dog walk right now i'm pissed okay so there's one question that i love okay which is take it away let me find it take it away ernie if you could be any character from shrek which would you be do you have an answer yeah i thought about it long and hard okay let me think about it long and hard for a second because not who's the prettiest not just a hoya i'll be fiona which one would you be in shrek one

i'm saying the whole shrek universe mine only comes in in shrek 2 so i'm saying the shrek universe oh it was only comes in shrek 2 so who is it is it prince charming is it a fairy godmother it's puss in boots oh my god classic i literally was thinking i was thinking maybe i would be you know the wolf that wears the grandma the red riding hood wolf that wears the grandma's like little bonnet yeah i think he has quite um a pleasant life a peaceful life he just lies in that bed and he's like just in everyone's bed he's reading his little magazines i think yeah he's got quite a good life, I think. Yeah. And I was thinking maybe I'd be the wolf. And then I was thinking, no, no, no.

I'd be the top scammer of the world. I'd be puss in boots. Little cute face holding the hat. Used to be my family computer wallpaper. Puss in boots holding the hat. So iconic. So iconic. I remember thinking I couldn't think of a cuter thing than that.

Like as a child, I was like, there's nothing cuter than that. It's true though. I don't know how they did that yeah it's so crazy it's like i remember being blown away by that like blown away yeah truly blown away yeah i wonder what they did it's kind of brainwashing it's kind of pepper pig it's like what did you do like you genetically engineered it to be so so cute to be so cute so cute and now i look at it and think i've seen cuter so basically you just want to be cute no no no no that's the that's his trick though it's manipulation oh he's a little trickster i'd want to be puss in boots no no then he like slices you slices and dices you he's crazy yeah i'd be him and he's like top monetizer he's like um a big capitalist

monetizer he's like um a big capitalist i'd be him okay yeah he's kind of ceo i'd be him yeah of kind of what is he like a little assassin he's like an assassin yeah kind of zoro right he does a little yeah because he's paid to kill shrek by the dad dad yeah toad man because of the fucking fairy godmother yeah and i would internalize toxic masculinity yeah so i'd be puss in boots i'd be purse who would you be maybe i would be can you just let me think for a sec sorry yeah just think of shrek you know them right you've seen them i kind of feel like i've got 10 000 eyes on me who would you be who would you be right let me think the problem is no one in shrek really has like the easy life that i would like person boost us but he's taken sorry i don't really want to go around killing people yeah he doesn't know he's an assassin you could be um you could be f Well, that's what I was kind of thinking. If you're a boy. Exactly.

Also, she has quite a bad, like, inner conflict of like, I've got this shameful thing at night. Like, I don't want people to see. Yeah, but then she gets over it, doesn't she? Um, yeah, she does. But you have to live your first, like, what, 20 years of you like, my prince, my prince is coming. Oh, I'm kind of thinking I become them now.

And it's kind of where we left, where we left them. No, you have their journey oh so you go from fucking being born so you're gonna be a little fucking cat in the litter coming out of a cat vagina yes who would you be who would you be who's like oh my god what you just want to snap in and jump in you they've done all the work and you snap into the end of the story yeah i thought that was what it was okay it's their journey god now i'm really gonna have to think about it replay all three films and think whose journey would you want maybe i would be the fairy godmother because i like a bit of a sing song yeah i need a hero yeah and kind of is that what she sings no that's not what she sings is it yeah yeah yeah it's at the end it is is it she does okay yeah but she also sings um she gets all of the things out when she starts crying oh my god yeah and she

gets sorry i really can't fucking talk it's a shame we're doing a podcast she gets all of the fucking wardrobes out and makes them sing and she's like something something tight little tush or something but i don't have the melody i have that tiny little touch and no melody but what is it that's when she's going when shrek's looking around yeah but it's not that yeah there's a little dog and then it's like mrs fiona charming mrs fiona charming mrs fiona charming and he goes i need some sleep yeah go on like that i used to love that song it's by the eels if anyone's interested any eels fat how does that song go well you by the Eels. I think it's interesting. I used to love it. Any Eels fan? How does that song go?

You want to know what the Fairy Godmother song is? Yeah, literally. I think it's called Fairy Godmother song. I don't know. It says, it does say tight little tush or something though. It's about. It does, doesn't it? It's like a wardrobe and or something and a lovely little dress. Yeah, that's why I think I'm getting it up.

You made that up. And a tight little dress. It's me singing. A lovely little frog. Fairy God. Oh, I can't it up. Made that up. And a dyed little dress. It's me singing. A lovely little frog. Very good. Oh, I can't type even. You need to stop because we've got a whole hour of this. Very good.

Mother song. We can't play this. It's probably copyrighted by... No, not going to play it, but I'll feed back. Oh, look, Fiona's fumed. Oh, the bubbles. She's crying. Oh, yeah.

Happiness is only a teardrop away. I've got what every princess needs happily oh that was beautiful is that gonna go in i want to see do what everyone at this point god knows what i'm gonna say oh wait hang on let me listen she's nodding here we go sorry sorry cut that what is happening hang on oh god she's crying oh no there's tears going down her face oh god we're not even fucking 15 minutes in this can't be happening.

She's fully crying. Her makeup's down her face. I'm crying my eyes out right now. At the fucking fairy godmother song. Fuck. Oh my god. She's bereaved. I don't know what's going on.

I'm in bits. She's actually in bits. So she's going to be the fairy godmother. God, I never thought I'd be the one structuring the podcast. Oh, fuck. We know it's chaos. Right, hang on. Sorry, sorry.

Right, I'm back, I'm back, I'm back. I mean, I'm fully crying my eyes out. I don't really know why, though. I think it's just so funny. Nothing happens. Just kind of the thought of me singing the fairy godmother song. Listen, I'm not going to sing it back to you. I know I went and looked for it and found it and was going to tell you how the melody goes,

but you can just Google it. I've had a little bit of a bathroom break. I've given myself a little bit of a pep talk so you're okay um okay so next question this is one that was we were a bit confused by this one so I think it's good to kind of just go in and think what what was intended by this question so someone said when was the last time you two kissed brackets sorry jack and then some like kissing emojis and i mean we were trying to work out was that does that i've read this to jack last night he was like well when was it then when did you kiss i was like we never kissed never in our lives we solemnly swear although we do have a bit of a funny story do we have a funny story i'm like what happened i was like i don't think that was me. I know, it sounds like I'm alluding to something else,

but it's actually something so dry. When we first started Hire, we were like an anonymous page. Like we hadn't posted a pic of us, whatever. Like no one knew who it was. We were just posting random, like, he doesn't like you. Like you need to set boundaries, kind of random, like little fucking graphics.

Like shout out if you're from those days. Not all that dissimilar to what we're doing now so then we were like right we need to get a picture of us on the thing so they know who we are like we can build you know like they know that it's us and we knew like in some way that we wanted to start a podcast too so it's kind of like you can't have like an anonymous voice starting a podcast unless it's literally anonymous because i would 100 listen yeah that's the one case where you can be anonymous if you are anonymous um then you have an audience if you're literally the anonymous um so we had just been to brighton pride um we were living in brighton at the time we just we were still at uni at the time we had the time of our lives by the way would highly recommend

brighton pride um or any pride obs i would highly recommend brighton we've had some listeners from brighton and quite a few i mean i hope you're living the time of your life because oh it's so stunning there honestly the happiest place on earth so we had got some what at the time were our best pictures together and they weren't that good and we were like right we're gonna put no looking back they're horrific but most of our pictures are to be honest um you may have noticed what we cycled the same two pictures we just it's often the thing it's difficult trying to get a picture of two people that both like the picture of themselves that's happy to go on the their joint instagram page it's like oh god like like think of how hard it is just to get a picture of yourself then add a whole other person that makes like oh god we're never gonna like be compatible anyway so we had this good pick from pride i was wearing this stunning

jacket yeah so stunning do you remember my little rainbow like tiered oh it was so great like this fluffy little thing tight little tush um we put it up with a big old like rainbow stuff like pride woohoo like this is us as well like bringing our anonymity on here for the first time like this is us blah blah like celebration time of our lives and everyone came back to us like oh my god like congratulations on coming out like what a beautiful couple we're just fucking done basically yeah i don't know how we didn't see that coming misread the vibe i think we were fucking stupid i was actually editing together a fucking rainbow fucking graphic it's like what were you thinking was gonna happen and we kind of wrote like we're coming out on the page like we're coming out like it's like why are we so dumb like we actually

posted a picture and then we were like why does everything work out but when it's like because it's literally a picture of us at pride like ha ha ha like here we are we're not we're not holding back kind of snuggling kind of snuggled snuggled in i'm kind of nuzzled into you and it's like oh well that and what was it someone said kind of two beautiful like lgbt like queens or something which sephie is yeah but i didn't mean to drag you into it because it's just it was just basically the world's biggest miscommunication of just like no no that's not what you meant though meanwhile i'm like jack can you like can you like hypercess can you support please he's like liking all the pictures like what is this like honestly huh you've just come out on fucking instagram

yeah that is so crazy we've never kissed we've never kissed i'll kiss you through the phone i won't do it back it's not my style i wish kiss you through the phone was coming out now you know that song kiss you through the phone yeah. I wish Kiss You Through the Phone was coming out now. You know that song, Kiss You Through the Phone? Yeah, I do know it. Kiss Me Through the Phone. Why do you wish that was coming out now? Why would you wish that was coming out now? Soulja Boy.

Did you know the dance? No, but why do you want that now? Soulja Boy. Because it's like Kiss Me Through the Phone. People weren't seeing each other. Kiss Me Through the Phone. Oh, because of quarantine. It was way before its time, right?

I was never a fan, if I'm honest. If I'm completely honest, I was never a fan. So I have no feelings about when they decided to release that song. Do you know who sings it? You just said Soulja Boy, so I'm thinking it's Soulja Boy's thing as you just said that. Oh, damn. It was because you said when they released that song, and I was like, you definitely don't know i'm like when look

fly roost because you be the phone so someone asked about our skincare routines i don't know shit about they said skincare routine i don't know shit about what actually gets smooth what gets what i can't okay here we go this is good this is what i like to see i don't know shit about what actually gets it gets skin smooth god alliteration um as a baby's butt cheek god they're loving the alliteration skin smooth as a baby's butt cheek this is an english lesson now you know what gets skin as smooth as a baby's butt cheek the fact that they're a baby your hormones control oh wow here we go look she still has it in her to go on a feminist rant here we go 90 your hormones

control like 90 of what your skin looks like when your skin is getting fucked up you are gonna struggle to find something to treat it topically wow i didn't see this coming i thought you were just gonna say like moisturizer more often than not we're spending bags and bags of our hard-earned cash yeah on fucking expensive skin coverage it's not going to do anything for you your your breakouts are hormonal your dryness is hormonal most things in your life like your skin um are attributed back to your hormones so i think the biggest damage we've done is teach women that they can spend 100 quid on a face cream and it will make their skin be like a baby the baby skin is like a baby because it came it was made like fucking two weeks ago yeah also a baby's butt cheek it's got shit on it so you don't want

that yeah it stinks like shit have you ever done an oil cleanse though just to just to indulge the patriarchy for a second i have in my life because i think if you want smooth skin oh okay we'll just completely contradict everything i've just said don't worry also an oil cleanse isn't gonna do shit if you don't they work for my skin because i already have clear baby butt cheeks yeah but a fucking oil cleanse i've got so into it get some like not coconut oil but like a kind of um i use jojoba oil so stunning used an amazon voucher from my granny to buy some jojoba oil amazon jeff bezos jeff bezos was bitch over here loving it put that over your face massage that in for literally like

10 minutes you can just like feel your skin like doing some kind of like amazing thing regenerating itself doctor who style then get a hot flannel boiling hot put that over your face just kind of let like kind of steam your face out kind of at home facial it's a full facial and it's so stunning it doesn't like clear your skin but it makes it very very smooth it doesn't clear your skin but it's what i do with my already clear skin guys if you want clear skin if you did want to spend money but i would actually say regardless of clearing your skin or whatever just do it for fun it's so nice just like hot flannel on the face oh yeah or here's a top tip if you've just cooked some pasta when you put it in the colander steam

comes up just put your face over the colander and i'm not joking with no makeup on with no makeup on it's actually a facial with a clean face and then also you'll probably you'll have to wash your face after which you won't do but anyway why do you have to wash your face after because you've just boiled a bowl of pasta and all the starch has gone into that water and now you're gonna release the starch and all of the bacteria from that water up into your skin that's what i like though pasta face i'm a bit of a long-lived skincare expert i have my roots in skincare expertise you do a bit i'm in the wrong um i'm in the wrong fucking career the marketing against skincare is is so ridiculous and everyone knows it also it's rooted in wanting

women to to be pre-pubescent and not age completely so it's fucked literally not age from like kind of the first month of your life dear oh dear okay wait should i should i find one yeah yeah you find one okay right i have a task don't fuck it up okay erin oh i liked this one i love this person because they always support us that sounded like so sincere i love this person i will find you i will give you a pedicure i will run you a bath i will cook you breakfast they said how do you two manage your disagreements so well when there are any i think we do manage our disagreements so well pretty much everything you say i disagree you but you come to me with an idea and i'm like no no definitely not well i think here's the thing

that we have quite an interesting dynamic in that i am very kind of impatient with ideas like if there's a new idea of like we should do this i'm like well let's do it now let's absolutely do it right now and you kind of like the long game of like no let's think through every step and i think we managed to get a bit of a balance in that it's like we still do the idea but that it definitely takes us like we think it through we need to do it so i often come to erin with oh my god i've seen this person do this we have to do it we simply must do it i've already got the account name and i've already got the pictures i think we should do it now we don't want to miss our job and erin's like whoa whoa whoa let's not do it hold your horses yeah hold your horses and i think it works but i don't think we've ever had any actual disagreements

no we don't really disagree well i feel like we have two um well we have two modes we communicate all the time and half of it as is as friends and half of it is as like business partners it's quite confusing we've got two different channels that we talk but i think we manage i think we manage the disagreements the same in both yeah we're just long old combos which is clearly what we're good at and like go on and on and on and make sure that everything has been but i always think it's because i i would just care more about our friendship than i ever would about proving a point or making sure that i got my own way with us do you know what i mean and i think but also we don't really argue we don't really have any disagreements in our in our friendship we don't really have any disagreements do we i'm actually trying to think

have we had like a disagreement but the only one where we had it was kind of a moment it wasn't even a disagreement but kind of a moment of like what's happening was um when we were in brighton we had hire this is a business argument yeah um and we were like right we're gonna change the name we're gonna change the name i remember you went to the shops or something because we're like we're gonna change the name we're gonna change them right pause it pause it pause it well we were changing the name we were trying to find the right name yeah basically we were trying to find the perfect name and erin was like you had to go to co-op and i was like go just go just just get out of my side just go and we'll talk about it later um and i

wasn't on my own i wasn't kicked out of my own house and then we came back and we're like right okay let's let's think of the name let's think about it but it wasn't an argument it was just as in we both definitely wanted to go the same way but we were kind of just like how do we i don't even know what that was it was kind of a moment of insanity i think it was the first time that we were both stressed out together yeah we're both stressed it was the first time that we both had stakes in something that we both cared about it was kind of like a it was kind of like parents like having to worry about their kid for the first time you know what are they going to be circumcised like that kind of thing like it was like an actual big issue yeah okay wait but how

do we how do we deal with disagreements well i think we're just good communicators i i think the biggest thing in friendship is communication because without communication you cannot be authentic and i always think communication communication communication but it's so true i've seen how quickly if you forget to communicate things just implode so you need need need to communicate at all points so as long as you're talking about your worries and even if it's kind of nothing yeah because i'll often say to you like by the way when we spoke about that the other day did you think that i was saying x y and z because i actually just wanted to make sure that i was

saying a b and c and i don't want it to i don't i hope i didn't say it wrong and you're like no no no not at all but just the fact that we've acknowledged it it allows for nothing to go unsaid that could later brew like some form of like resentment or something definitely and in my relationships i like to make sure that we're on a team and i think when you're communicating really really thoroughly there's no room for you to feel like they don't have your back and they're kind of they'd throw you under the bus if they had to that sort of thing like there's kind of no space where i think you would kind of do something to impress somebody else and like get me like do you know what i mean like kind of sack me off or and it's the same with jack and any relationship that's important to me it's like we have to be matching the energy yeah very much on the same page yeah i completely agree so i'd

say that is one of the things communication is everything if you're failing to communicate then you're i was gonna do some kind of pun you're communicating to fail like it doesn't make any sense but yeah fail to prepare yeah if you fail to prepare prepare to fail but i think you can also turn turn relationships into something more open like i've had relationships where i know that they've probably thought things about me and i've got a bit annoyed with them and not said anything and it's like well i actually really would like to bring you closer to me and like strengthen our relationship and so next time anything comes up i'll say something really really vulnerable and you'll love it i mean and you'll and you'll eat it up like fucking candy from your butt cheeks soft butt cheek baby crumble yeah

off the little tush um someone says love you girls oh love you girls oh this one's good is it absurd to have a life plan okay go that's interesting yeah it's not absurd but it's misguided oh okay take it away i've dropped my headphone again i sat back like i'd said something really profound and kind of folded my arms and my headphone dropped the mic not smooth um i think it's not a good um idea as in it's prepare fail to plan plan to fail same old saying yeah but you're kind of saying plan to plan plan to fail i'm kind of saying plan to plan and plan that your plan of a plan fails yeah doesn't make any sense i think i don't think

it's absurd to have a plan but i just think it's important that when you're having your plan just know that your plan won't be kind of a linear plan flan flan eat a flan and make a plan and do what can can right don't please don't because I need you

to be on my way like we need to be a team and I'm way more drunk than you you're not I just said and do the can can

you're not what's the other one the um oh my god the macarena yeah but that doesn't rhyme it's useless right just cut that cut that cut that that's a useless thing to say oh my god i would love to know sorry something just came to me please humor me guys and please humor me sephie

in this if any of you did gcse dance at about the same time as me you would have done with aqa this is solely uk people this might be like one person, I would love to know if you did the set dances and there were two of them in my mind. One of them was called Find It and the other one was the one that I did and I just knew it as set dance and I could still fucking do it right now and I would just love to know. I feel like there's a whole fucking kind of national bond of girls my age that know this dance and could probably still do it and got their little a star and dance tick tick tick but no one talks about it so i'd love to know if any of you know the set dance i'm doing it right now yeah i didn't do find it i did the other one

because it was much more like ballet i think i know that do it again do it again so it starts off like this and you put your oh wait hang on cut this you can have to cut the singing but you would know if you did gcse well i've knew people that did gcse and that looks very familiar but then again all dances like that kind of look exactly the same they're all kind of like elbow jab elbow jab roll the body just a classic contemporary dance well i would love to know because in my mind we are sisters um like metaphysically bonded yeah stunning well i was saying is it absurd to have a life plan so sorry i think no it's not absurd but don't be attached to it if you're attached to a life plan by 20 i'll

do this like i was saying in one of the podcasts a few weeks ago like i know someone's like in my 20s i'm going to do that focus on career then in my 30s i'm going to be in a relationship it's like look look look no just no to all of that just absolute big fat no to that do you have a life plan no do you have a plan in life no no plan i have things i want to do okay yeah so maybe it's not so much of a to-do list it's just kind of just some general ideas of things that would be fun i don't i wouldn't want to know how it all works out if you could go to the end of your life now press a button and you see it all work out and you go back and relive it all no that's hell on earth you might as well die at that point i just want to have fun i think you and i are in a hang on what was i saying you and i are in a you and i

don't know where this is going i'm so sorry i was just gonna say please get more drunk look that wasn't i was gonna say i'm a normal level of drunk you're actually like fucked off your face okay so great i am i thought i told you once i'm telling you twice i'm actually not i should drink more yeah i can see you not drinking um what i was gonna say is i think you and i are in we i think we forget how a lot of people function because we're constantly communicating with each other and being like you know go with the flow etc etc just like being our fucking enlightened selves i think that you and i forget that there are people out there who very much are still in a bit of a structure when it comes and they can be forever there's not one way to live up to live your life and it's ours absolutely not but i was watching a youtube

video the other day where she was talking with her boyfriend she was like yeah we kind of want like three or four kids like a girl first and then the boys well that's um and we're probably gonna get married at about 27 and then we'll probably have our kid later on that year it's like do you even know i mean do you even know if you can do that like do you like each other i don't know like also do you know that your life so far has not worked out to plan you can acknowledge that well that's the thing right that right now you're in a position which you didn't predict everyone listening right now you're probably in a position that you didn't predict age 10 you probably thought to be honest you were going to be the new miley cyrus and

lo and behold you're not you probably had a plan i remember writing behind my desk once i was probably about seven it's actually quite crazy that doctor who is appearing twice in the podcast but i wrote i've been watching it so much since since that person said it yeah i don't i haven't told you that because i plan there are certain things that i plan to tell you on the podcast and i never do so then i just sort of keep being secrets from you like now i love but we're excellent communicators but i wrote on a piece of paper um if you are not in doctor who by the age of eight just give up i wrote just give up yeah bloody hell god yeah because they were holding auditions on blue blue peter and i sent mine in and i got my grandma to film it you were such a blue peter kid yeah i loved blue peter i

entered quite a lot of the thing i was a bit of a soldier boy kid no wonder i didn't know what soldier boy was i was like here's one i made earlier i used to love it i got blue peter badge as well oh yeah and didn't you also make up a doctor who monster for blue peter yeah god i can't believe doctors again and it was something like let's see let's test my drunk memory it was something about no wait wait basically doctor blue peter held a competition and it was everyone on blue peter gets to design a monster that's going to be in an episode of doctor who you're to send in a drawing of your monster and i entered and

let's see if you can remember what it was go on okay give me three goes well you're gonna describe three different monsters right now and i have to say yes or no okay did it have anything to do with being fluffy yes or no no no no okay i was kind of banking on that one so i don't really know apparently it wasn't scary i didn't win spoiler alert was it like the cd monster no no but it definitely it had lots of one thing on it and it did yeah that's what i'm thinking it had lots of one thing and its name was that thing oh i got it you we were where were we we were walking along in bank it was along the south bank yes just strolling kissing sorry jack it was on our first date when you told me about the monster you designed for peter okay um oh it's a bit of a random item isn't it it's not

scary it's not scary that's what i remember thinking it's not scary i don't know what came over me to design this and send us in and it was something quite classic that won instead of you wasn't it the one that won it was really good and i remember being quite scared of the episode it was a monster that had loads of different faces of the people that it had eaten on it i remember it ate someone i feel like it was like james corden or something that's clever isn't it and then it said it ate someone and then it said it tastes like chicken and i remember thinking that is the most disgusting thing i've ever heard in my life a little vegetarian child you like couldn't cope i honestly was like why did they just put that on tv that's so disgusting but can't you've got one more go to guess my monster before i tell you oh can you give me a clue do you want to know what

it begins with yeah please its name which is the item that it's covered in it begins with b it's funny because before you said b i was thinking and i'm not gonna use i'm not using one ups this doesn't count but i was gonna say it's not the bra monster no no my six-year-old self would never have said bras that would be sick it's a three-letter word but it's not bra three-letter word are you sure it's not bra i'm gonna tell you okay its name is Bow and it was covered in bows. Oh, for fuck's sake. It's like the least scary thing ever. Yeah, I don't know why I thought that would be a good monster.

It was like a little thing. It had a big bow in its hair. It was covered in bows. Honestly, it's Jojo Siwa. It's kind of you thought you were auditioning for a role. I would have wanted to play. And that's the monster you would like to be. The kind ofuss in boots monster super cute um and i and i sent that into blue peter never heard back um and i also never was a blue never was a doctor who star like i said

just give up if you're not a doctor who star no there's still time no but it was i had a time limit by the time i'm eight i had to be on doctor or or i should give up yeah i mean we're a bit overdue at this point but there is still a chance and then i put that little note behind my wardrobe to find again at eight years old and be like oh my god kind of i manifested it and i found it when i was like 10 when i cleared out my room like fucking hell didn't make it didn't make the dream i just fucking remember something when you said that oh my god i wrote a note i wrote a letter to my i must have been probably about eight and i wrote and i said and i said in four years time and i put do not open until oh my god gosh maybe like 2006 or something like i kind of i put i wrote

on it like do not open i remember my friend came around for a sleepover and she opened it and i was so upset i'd already left it for like two years so what'd you say i just said some shit like who's winning the world cup like that sort of thing but the worst most boring thing you could want to know it was kind of a time capsule and i and i blue tacked it to the inside of my door and i was doing my little soldier boy dance looking at it you're always gonna want to read that it's on the door every day it's a reminder i know that's why i'm quite impressed with myself that i didn't look at it every toilet break i'm getting more and more confused at how drunk i am i just did that thing on the toilet where you kind of you know at parties where you like look at yourself in the mirror and you're like yeah i just had to give myself like pep talk fully i was gonna

sitting there like whoa also i'm wearing a body suit so i really feel like i'm at the pub oh god you're like at a party right now yeah well this is fun what kind of music are you into something we're both really into a song a song that sums up our relationship we had kind of a crazy moment so this is before we went to our event yeah our most recent event which was literally in march so kind of just we so cut it so fine in terms of coronavirus it being cancelled i don't know how lucky we were to have that be like kind of two weeks before but we were in the taxi we'd got ready at my house and we were going we're in the taxi and we were going over a bridge in london we're going over battersea bridge and it was so stunning like all it was dark all the like street lights were on kind of see the water going

on and on the radio was playing just the two of us you can make it if you two of us and i gave you a bit of a look and you gave me a bit of a look and it was like just the two of us we can make it if we try we can make it if we try and it was kind of the two of us so ever since then it's kind of been our song of just the two of us but kind of almost only over the past week we've actually been listening to it we kind of forgot all about it and then we remembered it we were like do you remember when that played in the taxi i was like i'm actually gonna have to listen to that because i know it's a banger and i played it and i was like wow this is kind of the best song ever and

i listen like why is this my favorite song so we're both into that song bill withers that's why i mean if you don't listen to just the two of us by bill withers and just i mean i love the bit when the women go just the two of us that's kind of us that's when we've learned how to time travel because you were in doctor who and we go back and we're in the recording studio that's canon that's our song of the moment anyway that we're loving but it's almost like just the 10 000 of us yeah just every single person listening and else so another question name something you've done drunk but would never dream of doing sober well i was kindly reminding you earlier about when you were hopping along the streets of brighton you definitely either been spiked or you were doing cat and you didn't tell me i was convinced

that i'd been spiked i was convinced because we went to this party so we went to a party it was a big old group of us who's even we weren't invited oh yeah no but i remember i mean i don't know about you guys but i was already speaking to somebody there and they were like yeah you should know but we knew people we knew people there but they weren't we weren't like personally invited no because you that guy was your enemy who was my enemy that guy i'm not gonna say his name you know he wouldn't he wasn't our enemy we just um we were friends in first year but we we weren't invited that's for sure and it was kind of a big party we weren't invited it's really sounds really bad like we turned up and then suddenly you were kind of trotting down the street like absolutely off

your nut i was speaking to someone that i don't know who it was this guy i know who it was it was this guy that you fancied because he was vegan and that was the only reason that you fancied him i think and he had dark hair so it's your perfect match yeah and he gave me a drink and from that moment onwards i was insane i remember um i you guys had kind of walked on a bit and i was back with someone just like literally being sick and sick we were split up that whole night yeah i don't think i saw you i was just being sick sick sick oh my god on that night this guy came up to me was like are you a libra i remember yeah i remember that and i was like oh my god yeah i am are you that. And I was like, oh my god, yeah, I am. And you were Libra. He was like, yeah, I'm a Libra. Like, weird fucking Libra. Like, queens, Libra twins. Like, he was obviously trying to fuck me. But in my mind, we were

best friends. We were Libra gals. Oh my god, that's so amazing. We were Libra gals. Then I realised it was because I was wearing a necklace that had little Libras on it. But I was like, whoa. Like, dude, how do you know oh my god man that's crazy i was bouncing i remember yeah that was so i fell out fully you were tigger something really funny that happened that night so we were walking back with this guy our friend and we got back into the house and remember he had a snail on his cheek if this wasn't in the houses on the street i've got a picture on my phone still it must i must still have it literally of a slug it was a slug on his cheek yeah i think it's because i pushed him into a bin and i said to him like something something something i dare you to make

this a facebook profile picture but he was kind of having to carry you yeah it was kind of i don't really know what went on and then he obviously fell on the floor at some point and no one noticed and we got back in and there was a slug on his face there was a slug on his cheek i was dying you've got a slug on your cheek you must be fucking joking you're taking this is bad but that was a funny moment yeah have you ever done anything drunk that you wouldn't do sober what do they say like a drunk drunk words true mind something like that the classic saying drunk words true mind something like that it's like when you're drunk a drunken mind is a drunk work drunk words are sober thoughts if you were a biscuit what biscuit would you be that's one well i take these way too seriously don't know it's gonna take me about 10 years to figure this

out because i'm just like well either, I don't want to be eaten. I kind of want to be a human. I find these questions really tough. Why is that? Like, honestly, I've never seen you think harder. It's like, oh God, what biscuit would I be? A biscuit. At the moment, I'd probably be an Oreo

because that's what I'm enjoying. Accidentally vegan. I was going to say it's the vegan one I would think of is an Oreo. I do love a Biscoff as well, like a Lotus Biscoff biscuit. But they make me absolutely sick, probably because I eat about 30 in one go. It's funny because Jack and I at the moment are like, don't forget the fucking biscuits. Like when you go to the shop, don't forget the biscuits. Really?

Yeah, it's quite a big thing for us. Biscuit culture. Oreos and Biscoff biscuits. It just doesn't really appeal to me that much dry dry it's kind of a packet of crisps but it's sweet yeah but it's not a packet of crisps though is it it's like well it's sweet yeah but it's almost like quite stodge yeah that's my vibe stodgy vibe i get it i don't know i do like biscuits i wouldn't really i don't really do you know what i mean like biscuits you're not really a biscueteer i'm not a biscueteer but i would eat a biscuit if you made me some if

you baked me some biscuits so what are you backing oreos probably oreos wait hang on as if this was a job interview for like a big thing and they said to you what biscuit yeah but you really are you actually wanted it the ceo of the biscuit factory where you design biscuits yeah i'm the ceo of the biscuit company and they say yeah and who are what biscuit are you and why it's kind of i can talk about feminism all day but when it comes to the real stuff i struggle biscuits i don't know if this is what i am the the difficulty is it requires some self-awareness about which one am i where do i fit within the biscuit hierarchy but i think which the question is which biscuit do you like the most which i

fear that that is the question yeah i feel that the question the answer is kind of like a chocolate chocolate chip cookie like a maryland obviously i can't eat maryland because they're not vegan but that's nice kind of that with like some milk, some soy milk, that would be my favourite biscuit, if that is what the question's getting at. A chocolate chip cookie. Oh, do you actually drink, would you drink soy milk? I wouldn't drink it, but I would dip it. So it's all an act for the interview.

I would dip it. I would dip it in the milk, but I wouldn't then, but I wouldn't then drink the crummy milk. Do you drink your crumb milk? Absolutely. No, I would just never drink milk, ever. I wouldn't dip it either. I'm not a fan of that. There's something about milk. There the crummy milk. Do you drink your crumb milk? Absolutely. No, I would just never drink milk, ever. I wouldn't dip it either. I'm not a fan of that.

There's something about milk. There's something about milk. The fact it's from a cow's teat. There's something about milk. But soy milk, I just wouldn't. I'd get a little bit for some dip situation. But I'd just rather dip in tea, no? No, because then you fuck up the tea.

But if you dip it the perfect amount. No, you still get crumbs in your tea. No, not always. Always. always always you get crummy tea you're doing it wrong i don't want to drink the liquid that i've dipped the oh so you would literally pour out how much milk would you have not asking a podcast question how much milk would you have um this is rubbish okay this one came in by voice note this one came in by owl fluid delivered by a bird named arrow something similar to what you guys a lot of you i think are in a similar situation and it was essentially kind of seeing somebody but you're not really ready to get into a relationship because you're still trying to kind of understand yourself and just explore your own life and your own being

um but you do really like that person uh so take it away stephanie with the advice i think it's such a complex situation that we've all been in like it's so confusing when it's like i like the person but i also want to do another thing women as women as we are we are more encouraged i'm really trying to like think of real advice but i'm actually fucked um women we actually maybe we should say we stopped recording for like five minutes then i was like fuck i want to do this one and i played it and i pulled you back in so we're a bit out of it so women i'm going around women are encouraged to kind of be kind to men that would never show the same courtesy back if the guy was thinking i want to do this i want to do this i know this guy you love him and he's great

question to yourself are you benefiting as much as he would he would would he stick around if he wanted to explore his sexuality i'm convinced otherwise i completely completely agree i think it comes back to the same advice that we give all of you in the dms um because all of it really comes down to i mean the only thing that we can really say when we have such little context on you um and also i think the best advice you can ever hear anyway in life is that you need to prioritize yourself yeah that's that's a struggle as you say women as we are um it's a struggle to prioritize yourself because you've been told your whole life don't don't do that you're told you're nothing don't prioritize that piece of shit and you've

also your life is so long like fine your life is short but it's also kind of the longest thing you'll ever experience you've got years to go absolute fucking decades to fuck about with who knows what and god knows what and be whoever you want like you've just got that honestly the possibilities are endless i just think the worst thing you can do there are worse things i could do you could stay home every night wait around for mr right you don't want to do that so i could stay on i love the best bit in that song is i could hurt someone like me oh it's just like so stunned when it kind of is a bit of a key change out of spite or jealousy i don't love amazing

can't relate i lie and steal frequently but the worst thing you could do is get away with a boy or two the worst thing you can do is um but i have it i have it the worst thing you could i'm gonna phrase it differently what you don't because every time i want to finish the line what you should not be doing is holding out in a relationship thinking oh no i want to do this different thing but i'll compromise for him i.e not do the thing you want to do because he doesn't want to do that i will stay around him because i've seen it time and time again that someone stays with someone because they think oh no i love them i love them i love them but i actually want to do this other thing but no no they would never leave me for that reason and then year later they get the same

opportunity as you someone else is showing interest they leave you for something silly yeah and you think well all that time i could have done something else oh what was that interesting thing like see the potential that you see in others in yourself i feel like if you're having these these feelings of like i would just want to you're just not ready to like be attached to one person that's it that's all you need to know then um so i hope you've enjoyed this drunk bonus episode we've talked a lot of shit i'm just looking at you like yeah do what you need to do to get me out of here thank you it's now 12 12 55 for us um so it's just past midday and we've got to spend the rest of the

day in this level of drunkness and do quite a bit of work which is hilarious but i hope you guys don't need to do any more work today run yourself a lovely bath oh my god phone your pal stroke your dog stroke your cat i need to um do some fun stuff maybe eat some food eat some biscuits but don't eat too many that you feel sick watch shrek i actually might watch shrek tonight that's I need to. Do some fun stuff. Maybe eat some food. Eat some biscuits. But don't eat too many that you feel sick. Watch Shrek. I actually might watch Shrek tonight. That's lovely.

I want to watch Frozen 2. I haven't seen it. I haven't seen it either and I don't really have any desire to watch it. I've heard good things about Frozen 2. I didn't love Frozen 1 but... I just hate that fucking snowman. So ugly. Oh. I hate Elsa more than I hate the snowman.

I think it's so ugly it's just like why did they why did they design it like that i think he's quite cute looking oh no no no no you do have a bit of dodgy taste because you do love lin-manuel miranda and i love lin-manuel miranda someone messaged the other day i don't know if you saw this saying i completely agree that lin-manuel miranda is a hottie no so I think I'm converting people around the globe into loving you're kind of a preacher you're gaining a following he's hot because he wrote it that's the thing he's hot because he's like the pioneer of Hamilton I get that but it still doesn't outweigh the reality the very unfortunate reality i think it's also that he's against so

like you see him on stage and you hear him singing alongside so many kind of angels yeah and also i think the guy in the uk hamilton is much more of a stud yeah but it's not about stud with lynn the title lynn's not about being a stud you just don't like him because you think he's short he is short yeah and i do have a thing against short yeah but as i just said so is daniel radcliffe and he's my king yeah but i also don't think he's daniel radcliffe's heart i kind of think daniel radcliffe's my son no daniel's heart because i sent you that picture of him with brown eyes which is the worst thing i ever did yeah erin erin basically fucked life up for me a little bit because i've always thought i'm a i'm a malfoy gal and ron and malfoy and and we all know fred and george gal um and serious that's who i love in Harry Potter

there's kind of everyone but harry yeah harry's just not even got a look in and then erin did the worst thing she could have possibly done sent me a picture if you all google this right now if i if i implore you to do anything more in the world is google daniel radcliffe brown eyes oh my god and prepare yourself he looks so good and it changes everything he's got his curly little hair he's got kind of um sort of pin curls sort of 1930s pin curls literally yeah yeah and i just implore you to look at that picture daniel radcliffe brown daniel radcliffe brown eyes now everyone go search pause come back okay hello everyone's seeing the picture isn't it great i think that's a good place to end it it's probably a good place

to end it when i started fucking dying over the fucking fairy godmother that was about five seconds in okay amazing well this has been a very different episode we're back next week with hardcore feminist theory so i look forward to speaking to you then um thank you guys so so so so so much and i really hope you enjoyed it and thank you thank you so much for turning hi bye right bye oh my god