Goes Without Saying - underwhelmed, lonely, & outgrowing life: 'everything shower' for the mind #2

Episode Date: April 21, 2024

podmothers sephy & wing enter the chat: spiralling on small towns and small minds, childhood friendships, isolation, anxiety, authenticity and performance in relationships. ✷shop ✷ www.sephyandwing.co.ukhear more ✷ www.instagram.com/sephyandwingwatch more ✷ www.tiktok.com/@sephyandwing Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

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The animal kingdom is queer and we are a part. Find a field guide to gay animals on Spotify, Apple. Or wherever you get your podcasts. ACAST helps creators launch, grow, and monetize their podcasts everywhere. Acast.com Goes Without Saying. You're listening to Goes Without Saying with Sefi and Wing. I'm Wing. And I'm Sefi.

This is another episode of How to Everything Shower the Mind. Come with us on the journey. By summer, we are going to be squeaky fucking clean we are taking our deep fried minds and rinsing them down we're hosing them off in this episode we're talking about who we're surrounding ourselves with and how that can have either positive impacts or seriously negative ramifications on our sense of self enjoy nice nice everything shower for the mind episode two we've started a bit of a series over here which i'm personally excited for and really what we've set as the mission is that by summer we'll be squeaky

clean yeah yeah our brains there's no more dirt in there we're gonna be everything showered so the concept of everything shower have we even spoken about that explain to the naked eye to the untrained eye the name that everything shower would be well i am i can imagine people listening like almost like if my mum was to hit this she'd be like everything shower for the mind have you landed on a different planet like it's like no welcome to the internet everything welcome to the internet welcome to the internet come on everything shower is I believe you have a shower where you wash your hair you exfoliate you maybe do like a hair mask you shave your legs you're doing everything everything shower that is an

everything shower yes full scrub down imagine that for your mind yeah because my brain i feel like is quite deep fried greasy it's quite grimy it's like there's a lot of shits going on in here personally and i have to agree yeah for myself can i be real yes we're on different sides yeah and it's fucking me up mentally but i can it's a test that i need so i'm so sorry it's not your fault to do this to you it's my fault i have a spot on this side i'm trying to hide it um it's honestly not your fault and i'm so sorry to do it to you because we always have our good sides and our bad sides these are our bad sides so if we look extra ugly in this don't tell us because i honestly am on the brink so wings got like a

fucking i'm doing everything that i can to look the other way i'm doing it you know ariana grande used to do this what does she do apparently everyone would be like she only shows her right side so like a camera would come up in her face and she would literally look away but it's like yeah no i get it and that's what's going on right now and that's what i'm doing so i'm sorry about that i'm just i also feel bad because i i have a good side this is my good side but i um you're not that loyal i don't have strong strong feelings whereas you have a strong i'm feeling a strong feeling today i am i feel like some days i could give or take it but today i'm really feeling it for some reason also you're having to really action it right now so it's like i'm literally avoiding eye contact with you like the plague it's actually

like you're a basilisk like i'm like don't look in her eyes you need a little bird to come and blind me honestly i'm so sorry no no this is for one episode um no look it's it's important it's really important it's politically important as a woman it is and look a bad side good side shmad side shmood side it doesn't mean so true true words never spoken never never a truer word okay so yeah on on that kind of topic and my deep fried mind I do need to be scrubbed down and yeah I need to sort this out big time and the idea of the everything shower for the mind you can explain it in a sec, but the idea really is we're putting a time limit on it

that by summer we will have squeaky clean brains. I think we said by August, so we're giving ourselves to the end of summer. But also if you're listening to this, because I did kind of think, what if people are listening to this in December? I feel like people go through our archives. Yeah, that's so true.

Which is slightly worrying. Please stop doing that. Or enter at your own risk yeah it's like yeah if you're listening to this in december there's nothing to say you can't squeaky clean your mind like that's fine you can do that at any time of the year and you'll have the luxury of the hindsight to be able to see from the future they said by august but they didn't do it because also it couldn't quite manage it is actually a lifelong journey and there's no such thing as a squeaky clean brain no brains are messy life is messy shit gets hurt at you all the time but i think there would be something quite nice about maybe setting a goal that by the end of

summer as we keep saying we feel that we have some kind of clarity on the mess that is going on inside our heads so the everything shower is the deep scrub down yeah of traditionally the body the hair the feet you know nooks and crannies yeah nooks cranny you're aware of an everything shower yeah unless you're an alien that has arrived on this um planet and hasn't yet seen the internet you are aware of an everything shower it's funny you say that but i actually had this conversation in real life the other week where my boyfriend's brother was like what are you talking about on the podcast these days everything showers for the mind yeah and his wife was like the everything

shower for the mind and he was like what's that what's the everything shower and i said so then everything shower would be like you're doing a deep like scrub like it's a shave it's an exfoliate it's a hair mask etc etc and i just think i would that sounds really great but i would love to do that to my mind and like clean all the grime out clean clean all the dirt out of my brain like everything shower sure but i really need to do that to my brain and he was like oh and you just came up with that yeah we did and now we talk about it this is very much your okay thanks well i hope you like everyone it's a great concept thank you i do think it's a um i'd want it obviously yeah i now speak directly to you yeah i'm loving it good i'm loving it so fine it's only episode two and we have done some videos on it as well um yeah as

we're doing right now also we're filming this yeah we told them that if well you know if we're pointing at the cameras you know that we're filming because you're watching it but you listening pointing the microphone don't maybe don't know we're in the hopes that this will end up on youtube yeah youtube is what we're aiming to accept yeah it's like in the hopes that it ends up it's like well you never know what could happen yeah but that's what we're aiming for yeah it's like in the hopes that it ends up it's like well you never know what could happen yeah but that's what we're hoping for youtubers often say things like the footage was corrupted oh they always say that should we get straight in yes let's get straight in after 10 minutes of chit chat yes so this episode of how to everything shower the mind what are we talking about what are we going to talk about like connection and things like that was that it yeah so we kind

of had this conversation we've had this conversation recently quite a lot and you you can stop me here at any time if I say too much but you had said I feel like I'm getting dumber or something I feel like I'm not stimulated as often as I used to be yeah I feel like I would come away for example from seeing like a certain type of person and be like whoa we're in really different places but now when I see them I just think oh that was nice or whatever so almost the gap between you and certain people has closed and that could mean so many different things um but we were kind of talking about the broader conversation of how it feels when you can

you just identify in yourself that you're spending time with people who are either like challenging your views or your morals like ethically you're being challenged or confronted and you feel like the people you're surrounding yourself with are not good yeah oppose your kind of political views or yeah your like core beliefs as a person or you're spending time with people who may be you're not feeling very stimulated by the people that you're around so I feel like those are very common issues and I think that adds to the general idea of feeling like you're kind of living out of sorts that you're in a bit of a rut or your your brain's getting a bit grimy yeah and in order to freshen up let's take stock of like let's clean house a little bit and shake up like who's in here who let me actually take stock of what the who who

do i have yeah in this world in this space uh how does that make me feel about myself yeah take it away oh god but yeah we were just talking about this we just had a lunch with our manager as well Freya Queen we love her and we feel very stimulated we feel very stimulated yeah and we were kind of talking about this and I was talking about the my theory at the moment that I've got dumber which isn't very nice but I do think that being in the environment that I'm in I have moved home a year ago to my like small town that I'm from and there yeah when I moved home I think I didn't really anticipate the environment of a small town being I mean I found it oppressive my whole life like my the moment I turned 14 I was desperate to leave I was like I know that this is limited mindset that is around here I just don't feel aligned with so much of the culture yeah genuinely with the culture even

though it's literally raised me yeah and it is in me in so many ways I knew that I didn't want to live there forever moved away all of that had a great time then I was like fuck I actually want to move back for a year so I'm on schedule I want to move back for a year so that I don't have to pay rent in London and I can go traveling and do some different things I felt stagnant in London blah blah you probably know the drill a lovely life really nice but I do think during that year yes you're just not exposed to new schools of thought you're actually exposed to incredibly old schools of thought again and again and again and it does I think wear on the brain you're where I live I'm not near culture I'm not near anything really anything like there's a supermarket and a new look

like there's not really anything there's not loads of stuff that connects with your like values or interests not particularly but there is people can relate to people that I love there but I just got back from Amsterdam late last night in fact very very very recent yeah um and I spent a week there and god just being close to like cinemas and museums and just like things that are happening to do people on the street that you sort of have a little conversation with and there isn't just someone walking their dog and being like you're right like which is very I don't know you said a really nice thing sorry to interrupt but like just now when we were at lunch with Greta you said like I've I love my hometown and

we were kind of saying like you can love it but know that you don't need to be there right now or know that you don't need to live there or be there every day right now and I think having like a it's almost like you can feel like you need some space from somewhere or someone or something and that doesn't necessarily mean that you don't love it or appreciate it like I feel like you don't have to be tied to something every single day for the rest of your life to prove that you love it. Even like with hobbies and things. It's like you don't have to make a big song and dance about loving a podcast. Like you don't have to do it every day to prove that you love it.

You come to this life with nothing to prove. Exactly. You come to this town. Yeah. With nothing to prove that you love it you come to this life with nothing to prove exactly you come to this town yeah with nothing to prove yeah I do though think it is really like I was just saying to you on the walk I feel like it is really nice to like if someone said to you where is home you would immediately know like where you're from which is just so lovely what I thought you were going to say that was quite nice was um this morning I went for a run and on that walk on that run I walked past so many people being like hi Poppy hi Poppy so how are you four people so wholesome that is an experience you

don't get in the city but I just think the amount that I do genuinely think I've got dumber in this year I do I do well then we were also saying, you're surrounded by people in that town, you're surrounded by people who knew you, Poppy, from when you were like eight years old. Oh, no, way younger. Yeah, from when you were born. Way younger, yeah.

So even subconsciously, when they view you, there is something that caps you to them at that kind of eight-year-old self. Like you will always be tied to your history yeah when you are surrounded literally by it in a really tangible sense yeah but I think it's really normal um or like it's very common it's I think it's like a universal experience for people to feel just have complicated feelings about like where they're from and even like family and things like that well that's a whole other

fucking yeah that's there's there's no everything shout for the mind that could quite wash that one down well you need to hose the whole lot down right everybody they need to honestly be bleached some fucking acid on you it's not my problem actually i don't need to hose you yeah no i can't deal with that you can shower your own brains or not yeah i've got control of is my own yeah yeah okay so i like this okay yeah i i'm going to flip i'm so but just to make myself more comfortable i'm looking this way no but that's that's fine but i think that's to get the you've acknowledged that it's the yeah i think it's absolutely fine all right we'll see what happens i'll see how it looks well i feel good like this i just wanted to acknowledge that i'm not looking at you and I definitely am from

the back of your head but I also don't mind I don't I really don't which I'm weird at it yeah look this whole setup is not normal yeah um okay yeah you know when you're feeling like I think as well it's something where you can kind of take it for granted like I feel like quite a classic way that people get that kind of buzz is like you're starting a new job or you're starting a new uni or you're like in a new space and you're kind of overwhelmed all of a sudden with loads of different people and there's a lot for the mind to take in and it can be really overwhelming but also very stimulating like you're maybe going to new places for drinks that you haven't been before or you're like meeting a new person you're meeting a new friend of a friend etc etc when

you're kind of living in the absence of that experience so like you're feeling quite stagnant or there's nothing new coming in or um you're just not feeling very stimulated by the conversations that you're having the people that you're around etc and not even in like a harmful way of like pointing fingers and being like you're not stimulating me because I actually just really want to make clear that the crux of this is not to be like some people are dumb or boring and and you don't have to spend time with them quite the opposite I think it's more so just to acknowledge that people go through different phases and like move through different spaces in life and you're always kind of changing and sometimes you really click with someone you

can feel it straight away and sometimes the conversation is very clanky and it's just like something's not fucking landing and i don't know why like i'm making jokes and you're not laughing or like i'm saying things and you're not getting it and i'm just not present and kind of everything on paper should be fine it's like we should get along but for some reason there's some sort of block here and we are not engaged in one another for whatever reason like we cannot connect like there's some sort of disconnect and I'm not stimulating you and you are not stimulating me yeah how do we get around that I I don't think you should bother to be honest I think it's like there's no such thing as we should get on like if you don't you don't I also think just because you

don't get on with someone on one day does not mean that that is writing off that person I just think sometimes we're so simplistic with um who we like and who we don't like it's like yeah I didn't like them on Tuesday but on Friday yeah no they had some points then I really did like them yeah it's just not that binary at all and I think it would be really weird for thinking that it is agreed also sometimes I'm just on bad form exactly exactly that like right now I'm thinking I really do want to go get a coffee but I've taken my shoes off and I can't be bothered but I have just been yawning luckily you can't see because it's to the back of your head but that isn't that oh well we didn't go on blah blah it's just like no actually she's just tired or whatever yeah she got back

from Amsterdam like whatever it doesn't matter um but I think if you if you're not clicking with someone what's the fucking fuss like it actually unless you there could be some reason it's like yeah you sit next to them at work yeah you might want to try and put some effort in or you've just moved in with them whatever you might want to put some effort in but if you don't get on with someone who's just an acquaintance so fucking what yeah plenty more fish in the sea so there are so many people on this earth I've forgotten the number but I hear it's in the billions billions of them billion it doesn't matter if you don't get on with a few of them like that is to be expected and it's not to say um that it's they're better or worse like I think it's like the whole thing about I'm not stimulated by them it suggests that it's like oh I'm so much better than them

which it isn't that at all they are not stimulating it's like it's not their job it's not your job and that's what that was for coffee and it's like oh what and oh they didn't stimulate my mind but also the idea that I think as well for people who feel like they really want to please everyone or like make everyone happy or make everyone like them yeah which I get I think it can be really easy as well to come away from a situation and be like fuck like my jokes weren't landing or like they didn't seem to connect. They didn't seem to get me. What's wrong with me sort of thing. And like coming away from a from some sort of encounter and feeling like, fuck, I didn't do enough.

Essentially to win them over, to make them like me. That's definitely something I've thought hundreds of times. Definitely, especially as what you're what you really want in those situations is to feel accepted yeah and especially if it's people that I don't know that you value and stuff I feel like that is really difficult to be like oh I came away from that interaction being disappointed because I thought it would go a certain way actually I don't feel um anything for them yeah but yeah so fucking what what is the most um basic fucking instagram and like let's even say it's probably fucking facebook but it's like you could be the juiciest peach oh god but there's just some people that don't like peaches which is so true it is so true

yeah and i hate to say a fucking mortifying quote like that um like my brain cells are dying one by one I haven't got that many left the best she's got Facebook brain that's what happens when you move home guys you get Facebook brain and it's not it's not good it's not pretty in there um it's like dance like nobody's watching guys um but you can be the best version of you that oh my god you could be hitting those jokes you are hilarious so relatable oh my god there's somebody who's like i don't like her doesn't land sometimes that really like in a very real way doesn't particularly matter yeah then you wake up the next day and you meet the people that do get you yeah and you think yeah i met some people yesterday that just thought i was a fucking weirdo yeah yeah okay and what so true and what and what and also

i think we just don't ever because we as a society have low self-esteem like i genuinely think there is a self-esteem you guys don't mind us saying there is there is pretty clear what's going on here it's a pandemic yeah everyone i meet has such a low low low opinion of themselves that we rarely stop to think okay so we walk away from an interaction where you are talking to some people you think oh yeah they just didn't like me did you like them yeah let's question for a second did you like them and yeah it's not that binary of yes or no you could like them on the friday blah blah blah but did you like them yeah and ultimately like you just don't question it how much of an impact will it have on you or how much of an impact should it have have on you if they don't really like you that much like i promise you you can survive

people not liking you also you probably never know that is the actual beauty of the real world and not um your life not being um a sort of comment section no one you know no one's leaving a yelp review on you yeah facebook brain kind of my dog what do you need a trip advisor no one's saying yeah just had a coffee um with wing none of her jokes land oh my god ouch that's horrific it's horrible but that doesn't exist it's me god i remember saying this in an episode um i just have a really good podcast with wing she didn't look at me once because she was too preoccupied with the camera coming from the back so it looks like i'm talking to her but she's not do not be fooled she's looking in that direction i haven't seen her once very isolating that's horrifying oh god i don't

know how i feel about that no no it's fine but i remember saying there was an episode ages ago acas powers the world's best podcasts here's a show that we recommend nature i've got a gay rooster named francois is so gay these rams are gay. I'm studying gay animals. Does that mean I'm gay? So why don't more people know this? I'm Owen Ever. I'm Lane Kaplan-Levinson. And this is a field guide to gay animals. A podcast about queerness in the natural world. The animal kingdom is queer.

And we are a part. Find a field guide to gay animals on Spotify, Apple. Or wherever you get your podcasts. ACAST helps creators launch, grow, and monetize their podcasts everywhere. ACAST.com The way I kind of live my life is if a tree falls in a forest and no one's there to hear it did it actually fall down because if someone what do you mean by that what i mean you live your whole life but how in what way in the sense that if you make a commotion about something if

someone says right seffy it just fucking annoys me and i just don't fucking like her okay i didn't hear it like right i didn't actually know it so it didn't happen conversation has happened with many people that i've met in my life and i hate to tell you harry but it's probably happened about you as well yeah people have opinions and people to be honest they talk also people don't know what's good for them they don't but luckily your life doesn't have a comment section underneath it yeah if you never know did it happen did the tree fucking fall down okay so someone said um oh i think they were fucking boring and annoying and i just really really rather they weren't there you didn't know

hopefully a different story if someone's fucking told you then we're out for fucking blood here but if you never find out it's like okay so it never fucking happened then it's truly irrelevant to your life yeah what people think about you it's none of your business yeah and that's how i live my life like i'm in a forest and a tree fell down i like that yeah as long as you're safe yeah i've never changed some horror little red riding oh god you are quite little red riding head you're a bit snow white i was thinking this morning i was snow white yeah i thought that because i had a weird vision that this is really fucking weird actually i had a vision that i was i was driving to the station today to come here and i'm wearing a white skirt today let me show you yeah go on give us a 12 beautiful beauty queen and pretend that mocking jade out whoa fire fire you're on fire and designed

by sinner um designed by sinner and he will die for it that's crazy it's a shame um what a way to go honestly for a good cause died for his art and yeah there's no better way really yeah did he die did they just beat him up i thought he got killed i can't and she's in that tube she's in that tube she's in that tube but i can't remember if he just i don't know what they're gonna do beat him up and then let him live i can't seem very capital do they torture i actually? Beat him up and then let him live? I can't. It doesn't seem very capital to me. Do they torture? I actually can't really remember. They must kill him. They let him live. Is he not in Mockingjay?

I thought that was Mockingjay. No, that's Catching Fire. The best one. But anyway, this is my thought. I was driving to the station here and I was wearing this skirt. And I thought, this is really weird actually. Go on. That if I died.

Oh no. Like if I got into a car crash. Oh God, okay, yeah. I was picturing there being blood all over this skirt. And that I i died oh no like if i got into a car crash i was picturing there being blood all over the skirt and that i've died really peaceful and i was like like kind of like i'm dead but like i look really stunning and i was thinking like would the people kind of virginal would the people that kind of find me say like god it's snow white god quite a thought you had that's the thought that i had forgotten that's just what's that's why she's driving in her car no but so i was driving i

think it's because i've curled my hair under today it's no sense so i'll die a peaceful snow white death i thought i just kind of imagined myself because i'm not a very competent driver oh yeah and i pictured myself getting a car crash and that i had died but in quite like a stunning way like this almost i do get that if you turn to look at me you'd see i can see it i would always think when i was driving i would think if i got into a car accident right now what would be playing like i'm obviously blasting music and it's like that's quite an embarrassing way to hamilton sound it's like goes without saying podcast it's like yeah so make sure you turn that off before you get in a car accident it's really not what you want I sometimes think that because you're obviously not going to stop the music as you know definitely not it just keeps

going yeah find you and it's um high school music too it's like no I remember yeah go on I got in a car accident once my music was blaring and I had to turn it down really quick but i was like everyone had heard it it was quite embarrassing what song was it i can't remember now i just remember it being loud and i was like oh oh god i'm making a scene i shouldn't be here it's like have a hard enough time getting out being in a fucking public car accident god it's it's embarrassing it's actually humiliating it's an embarrassing thing to do yeah so don't mind me i'm just anyway if you're driving i feel like this would give you anxiety yeah for sure get where you're going safely yeah really do actually driving is fucking under like people underrated under what's the word i'm too dumb to think of it

i love driving yeah no you do you do but it's because I hypnotized myself before my driving test with that guy I am a confident driver you know people I've had someone message me I was gonna say I saw that comment someone said um that when they're driving they say that to themselves it's really cute that's the impact yeah which is a good impact yeah it's a good impact as long as you are actually a confident driver and you're driving safely. You don't want me saying that to myself. It's like, oh, well, speed up. I am a confident driver. No, don't speed up. I actually am a safe driver.

I'm just really, really scared of it. I really don't like, although my dad told me a really interesting, well, it just changed my perspective on driving a little bit because I'm absolutely terrified, so I drive quite slowly. And he was saying, pretend you're on the motorway. I drive quite slowly and he was saying pretend you're on the motorway the closer the faster you go essentially the closer to zero you are in the way that all the cars are going at this speed and you're going slower than them yeah relative you want to be going relative to the speed of everyone else so it's terrifying because you're going slowly so all these things are whizzing past you

but if you're going a relative speed to them you're at zero essentially to the other things that the if you're on the motorway you're driving slowly um i'm definitely in the slow lane really 100 i hate it fast lane i'm not i'm slow as anything in my little honda jazz were you going 70 or i'm not like danger dangerously slow i'm going at the minimum speed limit sort of thing whatever that is what like 30 no no for a motorway what's the motorway like what's the what's the i don't know if there's a minimum like like i'm not going a weird speed roughly like say you're driving now on the motorway you look at you look down be honest 60 maybe i just don't know maybe 70 i don't know i have never looked going 60 on them i actually have to turn my head for that that is maybe i don't know you have to come in the car with me i don't want to i don't want to i'd be beeping you to fuck i'd be fucking um i wouldn't have

an issue with that you're going sick you are actually a hazard no i don't know if i am going 60 i'm going not fast i'm in the slow lane so if you're going 70 no i'm going 70 maybe i'm just not in the 80s 90s well that's fine because that's the national speed limit but people whiz past me and the funny thing about my car is i have a tesla sticker on it that looks very real very real um and i have actually got a new car now that is not honda jazz it's a chevrolet spark even worse even cheaper and i didn't know that yeah it's really cute it's a bright blue chevrolet spark and there's on the back a tesla sticker and i always just think like god that's funny like and when everyone beeps you i'm like have a sense of humor they've just outed themselves someone who isn't very stimulating

i sometimes think like god everyone needs to lighten up loser like five months god you guys boo yeah it's like no one's even thinking that i'm like lighten up guys i would yeah yeah we'll just everybody drive safe really do stay safe yeah yeah i will say that one of the best things for the brain is spending time around people that you love which is really fucking obvious but i think when you're out of the habit of that um when you're out of the habit of spending time with people that you love it can be really hard to get back into it like yeah i think when you can feel yourself slipping into the cycle of like you're working all the time or you're in a certain place and someone else is somewhere else and

your days aren't compatible and your life just isn't compatible at the moment it can be really it can feel really distant I think it can feel like a huge move to create a situation where you're around somebody that you want to spend time with but I also think it's really really worthwhile yeah and I also think it can be something that we really take for granted definitely I think also when you're in a sort of slump of not seeing anyone it feels just like it's the most just not even not seeing anyone but like you're seeing people but you could be making an effort to see the people that you love more or people that make you feel good more or people that almost that you do a certain thing with someone like you have someone who you go to a certain exhibition

with and it's like shit I really need to make an effort to do that do you know what I mean like little things where like it's like yeah you're going out for drinks after work with people but you haven't seen your friends from home in months or whatever it can be kind of hard sometimes to like identify who who those people are I think like sometimes you go through the motions of being like oh yeah these are just sort of my people these are like the the main cast yeah yeah and actually it's like this is main cast and crew producers directors everyone's here but it can be hard to sort of either make the time to be like yeah I'm going to go to an exhibition with my friend that um really likes art like that will be a really amazing thing to do together or my friend that I like going to the cinema with I

can go to the cinema with like whatever it is even the friend that I like chilling at home with I should see them sometimes it yeah it can get in the habit of being like okay so I just go for coffee with everyone it's like it's coffee really the thing coffee is your brand okay i'm a chamberlain yeah literally or my favorite sabrina carpenter has a song called espresso have you heard it no it's literally the most fun song i've ever had how does it go i'm a singer it's so good it literally just came out like a couple days ago like all i know from her is

i'm talking but i don't know it's like i am in chicago yeah his dick is humongous that's all i know um yeah there was a book that i read that I loved so much and one of the lines in the book was something like this it goes a little something like this yes it was basically I'm gonna butcher it was something along the lines of it was this relationship was like elastic and it had stretched out so far that they didn't want to be the one to make the first move and disturb the elastic as to not snap it yeah almost like we've stretched out into such different spaces yeah I'm scared to pop up and say hi because I don't want to disturb the distance or like I don't want to create any friction yeah I don't want to acknowledge even like how far I can't take any more attention yeah or I can't I don't want to say a friction. Yeah. I don't want to acknowledge even like how far.

You just can't take any more tension. Yeah. Or I can't, I don't want to say hi because it acknowledges that I haven't said hi in three months. Totally. It's like, eee,

it's not nice. God. Which I just thought was so beautiful. And it's from the book, Watching Women and Girls. Ooh, yeah, yeah,

yeah. Which I loved so much. I think, I think it was from that. I bought it. I read one story in it. I think you should go back to it. Yeah, I should, I should, I should. I bought it I read one story I think you should go back yeah I should I should I should I'm just in the middle of reading two books at the moment what are you reading I'm reading tomorrow and tomorrow and tomorrow I'm halfway through that

but then I was really like yeah I'm loving the gaming vibe because also my friend recommended it because she was like they reference like stardew valley and stuff and I was like I'm in yeah um but then I also was like oh shit I want to read I just went to a bookshop and I bought um I have never I who have never known yes known and I'm like three quarters through that which is a short read so I was like I can just do that quickly and then go back to tomorrow tomorrow tomorrow that's quite nice actually two good ones alongside each other very different very different yeah that's nice um but you should read the one that I just said yeah um if you don't mind I've got it at home so I can yeah jump straight I just loved that analogy of being like I don't want to disturb

even though I hate the space that we've created between us I don't want to disturb it because I can't bring myself to acknowledge it yeah totally um but I think it's really important and I think we just get so in our heads and I think it's really important to make room for that because it becomes really apparent this is like it's gonna be a low blow guys I'm sorry but it's only when you like really lose somebody in your life that you realize like how finite and just you're reminded of our kind of mortality yeah that it's like oh shit I should make an effort with the people that I love definitely sorry to bring us to a somber note talk about car accidents and mortality no genuinely it is true i think it puts things into perspective in a way that can be really um

kind of monumental it's like it's it's really huge and it's really like just in the mundane rhythm of life we get so obsessed with like the tiny details of like you spend all day emailing or you spend all day doing it like and you bullshit yeah you lose sight of like there are people who like love you so much and want to see you and you are happiest when you're around them so try and see them next week do you know what that reminds me of? I was listening to, really random, because his name has been mentioned twice in this very studio, in these four walls, Rainn Wilson. Okay.

He has a podcast, or he was on a podcast, I can't remember, I think it was his podcast. And he was interviewing someone, or maybe he was being interviewed, I don't know. But he was having a conversation with someone. Yeah. Probably fucking Stephen Bartlett or someone um i think my feed actually really where rain wilson was talking about someone in his life that had died who was like i think someone in

comedy or like some sort of uh director man sorry to hear that rain sorry about that rain and when the guy i think he was diagnosed with cancer or something was talking to rain and he knew he was going to die rain was like talking about the stuff going on in his life and he was like stop all of this is static it's just static like all of this stuff like the emails the traffic getting on time like all of the bollocks oh they said this it was kind of insulting it's like I'm gonna die yeah and you're talking about emails and i think he was talking about in his own life as well of like all of this stuff that we've we've created as a society is just distraction from the stuff that like truly matters like it is just static like i think a lot about social media as well it's just static it's nothing it's going in and

out of your brain without making any impression on you really it's just um static it's just static it's nothing it's going in and out of your brain without making any impression on you really it's just um static it's fucking white noise and it just tunes out the stuff that's really really actually important and I think relationships are at the top end of that stuff that really matters that we just neglect in favor of just like essentially our addiction to nonsense I do think that's actually kind of the crux as well speaking of nonsense of the everything shall for the mind like concept white noise static i think that's kind of the crux is like there's so much static superficial surface level bullshit that we're confronted with every single day and that we're putting so much

time and energy in that if you don't take a second to like check in with yourself and your mind all of a sudden it's like god i've been hoarding so much mess like there's like junk in here it's like god junk drawer under the sink like it's crazy in here like this is a mess it's embarrassing like i need to sort this out like clean this in years yeah honestly i can't show my i can't show my face around here like this is an embarrassing state that i've let my mind get to yeah and if I leave it unchecked I don't know what I'll become yeah honestly dusty but fusty so I think it's a nice reminder and I think spending time with people that you love and like being really intentional with who you're spending time with and just being aware of like that kind of like weird really fleeting sense of urgency that

you get when you remember that you're um kind of just a human being on a planet and you're gonna die one day who is literally decaying yeah and you have desires and you have love and you have relationship you have like all of this like weird larger than life concepts that you can't access when you're just like turning up to work and doing your thing or like going up drinks on thursdays whatever like you're going through the motions yeah when you have those like of static you're going through the motions of the static so let's cut through let's hose it down let's shimmy leather it up shimmy leather shimmy leather it up shimmy i don't know what the leather of it is though is it called shimmy leather it up. Shammy. That's shammy it up. I don't know what the leather bit is though. Is it called a shammy leather?

I think that might be his full name. Really? I think so. I only know it from the office. He goes, the English office goes, the quality of the shammy. I think that's it. I think we'll use a good old shammy on this thing. All right.

Okay. Let's tie this up. Yeah. I'm not necessarily feeling clean, but. I'm a bit closer to it though really i think i'm intrigued to know what everyone else is going to say because next episode we're gonna because this is the monday and then we're still in our routine of monday we talk about our thoughts thursday we hear your thoughts so hopefully you guys can clean us up a little bit yeah i wouldn't mind that that would be be really nice. And that will be on Instagram. It's on TikTok. Get your chamois out, girls.

Yeah. Get the chamois out. All right. Beautiful. Yeah, and if you haven't watched this, you've got options of where you watch your written stuff. Maybe go and see what we're doing on there, yeah. And then you can see my skirt that I twirled around it. It's beautiful.

You won't be disappointed. I hope not. Designed by a sinner, for God's sake. I mean, it doesn't get better than that. Well, this has been nice. It's been gorgeous. What are you thinking tonight to do oh okay i'm going back to brighton yeah you are which i'm excited about hopefully you're having a brighton summer i think so i've got maybe a house viewing tomorrow but this is making me nervous i feel like i'm getting my

hopes up and it's me too no i'm not gonna bail i'm not gonna bail because i i really want you i'm getting dumber by the second i need to get the city so true I've got a house viewing I might make you pass an IQ IQ test before you come down I might shut the barriers at the train station I also think with me getting dumber like I think also you were making a good point I've got so much going on at the moment yeah like my brain is at its full capacity like no wonder i think i'm getting a bit dumber but i think you've got no sight to be able to i think you've got no scope i'm like right what's going on in the news right now you've got no room in your mind to be able to you're not reflecting on things that have happened you're not like i'm in it you're not looking back

with hindsight on past wounds and thinking about all the lessons it's like no you're literally patching up bandages as we speak so my brain is just slow on finding words at the moment which is not very nice it's fair enough

but we're here for it thanks and I'm hoping I'll get hoping it passes I'm hoping I pass my GCSE soon

I'm hoping I get a big class right if you don't hear from us assume the worst assume the worst, what's this? I don't know Should I do that to mid? Or was that with the headphones?

Go on, do some talking Why is that still quiet though? Oh my goodness Turn me down Can you talk? my goodness just turn me down you talk i'm still quieter in comparison i'll go even quieter i'll go there All right. I'm wearing it. I'm wearing the song at the same time. Okay.

Right, let's just get my camera. I need to say, like, testing, testing. Okay. Cool. Right. Okay, I need to shake. Okay, should we just start again? Yeah, but we can...

Should we do some jumping jacks? I don't know why I call them jumping jacks. Star jumps. Oh, yeah. God, you do say jumping jacks. Okay. We are successful. We are in the studio.

Remember who we are. Oh, so true. Remember who you are, Anakin. In your heart. Anakin. Remember who you are. In your heart. In your heart. Anakin. Remember who you are. In your heart of yours. Okay. Okay, we've shaken the energy.

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