Goes Without Saying - vulnerability: never seen two happy best friends-

Episode Date: April 12, 2021

your ! feelings !! are !!! valid !!!! we're really taking ~vulnerability~ to the next level with this raw, emotional ep of Goes Without Saying. in this extra honest episode, we're chatting about our personal mental health experiences, and how we can follow our own map to happiness. brace yourself, because sephy & wing are spilling the tea and the tears. join the conversation every monday. speak your mind on the @sephyandwing instagram! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

ACAST powers the world's best podcasts. Here's a show that we recommend. Nature. I've got a gay rooster named Francois. Is so gay. These rams are gay. I'm studying gay animals. Does that mean I'm gay?

So why don't more people know this? I'm Owen Ever. I'm Lane Kaplan-Levinson. And this is a field guide to gay animals. A podcast about queerness in the natural world. The animal kingdom is queer and we are a part. Find a field guide to gay animals on Spotify, Apple. Or wherever you get your podcasts.

Acast helps creators launch, grow, and monetize their podcasts everywhere. Acast.com It goes without saying you're here for another episode of Goes Without Saying with Sefi and Wing. I am Wing, joined by the lovely and amazing Sefi. Hello. And today we are giving you a really, really real episode, I would say. Kind of too real. Maybe too real. I don't think Sefi's gonna cope listening back to this. Kind of one of those things I'll listen back and be like, fuck. Okay, okay. I feel like you have the vibe of you've been drunk texting all night kind of you upping everybody you up you up you up you've been sending them out like willy nilly nobody's business

and you're gonna wake up tomorrow and think oh what the fuck did i do oh god oh god you really spilled the beans on yourself to me that makes for a great episode it was great so stay tuned chats on mental health happiness content, contentment, authenticity. You know what to expect. You know the deal around here and if you don't you're gonna get used to it very very quickly I'm sure. Who's gonna start? Oh I thought you were gonna start but I can start. How are you feeling today? I can start by throwing it back at you. Yeah. Whoever starts doesn't really have to start. That's the good thing yeah well i was gonna ask you have you have you been doing the work this week oh yeah i forgot about that i

thought you would well i did go on my day it was fine that didn't really feel like you did any work though on that day it was fine cool um so maybe i should come up with a different doing the work maybe you should go first have you been doing the work i've definitely been doing a lot of thinking that's for sure not a lot of work but a lot of things I don't know if I've been doing a lot of emotional work but I've definitely been coming to some conclusions last week I said it would be a fun thing to do is like get yourself into something or blah blah blah but here's where I am at the moment March for me it's now the what day is it today the 7th of april march for me was like chaos like i was i didn't have a break like it was just like go go go go it was like a lot and it was and it

was full of getting myself into things like a new exciting project it was like i'd done that and i'd said oh april i'm gonna really slow down and i haven't yet but i will and if not this month then it'll be next month only because we're already a week in and i've still got i need to kind of like tie up my loose tie up some ends yeah tie up some ends cross some t's dot some i's and then i can have like a full you can have a spa day you can relax i can have like an actual day off yeah exactly yeah you can watch all the harry potters in one day just get that in early you know boy will i boy will i watch me boy oh boy half of me is like yeah i'm doing the work by doing like some of the most made like like amazing things like so happy to be doing what i'm doing but then i'm also doing the work because i'm starting i'm sowing the seeds of being able to

say no to things and like extending my deadlines and i'm gonna I'm making my life a lot easier I'm making my future self more stable I think by like giving her a better chance because it's just like it's just a crazy old life out here right it's the only option make your life easy for yourself but I did do an amazing thing for I won't say who but like a quite a big influencer oh I don't even know about this I'm thinking who who is this I'm not gonna give details or like it's not out yet so i'm not gonna go into too much detail but i'm really happy with it there's no one we like there's no one we know and i didn't really know who they were but so that she's like an influencer like a musician like very very cool person i was able to create some stuff with her is it dodie is it dodie is it no musician i'm thinking

dodie is the only one i could think of it's kind of one direction if the doing the work is like pushing yourself out of your comfort zone which i feel like it often is for me half of my comfort half of pushing myself out of my comfort zone is like getting me onto these exciting projects and like doing cool things like making stuff i'm really proud of and like having fun new experiences. And then this new part that I'm trying to lean into more is the taking my time, slowing down, not having to do everything, like just because something's really exciting

and it feels like a once in a lifetime opportunity, it doesn't mean it's my only opportunity and it doesn't mean I have to do it right now on everyone else's terms. Like no, like I can have my own peace and quiet. So mean I have to do it right now on everyone else's terms like no like I can have my own peace and quiet so I look forward to it maybe next month I don't know when I'm gonna schedule in that peace and quiet but I will do it yeah definitely it's kind of the thing of the doors will open it's not your job to know when they'll open how they'll open you don't need

to grab at each door they'll open you just gotta open the door in your head walk right through jim told us this we're coming in early with jim on this one jim told us this about 10 years ago he said it in an interview we're bringing up twice under five minutes we're going in with jim and i don't even care it's jim jim jim owns this as well now it's partly jim's thing it is yeah absolutely that's really nice though i think that's really true yeah well that's really nice but then so also I'm not gonna lie I was thinking yesterday and I was I literally was holding my phone about to go on the stories and talk I just thought I can't do it it's hard because I'm thinking of the reality of it is that sorry I'm really like kind of venting but it's not really what you signed up for but whatever

no no go for it this is our podcast and we're gonna bring you authentic realness always and whatever that looks like on the day and on the day it's this me kind of ranting about god knows what and it's me kind of being a little bit depressed i think i don't really know what my mood is today i'm just a little bit down we're gonna unpack it we'll unpack we're gonna unpack it and it's gonna be it's gonna be interesting it's gonna be an interesting ride we're gonna see where we where it takes us but i feel like recently my biggest thing that i think i've identified that is what i need to start doing the work on like really really actively i think i need to be quite strict with myself i think i've kind of come to the conclusion it's quite sad i've got myself into some bad habits over the past like like couple

of months not that i'm like suddenly like kind of doing coke and like kind of I'm like I'm Demi. You're Demi Lovato. She's been watching Dance With The Devil she thought that looked like fun if anything. That looks like fun. That looked like a great idea like it went really well for her. Basically I think I'm looking too much into people being negative. Oh that's not nice. Like people being mean i'm i'm really like consuming a lot of mean stuff not like directed at me at all is this about the dm that we just got no but i can go into that but basically i've been consuming a lot of shit online of like people i don't know like loads of comments about like this is really like this is such an old reference but like loads of comments

about molly molly may's body when she's on holiday or whatever that's a really old thing but those sorts i'm consuming a lot of like awful dark nasty people forums of people spewing hate at people why are you doing that it's kind of like reading tabloids in the early 2000s like reading like kind of okay magazine where they're saying like jennifer alliston looks so chubby is she pregnant do you know what i mean and i'm just consuming a lot i can't go near that shit that is like i can't well what i've realized is now i think the symptom of that now is that i'm everything i do in my life i'm viewing my life i'm viewing myself like through the eyes of someone that hates me oh god that's horrible like really awful do you know what's most awful about that is that no one hates you so you're viewing your life through a fictional eyes of someone that doesn't exist that yeah in a

parallel universe hates you yeah and that doesn't know you completely so that's the most fucked up bit is the imagined audience of it all is that it's all in my mind yeah because it's not like i'm reading piles and piles of hate about me because it doesn't exist like this is a small podcast like we're currently don't know when you're hearing this but we're currently operating from a relatively safe space of people being like pretty nice to us generally and i think what i was gonna say on the story yesterday i honestly look i'm not coming in with tears but i am emotional about it um i feel like god okay she is gonna cry but it's fine look you're gonna cry i'm dead inside it's a good it's a good show okay it's kind of that is what you came for right hang on let me get a grip

this is why we i wish i could get a camera on this right now monetize these tears what's upsetting you i just kind of need some eye contact with you okay i'm happy for this all to go in by the way like I kind of I know you think don't lower the tone but I'm kind of thinking look my tone is low sometimes no I don't think that at all I don't think at all don't lower the tone I think let's drag the tone on the ground dig a hole get it deeper look always lucky for you I love you're gonna love what's coming so look in my eyes and get those tears out further yeah i think what i think it's hard it's hard being me kind of destroying your own life i think the thing is what we always wanted

with this was people to listen and we would all feel seen by one another i feel seen by you you feel seen by me the listener feels seen by us i then feel seen by them listening to us listening to you listening to me listening to them and it becomes this whole real like dynamic connection that we have the problem the problem is though with that and with me seeing myself then through or imagining just spending a lot of time subconsciously wasting energy on thinking about the people that hate me or the people that would have whatever perceptions of me every time we get the most beautiful dm saying like love your podcast like i loved when you said this or really like you guys i feel like we're friends blah blah blah every time we get a message saying i feel so seen by that it's like

that's one more person that could be disappointed or like that's one more person that oh that's horrible do you know what i mean no silence yes and no because i think i get it from the perspective of the people that really are in on us i'll be absolutely gutted if we ever get a message saying like you guys have really changed like i'm not really into your video anymore like you're really boring whatever i'll be really gutted or like this whole jim carrey thing it like needs to stop like whatever it's fair enough i also like i agree i agree like i fully agree with all of it or is that the harry potter's shit it needs to go it's like no i'm with you i completely agree yeah no we're so with you someone left us a review being like the best harry potter podcast like no no i think they were making a joke with us i they were said in the last episode didn't we yeah they are making a joke but it's also like

when we say keep this on the down low we mean keep this on the down low um but i agree with all of that but i think when i get a bit i don't know what it just kind of brushes off me what is when we got a dm today that was like like i got a reply from this really big influence the other day and you guys haven't even replied to me yet. And I looked up and she'd sent something like a month ago that we hadn't seen. And I do feel a bit like, you're not entitled to a reply.

I'm so sorry. We try so hard to go through all of the answers and I think we are good at it. I think we really try. If we've left you out, we were saying this earlier, give us a little nod, send another one and we will get back to you.

Yeah, I really encourage that. If we haven't replied to you, if you sent us something, just send us something. Like, I get it, it's not like, oh, if I missed your message, like prompt me. It's like, well, why should I? But if you want to have a little chat with us, come back and be like, girls,

like I sent you that really cool thing. Like, have you seen it? But like, don't be a mean person. Don't be don't be a con well i think what was annoying about that message was because it was aggressive it was you guys how dare you not reply to reply to me i've sent you a message and you guys think you're so amazing not to message me you only sent one message like which is just i find it irritating like if i'm actually being completely honest i find that really entitled and irritating there are so many influencers that i fucking adore that i've sent messages to and of course i don't expect them to get back to me what am i what you on about the thing is with that is that like it's not even

it's not even a thing of i don't have the time to reply to everyone or like oh i just all right it's the fact that when you send a message maybe to you it's like oh you've sent us a message but to me when that comes up on my phone i see you've sent something it's like right i want to have that moment with you it's a one-on-one or a two-on-one moment between sephie and wing and you and i want to really even if it's just a passing thing i want to i want to have that i want to give you a good convo i want to give you a good chat and that the good chat isn't always available because i'm kind of crying about feeling like i'm gonna disappoint everyone do you get what i mean It's not that we're like, oh, we get so many messages and we just don't have the time and blah, blah, blah. It's not that at all. Absolutely. If we sat

down and replied all day, we absolutely would have the time. But I just, I want, I put too much pressure on the message being perfect that I don't send the message because I, because I feel like my replies aren't going to be good enough for you guys look this is really real yeah this is very real I don't know I just find messages like that a bit kind of look like look we do care and I think if you know us you do know that we care I hope so I was thinking yesterday the fact that Steffi and I do this together means that we have these conversations all the time all the time every time we speak we're talking about like how the week's been how it's grown how things have changed what we're scared of what we're excited about a cute message like we're constantly talking about the psychology of this for us that i think

sometimes like if if we were doing it on our own which would be a godforsaken land a godforsaken alternate universe which i would never want to be in no because we do it together and we talk so much together we forget to share the realness of that with with you listening maybe and i think it may be some because we were talking about saying oh do we put something on the story saying like we're human and blah blah it's like wanky things saying like we're not ignoring you blah blah blah maybe it's just that we just continue to show more and more that we're human i know maybe this sounds really ridiculous because we are a small podcast it's like no one's saying you're not human you losers like obviously but no you do seem very human you seem very no one's got you on

a pedestal like it's fine yeah like who the fuck do you think you are because so much of the podcast is geared towards like the higher quote-unquote higher parts of ourselves it's like our higher selves come and sit down in front of the microphone and they and they talk blah blah blah and then the real sephian wing creep back out once the episode is over and all the fear and not that we're like crippled with fear all the time but i just think there are parts of it that don't get the light naturally because it's not instagrammable and all of that stuff i think i feel the imposter syndrome hint back to last episode of that so much because it's like yeah okay we can get on here and talk about body image body image body image blah blah blah and it's like

well then i'll still get it back in my life and be like right i'm not eating for the day i still deal with all of that shit yeah and i think that's when you feel the huge weight of it then you get messages saying this episode really helped me on body image it's like no but it didn't even fucking help me it didn't even fucking help me like what the hell yeah yeah yeah like what the hell like it's all i think all of this stuff is amazing but then i think getting a message that's like you guys didn't even reply it's like oh because we're still going through shit like you know you're arguing with your fucking friend so am i i'm doing shit as well like it's kind of there's shit going on and yes i will try and reply to everyone and that's not in a way if there was like a massive queue of people that are like dying guys guys guys please reply but when we get a

shitty message like that it just does does give me the reminder of no like that i do need to take some ownership of my energy here and not spend my time trying to like make amends with people that are angry with me because they got a reply from a bigger person exactly it's like we're good for fucking them great yeah i'm so glad you caught them in a right in a good moment for them that they could reply to a dm oh god i've kind of nearly sick god sorry what am i doing why are we starting with this i think this is a big fat joke to everyone listening they're literally like you are a tiny pocket like no one knows who the fuck you are like you are not handling this well like guys this isn't worth

the stress and it's not yeah it's not if we're honest it's not worth the stress but it is this is what i think as well like sephia i love you saying that of like with we're what's going on with you is going on with us too blah blah blah and i think that's why maybe you like the podcast is because we're not like dodie like we're not like like we're not a massive influencer with two girls sat in their bedrooms not that there's anything wrong with that yeah exactly but it's like we're kind of sat in our scummy little lives yeah and that that's why i say in every episode if you want to do something especially start a podcast just go and do it because there's no reason why sephian wing works and it's working so far you want to write a song write a fucking song bitch like honestly go for it i'm i've got

an album coming out at some point in my life i haven't started working on it yet absolutely but there is an album coming you will hear an album from me oh before the day before the day is done there will be a single out for sure i just hope that it's really hard to articulate the value of of look and now i'm crying yeah is it so powerful to know that people listen that's a bit cringe awful awfulful, awful, awful, awful. I just love the idea that this is the first episode people listen to of us. They're like, oh, what's this Sepian wing thing? They click this and they're like,

sorry, what the fuck is this? And that's what I mean by like, obviously we're not massive. It's not fucking Kylie Jenner sat here being like, love you guys, blah, blah, blah. Even if we had like 10 million people listening versus if we had like a hundred people listening versus if we had like 100 people listening the value of one person listening is life-changing to me in my mind like it just feels it does i don't

know it just feels like a real thing and i just i think that's the attitude we've always had with it though like each message has felt like so much and that's i think for me that's the thing that's kept me going along with just the delusion yeah of myself and my life i do think that's one of the things that's like each message does mean so much and i think that's probably why we get so upset when we get a one that's mean we never get any mean messages apart from from in salman we do get mean messages and also they ended it with they ended the message with this is just some advice kind advice just some kind advice don't take it to heart and it's like look if you knew me at all you know that's going straight to my heart deep inside sorry but you just stabbed into my heart so don't then say it's

kind advice i think it's just every single message we get it's like oh i've got a new best friend it's like every single message we get it's like this is my new soulmate like i i need to dedicate i want to dedicate my life to you they're literally like this is too much is like, this is my new soulmate. I need to dedicate, I want to dedicate my life to you. They're literally like, this is too much. They're like, this is too much. I just sent a casual DM, mate. Yeah, exactly. They're like, no, I didn't ask for that.

We say this, sorry, I'm afraid it goes, rant from me. But we say a lot about like, oh, it feels like it's bigger than us now. All of a sudden, like now it's bigger than us. We don't have the power over it. It's bigger than us. And I think I just have a lot of fear about if it's bigger than us now and it's still small if it continues to get bigger than us i i won't be able to convince you that you have value to me because it just becomes a thanks the messages guys thanks i can't sit everyone down and say thank you like yeah how are you it's so

true well it's kind of you want to write a handwritten letter to each person send the pigeons out they send little messages yes exactly yes but i also think that's the name of the game with the fucking internet the name of the game the name of the game of the internet is that everyone feels um like their personality has been stripped of them and that their numbers i still know that i'm valued within my um within the podcast that i follow and the people that i follow i still know that i'm valued as more of a number and they feel that they've got a personal connection with their audience

without getting a personalized fucking letter through the mail from them. Like I think it goes without saying. I think it gets to the point where it goes without saying that you're valued in the audience. And also like, you know that, like you know that you're smart people. They are smart.

God. Okay. Well, happiness, hey? I hope everyone's feeling a bit happier than us. That's all I can say. Christ. know that like you know that you're smart people they are smart god okay well happiness hey i hope everyone's feeling a bit happier than us that's all i can say christ breakdown over breakdown overs breakdown yeah was it singular was it plural i don't know i don't know whether i'm breaking down or not but i think before recording an episode on happiness you psych yourself up slightly to almost be like right okay now i've got to have my my points in order i've got to know what i want to say about happiness

because it's a fucking big topic like it's big and it's also like i've got thoughts but also i don't know today i'm just feeling very iffy like i don't know what it is and i think seeing some of the stuff on the story we wrote do you place your happiness on future goals and things like that and i just think subconsciously i think we're doing that more um more than we think you can do all of the things like you can control your mindset so much i feel like i do so much work to be able to control my daily happiness with like fucking yoga meditation fucking gratitude all of this shit and like mindfulness blah blah blah like all of the fucking bullshit it can only go so far i think i think all of that shit that has come in

in the world of in the realm of kind of mental health chat can only go so far if you still have the huge societal pressure put on you that you can only be happy once you've reached these markers of success and that you can only be happy in the future and that your present is kind of irrelevant because it's all about either the story you tell yourself from the past of why you can't be happy or the narrative you have about the future of why you will be happy when you've achieved point a point b point c yeah um and it's just never about now and i think all of these like grounding techniques blah blah blah and it's just like right okay like enjoy your day all of these like grounding techniques, blah, blah, blah. And it's just like, right, okay, like enjoy your day. Enjoy this bit of your day.

Aren't you lucky to have this? It's like, it only goes so far because sometimes it's like, I don't fucking feel that. I don't fucking feel that at all. I've woken up, the sky's blue. Why am I still feeling shit? I don't know. Yeah.

It's like, well, the last thing I want to do then is be like, right, let's put on fucking Andy from Headspace. Hi, I'm Andy. Meditate away. It's like, no, I really don't want to do that. I just want to go then is be like right let's put on fucking andy from headspace hi i'm andy meditate away it's like no i really don't want to do that i just want to go back to bed 100 i was gonna say to you yeah like it only goes so deep because you're supposed to be upset sometimes and we've said before like sephia and i have this bad habit of trying to smart our way out of our feelings like you try and intellectualize your emotions so much that you try and find a route out of them and sometimes if you're sad or in a low mood or whatever is happening it's kind of just like yeah you can find out why all you want and you can have all of these

this massive toolkit of mental health resources to go back to to maybe try and make you feel better but maybe the biggest thing is is just acceptance of okay i'm i accept that i am sad today or even in this moment we were literally saying earlier i can have a great old morning be feeling really positive and then by like 12 o'clock i'm feeling shit oh my god awful worst day ever yeah then i feel great again it's not like oh i have one bad day it's like i have a million things in one it's just a huge yo-yo or I used to hate people being like it's okay to have a bad day because I would be like what about like a bad season like what about like a bad six months what about just like quite a bad life like is that okay is that okay

yeah we said a few episodes ago I think it was like that I don't really experience like sadness that much, which I think is really true. I jinxed it. I don't like I literally don't. Yeah. So I think it hits me really hard when I do like when I suddenly I'm just like, oh, I feel like sad. Like I think I slip. I'm very much slipping to anxiety very easily or just like manic behavior very, very easily. But I like sadness there's like a slow emotion you're rarely still never you don't you never have a stillness you're not very pleasant to be around you're not very peaceful you're kind of making me on edge no i mean but i i mean it was something that like i it was a notable feature like when i was getting to know you and like when we were forming our like strongest bond ever

yeah we were building our love it's like a notable feature of yours that like you don't have that like a still wallowing sadness which i'll hold my hands up i do i'm not gonna lie to you guys who's shocked no one but yeah you you are rarely still in sadness do you know i mean like it's it is the it is interesting i think we do we have different experiences i think it's a frantic nurse it's admirable in lots of ways because it means that you i've seen you do it something happens or whatever you have the reaction you get upset you work through it and half an hour later we're kind of watching a horror film with like loads of sweets it's kind of that sounds it's like oh seffy's sad yes i can't wait for how we get out of this one it's kind of getting a six

year old out of a sadness like you're sad about the kitten don't worry about the kitten look over here oh my god we're going to about the kitten look over here oh my god we're going to thought park today look over here it's big jelly bag of jelly beans it's like yeah wendy's small frosty is the ultimate summer refreshment and not because it's cool and creamy and made with fresh canadian. It's also refreshingly cheap. Just 99 cents until July 14th. It's a treat for you and your wallet.

ACAST powers the world's best podcasts. Here's a show that we recommend. Nature. I've got a gay rooster named Francois. Is so gay. These rams are gay. I'm got a gay rooster named Francois. Is so gay. These rams are gay. I'm studying gay animals. Does that mean I'm gay?

So why don't more people know this? I'm Owen Ever. I'm Lane Kaplan-Levinson. And this is a field guide to gay animals. A podcast about queerness in the natural world. The animal kingdom is queer. And we are a part. Find a field guide to gay animals on Spotify, Apple,

or wherever you get your podcasts. ACAST helps creators launch, grow, and monetize their podcasts everywhere. ACAST.com. I think I look for the reasoning behind sadness and it's like when you can't find either a distraction in a big bag of jelly beans or kind of a trampoline and suddenly it's like oh no you're just sad for no reason like I think you've got to carry this onto the trampoline you can be eating your jelly beans still with just like a bit of a sad tummy because nothing's going on it's just the reality of being human it's like

your period you're on your period and you feel sad or whatever it's like a chemical thing you're in a pandemic maybe i don't know if you've thought of that guys you're you might be in the middle of a fucking global pandemic you might be living through a major historical event you might be monumental moment in culture but even when you're not like when it's just kind of i'm um just like on the way to see my friend and i'm just like oh i feel like sad i think it comes as a real like oh like someone come and like zap it out of me like no it come it um becomes kind of like i think i don't know i don't know how to deal with sadness like just like a slow level of sadness or like a neutral state i don't know how to deal with just like a neutral to sad yeah i want to like exist on the like extremities of things like either so fucking happy or like i'm sad and like everyone

leave me alone like i don't want this like weird like i just feel a bit on it's the leo moon i see that i mean in reality it's like got nothing to do with the quote-unquote leo moon whatever that is i think it's actually just anxiety but i think as well like i think a massive thing is the toxic positivity thing but i think for you it's actually got nothing to do with that oh yeah the like it's not that you um are trying to it's not that you're trying to be positive and blah blah i think it's the it's there's a thing about being weak as well can we talk about that you don't want to we can't look fuck i actually i'm so beyond it maybe it's just today and when i'm editing this i'm gonna be like fucking hell bitch cringe yeah look are we doing this or not are we doing this or not yeah we're doing it yeah this is the thing we keep saying

to ourselves recently it's like you're either gonna do something and you might as well do it fully yeah as jim would say risk being seen in all of your glory jim would say that thanks jim carrey he's sabotaging our lives i think in fact he did say that once in an interview and i wrote it in my notes but you can either do that or you can do it half-assed i.e not do it at all so yeah let's fucking do it i have a preoccupation with being weak it's fine yeah and i think it doesn't well maybe you should speak about it i'm not commenting on you know your life for once i hate looking weak it's like a big old thing like if someone if i were to feel patronized or i think i have a problem with sympathy as well yeah if someone was going to be like oh like why don't you just it's like no fuck off fuck off i'm stronger

than you she's fumed already just thinking about it it's like no uh you've actually your boyfriend doesn't love you bitch like it's kind of i'll get like a bit like someone's being rude and i was like no sephie don't worry about it like no like it's like your parents are gonna get a divorce your parents are gonna get a fucking divorce oh my god what is wrong with her i'm joking i would never say that definitely a gendered thing too though right of being a weak woman and i think there's like a concept that definitely a gendered thing too though right of being a weak woman and i think there's like a concept that i think a lot of us have grown up with with the damsel in distress and like maybe being you know oh i'm gonna be a tomboy and i'm gonna reject being the damsel in distress and all of these things that we've internalized it's not like

other girls yeah it's so i'm not like other girls like no like i'm just above that oh like it's so fine i'm just a cool girl like i i jump on a trampoline like i'm fine it's like no actually get off the trampoline well it's a weakness in itself the kind of declaration of i'm never sad i'm never i'm never weak it's like well that there's your weakness then it's kind of um in our favorite film jumanji but not the classic the one with the rock the jack black the rock yeah i'm kevin hart jumanji jonas some may say basically there's a bit of jumanji or a side note there's a bit in jumanji where it comes up with all of their weaknesses and like it's a really lame joke like one of them is like cake i swear

and he does eat some cake and i think he explodes crazy weird happens but sephie's weakness would be being seen as weak maybe my weakness would be weakness yeah yeah it's quite cool so cool right guys like she's just one of those girls like her weakness is weakness no it's quite cool my weakness would be weakness it's like yeah that's cool my weakness is strength what's actually your weakness do you think like i i don't actually know what my if you had a jumanji thing and it was like your strengths and weaknesses what do you reckon yours would be my weakness is um my weakness is like sympathy but kind of in a really annoying shane dawson way i'm just like an empath and i'm just like i just like i can't watch old people

eat because it just like ruins my whole week but it is kind of i i've i've really i'm a sucker for a sob story i'll feel your sadness more you're not even sad and i'm feeling your sadness more than you've ever felt sadness before it's like no i'm not sad about it i'm crying for you you're like no i'm actually good it's an old person on a bench eating a sandwich they're really enjoying it he's like don't pity me bitch wings like they're so lonely they're all alone in this world i think that's my weakness is the substance uh yeah i take things too deep what's your strength um is the deepness my strength is is like i just have the whole massive range of um is being able to feel things deeply and like it's just it's a wild thing to get out of or get through tough shit i think it's the most important that amazing thing of life is love the

only thing we're in life is love the love for yourself to get through trying times lines vines and trying times what about you what's yours what's your strength or like what would you say is your biggest strength or just a learning thing atm i don't know i was thinking about this i think it is it's something i've been hearing from my entire life it's just that that we've been talking about authenticity and all of this stuff but i think there is an idea with me of like difference which is really sounds like it's like i'm not like other girls i'm different she's quirky i'm just a quirky kooky gal but i do think that i think there's more to it than that and like it's a conversation we've been having more and more recently between me and wing wing and i i'm kind of shaking because i kind of feel like i've wanted to say this on the podcast for so long yeah i'm kind of to the world of to the world i'm gay i'm joking

suddenly it's an announcement video suddenly it's an announcement but i do think there is an idea of difference no i i completely know how you feel and it's something blah blah blah i don't know what i'm saying that is just say in one sentence even basically the sentence is there's been throughout my life an idea that i might be autistic i think recently i've been coming and it's been used as a joke throughout my life oh don't worry about her just her autism and there is all there's a lot of a history of autism in my family anyway um so i have a very very close personal relationship with autism as it is um but it's been a thing throughout my life and women are diagnosed in fucked up ways like there is no real the the way that women are diagnosed is fucked like there's a big discrepancy if you

don't have the markers of you don't love trains then you can't be autistic you don't love inanimate you don't have cars you don't talk about this you get social cues and women's um autism comes up in a way of like masking and all this different stuff and um and just processing emotion in different ways um and i'm really getting fucked up about this as well no it's okay i'm kind of like we're all we're all on the edge of our seats you know what it is we're all giving you a lot of sympathy right now and i'm like not because of the content of what you're saying just i'm like all your parents are getting divorced but just for the experience of like it's hard to talk about things it's hard to talk about something when

you're not quite sure if you've got a grip on it yourself yet anyway. That's what we were kind of saying is like, it's hard to give the full story on something when you haven't quite figured out how the story goes yet. It's been a big thing for my life. Should I get diagnosed? Should I not? Because I mean, my family personally have weird experience with the like diagnostic

system, I guess, and things like that and it's just a process and I think I'm coming to a point in myself where I'm realizing that I'm from people that really know me and it's something that you listening right now might not really be hearing your this might come as like a bit like what like sort of thing but I think people that really know me it's something that's come up a lot of like you just are slightly different in the way that you think and process information and i i do see that and i think i denied it for so fucking long and wanted to be the same as everyone for so long kind of am i gonna cry yeah cry absolutely cry what is this episode honestly

i'm so sorry for anyone that's listening to this episode i think if you've got a discomfort with authentic like realness then that's on you like then you can go yeah you can go this is part of your life this is part of what's going on in your mind it's hard to come to an episode every week when like maybe 40% of the week you've been thinking about a big thing that's affecting you but you need to ignore it for three hours while we record well thing is it's that thing of it's not a big thing to me like it's not um it hasn't been throughout my whole life i think there's been conversations about it of oh okay like what's kind of going on with that freaking freak like what's that bitch thinking there's but i think me and you for the first time had had a conversation about it was probably over a year ago now where it was like look let's cut with the just you're a bit weird you're a bit different

well i always thought it was a bit weird that people just said, oh, so she's a bit autistic. And I kind of thought, I don't really think that's, I don't think that's fair to just make it a sweeping little joke or like make it a little dig and kind of not, I don't want information to be withheld from you about yourself.

And I also think it's kind of really, but I always describe it as just like, everything that I love about you could be tied down to your autism so it's kind of it's kind of the best it's just literally just a part of who you are and we always say just own your truth guys and your feelings are valid your feelings are valid trust the timing of life and all that yeah i think that it it's it's just one of those things i definitely don't have a grip on it and And there's definitely people, it's kind of when there's such a lack of awareness

of autism within women, there will be people going, no, you don't. You know what it is? It's autism imposter syndrome. It's autism gaslighting. I don't know. It's very confusing to me. And it's very,

because when I hear it from people of, no, you process this wrong, or you have a different understanding of this and you... What have you done with that thing? What did you do there? You're just slightly getting everything wrong i i very much for a long time took that so personally but why can't i see what everyone else is seeing like why can't i just i like i can't have i can't do small talk in so many ways i like people be like how are you and i'll say all the wrong things and it's like why can't i just know the lingo everyone else

seems to have this little language that i just can't fucking do this is why the dms often fall on me because I have to make like a big I have to do like the good like kind of um I kind of it's like flirting the amount of times I've been sexting for seffy like I'm she's sexting by proxy like it's kind of it's so true it's so fucking true I really am sexting by proxy like it's kind of it's so true it's so fucking true i really am sexting by proxy sometimes look it's a thing i don't have a grip on myself yet but if we're going to talk about strength it's like look i'm trying to accept that difference is a strength and there's no need to mask as i'm just a normal kind of gal it's like no actually sometimes you are you come across really weird and that's fine it's fine you come off just a little bit like what what was she

talking about and that's fine yeah 100 it's it's real and it's authentic and i don't i don't know um if i want to get diagnosed i don't know what where i want to go from here well maybe you listening might have some interesting insights and like you can direct well don't come at me saying uh actually but if you're gonna be nice and normal and if you have personal experience don't give her sympathy because she'll be fucking rude don't give her loads of sympathy but but people i reckon lots of people will relate to what you're saying and we're just about realness here and i'm over trying to be normal i'm trying to doing a whole i'm doing a whole thing at the moment where it's like i'll walk out of a room and just be like i just said a weird thing as i left like that just everyone is now thinking huh um but i'm just like look like that yeah like i actually am kind of

getting over it it's part of the fun of life and i think it's just part of my um quote unquote personality whatever it's just quite it's it's part of um how i communicate i guess it's just a little bit leaves everyone thinking hmm something strange was just said don't quite know what to make of that i don't know you know what's interesting what's funny that you don't know but my instagram explore page over the past like month or something is full of like autism stuff at the moment well i must have been given one post on it like something about you know there's a lot of like adhd talk there is people make reels about like lots of different like whatever and i must have clicked on an autism post then i click on another autism post it's like what i've done with taylor swift is now my explore page is just full of taylor swift i'm a big swifty now i'm having that

with um lily rose death oh are you in that with her which is so random it's weird what they serve you no i don't love her at all i've got it's weird what they serve you because then you end up liking it i have no feelings about lily rose death other than i love timothy chalamet so i love her yeah via timothy chalamet yeah yeah well you can see her through the eyes of timmy of timmy so i'm kind of getting a bit of their relationship so i but for some reason it's just fucking lily rose death constantly i'm like fuck off yeah well the more you click on it then the more it gets but it's like why am i clicking on it it's like some 16 year old girl it was literally a year ago taylor swift was coming up on my thing and i thought that's weird they think i

really like taylor swift but then i proved them right because i kept fucking clicking on it turns out i'm obsessed i don't know it's just i think it's really important to be honest about who we are like i don't know it sounds really deep but i think there's lots of ways in life that we just aren't honest about who we are well i think also we come to this with like huge performance but also we come to everything with performance one comes to everything with performance but yeah just just in your waking life whether you have a podcast or not what is like i go to I would go to class in a big fat performance

and I go to fucking see my friend in a big performance and it's like, actually, let's just strip it down. I think I really want to get over just the performance of life and just live as an authentic self, whatever that means. Freely. Freely the banana girl.

Wait, what about Freely the banana girl? I used to live by her when I was like a really pushy vegan age like 16 shakes head it's quite scary what was i gonna say i feel like also another thing that i'm thinking about a lot and kind of what brings us back like right to the beginning of the episode where i was kind of crying about like not being worthy and this is kind of a thing that i've been thinking about a lot and we go through waves every week one week it's your feelings are valid the next is be intentional i had a whole thing about being intentional which i still think holds up but i think at the moment i'm thinking and what i think

a lot of people should be thinking i think we could all do well to remember sometimes whether we're living navigating life with a sense of feeling unworthy and undeserving or are you navigating through life feeling deserving of good things it's like yeah i turn up to good things and i feel oops i feel undeserving or i feel undeserving to speak about my autism because i haven't thought got it thought it through yet i haven't got a grip on it yet you know like not me but you get you get what i mean i'm talking through my voice yeah we get it this is wing speaking yeah people are gonna get confused but i just think if you're coming if you're meeting life with a sense of undeservingness

yeah you're never gonna find happiness or contentment and that you will be deserving once you have um lost three stone and once you have married your dream man once you have married james acaster for example or once for example hypothetical there are so many things or like once you have just got that promotion at work like everything is just always slightly out of reach yeah i think that is capitalism that makes everything just seem like happiness is you're just on the brink of success you're just on the brink of happiness like yeah oh if i just stick to these routines or if i just do that little bit there it'll be fine but no it won't be fine spoiler alert it won't be fine yeah no it won't be fine because there'll be a the marker will move and

you'll just be striving for a new goal you've got to be okay with the chaos and that is the hard bit 100 that is the hard bit and it's also hard i think to it's like getting in before that even happened before you've even established okay these are my goals it's like the idea of having realistic goals for happiness it's like why do you think something is realistic to you because you think you're only deserving of so much and we speak about it all the time like low self-worth and like even in the last episode we were speaking like with imposter syndrome about the ways that we learn to be small and to lower our standards and just be quiet and blah blah blah but i think there's a lot to be said about like so you would see someone's big like new york penthouse apartment and you think oh my god that's stunning but your first thought is that could never

be me and it's like you haven't even given yourself the opportunity to dream a little bit the opportunity to dream and be a bit deluded yes i just think delusion is such a beautiful thing at times obviously everything within moderation but it's also like you don't want a big health like big fucking helping of delusion but i do i think a little sprinkle of delusion on top yeah you're going back for seconds of delusion you just need a little cherry on top of delusion and everything is quite fun yeah you see the big penthouse you think that's stunning is your first thought but rather than placing but realistically on the budget that i'm on how am i ever going to look at the state of my life it's going to go this way i think it's like is it delusion or is it just reality to be like you don't know like you actually don't know

what's going to happen in your life look at the course it's taken so far i am 99.9 sure that you won't have been able to predict where it is now 100 and also you're deserving of amazing things and like amazing people and you don't have to settle for scraps and scrappy dues you don't no no that i don't want that for you that's not what you deserve you deserve really fucking good things you deserve the things that you want. You do. Literally always. It's just that life is built to make you feel like you don't. It makes you feel like you're fucking mental for wanting that New York apartment penthouse, projecting everyone's dreams.

A New York apartment penthouse is a very societally acceptable dream as well. Exactly. It's like maybe you don't want the New York apartment. Well, it's an acceptable you don't want the new york apartment well it's it's an acceptable um unrealistic dream yeah for like a kid in fucking warwick but maybe what you do want is a kind of small farm with lots of cows and pigs talking from personal dreams that would maybe be something i would love but it's like that isn't potentially or like i just i just want to move again buy a van drive around have a have a dog or a cat and just like bake fucking sort of apple pie every day society's gonna tell you you're fucking weird you're a fucking loser

yeah your society's not gonna be like that you're you're lazy why can't you just do like the rest why can't you just get on with the real world like the rest of us exactly but it's like actually if you acknowledge that your dream might be a little bit your dreams don't need to follow the neat package of what society tells you basically your dreams should be obscure to the people who have a life that you wouldn't want exactly yeah yeah you should be in a position where you can say your dream you can look at someone and think i don't want anything about your life and you can explain your dream to them and they think you're a fucking nutter that's how it should be that's the dream that's the dream they shouldn't get it the dream is to confuse everyone's racist uncles absolutely just couldn't just they're all gonna

be slightly confused after the christmas dinner when you tell them what you're doing yeah that's what i want the people whose lives you don them what you're doing. Yeah. That's what I want. The people whose lives you don't desire and the people who you don't necessarily admire should not be able to understand your dreams. No. They shouldn't be able to make sense of what you want. They should think it's quite bizarre and they'll think that you don't deserve it. But you do.

Well, they'll say, how dare you? Your generation thinks that they're so entitled. It's like, maybe i am entitled to happiness yeah maybe just by being born i'm entitled to follow my own um like map to happiness yeah not follow your crusty old sat nav fucker so fucking true don't ask for directions from someone who's never been to the place you're trying to get to we love that we love it so much saw on a tiktok decided to live by it i love that we get increasingly more cringe in every episode. It's like after every episode, it's like, yeah, we couldn't get worse than that.

And then the next week we come in, Jim Carrey said that you should love yourself. And we go crazy. Also, it's kind of Jim Carrey would listen to this and be like, please, please do not associate me with any of this. Yeah, he's he's fuming. If he knew, if he knew he was part of this if he knew i really like this message someone said i thought it was my scrappy ex that was making me unhappy i dumped him last week celebration phase but i realized i need more help and i think that's really true because it's like actually sometimes the thing that we think is like

the barrier in between us and happiness isn't necessarily what we think. And it's easy sometimes to have a scapegoat of it's my shitty boyfriend. It's this scrappy dappy dude that I've been dating. He needs to go. He's gone. It's like, oh, wait, but why do I still feel shit? Oh, now it's like I find it's this thing. No, it's not your job, actually.

It's maybe there is something. Well, it probably is your job. But also maybe it's something deeper inside that's like I actually don't think I'm going to be satisfied with anything until i come to a peace within myself 100 that's kind of the lana thing that we love of what does she say it's like you oh i'll do it go on take it away okay let me get into it are you gonna sing it for us no but i'm gonna deliver it like a poem okay i moved to california but it's just a state of mind turns out everywhere you go you take yourself that's not a lie that's not a lie that's what lana said it's so fucking true well you think your life is going to be fixed when you move into that new york penthouse

but you get there and you realize oh shit i brought all my problems with me because your problems didn't live in your hometown or wherever you are they lived in you and you came with you oops you can pack up your bags go off to california woohoo new life in california fuck i took myself everywhere i go i take myself that's not a lie it's not a lie no it's not a lie lana told you it's not a lie you know what though i also think it's um i think i have this a lot with so like for example you um here we go let me let me think about how i want to say this you can tell on this podcast we don't think before we speak yeah or we think we speak very quickly and our thoughts have to catch up open your mouth and just see what see what comes out and just see what comes out michael scott style what does he say

he's like that's what i was just trying. Sometimes I start a sentence and I don't know where it's going to end up. Photosynthesis or something like that. Love, love, love. Just everything about that love. But I think sometimes we think, oh, as soon as I get out of this situation or as soon as I've got that, I can be happy. Or as soon as I've dealt with that

or as soon as this person is out of my life, then I'll be happy. And actually, it sounds like a bit of a hard truth. It sounds like I'm delivering some sad news to you. but i actually think it's a positive thing that i've learned honestly bearer of good news right now yeah the bearer of good news don't shoot the messenger praise her sort of your angel gabriel coming down send her sweet messages support her on patreon genuinely but some i think sometimes we think oh as soon as i've left that relationship or as soon as i've left that toxic situation or as soon as i've got out of this or entered that i'll be

fine but actually as soon as you have done that thing you have left that relationship or you have got out of that situation or you have got into this new thing it's not fine because you're left now with the remnants and the symptoms of what you built up living in that situation for that amount of time yeah you've got like a greasy greasy residue of like all of the shit that was said to you all the shit you said about yourself and just everything you did that didn't align with yourself it's just coated in it it's like right you've got to actually now work to like rid yourself of all those memories and you've grown you're a new person now you're meeting yourself again as maybe a grown

woman for the first time of like don't you think yeah your divine feminine energy let's just sprinkle that into the sentence everybody loves to hear it nice to meet you how do you do but it's true you are meeting yourself again now with all of your new knowledge emotions that you've been through come out the other side or you know all of these new experiences you're shaped into a new person and some of it now is going to be not pretty and it's going to be new things that you haven't dealt with but if you've made it this far you're ready to unpack the rest of it and it's kind of the only option if you want to live a positive life it's like that was an amazing thing to leave a relationship that wasn't serving you and hopefully it's all gone well on that end and now what an exciting thing to venture out into your new life with your new sense of self and your new

problems which sounds rough but it's actually just part of the fun of life is just growing through it also you don't want a problem-free life a problem-free philosophy hakuna matata sounds great for a while well someone said i really like that someone said um i'll never reach happiness because you have to feel sadness to appreciate the happiness and i know it like listen we've all had that before like you have to be sad to appreciate the good times was he's like no you don't you knew that it's hakuna matata lifestyle he's like shut the fuck up bitch he's like boring heard it all before but this podcast is shit i hope that's my vibrator oh my god it might have arrived i don't think it

is i think it's lost in the post but anyway quite funny that there's a vibrator somewhere with my name on it yeah we've been sent some vibrators ever so far mine's arrived it's definitely got hurt now i'm really jealous that's the thing of going back to what i said at the beginning of like your strength is kind of all of the shit that you've been through because it does make you you're just you come out a whole new bitch i know i say that all the time a whole new bitch but it's kind of just every day you go to you go to bed tonight and you say thank you for who i am today i can't wait to see what i'm gonna be tomorrow good night miley see you in the morning miley my said miley cyrus and i roll over Give her a little kiss on the

shoulder and I roll over. Bye Miley. See you in the morning. If you're filling your day with things like reading, listening to podcasts, doing any kind of like live things, talking to people, you know, living in the world, you are going to be be changed that stuff is going to change you i watched the woody allen documentary never going to be the same i watched the demi lovato documentary never going to be the same changed forever each one changes you each thing that you encounter change you have a conversation that changes me forever and it's like look okay i'm not the same person as i was before i watched that woody allen documentary now it's my mission in life to shut down woody allen and shut down anyone that stands up for shut down i'm taking it upon my it's my mission in life to shut down woody allen and shut down anyone that stands up for woody allen i'm taking it upon myself what happened after i watched fucking blackfish

it was my mission to become the spokesperson of tilikum the orca whale it was your personality and i continued to to sing his song loud and proud to fight that fight i'm fighting tilikum's fight till the day i die even though he he did himself die. But it is completely true. You are completely shaped by everything. You know what I thought was interesting? Mental health, genetic. Do you think mental health is genetic? I always find this interesting.

I mean, there's research to say it is. You love nature nurture, don't you? I love it. I love the idea of, not love the idea, but I love the conversation of, is generational trauma a thing? And can trauma stay in your genetics and things like this i don't know do you believe that um um sort of how happy you can be as genetic well i was shocked to see that on the results seven a big fat 70 percent of people said it's not genetic oh wow i'm not that shocked actually because it was phrased

our yeah it's quite quite a lot right yeah yeah it's great so you've got strong feelings yeah they've got really strong feelings i kind of just because i think there are lots of like mental illnesses that run in my family and i mean just from a psychology perspective there is a lot of evidence that i guess you can find evidence for what you choose to believe i didn't mean to say that but whatever i don't know if you know about this saying it's that you find the evidence for what you choose to believe i don't know if you know about the saying that we say in every episode i believe that some scientists also agree with this all scientists hear us that i'll say that every episode and they're like shut up like i think everyone no matter who you are you hear us

in every episode and think shut up i think we learn a lot about i think you learn a lot from your parents and your upbringing and i guess part of that is genetic is the genetics and part of it is the biological answer and the nature side of things but i also then think yes part of it is nurture and just the fact that not only is it genetics that have influenced the way that your parents have given you ideas about mental health and blah blah blah it's also the nurture it's the environment and the way that they it's the environment and the way that they've raised you so it's like the biology that they've left you with and also the the real like the behaviors kind of running in tangent yeah

it's both but i think because i definitely see like families and like and so i definitely see families and then i also see people from communities or like people in their environments conformity is a big thing and i think you when you especially when you're growing up you're such a sponge that i think you do just often lean into what you are what you're shown i think that you're shown like how to be in relationships i think you're shown how to deal with the quote-unquote real world like i think if you're shown like how to be in relationships. I think you're shown how to deal with the quote unquote real world. Like I think if you've seen your parents kind of be a bit miserable, it's kind of, it's very, it's what's normalized, right?

You know, there's this big thing of like normalize kind of. Normalize healthy communication and boundaries, guys. Exactly. Yeah. Like normalize like saying no when someone tries to rape you. It's like, this is not helpful. But yes, normalize Like normalize. Normalize like saying no when someone tries to rape you. It's like, this is not helpful. But yes, normalize. Normalize it.

Of course, mental health comes back to what's been normalized for you. Completely. Obviously you can subvert that. I'm not saying you can't. I think I subvert in lots of ways. I'm sure you do too. But it's not a surprise that people will say to you,

oh, you're acting like your mom. Or like, oh my God, your dad does that. Yeah, completely. It's like, well, obviously. You learn how to act from them most likely and you are genetically them i find it so interesting um all of that i think i could kind of i would love to sit down with someone that actually kind of knew some knew some evidence and would like actually tell me like yeah what is what because i think there's so many things that you can see people say people in my family say you're so like blah blah blah a grandmother a great great grandmother that i

never met so it's like well she passed down no behavior to me or no so cool kind of comedy or anything she moved yeah passed down no emotional responses to me other than literally i guess genetics or what it passed through kind of subconsciously through everyone else and whatever i didn't know honestly it's in your blood she knows more about you than you do you didn't tell me your dad was a seeker too harry too harry i didn't know oh cutie pie so cute absolute cutie pies it's in your blood but that's the thing it's like you're a seeker you never met your dad you found out he's a seeker so it's in your blood harry exactly yeah exactly your blood yeah he didn't tell you oh you should be a seeker yeah but i think there are things where you realize that you're great great great great great grandma you see a photo and you're both kind of she loved painting and she's

got a similar painting style to you it's like she's got the same phone case as you but it's like oh no that sometimes you do pass down certain things maybe i don't know i love the kind of romantic idea of that as well but i kind of hope that's true but also from a generational trauma thing not so great oh it absolutely is true it absolutely is true it's like site is psychology it's gcse psychology which i never did and i wanted to do so badly you should have done it yeah you should have why don't you just tell people that you did it and just do a bit of googling and then you'll have done it but i think about that a lot in a racial sense of like god my ancestors ancestors my sisters and sisters you know but sometimes i

think about like god what ways have i disappointed my ancestors by like leaning into whiteness and what have i like rejected of that it just becomes quite horrible but and i also i love this like tiktok trend that was going around like we see it on reels of people being like oh there's a really good one where she's like watch me grow out of my wishing i was white phase have you seen that it's like the most stunning woman you've ever seen but there are a few of them i think exactly yeah and or it's kind of like um i used to hate my nose and then I, and it's like lots. Watch me grow out of my hating my nose phase. There's so many like, watch me grow out of my hating my natural hair phase. And it's like, oh my God, that's the most stunning thing I've ever seen.

Exactly. Yeah. And then using images of like people like, you know, of underrepresented races and things like that. Just there are lots of different ways that we are all, well, not, I guess not all, but there are lots of different ways that we are all well not i guess not all but there are lots of different ways that we're underrepresented underrepresented and as much as representation isn't the be-all and end-all it's just really nice to see people like it's i think it's a good thing to romanticize your own life fucking life yeah your own shit and kind of

be proud of it because i think we're so absolutely so told to be ashamed of so much that we are all kind of fit within very niche things that we should all kind of be and i think it's actually like look none of us fit in that like unless you literally are gg hadid and even then you deserve to be here you're deserving yeah but it's like the chance that you fit within the niche mold are very slim so let's all just stop trying to get there. Gigi Hadid's dad is a man named Mohammed who was born in Palestine. Well, there we go. And Bella Hadid, her sister, put up a picture of his passport and Instagram removed it. What? Because it was like hate speech because she put up a picture of her dad's passport that said he was born in Palestine.

Can you imagine? What the fuck? So we've all got our shit going on. Jesus. We say it every time time the world's bleak but we're here for you so it's fine we're all in the bleakness together yeah we are it is that we're all in it together so should we start a discord yes we haven't said that on the pod but why i want it to be on discord is because facebook people people get angry on facebook

i don't like facebook no i'm not here for angry vibes yeah it's not like look who do you think I am literally Mr Zuckerberg we're not in 2014 I can't go back even I'm not in 2010 yeah I've done I've done the work to get away from 2010 although sometimes I wish I was doing a little status that would have like 10 private jokes in like do you remember the rubber ducky and everyone's like what does that mean love today at the park yeah love today at the park with tag them tag them yeah them funny about the bins and it's like what does it mean it's funny that we still kind of do that just in our it's just in a new way the etiquette has changed and it will continue to change um but let us know if you want that kind of a big group chat vibe where

we can all you can share like your kind of who you're speaking to on tinder what do i reply to this please tell me you want this because i need it your cool new skirt what you're eating for dinner you know a cool podcast that you like that isn't ours like whatever yeah you're eating yeah exactly mental health shit i also didn't know what discord was really i was kind of like what is a discord like i thought the only option was if we want everyone to chat which we obviously do okay the option is facebook it's like no no no when i heard about discord if you don't know what discord is like me i mean wing sold me on it it's like cool it's cool it's really cool it's also like the most lame thing ever but it is very cool it's like you can have different channels and it's like right okay here we're

going to talk about the boys we're dating here we're going to talk about um the girls we're dating the girls here we're going to do like yeah nice nice it's just a cool it could be really fun and i i know that there is a bit of a demand for like between you listening to find each other because you need to you're also fucking cool look we've got some great like you're probably yeah you're fucking cool listening and i know i just look we would all get along i just want us all to have rainbows and what does she say she's like we'll just bake a cake made out of our period blood and we can eat it she doesn't say anything about period blood but anyway i mean if you've sat through this episode which i really hope

well if you're listening to this you have you have i mean you're you must be in because this i mean this episode got very went in directions i never thought but and they never do wait i think we keep taking it in this real i don't want to do something fake and i know that means that people will slip off and we're going to niche down and find people but that only builds a stronger bond it's like and i'm not here to tell lies harry must not tell lies whatever she's making him say yeah exactly i must not tell lies or whatever she's made him say. Yeah, exactly. I must not tell lies. I'm not here to perform something. I think we can all get the most out of this if we're actually being really honest with one another

and like just kind to one another. Yeah. Treat people with kindness. So I'm pleased to announce that our next guest is Harry Styles. Oh my God. Should we manifest that? Could you imagine? Everyone's like screaming

harry styles in the discord you have to get on the discord harry styles just posted a picture of a tinder screenshot help harry styles just posted a picture of some avocado toast god i can't wait let's do it harry styles on the discord let's do that let's do it okay well thank you for being here thanks sephie for being here thanks wing for being here thanks for all of the real thanks thanks for all of the real combo that all of us it's a real all of us are doing this you listening you're i don't know if you knew this but you were doing something you just kind of did something when you did you just kind of did something you really really did so thank you for everything honestly everything everything it's it's really it's just nice to know that there are nice people You really did something. You really did. So thank you for... Everything. Honestly, everything.

Everything. It's just nice to know that there are nice people in the world. Do you know what I mean? It's just nice to know that there are cool girls and cool people living their lives. Yeah. Out in the world, just like us.