Good Life Project - 5 Habits That Change Everything | New Beginnings Pt 4
Episode Date: January 23, 2025As part of our New Beginnings series, unlock the power of 5 transformative yet simple habits to redesign your life in 2025.In this insightful episode, Jonathan shares potent daily practices like morni...ng hugs, breathing exercises, mindful movement, nature immersion, and present-moment meditation. Discover how establishing these keystone habits can profoundly impact your psychology, physiology, and overall well-being without willpower - making personal growth and life changes virtually effortless this year.Episode TranscriptIf you LOVED this episode:You can find the 1-page worksheet HERE.Find all of the New Beginnings: Redesigning Your Life in 2025 episodes.Check out our offerings & partners: Join My New Writing Project: Awake at the WheelVisit Our Sponsor Page For Great Resources & Discount Codes Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
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Habits, habits, habits. We have all heard that word and we know the power of habits.
And that's what we're diving into today, in particular five specific habits.
So welcome back to the fourth episode in our January series, New Beginnings,
Redesigning Your Life in 2025. Over the past few weeks weeks we have laid a powerful foundation for the year ahead.
We've created a roadmap built around the good life buckets, chosen some bold goals to pursue,
and explored how to build the confidence to pursue them, and also say yes to the tinier
things that scare us every day, but also hold the potential for magic. But here's the truth,
even the best plans and the boldest dreams can fall apart
if they're not supported by the right simple habits
and discipline to stick with them.
Most of us kind of know what we need to do to create better lives.
Exercise, eat well, nurture relationships, focus on meaningful work.
The challenge isn't knowing, it's doing consistently,
especially when motivation fades and life gets busy.
And a lot of the tools that we have talked about already this month will really help.
But today, I wanted to focus in on habits, but not just habits in general.
We've all heard many general conversations about habits.
We've had them right here on the Good Life Project podcast with people like Charles Duhigg
and Gretchen Rubin and James
Clear. Today, I want to focus on five specific transformational yet totally doable good life
habits that lead to not just powerful outcomes in your life, but also to shift in really
on the level of identity to a person who does what they say they want to do and makes things happen.
So by the end of this session, you'll have the tools to build these five life-changing habits
and sustain them for the long haul, along with practical ways to strengthen your resolve and
really just make them a part of who you are. This isn't about perfection or willpower.
It's about small meaningful changes that align with the life that you want to live.
And remember, just like all of the episodes in our January New Beginnings series, this
one is accompanied by a simple one-page, five-habits cheat sheet PDF that digests the ideas shared
in this session and offers actionable tips.
And you can find a link to download that for free in the show notes.
So grab a notebook if you want,
your favorite note-taking app, and let's get started.
I'm Jonathan Fields, and this is Good Life Project.
The Apple Watch Series 10 is here.
It has the biggest display ever.
It's also the thinnest Apple Watch ever, making it even more comfortable on your wrist, whether
you're running, swimming, or sleeping.
And it's the fastest charging Apple Watch, getting you eight hours of charge in just
fifteen minutes.
The Apple Watch Series 10, available for the first time
in glossy jet black aluminum.
Compared to previous generations,
iPhone XS are later required.
Charge time and actual results will vary.
Mayday, mayday.
We've been compromised.
The pilot's a hitman.
I knew you were going to be fun this Friday.
Tell me how to fly this thing.
Mark Wahlberg.
You know what the difference between me and yours?
You're going to die. Don't shoot him.
We need him.
You all need a pilot.
Flight risk.
What are we actually talking about when we use the word habit and how is it different from things like
behaviors or activities or rituals?
Well, habit kind of takes up a unique place in our psychic landscape of
the things that we do, right? There are things that we do intentionally, things
that we say I'm going to do this and then we go and do it. And of course there are
things where we say I'm going to do it and we never do it, we procrastinate, but
that's probably for a whole different episode. When we talk about habit, we're
talking about behaviors that happen fairly consistently, that effectively have moved
beyond the point where we think about doing it,
we're intentional in doing it,
we're very focused on doing it,
but they have somehow become pretty much automatic
in our lives.
We wake up and every day there's this thing
that we just do, we don't think about it, it just happens.
Now there's a reason that this is actually a really good thing. The more intentional, the more we
actually are using our brain to think, the more energy intensive that process becomes. So our
brain actually wants us to habitualize as much of the behaviors that we do on any given day as
possible. So from just a
saving energy standpoint in our brain, it's a really important thing. In fact, a
surprisingly high percentage of our daily activities and behaviors, they're
all habit. We don't even think about it. We don't realize that it's such a high
percentage because it happens without us thinking about it. It's completely
automated. There's a script that runs
that just makes the thing happen.
So if you brush your teeth every morning
at around the same time after the exact same sequence
of activities when you get up,
that's probably because over a period of years,
if not decades, it has become a habit.
You don't think to yourself,
oh, I'm up, I've just done X, Y, and Z.
I think I'm going to brush my teeth now. And then while I'm doing it, I'm brushing here, and I'm brushing there,
and I'm brushing up, and I'm brushing down, and I'm using this type of thing. It just happens. We don't think about it.
Now the beautiful thing beyond saving energy for our brain is
that when things that are constructive, that are healthy, that are flourishing and nourishing habits and behaviors enter our lives,
that starts to give us the sort of the long-term compound effect of doing things little and large
over a repeated amount of time that slowly start to have an impact, even if the behavior itself
that's part of the habit is pretty teeny. It makes a real difference over time. But
what about those habits? What about those things that we can turn from behaviors
into habits that just happen automatically that potentially can change
your lives without you even thinking about it and without it taking a lot of
energy? Well, that's kind of where we want to go today. And what I want to do is can change your lives without you even thinking about it and without it taking a lot of energy.
Well, that's kind of where we wanna go today.
And what I wanna do is share these five habits
that are less about complicated multi-step processes
or behaviors that take a lot of different things.
They're fairly straightforward.
And for each one of them,
I'm also probably gonna share the most basic thing.
And then I'm going to invite you to say,
well, what about this?
What if we kind of expand it a little bit?
What if we tried this?
Because I found that over time, once I plant the seed,
so that the basic behavior happens over and over
and over again, and then eventually becomes habit,
well then, I actually kind of
yearn to do a little bit more of it because I start to notice that over time it's had a really
big impact on the way that I feel, the way that I relate to myself and others, and just the general
way that I'm able to step into my life. So I'm going to invite you to explore some possible expansions of the basic
habits as well. Right? These are things that are more involved and don't easily fall within
your control, but you can slowly make them intentional in the beginning in the name of
expanding and then sort of letting them weave into that automatic habit loop that you have going.
Now if you've never heard of sort of like the basic idea of creating habits, there are
also two great books that you can read.
The sort of the original in this space and actually was, I believe, our very first conversation
that I ever recorded for a Good Life Project over 10 years ago.
We didn't air it as the first one.
I believe it was the second or third,
was Charles Duhigg, The Power of Habit,
wrote a fantastic book that researched the science of habit.
And it's actually a fairly simple,
straightforward habit loop.
A more recent treatment of sort of like the fundamentals
of building or creating a habit
or replacing a destructive habit
with a newer, constructive one, James Clear's Atomic Habits. Those are two fantastic books. They complement each
other really well. So if you're curious about sort of the behavioral mechanics of building
habits, definitely strongly recommend that you check those out.
Okay, enough of the setup. I think we all just want to dive in at this point and figure
out, well, what are these five magical habits that you're talking about?
Some of them I'm guessing you may have heard of, but I probably have a bit of a different
angle on them.
Some of them you may not have thought about at all or heard about.
And this first one may well be one of those things.
Now I call it the morning hug.
That's a bit of a simplified name for it because it does start with a very
simple behavior. But as you'll see, I'm going to invite you to expand on or modify it. And
also, I want to be sure that this is accessible to those who may not feel like they have another
being to hug or be hugged by. So what we know is that human connection and in particular touch are critically important
for physical and mental well-being.
When we have the experience of physical touch and emotional connection, and those can be
conveyed simultaneously, that can be an incredibly simple, it can literally last just a couple of seconds, but it can be a really powerful way for you to come back to a feeling of calm,
a feeling of ease, a feeling of peace, and a feeling of connectedness. And here's the
cool thing, even if there is not another person or being who is with you, and I'll share what
I mean by that, but I want to dive in because this is sort of what I would call a two-part morning hug. So my
wife Stephanie and I, we do this pretty much every morning. It has become a habit. We usually
start out by just standing, wrapping our arms around each other, closing our eyes, leaning into each other, and just hugging
for maybe five, ten seconds, feeling each other in arms, breathing and feeling our breath,
and just knowing that we are there.
We are transmitting something to ourselves, to each other in this process.
And now we know that the research shows that there is a powerful psychological and physiological thing that happens
and it only takes a couple of seconds. Now you may be thinking well that sounds like great for you
but what if I don't have that person? Well we know that almost any other being can actually give a
similar effect. If you have a pet, that's great. It's partly
about the feeling of interconnectedness that you have with another being. The other part
is literally the physical sensation of touch that gets built into this. So what we also
know is that even if you don't have another being at all, whether it's a person or a pet, you can still create your version of the morning hug.
There's a technique of self-touch
that's actually called havening.
And part of that is literally embracing yourself.
Wrap your arms around yourself.
Interestingly, you closing your eyes,
you can lie in bed, you can do it first thing in the morning,
sit up on the edge, closing your eyes, you can lie in bed, you can do it first thing in the morning, sit up on the edge, close your eyes,
take a nice full breath in,
a nice full exhale out of your mouth,
just reach arms out and gently wrap your arms
around yourself and maybe even rock for a few seconds
as you're hugging yourself,
but gentle pressure on.
That actually makes a real difference.
A morning self- self hug can be incredibly
powerful. We also know it doesn't even have to be a hug. The act of touch can be
incredibly powerful between beings. But the research also shows that even self
touch can have a powerful effect that mimics to a large extent what we feel with another
hug.
The simple act of hugging yourself or even taking one hand, placing it over your heart
or one hand placing it over your belly, close your eyes, breathe into that for a few seconds
has a very similar effect.
Now you kind of say to yourself, well, this is a little bit bizarre, like I thought it was the fact that somebody else was showing to me
that they loved me enough or some other being that they were there for me
and loved me unconditionally. It was the hug from them that made the really big
difference. That absolutely adds to it. I love the feeling of interconnectedness
that I get when I know that people in my life, whether it's my wife first thing in
the morning or my kid or a friend, and by the way I'm a hugger, some people may not be,
when I know that it's coming from them, so it's not just the physical sensation
but it's the experience of emotional connectedness. But what's fascinating to
know is that the research shows that even self hugging and self touching,
simply a hand on heart or or hand on a belly,
can have really similar effects of lowering stress,
anxiety, blood pressure, decreasing cortisol,
decreasing heart rate, and increasing oxytocin,
which is super powerful because it makes this
morning practice available and accessible
to almost anyone.
Right.
Now, that's kind of the first part of the physical side of the morning hug.
Right. Now, the second part of this.
And again, you can make this a habit,
like the type of thing where you start to do it.
You wake up, you get open your eyes, you sit up in bed and whatever it is,
whether it's another being, a pet, an animal, self, this is just the first
thing that you do in the morning. It takes a couple of seconds. Now, if you happen to be
fortunate enough to have another being in your life where you can extend the physical hug to
an emotional or attentional hug and check-in, that is something that is sort of like one of the invitations to expand this
morning habit.
Right?
So for me, very often what will happen after my wife and I do our morning hug is we'll
check in with each other.
You know, we'll just take literally a minute or two and check in.
Like, how are you?
How are you feeling?
Sometimes it's not even a verbal check in.
We're literally just sitting there emotionally and being with each other and kind of sensing
and feeling how we are observing.
How's our energy?
How are our bodies looking today?
How are our emotional states?
What are we radiating to each other?
And then often we'll kind of say like, how are you?
Literally, how are you feeling?
How was your evening?
What are you up to today?
It doesn't have to be more than a few minutes. Simply ask, how are you feeling? How was your evening? What are you up to today? Right? It doesn't have to be more than
a few minutes. Simply ask, how are you feeling this morning? Listen and acknowledge what was
shared. So this is not about solving or offering feedback first thing in the morning. That may be
welcomed, but not always. But it's more about just noticing each other, seeing each other.
Because what we know is that we are wired to know others and be known by them, even
in the smaller moments that matter.
And in fact, I would almost argue it is that smaller, seemingly innocuous passing moments
where you capture glimpse and you realize you're each observing
and truly seeing each other and thinking about each other that matter the most. Stephanie and I
often do this after the morning hug while actually walking out onto our front porch,
provided it's not freezing cold, and just have a coffee and do this for two minutes.
Years ago in a fun full circle moment, one of the very earliest conversations
we actually ever aired on Good Life Project,
that we were filming a video in the early,
I think it's around 2013, it's almost a decade ago now.
We're actually up in the mountains in Colorado.
This is back when I was living in New York.
We flew out here to do a whole bunch of conversations.
We're sitting down in the home of Brad Feld
and he was describing to me
this thing that he did with his wife, Amy, where every morning they would do their two
minutes in the morning.
And this came because in a prior relationship, in his prior marriage, he became so deeply
immersed in work, so pulled away from the relationship, so distracted that that relationship came to an end. And he really wanted his marriage with Amy to be deep and long lasting for life.
And they kind of realized that part of it means that every single morning they just
had to touch in.
So they had this morning emotional hug.
And again, in two minutes, you're not going to solve big problems.
It's not about all, it's simply acknowledging. I see you,
you're with me, I'm with you. How are you as a human being in this particular moment? Is there
anything I can offer? And then you go about your day. It seems like it would be almost inconsequential,
but it makes a genuinely large difference. Now, what if you don't have another to speak with directly or in person?
Well, if I was sharing these ideas with you two, three years ago, probably would have
been much more challenging.
But what we now know is that technology, that beautiful double-edged sword of connectedness,
now has sort of like moved everyone over the last few years to be so much more fluid, so much more native,
so much more comfortable and open and feel safety
in technological connection
that we can use that much more regularly.
So whether it's a video call or a quick phone call
or even a text, right?
Using technology to connect with friends,
family, community members. It's
fun to even create a bit of a morning hug rotation if you don't have that one
being right in front of you to do this with, right? Where you can literally do
like a video physical hug and then just check in. That same question, how are you
doing? Right? Just a couple minutes in the morning. So if you don't have that one
person with you physically present, tap technology.
We all feel so much more comfortable,
so much more at peace, and so much more fluent
with tech these days.
That has been one of the blessings
that's come out of the last few years,
that it flattens the world in terms of who you can now
do this morning hug activity with,
not just the physical part.
You might even do the physical self hug,
and then log on to FaceTime, log on to Zoom, log on to whatever your video platform is,
and just do a two-minute check-in. If it's not just with the same person every morning,
create a rotation where you can do it. It's a really fun way to make these practices expansive
and accessible. Now, what if you feel like you even don't have the ability
to do that? What if that's not easily accessible to you? Well, you can actually do your own
the same way that we know that the self-hug, the self-touch side of things actually makes
a difference. Spend a few minutes checking in with yourself? So the morning hug can be entirely self-generated
if that's what's available to you. Check in with your thoughts and journal for just a few minutes.
If you don't have the ability to journal, then audio journal or thought journal. But the important
thing is to create just a few minutes to just pause before you launch
into your day and check in and say, how am I doing today? How am I feeling today? How is my night?
Am I tired? Am I at peace? Am I energized? What do I need as I move into my morning and day?
Right? So the idea with the morning hug is we kind of have these two parts.
We have the actual physical touch part, right?
And then we have the emotional part,
the emotional check-in.
Super powerful.
That is good life habit number one,
and it's made a big difference for me.
And we'll be right back after a word from our sponsors.
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The Apple Watch Series 10 is here.
It has the biggest display ever.
It's also the thinnest Apple Watch ever, making
it even more comfortable on your wrist, whether you're running, swimming, or sleeping. And
it's the fastest charging Apple Watch, getting you 8 hours of charge in just 15 minutes.
The Apple Watch Series 10, available for the first time in glossy jet black aluminum. Compared
to previous generations, iPhone XS are later required. Charge time and actual results will vary.
Mayday, mayday. We've been compromised. The pilot's a hitman.
I knew you were going to be fun now.
This Friday.
Tell me how to fly this thing.
Mark Wahlberg.
You know what the difference between me and you is? You're going to die.
Don't shoot him! We need him!
Y'all need a pilot.
Flight risk.
Y'all need a pilot? Flight risk.
So, good life habit number two, breathing.
The breath is incredibly powerful in our ability to live good lives
and can affect our state of mind, our state of body, in a matter of seconds. So our breath, in particular, our rate of breathing, is directly connected to the state
of our nervous system. And the state of our nervous system is directly connected to the state of our
endocrine or chemistry set inside of our body. And the state of our chemistry in our body,
the all the different chemicals that get sort of like
sent out to the body largely determines how we feel.
Everything from health to inflammation to cognitive function to emotional function to
pretty much everything.
Breathing is this switch that allows us to upregulate and downregulate all of these different systems in a ripple
effect and in doing so, immediately change the way we feel.
Now I learned this very early on.
In fact, my early exposure to more conscious harnessing of breath as a way to change the
way I felt in a moment happened in a very past life when I was a lawyer in the late
90s, mid to late 90s actually, and I
ended up in a large firm in Manhattan working tremendous hours under huge amounts of stress
in a deal driven scenario where ridiculous amounts of money were on the line and we couldn't
miss deadlines.
And I would pick up the phone and be on a conversation with a client who was often breathless
with everything from urgency to anger to joy to
everything, but I started to get to a point where I just didn't want to pick up the phone,
you know, because I knew that it was going to lead to this conversation that would potentially
be adversarial and, and layer in crushing demands. And I wasn't really well equipped to handle it.
I would get super anxious. I would start to almost hyperventilate,
I could feel the stress levels almost exploding out of me
and I needed something to be able to come back down to center,
to reground fairly quickly.
And I started thinking and researching and exploring.
Now I've always been very semantically oriented,
very much about my body.
But in those particular days, I was so overworked I basically just
completely abandoned the connection between my mind and my body, which of
course we know are one seamless thing. But I started to look into different
ways to move again and came to yoga fairly quickly, but the early practice
in yoga that I came to was pranayama or breathing exercises. I started to learn that
there are all sorts of different ways to breathe. Each one of them has a very particular intended
effect on our physiological and psychological state. And the cool thing about it is that it's
almost immediate. And then I started to go deepening into the research and then I have stayed deep in
the research on the relationship between breathing and physical and mental well-being and the
volumes of research have certainly become larger and larger and larger over
those decades. And what we know is that certain types of breathing can up
regulate your nervous system or super activate it. Certain can down regulate
your nervous system or bring it down to a
much calmer, more peaceful state.
And you can kind of pick and choose the ways to breathe to be able to almost immediately
return to the state that you want.
So if you're feeling very anxious or stressed out, right, that would be your body saying,
I am in a sympathetic nervous system state, hyper activated, fight, flight, freeze, or fall.
These are all feelings that we really don't want.
So how do we get back down
to a centered, grounded place from that?
Turns out that extending your exhales
can fairly quickly bring you down into a much calmer place.
Similarly, if you're just completely zapped
and you don't have any energy,
and you feel like you need to actually
become a bit more alert and energized,
reversing that, it's almost like
shorter chest center breasts
can bring you up into that state.
Now again, whenever we're talking about breathing,
and we're talking about things
that regulate your body system,
if you have any concerns whatsoever,
any questions at all, always recommend
talk to your qualified healthcare provider
because these can have powerful effects
on your psychology and physiology.
So I have experimented with all sorts of different breaths
and my second good life habit is a type of breathing
that I have called teardrop breathing
simply because of the shape that it
formed. So for me, I will inhale for a certain amount of time, I will pause for that same amount
of time, I will exhale for double that amount of time, and I'll pause for that same doubled amount
of time. So let's say, so if we start at the bottom of a teardrop,
right, and let's say we inhale for two, and that takes us down to the bottom and then
we exhale for two or we pause for two and then we exhale for four, that's this longer
thing up top, and then we pause for four. And it forms this angular teardrop shape.
What I've done over the years is I wake up first thing in the morning, that's part of
my morning practice. It is a habit. I don't think about it anymore
It's simply what I do because I found that first thing in the morning
I wake up a maybe that weird person who wakes up without a long clock
I wake up at about the same time every day no matter when I go to bed by the way
which is not always the best thing and
what I'll do as part of my morning routine is I will do
this particular type of breathing because sometimes I'll wake up and I'll have a lot
on my mind. Sometimes my mind will be a little bit spinny. Sometimes I just feel like I want
to start my day from a very peaceful, grounded place. And regardless where my mind has been
throughout the night, whether I slept well or didn't sleep well, whether I had dreams
that were good or dreams that were upsetting, whatever's going on in my life around me, whatever I have that I know
I'm going to be stepping into during the day, I want to start my day in the most centered,
grounded place possible. So I will do about five minutes of this teardrop breathing. Now for me,
over a period of years, I have extended it out, where I've literally brought my
breath rate down to two breaths a minute. Do not recommend that as somebody out of
the gate. This was very natural and it happens to work for my physiological
state and my psychology, right? But you can start in a fairly straightforward way.
So the same way that we're doing box breathing, right? And I was saying inhale one, two, pause one, two, exhale one, two,
pause one, two. Now the teardrop version of that which extends the length of the
exhales and extends the pause after the exhale in the name of more rapidly
down regulating your nervous system, an example of that would
be something like this. Inhale, one, two, pause, one, two, exhale, one, two, three,
four, pause, one, two, three, four. So what we're doing is we're extending the exhale
and we're extending the pause after
the exhale.
Now for me, this has become an incredibly centering habit that literally I don't think
about it anymore.
This has moved from intentional thing, it's moved from experimenting to find what really
works best for me and it's moved to become a habit.
It's just what I do when I get up in the morning, right?
These are the things that I do, by the way,
before I do the morning hug, because I have some alone time
first thing in the morning.
So that is one of the things that I just immediately do.
So it's incredibly powerful for me.
So this is the second of my good life habits.
I would encourage you to experiment with your own.
If you want to really go a lot deeper into
the science of breathing and what's going around, we'll post in the show notes here. A couple years
back, we had a conversation with James Nestor, who wrote a book called Breathe, which is this
extensive deep dive into the science and the history and the techniques of breathing which is Absolutely fascinating. I strongly recommend it. So let's move on to our third good life habit and that is
movement and
There's incredible research on how moving our bodies
affects every
System, right? These are the things that we do.
It literally is this trigger that changes everything.
It makes a lot of things easier.
It makes a lot of things better.
It has almost as rapid an effect as breathing,
in my experience, in being able to up or down regulate
your nervous system, your state of mind.
And we also know that it has really powerful long-term
effects on
every system of our body, on our well-being, on our hormones, on our risk
for illness and capacity to access well-being. Now when we talk about this I
think it's also important to note that people will have different abilities
to move their bodies and that's completely okay. And it's also one of the
reasons why, you know, I'm offering different ideas, different habits,
different behaviors, different activities, because some may be more
accessible to some people and others to other people. To the extent that you can
do even one of these, It can make a huge difference.
If you have the ability to adapt and make any of these yours, then I would invite you
to think about like given who you are, given your current state, given what your body calls
for and is able to do, think about how these might work for you. So with exercise, for
example, one person may be able to do it in a completely full
body mobility way and another may be more limited, which is fine.
So you step into these imitations in a way that allows you to adapt them to whatever
is appropriate for your level of ability and access.
What we know is that when we do have the ability to move our body and at a fairly high level of intensity, it can make a huge difference both currently
in our state of being and long term in our state of well-being. We also know
that physical movement can have a really big effect on our brain, not just the
behaviors but on the physical state of our brain, that
it releases a chemical known as BDNF, which is brain-derived neurotropic factor.
And that effectively is sort of like fertilizer for growing new brain cells.
It's a very rough analogy, but it's one of the few chemicals that we know is involved
in literally generating new
cells in your brain, which was thought to be impossible in the not too distant past.
So when I think about movement and I start with the idea of thinking about exercise,
I'm asking myself, what is my body calling for?
I happen to use a device that also I get up in the morning and it's a little biohacking device.
It's a ring called the aura ring which lets me see with metrics and data.
So like how is my body doing?
And it tracks something called the heart rate variability which we know now is a really powerful measure of recovery and readiness.
And actually helps me understand how hard or not hard to push my physical body to
exercise or pull back or just relax on any human day is. So I feel like that is a really good guide
for me if you have any kind of access to those sort of metrics. I think it can be super useful,
but even if not, just close your eyes and kind of just notice how's my body feeling? What does it
need today? If it's calling to be gentle, be gentle.
If it's calling to say, like, I feel strong and alive, I'm going to push hard, then by
all means honor that as well.
Honor your current state of physical ability and also do it in a way that engages as much
of not just your physical body, but your mental body.
And it's kind of weird to say mental body,
but I really truly do believe that there's
a seamless loop between your mind and your body.
We can't disconnect them anymore.
Literally, when you move your body, it changes your brain.
But I almost feel like you almost
can't distinguish between the two at certain states.
So engage your mind when you engage your body.
And sometimes the way that we do
that is by choosing activities that by the very nature of the activity require our mind
to be in it. So an interesting example is the contrast between running on a treadmill
and running or hiking on a trail outside. On a treadmill, generally your mind checks
out. In fact, if it doesn't, you're going to become so bored because of the monotony that you'll probably quit way sooner than you wanted to.
This is why a lot of big facilities have all sorts of computers and internet and TVs and
devices to distract you from how kind of monotonous it is because the fundamental nature of running
on a treadmill for most people makes their
brain check out.
It just doesn't have to be involved.
When you take that exact same activity and you translate it to the outdoors and especially
to a trail with tons of novelty, constantly changing outdoor environments, constantly
changing ground beneath your feet, your brain must be fully engaged in the activity.
Not because you're intentionally thinking, look at this, look at this, look at this,
change this, change this,
but because the essential nature of the activity
requires your mind to be hyper-focused on it.
When your body moves,
and the fundamental nature of an activity
requires your mind to be attentionally present
on a moment-to-mom moment basis in that activity, you experience
that as play.
Play that often rises to the level of flow and that is kind of blissful.
So not only do you get this powerful state in terms of increasing health and muscle tone
and wellness and longevity and decreasing risk for disease and decreasing inflammation
and all these things in your body, but you translate what so many people dread and view
as like, oh, I have to do this thing
into something that you yearn to do and love to do.
This is one of the reasons why I hike on a regular basis here.
And I often find myself when I'm hiking, it's kind of funny.
A friend pointed this out to me not too long ago.
He was like, you know, it's literally like you're a little boy when you're out on the trail.
I was hiking and I was on the trail where there were a lot
of rocks and jagged rocks and my mind immediately went
like back to this time where it's sort of like,
okay, I'm on a mountain, the rocks are the safe place
and everything in between it is lava and you've got to like
jump from rock to rock without touching the lava.
And I was literally going down a trail, almost hopping from rock to rock on the trail, not
even realizing what I was doing because it was just so joyful.
My mind had to be in it.
The bigger message here is that movement really is powerful in so many different ways.
And if you want to elevate it to a level of play and flow and bliss, do something where
the fundamental nature of the movement requires your mind to be engaged.
It will change the game for you.
A lot of people think, well, how do I turn exercise from something I have to do, a behavior,
into a habit, something I just automatically do and I love doing?
And a big part of that transition is connecting those two things,
physical movement with attentional focus.
Not because you're telling yourself to focus,
but because the nature of the movement
requires your mind to be in it, right?
So I do this on a regular basis,
and this has become one of my powerful good life habits.
Interestingly when a couple years back we were living in New York City, even though
I had access to central parking to the Hudson River and I would find myself out there on
a regular basis, I felt like it was still a have for me.
Having access to a different physical location where I can be out in places and hiking and
in trails, literally in my backyard, where it changes it into play,
it's become a yearn, it's become a get, not a have.
I get to do this, not I have to do it.
And that has allowed me to create the habit loop and to repeat it enough times where it's
just automatic for me at this point and it's transformational.
So exercise, whatever form is available to you, we think about as a really powerful
good life habit.
But again, I want to expand this a little bit and invite you to go a little bit further.
And that is movement is not just about those, you know, 20 to 2-hour segments during any
given day where you devote yourself to quote, capital E, exercise.
It's also about how we move throughout the day. What we know now is that if we exercise
for one fairly fixed window
and then we're completely sedentary
for the rest of the time, it's not great for us.
So to the extent that you can look at the way
that you're spending your day and mobilize your workflow,
mobilize your relationships, mobilize everything,
it can make a really big difference.
So the way that I look at my workflow, for example, I
completely rewired the way that I do it to allow
myself to be much more mobile.
So whenever I have in-person meetings, and
granted, none of us did for a while, but I think a
lot of us are back to it, but even for years before,
any in-person meeting I had, you know, instead of
going to a place and sitting and talking, I would
say, meet me at this place. It was usually the coffee shop two doors down from me when I was in New
York City. We'd get a cup of coffee and we'd go walk and talk. Every conversation, I said, unless
I have to be tethered to a screen, unless you have to show me something on a screen where we have to
be doing it, we're going to be up, we're going to be outside, and we're going to be moving while we're doing it.
And that allowed me to actually break that cycle of saying, every time that I have to
be in conversation, I have to be seated in an office and sedentary.
And I'll offer you the invitation too.
If you feel like going for a walk while we're talking too, we'll do a virtual walk and talk.
And this has become my default mode to help mobilize my workflow.
So these are some invitations, right, to start to think about reimagining the way that we
were so that we can actually become as mobile as possible, so that we can interject movement
to whatever extent it is available and accessible to us, adapt it in whatever ways we need to
so that we can bring as much of it into our days as humanly possible.
So that is the third good life habit.
Let's get to those last two here.
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The fourth one is what I call nature immersion. Now, what we know is that similar to breathing and movement,
even physical touch, that nature, exposure to nature,
has a powerful effect on human beings. It also
has the ability to down-regulate or up-regulate your nervous system. It literally can affect
the level of inflammation in your body. It can affect your mood, your level of anxiety, depression.
It can affect your physiological and psychological states
in really powerful ways.
So many of us have been in nature or around nature
and thought to ourselves, I just feel good here.
We have research now that shows that you feel good
because it literally is affecting your body systems.
In Japan, there are entire forests that are designated
as what they call Shinren-yoku
forests, which translates roughly to forest bathing.
And they do this because studies have shown that when we regularly immerse ourselves in
nature, especially walking through woods, walking through trees, walking through forests,
or moving through them, even if we're doing it in an assisted way, simply being in a natural
environment can have a
profound effect on us.
Now, I know this intuitively.
When we were in New York, we lived in a place where two blocks in one direction was the
incredible Central Park and two blocks in the other direction was the Hudson River.
I love nature and water is something that has always been a part of me as well.
And I would find myself regularly in those spaces.
Sometimes it was walking around, sometimes exercising, sometimes just being there.
It changed me.
It made a huge difference.
So I have made not just a behavior, not just a commitment, but a habit of making sure that
I have nature in my life.
Now for me, we've literally moved 2,000 miles away
so that I'm immersed in the front range
of the Rocky Mountains and I have access
to incredible nature at every beat.
But you don't have to do that in order to have exposure
to nature, to plants around you on a regular basis.
Simple trees on the block.
Sit outside.
If you have the ability to do work during the day and you can do it either sitting inside
in an office or in your home office or wherever you may be, or you can be outside, whether
it's a cafe, whether it's your backyard, whether it's your front porch, whatever it may be or you can be outside whether it's a cafe whether it's your backyard whether it's your front porch whatever it may be choose the outdoor environment
because simply being outside around plants and nature and animals can make
a really big difference we don't think about it but science tells us it really
does matter the ability that you actually have to immerse yourself even more
in any kind of natural environment, say yes to it. And if you've never thought about doing this,
scan your day and think to yourself of the different things that I have on my list.
Say, do this today, in fact. Look at your calendar today or look at it tomorrow if it's the end of
the day when you're listening to this and ask yourself Okay, here are the things that I have to do
Is there a way for me to slightly tweak or shift or reimagine any of these?
So that it will allow me to be exposed to nature in any meaningful way
I could get the exact same thing accomplished, but I can do it in a way where I have more nature
in the picture.
That can be transformational, both in the moment and over the long term.
We know that the well-being effects of long-term exposure to nature can be powerful.
So I have developed a habit of regularly on a daily basis ensuring that I have nature
in my days and in my life, right?
Whether it is walking outside,
whether it is the mobilized walk-and-talks,
whether it's hiking, whatever it is.
Now we also know that even if you don't have the ability
to be outside, that simply being inside
and having windows that let you have exposure to natural environments can make a difference as well.
Fascinating research about hospitals and people who are recovering from surgery or from illness
and what it shows that in a room where one person has a window where outside they can see trees
and another person doesn't have any access to that natural light into the trees. Pain
levels are reported as lower and recovery is faster simply by having a
window that has natural light and exposure to foliage. It makes a real
difference. We also know that let's say you're working in an office or a home
office literally bringing a plant or plants into that indoor environment
where you can look at them, where
you can see them, even that makes a difference in your psychological state, which then ripples
into your physiological state.
So we have levels of exposure, of immersion in nature that we can say yes to, and when
we can't actually get out to them, we can even bring them in through the guise of a window or even
bring things into our actual internal space that can give us some of that
same effect, right? So no one is excluded from this. Just reimagine, do some
thinking. First elevate this and say this actually matters. It matters more than I
realize. There's science behind that. Now how can
I first go out into it and then how can I bring more of it inside to me? Those
things can make a really big difference. So I have a habit now of nature
immersion on a daily basis. I don't think about it. I know how it affects me. I
thought about it in the beginning until it became an
automatic behavior, but now it's just a part of what I do and the way that I live my life.
And that brings us to our final and fifth good life habit. And again, you'll see that a lot of
these start as intentional behaviors, but using the fundamental science of habit, repeating them over time in a loop
in a systematic way builds them into habit and they become automatic. Okay
number five. Now this is not going to be new for most of you but I still have to
put it out there because it has been transformational in my life.
And I absolutely did not come to it voluntarily.
And that is meditation.
Now for me, my particular practice
is something called mindfulness.
The mindfulness works on two levels.
One, as an actual dedicated practice.
This is something that's part of my morning, right? This is
the early morning when I'm doing my breathing exercises. I also do a mindfulness practice.
But the mindfulness practice has this powerful ripple effect. Over time, it starts to shift
the way that you move into your day, the way that you relate to yourself, the way that you move into your day, the move, the way that you relate to yourself, the way that you
relate to your own internal chatter, the way that you relate to other human beings, it is, it literally
infuses every part of your life and it has done so for me. So part of it is mindfulness as a practice
or a habit, but that has this long-term effect
that literally changes the quality of your being
on a persistent basis 24-7 as you move throughout your day
and your life, and in doing so, it changes the way
that you relate to the world and the way that the world
relates back to you in really powerful, generative,
and generous ways that make life so much better.
So what then is a mindfulness practice? Now there are a lot of different approaches to meditation
and I think they all have value and they affect us differently. I'm drawn to mindfulness in part
because it gives me a set of tools that allow me to be present in what I'm doing. And I'm also drawn to it because
of what led me to it. So after years of teaching meditation and teaching yoga in the past life,
my dirty little secret was that I really struggled with meditation myself personally. I could
teach it, but I really struggled to make it a daily thing in my own life until I was diagnosed
with tinnitus. It allowed high pitchpitched sound that I have in both ears.
It's actually not in my ears, it's in my brain
that my brain generates.
And in the early days, it was brutalizing me.
I didn't know what to do about it.
I happened to be working on writing a book on uncertainty
back then.
And I was researching how people deal
with the uncertainty of chronic pain and I started to
learn that there was a mindfulness-based approach to cognitive therapy that made a really big
difference in people's lives when they were suffering with chronic pain. In fact, it's even
called mindfulness-based cognitive therapy. And I started to wonder, well, could this make a
difference for me in the sound in my head?
Like if this never goes away, the thought at that time was devastating to me.
But I started to wonder, could this practice, could this ritual, could this behavior over time rewire my brain
so that if it didn't go away, I would be okay with it. That I would just be able to just sort of
keep on keeping on.
I could not imagine that would be possible
when I was in the throes of it.
I was suffering so greatly.
And still I said, you know,
there's no harm in trying this.
So, I basically started to explore the practice
and I started to make modifications.
And interestingly enough, I started to create
a blended breathing practice to down- to make modifications. And interestingly enough, I started to create a blended
breathing practice to down regulate anxiety. And I blended that with a mindfulness-based practice, which allows me to just bring my focus to my breath, let go of thoughts, let go of other
distractions, let go of the sound in my head. And it took a while, but over time, I started to realize that I was gaining the ability to not just have this
sound consume me 24-7, but actually just be there and not bother me.
And then eventually get to a place where it wasn't even though at any given moment, as
I have this conversation with you right now, if I look for it, it's there.
And less than until I'm looking for it, it doesn't really exist in my experience of life.
Right? And that is in no small part based on this blended practice of breath and
mindfulness meditation. It can really change the way that you deal with things
in life. It can make you much more present to them, much more curious about them,
much more open, and more importantly, maybe than anything else, can make you much more present to them, much more curious about them, much more open.
And more importantly, maybe than anything else, it teaches you how to identify where
your mind is focused and let go of it.
Right?
So the practice is about focusing, noticing, letting go, and then coming back to a healthy,
grounded focal point. And over time doing this was profound
to me. So I came back to it because I was trying to see if this would make a difference in my life.
But what I found was that not only did it help tremendously with my tinnitus, which exists to
this day, but I started to notice it was changing the way that I was moving into my day. I was less
reactive. I was less stressed. I was less reactive.
I was less stressed.
I was less anxious.
Now the circumstances of my life didn't change.
All the things that would have made me reactive,
all the things that would have made me stressed,
all the things that would have made me anxious,
they were all still weaving in and out of my experience.
I'm a maker, I'm a creator, I'm an entrepreneur,
I'm a founder, I'm a dad, a husband.
I'm like, there are a lot of things where the stakes are high and I care about them
and I don't have total control over the circumstances.
Those will always lead to the opportunity for anxiety, for stress, for suffering, right?
For surprise in directions you didn't want the surprise to go.
And what I found was that this practice really changed the way that I was able to relate
to all of these things. And it gave me the capacity to continue to say yes to possibility
where the stakes were high, but the information was unknown. So high stakes uncertainty plus
possibility without suffering nearly as much as I used to. And that gave me the skills to step into the mode of creation and building and service
and impact on a completely different level.
A lot of it started from me saying yes to this one technique, not because I wanted to,
but because I was suffering so greatly.
So let's talk about that seated technique for a moment.
Mindfulness, the practice itself is very simple.
The instructions are super simple.
The practice takes time.
The instructions are basically to sit comfortably, right?
Whatever it is, like, notice your body.
Now, unlike some other approaches to meditation
or what you might have heard,
there is no instruction that says
you must eliminate all thoughts and just completely clear your mind. Frankly, I don't know if that's
possible. I know it's not possible for me and I don't think I've ever met the person that can
literally do that for more than a heartbeat. What the instruction is, sit comfortably, find a place
where your physical body is able to sustain itself for a short amount of time. Whatever that looks
like for you, whatever is accessible for you, whatever the physical way of placing your body is able to sustain itself for a short amount of time. Whatever that looks like for you, whatever is accessible for you, whatever the physical
way of placing your body is, that allows you to be as at ease as you can be.
And then kind of drop your gaze a little bit.
And then the idea is to simply tune in to the sensation of your breath.
Now there are different ways to do that
that may be more accessible to people.
So for some, you can think about,
well, let me notice the sensation of my breath
as it enters my nose.
And if you have the ability to just breathe
through your nose, that tends to be more easeful.
So inhaling, you can notice,
oh, the breath actually, there's a temperature change.
It's a little bit cooler as it moves
into the tip of my nose.
And let me see how far down the back of my nose
and maybe into my throat I can actually trace that sensation.
Now as I exhale, there's a very slight warming sensation
at the tip of my nostrils
when the breath comes back out of me.
So some people find it easier simply notice it there.
Maybe you'll notice a cessation of your breath because you'll feel your chest or your belly or
your shoulders just slightly expand outward a little bit with the inhale and then slightly
release back in a little bit with the exhale. Maybe you notice it somewhere else in your body.
exhale. Maybe you notice it somewhere else in your body. But the idea is to simply go through a couple of cycles of breath and try sort of like, well, let me tune into my nose. Let me tune into my chest.
Let me tune into my belly. If it's helpful, and I sometimes find this helpful, you can even place
one hand on your chest and one hand on your belly and say like, where am I feeling like I'm breathing into the hand and I can almost sense it that way?
And the idea is that we use the breath as a bit of a light anchor for our attention.
And this is the training in directing your attention.
Now what's going to happen almost immediately within a few seconds is your mind will start
to think about something else. It will spin away from your breath. And that is a hundred percent okay. Over time, you'll start to be able to notice that,
your departure from your breath and your distraction to something else. Your mind will
start to notice that process as well. And you'll say, huh, okay, thinking or feeling or whatever
it may be and with
the next breath just bring it back to the sense of your breath.
So it's the process of focusing, noticing, like noticing when you drift away, noticing
what the self-talk is, noticing what the chatter is and then consciously dropping it, choosing
to drop it and then bringing your awareness back to the sensation of your breath
So you may repeat this literally hundreds of times in a matter of five or ten minutes and here's the cool thing
When that happens, it doesn't mean that you're not doing it or doing it incorrectly or messing up
It's just the
nature of the practice. I have literally been doing this for I believe over a
dozen years now and my mind still spins off all the time. The difference is I
tend to notice a lot faster. I treat myself gently when I do. There's no shame
or blame or you're messing up or doing this wrong. I just gently bring it back to my breath.
So this gives you the skill of noticing, of choosing where to focus your attention, choosing
how to respond to it and to yourself, and then bringing it back to where you want it
to be.
That over time is what becomes so transformative.
That is the game-changing element of this practice
because it gives you control over your attention
and allows you more control over how you respond
to wherever your attention is
and to draw it to wherever you want it to be.
I am a huge believer that in no small part,
attention is life.
Wherever your attention is, that
determines the nature and the quality of your experience of life in that moment. And if
your attention is constantly flitting all day, every day over a period of weeks, days,
months, years, decades, your whole life, that determines the nature and the quality of your entire life. So the
more you gain the ability to actually have some level of relationship and control over
where your attention is, how you process it and how you direct it, it changes profoundly
your ability to live the life that you want to live, regardless of the circumstances you find yourself in,
whether they're glorious and alive and joyful,
or really hard and challenging.
You have the ability to bring your attention
to where you want it to be.
And that is incredibly powerful.
So for me, that fifth good life habit,
which like every other thing, starts out as a behavior, it's intentional
and willful and over a period of time through repetition and reinforcement becomes an automatic
process that I just do every single morning and a habit that changes my life over time. So those
are the five good life habits, right? So we talked about being gentle with yourself
and really approaching each one of these in a way that fits you as best as it can,
honoring who you are, what you're capable of, and adapting any of these to whatever way is
most realistic and most effective for you. We started with the morning hug and remember,
we had a couple of different levels for that.
And also remember you didn't actually have to be
with other people in order to get the benefit
of doing that.
We had breathing, we had movement, we had nature
and now we have mindfulness.
These things when woven together
make a absolutely huge difference
in the way that you live your life.
Choose the one, scan that list of five,
and choose the one that feels like it would be the easiest
to step into for you.
And then just commit to yourself.
Let me actually commit to spending a minute or two minutes
or three minutes doing this every day.
Find the part of your day where it feels like it would be most natural.
Part of the habit building process is to anchor the behavior when you're doing it in the beginning
before it becomes automatic to something that happens automatically every single day.
So for example, for me, I wake up in the morning, I brush my teeth, I immediately go over to
the couch in my office and I sit and I do my breathing and my meditation.
Now I know that for me I'm anchoring it to brushing my teeth because I know I'm going
to do that habit automatic every single morning.
And the next thing that happens is meditation, my mindfulness and breathing.
And over time those three things now have just become automatic processes in my morning.
That's how I start my day. So pick the one where it feels easiest for you to say yes to it on the most fundamental
basic way.
See if you can link it to something that you do every day, just like cloud work anyway,
that becomes the trigger that sort of like sets it up.
And then commit.
Say, can I do this for a week or for two weeks?
And then push it another week and another week. And what you'll find is over time, it makes a huge difference.
And if you really want to go into the science of developing habits in general, again, two
great books, The Power of Habit and Atomic Habits, definitely check them out.
Lots of learning around that.
You don't have to do that in order to start to say yes to the five ideas that I've talked
to.
I hope you've enjoyed this, found it useful.
There will be a free cheat sheet or downloadable with all the key elements in it.
You can access that.
We'll have a link in the show notes to be able to download that.
And as always, I hope you've enjoyed this part of our new Beginnings series.
Be sure to follow the show so that you do not miss an episode of this
powerful series. I'll see you next time.
This episode of Good Life Project was produced by executive producers Lindsay Fox and me,
Jonathan Fields, editing help by Alejandro Ramirez, Christopher Carter, Crafted Our Theme
Music and special thanks to Shelly Adele for her research on this episode. And of course,
if you haven't already done so, please go ahead and follow Good Life Project
in your favorite listening app.
And if you found this conversation interesting or inspiring or valuable, and chances are
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Just copy the link from the app you're using and tell those you know, those you love, those you want
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more ease and more joy. Tell them to listen. Then even invite them to talk about what you've both
discovered because when podcasts become conversations and conversations become action, that's how we all come alive together. Until next time,
I'm Jonathan Fields, signing off for Good Life Project. The Apple Watch Series 10 is here.
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It's also the thinnest Apple Watch ever, making it even more comfortable on your wrist, whether
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And it's the fastest-charging Apple Watch, getting you 8 hours of charge in just 15 minutes.
The Apple Watch Series 10, available for the first time in glossy jet-black aluminum.
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