Good Life Project - Agapi Stassinopoulos | How to Speak to Spirit

Episode Date: January 13, 2022

When you think about the word “prayer,” does it repel you, trigger you, or draw you in? My guest today, Agapi Stassinopoulos, offers a way into this sometimes loaded word that is both inclusive and powerful, no matter your beliefs, your background, or relationship with any kind of organized religion. The type of prayer she invites us to invoke operates on a very different level. One that anyone can get behind, and find connection and solace from. And this idea, along with many specific examples, is the focus of her newest book, Speaking with Spirit: 52 Prayers to Guide, Inspire, and Uplift You.Agapi is what I like to call a walking hug. She embodies love, which in fact is the translation of her name. A best-selling author and speaker who inspires audiences around the world, after being raised in Athens, Agapi was trained in London at the Royal Academy of Dramatic Art, but then shifted direction, focusing her wisdom, words and presence away from the theatrical stage, getting her master’s in psychology and speaking more directly to the hearts and minds of people with intention of inspiring us all to live better lives. She’s authored numerous books, spoken to organizations around the world, from L’Oreal, Accenture, and LinkedIn to Google, Nike, Starbucks, Museum of Modern Art, and hundreds of others. In today’s conversation, we dive deep into what happens we muster the courage to speak aloud a hard truth, a deep need, open to vulnerability, and reconnect with something bigger than ourselves. If there was ever a time to embrace this idea, it’s now.You can find Agapi at: Website | InstagramIf you LOVED this episode:You’ll also love the conversations we had with Agapi in a prior episode that shares more of her personal story, and the experiences that have shaped her.Check out our offerings & partners: My New Book SparkedMy New Podcast SPARKED. Visit Our Sponsor Page For Great Resources & Discount Codes Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Again, I encourage all our listeners who have prayers in their hearts and have poems to just pour it out. Because in the pouring out, you'll find the pearls. Just be who you are and put words together and express what's inside of you. Because the unexpressed wants to come out and liberate us. Hey, so when you think about the word prayer, does it repel you? Does it trigger you? Does it draw you in? Well, my guest today, Agapi Stasinopoulos, she offers a way into this sometimes loaded word and practice that's both expansive and inclusive and really powerful, no matter your beliefs, your background, your relationship with any kind of organized tradition or religion. The type of prayer that she invites us to invoke, it operates on a very

different level, one that anyone can get behind and find connection and solace from. And this idea, along with many specific examples, it's also the focus of her newest book, Speaking with Spirit. So Agape is what I like to call a walking hug. The first time I met her a number of years back in New York, I opened my front door and she was standing there with arms full of boxes of Greek pastries. It was like we had always known each other for our lives. And as soon as they were put down, the next thing that happened was a giant hug. She embodies love, which in fact is the translation of her name, a best-selling author and speaker who inspires audiences around the world. After being raised in Athens, Agape was trained in London at

the Royal Academy of Dramatic Art, but then made this really interesting shift in direction, focusing her wisdom, words, and presence away from the theatrical stage, getting her master's in psychology, and deciding to speak more directly to the hearts and minds of people with the intention of inspiring us all to live better lives. She's authored numerous books spoken at organizations around the world, ranging from L'Oreal, Accenture, and LinkedIn, to Google, Nike, Starbucks, the Museum of Modern Art, and hundreds of others. In today's conversation, we dive deep into what happens when we muster the courage to speak aloud a hard truth, a deep need, open ourselves to vulnerability, and reconnect with

something bigger than ourselves. If there was ever a time to embrace this idea, it's now. So excited to share this conversation with you. I'm Jonathan Fields, and this is Good Life Project. The Apple Watch Series 10 is here. It has the biggest display ever. It's also the thinnest Apple Watch ever, making it even more comfortable on your wrist, whether you're running, swimming, or sleeping. And it's the fastest charging Apple Watch, getting you eight hours of charge in just 15 minutes. The Apple Watch Series 10, available for the first time in glossy jet black aluminum.

Compared to previous generations, iPhone XS or later required, charge time and actual results will vary. Mayday, mayday. We've been compromised. The pilot's a hitman. I knew you were going to be fun. On January 24th. Tell me how to fly this thing. Mark Wahlberg. You know what the difference between me and you is?

You're going to die. Don't shoot him, we need him. Y'all need a pilot? Flight risk. Yeah, I was thinking about last time we saw each other, which was, I guess it was early summer. I was out in LA. So we had the good fortune of being able to sneak in a little bit of time together and go for a beautiful walk. And I felt like I left our walk and within hours, it's sort of like the world started to change again. And I know people have been experiencing this sort of season

very differently for a lot of different reasons. And you and I were talking about something that I found really interesting that I haven't heard a whole lot, which is that we're all wired in a certain way to be social in different ways. I happen to be fairly introverted. I'm pretty good with a lot of solitude. You're much more fairly introverted. I'm pretty good with a lot of solitude. You're much more extroverted. You're somebody who really loves to be around people and come alive. And you were sharing that this season has been really difficult for you for a lot of reasons, but also socially, it's been challenging because it inhibits the way that you really wanted the ways that you really come fully alive.

Exactly. And you talked about this in your book so beautifully, about the personality of the performer. And, you know, I am a performer. And, you know, I was trained as an actress since I was a young girl. My joy was always to be with people and make them happy and engage and bring my joy. And I really do feel it is my God-given gift that there is this joy in me that becomes more awakened and alive when I am with people. And I think a lot of people are wired that way, and a lot of people are wired the other way. So for me, you know, Jonathan, during the pandemic, the last year and

a half, with all the variants, and we had little windows, you know, we had a very hard time, then we had the window of when we were given the choice to be vaccinated, which, of course, I chose to and become more social. And then we were back on the Delta variant. And then we had a little break and I came back to New York. And I am in New York right now. And there was so much joy to be able to go to see plays again, obviously masked and everyone vaccinated. But there was this wonderful feeling of suddenly being at the ballet after a year and a half at the theater and going to restaurants, seeing friends.

There was a sense of we had gained back something that I felt so, so deprived. And then back to this new phase. So for me, the year before time now, the year and a half, I was extremely challenged. And I was challenged to my core. I was challenged to find a new avenue. It's almost like, you know, the river flows a certain way and then the river is about to flow and then it runs against the wall and a brick wall. And then what does the river do? You just got to find a way either around the wall or go to the left or go to the right or back up and become stagnant and start to not flow.

So because I had this commitment to write this book, you know, Speaking with Spirit, 52 Prayers to Guide and Inspire and Uplift You, I had to draw inside of me a whole new muscle and find the spirit inside of me. And, you know, while I was crying and while I was throwing a temper tantrum and while all my wise friends would say, it's time to accept what's going on and it's time to surrender. And, you know, and I would go, but you don't understand, this is so painful to not be able to see any of my friends, to constantly be on Zoom, to constantly be on FaceTime. And because of that, I found a new avenue. I found a depth inside of me.

I found the deeper part of Agape, the deeper spirit that lives and breathes in all of us 24-7. And I saw how, in a way, it was a setup. It was a setup that I had to find it through these very difficult circumstances. And I had to find it in the tenderness of my spirit, in the kindness for myself, in the compassion for myself, and then make me almost like a priority to survive this difficult time and become softer inside, become kinder and softer. And the edges that were there kind of screaming and yelling, I had to comfort them.

So I think as human beings, one of the greatest gifts we can give ourselves is to learn ways to soothe ourselves. Because each one of us, Jonathan, has our struggles. I mean, obviously now all of us are in this humongous struggle of the pandemic. But before that, or even when this subsides, there is always going to be the human struggle inside. We all have it. So how do we show up for ourselves and soothe ourselves? To me, it's the greatest awareness we can have that no one teaches us at school. And I use the word soothe and comfort rather than love, because yes, we all want to love ourselves, but it's very practical. It's almost like caressing yourself in your difficult moments. And that's where, which we'll talk more about, where I found the incredible gift of prayer. Because to me, prayer became like the blanket over the wound. He became the velveteen rabbit, became the

velveteen caress over the heartache. And I'm still finding that satin velveteen caress of the prayer, which is opening the heart and bowing down and saying, Beloved, this is hard for me. I am suffering. I am hurting. I am in pain. I don't know where the pathway is for me. Please show me. And in that asking, there is an extraordinary kindness that happens because the spirit, the universe, the source, whatever we call it, Jonathan, is loving, is loving, is sweetness. At least that's how I experience it. And that's why I wanted to pour that in this book, because I know that place intimately. I'm not always there. I don't always find it, but I know it exists. And I think for all of us to call ourselves forward, to say, my friends, let's go there. I know it's an interesting moment in so many ways

and a challenging moment in so many ways for you to sit down and spend a huge amount of your time over these months working on a book. A lot of folks have been struggling to feel like they are able to access something deeper, to create, to generate in this moment in time. And I remember you describing to me the process of this book being different, almost like it's being channeled through you. Yes. Yes.

And I'm curious, I want to get into a lot of the ideas, of course, but you as somebody who has spent a lot of time writing numerous books, who's been on stage, when you sit down to write a substantial work in a moment like this, how was the process different for you? Well, first of all, I want to share with our listeners that I have found my miracle way of writing. And that came to me mostly during Unbinding the Heart, which was my, I've written five books, The Gods and Goddesses, The Goddesses. Unbinding the Heart was my first book of this chapter of my life, sharing my heart and my story and my truth. And then Wake Up to the Joy of You, my fourth book,

and then this one now. And when I was writing Unbinding the Heart, I discovered the way that was easier for me to write is because I'm a storyteller. I would find a person who was very soulful and very compatible and resonant with me, almost like a friend. And I would embrace them. And I would say, listen, I want to tell you my story, or I want to tell you this happened to me. And I would, I dictate it and the person just writes it. Now what happens in that moment, I could be walking up a street and dictating. I could be sitting in a cafe. Sometimes I dictate in my

iPhone or I dictate in the app in the computer, but I prefer to be with a person because I receive their acceptance or their receptivity. And that makes me go deeper. And I absolutely do not censor myself at all. I just pour it out. And then I take these words that I've just poured out and I print them. And before you know it, I had chapter after chapter after chapter. And then, of course, the sitting down and editing and with an editor first by myself and then the editor and then the second edit and the third edit, as you know, the fourth edit. But the first initial birthing of my books are given out

as I'm like an orator or like a Homer, you know, I'm an orator. And I speak it. And the thought of sitting down and writing in the computer, it almost blocks my neural pathway, my brain. And if I write at night, I write my prayers or poems at night before I go to bed, I use a pencil that I love and a beautiful journal. So that's pen and paper. And I encourage everyone, and I have a whole page in the book where I say, please, pen and paper connects the soul and the brain and your heart. There's

something magical that happens with pen and paper. It's not the computer. It's not the technology. And all the mystics and all the great poets and the great writers, the Shakespeare's and the Balzac's and the Thoreau's, they all all pen and paper or fountain pen and paper. So there's something magical about that. And you've got to give yourself permission to just go there. And you've got to put your critical mind on hold. And I absolutely have now learned that because now with this new, you know, it's my fifth book, as I said, I just had to completely learn to go there into my tender parts. And the prayers of this book, there are 52 prayers, Jonathan, are absolutely given to me because honestly, I did not edit. I edited the chapters, but the prayers were completely unedited. And my niece the other day, because we just received the book,

was reading them. And I went, wow, these are so beautiful. Who wrote these? I mean, it's almost like you go, thank you, spirit. I'm very humbled that the spirit in me gave them to me. And I was listening. I was really listening. And you know that process when you just listen very carefully and boom, it is given to you. the beneficiary of this book as much as other people who are going to be reading it because it enriched me and taught me that that place of the prayer, of the solace and the soothing and the comfort of the prayer is as real as the rational linear mind, as real as anything we're

going through. Yeah, I think a lot of us have felt that, but not a lot of us allow it when we feel it. And you described the process as you don't censor when you just let it come through you. And I feel like so many of us actually do have access to that, but when we feel it coming, the immediate impulse is to, in some way, in real time, try to figure out what has worth, what doesn't, what needs to change, what should be allowed through. We set up these gateways and we censor on multiple levels of censorship. And then very little ends up getting through, especially these days, because so many people have this standard of perfection where if it doesn't come through and sound like it is fully formed and exactly as it needs to be, we don't allow it to even enter our consciousness and then become data

for us to then work with and apply the craft to so that it becomes the final thing, actually feels worthy and good and aligned with what we have in our head, that level of taste and expression that we have in our head that we feel comfortable sharing with other people. I think you absolutely nailed it. I think you said it's the perfection of the, actually the ego traps us and says, this is not good enough. Because underneath all of us, we have this judgment of ourselves as not being good enough. And, you know, I always say the truth of the matter is that none of us are good enough. I mean, in the personality and in our limited ways of being, but in terms of who we are in our essence, in our soul, in our divinity, in our divinity. And I mean by that, when you look at this incredible

miracle of life that we carry, we are beyond perfection. We are a miracle. You know, you just stop and think of your breath and take a conscious breath and you go, my God, who is breathing me? As Rumi said, you know, who is digesting my food? Who made my hair? Who moves my body? I mean, there's only one little thing that happens that goes wrong with your body and suddenly you're down on your knees realizing how miraculous this structure that we are living in is and how can we honor it and

take care of it. And I think, unfortunately, we all have to unlearn more than learn because we have to unlearn and unravel this notch this straight jacket that we've put ourselves in and i again i encourage all our listeners who have prayers in their hearts and have poems you know and to just pour it out because in the pouring out you'll find the pearls. It's your soul. We'll give them to you. This is not, not all of us have to be Shakespeare or, you know, or Keats or John Donne or Yeats. We can just be who you are and put words together and express what's inside of you because the unexpressed wants to come out and liberate us.

And more than anything, my prayer during this time, Jonathan, again with this epidemic spiraling up again, every night I pray, let me live in the freedom of my spirit and not in the restrictions of the limitations that are being put upon us. Let me not restrict my freedom and my joy. Let me keep on alive that part of me that is alive and not fall in the judgments or the perfections or the disappointment or what else? What else do we fall in, you know? And it's a prayer. And I pray every night. And I wake up feeling different. If you're at a point in life when you're ready to lead with purpose, we can get you there. The University of Victoria's MBA in Sustainable Innovation is not like other MBA programs. It's for true changemakers who want to think differently and solve the world's most pressing challenges.

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Tell me how to fly this thing. Mark Wahlberg. You know what the difference between me and you is? You're going to die. Don't shoot him. We need him. Y'all need a pilot. The Apple Watch Series 10 is here. It has the biggest display ever.

It's also the thinnest Apple Watch ever, making it even more comfortable on your wrist, whether you're running, swimming, or sleeping. And it's the fastest-charging Apple Watch, getting you eight hours of charge in just 15 minutes. The Apple Watch Series X, available for the first time in glossy jet-black aluminum. Compared to previous generations,

iPhone Xs are later required. Charge time and actual results will vary. I know you actually, you have this perfectionism prayer in this new, in your book. Yes, I was actually looking for it. If you have it handy, I would love if you would share that with us. Yes, and it is, let me find it in the, there we are, the imprisonment of perfectionism. It's chapter 18, page 118. And I love that, that prayer.

The imprisonment of perfectionism. And it starts like that. What would your life be like if you gave up your ideal of perfectionism? Whatever it looks like for you. That, in essence, is liberation. So let us pray. Dear beloved, I see how my desire for things to be perfect and harmonious is costing me my well-being, my freedom, and my peace. I recognize the deep fear within me that if I let go, relax, and let things be as they are, sometimes messy and unpredictable, as life mostly is, everything

will fall apart, including me. I understand that my perfectionism was born out of a need for survival at a certain time in my life, when I believed that if I was perfect, I would control a world that in my childhood was out of my control. If I was perfect, I would be okay. I ask for a deeper and higher sense of presence, calm, and divine perfection of each situation so that I may make unconditional love more important than anything. In truth, I don't know how to do this. The most I can do is admit that my perfectionism is preventing me from living fully in my joy. I ask now to let go of how I think things should be so I may elevate my consciousness and see the perfection in how things are. After all, there are so many things over which I have no control.

So what is the point of fighting? Release me from my resistance to reality and allow me to find inner balance and inner perfection and not expect to find it in the outer world. May I experience more gratitude in the midst of turmoil and give myself the space to release my judgments of myself that tell me I'm not enough and turn my attention instead to the beauty to be found in life's imperfections. I exhale and I experience the unbinding of the ties that have closed me in.

And now I can let myself really breathe and be in my perfect divine expression. So be it. So beautiful. Thank you for sharing that. You know, it also brings up something that you speak about, which is, you know, on the one hand, we have this tendency towards perfection and you have this, you shared this beautiful offering. Sometimes we will literally judge ourselves for the way in which we pray, in the way in which we pursue our spiritual side. I mean, you describe this phenomenon of not

just material perfectionism, not just like this thing I'm working on, this business, this relationship, whatever it is. It's not exactly the way I want it to be. But even the notion of how we exist as spiritual beings, you describe it as spiritual perfectionism. We create this overlay in that context that gives so much more weight to the way that we live. Exactly. And that's because we have this image of what it is like to be a spiritual being, you know, and that if you're spiritual, for example, you know, you don't get angry and you don't get jealous and you don't get down. And we judge ourselves because we have to be lofty, you know, and really, who put that in there?

I mean, we are human beings and we have the garment of emotions and we have the dark and the light. And that's why, you know, it is so sweet, Jonathan, to see, to listen. I'm sure, you know, you have your beautiful daughter when, you know, when she was little, how she prayed, you know, and how we all prayed when we were little. We would have conversations with invisible beings, whether it is our fairies or our God or our animals. But we live in this in between worlds, between the material world and the imaginary spiritual world, which are very close, actually, because where we're all challenged is that, you know, we start to talk about God and the divine and we do not see it. We do not feel it.

We do not touch it. We do not. We know it intuitively. We get a sense of it. I mean, I pray and I use this prayer about the light a lot. And I like you, you know, I'm a meditator and I call in the light and I call in the presence and I feel the presence. And then when I am in my need to bring a greater solace or comfort or balance in my life, to just ask. And that's why in these prayers here, I say I have a quick fix for God.

You know, like I'm in turmoil right now. Please show me how is there another way? How can I shift? And it's like you're asking from a place of vulnerability and openness. And most of my prayers start by really totally facing and expressing where you're at. And you don't have to show up with your Sunday best. You show up in your most nakedness. And listen, we've all seen, I mean, I've saw both my parents pass. And you know, when people are in this late stage of their lives, and they are close to dying, it is the most naked, vulnerable, and yet transcendental experience, because the body is starting to give in, and then you feel the spirit

and the presence. And I have story upon story in this book as well about these profound experiences of my parents dying and transcending. So why not give ourselves that exquisite vulnerability of our open heart and being like a child, allowing ourselves to ask whatever the words. The words almost don't really matter, you know. They don't matter. But they do come and they do land at places where they can unlock locked places. There's this beautiful prayer of a monk, you know, that he's in a monastery and he's asking God, what can he do to serve him more?

He said, can I feed the hungry? Can I plant more trees? Can I go serve the the pool how can i serve you more because i love you so much the monk is saying and he hears this inner voice saying shut up and let me love you so in a way you know we we have to come very silent and let ourselves be loved. Wouldn't it be nice if we all let ourselves be loved, Jonathan? Yeah, I mean, it takes a profound act of vulnerability. I remember hearing once that three of the hardest words for any adult to say is, I don't know. And it was actually research from a behavioral economist who was sharing, like they actually did the research and it was

profoundly difficult for any of us to stand in a place of nakedness of just saying, I just don't know, you know, in almost every context in life. And yet that is the very place that you're sharing where we come closest to however you want to describe it. And maybe this is a good moment for us to talk about this also, right? Because I know you're somebody who, you know, is very steeped in faith, is very steeped in spirituality. You have been for your entire life. You're brought

up around it. But we're going to have many people listening to this conversation who don't have that background and who don't have an understanding of any notion of spirit or God or universe or whatever this sensibility is. And I would love your take on, because my sense is that when you're talking about these, these concepts, and when you're talking about the notion of prayer, it's not limited to the traditional notion of religion. It's not, you're not excluding anybody from this practice. Yes. Well, that's, that's why I wrote this book. It was so beyond denomination. It was, you know, a prayer for losing weight, for example. I mean, it was just beyond religion, because religion, God-blessed religion, has limited us and has made us separate from each other. So I go, let's put it,

if you're religious and you pray, perfect, wonderful. We honor you there. But let's take the people who might not believe, the people who want to believe, but they don't know who to believe to. Let's take the people who are, you know, meditators or do hours of yoga. And here's my question to anybody who is listening to this conversation with my dear friend Jonathan. And I want to ask you to take a moment, maybe now or maybe when we finish the podcast, and ask yourself, when I was young, when I was a child, what was my first recollection of God? How did I relate to God?

Who was God? What was the mystical? What was the divine? What was God, the experience with God? And everyone I ask has an experience of a memory of them as a child being connected. Do you have a memory, Jonathan? You know, I was just thinking that as you were asking the question. So here's the way that my mind responds to that. When the word God is in the sentence, my immediate knee-jerk reaction is, no, I don't have a memory. But if I then, if I give myself permission to change the word, because I was brought up in a household where I was raised Jewish, but completely not in a religious way, more in the traditions of Judaism. You know, we went to temple twice a year on the high holidays. But barring that, we really, it wasn't a part of my life. But if I substitute in the notion of where do I have a sense of awe, of being a part of something bigger than me, of vanishing into

some broader energy that made me feel connected, tapped in in some way. And maybe I wouldn't have used that language as a kid. Yes. Yes. For me immediately. Yeah. I have, I have a flurry. I can tell you like where I can tell you where I was in the woods. I can tell you, you know, that there was a moment, you know, where I would, at the end of my block as a kid, I grew up on the bay and whenever I needed to touch stone, to touch whatever that thing was that let me feel okay, I would walk to the end of the block. When nobody was there, I would climb up on top of the lifeguard house.

When nobody was around, I'd wrap myself in a jacket on a cool fall day, and I would just sit there looking at the ocean and letting that cool breeze run over me. So if I change the word and I just, and I try and just get in touch with the sensation, I have plenty of, there's so many different examples of that. I think you just absolutely described it so beautifully. And that's how I describe it in the book. It's like whatever God is for you. And it's really being, being in touch with something larger than yourself. And, and there's this great phrase that I use, which is, God is not a being, it is a state of being.

And it is a state of being that we all have 24-7. And yours became awakened when you were in the breeze and in the cool air and you moved in from your everyday linear existence to something magical at that moment, to something where you felt connected. And that's the thing that each human being, I promise you, every human being knows that place. And why do we know it? Because we are connected.

Otherwise, we wouldn't be alive. So if you give yourself permission to say, oh, that place. Okay, can I commune with that place now? Can I amplify it? Can I solidify it? Can I bring it to my awareness every day? Can I make a practice where this becomes more of my daily existence, of my habit, rather than me, because, you know, I'm tired of me. I mean, the me, it's tiring. The me always complains or wants or people don't do

things the way I want them to. And you want to control and you're anxious and you're fearful and you're worried. And you have a hundred things in your to-do list. And it's like, it's tiring to be you, to be us, basically. It's tiring. So when you let go of this, and for me, you know, when I was a young girl about in my, I was 12, I think, and my parents separated, I was in a lot of angst and pain. And I would lie in my bed and I would pray. But I didn't quite know who I was praying to. I would just ask for help. And I always felt this velveteen hand over my hand caressing me. It was the most extraordinary thing.

And then over the years, I discovered my spirituality and I discovered the, you know, I opened up to my own soul and my own spirit. But it's a daily process. You know, it's just like what I want to encourage our listeners is that I'm sure you have experiences. I'm sure you have your practice. You have times where you doubt or you don't know, and that's all okay because beyond all that, there is the connection that is so real. And in the silence at night when we go to sleep,

in those moments or being in nature or, you know, walking in the street and just allowing the reverence. I just, it's really like when we're in service to someone else, when you're holding a baby, my God, you just feel enveloped in the presence. You know, even when you change their diapers, you feel enveloped in the miracle. So, you know, I have this story in this book of a young girl who was at a dinner one night and she was going through a very hard time she was um she had lost her job and her mother wasn't well and her boyfriend of seven years left and and she was like hit in every

level and ariana my sister said to me why don't you pray for you know know, Jennifer? Let's say her name was Jennifer. And I go up to her and I said, Jennifer, do you ever pray? And she said, I don't know who to pray. Who do you pray to? And that's a question I get asked a lot. Who do you pray to? And I said, well, for a start, let's pray to your 36 trillion cells who are making you right now and you have nothing to do with it. And I took her hands and I said a prayer for her

with my heart, you know, and I always encourage people to pray for each other. And I said, let's ask for the light in you to come and show you new ways. And out of this, you'll rise like a phoenix and you will find new pathways. And whatever the words were, she started to cry. I mean, she kept sobbing and all the pain came out. And then she said to me, nobody has ever done that for me. Well, you know, it's been four years since that happened. And this woman has completely reinvented herself. Because I feel we all have that in us.

And praying for other people is so incredible. I know, you know, we didn't pray before we started this, but we are praying in a way beyond the words. But I pray before podcasts. I pray before meetings. I pray when I'm sitting to dinner with my family. We pray evoking. It's really like demystifying the word prayer and say evoking our wishes. In Greek, prosephi means towards your wishes, towards your wishes.

And we all have wishes daily. What are your wishes right now, my friends, as you're listening? Whatever your wish is, you would like more strength. You would like more confidence. You would like to be more financially independent. You would like to be more creative. Would you like to feel more included with other people? Would you like to be able to express how you feel to your significant other?

Would you like for your kids to be more connected to you? Sit down and ask for that and say, I ask, I ask right now that my heart softens and all the love that I have and any resentment that I have be released. I ask to release that because we hold on to resentments and we hold on to disappointment. I have a whole chapter about my disappointments. And when you say, I'm willing to let it go, I don't want to carry my, you know, yesterday's disappointment

or two years ago in my heart. I let it go right now. And I ask that that spirit come and give me and renew me, renew my enthusiasm, renew my day. So tomorrow I don't wake up piling up to today. Another poem, which I call them poems, but they're really prayers. But I just so love that you address that, Jonathan, about the people who say, who do I pray to? Well, look, someone is praying inside of you for you because he's breathing you. So pray to that one.

Yeah. You pose a question in the book. What would your life be like if you gave up everything that is holding you back from experiencing your fullness and aliveness of your spirit, which I think really speaks to this idea. Yes. Yes. And each one of us has the script in our heart, in our hands. And that's why I encourage people to write and to open up to that spirit. And there's nothing like speaking it and writing it and not judging it and giving ourselves permission to go there. You know, and it is vulnerable. It's vulnerable when you hear yourself speak your prayers.

But, you know, if anything, this pandemic has taught us is that we are also unbelievably vulnerable. And to pretend that we are not, to pretend that we know everything and we are in control is a mockery, because we don't. Whether you're in your running era, Pilates era, or yoga era, dive into Peloton workouts that work with you. From meditating at your kid's game to mastering a strength program, they've got everything you need to keep knocking down your goals. No pressure to be who you're not, just workouts and classes to strengthen who you are. So no matter your era, make it your best with Peloton. Find your push. Find your power.

Peloton. Visit Peloton at onepeloton.ca. The Apple Watch Series 10 is here. It has the biggest display ever. It's also the thinnest Apple Watch ever, making it even more comfortable on your wrist, whether you're running, swimming, or sleeping. And it's the fastest charging Apple Watch getting you 8 hours of charge in just 15 minutes.

The Apple Watch Series X available for the first time in glossy jet black aluminum. Compared to previous generations iPhone XS or later required charge time and actual results will vary. Mayday, mayday. We've been compromised. The pilot's a hitman. I knew you were going to be fun. January 24. Tell me how to fly this thing. results will vary. And you also, you note that literally the act of opening up to our creativity itself is a form of prayer.

And when I read that, I was really thinking about that because I was wondering started to really see the parallels that, yes, this is, interestingly, because it seems like the way that you describe prayer, everyone, it starts with acknowledging the truth of where you are at this moment in time, whether you want to be there or not. Yes. And then opening yourself up to just seeking you know, like seeking help, seeking inspiration, seeking collaboration, whatever it may be. And there's, there is this, there's a very similar parallel script that happens in the act of creation and creativity. Yes. And, and, you know, you can find your creativity, you know, making scrambled eggs.

I mean, you don't have to write the sequel to Iliad or Spark. I mean, you can find your creativity in organizing your drawers. You can find your creativity in the way you walk. There are a hundred ways to walk down the street. You can find your creativity in making the best cup of coffee. And then out of that, see what else comes. You know, I do have, I just going to read a little bit of this prayer, you know, because a lot of times people say to me, I'm stuck. I don't feel creative. I'm stuck. And it's a, it's a difficult place to be. I mean, I'm very grateful that this book, I was able to pour it out because honestly, when I made the proposal and then I, you know, we sold it to wonderful, my wonderful publishers that I love, Harmony from Penguin. And then I went, oh, my God, what am I going to write now?

And it's like this moment of, I don't know what I'm going to write. And it's like a panic. And that's where the trust comes in. It says, well, you don't have to write a whole book. You just write one story. That's it. That's what I really taught myself to do that. Just write one story and one prayer today.

And tomorrow, write from what's real for you today. You know, and I say here, opening up to your creativity is a form of prayer. You allow yourself to go beyond your personality, your ego and your judgments and crack the door open to your soul. So go for it. What do you have to lose other than maybe a protected self image? Do you want to go through your life living in this limited image or do you have to lose other than maybe a protected self-image? Do you want to go through your life living in this limited image or do you want to find the expanded version of yourself? The expanded version of yourself meets you when you dare to open the door. And I won't read the

whole prayer, but basically the prayer goes, Dear Beloved, I ask now that I may allow my expression to flow freely. I ask that I may trust myself to bring forth whatever I hear inside, to follow my creative paths, to withhold nothing, and to trust that I will be given the guidance to bring forth what is mine to bring forth. I ask to suspend all judgments and all criticism and not second-guess myself, but simply allow my process. I ask that I may give myself permission to not know the whole picture or the whole outcome. I give myself permission to take every step as it is present in the day and to trust that the pieces will unfold and will be revealed to me. I ask that I may be connected to my source, know that I am a creative being and not compare my expression to

anyone else's. I release myself from any self-imposed pressure and I allow my own rhythm to unfold, to do this as an offering back to the life that is given to me and to the uniqueness that is mine to live by. I allow my divine inspiration, no matter how small my contribution, I do not judge it as insignificant because every garden and in every orchard, it's the tiny little flowers that make up the whole. I'm excited to see what unfolds and experience the gift of my creativity. So be it. You know, and again, you know, it's like allowing the place where we're stuck and say, this is where I am and it's okay. But you look at the prayer in a way, it's like the leverage that shifts you to another, that lifts you up. You know, that is the Paul Volta, they call it in the sports,

you know, Jonathan, that holds the big, you know, that flies over the barrier. And I like this metaphor here that I say, think of prayer as your favorite kite with a string wrapped around the spool that you're holding in your hands. You are the one that releases the string for the kite to fly. When you're flying a kite, the wind can take you in many directions, in the same way your emotions and your thoughts and whatever you're going through in your life can sway you from one direction to another until you steady yourself, until the kite, the wind, and you become one. Then you can fly as high as you want. Beautiful. You know, when I think about prayer, and we describe it in so many different ways, and even in the context of creativity and spirituality, there's another sort of way into a lot of what we're talking about. And you write about it, and it's journaling, which I know has been a part powerful in a lot of ways. The first is what worked. And then what would I like to bring more of into my life? And then what does the Spirit have to say to me?

Oh, yes. And I almost feel like this is directing us because we brought up the question, who do I pray to? But then another question I imagine for a lot of people is, what are the topics? What do I pray about or for? Or like, where do I focus it? And what we're really asking when we ask that is, what domains, what areas of my life am I willing to stand naked in and be open to and then look for guidance and also change? And these three questions I thought were really valuable in that context. but then tomorrow I want more of that and you claim it and then you go quiet and you say spirit speaks to me. I had a whole workshop that I did once and the phrase that we all used was you know spirit speaks to me and it is profound because your spirit, your living, breathing spirit in you wants to communicate to you.

And in the moment, and the spirit might just say something so practical. It might just, you know, say, drink more water before you go to bed or drink less water before you go to bed because then you go to the bathroom too much. It's like the spirit is not out there. The Spirit can be very practical. The Spirit is very practical and it will mentor you. And I was doing a podcast the other day with a beautiful mother-daughter and the daughter said, oh my God, I just got it, that God is really inside of me. So when I'm praying, I'm really praying to a wiser part of me. And it was so sweet how she

suddenly had this awakening because the kingdom of heaven is within. I mean, every religion in a way has hammered that down. The kingdom of heaven is within. So when we're praying, we're really accessing another vibration in ourselves, a quieter vibration, wiser vibration. It's extraordinary. And to think that most of us live with this treasure of our soul, but we never really open up the gate. Well, we sometimes we open up the gate, but most of us are keeping it dormant, you know. And so I had such passion in sharing in this book

that open the gate. You don't have to be anything than you are and find the treasures and if you do please let me know I'm going to give you my email agape at unbindingtheheart.com agape at unbindingtheheart.com and as you read this book and as you uncover a truth

it means so much to me if you would share it with me and share it with Jonathan and say, God, I just realized that in opening that I was given the solution I was looking for. I was given the inner guidance where to go in this direction. And it is so sweet when we start to partner with, for a lack of a better word, God. I mean, you just said it. God is so limiting and it has so much charge for so many people. But if you find out another word, please let me know. Because if I ever tattooed anything in my forehead, what it would say is God is my

partner. And when you open up and you realize that that spirit in us is our lover, is our beloved, is the one who comforts us, who soothes us. And if you dare to go in the fading of that and go there often till it becomes the familiar voice. And in the middle of your meetings, you could be sitting in a meeting with people and suddenly you hear this voice that says, you know, that person across from you is having a heartache about something right now. Talk to them afterwards. And your heart hears their heart. And you go up to them and you say, I just wanted to ask, is everything good with you? And how is your life?

Or you open up your heart and the person suddenly says, well, I'm having a hard time. My mother was diagnosed with cancer. Or my father is in hospice. Or, you know, it can be hundreds of things that people are going through, but they don't express them. And to me, that is prayer with someone else because the Spirit guides us because we've made ourselves available to Spirit. I mean, there's nothing more profound than that. Make yourself available. It sounds like you are describing prayer as really just the experience of making yourself available to spirit.

Available to spirit. Exactly. Whatever words you want, however you want to structure it and phrase it, it's the deeper notion that you describe as it really. Yeah. I mean, so many people say, you know, when I sing, I feel the spirit in me. You know, how many people, I mean, and again, you don't have to be Pavarotti. You can just sing in the kitchen, you know, you can sing to your family.

I knew a family where the father sang the prayers for dinner every time, you know, and the kids used to make fun of him. But how beautiful is that? You know, Kabir says, when you really look for me, you know, the mystic poet Kabir, Kabir and Rumi and Hafiz, the mystic poets, he says, when you really look for me, you will see me instantly. You will find me in the tiniest house of time. Kabir says, student, tell me what is God? He is the breath inside the breath. We are in a moment where I think we all need to reconnect with the breath inside the breath. Yes. I know you also, we've had conversations about this and you're right about like we are, humanity is in a moment of what you describe as spiritual crisis.

Yes, yes. And coming into the reverence of life and each one of us honoring our life and being more compassionate, more loving to ourselves and to each other is so essential, Jonathan, right now. Because, and we don't have to define spirituality. Spirituality is really kindness and loving and listening, listening to each other and embracing all parts of ourselves and the fragility of life. And I keep saying and writing about it. And as you write about it, it becomes real and it becomes significant. And you realize that you matter. You, each person that is listening to this and each person that we come in contact,

each one of us matters. No one matters more than another and no one matters less than another. And, you know, my dedication to when I was thinking who to dedicate the book and my prayer was to the spirit that lives in all of us with a prayer that we will remember our oneness. And I think the greatest pain that we all suffer from is the pain of separation. And it's separation from each other, but it's more separation from self. So again, opening the gate with the prayer is healing the separation and realizing that the one that breathes us and is with us, the one that our maker, whatever the source, the universe,

is completely in connection with us every day, 24-7, 24-7. So, you know, open up the gate and share with us. I love listening. I'll give you my email one more time, agapi at unbindingtheheart.com. I also have a lot of meditations that I send out. And the book is also an audio that you can download and listen to it. But let's go deeper. Let's go deeper. This is the time to go deeper. And if it is hard to go deeper, call on someone that has gone deeper and ask them to mentor you and to pray for you, meaning to ask

that the spirit in them can awaken the spirit in you. And that's what I pray for, you know, that, you know, and as you go to sleep at night, just ask spirit, wake me up, wake me up in the morning, wake me up in my daily life so that I live in solidity, that I don't feel wobbly, I feel solid. Isn't that a wonderful feeling to feel solid in your life? It's beautiful. It feels like a good place for us to come full circle in our conversation as well. Well, I just wanted to say how much I just appreciate you and love you and all you stand for, Jonathan. To me, I've seen your work, I've seen these beautiful camps that you used to put together and how incredible that spirit was so

alive in these camps because you and Stephanie just held that safe space of tenderness and vulnerability and humor and joy. And to me, that whole event that I experienced with you was a living prayer. I mean, there was everything, the community and the love and the sweetness. And I just pray that we'll have them again. What do you think? I'm right there with you. We're looking forward to the moment where we can.

So I've asked you this question once before as we end our conversation, but I'm going to ask it again because we're like living human beings that change over time, especially over this recent time. If I offer up the phrase to live a good life, what comes up?

To live a life that every day I learn to be more connected, more loving to Agape, more compassionate. I get to know more of my spirit and my soul and I have a good time with others and I open up to embrace and have break bread or Greek food with others and have this fellowship with the ones I love. And for me to live a good life is not to dwell in worry, not to dwell in the future, not to dwell in what if happens so this doesn't happen, and not to dwell in anxiety, and more than anything, to be healthy. Because there's nothing like your health and your well-being. Because once you have health, you can open up the gates and be generous 100%. Let your heart pour out unconditionally. As my mother used to say, it's an offering, not a trade,

where your heart and your givingness is an offering and not a trade. I'll do this, what will you do for me? But it's more like it gushes out, you know, like a waterfall, and the spirit gushes out. And that's for me, it's a good life. Thank you. Thank you so much. Thank you so much. And looking forward to continuing this conversation in our lives with everyone here. Thank you to all of you for listening and embracing this work. And I just so honor and support what you're doing and all the good you're bringing, Jonathan. Hey, before you leave, if you love this episode, say that you will also love the conversation we had with Agapi in a prior episode that really shares a lot more of her personal story, how she grew up and all the experiences that have formed and shaped her and her lens on life.

Really excited to share that episode. You'll find a link to Agapi's earlier episode in the show notes. And of course, if you haven't already done so, go ahead and follow Good Life Project in your favorite listening app. And if you appreciate the work that we've been doing here on Good Life Project, go check out my new book, Sparked. It'll reveal some incredibly eye-opening things about maybe one of your favorite subjects, you, and then show you how to tap these insights to reimagine and reinvent work

as a source of meaning, purpose, and joy. You'll find a link in the show notes, or you can also find it at your favorite bookseller now. Until next time, I'm Jonathan Fields, signing off for Good Life Project. The Apple Watch Series X is here. It has the biggest display ever. It's also the thinnest Apple Watch ever, making it even more comfortable on your wrist, whether you're running, swimming, or sleeping. And it's the fastest-charging Apple Watch,

getting you eight hours of charge in just 15 minutes. The Apple Watch Series X. Available for the first time in glossy jet black aluminum. Compared to previous generations, iPhone XS are later required. Charge time and actual results will vary. Mayday, mayday. We've been compromised. The pilot's

a hitman. I knew you were gonna be fun. January 24th. Tell me how to fly this thing. Mark Wahlberg. You know what the difference between me and you is? You're gonna die. Don't shoot him! We need him! Y'all need a pilot? Flight Risk.