Good Life Project - Agapi Stassinopoulos: In the Presence of Love.

Episode Date: July 3, 2017

Guest: When Agapi Stassinopoulos walks into a room, you know you're in the presence of love. Her name, in fact, translates to "love." She is a sought-after speaker, teacher and a best-selling author of multiple books, the latest being Wake Up to the Joy of You: 52 Meditations and Practices for a Calmer, Happier Life.Story: Training at the Royal Academy of London, Agapi wanted to build a career in performing arts. But it seems the universe conspired to create a different path. Struggling to find her way on the stage and screen, she changed direction and instead pursued a Masters in psychology, seeking to inspire and elevate people not by taking on the persona of other characters, but by taking the stage as herself and sharing her own, very personal stories, ideas and wisdom.Big idea(s): If you’re stuck and you can’t seem to break out of it, help someone else get what they need and you’ll automatically be empowered.You’d never guess: How spontaneously performing Joan of Arc to a stranger on a NYC bus kick-started her career.Current passion project: Speaking and facilitating workshops around the world on changing the way people work, helping them reclaim their lives and move from merely surviving to thriving.Please enjoy this guided meditation, titled, Let Love In, from Chapter 13 of Wake Up to the Joy of You.Rockstar sponsors:Get paid online, on-time with Freshbooks! Today's show is supported by FreshBooks, cloud accounting software that makes it insanely easy for freelancers and professionals to get paid online, track expenses and do more of what you love. Get your 1-month free trial, no credit card required, at FreshBooks.com/goodlife (enter The Good Life Project in the “How Did You Hear About Us?” section).Today's show is supported Camp GLP. Come spend 3 1/2 days with "your people," make amazing friendships, drop the facade, reignite your vitality and learn powerful strategies and breakthrough business ideas. Learn more now. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

What my mother taught me, which is faith. She had so much faith that in the middle of nothing, there will be plenty. And if we can communicate that to people, that in the middle of our hardest times, there is faith that we are not alone. Imagine feeling like you were kind of put on the planet to do a certain thing and then getting to a point where you're an adult and you're doing it and you're pouring your heart into it. And it seems like the universe is not rising up to support you,

but is rather doing the exact opposite. Well, that was the experience of today's guest, Agape Stasinopoulos, it seems like the universe is not rising up to support you, but is rather doing the exact opposite. Well, that was the experience of today's guest, Agape Stasinopoulos, as she really started to devote herself to the performing arts and the dramatic arts and struggled mightily with her career. And that struggle then became the source of a lot of questioning, a lot of exploration that led her to change directions, pursue a master's in spiritual psychology, and then become an author. She's written a number of books now, leads workshops, and speaks globally. Her latest is called Wake Up to the Joy of You. It's a beautiful book with 52

weekly meditations and practices. And if you stay tuned at the end of this conversation, actually. She has very graciously allowed us to edit in one really beautiful guided meditation around love as we wrap up the conversation today. So be sure to stick around for that and set aside a few extra minutes to really deepen into it. I'm Jonathan Fields. This is Good Life Project. The Apple Watch Series 10 is here. It has the biggest display ever. It's also the thinnest Apple Watch ever, Flight risk. The Apple Watch Series X. Available for the first time in glossy jet black aluminum. Compared to previous generations, iPhone Xs are later required. Charge time and actual results will vary. So good to be sitting with you today.

Thank you so much, Jonathan. Thank you. I feel the same way. It's like my mother used to call it when you meet people that are your essential family in this world you know kindred spirits I just really have to say I so honor what you do

thank you and support your work so does Ariana we have your book everybody in the family has your book Ariana has it on her coffee table in her bedroom. Isabella has it. Of course I have it and it's just

to be so real with people. It's incredible. Thank you. And I think that is one of your essential gifts as well. Yes. So I know bits and pieces of your journey and I want to explore more with you today but I get the feeling that that was not always your journey. So as you mentioned, you grew up in Athens.

And at a time where it seems like also, having spoken, speaking with you now and having spoken with your sister, family was such an essential part of who you are. Yes, yes. And that's so much attributed to my mother. Yeah. Because she had this ability to bring everybody together. And, of course, her daughters, Ariana and me, were her prize and her love and her heart, actually. And she brought us up with such closeness and devotion. It was like it wasn't this she didn't have a job when we were brought up in Athens.

You know, we were it. She said, this is my job. This is my vocation. This is what I've come here to do, to raise these girls. Can you imagine? I mean, it was beyond the calling of a mother. And a lot of times people say to me, why was she like that? What did she study?

What did she? And I said, my mother was an evolved soul, you know, who came in here to do her mission, which was to raise these girls and also to clear some and to work through some of her woundedness that she had with my father, you know. And she wasn't by no means a saint. She was very Greek and very feisty and very real. But she created community, which I know you love. And I always say that when my mother

didn't have money for the rent, she would invite everybody for dinner because she wanted to show us that there is plenty of everything. And she would spend her last money in feeding people. And then the money would come, whether her brothers would help her or she would spend her last money in feeding people. And then the money would come, whether her brothers would help her or she would sell something. But she did not live in luck. She lived in abundance in the midst of not having. So she raised us with this fearlessness about money and life and asking for what you want and reaching out to people. And one of my favorite things I always say is I was raised with feta cheese, olive oil, and the principle of non-hierarchy. There was no hierarchy. It was like it didn't matter if you're the CEO or the prime minister or, you know, lord and lady, so-and-so, because we started in England and you would meet. And my mother would not be effaced by

it. It's like the same thing as the gardener or the plumber. And that, to me, is such a gift in a culture that we separate. And we go, well, you have this or you've achieved this. What does that mean? We all started from the same place. So what we put of status in our culture and what we make more important, it undermines the human heart and the human spirit. So I'm very committed to breaking through that.

And I'm very committed to helping people breaking through that. Yeah. And that's so clear. At the same time, you write about this very transparently and powerfully in your book, Wake Up to the Joy of You, that your mother's relationship with your dad was very challenging. And to a certain extent, it kind of seems like you were your father's child. Oh my God, that is so beautiful that you see that. I really appreciate that because I was. And in a funny sort of way, I still think I am. As much as I so honor, you know, our mother's love and spirit

and work she did with me and Ariana and the world, actually, because everybody who met my mother to this day, if I post something about my mother in Facebook, I get the most responses from everybody saying, I knew your mother, I met her 30 years ago in London and she gave me cookies or she did something for me or she helped me through my divorce and this endless ability to help people. And yes, my father, and for our listeners, I need to say that who haven't read my work, my father was a concentration camp survivor,

and he was a journalist, and he was caught by the Germans in the Second World War. He was fighting in Athens by writing in the occupation, you know, against the Germans. And they came, they took him, and they took him to the camps in Germany. And he often said he saw people shot and hanged every day in front of his eyes, some of his best friends. But what helped him survive was he was editing a book he wanted to write about the vision that he had about Greece, and he had this love for Greece, and he survived, and he came back and met my mother and they fell in love. But he was a wounded man because how can you not be wounded after going

through the camps? And I, as a soul who came in, because, you know, I have this story in the book that I say that my mother was, they were going to abort me. And I kept going, I'm coming in no matter what. So they decided the last minute not to have the abortion. And I came in with an incredible calling to really help my father is his woundedness. And I felt that calling throughout my life. In a funny sort of way, I feel one of the reasons I didn't get married is because I had such a devotion to my father. And I'm very happy I didn't get married. I got married when I was very young in London, but then I separated and I moved on and then I never got

married and had children. And partly I think is because so much of my psyche was very much in service to my father. And I'm grateful for that. It's a true love. And I saw my father take his last breath. I was with him, lying next to him when he was sedated. And then I left and I could see his spirit living and his soul. And then nine years later, when I was going back to Greece to do the Gods of Greece documentary in Athens, I had an experience where my father came in spirit because I was very sad. I was coming to Athens and I wasn't going to be with my father because it was the first time I'd been to Greece without him. And I felt this presence in my hand.

And in Greek, he said, And it was completely my father's presence who said to me, Welcome, my darling. Maybe you have a good time and may you rest, which is exactly what my father would say. So I know they are alive in spirit. I know both my parents and I sense that. And it's a beautiful thing that you never really lose the people you love.

No, no, indeed. I guess I'm curious when the earliest seeds also, because you shared how you became very drawn to the arts and to performance. Was that sort of set in motion at a very young age? Yes, I was always attracted. I hated math and algebra. You're probably not alone in that. Oh, are you like that? No, you're a brilliant lawyer. How can you not? You probably... I'm good with words, but numbers, yeah. My mother used to say this great phrase. She used to say, Mom, I said, I hate math. And she used to say, Mom, I said, I hate math.

And she used to say, we didn't bring you here for math. We brought you here for the joy. So when I wrote this book, you know, Wake Up to the Joy of You, I realized that that was a seed planted in me since I was nine. You know, I was here to bring the joy. Now, I didn't feel a lot of the joy because I felt the pain of my parents. Because as a child, we take on our parents' suffering and we think it's our fault and we feel we have to do something about it. But what was miraculous for me was that the sense of dance and theater and bringing joy to others relieved all that and got me back to the essence of who I am.

Studying at the Royal Academy of Dramatic Arts was an extraordinary gift. And again, you know, when I told my mother I want to study acting, she said, absolutely, we will take you to the best school ever, which was RADA. And she found me my teacher. You know, there was a teacher I met at first and she had said to me, you're not really an actor. You're a wonderful human being. That was in London, but you don't have it in you. And I went back to my mother crying. And what do you think my mother said to me? She said, oh, that's not your teacher. She didn't get you. There's got to be someone else who really gets you which i always encourage parents it's like when they don't get something it's not their fault maybe it's the system and don't make them wrong because they're not good at one thing because they might be good at something else

so she gave me that gift of knowing that i wasn't here to do everything i was here to do that specific gift that was mine to do and And the acting was an amazing release. And it was a great gift that I had. But I had a very hard time with my career because the career wasn't happening. Yeah. I mean, which is such a struggle, right? Because I know that's something that I think so many people experience is that they feel there's this particular song in their heart.

And maybe in the moment, they think this is the only song in their heart. And when you feel that so often, we want to make that our career because that's the thing that we do most of the day. And yet the world doesn't rise up to meet us. Exactly. Exactly. And at that point, I think it's more like finding the wisdom to ask, what is the vision that life has for me, rather than my agenda to do this thing? And that could come into relationships, and that could come into careers, that could come to living wherever you live, making money, whatever it is, if we back off because our personality and our ego and our ambition and whatever our conditioning is, says, I'm going to do this thing. And for some people, it's, I'm going to do this thing, and boom, they do it.

But for the rest of us, it's like, I'm going to do this thing, but it's not happening. So that's the time where your soul is calling you and where you have to go silent and you have to tell your person, you know, you got to shut up and say, I'm going to start listening. And the listening can come from other people. The listening can come from within, but you start to put the pieces together. And for me, I had this epiphany one day in a New York City bus where I didn't get a part I wanted in a Greek play. And I thought, well, if I don't even get a part in a Greek play, it was a six-hour Greek plays all together. And the same old line that people, directors would say to me, well, you are so wonderful and you're so talented, but we don't

know what to do with you because you don't fit in. You don't fit in here. You don't fit in in this American series. You don't fit in in the Greek series because you don't look Greek. You don't sound, whatever it was. And in that moment where in the bus, I started to speak with one woman and spontaneously performed Joan of Arc for her. And that moment opened up my universe because I realized that my misidentification that I waited for the world to say, I'm hiring you, you belong with us. And when the world wasn't giving me that, I ended up saying, I've got it. I'm just going to give it unconditionally to a woman in the bus, to the streets, to anyone who wants to listen to me. I will give my gift because it gives me joy to do this thing.

And that started my career. That started my one-woman show as the goddesses because she actually said to me, go do your own thing. But I was insecure. I didn't have the confidence. I didn't know what my own thing was, but it was revealed to me because she put the seed there. Yeah. So much to talk about in there. I think so often we feel that if somebody else doesn't, in relatively short order, pay us for the thing that we feel like we're here to do, that it's not actually our thing. No, maybe it just needs to sort of make its way into the world differently. But I also think there's this really thin line, right?

Because maybe it's not our thing. for a lot of people is how do you know when you're getting feedback from the world around you that says that maybe there's something different that is waiting for you that is much closer to, you know, like the truth of who you are and that is the thing that you're here to bring to the world versus they just don't get who I am and what I'm here to do. Exactly. And I think, Jonathan, partly what happens at that moment, and I so relate when people are going through that in what, no matter what age, because you can go through it, of course, in your 20s and 30s. Yeah, so many people do it in their 40s and 50s. In their 40s and their 50s. And then you go, I'm doing this work, but I'm not happy.

I'm miserable doing, like you, you know, miserable being a lawyer, I'm miserable, you know, doing this job. I hate my job. I hate my marriage or whatever it is. And I think on top of that, we feel ashamed and we judge it. And we judge ourselves that we don't have it. We judge ourselves that we start comparing ourselves. Everybody has it except me. And yet what happens is we shrink.

And in the shrinking, we can't find the solutions and the light. So the ultimate courage at that moment is to not shrink, to say, hey, God, the universe, whatever, I'm a miracle of life. As I always say, I have 37.2 trillion cells that are making me, this little heart is beating and making my body alive. Being alive is an incredible miracle. And truly, I refer to God, but God, whatever you want to call God, it's like the spirit doesn't say, well, I'm going to give you some things, but you're not going to get anything, the rest of you. The spirit is generous. And when you find that spirit in yourself that is generous to you,

and however you find it is the mystery of life, because each one of us has our own path, that is the most beautiful awakening. And everyone could write a story about how they found it. And I think people should write a story and should write a post or anything because we're all looking, well, how did you find yours? And how did you find yours? And that's an amazing experience to really listen to people. And it's funny, I so agree with you. And I think we're all looking for that one thing that works for all, like what's the one

universal unlock key for everyone? My sense is that, like you said, I agree. I think there is no one thing. And at the same time, I do see, and I know you agree with this because through what you've shared and what you've written, that there are practices that allow us to more easily see that. And one of them, or maybe not a single practice, but the notion of creating more stillness in your life is so important. Yes. More inner time, you know, where you don't find yourself in the world. And there is a great phrase in the Bible, which I love, which is, he that walks in me is greater than he that walks in the world. And it happens to be Christian, but I'm sure every single religion has the equivalent,

the kingdom of heaven is within. I mean, the Greeks said it, you know, with the soul, the universal soul, the know thyself, Socrates said it, you know, Plato about the oneness of the soul. So we just have to start exploring as a human being, as a human being who is struggling, who is a mother, who is single, with raising kids, as a man who lost his job and how many people we know out there who are losing their jobs and because the company is shrinking and they're minimizing their staff about a woman who's struggling with her weight. A woman who said to me the other day at the hairdresser where we're having Mark Caller done, she heard my voice and said, oh my God, you are a guppy.

I said, how do you know? I said, because I've been listening to your audio of your book three times because I have a horrible divorce going on, a man who left me, who I brought from Australia. I have two kids with him and he left me for a good friend of mine. And now this is a successful woman, but can you imagine the struggle with that? So where do we find at that moment, the spirit, the, and the sweetness of life. What kind of journey do we, each one of us has to go to be met, as you said, by life and to know that that that's happening to us is not against us and that the dawn will come again, that the spirit of joy

is there, even if we're going through this tunnel. And to me, that's my passion to help people who are feeling less than, who are feeling stuck, or it's a horrible thing when you're feeling so unhappy about something and people around you are getting what they want, right? Let's be human for a minute. It is. We measure our self-worth, our success, our value. I mean, there's all this research around this, right? You know this as well. And in comparison to those we surround ourselves with. So back to the practice that you said. So what is the practice? And the practice is, first of all, the practice is whatever is happening to

me right now, as Rumi said, is rigged in my favor. Because let us come back to the fundamental question, why are we here? And I have this in the chapter of Finding Your Purpose when a 16-year-old boy asked me that question. And I said, Michael, why do you think we're here? And he said, I think we're here to wake up. And I went, wow. And so life will give us whatever it takes to wake up that we are not that thing. We're not that relationship. We are not that job. We are not that bank account. And from that place, if we know that we are a soul embodied in this body, and we are of spirit, then we start to put the pieces together because we're coming from the top down. And to me, that was my path, you know, because I

wasn't getting anything. I was hitting against the wall and I had angst. I mean, I know angst. I know what it takes to wake up in the morning and to feel, oh, my God, I'm never going to have a life. I'm 28. I don't have a relationship. I don't have money. I don't have a job. What am I going to do in this world? And feeling that I'm talented and I'm loving and I'm a good person.

And yet to find your trajectory, to find your spirit, to find your calling. In that, I started to devote myself to yoga and to meditation and to doing practices of writing just in my journal and to talking to people and to finding teachers, you know, like Paramahansa Yogananda and my teacher that I found in Los Angeles, John Roger, and going to seminars and then going to the University of Santa Monica to study spiritual psychology. And like, you know, Jonathan, you don't get where you are without putting the hours and the work. It's like gardening. You don't get to see these flowers and these orchards grow without watering them and taking

the weeds out and fertilizer. And every day, you know, I don't know, we have a gardener in Los Angeles, and every day we have a gardener. He goes and I help him sometimes water the plants. That's a daily practice. And I know you speak a lot about that. So to ask people, what is your daily practice of devotion and reverence and asking? And in the asking, or just simply asking and being still,

it's amazing what's revealed to us. Yeah, I agree. Just however you access that place, I think that's one of the big things, is that it is a practice that, whether it's meditation or movement or walking or prayer, that it's very rare that somebody sits down and, you know, like on day number two, you're like, aha, it's all been revealed to me.

Like this is a slow, it's a practice of stillness that allows an unfolding over time. And my sense is that so many people get frustrated and bail on that practice long before it cultivates enough stillness for them to see what's capable of bubbling up. Yes, because we're afraid of the nothingness. We're afraid of the no thing. But we have to go through the no thing to have the worlds open up to us. And we are afraid of the emptiness. The Apple Watch Series 10 is here. It has the biggest display ever.

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Mayday, mayday, we've been compromised. The pilot's a hitman. I knew you were going to be fun. On January 24th. Tell me how to fly this thing. Mark Wahlberg. You know what the difference between me and you is? You're going to die. Don't shoot him, we need him. So our awesome friends at Freshworks make ridiculously easy cloud accounting software for freelancers and small business owners who know that making every single moment count is a really important part of getting a lot of stuff done and being able to do the things that they want to do in their business. By drastically

simplifying things like invoicing, tracking expenses, and getting paid online, FreshBooks has totally changed the game for now more than 10 million people. You can link your FreshBooks has totally changed the game for now more than 10 million people. You can link your FreshBooks account to your credit card and debit card. So next time you expense, you know, the business stuff or the tank of gas or lunch, it just shows up automatically. They have notifications and awesome customer service to claim your month long unrestricted free trial with no credit card required. Go to freshbooks.com slash good life and enter the good life project in the how did you hear about us section. I think, I mean, you speak so much about gratitude. And I mean, that simple practice of

just saying, I'm grateful to be here right now. I'm grateful for hot water. I'm grateful for contact lenses. I'm grateful for every little thing. I have right now my foot on the left side. I've torn some ligaments. I did it through a yoga practice that I stretched, you know, wrongly my foot. And now I have to ice my foot. I have to wear my sneakers like I'm wearing today.

I have to sometimes go to events wearing my sneakers without my, you know, nice high heel. I mean, I don't really wear high heels, but, you know, the most elegant feminine shoes. And that's a mindfulness that I'm going through right now. Now, how many times, if I told people right now, think of your feet, love your feet. I just took a picture of me massaging my feet and I'm posting it in my Instagram going, love your feet every night. Just love those feet. They take you places.

But who does that until your feet hurt, right? So until something falls and breaks, we don't really, I mean, we take so much for granted. Yeah, we do. And I think also, you take so much for granted. Yeah, we do. And I think also, you know, our brains are wired for negativity, sadly. Maybe because it played some survival role a long time ago. 50,000 thoughts per day and 70% are said to be negative. So that's a big challenge we all have. How do you deal with that?

Tell me. It's a big challenge we all have. How do you deal with that? Tell me. It's a really interesting question. I think being regularly grateful, but developing it into a practice. Because you have to have something that counters that on a daily basis, because it's so easy if the natural tendency is to go dark or to not see what's green and what's beautiful in your life. Do you ever look at yourself in the mirror and look at the love in your eyes and just say, I don't. Oh, Jonathan, you have to do that.

To look back to your life, because we don't take ourselves, you know, it's a big practice out there in many, many people practice that. Is that part of your daily practice or regular practice? It's not, but when I do it, I love it. I have a mirror next to my bed or sometimes in the morning, I'm putting my makeup on and I'm going, oh God, my eyes look tired. It's wrinkles here. You know, you start to judge your face and I go, shut up. This is a beauty. This face was made by God. You had nothing to do with it. So please love it. Please love it. You know, I talk to myself a lot. Let me just say one of my keys is I tell myself, what's going on, darling?

I call myself, you know, I live with Ariana. We are very, who's a very goy-go person. You know, she's very religious on her practice about sleep. I mean, so I know you are too. And of course, she wrote the whole book about it. And she's very devoted. And we both pray at night and we pray together. That's so sweet. And when my niece is there, we pray, all of us. And before a meal, we always tell each other what we're grateful for. So that's a daily practice, the gratitude. But I joke because Ariana is not a processor. Like if you tell her, honey, I'm going through this thing that happened yesterday.

She would say to me, yesterday? Well, let it go. It's like, I'm processed. You know, let me just tell you what I went through, you know, and I'm still processing the night before. So I'm more kinesthetic that way. So I had to develop this connection with myself of really, you know, and I will put my hands in my belly and I would say, what's going on, darling? What's going on? And she will say to me, that girl in me, because we're all girls and boys, ultimately, you know,

we're adults, but that girl in me will say, I'm upset about this or I didn't exercise today and I don't feel good. And I have apologized to myself. I say, I'm sorry I didn't take you to the gym. I know you want it, but I got too busy handling my life. Or she would literally tell me things like, can you go out for a walk now? Because like if I'm working too many hours for me, I have to break the pattern. I know you speak about standing and walking, and that's a big practice. So back to the daily little things, but you've got to get to connect.

And every meditation I do, every guided meditation I do in my audio version of the book, I say, put your hand in your heart, put your hand in your belly and connect you to you. Connect your heart, connect your emotional state, and then you can start bringing the light from above and your third eye and you start to feel the alignment of yourself. So when you go out into the world, build that connection. So when you walk into a place, you bring you with you. And then life is sweet. Yeah. And I feel like we're so disembodied on a daily basis. So interesting that you just said that about one hand on the heart and one hand on the stomach, because I've intuitively come to that same place.

And I noticed that when I would be either lying in bed or lying in meditation or just stressed out. And if you put one hand over your heart, one hand on your belly, there's something, there is this circuit that feels like it gets completed. And for those who are not open to subtle body anatomy or energy and stuff like that, you don't have to buy into anything. That's right. Just you feel it.

You feel it. And there have been so many times where I've just been lying there. I'm stressed out. I'm frazzled. And I'll just kind of lie on the couch or lie in bed. And I'll just put a hand, open palm on the chest and open palm on the belly. And it's like everything just settles. It's almost like there's a trigger inside of us that's meant to connect in some way when you do that.

I love that you said the circuit because I'm going to actually use that because it is like your circuit starts to, it's like you're disconnected and suddenly you connect. That's what it feels. I mean, it literally feels like that. It feels that way. And I think even if people are listening now, if they just did that, of course, if you're driving, please don't do it. Pull over first. Pull over to the side. But I just feel, you know, sometimes, Jonathan, I will say that in the corporate world when we do Thrive seminars, and people will come to me and say, I've never done that and I said dear god dear god where happened to us that we are so in our heads

and in our to-do list that we literally and if you have a partner that's loving sure you touch it you know you can do that with each other but what if you live alone and what if you just stopped and did it in the day you know and it's so sweet but it's almost I mean I'm Greek of course and it's so sweet, but it's almost, I mean, I'm Greek, of course, and it's kind of, we are much more touchy-feely, we're much more kinesthetic, but I think we should make a habit to help people, you know, and I speak a lot about this in The Art of Meditation and in the book about, you know, Jonathan, I feel the key to meditation, and so many people say, it's so hard to meditate. I start, but then I stop. And I said, meditation is about gratefulness and heartfulness.

If your heart is not engaged, then it's just another mental exercise that will leave you empty. One minute of heartfelt devotion and gratitude takes you closer to that kingdom within, to your heart, than years of practice. And you see that in little kids, you know, when they're so connected. And that's where the joy resides. Yeah, because it seems like that's our natural state. That's our natural state. And something happens when we move from being little kids. We lose that somehow somewhere along the

way. You know what happens? The veil drops. It's just really, there are two states of consciousness, I feel. Before the veil, the veil of forgetfulness. It's like we go asleep. And actually, it's in metaphysical books. I've read it a lot that at seven years old, the veil drops and we lose our innocence and we become of the world and we start to adjust. What are they going to think of me? Your parents say, don't do that. Don't say that. Sweetheart, stop it.

Don't cry. Boys, don't cry. Go to your room. You're being too loud. All these signals. Look at your sister. Look at your brother. Look at your friend. And then all these thousands of things that happened that start to cloud our essence. So our job is to really, you know, I think it's Carl Jung or E. Cummings who said, you're not responsible for what happened in your childhood, but you're responsible to heal it as an adult. And I think that is our work, all of us. How do we heal

what happened, what is happening, and how do we let go of the agenda to know that we're always seen and we always matter. And how do we find that cord through our habits and our practices? And if you have hurt, you must cry. And if you have grief, and if you have upsetness, I was reading, may I read something in the book? Yeah, yeah, please do. I have a beautiful quote here in The Power of an Open Heart, which starts by saying, if you wish to be loved, love. But of course, sometimes you don't know where to begin to love. And I say, if you find yourself feeling stuck, down, anxious, bitter, or pessimistic, I guarantee that your heart is closed at the very moment. You probably have

critical judgments of yourself, others, and life, and you feel isolated. From here, you have a choice. You don't have to stay in this place. Know that at that moment, you are longing for connection with yourself. And ask yourself, why am I withdrawing my self-love? Listen for the response. Is it something current or old? Be honest and allow yourself to be vulnerable because it is through that vulnerability that our hearts soften. You might need to cry because something is releasing. You might need to write down all the pent-up feelings that have been stored under judgments and criticism. Just know that under all of that weight,

your heart is longing to open and to be given permission to express all of your pain, your hurts, your hopes, and ultimately love. Don't live in the separation between you and your heart. It's not a good way to live. Do whatever it takes to heal the separation. In a way, it goes back to that exercise that you mentioned earlier of looking in the mirror and just looking at your own face, looking into your own eyes. Yes, because we don't really... And acknowledging the love, the goodness. That's right. We are not, I'm raising my hand.

I am not good at that. And most people I know are fiercely uncomfortable with that notion. Well, what about if we gave that up right now? Because I'm not good at either. You want to make a pact? Make a pact. We give each other a five. Jonathan and I are giving each other a five.

I'll start. I'm not good at it either. I do little bits of it. And then I run away from myself. I run away. We run away from ourselves. Because it's not comfortable to be in your own vulnerability, in your, my God, look at those eyes. And I know, Jonathan, so many people out there see your goodness and your love and who you are. And I know it happens to me wherever I go when people say, oh, you helped me. You helped me open up my heart. You brought your joy. And, you know, I speak everywhere and people get that.

And one day i thought well what about giving some of that wagapi what a concept and i have to stop myself on tracks to give back my goodness and i have to tell you in our honesty and vulnerability i'm not there yet and i don't i mean you feel the separation separation right underneath the underbelly of your belly. In the unconscious lies the belief of what is the belief. And I know for me, what's revealed to me one day, because I take on people's emotions and sufferings and I'm an empath. So literally I can walk into a room and feel the goodness, but also feel the stuff people are going through.

And I could walk away with it. People's anxiety, despair. I was on the phone with somebody yesterday and they were anxious. I woke up this morning, I was anxious. And I go, whose is it? But you have the awareness to ask that question. Yes, and then I got it. Which is really important.

And then I had to sit down and let that go. So it's work. Right. I didn't want to have to sit down because I said, well, I'm going to see Jonathan today. I want to be clear. So I had to meditate to release that person from my belly because I took their anxiety.

But what I think is important at that moment is to say, and for me, it was revealed that when I was 12 and my parents separated, I took on the belief that in order to find the value in myself, I had to absorb people's pain to help them. Does that make sense? I think a lot of people would probably resonate with that. That I felt, well, if I take my father's pain, I have value now. Now, when you're 12, you don't know that that's a stupid thing to do because you can't take his pain because it's his pain.

But you can be joyful and love him and make him a meal and caress him or leave when he's too down. You know, that's another thing I talk about a lot. You know, when people are down and too negative, leave them. You don't have to suffer people's negativity. But that thing I still struggle with about taking on people's, because it's unconscious. When the woman sitting next to you at the hairdresser the other day said, I recognize your voice and shared her story and shared how much you've helped her. How did that land with you? That was so sweet. And thank you for asking. It was so sweet because

I was struggling with something that day and, you know, I was feeling off. And I don't even know why, you know, we have those days where you feel off. And I was there and getting my color done. And, you know, you look no makeup, and I had to do the next thing. And I said to her, you're a gift to me right now. You are my gift to tell me that my work touched your heart and helped you. I said, that means so much to me. And you know, that is so sweet for me to have come to this place of where what I've gone through, I share so vulnerably with people. I don't care about saying anything to people because I know they've gone through it. And that confidence that I have now to share my vulnerability is something that gives me so much joy.

And to know that other people are helped from it is just the sweetest thing. There's nothing like it. It's something that gives me motivation to keep going and to keep doing and to keep finding the joy that we are all going through this journey together. And it seems like that was the awakening that you had even back in younger years when you were performing, which was that part of it, I'm sure for you, was about the expressive side of it. But it sounded like an equally big, if not larger part of it,

was that you saw that there was something in you that when you performed in some way, lifted others. Lifted others. And there's something about that that for you is the bigger thing. Yes, it's a bigger calling. Yeah. Because I feel when I look from above into my soul's calling, that is my calling to really use me use agape which in greek means unconditional

love and it's a sweet name to bear to have you know my mother gave it to me to use me to lift others but it's almost like it's i feel being used because i feel my spirit comes through. So it lifts me to lift others because it's not the personality. I mean, I use my personality and I use my gift, whatever it is, but it's like when you're used by life, by the spirit of life to lift others. And I have to tell you many times when I'm low in my energy or I feel off, I go, well, call someone and make them happy. You're going to feel great. Isn't that a great key? I love that.

Go hug somebody because somebody needs that agape love. And so then you start to experience your richness and your fullness and then your generosity of how can you give out. And I always encourage people, if you can't get yours, if you're stuck, help someone else get theirs and you're going to be automatically empowered. And there's thousands of people who could use your gift out there. It could be the barista in the coffee shop. Just you giving of that energy. Don't wait for the special shop. Just you giving of that energy. Don't wait for the special occasions. Just share it.

Give it. And that's where we lift each other. Yeah. Sitting here speaking with you and having read a lot of what you've written, it's interesting because there's a radiant joy that just kind of comes, you know, washes from you and fills the room to a certain extent. And yet there's also, there's a sense that you have gone through some profound sadness. What am I picking up? You're picking up that I have gone through the sadness of my life often not being what I wanted it to be. And mostly I feel the sadness of people around that I can go into a room and look around

and I have to talk to myself to not focus on the sadness that people are missing themselves. And then I start to feel sad because I can go in and say, let's speak for an hour. And then I might go home and go feel sad because I gave my joy, I gave my love, I gave everything I had to share in an hour, but they still have to do the work and they still get that love or that light for a minute. But then I have such an idealistic way where I kind of feel, couldn't we all be happy and realized and awakened? That's a very wonderful childlike, innocent thing that works with me. Does it make sense? Yeah, it does. And I think it also ties in with what you shared earlier about you being an empath. And for those who aren't

familiar with that word, that's sort of a description that's come to know somebody who feels what others feel, which can be a blessing. And at the same time, it can be incredibly hard. Yeah, because I think, Jonathan, the soul, our souls want to go home, want to be home, want to be realized, want to be home to God, to the soul place that we all know. I mean, the soul came in and embodied here. But what we really want, we want to experience is this light and this love. But yet, look what we all go through. I mean, we go through it.

Thank God we have found ways to come to more of our light and our love and our heart. But my God, you open the news, you hear anything to do with the world. And the world is dealing with a lot of darkness. So how do you not take that darkness? How do you stay in the light? How do you stay, you know, open and expanded? That's something that I basically struggle with and work with myself daily. As do I think that is something that a lot of people struggle with these days.

And I return to my meditation and my prayers because then I ask the spirit and the love to fill me and to lift me. So I'm in prayer a lot of the day silently. I might be doing, I might be cooking my scrambled eggs, but I'm asking for the light for the day. I'm asking for the light. meditations that I do, I prayed. Before I wrote every chapter in this book, and you know, it's 52 chapters, I literally would close my eyes and ask for the words to come through, for the meditations to come through me, and to really bring the right words to help me and people open up those doors and those windows to bring a greater light in and to unlock.

And that's all we really want. We want to unlock. And you have these moments of unlocking, and then you have the veils that come in. So it's this kind of constant journey of humanity. And how can you have anything else but love and compassion for everything, starting with yourself. And just, I mean, literally, there's been times where I've done it and it's like I go and I hug myself and I say, I love you, sweetheart. I love what you're doing.

And I love you. And I say, oh my God, this woman loves me. And there are times where I'm judging me because of this and that. I have to return the love and then that love can go out. Yeah. You know, it's kind of interesting to me. I wonder if in a way it's easier to profess your love to yourself if you create this sort of altar of yourself, like the darling, or if you create the name for yourself, because it's almost like you're saying this to another,

which I think a lot of us would find easier than to just say, insert me in that sentence. It's interesting. I know you're familiar with metta meditation and loving kindness practice, which always starts the very first part is, it's towards you. And then it's interesting. I know you're familiar with meta-meditation and loving-kindness practice. Yes, yes. Which always starts the very first part is, you know, it's towards you. And then it's towards someone you love dearly. And then it's towards someone, you know, you just kind of know loosely. And then it's towards somebody who you struggle with. And then it's towards the world at large. And a lot of people struggle with when they get to that person who they're having tension with, you know, offering them kindness and love and wishes for well-being.

But I think a lot of us struggle equally wishing that with ourselves or to ourselves. And I wonder if the practice that you've sort of inadvertently adopted of sort of naming it as somebody else but knowing it's really you makes it easier for us in some way. Yes, because it's like you disassociate you bring yourself to the altar right as you said and you know and if we look back if we look ahead of our lives i mean all of us are going to have this moment of transcendence and dying and at that moment you better have you with you i mean no matter how many people love you and no matter what you've done in the world,

at that moment, it's going to be you and your maker. And so, I mean, I have not, I have to tell you with all my spiritual work and everything, I have not made peace of my dying. I don't know how you are about that, but I'm like, I don't think about it because I love life and I love, you know, I'm very, very involved and engaged in my life. Very, very, very, very much so. I love the people I meet. I love my family. I'd love to do more good work in the world. And as I said to you at the beginning, we, time is running out. It's like we have a lot of people to help and spread such goodness. But I go, you know, the Romans always carved on their statues, Memento Mori, remember death, because it's the perspective of life. I have a chapter in the book that I must say I love. It's called, it was the year 3005 when I was going through a very hard time

and I was taken into a bigger perspective of the reality. There will be a day that will be 3005 and we won't be here. And the earth will be very different and our children's children will be different. And in a sort of fairy story, I was taken into another dimension because there is this other dimension of the bigger eternal spirit. So then you come back and you're back in this reality. But then that energy of when the veil lifts and you have it, and it's a great reminder because then you're not living in fear because you're living more in hey what the

hell i'm gonna do this i'm gonna say this i'm gonna have a good time i'm gonna bring my joy and i go find your joy it's there find your joy every day and find a joy buddy who keeps you accountable you know i like we made ourselves accountable to be a body to remind ourselves how we love ourselves and to take that, you know, to be in silence in front of the mirror and look at the soul and the love looking back to you and then go do your day. See how your day is going to be different. Sounds good. I want to start to come full circle. You have very graciously offered to allow us to edit in one of your guided meditations on love. And I think ending this today's conversation is going to be a great way to do that. But before we sort of ease into that,

tell me more. I mean, it seems like, so the dedication in your book is, which is funny, you know, with immense gratitude to your beloved teacher, and then who showed me that living in a state of loving is the gateway to grace. And it seems like that's so much of what you're about these days. Yes. You know, originally this book, which is now called Wake Up to the Joy of You, I wanted you to call it Embraced by Grace. And for marketing reasons, the publishers thought it was too religious, too Christensen. Grace is like universal. So I'm glad we did Wake Up to the Joy because joy is so much of who I am and what I want to bring in the world and awaken other people to their joy.

But I find that there is a state between a rock and a hard place, whatever we're going through, in that moment where grace at every moment can embrace us. And it's an absolute, it's like an embroidery where you have to put these stitches together of your absolutely let go of your preconceived ideas of what life should look like and embrace yourself whatever you're going through, whatever you want that you're not having, whatever life is not giving you. And right at that moment, if you just allow it and accept it and kind of lean back and go, it's okay, because I'm still here and I'm breathing, a greater spirit comes through you.

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Peloton. Visit Peloton at onepeloton.ca. Mayday, mayday. We've been compromised. The pilot's a hitman. I knew you were going to be fun. January 24th. Tell me how to fly this thing. Mark Wahlberg. You know what the difference between me and you is? You're going to die. Don't shoot him. We need him. Y'all need a pilot. Flight risk. The Apple Watch Series X is here. It has the biggest display ever. It's also the thinnest Apple Watch ever, making it even more comfortable on your wrist, whether you're running, swimming, or sleeping.

And it's the fastest-charging Apple Watch, getting you eight hours of charge in just 15 minutes. The Apple Watch Series X. Available for the first time in glossy jet black aluminum. Compared to previous generations, iPhone Xs are later required. Charge time and actual results will vary. And embraces you and you go, that is grace. So everyone listening can't see, but as you just offered that, you went somewhere. Yes. I went to that deeper place inside, you know, that is available if we choose it.

And it takes a willingness at that moment to just ask and say, I know that this exists. And it's what my mother taught me, which is faith. She had so much faith that in the middle of nothing, there will be plenty. And if we can communicate that to people, that in the middle of our hardest times, there is faith that we are not alone. And I lived through that in my childhood. I saw it. I saw it with like manna from heaven, it will manifest. She taught me that with not having to pay the rent you know I'm talking about the practical material world

I'm not talking about airy fairy going to the Himalayas and seeing the light I'm talking about living in a little Athens apartment and that faith we must assume it in our daily life we must assume it in our daily life.

We must assume it, and that will guide us to find our tools and our keys and our people and our essential family. Like I said to you when I came here, I said, I'm so happy to be sitting with you because you are my essential family. I know the goodness you spread and you give. So that place exists not just in Agape and in Jonathan. It exists to all of us. But it takes a willingness.

And I totally believe that it can happen in the moment. You know, you can study it, you can read all the books, but you can right now, whatever you are, listening to this moment, this, you can assume it, and you can live it, and you can start smiling inside and saying, you know, she's right. She's right. I got it.

Because you got this. It's not just us. Everybody's got this. It takes a little bit of switch, you know, to unlock that place. It's just, it's a leaning back. It's got this. It takes a little bit of switch to unlock that place. It's a leaning back. It's an allowing. I love that. So as we sit here, the name of this is Good Life Project. So if I offer that phrase up to you, to live a good life, what comes up?

Oh, to live a good life. I was going to read my favorite quote. Oh, to live a good life, I was going to read my favorite quote. Oh, my goodness, it's called, My heart is at ease knowing that what was meant for me will never miss me, and that what misses me was never meant for me. By Imam al-Shafi. And that Sufi master, I think, has given us something that is such a wonderful way to live because then you live with your heart full.

My heart is at ease knowing that what was meant for me will never miss me. And that what misses me was never meant for me. That's faith and that what misses me was never meant for me. That's faith and that's trust and that's knowing that life is for you. Thank you. That's a good life, isn't it? Indeed.

It's a good life. Thank you for this conversation. Thank you so much, Jonathan. Your ability and your gift to listen with your heart is extraordinary. And I thank you for that gift. It's such a rich quality that you listen with all your heart and all your presence. And to bring your presence to me today, it really enriched my life profoundly. Thank you. Thanks so much for listening to today's episode. If the stories and ideas in any way moved you, I would so appreciate if you would take just a few extra seconds for two quick things.

One, if it's touched you in some way, if there's some idea or moment in the story or in the conversation that you really feel like you would share with somebody else, that it would make a difference in somebody else's life, take a moment and whatever app you're using, just share this episode with somebody who you think it'll make a difference for. Email it if that's the easiest thing, whatever is easiest for you. And then of course, if you're compelled, subscribe so that you can stay a part of this continuing experience. My greatest hope with this podcast is not just to produce moments and share stories and ideas that impact one person listening, but to let it create a conversation, to let it serve as a catalyst for the elevation of all of us together collectively, because that's how we rise. When stories and ideas become conversations that lead to action, that's when

real change happens. And I would love to invite you to participate on that level. Thank you so much as always for your intention, for your attention, for your heart. And I wish you only the best. I'm Jonathan Fields, signing off for Good Life Project. And just a quick reminder, as you head out into the world, we would love to see you. I would love to see you at Camp GLP. We are actually running out of spots, so be sure to check it out and grab your spot. You can find more information at goodlifeproject.com slash camp, or just click the link in the show notes now.

Mayday, mayday. We've been compromised. The pilot's a hitman. I knew you were going to be fun. We'll be right back. The Apple Watch Series 10 is here. It has the biggest display ever. It's also the thinnest Apple Watch ever, making it even more comfortable on your wrist, whether you're running, swimming, or sleeping. And it's the fastest-charging Apple Watch, getting you 8 hours of charge in just 15 minutes. The Apple Watch Series 10. Available for the first time in glossy jet black aluminum. Compared to previous generations,

iPhone Xs are later required. Charge time in glossy jet black aluminum. Compared to previous generations, iPhone XS or later required, charge time and actual results will vary.