Good Life Project - Giada De Laurentiis | Life Beyond Food

Episode Date: March 29, 2021

With culinary training from Le Cordon Bleu in Paris, and a relatability that seems to light up the screen, many people know Giada De Laurentiis as the Emmy award-winning television personality of shows like Food Network’s Everyday Italian, Giada at Home, Giada’s Weekend Getaways, as a judge on Food Network Star and Winner Cake All, an NBC Today Show contributor, and a successful restaurateur with restaurants GIADA and Pronto by Giada in Las Vegas, as well as GDL Italian in Baltimore. Or, maybe you know her as the author of nine New York Times bestselling cookbooks, including her most recent, Eat Better Feel Better (https://amzn.to/2NQEJfi), which deftly navigates the sweet spot between delicious recipes and a more healthful approach to cooking and eating. But, what you may not know, and what Giada shares in the pages of this new book and our deep-dive conversation, is how her upbringing in a dynastic family of film, both in Italy and Hollywood, shaped everything from her love of food and cooking for others, to her early disdain for being in front of the camera. Her decision to step into the world of cooking on television, in fact, caused quite a dustup in the family. And the career that, in front of the camera, seemed so beautiful and glamorous, would eventually take a serious toll on her physical and mental health. There was a slowly-building dark side that would take years to acknowledge, then eventually step out of and do the work to reimagine both her mental and physical health, as well as the way she brought herself to her work, life and devotion to food and creativity.You can find Giada at:Website : https://www.giadadelaurentiis.com/Instagram : https://www.instagram.com/giadadelaurentiis/-------------Have you discovered your Sparketype yet? Take the Sparketype Assessment™ now. IT’S FREE (https://www.goodlifeproject.com/sparketypes/) and takes about 7-minutes to complete. At a minimum, it’ll open your eyes in a big way. It also just might change your life.If you enjoyed the show, please share it with a friend. Thank you to our super cool brand partners. If you like the show, please support them - they help make the podcast possible. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Many people know my guest today, Giada De Laurentiis, as the Emmy award-winning television personality of shows like Food Network's Everyday Italian, Giada at Home, Giada's Weekend Getaways as a judge on Food Network Star and Winner Cake All. Maybe you've seen her on NBC Today Show as a contributor, and she's also a successful restaurateur with the restaurants Giada and Pronto by Giada in Los Angeles, as well as GDL Italian in Baltimore. Or maybe you know her as an author of nine New York Times bestselling books, including her most recent Eat Better, Feel Better, which really deftly navigates the sweet spot between delicious recipes and a more healthful approach to cooking and eating. But what you may

not know, and what Jada shares in the pages of this new book, and also in a much more expansive way in our deep dive conversation, is how her upbringing in a dynastic family of film, both in Italy and Hollywood, shaped everything from her love of food and family and cooking for others to her early disdain for even being in front of a camera. Her decision to step into the world of cooking on television, in fact, it caused quite a dust up in the family. And the career that in front of the camera seemed so beautiful and glamorous and alive would eventually end up taking a pretty serious toll on her physical and mental health. There was a slow building dark side that would take years to acknowledge and then eventually

step out of and do the work to reimagine both her mental and physical health, as well as the way that she chose to bring herself to the world of work and life and her devotion to food and creativity and family. We dive into all of this in today's conversation. So excited to share it with you. I'm Jonathan Fields, and this is Good Life Project. The Apple Watch Series 10 is here. It has the biggest display ever. It's also the thinnest Apple Watch ever, making it even more comfortable on your wrist, whether you're running, swimming, or sleeping.

And it's the fastest-charging Apple Watch, getting you 8 hours of charge in just 15 minutes. The Apple Watch Series X. Available for the first time in glossy jet black aluminum. Compared to previous generations, iPhone XS or later required. Charge time and actual results will vary. Mayday, mayday. We've been compromised. The pilot's a hitman.

I knew you were going to be fun. January 24th. Tell me how to fly this thing. Mark Wahlberg. You know what the difference between me and you is? You're going to be fun. January 24th. Tell me how to fly this thing. Mark Wahlberg. You know what the difference between me and you is? You're going to die. Don't shoot him. We need him.

Y'all need a pilot. Flight risk. It's funny because we're talking about my new book and a lot of it is just as we get older, we start to realize just embrace the life that you have, accept where you are, and actually you'll have a much better time and your body and your mind will feel better. We spend so much time, at least I did, trying to perfect and edit and make sure that everything just comes out perfect and you look perfect, that it's so exhausting that your whole body and then in your mind takes

a huge beating and you can't you don't really realize it because you're in the grind in that rat wheel all the time or hamster wheel yeah it's like you don't have the perspective of being able to sort of like zoom out and the metal ends of looking back in it's interesting that frame that you bring to it though because you know and i want to dive a lot into the last 10 years in this new beautiful bucket but if we take a bigger leap back in time you know like you're essentially born into a lot into the last 10 years in this new, beautiful bucket. But if we take a bigger leap back in time, you know, like you're essentially born into a family of film where the idea of producing and creating a perfection and shooting until you get it absolutely right. It's almost like it's part of your DNA from the earliest days.

Which is how I crafted my show from the beginning, even my demo reel, which, you know, was also a process cause I didn't really want to do it. If I'm going to really do this, then it has to be absolutely perfect. The right timing on the music coming in and out, the same way my family produced movies, my grandfather. But what I didn't realize is that it was going to be my whole career. I was going to spend every moment trying to be perfect. You have to understand too that yes, that's why family did. But you know, my grandmother, my grandfather, they actually lived, they tried to live that perfect life, at least in front of the camera. Not really, you know, all sorts of hell breaks loose in private spaces, but at least in front of the camera, it was always trying to be that way.

And I think that you innately grow up in that. It's very difficult to run from it. Yeah. I mean, did you feel a sense of expectation around like, that's the way that you would or should bring yourself to the world also? Well, yes, because when I first got offered the show after I'd sent in the demo reel, which was not something I looked for either, but bypassing that whole part of the story, once I told my grandfather what I was doing, and you have to remember, this is 20 years ago, Food Network wasn't what it is today. And food television was like, what? It's not like this today. But 20 years ago, people in film, they frowned upon people in television. Television

was for people who couldn't make it in film. And so if you keep that in mind, my grandfather was very hesitant. I was the first grandchild. I was a female. And he said to me, I, you know, he came from nothing. I mean, not nothing, but his parents had a pasta factory. But basically in World War II, everything was gone. So then no money. And he was one of eight children. And so he said to me, I built, I built this family name and I built a business for everybody in the family.

If you destroy it with this little jaunt you're on, I will never speak to you again. And I think he was just like, you have to make sure that you remember that it's not just about you. It's about the entire family. And if you go down, we all go down. If you keep that in mind and you make the right choices, great. If not, and, you know, I had no reason to not believe him. I'd seen stuff happen. So, and I think that that's not, you know, a lot of people think, say to me, oh my God,

how horrible. I don't know that I thought it was horrible. I think I just thought that's just the way it is. That's the way it always is. You know, he's, he comes from Naples. We're very Italian and that's just the way it is. That's the way it always is. He comes from Naples, we're very Italian, and that's just the way it is. So yes, the anxiety of every move I made, I scrutinized everything I did, everything. It's hard for me even today, even now that I'm 50, to not do that. And he's been gone 15 years. So it's difficult, but I think it's made me stronger

somehow. Yeah. I mean, it's interesting also, because I know you shared how you kind of dabbled with going into the family business in a direct way when you were younger before college and realized it wasn't like you actually made a decision and said, this isn't what I want to do. And part of that, it sounds like was, I actually don't want to be in this industry. And I also don't want to be in front of a camera. I was very shy, very. And I was artistic. But the thing is with cooks, most cooks, they get pleasure from cooking for someone, but behind closed doors. This is who I am. And I'm expressing it on a plate and trying to feed you and make you happy. But I don't actually want to stand in front of you.

I don't actually want to talk to you. And so I think that we forget that nowadays because of reality shows. And, you know, they talk about everybody wanted to be in front of the camera or everybody wanted to be famous. But that's not actually how most chefs and cooks started. And really, it's it's sort of a blue collar job. Working in a kitchen is not a glamorous job. And my grandfather was very worried about me being in the kitchen anyway, as a petite female. He was like, you're out of your mind. You first of all,

just won't be able to physically handle it. And then there are all these men around you that are just going to eat you up. And I just thought, well, but I love to be around food. And there weren't really that many expectations for me either because I was a woman. So the men in the family, yes. So yes, did they expect me? Before I could go to college, they suggested that I work on a movie. My grandfather never really went to school. He didn't even go to high school. and college wasn't what it is to Americans for us. It is now, but again, we're talking long time ago. And so he was like, if you try it a couple of different jobs, I tried lots of different jobs on a movie set, acting, being, being in front of the camera, being one of them. And I just, I just don't think I enjoyed that lifestyle. I think I already knew that I, I just couldn't

hack that lifestyle. And so I asked to go to college and then I asked to go to culinary school and I paid for my own college because it's not that they didn't want to pay for it, but I just thought, I don't know, I really wanted to be independent of them. I just did. I didn't know how I'd do it, but I really wanted to be independent of them. Yeah. I mean, it's interesting that the way that you view cooking also and the way you describe it, because to a certain extent for somebody who's wired as sort of like on the quieter side, shy or introverted socially, it gives you cover, right? Because if you assume you're going into a career where you kind of get to be behind the scenes and you get to sort of like drop yourself into this creative generative space. There are a lot of expectations, but at the same time, you're not

front of the house. You're like, you're, you're opting to be back in the house. You're opting to be in this one position. And then the culture changes dramatically. And you are actually, you're sort of like in the early part of that profound shifting culture. But I'm really curious, you end up in UCLA and then you're up in Le Cordon Bleu in Paris, come back to LA, doing the restaurant scene, Spago, and kind of like everybody does when they're trying to make their bones in that world, right? And TV is not on your horizon at that point. It's like, okay, so let me build a career in this world of restaurants and food. Did you have a sense even then of what the ultimate aspiration was long before you even started

to look at TV or entertainment? Was it a restaurant or were you not even thinking that far ahead? No, I did. I mean, I had to figure out a way I could make a living. I knew I didn't want to live off my family forever. So I did. I think originally my plan was I loved desserts. I really wanted to be a pastry chef. That's truly what I wanted to do. But at the time, I also had a boyfriend that I had been dating for a while, who ended up becoming my husband and now my ex-husband. I thought, okay, well, I want to be a pastry chef, but I'm probably not going to live anywhere other than LA, other than the time I spent living in Paris. In Los Angeles at that time, pastries, they just, they really weren't part of our DNA. They're a little bit more now.

So I thought, okay, I really love the creative. I love eating it, but I also love the creative part of doing this. I would do ice sculptures and sugar sculptures. I was really into that. And then I realized, okay, I can't pretty much do that unless I get a job being a pastry chef, which is really what I did when I went to Wolfgang Pucks. That was my end goal at the moment. And then I thought, if I can't make enough money working back a house and being an executive pastry chef, then maybe I go back to school for hotels and I end up running a hotel, but also doing all the pastries. So I had those sort of thoughts in my mind, but that was the extent of it. Other than that, I had no idea.

Yeah. I mean, it's interesting also, because for anyone who's never been or spent some time in the back of a restaurant, what is happening in the back of the house is profoundly different than the experience in the front of the house, especially at a high volume, high profile place. It is absolute mayhem. It's a speed of operation and efficiency when it's really humming. That's almost inconceivable. And my curiosity is, you kind of have to be wired to be okay in that or else it grinds you up and spit you out really fast. How did that land with you just on who you were and the pace that you like to operate at that part in your life. That experience of working in a kitchen,

it toughened me up very quickly. Now, we all know nowadays what happens in those kitchens a little bit more. We have a little more clarity because of books that have been written and they've done shows on it. So people have a little bit more of a sense of what's happening there. I would say that there were not very many women, young women. They were not usually petite like myself. And there was a lot of harassment. There just was. And we also worked really late hours. I mean, our days started at like 11, 12. And then we went to like two or three in the morning. And for many of the people I worked with, they went into the night going drinking. Now I didn't do that because physically I could not after spending that many hours on my feet. So it definitely was difficult on my mind and my body,

of which I paid a price for later in life. But when you're young, you have no idea. Having said that, I don't know that I would have had the stamina for the career that was in front of me, in front of the camera, had I not worked there. I don't think I would have. I wouldn't have learned how to juggle all these things. I would have learned all the techniques and all of the, just the sheer hands-on experience that I got. And yeah, did I get beaten down from time to time? And did I get harassed? Yeah, I did. I kind of chalk it up to that's just the way it was.

It doesn't have to be that way anymore. And I hope that I can help in the restaurants that I have not have that culture. But I don't know. If I went back, if I would be able to hack it the way that I did all the years that I spent on the road, working my tail off in front of the camera and behind. I don't know that I could have done it without all that experience. Yeah. I mean, hindsight is 20, 20, but it's interesting, you know, when you reflect on the things that we all go through that are sometimes brutally hard and in the moment

they can feel awful and they are awful. And yet, you know, when you're able to sort of like look back and piece together, but I built resilience, I built a certain set of skills. And it's always interesting to me to revisit, you know, like the notion of sliding doors or would I do this again or would I do it differently? But it really does seem like a lot of what you moved through during that season really did prep you for the world of entertainment. I mean, so 2003 lands in your life, you're in, in the food world. And then this thing happens, you know, food network is, is really, it's still a really young network at that point, you know, right. And when, when people think about it now and people think about all the offshoots and extensions and all the competitors, it feels

like this massive thing that's been around forever. But in 2003, when you start to have conversations with them, this is something which is really, I don't want to say unproven, but it's really new on the horizon. So I'm curious when you start to interact and have those conversations, what's going through your mind about what makes sense for you? Well, I will tell you that when I started, I had a catering career, really. I had many clients that I worked for, like Ron Howard. I had a lot of celebrities and non-celebrities that I would cook for. Some of them I'd go to their home, some of them I would deliver. So I had this and I did parties. I did all sorts of things. So I already had a lucrative career, which is why I was hesitant when Food Network reached out and I did not jump for the opportunity to put together a demo reel because it all

stemmed from the one shoot I did for Food & Wine magazine the year before that my grandfather was getting a Lifetime Achievement Award. And that backs up to 9-11. I always say, I don't know that I would have had the opportunity if it wasn't for where our country was and where it had turned after 9-11. It really stepped away from people going to restaurants and really, really focused on home cooking. And I think that I was, I worked hard, but I was really at the right place at the right time. I really was. And I harnessed that without knowing that I did. So in my mind, I was hard, but I was really at the right place at the right time. I really was.

And I harnessed that without knowing that I did. So in my mind, I was like, okay, the show didn't do well the first season, but I was given much longer than people are given today to basically prove myself. But it didn't do well because I was standoffish a lot of the time. I mean, I really tended to cook like this. I really had a hard time opening up. And they were like, well, share stories about your family. And you have this wonderful... I'm like, I can't share stories about my family. That's just not right. I'd have to go ask. I mean, I just, I couldn't fathom that. I grew up in a family that was like,

you don't share your shit with anybody. And you definitely don't tell them your food secrets. Those are ours. So I had a really tough go. And also I looked a certain way and let's, you know, for what it is, I didn't look like what people think an Italian chef should look like. And I took a major beating. And I think that if it wasn't for Bob Tushman, who ran Food Network at the time, who said, you know, we want diversity. And although they had Mario Batali in a chef's coat and who spoke very eloquently about gourmet type of Italian food, we really women are watching us and we want someone who can kind of connect to the women. And it took time, Jonathan. It took several seasons for people to click. And I took a beating because I felt like, oh my God, I'm never going to be able to be taken seriously. And trust me, I went through this in my catering career too. I had wives who were like, you're not coming in

our house. Leave the food at the front door. I don't want my husband around you. It was bad. And I guess I didn't see myself that way. So for me, it was just shocking that people would see me that way. So it took time. It took time. It took a lot of tears. I think that when you are not in front of the camera and then you get thrown in front of it and you get eaten alive, it takes a certain type of physical and mental sort of strength to get you through it. And I'm thankful for my family because without them, I don't know that I would have. It's rough. It's rough. I always tell people, it's tough. It's tough to not look like what people expect you to look like. Yeah.

And later on top of that, you have, as we talked about earlier, there's this big expectation from the family. You said no to us, but you're still carrying the family name forward. So if you choose to step in front of a camera in this medium that we're not a fan of in the first place, you better not fail. Correct. Well, my grandfather said, I think you will fail. So thank God you're not a boy is basically the idea, right? So yes, Jonathan, I did not want to fail. Having said that, I still kept my catering gigs.

So I worked 24-7 because I was like, okay, I didn't get really paid very much at all. I couldn't survive. I was definitely making more money private chefing and catering than I was making on television by a long shot. So I kept my catering gigs and I did my show. So I sort of did both and somehow I survived it, which was a lot. And then one day it just sort of took off.

And before I knew it, there was people interested in a book deal. And I kept thinking, well, why don't I wanna do a book? I've already got all the recipes are already online at that point. Who wants a book? And so I just said, you know, I'm going to run on this treadmill as long as the treadmill's running. And when it's done, then I'm going to get off and hopefully I won't have tarnished my family name and I will keep my dignity and I'll be sane and we'll see

where it goes. And that's really how I thought of it. I did not have any plans. I did not think I would build anything big. I was just trying stuff out. I really was. I was just sort of like, oh, an opportunity, I'll try it. I don't think it should hurt too bad. I think my family would be okay with it.

Let's just see where it goes. And that's really what it was about. Yeah. Mayday, mayday. We've been compromised. The pilot's really what it was about. Yeah. Flight risk. The Apple Watch Series 10 is here. It has the biggest display ever. It's also the thinnest Apple Watch ever, making it even more comfortable on your wrist, whether you're running, swimming, or sleeping. And it's the fastest-charging Apple Watch, getting you eight hours of charge in just 15 minutes.

The Apple Watch Series 10. Available for the first time in glossy jet black aluminum. Compared to previous generations, iPhone Xs are later required. Charge time and actual results will vary. I mean, at that same time, also, you're putting so much energy into trying to figure out this new medium. You're running, sounds like a couple of different businesses, really, private cheffing, catering. 2003 is also a really, really tough year in your life for another reason. Your little brother passes, who I know you're very close with. Yeah.

So my brother was the one that convinced me to do the video in the first place for Food Network. He actually shot it. This is the beginning days of like, he would say to me, I'll follow you to the grocery store and I'll follow you to the dry cleaner. I'll just follow you doing your regular things. I'll have the camera in your face the whole time and you'll get used to talking and it'll be me behind it. I mean, in those days you really couldn't go to the grocery store with a camera. They wouldn't let you, not like today. So, you know, he really helped me get comfortable and he died very shortly after I started. And I think probably still to this day, one of the hardest moments of my life was watching him go. He was also sort of my cooking partner. So was my Rafi,

but my brother was, I don't know. I think we both love food so much and he really tasted a lot of my food when I was testing. And he also lived one house down from me. He rented a house really close. So he'd come over and he'd help me carry stuff to the car. And he'd help, like, he just, he was just a special soul. So to lose him was rough because I lost one of my, basically my best friend. And that was really a difficult time. So I would say that I basically

put my head down, threw myself into work and thought of nothing else for many years. That's almost like work was in part an expressive medium, but also in part a coping mechanism for you. It helped me deny what had happened and it helped me to not have to see my sadness. It just, I was so busy and I made sure I stayed so busy that I wouldn't be able to see or feel anything. Which as we all know, there's no permanent repression of things like that. At some point, it may take months or years or decades, there's got to be a release valve. There's got to be something, some way to process it to move. Yeah. I think the processing happened when I got divorced and then my world just crashed. Also that perfect world I had created came crashing down and I spent a year

just no work, no nothing. I just basically spent a long time crying and therapy and trying to almost do an exorcism of stuff that had been held deep inside that I think was brewing within me and making me sick. And this is in my early 40s. Yeah. I mean, many people go through trauma and have these moments of reckoning where we're dropped to our knees and they're just things that we are invited to figure out. I'm always curious because by the time this happens, you have at that point built a big public career, multiple shows, books, TV appearances. You're sort of regularly living so much of your existence in front of a camera. And First Restaurant is open in Vegas right around then also. When this happens and something

inside of you says, okay, I've got this massive public forward-facing thing that in some way needs to be fed to stay alive. But at the same time, if I don't start feeding myself, I'm not going to stay alive. I'm curious how you process that, where it's saying like, I need to actually step back when so much of your existence is so forward-facing. Yeah. My family was basically my show. Yes, I was the face of it, but it was the entire family, including my daughter, who at the time was just barely five. And, you know, there was a point where I put my foot down and I just, I said to everybody on my team, I just can't, I can't, I need to take a break. I, for my sanity, because I'm going to,

I knew I would eventually just snap if, if I didn't. And luckily the people I have around me gave me the ability to take a breather and gave me space to do what I needed to do. I don't think that everybody gets that opportunity. And it probably also depends on how big you are, you know, more money you generate, the less chances you have of having that. And I think I, at some point, realized if I don't, I won't be able to move forward. And I won't be able to look at myself in the mirror. And I will not make my family proud. I have to figure out how I'm going to reinvent myself. That's really what I was thinking is that chapter of my life is done.

I need to accept the fact that it's over, close that book and start a new chapter. I don't know if it'll be successful or not, but I know one thing, I can cook. And if all hell breaks loose and I have no job in front of the camera, I still have a trade and I can still make a living. So I think that I just kept talking myself through therapy, through meditation, through acupuncture, through diet changes, through quiet, just shutting out the noise. I started to realize, okay, I have a gift that I can cook and I can do that anywhere in the world. And no matter what happens, I can live without this forward facing persona and it's going to be okay. And we're going to reinvent ourselves and it's either going to work or it's not. And if it's not okay, that was a

longer ride than I thought I'd get. That's just what it is. That's the journey. I started to realize it's about the journey, not the end goal. And my journey had to switch roads, basically. I was at a fork in the road and I had to decide which way I was going to go. And I honestly picked my daughter and my sanity over everything else. Yeah. I mean, to make that choice is a powerful one. But also getting back to that place where you get to a moment where you say, okay, what if all of this went away? What if in the blink of an eye, all of this went away? Well, I still have this one thing that I love to do where I can be of service, where people

will always want. And if my worst case scenario is still this thing where actually you'd be okay. And it's interesting how you say a big part of that was also, you're not saying no to a whole bunch of things as much as you're saying yes to your daughter. Right. And you have to remember, Jonathan, I hate to admit this, but the first few years of her life, I went back to work six weeks after I gave birth on a set. Did she come visit? Yeah, but they're stolen moments. I didn't have the luxury to do what a lot of moms do, which is just stay home for a year or go on sabbatical or whatever. Maternity

leave, I didn't. And you know what? That's probably my fault. I didn't make that choice. I was too afraid. I was afraid when I got pregnant. I was like, oh my God, my probably my fault. I didn't make that choice. I was too afraid. I was afraid when I got pregnant. I was like, oh my God, my career's over. I'm now a mom. What? I can't travel the same. I can't. So I tried to do it anyway. And unfortunately, I took on probably way too much. And my daughter suffered and my marriage suffered and I paid the ultimate price for it. And so I guess when that happened, I just realized I have to make it right somehow. And if it means I don't have, I lose this career, I'll get another one. I'll figure it out. You have to also remember, Jonathan, I grew up seeing a lot

of young actors come in and out of my family's life. And I watched people get famous and then crash and get famous and then crash. So I knew that this ride is not going to last forever. I was never under the impression this is going to last forever, probably because I grew up knowing it wasn't. And my grandmother was an actress as well. And she was big. She was Miss Rome. She became a very big actress in Europe. And that ended too. When she grew old, people didn't want her as much. So I know that this is a finite amount of time. And I just thought, okay, if in my forties, it's over, then it's over. I choose the child that I put into this world. And do I grapple with that? Or did I at times? Sure. But I looked at myself in the mirror and I realized,

I feel good. The sun is shining and I feel good. There's just a lot of emotional processing that you're moving through, a lot of re-examining your life and your choices and saying, okay, so from this moment forward, what choices do I want to make differently? And why and how also? because there's a lot of machinery in place built around the choices that you had made up until that point that there's a big ship that needs to start to steer in a different direction. But at the same time, and you write about this a lot in your new book, physically, your body, your wellness, your wellbeing, your mental health is a huge part of it. But physically, I mean, it sounds like your body

had just spent decades at that point taking hit after hit after hit, and it was starting to effectively shut down on you. Yeah. And that my addiction to sugar was ultimately what was breaking my system down because it was breaking my immune system. And it was many factors. It was emotional stress. It was a lot of travel, irregular meals, not always healthy, grabbing. See, I was never a burgers and fries kind of girl. I was more like a piece of cake or cookies. Honestly, Jonathan, a sugar cube dipped in espresso. A couple of those, I was good to go. But they're just as horrible for your body as other things are. So I was addicted to those things and I was foggy and I was always sick. I was on medication 24 seven. And I just felt like something really

bad is going to happen. Like to the point where I'm going to get like cancer or something, I'm going to get an autoimmune, something is going to stop me in my tracks if I don't somehow start paying attention because all the signs were there. But I'd go to New York, I'd have full-blown sinus infection. I'd have to be on the Today Show because at one point, I also co-hosted and I'd have to run to the ENT to get a steroid shot so that I could function in those moments. That's this because that steroid shot lasts you 10 hours, 12 at most, and then you're right back where you started and you got to go back to do it again. And I just realized I can't live like this. I'm not going to make it. I won't see 50 if I continue this route. So I learned a lot about my body. I learned a lot about my mind and I learned that

I am someone that when I'm in it, my body will function. It'll just keep going. The adrenaline will go, but I'll deplete my adrenals so much that when I get off, I can't move. I'm useless. I won't be a good mother. I can't do anything. I can't think straight. I'm cranky. It's just, I'm a horrible human being to be around. And so I realized it just doesn't work. No matter how much my mind wants to do things, certain things, my body just isn't following. So I have to find a balance between the two. They have to be able to live in some kind of harmony. Yeah. I mean, it's interesting to me also. And I want to explore what are the steps that you take to start to move out of this. But zooming the lens out, you described your family. It's kind of a hard-turning family. But one of the big ways is a sacredness around pace, which is like when I remember being in Italy for the first time in my life a few years ago,

and you wander into a little place and you want to grab a cappuccino, there's no such thing as a paper cup there. It's like you get a little porcelain thing and you stand against a little bar and you hang out, or you grab a table out front and you just be. Culturally, the notion of breathing a little more slowly, savoring the moment is so built into it. And that is your heritage and your family and your culture. And it's interesting to see that you built your way into the exact opposite way of being. Yeah. I embraced the American culture that I grew up in. Having said that, at home, when I was growing up, dinner time was a big deal. And we never ate on the run.

And we always sat down to dinner together. And we sat down to breakfast, too. Lunch, we were in school. So a lot of times. But. The Apple Watch Series 10 is here. It has the biggest display ever. It's also the thinnest Apple Watch ever, making it even

more comfortable on your wrist, whether you're running, swimming, or sleeping. And it's the fastest charging Apple Watch, getting you eight hours of charge in just 15 minutes. The Apple Watch Series X, available for the first time in glossy jet black aluminum. Compared to previous generations, iPhone Xs are later required. Charge time and actual results will vary. Mayday, mayday. We've been compromised. The pilot's a hitman. I knew you were gonna be fun. On January 24th

Tell me how to fly this thing. Mark Wahlberg. You know what the difference between me and you is? You're gonna die. Don't shoot him, we need him! Y'all need a pilot? Flight Risk I think I was torn between the two lives. And I think that for me, we have this sort of sensibility here in the U.S. that if you're not working 24-7 and if you don't get up at 7 a.m. and start working or 6 a.m. or 5 a.m., even if it's a workout, take a shower, go to work, you work till 5, 6, 7. The longer you work, the better person you're going to be and the more successful you're going to be.

But that's not true. That's not true. That's why in Europe, they take two hour lunches or they take a siesta in the afternoon. Like my grandfather, to the day he died, he still did that. He sat down for lunch. He sat down for breakfast. He took his afternoon nap and no one took it away from him. And he was uber successful and he did everything he wanted to do. Having said that, I couldn't figure that lifestyle out either that, or I couldn't explain it to myself. I just couldn't. I think we've gotten to a better place now where we accept that from people, but a lot of people, you know, look at others and like, huh, lazy. Look at you.

You're doing nothing. It's three o'clock in the afternoon. Shouldn't you be doing something? Shouldn't you be working? Shouldn't you be doing something? But it's okay if you just want to stare at the wall for 20 minutes or an hour and just decompress. But we don't, our society doesn't really allow for that.

And I think I forgot. I forgot, you know, the culture that I grew up in and I decided to go a different direction. And now I find myself right back there again because I can't survive without it. point and you're like, okay, so life needs to look different moving forward and sort of like reconnecting to a lot of values from earlier in life. I mean, what's the path forward for you? Because there are a lot of different ways that you could go at that point. I mean, and you're in a position where you have choices that you can make. So I'm curious why you made the choices you made when you said, this is the way things need to be moving anxious and frustrated and not appreciate anything. And I was tired of rushing through everything, even with like the simple things as either playing with my daughter or doing homework with her. At times I sensed like, I'm obviously tired because I'm rushing her through it.

Come on, how can you not understand that? It's two plus two. Like, how do you not get that? It's two plus two. How do you not get that? Didn't they teach you that? And I would look at her and she would look at me and just be like, mom, I just need a minute. I need a minute. And I would leave the room and I would think, okay, this isn't right.

What am I doing? And just that fogginess of trying to realize, calm down. What is so important you got to get to? And just fitting everything in. And I think when I wasn't working, I was trying to fit in everything else that I hadn't done because of guilt, because of anxiety. And so I think all I really wanted was peace, to not feel anxious of anything. Now that's obviously not possible in our world, but I started to realize that I slowed everything down. And I started to say, okay, I'm going to only work Monday through Thursday, Friday's off. I'm going to hang with my daughter on Fridays, including the weekend. I only going to do one, like even for this particular time now, leading up to my book launch, one podcast

a day. I'm not doing more than that. I want to have the time to be present in the things that I'm doing rather than always thinking about the next thing that I'm doing. That lowers my anxiety. I want to have time to cook meals for myself and my family that I didn't have time to do things. I was just rushing through them all. I want to enjoy the moments that I'm in the kitchen. I want to enjoy walking my dog. I want to enjoy reading with my daughter, even if we're doing a TikTok together. I want to enjoy those moments and not rush through them. So work was number one, was what I started to just kind of just really make sure that I only picked the things that made the most sense for me and that I really wanted to do. And then diet was the other one that was really important to me. Really taking time to eat good meals, thinking about what I was eating, because a lot of the time I didn't eat until like three o'clock in the afternoon, just because I was running. And I was always fearful that, oh, if I eat too much, I won't have the energy that I need, or I'll just have another espresso

or I'll have, and really taking the time because it was never about weight for me. Luckily, I never had that issue, but even though people couldn't see it on the outside, I didn't feel good on the inside. I just didn't. I felt stomach pains all the time, bloating all the time. I'd eat stuff and I wouldn't digest it. Then you get cranky, right? You get foggy. My sinuses would act up when I was allergic to something. I'd get rashes. Like your body's just trying desperately to process. And I think meditation in the morning, even if it's like five minutes or less. Acupuncture. When I'm busy, I do acupuncture once a week. It forces me to relax.

And I take a lot of supplements. And I try to buy and cook the best foods I can for myself. And those are the things I wanted to have time to do that I just, I didn't before. Yeah. I mean, it's about, it's like a bit of a reclamation, you know, it's about simplicity and savoring, which it's, you know, the funny thing is we all know these things, right? We've known them since we were kids. It sounds so ridiculous. It really does. Right. It's like, we're looking for the magic bullet and the hack and the technology. And it's like, oh no, wait a minute. We've always known this stuff. I think that the pandemic has helped us slow down. We've been forced to and reimagine our lives.

Hmm. One of the things that you mentioned is food was a big part of the way that you were changing, making the choices that you were making, really looking at food as not just a creative channel, which it is for you, not just a form of service and love, which it is for you, not just a way to earn a living, but kind of like as medicine, which is where a lot of functional medicine has gone over the last really 15, 20 years. But it's more complicated. I'm curious about this for you because you've built a career around a particular way of creating food and offering food. And it's not entirely different than sort of like the way that you learned, okay, this is how I have to shift my eating.

But when you think about, okay, so I've been doing this publicly and cooking all these different things and offering these things and creating recipes and based largely on taste and savoring. And then you sort of say, okay, so I need to personally change what I'm putting into my body and the way I'm preparing it. But There's a tension there, isn't there? To sort of like, how do I reckon these two things? And how do I bring them together maybe in a way where you get the best of both worlds? Well, that was the tough part about this book. And I've always said that it's not the food so much or the ingredients technically that are the enemy,

it's how much of those things we're eating. And when I first started eliminating things because of my functional medicine doctor and because of Eastern medicine with my acupuncturist, dairy was difficult for me. Wheat was difficult for me. Sugar was difficult, but didn't have the same sort of repercussions that dairy and wheat had. Caffeine also difficult. And I was told by my functional medicine doctor and my acupuncturist, you need to cut those out. And I said to them, I can't cut them out. That's what I do for a living. How do I go and do my show? I have to taste food. Oh, just spit it out. I can't spit it out. Beyond the fact that I don't want to spit it out. Can you imagine if people thought I spit out my food? Forget it. I'm done.

It's over. And they're like, well, it is wreaking havoc on your body. So you need to figure it out. You need to make some adjustments. I'm like, yeah, but this is my life. It isn't like I'm an actor who can just go on a cleanse and doesn't have to ever have to eat dairy again. I do this for a living. I have to eat it. So yes, it was very difficult. And I tried many different things.

So what I came to understand was that when I'm really busy and I'm traveling a lot and I have not done my due diligence, I come home and I do a three-day cleanse. And when I say three-day cleanse, I clean out my diet, meaning no dairy, no wheat, that means pasta, no sugar, no alcohol, none of it. And I eat super clean. So that's like smoothies. And sometimes I don't even eat nuts because they're so difficult on my body. And I cut down on avocado and olive oil, like all those fats, because I unfortunately have a gallbladder who doesn't like to work very hard. So the process. So I really cleanly steamed brown rice. I make my own chicken broths. I cook in batches, lentils, stuff like that.

And I make these very, very simple meals that at the beginning I said, I told my publisher, people are going to be like, I don't want to eat that way. That's disgusting. That's exactly what I don't want to do. So I thought, okay, but I do a three-day cleanse and then the rest of the time, I just eat less of things. So instead of using two cups of Parmesan cheese or two cups of cheese, I reduced the amounts to half a cup. Instead of making a whole bag of pasta, you can make half a bag of pasta. So you eat whatever the vegetables or whatever that go with the sauce, you eat less pasta. So I started to reintroduce and reincorporate the things I love that are very much a part of Italian cooking, but less of it. So it's almost like the idea of pasta on the side, just like meat on the side,

instead of the protein or the animal fat being the main thing like a steak with a side of spinach and a side of potato. It's the potato and the spinach with a side of steak. And it was sort of the approach I started to take with everything. The idea that we have to find moderation in how we eat. So you can clean your system out, which really helps give a break to your body and your organs to process. And then you slowly reintroduce those items that you like. Now, when it comes to French fries and that kind of stuff, be your best judge. And if you really want it, have it, but then don't have it again for like three weeks. So it's the idea of finding that moderation. Do I still eat

pasta? Yes. Sometimes is it gluten-free? Yes. Does it always have Parmesan cheese? Yes. And I also wanted people to understand that the quality of the ingredients you're using makes a giant, giant difference in how you're going to feel when you reintroduce them. And I realized that they're expensive and a lot of people can't afford it. So that's why I say to them, buy a piece of Parmesan cheese that you grate yourself. Just use a little bit at a time. It actually does well for a long time in the fridge. And just use small amounts and stretch it out so that your money kind of got to get stretched out. Because there's a lot of things that I had to think about when doing this. Also, like I didn't want to tell people to

buy a big bag of coconut sugar and they only use a tablespoon. What are they using coconut sugar for anything else? Like how else can I tell people you're going to invest in these ingredients and I'm going to show you how best to use them so that you still eat well, satisfied, but the level of ingredients you're using are better for you. And so there were a lot of different moving parts to this sort of transformation. So this book is a little bit lighter than a lot of my other books. You know, you won't see a baked lasagna with bechamel. You know, you will see a bolognese with impossible meat though. And I have to tell you, looking at all the photos in this book,

it still looks pretty incredible. Well, I'm trying to make it sexy and delicious, right? So that's what I'm trying to do. I'm trying to show you like you can live this lifestyle and you can feel great, but the food can look delicious, satisfying. And at the end of the day, sexy, because that is really the encompassing brand of what I do is that it looks romantic and authentic and Italian. And you're trying to capture that moment in time of beauty. Yeah. I mean, I love that because there's some, you know, it's interesting you brought up, you know, this, the time we're moving through right now where certain people

who become infected, one of the things that they do is they lose their sense of taste and smell. And I think in the early days, a lot of people were kind of like, that's not such a big deal. So maybe you're just not hungry as often. And now we're seeing that in some research that's coming out that it's actually triggering very real depression in certain people because we didn't realize until a sense is taken away from us, especially taste and smell, we don't realize how much those contribute to our experience of life, to the things that we interact with, the way that we savor moments. Even if we never eat something, if we even just being around it or having the slightest taste of it, and that when that in the blink of an eye goes away,

there can be a real profound emotional effect for a lot of people. So I think a lot of folks are sort of like awakening to that. You know, it's interesting also that the way that you approach this, you know, kind of coming full circle back to, okay, so part of your reclamation of your own health is, let me really dive into sort of clean eating and functional medicine. But also, you know, when you look at the long-term studies of the way that people have eaten in the blue zones where they're the healthiest, the classic Mediterranean diet is one of the things that so many people point to. And a lot of people in the paleo movement and stuff like this are like, no, no, no, that's filled with all the things that are evil and you can never

have. And yet so many folks who have been living this way for generations are amongst the healthiest people. And it's when they introduce a Western diet that things change. And a lot of it has to do, I think, with what you were sharing, which is it's the quality of the ingredients. Flour is not flour is not flour. Grain is not grain is not grain. And pasta is not pasta. It's not the same. Right. And that actually makes a profound difference in its potential inflammatory effect in your body. But also, like you said, portion sizes, you know, in this country, in the US, and we have an international, you know, like amazing listening community, but especially in the

US and Western countries, it's really portion size has exploded where you can have the exact same thing in Europe and you would probably have half the amount of food on your plate and you would eat a lot slower. So your satiety mechanisms would kick in and you would actually feel like you were completely satisfied. So a lot of what you're talking about is, yes, changing recipes, but also like you were saying, it's kind of shifting just the approach to the way that we nourish ourselves. And it's a connection between the senses, the digestion, the chew, it all works with the brain

and the endorphins that you get. So when Italians eat dinner or whatever, I'm just taking Italians because that's my culture, but Europeans in general, it's a slow burn, meaning they take their time. They talk, they take breaks, they drink some wine. It's a whole experience. It's not just the dish. They're not in a hurry to get through dinner to get to something else. And all of that connects. So for so long in Western medicine, we've been looking at things separately, right? My stomach is separate from my brain is separate from my arm, but really they all work in tandem as a whole.

And that's what functional medicine has done. And that's what I think for a long while I got away from. I had it as a kid and growing up with my family, but then somehow I moved away from it. And you look at my mother who's 70, who's unbelievably healthy. And she has always had alcohol. She's drank a glass of wine since I can remember because I used to pour it for her when I was a kid. She eats bread. She eats pasta. But how much does she eat?

Small amounts, many times a day. And she moves. Does she work out? Like, no, she just walks. You know, I think we're starting to realize now that we're so connected with all of our parts that one thing isn't exclusive of the other. And that's why in this book, half the book is me talking about inflammation and where my mind was at and yoga and acupuncture and functional medicine and supplements, because

they all go hand in hand. They all go hand in hand and you can eat a really healthy diet, but if you have high stress and you take no time for yourself and you're always going, chances are it won't matter. It just, it won't matter. And that's, you know, I think people struggle is changing the actual down to the core of how we live our lives here. And it's just very different in other parts of the world. It just is. Yeah. It feels like a good place for us to come full circle as well.

So hanging out in this container of good life project, if I offer up the phrase to live a good life, what comes up? I think it's just as basic as hoping to see the sunshine every day and I'd like to smile first thing in the morning when I look at myself in the mirror because then I know the day is going to be great thank you thank you this was really lovely thank you so much for listening and thanks also to our fantastic sponsors who help make this show possible. You can check them out in the links we have included in today's show notes. And while you're at it, if you've ever asked yourself, what should I do with my life?

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making it even more comfortable on your wrist, whether you're running, swimming, or sleeping. And it's the fastest-charging Apple Watch, getting you eight hours of charge in just 15 minutes. The Apple Watch Series X. Available for the first time in glossy jet black aluminum. Compared to previous generations, iPhone Xs are later required.

Charge time and actual results will vary. Mayday, mayday. We've been compromised. The pilot's a hitman. I knew you were gonna be fun. On January 24th... Tell me how to fly this thing. Mark Wahlberg.

You know what the difference between me and you is? You're gonna die. Don't shoot him! We need him! Y'all need a pilot?