Good Life Project - Hoping Others Fail Is Not a Strategy

Episode Date: August 6, 2015

We see it around us every day. And, yes, we've been that person.The one who wants something so badly we'll take it any way we can get it. Including hoping the person or organization we're up against, our competition has a really bad day.But, is that really winning? Is that what it's all about? No matter the "objective score," will it make us feel the way we want to feel?Or, will it lead to a paper win, but a hollow heart?Beating someone else's bad day isn't the same as stepping into your best.What if you could go about it differently? What if you could reframe winning on both a deeper and larger scale?What if you could not only win, but change the zero-sum structure of most games in a way that elevated not only you, but the human condition.That's what this week's GLP Riff is all about. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Today's episode is brought to you by Camp Good Life Project. Now, you guys have probably heard me jamming about this. For a couple of months now, we literally take over a kid's sleepaway camp about 90 minutes outside of New York City for three and a half days at the end of August. And if you're listening to this in real time, that's just about a month from now. So it's coming up really soon. And we bring together an amazing group of entrepreneurs, makers, movers, and shakers, people who are really just inspired by a shared set of values and beliefs and aspirations. You can work in a huge corporation. You can be a solo artist. It's really about this beautiful

community and shared values to create three and a half days of what can only be described as pure magic and intense learning. So if that sounds interesting to you, if you feel like the end of August, that would be a great place for you to be. And you could really use those three and a half days as a complete mind, body, business, life perspective reset. Go check out the details at goodlifeproject.com slash camp. The name of today's Good Life Project, Griff, is Hoping Others Fail Is Not A Strategy.

So it was a couple of years back and I'm thinking in my mind, please miss, please miss. Dear God, please let them miss. We've all been there, whether in the final moments of that big game at the gathering where somebody else dared to move in on your, you know, quote, person of interest, gearing up for a big debate, a presentation, demo day, sales, a job pitch competition, professional or personal. We've all been in that place where we're sitting there thinking to themselves, oh God, please let them not be on their game. Please let them not be

at their best because I want this. But here's the deal. Hoping others fail is not a strategy. It's a travesty. Zero-sum game situations still, do rule a good part of life. And when they do, we've generally got a two-step strategy. Step one, do our best. And step two, hope that the, quote, competition screws up. So a couple thoughts on this. One, what if we added a step 0.5? What if we asked, does this really have to be a zero-sum game?

Is there some way to change the bigger construct to allow everyone to win? It's possible more often than you'd imagine, but people don't go there because we've never been trained to think beyond kill or be killed. We've never been trained to think, can I actually change the bigger construct? Can I change the game we're all playing, not just who wins? And two, even if there is no conceivable way to add the above step and change the fundamental nature of the challenge, so like the Olympics, for example, come to mind. I'd rather know that I got the gig,

that I ended up with what I wanted. Maybe I was on top. Maybe I got number one. Not because I was the one who didn't screw up or screwed up least, but because I kicked some serious ass. Because I showed up, I gave everything I had, and I was at my best when I needed to be. There's not a lot of glory or intrinsic reward in knowing that you were better

than somebody else's bad day. Better to win by excellence than attrition. Okay, so let's actually add a number three here too. Better to lose out of humanity and compassion than win with impunity. Runner Megan Vogel is a really powerful example. She was in a, I believe it was a college meet, and this became a really big story a couple of years back. There was a story written about it, actually, Doug Biner wrote on ESPN. I want to just share a few sentences from what he wrote. So he writes, Vogel, a junior runner for West Liberty Salem High School, won the 1600 meter title Saturday at the Division III girls state meet at Jesse Owens Stadium in Columbus. But it's what she did in her next race that was most remarkable. With about 20 meters to go in the 3200, Arden McGrath, a sophomore from Arlington High School, collapsed in front of

Vogel. Rather than run by her, Vogel helped McGrath to her feet and carried her across the finish line, making sure to keep McGrath ahead of her. There's actually a really compelling, beautiful, inspiring video of this online. The thing is, what Vogel did, that's the real power move. She exchanged a place in a race for a moment that not only defined her character, but moved a nation. So when you're thinking about that world out there, when you're thinking about the games and the construct and the nature, and you're thinking about your deep, fierce desire to win, to get what you want, take a step back and ask, how can I actually score a bigger win here? How can I score a bigger win by reconnecting with my own humanity and allowing that to emerge as the source

of my being and my joy and my purpose. I hope you found this riff valuable. As always, I enjoy sharing these moments with you guys every week. I'm Jonathan Fields, signing off for Good Life Project. you