Good Life Project - How to Be Unstoppable | Oksana Masters

Episode Date: May 15, 2023

We want to hear from YOU! Take our survey.Born in 1989 Ukraine with extensive physical challenges, missing bones and parts of limbs, muscle,s and organ tissue due to in-utero radiation poisoning from the Chernobyl nuclear disaster, Oksana Masters was left to fend for herself in an orphanage. The world was stacked against her, and the conditions in the three orphanages she endured were, as she described, truly brutal. But, she refused to give up.Then, at age 7, she’d find herself adopted by a single, American mom, whose own years-long journey to bring Oksana home is its own astonishing story. The simple fact that she survived is remarkable. But, she didn’t just survive, once in her home, enduring multiple additional surgeries and amputations, her indomitable spirit refused to let anyone tell her what she could or could not do. And, nearly a decade later, she’d end up stunning not just her mom, and the local community, but the entire world, becoming the United States' most decorated winter Paralympic or Olympic athlete, taking home seventeen medals in four different sports. She has since been featured everywhere from Sports Illustrated to The New York Times and has written a powerful memoir, The Hard Parts: A Memoir of Courage and Triumph, that recounts her astonishing journey from the shadow of Chernobyl to the world's biggest stages. In today’s deeply moving and inspiring conversation, you'll discover:How an unwavering spirit can conquer the most daunting physical challenges.The power of love, support, and perseverance in overcoming trauma and adversity.The importance of embracing your unique differences and using them to your advantage.What it takes to excel in not just one, but four different sports on the world stage.The life-changing impact of a single decision to never give up.And so much more.Join us as we explore the extraordinary life of Oksana Masters, and learn how she turned her greatest challenges into her most exceptional victories. How she became unstoppable, and showed the world what was possible. You can find Oksana at: Website | InstagramIf you LOVED this episode you’ll also love the conversations we had with Kyle Bryant about how to transform challenges into action.Check out our offerings & partners: My New Book SparkedMy New Podcast SPARKED. To submit your “moment & question” for consideration to be on the show go to sparketype.com/submit. Visit Our Sponsor Page For Great Resources & Discount Codes Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

2008, I wanted to make the Beijing Games and I didn't. And that loss was what made me realize how much I wanted to do this. And that's where I think I learned what I wanted. I learned my identity. I learned my passion, my purpose. And I am so happy to have not made the Games my first time around because it lit a fire that just, I can't imagine my life without that just burning and fueling me for everything that I do now. So born in 1989, Ukraine, in the shadow of the Chernobyl nuclear disaster, my guest today, Oksana Masters, was really left to fend for herself in an orphanage. And that wasn't all. She also was left struggling with pretty extensive physical challenges from missing bones and parts of limbs

to muscle and organ tissue due to in utero radiation poisoning from that very disaster. And the world was really stacked against her. And the conditions in the three orphanages that she would endure, as she described, were truly brutal. But she refused to give up at every step along the way until at age seven, she would find herself adopted by a single American mom whose own years-long journey, by the way, to bring Oksana home is its own astonishing story. The simple fact that she survived is remarkable, but she didn't just survive. Once in her new home and during multiple additional surgeries and amputations over the years, her indomitable spirit, it just, it refused to let anyone tell her what she could or could not do. She was unstoppable and she would not let anyone say anything else. And nearly a decade

later, Oksana would end up stunning not just her mom and the local community, but the entire world, becoming the United States' most decorated winter Paralympic or even Olympic athlete, taking home 17 medals in four different sports. She has since been featured everywhere from Sports Illustrated to the New York Times, has written a powerful memoir, The Hard Parts, a memoir of courage and triumph that recounts her incredible journey from the shadow of Chernobyl to the world's biggest stages. And in today's conversation, you'll discover how really this unwavering spirit can conquer the most daunting physical challenges.

You learn about how the power of love and support and perseverance can help overcome trauma and adversity or the importance of embracing your unique differences and using them to your advantage. What it takes to excel in not just one, but four different sports on an elite world stage level. And we really dive into the life-changing impact of a single decision to never give up that led to a series of decisions for the world to show up, for her to keep showing up, for her mom and the community to keep showing up so that she could accomplish incredible things. And while this story is about her, everything that we explore is about the human

condition. It's about how we show up every day, how we meet adversity, how we meet struggle and challenge, and how we ourselves can say yes to doing more and being more and becoming more, not because we're living up to someone else's standard, but because we want to be alive in this time that we have on the planet. So excited to share this conversation with you. I'm Jonathan Fields, and this is Good Life Project. It has the biggest display ever. It's also the thinnest Apple Watch ever, making it even more comfortable on your wrist, whether you're running, swimming, or sleeping.

And it's the fastest-charging Apple Watch, getting you eight hours of charge in just 15 minutes. The Apple Watch Series X. Available for the first time in glossy jet black aluminum. Compared to previous generations, iPhone XS or later required, charge time and actual results will vary. Mayday, mayday. We've been compromised. The pilot's a hitman. I knew you were going to be fun. January 24th. Tell me how to fly this thing. Mark Wahlberg. You know

what's the difference between me and you? You're going to die. Don't shoot him. We need him. Y'all need a pilot? Flight Risk. As we have this conversation, you have spent a lot of years in the world of elite level athletics and won an astonishingly large amount of competitions in different sports representing the United States. But let's take a step back in time because the journey that got you to this place is really powerful and unique in a lot of different ways. You're born in 89 in the shadow of Chernobyl in Ukraine. And I'm thinking this is actually, this is a long time ago now. And there will probably be some folks who are listening to this conversation who don't even really have an understanding of what happened. So share a little bit about

sort of like the circumstances around what actually happened just a couple of years before you were born. Yes, I actually didn't really, because it happened a couple of years before I was born. I think it was like three years. we weren't educated in the orphanage of what happened and what it was or why we were born the way we were. But in short, it was a huge nuclear power plant that is now in an area in Ukraine that's called Chernobyl where it was. And it leaked and there was a massive malfunction and a massive explosion happened and an immense amount of radiation just went into the air. What people don't realize, radiation levels, it's been rising and it's continuing to rise. And the radiation levels that are in the ground, there's like a large amount of the soil and the crops in everyone's homes, it's kind of like a dead area because

there's nothing that can survive there. People are getting sick if you do go there. And that's exactly what happened is when my birth mom was traveling, the radiation levels kept rising and rising and rising. They contained it till as much as they could. She ate something that was affected when she was traveling. It was in the areas close enough that it had that much of effect on my developing process when I was in her stomach. And I think that's something people are like, oh, but how is that possible when that happened three years after you were born? And I think that's the staggering, scary side of radiation and what can happen. It still happens to kids being born. So you're born with certain birth defects. You're different than a

lot of other kids. And at that point, you described her as your birth mom. You end up, it sounds like pretty immediately in an orphanage. And this is not an orphanage. This is not what we think about in terms of the foster system or even places in the United States.'re also dealing with physical challenges. It turns into just an experience that sounds like it's filled with fear. It's filled with struggles, filled with challenge, literally every day of your very young life. Yeah. And what the scary side of that is, that became my normal and my outlook in life too. And I didn't know anything different besides when you see the kids that get to go home and see the spark of life in their eyes of like, oh my gosh, I get a family and a home to go to. And no foster care or orphanage, nothing is good to grow up there at all, but extremely more so in Eastern European places as someone that needed so many different medical care that wasn't provided in that area where I was in Ukraine, where it just, it was pretty staggering the amount of surgeries I was going to need.

And the difference with my orphanage too, so there's internats and there's like orphanages or baby homes. And the internats are owned, are government ran, kind of like how we think of what the foster care is kind of through that system, but in a very different way. And then the ones that are orphanages are more run and organized by the local communities there. The most corruption, the most just dark experiences happen in the government orphanages because it also was just a lot of corruption in that area as well. So you described needing a lot of medical care and a lot of surgeries. Tell me what was actually arm and or leg, but the type of the impairment is exactly the same related to just a standard, I don't know, like just mouth formation

or something in the stomach. But for me, I had both of my legs, but I was missing the weight bearing bones. And then the non-weight bearing bone. I did not pay attention enough in school. So I totally get confused if it's like, is it anatomy? Is it like the tibia or the fibula? So I think it's like, I didn't have the main weight-bearing bones were like the tibias. I think that's right. Yeah. I didn't pay enough attention either, apparently in a high school bio. Well, I didn't also, I'm like, I don't have legs. Why do I need to know about the anatomy of a leg too? But little did I know, it probably would have been helpful. The tibia looked like the bone of it on both sides that someone took a salt shaker and just spread it around. It wasn't a fully formed bone. And the knees and there was discrepancy in the leg length. My hands, my toes were webbed. I had

six toes. My hands were webbed. I do not have a normal hand. It's my little claw, my little T-Rex claw. When I came to America, they did a whole lot of reconstruction surgeries. But in addition to just the physical of my hands and my legs, I'm missing part of my stomach and my kidney and don't have any enamel in my teeth. And radiation's the one thing that can strip it in neutral in a family or in your mom's stomach. And then I also am missing some muscles too in my arm. So my right side will never look jacked because I don't have the full bicep, but that's okay. I'm overcompensated with my triceps and making sure. But it's an amount of the things that my body has a lot of deformities on is just all a result of radiation exposure.

And also where I grew up in the orphanage around the Fulnitsky, there's still nuclear power plants that are active to this day there. And I remember there'd be a cop that would go around and say, we're having a leak just to don't come outside at all, let the air die down and let the levels of the radiation go down, and then you go out. So I think it didn't help the fact that I had a massive exposure when I was in utero. And then also there were still constant exposures after being born. When you're in that state and then you're in an orphanage, which alone is, as you described,

it's a whole different universe and not a good one with a lot of corruption and you have a lot of needs. Everybody around you, it sounds like every other kid, no matter where they came from, what the level of physical ability or challenge was in a really profoundly difficult place and state. If you remember back to then, did you differentiate sort of like your level of challenge or struggle from theirs or were you kind of like all in it together? No, this is the wild thing. I didn't know I was different or my, or the, the seven other orphans. I, well, I guess in some ways we knew we were different, but didn't knew that the different was we're disabled and how bad it was in the

negative side of it because it was a government ran institution. Part of it was like a boarding school, but not the boarding school that you think of where you get this amazing education and all this stuff. It was where families didn't have the resources or the money to actually raise their kids at home. So they would pay X amount, very little to the government. And then they would stay there and get their education. We have room and board and food there. And then on holidays or whenever they wanted to, they could leave and come back. So there were like at a time around 300 kids, there were seven of us that were, and they were all healthy, able-bodied, no disability that

I knew of. I didn't even know what disability was then. I knew that from that, I guess like they got around different. I didn't think I was disabled or we were disabled, the seven of us that were there, until I came to America and people started pointing out, oh, I walk weird. Oh, my hands are weird. Oh, like, why do you look so weird? What's wrong with you? And it's kind of interesting as a kid, like all your mind and everything's everything's being formed already and how like you view the world and how you view yourself and stuff. And, and I was always a very physical, active kid. So I'd never thought anything different of like, I get around differently. I just think like, okay, well, I want to go up the stairs. I want to run down the hallway as much as I can too. And I guess the only way, not only, but we really bonded close to some of the darker times in the orphanage. And then especially when we're all really, really hungry, we all knew what that

feeling was. And so we would try and save food and try and help each other in that and bond over that, not necessarily our bodies were different and bond over that, if that makes sense. Yeah. It's really difficult to fathom the fact that the first time that you actually sort of like realize you're different in a way where maybe other people are judging you is when you actually come to America and which you would figure would be the place where you start to actually really like, there's all these benefits, there's medical care, there's family, there's community. And yet this is the place where a certain label starts to

get placed on you that you never placed on yourself or felt in those early days. And the weird thing about that was too, the time that label was being placed on me was the exact same time I was, so I didn't speak English when I came here. So I was learning a whole nother language. And so I was learning a whole new home, a whole new language, and then learning that I was different. And so I think why I grew up with such a hard time accepting my body is because my first words about my body were what I heard from other kids and didn't know how to understand that. And that is a whole different thing to try and process when those are the first words you're learning about yourself and then to relearn and retrain society, but also retrain

your mind and how you view yourself also. Yeah. It's like those are the first, I mean, you're literally having to learn an entire new way to communicate a new language. And the first words that you're hearing are the ones that describe you as being other. Yeah. Which has got to be, I mean, brutal experience no matter what age you are, but especially at that age, really young and formative. Talk to me more about the experience of leaving the orphanage because you end up adopted by a mom who's in Buffalo, New York. But apparently this was not like a couple of weeks and this whole thing happened. This was a multi-year process with a huge amount of challenge. So walk me through this a little bit and what was actually happening with the woman who had become your mom. Yeah. And so I actually talk a lot more about my

mom's side of this journey that I actually had no idea more about in my book, but it was just bad timing for my mom. She was also adopting me as a single parent. And it's extra challenging. The adoption agencies for international and both in Ukraine and in the U.S. had to take so many extra psychiatric tests and find out, well, what's wrong with you? Why aren't you married? And just always hounded her on that. Because at that time, it still is, but not nearly what it was in 97 when my 95, when she tried to in 97, when she got me to try and adopt. And she, there was some like

political things and what ultimately happened. So she found out about when I was five and then there's a moratorium that was put on all foreign adoptions, like a ban in Ukraine. And then also on the U S side, there was one that was put on afterwards. And they told her, we don't know when these adoptions will be, like the ban will be lifted at all. You can go and adopt a baby from Russia. You can get that baby within a few weeks. And at that time, she already submitted the paperwork and was, I don't know what she saw in that picture, that black and white creepy picture of me that I think is creepy, not good, having a good hair day.

Thank God for her heart because she bonded with that and something in it and that with me. And she was telling everyone, this is my daughter. I'm going to wait for her as long as it takes, but she didn't know during that process. And she thought I didn't know anything about her. The orphanage directors did not tell me about my mom, but they did because I was asking to look at her picture every single day. And I would just try. And it was a little small passport picture that she had to submit with the adoption process. And that's the picture of the director of the orphanage would let me look at. And I just memorized it. And it was hard

because I didn't know why it was taking so long to get her before them telling me, like, Oksana, we're going to have a new mom. She's in America. She's going to come here to get you. I had two other specific family members I remember so vividly that told me I was going to be part of their family. They were going to be my new mom and dad, but then they'd never come back for you. So I got used to that, used to being forgotten because that was just the normal. So I didn't want to get my hopes up, but with her looking in that picture and her eyes, I kind of felt like it was different. And then ultimately what ended up happening in that process was the director of the orphan. I was a very mischievous and just troubled maker child.

I did not. I was not that good girl that would just like, it's like, don't touch that button. I'd be like this one. And I would push it entirely. They started saying that, well, it's because you're a bad girl. This is why your mom doesn't want to come. She knows it. She sees what you're doing. And when it's a year and a half later and she's still not there, you're like, oh my gosh, she does see I'm a bad kid and she doesn't want me because of this. And when the ban lifted, she ultimately went to Ukraine and got me. And even when she got to Ukraine, there was a whole lot of trouble.

It was her. And then my Aunt Sherry went with her. My Aunt Sherry is the courageous, adventurous one. My mom is the very cautious one that's like, oh my gosh. And there was this kind of history. She saved my life in that because it was so easy for her in that moment during that hard time. It's just like, I don't think I can do this while still having people show her other pictures of other kids. The wild thing about this, Jonathan, is that she wanted a baby.

She didn't want a seven-year-old opinionated girl either, which I was very opinionated and thought I had the world figured out at that point. All in Ukrainian. Whether you're running, swimming, or sleeping. And it's the fastest-charging Apple Watch, getting you eight hours of charge in just 15 minutes. The Apple Watch Series X. Available for the first time in glossy jet black aluminum. Compared to previous generations, iPhone XS or later required, charge time and actual results will vary. Mayday, mayday. We've been compromised.

The pilot's a hitman. I knew you were gonna be fun. January 24th. Tell me how to fly this thing. Mark Wahlberg. so do you remember the moment that that you first saw her there for you after almost two years at that point, and maybe hanging onto the belief that maybe this would still work, but with every passing day, probably being less sure? Yeah, I was less sure, but I'll never forget the day when I met her because it ended up being at night. She was supposed to come during the day, but because of flight delays and all that stuff, that life happens. She ended up getting in late at night and I threw the biggest hissy fit because they told me she was coming that afternoon. And I thought if I go to bed, she's not going to come.

Like it's going to all go away if I close my eyes. And I didn't want to. So I was just like, no, no. And I was just that brat like I was talking about my life and their hard life, extra hard. And ultimately I went to bed and my mom, my aunt Sherry were on the, man, I'm direction. I'm like so directionally challenged. I used to remember my lefts and rights because my left leg was amputated. So I'm like, okay, left. I'm missing the leg, right? I'm not missing a leg, but now they're both gone. So I'm like, oh my gosh, which is my left and right? But she kneels down with a translator

and the director of the orphanage. And they wake me up and they say, Oksana, do you know who this is in Ukrainian? My mom is wearing this dark black long coat with this fur around it because it's in winter in Ukraine. And I look at her and I'm like, the first thing I said in Ukrainian to her was,

I know you, you're my mom. I have your picture. And I got out that picture that they let me go to bed with that night next to my bed stand. So I would stop throwing that hissy fit. And it looks like an elephant, like a Dumbo. And that was the first toy I've ever received and never had and never saw and never felt. So it was the first time I went to bed with a smile on my face and felt so content to be in that place where it was for the longest time, the scariest place to be. When you end up going back with her, as you described at that point, you're not speaking English. So I imagine the next couple of years for you and her as she's learning how to relate to you, you're learning how to relate to her, you're learning an entirely new language and way of being. And also as you described, some of the words, the first words that you're hearing are starting to really describe you as like how you're different than everybody else, beyond the fact that you've actually just lived in an orphanage and you come

from a different country. In those earlier days, if you can think back to it, I'm curious what it was like for you to start to find new ground and entirely new place. On the one hand, you've got a mom, you've got a family, you've got safety for the first time in your life, but there's just a profound level of adapting and change that you're dealing with at the same time. I think that's the beauty of also like kids are so resilient and so adaptable on the fly. They don't think about it. They just do it. And I think that part of being so physical and hands-on and just always active, mixed in being with a kid and just trying to, I never, I grew up that, like trying, I was trying to keep up and I had to keep up.

Otherwise I wouldn't survive in the orphanage. So it was just like a part of my DNA already. But my mom also, she knew when I would come to America, I would need to have multiple surgeries. The first one being amputating my first leg. But because that first year she wanted to wait when we got to America to bond to her. So like you were saying, like adapting to the new surroundings of the new language and to what a mom is and what a home is and what a family is and trust. And I grew so much within the first few months. And my mom said it was food, but a lot of it was just the human touch and affection that stimulates the growth hormones to also do that. And I was very active and just loved to always feel like adapting was so natural for me because of the environment that

I came from. And it was becoming really hard. I got my first like amputated and that was pretty easy to be honest, because it was planned. So The doctors knew what they were going to have to do. And a year later, after I've already bonded with my mom, I had the left leg amputated because like my knee, that whole leg was just so much shorter than my right leg. And the knee was growing off to the side in like a C shape. And that was my little leg. I went to bed with it every night, holding onto it. And my mom and I, we had like a little goodbye ceremony for it the night before. And she made me, before all my surgeries, made me

a Ukrainian meal, which is really interesting because I never had food in Ukraine. But I've smelt it from the other kids having it. I just never got it. She always tied in where I came from to new big experiences in America now. And I think that helped the whole adapting smoother. It became a lot harder when I got older and more aware of things. Like I actually understood what the words meant that I was saying, and I understood how to process it and form my own thoughts. And that's when that became challenging. Yeah. I mean, also at a certain point, you have to, just as a human being, grapple with the fact that there's a huge amount of trauma in your early life. Well, I didn't even know it was trauma.

I guess to piggyback a little bit more on adapting, the hardest thing to adapt to that you think would be the easiest thing was having a warm, safe bed, having your own room, having toys, having love. I was so uncomfortable by it. My body only knew how to live in fear. And so it became my normal, kind of like what I said earlier at the beginning of this conversation is that was one of the hardest transitions physically. Like I can figure it out, but that emotional thought thing of like, oh my gosh, this is too bad. This is too comfortable. I slept on the floor because it was more comfortable. It's more familiar for my body and trying to rewire the way you think of what a home is and what,

and that's when I started realizing what I went through was the trauma and the experiences and abuses was not normal. That was never okay. But yeah. Yeah. It sounds like along the way also your mom picked up on your physicality and just would literally try and support you in pursuing anything movement oriented, anything athletic oriented. And you were out there saying, no, I want to do this. I want to try this.

I want to try this. And it sounds like on the one hand, your mom is supporting this, but then in other ways, other adults weren't. You want to try out for something and all of a sudden the quote responsible adult is like, no, you can't do it. You have a prosthetic and a quote risk to other kids. Liability for them. But what about me? So it's like you're getting shut down at every turn, but physicality, it seems like was always something that for some reason you're drawn to and that starts to show up in you participating in sports. And it sounds like your mom really picked up on that and said, like, how do I support this in every way that I can? My mom's incredible. She definitely, she incredible. I say that she saved my life

so many different ways. Two specific ones was obviously adopting me from the orphanage. Because when I came to America, they said if I was living up to 10, I would not have made it past that age just because I was considered failure to thrive. I was the size of a three-year-old, not almost an eight-year-old when I came here. So she saved my life from that. And then she saved my life by opening the world of sports. And instead of, I don't know, like she definitely did not get me into sports to think, oh, she's going to be an athlete. She wanted me in Buffalo, New York, there was an adaptive ice skating program. And I think she saw how active I was

and how determined I was by one experience when I was trying to climb the monkey bars or the, on the swing set, they have like this thing, you know, kids, like, I don't know if kids do that anymore. You just like go on your hands across like the swing set. I watched my friends do it and I couldn't figure it out because they were doing it with their thumbs and I don't have it. And my hands were also, I haven't had the surgeries for them yet. My mom told me, well, Oksana, I think this might be one of those things that you won't be able to do. She went to work the next day and they were a babysitter. All I did was just made her watch me and be outside and try to get to the monk through

across the swing set. And then when my mom got home, I was like, mom, look, look what I can do. And then I finally went across without falling. And that's when she realized like, okay, I will never say you can't do something anymore. And I think when she saw that determination along with just always wanting to be active, that's where she introduced me to ice skating. And it was only to really make friends and learn the language and make bonds in the community and see people that were like me also with maybe physical differences.

And just, she thought that would be the best way to do that. And I fell in love with it because I saw other kids that look different. I'm like, oh my gosh, is this what I look like? But I never really thought of myself at that time yet at all. Because all I was feeling was being free on the ice and feeling that cold air and just that movement that my body has in a different way I've never experienced. And that transformed when we moved to Louisville, Kentucky to doing horseback riding, which I was like, oh my gosh, this is the end of my life. We're moving to Kentucky. What do people do there? I don't even like country music. I mean, now I do. But back then when I was 13, I definitely did not.

And she's like, well, you know, everyone that's in Kentucky has to learn how to ride a horse. And so you're going to have to learn that. And I think she saw how and knew how healing and therapeutic movement of body is and sports and the power that had. It wasn't until way later that it became competitive and that we realized that like, oh wait, you can actually race? Yeah. I mean, it sounds like, I guess you were early teens, around 13 or so when someone suggests, well, there's this thing called adaptive rowing, but it also sounds like you had a resistance because of the word adaptive. And you're like, no, no, no, no, no. That's not for

me. I want the quote real thing or the thing without that word in front of it. Yeah. Well, it's another label that was being put on. I hate being labeled as an orphan because at that time I wasn't an orphan. My mom, I have a home now and now I'm disabled. And then now I have to do an adaptive sport because I have disabilities. That's where me at seven and a half thinking I had the whole world figured out 13 it just got worse I thought I for sure had it all figured out then too my opinion got even bigger and but because I wanted to be part of what my friends in middle school were doing I wanted to be in that dance team and instead of being in the volleyball team and instead of being supported I was just for the standard normal dance team I was my prosthetic was a liability for the other girls.

And then Randy Mills, who kind of worked within the school systems, made sure people with kids with physical differences were able to get around in their classes, ran the Louisville Adaptive Rowing Club and said, you should try out. And I was so resistant to it because like you said, I didn't like the way that it was just another label just because I'm missing a leg, that one leg at that time doesn't mean I need to do an adaptive sport. And I guess in some ways, it was like another way of society telling me of where I'm going to be that box of where I'm going to live and where I belong without even giving me a chance to try and figure that out. And, but, oh my gosh, thank gosh that I did. Cause my mom was, my mom's like that key. Like she is just like that, like that constant, like every part of my life, it comes to my mom being

the reason of guiding. And, um, because she just said, well, just go out and try it. You could try it once and never do it again. And that's why I was like, okay, stop asking me. I'll go if you stop asking. And oh my gosh, I fell in love with it. And that's exactly where my life changed. And the world of sports truly opened up in a way that I never saw coming. Tell me about that first moment when you're pushing off from the dock, the first time you were in a boat and what that feeling was like for you. Oh my gosh. I was terrified to take my leg off, but I also am biased because I love rowing. I feel like everyone in this world should try to get in a rowing boat once and you will understand the feeling I'm talking about because water is just so powerful and so therapeutic and just healing. And I will never

forget where I pushed off the dock, leaving my leg behind and my oars, like I could just feel the water and the boat shift up under me. And it's exactly related to what my hands were doing. I was controlling it. And for the first time after that first stroke, and then like five strokes later, I just felt like I belonged somewhere for the first time. It was something internally that clicked for me that I really felt so happy. And I think I was happy to have a mom and happy to have my new home and everything. But a part of me was a little bit like I was 13. And I was also at the time that I tried rowing was around the same time that the doctors in Kentucky said, we're going to have to amputate

your leg. We can no longer save your second one. In addition to that, a lot of memories that I just suppressed. And I told my mom, nothing bad ever happened. Everything was good. We're coming because there's only so much you can bottle into a box and tie it up in that bow and pretend it never happens before. It just sits there for such a long time, that box is going to get worn down and things are going to start coming out. And that's exactly what it did. But I was so lucky that at that time, that home and that lighthouse to always go to was rowing for me. It's interesting you use the word control. And it sounds like that was also this moment where so much of your life had been controlled

by other people or by circumstances. And you push off and you're in the boat and it's just, and for the first time, it's like, you're in control. You're powering this thing, fast, slow, sideways, whatever it is. It's just you. And that's something that's so, then specifically it's better now because adaptive sports has just grown so much. But back then I also never, like I fell in love with the release when you go to the catch, which is the first part where the oars drop into the water and you pull on the oars and you just feel this tug. And then there's a part that's called the finish of the stroke and you release

and the oars and everything just come light. You feel this just popping up out of water. And so it became a way for me to just let everything out, scream, but scream silently, not having to actually like everything out and process my thoughts, process of how I move my body. And then that control helped me see what I did have and what I was capable of doing, what I was capable of controlling. And it was the only place that I had control of me because when I came here, I had a lot of psychiatrists and doctors saying, oh, she's going to need medicine for the rest of her life. She's going to need therapy for the rest of her life. She's never going to be able to have a healthy, stable relationship from things that they were diagnosing me with. So I had people telling me

things about my physical appearance, about my mind, because based on my experiences. And then in society, just being someone that society's limited views of people like me and what I can achieve. And so it was just that escape where it was just me. And I needed that without talking and that just that dialogue with me, my heart, my body, and my mind to just truly learn how to love myself and appreciate what I can do and not focus on the outside noises and making that voice being the louder voice to hear versus I am strong and I can do this without legs. I don't need this. And there's so many different ways to just live life. It sounds like also it's the physicality and rowing for anyone who's ever tried it. It can be intensely, intensely physical. That physicality was also, it was this outlet, like a really powerful outlet as memories are coming back that you had repressed

as those start to flood back as a teenager, you're trying to figure out how do I process this? It sounds like the physicality was a huge outlet to channel that into something rather than dysfunctional and destructive, something that was empowering. And I've heard you describe, I can't remember where I heard or read this, describe it almost like your ability to scream, but you were doing it through physicality and through movement. I think like, cause a lot of people are like, oh, well, I'm not athletic. I can't find my thing, my outlet. But I think for me, I needed that physical release, that physical outlet, something where I could feel my body. It's kind of like, you ever just like want to go and you just like scream in a pillow and you feel 10 times lighter. Or you just like,

I don't know, if you go boxing, you just feel like you're like, Ooh, or a good run. For some people it's journaling. Like it can be, you just journal or you get lost in that book and you put that book down and you feel ready and energized. It's, it's finding that escape for you. And for me, it was sports. It was a way for me to, I've always been that physical learner and see it and feel it and do it. I think we all have that because it hurts me when people say like, I haven't found my thing. But I think when you're open-minded to not being afraid to just let that thing you love, like that is your escape. You just don't know it. Like you just get lost in that thing that you love. And for me, I was not afraid to, sometimes every day, I would scream. It felt so good to let all that anger and that fear out that was holding me down.

And that was really toxic to trying to help me truly love what I see in the mirror and love my reflection, all of it, not just from the chin up kind of thing because makeup. At a certain point though, I mean, so this is 13, 14. And as you also described, the doctors were right around then saying, well, we're going to have to amputate the other leg also, which requires you to almost kind of relearn how to step back into the boat, how to row, how to stabilize yourself. It puts you into a whole new thing because without that joint, things are different. It completely changes the balance of the way that you move. And especially on the water, if anyone's ever rowed or been in a skull, they're really narrow, long, delicate things. Have you rowed? I have. Yeah. And I've ended up in the water also,

as everybody does at some point. But at some point, this becomes something more than a passion, something more than an outlet, something more than a coping mechanism, something more than this physical expression for you. And it turns into something that says, this actually I want to take to a higher level. It becomes something which almost sounds like it forms around an identity. And part of that identity shifts to maybe I could actually compete and maybe this could actually be something that becomes almost like a central devotion for me. Absolutely. And honestly, to be honest, I didn't still see that I could compete. I did small races here and there and realized, oh man, I'm competitive. I'm really competitive. But it wasn't until just right before 2008, Randy Mills says, oh, you're young

and you've got a future in this if you want to go to the Paralympic Games. And I'm like, what the heck is a Paralympic Games? I've never heard of it. So I had to Google it and figure out what it was. And there was much less on Paralympic Games then in 2007 than it is now. But I fell in love with the idea of representing something so much bigger than yourself. And it became, like you said, identity and having that identity, it became a way for me to represent where I came from, like for all the little kids who were adopted and coming from international adoption. And it's just, I fell in love with it, but I didn't know I could still be competitive at all or consider myself an athlete because I never saw it. And it's very common now saying you can't be something

that you never see because the small races that I was doing up until learning about the Paralympic games, I was doing well and competitive, but I didn't really see myself as an athlete either doing it. And then long story short, 2008, I wanted to make the Beijing Games and I didn't. And that loss was what made me realize how much I wanted to do this. And that's where I think I learned what I wanted. I learned my identity. I learned my passion, my purpose. And I am so happy to have not made the games my first time around because it lit a fire that just, I can't imagine my life without that just burning and fueling me for everything that I do now. Yeah. I mean, it's so interesting though, because having really tried for it the first time out

and then not making it, there's almost like there's two paths you can go from that point. One is, well, maybe I'm just not cut out for this. And the other is, you know, like basically, oh, hell no. Like, okay, so this wasn't the time, but this is the path. And all this is doing is making me want it that much more and work that much harder. Well, especially since after that, those trials, one of the women who picks the teams and stuff that worked in US rowing, she was saying that, well, I'm just, it's unrealistic kind of goal because I'm way too small of a body frame. I'll never be an elite athlete. So on top of that, it was one more person in a voice saying what they thought was better for me instead of like seeing potential and just learning, having time to get better at it and

just automatically judging me on my body size. And I am, I'm one of the smaller athletes. I know that, but that means my tempos, I've learned how to compensate for my lack of mass or whatever. So I love to climb, but that really, really fueled me too is when someone's like, well, this isn't your path when I knew it was. Yeah. It seems like every time somebody drops into your life and says that to you, whether you say it out loud or you think it, it's just like, just watch me. And it seems like that's almost like that's been this consistent inner mantra for you

going through everything. And there's like a flame inside of you that just refuses to get extinguished no matter what goes on around you. Because as you evolve and so you start training again, you find a partner, Rob, former Marine, and you're rowing together. And eventually London comes, you do make it to the Olympics and you actually, you medal for the first time. What was that moment like for you? Oh my gosh. I was like a kid in a candy store where your mom just says, pick out anything and everything you want. I was like, yes. And I love this picture because I'm just smiling from ear to ear. And Rob's just like standing so stoic and just like,

because he's like, we could have gotten gold. And that's why, because we got bronze. And Rob's just like standing so stoic and just like, because he's like, we could have gotten gold. And that's why, because we got bronze. And I was just so happy. We were the most, we rode together for like a little, like little, just under a year, really together competitively. And we were the smallest crew, the least experienced crew. So I'm just like, oh my gosh, especially from my perspective, going from not making it to not only making it, but then seeing your flag being raised was just amazing. And I've never, like, my legs, inside my legs on the dock, on the water, that is the most terrifying place to walk if you can feel your legs. But then it's even more scary if you can't feel where you're walking. They were just shaking because I was just so happy.

And I could see my mom and my aunt and my family were there. And the American flag and Rob's parents were there. And it's one of those things that like, I think I was really lucky that my first, I had two separate mixed feelings and thoughts in that. Like I was so lucky that there's nothing like celebrating with a team, with like another partner. It's amazing as a individual sport on your own. But I think what made that moment so special is because I put in 100,000% for Rob and he was doing the exact same thing for me. And it was just to prove everyone wrong together and to bring the home, the first medal in that category for rowing was just incredible.

And then Rob's face in that picture really just inspired me and fueled me. I'm like, okay, if Rob thinks this, then hell yeah, we can get the gold then. But it was an amazing, amazing feeling. Yeah, that's amazing. I've known people who've, I have a number of friends or colleagues that have participated in different sports and Olympics. And it's interesting. And apparently there's this phenomenon for silver medalists where it's interesting. And there's apparently there's this phenomenon for silver medalists where it's actually psychologically better to have bronze than silver because very often silver medalists fall into profound depression because they're like, I was so close. I was one away. Whereas bronze is kind of like more at peace with the fact. Yeah. You're like, made it. Right. It's like, okay, so I made the top three. Like, I mean, I'm good. And

there'll be another shot four years from now if I really want. The Apple Watch Series 10 is here. It has the biggest display ever. It's also the thinnest Apple Watch ever, making it even more comfortable on your wrist, whether you're running, swimming, or sleeping. And it's the fastest charging Apple Watch, getting you 8 hours of charge in just 15 minutes. The Apple Watch Series X. Available for the first time in glossy jet black aluminum. Compared to previous generations, iPhone XS or later required. Charge time and actual results will vary.

Mayday, mayday. We've been compromised. The pilot's a hitman. I knew you were going to expand the sports you're working on for various reasons one shifting interest shifting interests, shifting body, sometimes injury, meeting the right people who introduces you to cross country and biathlon, which for those who don't know is a blend of shooting and Nordic cross country, I guess. But along the way, as you're going, what I'm getting curious about also is one of the things that you just said is like, once you start to realize you can compete on an elite level, you also had this thing in you that said, I can represent a certain ideal for kids who are not necessarily had your exact story, but had all sorts of struggle or for whatever reason we're

told you can't, it's not possible. But at the same time, I also know you felt really strongly about this notion of how your story might be perceived and wanting it to land in a very particular way. Yeah. I was so terrified to share my story. Well, first I didn't see any power in my story. I hated it so much. Adoption story in general is different and is unique to each individual that is adopted. But I compared myself to some of the people that I knew were adopted. I'm like, how can you talk about this so easily when I hate everything about it? And then just still processing to truly accept me and my body, my physical appearance, and see the power and strength in my story. I started sharing it and I kind of had to learn and had to like do my own personal inner growth

and truly learn how to love myself before I could see the strength in it and learn how to use those challenging moments and those harder parts as my secret weapon on that start line to fuel me in a positive way instead of fuel me in a way of fear and just never wanting to really live life and everything it has offer. And I started sharing parts of my story through sports and interviews and was getting a lot of kids and family members

that were saying, thank you so much. I know exactly what you went through because I went through this too. And I've never heard anyone say this. And it helps me what you went through because I went through this too. And I've never heard anyone say this. And it helps me knowing you went through this so I can get through this too. The one that I had no idea that hit me a lot was parents who adopted and saying, thank you for sharing your story because I understand my child more and will know how to be a better parent. And so there's the adoption side. And then there's the sharing and showing society

of not seeing me just like what I have and what I can do. So I was afraid that all those things of being an orphan, being abused, being somebody with a disability, being a female in sports, being like just all these things that I was afraid when someone knew the whole real story of my life, they would feel more pity than would just feel like, oh, wow, what I want people to do to learn from my story is recognize we all have hard, challenging moments. We all come from setbacks that we have to overcome. And there's no such thing as who had it worse, what was a worse experience to live in, because it's all unique to our own shoes and what we walk in and what we know. What we can do too is take those hard moments and they can be our fuel. They don't just have to be that negative

memory that we want to suppress and get rid of and never forget. It's part of who made you, it is in your DNA. It doesn't have to define you, but you can use something to fuel you. Once you tackle it on, work through it, it can be your secret weapon. And you can feel 10 feet taller when you look in your life. You know, something that I've really realized in this process of writing my memoir is my personal journey of where I came from in the orphanage to where I am now as a human is parallel to my journey as an athlete too, which was not making the first games. My gold medal was not the first medal that I won. It was a series of up and down, up and down, good and bad,

and it paralleled. And I think that's what I really realized. And what I hope people realize is that each moment creates our character and how we, but it's only if we choose to see the power in it instead of just the bad side of it and the fear of, oh my gosh, if I try to work through this really scary memory moment, like what is it going to do? No, I mean, it's really moving, you know, because along with the level profile that started to follow you, your profile is rising. You are, you know, an internationally known champion athlete becoming a multi-sport athlete who's like multi-medal winning. That's because I've said it before. It's totally because I'm a Gemini. I don't know which one if I want to be in the summer or the winter, which tan line I like. I like hot and I like being cold.

Well, so you kind of like checked all the boxes there. So you don't even have to choose it. Just like yes to all of it. But yeah, with so many more eyes on you, there are so many different ways to use that profile. And you've chosen to use it in a way which just is deeply meaningful to you. And you've also really thought deeply about how you want your story to land and what is the message that you want to sort of like travel into people's hearts and minds from that. And it's a story of inclusion at the end of the day. It's a story not just of I'm exceptional in some particular way or my story was really

rare and brutal in many ways, but you're basically saying we're all standing in the same tent. And my struggle looks like this, yours looks like that, yours looks like that. And a lot of people are going to tell you no or you can't. Question that. You know, just like don't just nod and say yes. Somebody else gets to set the constraints of my life. Question it all. That seemed to me that is one of like the central messages that I see, not just in the

way that you offer your message, but in the way that you live your life. Yeah, absolutely. And I think what's really important is I hope we all start to share all parts of our journeys, not just the good days, but also just every aspect because we can learn from each of our journeys and what we learned and how, okay, well, how did you get through this? And how did you get through that? And that's why it's so important to share. We all have a story. And I love the fact the start line doesn't care what you look like, doesn't care what background you come from. It doesn't care what color you are, what language you speak, who you really are. It's just a start

line. And I think that's the best thing is it's become my metaphor of life. It's just that like my, cause sports is my DNA now. But every time I think of a start line, it's like, no matter if it's on a field in a sport, on the water, on the road anywhere, but, or in business and the new goals, like nothing's decided for you yet. You get to be in control of how you want this new journey to unfold, new whatever to unfold. And yeah, I hope that it, I'm pretty lucky that I've had the opportunity. I know what it's like to live out of a car, not have everything, no support to be at this place, to be able to bring awareness on inclusion, on diversity, resilience, and that we all can, we are all resilient. And also one of my big passions and motivators is to the younger girls, boys and girls, kids in general, but specifically

girls, because I wasted so many moments of my life and hours in the day of feeding into the energy of the voices that I heard of, my difference was bad. It was not good. And I should not dream or set goals for myself. And I wasted a lot of hours on that because I hated what I saw in the mirror. I believed everything that I heard. And it was just years through learning and accepting. But if I can be one person that if a little kid sees me looking like them without their legs or sees that I'm different or sees that I'm doing the same sport as the athletes that we see on mainstream TV doing, but I'm doing it in a different way, then it will help them realize, wait a minute, I can see this, so I can do it too. And they're going to grow up with more confidence. And instead

of those years of not loving themselves, they're going to be the complete opposite and be like, watch me from day one and not needing to no longer say, watch me. I love that. And it feels like a good place for us to come full circle in our conversation as well. So in this container of Good Life Project, if I offer up the phrase to live a good life, what comes up? Oh my gosh.

I don't know. I think for me, it's like to live a good life is to embrace everything that makes you different. Just embracing, embracing every journey, every experience, every experience, every up and down. That is, you are going to live an amazing, good life if you just embrace everything life has to offer. Because those hard moments you feel like you might be in now, those moments will not always be here forever. You always get to,

in a good life, just recreate that. Thank you. Okay. Before you leave, if you love this episode, safe bet you'll also love the conversation that we had with Kyle Bryant about how to transform physical challenge into action and a powerful reclamation of self. You'll find a link to Kyle's episode in the show notes. And of course, if you haven't already done so, please go ahead and follow Good Life Project in your favorite listening app. And if you found this conversation interesting or inspiring or valuable, and chances are you did since you're still listening here,

would you do me a personal favor, a seven second favor and share it, maybe on social or by text or by email, even just with one person. Just copy the link from the app you're using and tell those you know, those you love, those you want to help navigate this thing called life a little better so we can all do it better together with more ease and more joy. Tell them to listen. Then even invite them to talk about what you've both discovered because when podcasts become conversations and conversations become action, that's how we all come alive together. Until next time, I'm Jonathan Fields, signing off for Good Life Project. The Apple Watch Series 10 is here. It has the biggest display ever.

It's also the thinnest Apple Watch ever, making it even more comfortable on your wrist, whether you're running, swimming, or sleeping. And it's the fastest-charging Apple Watch, getting you 8 hours of charge in just 15 minutes. The Apple Watch Series 10. Available for the first time in glossy jet black aluminum. Compared to previous generations, iPhone Xs are later required.

Charge time and actual results will vary. Mayday, mayday. We've been compromised. The pilot's a hitman. I knew you were going to be fun. On January 24th. Tell me how to fly this thing. Mark Wahlberg. You know what the difference between me and you is?

You're going to die. Don't shoot him, we need him. Y'all need a pilot. Flight Risk.