Good Life Project - How to Get the Sleep You Need (a Scientific Approach) | Chris Winter, MD
Episode Date: February 5, 2024Do you ever feel like you barely slept even after a full night in bed? You're not alone. Sleep expert Dr. Christopher Winter reveals the truth about the perception gap between how we think we're sleep...ing and reality. Discover science-backed techniques to get better rest, change your mindset around sleep, and stop obsessing over routines. Dr. Winter shares insights from his book The Sleep Solution and busts myths around optimal sleep needs. Learn how to ditch the anxiety around sleep and become the well-rested person you aspire to be. This candid conversation provides practical steps anyone can take to transform their relationship with sleep.You can find Chris at: Website | Instagram | Sleep Unplugged podcast | Episode TranscriptIf you LOVED this episode you’ll also love the conversations we had with Dr. Aric Prather about the fundamentals of sleep hygiene.Check out our offerings & partners: My New Book SparkedMy New Podcast SPARKED. To submit your “moment & question” for consideration to be on the show go to sparketype.com/submit. Visit Our Sponsor Page For Great Resources & Discount Codes Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
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Paying attention to sleep and valuing sleep, but working on not stressing about it.
Let's control what we can control.
Be in bed by 11 o'clock, be out of bed by 7.
There, that's what you can control.
Those are tough choices to make, but that's where we've got to be.
And then understand that sometimes we'll go to bed and not fall asleep right away.
We're okay.
We're normal.
That's fine.
Just being in bed resting can be wildly restorative for people.
Find time to rest. And if rest turns to sleep, good for you.
So have you ever stared at the ceiling in the middle of the night convinced you haven't slept
at all, or maybe you're not going to sleep at all? Or am I the only one? Or maybe you've dozed
off the second
your head hits the pillow only to wake up feeling like you really hadn't slept very well, if at all.
Apparently, not only do many of us not sleep well, but we also unwittingly tell ourselves stories
about the sleep that we're not getting that aren't entirely true. The way we perceive our sleep often
doesn't match reality. And for many people, that leads to anxiety and stress that even more colors the way that
they experience their sleep.
Even if we technically sleep soundly or more soundly than we realize we are, we may feel
like we're tossing and turning all night long.
So how do we actually understand how much or little we're sleeping and how, quote, good
or bad that sleep is?
And more important, what can we really
do about all of this? My guest today is Dr. Chris Winter, a leading sleep expert who has uncovered
fascinating insights around this sleep perception gap and so many other strategies to actually get
better sleep. He's practiced sleep medicine and neurology since 2004, but his fascination with
sleep began way back in 1993. He runs a neurology
and sleep medicine clinic in Virginia and has authored two popular books on sleep and hosts
the chart-topping podcast Sleep Unplugged. And I wanted to speak to Chris because I understand how
troubling insomnia and poor sleep and all the different ways that we sleep or don't sleep can
feel. But what I've learned is that sometimes our thoughts about sleep do more harm to our actual sleep
than the lost sleep itself.
And he offers a refreshing perspective
and practical solutions to help anyone struggling
with anxiety around sleep.
His message really provides the perfect balance
of inspiration and actionable advice.
In this conversation, we dig into the latest research
on sleep and bust myths around how much we really need.
And Chris shares ways to change our mindset
and reframe our relationship with sleep.
So imagine waking up feeling refreshed
even after a night of tossing and turning.
I'm thrilled for you to hear what Chris's insights are
and guidance on starting each day energized
and ready to pursue your passion
and how we can all get better sleep and also feel like we're getting better sleep.
So excited to share this conversation with you.
I'm Jonathan Fields, and this is Good Life Project.
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Mayday, mayday.
We've been compromised.
The pilot's a hitman.
I knew you were going to be fun.
January 24th.
Tell me how to fly this thing.
Mark Wahlberg.
You know what the difference between me and you is?
You're going to die.
Don't shoot him, we need him. Y'all need a pilot. Flight risk.
The domain of sleep has been, I think, on so many people's minds for so many different reasons. It's
not a new issue or a new question or a new topic, but I feel like the state of the world recently
over this last
chunk of years in particular has been affecting people in a lot of different ways during their
waking hours. But also I feel like a lot of people are talking about disruptions in sleep that
they're experiencing as well. And a lot of people are wondering what does the sort of perpetually raised level of ambient anxiety have to do with their ability to, quote, get a good night's sleep?
So I'd love to dive in there maybe and get your take on this.
Yeah, I think that it's interesting you used the term get a good night's sleep.
It's a hard thing to define define and people define it differently. I think it's a
better term than how does ambient stress level affect people's ability to get sleep, I think
might be different. I think that anxiety and sleep have an interesting relationship in the sense that
when individuals struggle with anxiety, it often colors not only the way they sleep,
but also the way they feel about their sleep or they perceive their sleep, which becomes very problematic.
If I just fell today, I didn't know somebody had mopped my floor and I ran out in a hurry for no reason and just bit it and slid across the floor and slammed into a doorframe.
And there was nothing about perception there.
I had a big gash on my
shin. The doorframe was dented. There was little bits of tissue and hair on it. Not to be gross
about the situation, but it's all very, if you showed 10 people that, they would tell you the
same thing if they saw it on video. So it's interesting when you talk about sleep, that
perception is very problematic, particularly in individuals who struggle with anxiety in the sense that I see patients on a daily basis who
it is their impression that they're not sleeping. And when you look at research about anxiety and
sleep, the way we feel about our sleep, the way we perceive our sleep tends to affect the way we
perform and function during the day as much, if not more,
than the way we actually sleep. So there's a massive connection between stress and sleep,
and understanding it completely can really help people out with their sleep.
Because what starts to happen is, as the stress impacts somebody's perception of sleep. Then the perception of the
sleep becomes its own stress. I have gone years without getting a good night's sleep and no doctor
can fix it and no pill can help. That becomes its own stress, regardless of peace talks in the
Middle East or what's happening in Eastern Europe or whatever you've got on your mind causing you
stress. So I think the more people understand
about sleep in general
and that interplay between stress
and our mental health and sleep,
the healthier their sleep will become.
Take me deeper into this difference
between the perception of how we're actually sleeping.
Because it sounds like what you're probably describing
is people reporting the perception
that they're really not sleeping well. But then
is what you're also arguing that if you put them into a lab and then you actually like track their
sleep, that oftentimes they are sleeping better than they think they are. And it's-
Oh, absolutely. And that goes both ways too. There are definitely people out there who feel like
their two hours of sleep they get between the hours of 2 a.m. and 4 a.m. when they wake up
and start looking at the stock markets or the trauma surgeon who thinks that she's doing okay
with two hours of sleep, that that's enough and that's good. I mean, the range goes in both
directions. But when it comes to anxiety and sleep, absolutely. In fact, the first question
I usually ask after somebody's had a sleep study. And these are very objective. This is not a situation of, sure, there's always going to be error in any kind of medical test, but this is one
of those things where, how did you sleep or how many hours did you sleep last night? And the
patient might say, I think I slept about 30 minutes. It took me until about 5.30 to go to
sleep and I woke up at six when the tech came in. That's not at all what neither the tracings and the electrical activities we monitor.
But here, I'll show you the video if you'd like to see.
So does this video I'm showing you match up with what you thought happened?
And it's really interesting to talk to people about these types of things.
We even have a name for that.
We've had many names for it over the years,
twilight sleep, sleep state misperception, paradoxical insomnia. So that's kind of one
piece of that puzzle. And a lot of times showing somebody, you know, here, you actually slept
almost six hours last night. It wasn't 30 minutes as you reported to me when I asked you what
happened. And as they watched the video,
there's this little light bulb that goes on with somebody that, wow, maybe my partner was right.
They've been telling me for years when I wake up and say I don't sleep,
that's not really what they're observing. And as an irrational human being, pretty functional and
successful given the fact that I don't think I've gotten any great sleep
since the second Bush administration. When you kind of just rationally think, do you think you'd
be as successful and look as good as you are and healthy as you are if you were only getting one
hour of sleep? Does that make sense to you? Does it make sense to you you're actually starving to
death but gaining weight? Does that logically make sense to you? So yeah, I mean, we see this on a very frequent basis. And the concept of good sleep, bad sleep
is really fascinating that people have actually done research about how people feel about their
sleep, just their perception of it. Are you a good sleeper? I've been a bad sleeper all of my life.
And that the way you feel about your sleep tends to influence your function during the day more
than the way you actually sleep.
So if you take that trauma surgeon example, she only got two hours of sleep last night.
She was literally in the emergency room or the trauma suite until 4 a.m.
She went to the call room.
She lay down.
And at 6 a.m., a nurse called her.
And she had to get up and deal with something that was going on in the ICU.
So she got two hours of sleep, if not fewer hours.
Yet if you talk to
her, she'll say, I feel great. I'm a great sleeper. And what's really ironic is she might
be considering herself a great sleeper because anywhere she goes, regardless of the circumstances,
if she closes her eyes and leans back, she can fall asleep. And in today's world,
that's a great sleeper. The person who can sleep very
quickly in any situation because God forbid we're in bed and 20 minutes after we've turned the
lights out, we're still awake. That's a problem. In fact, I was just talking to a reporter recently
and she said, what are some tips for people who don't fall asleep right away? I said, why are you
making this into a problem that we need tips to solve? I don't think that's a problem any more than you've eaten four pieces of pizza and you
don't want to eat a fifth.
What are some tips and tricks for eating that fifth piece of pizza?
Do we need those tips or tricks?
To me, it sounds like you're full and you shouldn't eat anymore.
Like your body's telling you, I don't want to eat more pizza.
Now we'll listen to that message.
This man wakes up at three o'clock in the morning and doesn't feel like going back to
sleep.
We tend to ignore that and think our body is wrong we need to go back to sleep what can we do
to get one more extra hour of sleep because we absolutely have to have it to be our healthiest
self and if we don't have it we'll be dysfunctional the next day whatever story you're telling
yourself so it's a very interesting situation when it comes into the perceptions and realities
of sleep need and how much people need to function and what we tell ourselves and believe to be true.
What you're describing sounds like there's a, almost like a psychosocial element to sleep in
that, you know, we're, it's not just what we experience, but it's what we think we're
experiencing. And then it's also the messaging that we're getting about what we're
told we should experience. And it all blends together into a bit of a cocktail that can
sometimes go down easy and sometimes cause us a whole lot of stress that actually isn't even there.
I could not have said it any better. That's exactly right. And if you think to yourself,
how many articles, newspaper, programming, internet, TikTok videos, have you seen talking about the problems
of being able to fall asleep too fast, being too good at falling asleep? Everything's the opposite.
Here's the headline, the breathing technique that guarantees you fall asleep in 30 seconds or less.
It's all geared towards falling asleep faster, staying asleep, being more unconscious during the night. We give very little
attention to the people who are really struggling. It's grandpa who comes into your house on
Christmas Eve and sits down and while opening presents, falls asleep in the chair at 6 p.m.
Oh, that's grandpa being grandpa. Oh man, I wish I could sleep like grandpa. Boy, he's a champion
sleeper. If there was a sleeping contest, grandpa would win. Grandpa's got a big problem. If you
talk to other family members, they'll tell you, oh, I wish I could be like him. I get in bed,
it's going to take me an hour to fall asleep. That problem is not at the level you probably
think it is because we confuse sleep deprivation with insomnia. They're really
kind of antonyms. They're not synonyms. Sleep deprivation is the individual who's trying to
make a mortgage payment and buy some Christmas gifts for his kids. So he's working a full-time
job during the day, gets home, has dinner, sees his kids, and then goes out and drives an Uber
at night to make a few extra money, hustles a little money to put some things under the tree, and is sacrificing
his sleep to do that, and is nodding off at stoplights, and is falling asleep at his
construction job the next day.
Sit down in his work truck to have lunch and immediately falls asleep.
Nobody really looks at that as being a problem.
Like, wow, look at John.
Man, John, he can sleep.
That guy's a great sleeper. John is deficient in sleep. So his body's looking for it. Any chance he gets,
he just hoped that John doesn't find it in his work truck, driving home, you know, from job
number one, getting ready to go to job number two. Like, so it's not that we shouldn't pay
attention to insomnia. Insomnia is a problem in its own right. It's just like you said, it gets such a big part of the pie
when it comes to the landscape of media attention that we do create a narrative that to some degree
is false. That if you don't fall asleep fast, if you wake up in the night and can't go back to
sleep, then you are in danger of some terrible things happening to you. You're not in any kind
of danger when we compare you to John. What I'm wondering here is, is there then this compound effect where it's almost like a meta
anxiety that starts to kick in that says, okay, so maybe there's stuff going on during my day or
during my life that's causing me a lot of stress and it's somehow seeping into my sleep. But then
I wake up at 2 a.m. and I can't get back to sleep. And then there's this spin cycle that starts to
happen in my head that says, this is awful. This is terrible. I'm never going to sleep for the rest of the night. And then
I'm not going to sleep again. And then it's going to have this trickle on effect and cause X, Y,
and Z, all sorts of awful stuff in my life. And that anxiety about your inability to sleep then
makes it even harder to sleep. Do you see that in a meaningful way?
100%. And generally by the time somebody gets to see me because of their
insomnia, that's exactly what's happening. And I even did a podcast episode about just that,
and I called it the trauma of insomnia. I mean, some people have described what you've just
outlined as being sort of a mini form of PTSD. And that level of meta anxiety to borrow is necessary for the whole
thing to work. You have to care for it to work. So it's just like you said, every night you're
now going to bed with the weight of the world. I've got to sleep or else terrible things will
happen. Or I'm dreading
going to sleep because for the past 20 nights, it's taken me hours and hours and hours to fall
asleep. I have no reason to think tonight will be any different. Somebody asked me one time,
in a sentence, what's the secret to great sleep? And I said, it's being equally happy in bed,
awake as you are asleep. If you can truly get to that place, it doesn't have any hold
on you anymore. If you're a youth, a little kid who's playing basketball and you don't really
care if the ball goes through the net or not when you shoot it, you're just out there having fun.
You get to socialize with your teammates. You get a juice box and some Fritos at the end of the game. And what happens between the buzzers doesn't really matter to you,
then you'll never have trouble shooting free throws or things. You don't care.
Versus the little type A players that are the ones that got the father who's all over them
in the game. Your free throw form was terrible. It creates sort of an anxiety.
I remember a coach sitting all of the parents down one time before a little rec league season
started. He said, we've surveyed kids, and this has been done for years and years and years. We've
surveyed kids who play youth sports. Their number one complaint about the process was you, parents.
And it was really eye-opening to me because I looked at my kids and
thought, none of these kids are going to be professional athletes, so I've got nothing
invested in here. I'm going to be much more concerned about their spelling homework than
their free throw shooting average. But it was interesting. I mean, everybody, myself included,
gets wrapped up in these types of things. And so if you're getting wrapped up in your sleep,
yeah, it becomes the
cell. And it's funny because you ask people, why do you think you sleep poorly? Well, it's the
divorce. Oh, really? Going through a divorce? Oh, no, no. The divorce was 17 years ago. Oh,
so you think the divorce 17 years ago is why you're having trouble sleeping last Tuesday night.
It may have started a process, but it's exactly what you described.
It started something 17 years ago, but now the process is fueling itself. It's creating its own
energy right now. Forget about the divorce. Maybe that person's gotten back together with the love
of their life. I have no idea, but that thing started the problem. And that becomes a very
difficult thing to break because in those 17 years or five years or six months or whatever the time period is between it starting, they might actually
come to see you.
Lots of weird beliefs and behaviors have sprung up from that.
And it takes some time to unwind those things.
You know, it's sort of like somebody coming up to me out of a crowd saying, hey, Chris,
you're adopted.
No, I'm not.
You know, Bill and Sally, who's my family? No, they're not. I've got documents, right? Let me see that. Oh, you're adopted. No, I'm not. Bill and Sally Winters, my family,
no, they're not. I've got documents, right? Let me see that. Oh, those are fake. No way those are
real. No, they're real. And you can believe it. It's that kind of thing. You've gotten to know
this entity, this beast for so long that to be challenged, and this happens a lot in the clinic
when I tell patients, look, it's impossible not to sleep. Well, maybe for most of your patients, but I don't sleep. You know, they're not giving me a hard time. They're not
lying about it. I got better things to do to be in my clinic and tell me things that aren't true.
That's what they believe. So now you've got to unwind this thing and try to appeal to different
parts of their psyche to help them understand that you've got a problem. It's a serious problem,
but it's not necessarily the problem you think it is. And it's a problem that you've got a problem. It's a serious problem, but it's not necessarily the problem you think it
is. And it's a problem that you've ultimately got control over. And you can see that in people who
struggle with insomnia and come out the other end. It's often just a moment. It's a belief.
It's an altered way of thinking about it. It's not the right blue blocker glasses or the right pillow. It's much, much deeper than that.
It's a fundamental reimagining and re-understanding of what it means to sleep.
And you see that, I think, with adults in sports.
I don't feel the way I feel when I played sports when I was little.
If I want to go out and play a game, I know enough about myself and my ego is strong enough.
Now, as a 50-year-old, I don't care
if I miss every shot in the game.
I still get to eat dinner.
It doesn't fundamentally change my life at all.
But when you're little, it's hard to get out from under that.
You don't want to be embarrassed by your other kids.
You're missing all the shots.
You don't want to be responsible for losing the game.
There's all these things you believe to be important as you get older.
You're like, this was a game of eight-year-olds in a church gym. Why did I think it was that
important at that time? I have a very different perspective on that situation now. And that's
what we as insomnia doctors are often trying to help people is to rapidly attain that perspective.
Yeah. I mean, it sounds like what you're describing is like sleep performance anxiety, basically.
It is for a lot of people.
It is.
But it also sounds like what you're saying is that when this persists over an extended
window of time and you have this like repeated things, like you start to tell the story to
yourself over and over and over, it becomes a part of your identity. So unwinding
the sleep issue also means that we need to actually talk about unraveling that identity
that you've stepped into as a quote, bad sleeper, disrupted sleeper, a person who never sleeps.
Does that make sense? Oh, 100%. I'm surprised that you get that as a non-sleep.
That's when it becomes really malignant.
I have a belief that everybody has their thing.
John, you've got an amazing podcast and you've got a voice that a lot of people relate to
and want to hear.
And perhaps your partner makes the best Christmas cookies of it.
And then your friend down the street's an amazing
artist. This other person is just the funniest person. Everybody's got to have their thing.
And it's interesting for some people that their thing becomes the fact that they can't sleep.
That is a big part of their identity. In fact, I remember when my first book came out,
my kids were younger and they were really interested in the reviews. They thought that
was amazing. Oh my gosh, dad, somebody wrote a review about your book from Lake Placid and
they really liked it. And then inevitably some bad reviews started coming in.
And I remember one of them in particular, their name on Amazon was like Tired 89.
So at some point, years and years and years ago, when you got on Amazon, you set up your
Prime account, you're going to order some laundry detergent and some parts for your
mower or whatever you're ordering. You had to come up with a name and you chose Tired 89.
That's going to be your Amazon name. And I thought to myself, and it was a very negative review,
which is fine. I really appreciate those because you just learn so much
from them. And this book is terrible. Don't waste your money. It doesn't do anything. This guy,
I'm not even sure he's a real sleep dog. He was this guy, that guy. I'm fine with.
It creates this sort of longing that, God, I want to meet Tired89 and go have a cup of coffee with
him or her or them and just talk to them. There's just so
much anger and frustration and fear. And you can tell it's all kind of built to protect something
that is under attack. You know, I have told tired 89 that their parents are not their parents. And
now look, I got pictures to prove it right there. There I am as a baby. And there's Fran and Frank. And that's okay. It's almost like there's seven steps to
healing insomnia. There's denial and anger and resolution, whatever the steps would be. And
some people are just further along than others. But that personality identity is a big hurdle in the thing.
Who wants to sit there and say, you mean for the past 14 years and all these sleeping pills
and all this money and all this time and all the specialists, it was just, I was sleeping
all along?
All these stories I was telling my coworkers about going weeks without sleep, that was
not true?
It was just my perception of it?
I can get why somebody
would be like, screw you, man. You don't know me. I get it. That's why it really takes some time to
really work with people like this sometimes. And it requires a fair amount of motivation and
openness and willing to put yourself in some tough spots.
And everybody's at different places when it comes to their ability
or their readiness to do that kind of thing.
Yeah, that makes a lot of sense to me.
Mayday, mayday.
We've been compromised.
The pilot's a hitman.
I knew you were going to be fun.
January 24th.
Tell me how to fly this thing.
Mark Wahlberg. You know what the difference between me and you is? You're going to die. Don't shoot himth. Tell me how to fly this thing. Mark Wahlberg.
You know what the difference between me and you is?
You're going to die.
Don't shoot him.
We need him.
Y'all need a pilot.
Flight risk.
The Apple Watch Series 10 is here.
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It's also the thinnest Apple Watch ever,
making it even more comfortable on your wrist,
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And it's the fastest charging Apple Watch, getting you eight hours of charge in just 15 minutes.
The Apple Watch Series X, available for the first time in glossy jet black aluminum.
Compared to previous generations, iPhone XS or later required,
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I think on the other side of the spectrum, part of my curiosity is, you know, you described that,
that ER surgeon who like goes and goes to the call room, closes her eyes and like within seconds,
she's out and she got two hours and she opens up and she feels really good. And maybe you have
folks who, who take the mantra, I'll sleep when I'm dead. I'm going to go, go, go. I don't
need it. It's fine. And basically the importance of sleep in their lives. And I think a lot of
folks may feel this when they're younger also, and they're sort of like new in their career,
and they're trying to prove themselves and putting a lot, or maybe in their lives when
they're young parents and they're working full-time job or two full-time jobs and have little kids or toddlers or babies at home, and they just kind of say like, I'll
deal with this later.
But when we get to that opposite side of the spectrum, when the pendulum swings all the
way in that direction, when this is very real, talk to me about how this true lack of sleep
that accumulates over time, where the deficit actually doesn't go away,
how does this start to show up in our psychology and our physiology and the way that we live our
lives? Yeah. I mean, I think it's slowly devastating. It's rust. I always think of it
as rust. I mean, you could stay up all night tonight. Everybody's pulled in all night or at
some point in their life and life went on. You were pretty grumpy the next day. You may have
fallen asleep watching Jeopardy or something, but it wasn't that big of a deal. In fact,
maybe you were somebody who pulled the all-nighter and the next day really wasn't that tough for you.
I mean, for some people, it's a bear. Other people, it's like they pull an all-nighter.
I remember in medical school, there were some people that could just,
you were up all night with them on call and you knew they were awake because they were staying right there next to you, you know, filling
orders and doing procedures all night long.
And the next day they're fresh as a daisy.
Like, you know, the professor keeps calling on you, Chris, what are the three signs of
an aortic?
You're like, uh, what is an aorta?
And like the next person, I got it.
You know, Jennifer next to you knows all three of them.
And she's, she had found time to shower and she actually looks okay. How did you do that? And to some extent, that's genetic.
And it's a very interesting sword, double-edged sword in terms of our abilities to function with
inadequate sleep. We can do it. Some people do it much better than others. There's some genetic
factors that allow some people to thrive and others to
not. And it is interesting that we tend to reward those people accidentally. It's funny, you
mentioned people who don't value sleep. There is a weird middle ground of people who value it.
They want to do the right thing, but like you said, their job doesn't allow it. The law clerk, the intern,
I valued sleep. But sometimes you're like, the idea of, hey, it's 11 o'clock and I know the ER
is full, but I can't stay up all night. That's terrible for my health. I'm going to pay the
consequence for this in my 60s. Nobody cares about that. Everybody just kind of looks the other way in a weird way.
The number of ways it's hurting us, they're not able to be counted. I don't want to sound
alarmist, but if you're somebody who's like, look, I go to bed at midnight, get up at 5 a.m.
and work out and then go to the office. I don't sleep any time outside of that. I really don't
sleep in on much of the weekends. If I feel sleepy when I'm reading financial reports during the day,
I just stand up in my office and walk around and drink a ton of coffee. I can do it. I can do it.
Sure you can, but at what cost when you're in your mid-50s? I remember a sleep specialist,
a mentor of mine, always had this phrase. I can never remember what it was, like 55,
fly and die, meaning that you just sail along until you're 55 and then you die. And then nobody can figure out at your
funeral, man, he was so successful and he ran triathlons and he was always involved in these
things. Why did he die? Well, he died because he didn't sleep enough. And we know individuals who
shortchangers themselves when it comes to sleep are more likely to get dementia and heart disease and die of a car accident. It just becomes beyond maybe appealing to their
rational sense. Because I talk to a lot of smart people during the day, way smarter than I am.
I don't believe they don't believe it or know it. I think it becomes something like a habit or yes, I'm going to do that when this project wraps up,
I'm going to start getting the sleep I need. And that project never wraps up because it always
leads to the next project or the next thing. And I wrestled with this too, John. This was
my sleep struggle, which was I'm good at staying awake late and sleep depriving myself and being
functional the next day.
Really good at it.
And I'm certain it allowed me to get good marks on certain rotations.
I'm sure it helped me in high school.
I could easily stay up all night and get work done and function well the next day in college.
But at some point, you do have to ask yourself, just because you can, should you do
it? I can do it. I don't even feel like I'm struggling or suffering that much the next day.
You know, my wife would say, you're yawning a lot. What time did you go to bed last night? Now,
why? Of course. Oh, I don't know. 12? You know, it was actually two, but you know, who's counting?
So, you know, a lot of travel, you know, people even taking red eyes. I'm always like,
let's get that. I'll take the red eyes. I'll be back in the office so I can actually see
patients that day instead of just being like, look, I'm going to cancel patients that day and
get some sleep before I fly home. Just dumb stuff like that. So I think that that's the end of the
spectrum that I have to work on. So I always look at people, do you need to worry more about sleep
or do you need to worry less about it? So I'd
probably be the person who needs to worry a little bit more, read Matt Walker's book and really
consider it versus another person who might, we were talking about earlier, the insomnia patient,
maybe not read Matt Walker's book and read my book. Because if you read Matt Walker's book,
your level of anxiety about, quote unquote, not sleeping is going to go through the roof.
So we've got to find the right tool to bring everybody to the middle, I guess.
Yeah.
I mean, that's so interesting that you describe it that way, because it does make sense.
You know, if you're on the end of the spectrum where you're already sort of like shaming
yourself and you have this perception gap about like what your sleep really is, you
wrap yourself around the identity of a bad sleeper.
And then you start to read about, oh, well, if you don't sleep enough, the risk for life
altering or ending disease goes up dramatically.
Inflammation goes up, cognitive function declines, physical performance, mood relation,
blah, blah, blah, all this stuff.
It's going to freak you out 10 times more.
Whereas if you're on the other side of the spectrum, it might actually be a little bit
good to understand a little bit more the damage that you're potentially doing to side of the spectrum, it might actually be a little bit good to understand
a little bit more of the damage that you're potentially doing to yourself.
Yeah, absolutely. And there's an identity there too. It's the tough guy, you know,
like, oh, he sleeps for the dead or, you know, sleeps for the week. And that's why I like to
see people who's that Navy SEAL guy, like Jocko Willingham or something like that. He's this big,
big, and he gets on there and he talks about, you know, how important sleep is. You know, now I'm sure, you know, somebody had said during, you know, SEAL training,
I know it's pretty late and I'm sitting out here in the ocean. Can we go to bed now? No, you can't.
So there's, there's reasons for staying up late sometimes. You can't stop a trauma surge in the
middle of the night because it's midnight. But I love hearing people, I mean, I can say it,
nobody really cares about what I would say, but you hear somebody like that guy say how sleep is important and how he values sleep. And
it's not always, you know, doing more is better. I think you kind of create a healthier identity of
you don't want to take a lot of pride in being the individual that can stay up all night and
be great the next day. That's not necessarily a superpower you want.
Yeah. So when we talk about sleep also, I want to deconstruct what we're actually talking about
a little bit more because when I think about sleep, sitting here at the conversation,
I have an aura ring on. I get up in the morning, I download my sleep data from the app and it shows
me there's four different stages of sleep and sort of like approximately how much time I've
spent in each one of them.
Talk to me a little bit about what these stages are and why each one matters or doesn't matter as much as we think it does.
I'll say from the beginning, I like trackers.
We just did the last episode of the podcast we did.
We did on trackers.
It was long overdue. I think it deserved sort of a conversation in the sense that I think that
they often get a little vilified in terms of, oh, they're not accurate like a sleep study. Well,
no, but who has the means to have a sleep study every night? And there is something to be said
for data that might not be quite as accurate, but it's longitudinal, meaning that you're looking at
your data every day versus one random Tuesday night in February where you went to an artificial sleep lab, wires taped
all over your head, and some technician that you just met 30 minutes ago watching you
online on a camera.
There's some strengths and weaknesses here.
So you're sleeping in your own bed.
And most people who have an R-ring completely forget about it.
So there's not that sort of nervousness of being in a weird bed with wires.
You're just sleeping like you normally do. Now, that's not to say that some people get kind of wrapped up
in that data, but I think data is power, even if it's not perfect data. I mean, I think that there's
power in terms of a trend. If you're always scoring in the 90s, and now all of a sudden,
you're scoring in the 50s because you've started drinking drinking more or you're spending more time at your
partner's apartment and she's got 17 cats and you've noticed, wow, when I sleep at her
place, I'm getting scores in the 50s and 60s.
When I sleep by myself in my own place, it's in the 90s.
There's value in that.
So I think that looking at these devices in terms of how much sleep we're getting, I think
they do a great job overall.
So again, when we're talking about the individual says, look, I don't sleep. Okay, great. Get an
Oura ring, get a Fitbit, get a Withings band or Apple watch, a Whoop band, whatever you want,
wear it for a month. Is that what it's telling you? No, it says I'm sleeping seven hours a night,
so it's clearly broken. No, I don't think it's broken. I think it's actually reflecting what's
going on. And maybe you can find some comfort in that. Ask your partner,
what does your partner think? You're not sleeping or you're sleeping closer to six to seven hours
a night. Your partner's sitting there looking like, yeah, honey, I think it's right. That's
what I've been telling you for the last three years. So I think a lot of people, it can be used
in that way. The flip side, like we were talking about the trauma surgeon, I lie all the time about
my sleep.
I go around and tell people, I sleep seven hours a night.
If my phone could interrupt me at the dinner party, it would buzz because I'm lying about
it.
No, no, in this past month, you're averaging five and a half hours.
So I think it can, again, start to help people move in two different directions. Okay,
well, gosh, maybe I'm sleeping a little bit more than I thought I was. So it makes me feel a whole
lot better because I know that not getting enough sleep can make really a problem for you. Or,
hey, Chris, you're not getting seven hours. Your exceptional nights are now your normal
light. So maybe you can use this data to try to carve out a little bit more time to sleep and
watch your favorite HBO docudrama a little bit less right now in an effort to get some more sleep.
I think where they struggle a little bit to some extent is staging sleep. That's a tough thing to
do. So when we think about staging sleep, we're talking about light sleep, deep sleep, dream sleep,
and then there's also sort of a transitional sleep. We call it N1, which doesn't have a whole
lot of meaning outside of an academic sleep
center.
So it's really three things, light sleep, deep sleep, dream sleep.
We spend about half of our night in light sleep.
The other half is some mix of deep sleep and dream sleep, maybe 50-50.
For a lot of people, just understanding that can be really helpful.
I have people come all the time like, look, I'm only getting like 20, 15, 20% deep sleep.
I want 70%.
Well, that's 20% deep sleep. I want 70%. Well,
that's never going to happen. So it's sort of like, I've noticed I'm only getting about 33%
carbohydrate. I want 100% carbohydrate. No, you actually don't. Carbohydrate, protein, fat,
all three are really important and they're important in the right ratio. So understanding
the ratio of what is typical for an adult or a kid and what your device is telling you is really important. And so in terms of what's most important, again, is protein more important than
carbohydrate? Not really. It just does something different. So we have this kind of, it seems like
we always talk about deep sleep as being the most important. And maybe it is from the sense that
deep sleep makes you feel not sleepy. So it's sort of the fundamental part of sleep in the sense that deep sleep makes you feel not sleepy. So it's sort of the fundamental part of sleep in
the sense that if you are a squirrel trying to survive, it's going to be difficult for you to
do that if you don't have the energy to wake up and go find a nut and protect yourself from a
predator. So I think deep sleep is that sleep that makes you feel rested to some degree,
motivated to do things. If you're falling
asleep during an art history lecture, you did not get enough deep sleep either because you didn't
get enough sleep in general, or you got plenty of sleep, but something interfered with the quality
of it. REM sleep or dream sleep is very important too. It's more about concentration, focus,
memory processing. It's a little bit more opaque than deep sleep in terms of if you don't have enough
REM sleep, you're going to get through your day okay. You're just going to put your car keys in
your refrigerator. That little injury you got at the gym is going to bother you more. You might
have a little bit more depressive thoughts or lack motivation to want to do something.
I don't want to go to the gym today. It's kind of gross outside. I just don't want to do that
right now. All these things have meaning. I think't want to go to the gym today. It's kind of gross outside. I just don't want to do that right now. So all these things have meaning. So I think it's sort of
like a balanced diet. We want to have a properly balanced sleep at night. And I think those little
devices, even though they're not perfect, can be telling, especially if you're like, look,
I've been wearing this Oura ring for five years. Over the last three months, the trend of my deep sleep has significantly
changed from where it was before. If somebody came to me in my clinic and told me that,
I'd pay attention to that because whether it's right or wrong, it was measuring something one
way for a long period of time, and now it has changed. To me, I've done sleep studies for less,
especially if somebody's saying, look, not only has this me, I've done sleep studies for less, especially if somebody's
saying, look, not only has this changed, I don't feel good. I've actually fallen asleep in front,
I teach fifth grade. I actually nodded off during a pop quiz. I gave the kids a quiz and I was
sitting at my desk grading papers and I fell asleep. I've never done that in the 17 years
I've taught. And my device is showing that I'm not getting a lot of deep sleep.
And I really haven't fundamentally changed the way I sleep.
Sure, yeah, I absolutely pay attention to that.
So I think these things can be great tools for people if they just make sure they're
kind of put in the right place, if that makes sense.
Yeah, and that makes a lot of sense to me.
I tend to use it in that same way, actually.
I focus more on what's the trend and how is it matching up with how I'm feeling. I guess the one question that still remains for me, though, is that, and maybe this is mythology, maybe you can help clear this up for me, is that the notion of deep sleep not just being related to how you're feeling the next day, like are you groggy or not, but the long-term implications of not enough of that one phase deep sleep in terms of its ability to sort of cleanse the brain, to remove things that might accumulate over
decades and then lead to diagnoses like dementia or Alzheimer down the road, that that is something
that as I get further into my life and I sort of like see those numbers, I'm like, huh,
should I be paying more attention in particular to that?
And if it dips below, like if I'm noticing a huh, should I be paying more attention in particular to that?
And if it dips below, like if I'm noticing a trend where like that's really dropped for like a week or maybe two weeks or three weeks, how much concern would you have about something like that? Or is
there just mythology around like deep sleep is the most important, you need to get a minimum of X,
and it's really just a balance of all, as you're saying?
I think if you have a right to be concerned, I think it's sort of like it can sometimes
approach though, I am becoming shorter as time goes on.
I've been measuring myself on a wall since my kids were little.
There's a little mark that says dad and then all their measurements.
And so when they started to pass me, I was like, this is bullshit. There's no way you're taller than I am. So I remeasured myself and I was
shorter than the mark I had made and distressingly went to my primary care doctor. He's like, oh,
yeah, Chris, men start shrinking around the age of 30. It was much younger than what I thought
it would be. So to me, losing deep sleep is probably part of the aging process. It's the
reason why older athletes don't recover as well, et cetera. So I think we have to find the right
balance between concern and, well, I'm exercising, I eat well, I'm on a good sleep routine.
What else can I really do? And that's where I think
people start getting snookered into, well, you can buy this little device that vibrates on your
neck at a certain frequency. It's been shown in monkeys to increase their deep sleep by as much
as, I love that phrase, as much as 50%. That's the problem that I have is the whole biohacking
thing. Listen, why don't you biohack my height?
How can I be taller?
I don't want to shrink anymore.
Like, I mean, people say you can't really do it.
Like we could, I don't know, shove some stuff in between your vertebrae or something.
I, you know, like it's just part of the process here, which kind of stinks.
Like, but, you know, so I think that if you saw a dramatic decline in your deep sleep
and some things had changed about your life and you're really not exercising, you eat terribly and you drink a lot of alcohol at night, I could figure
out a bunch of ways maybe we could improve the quality of your sleep. But the super fit 60-year-old
that comes in, runs six miles a day, he's got seven different sleep trackers and is concerned that his
deep sleep is at 17% and he wants it at 22 22 because of this article he read about dementia and the
glymphatics. I don't know what to do with that. Like, listen, man, you're already exercising.
You're in the top 1% of people your age exercising. I don't have any kind of magic
pill to increase that. You're aging and there's not a whole lot you can do about it, I guess,
where that would be. So I think that's where we have to focus our,
it's like triage. Let's focus our resources on the people that we can help here versus the people
who are just gone and the people who are actually in really good shape, but they're just, help me,
help me. Listen, you've got a little nick on your finger. It's not that big a deal. Let's focus on
these other people who we can really help. There's not much I can do for you besides put a Band-Aid on that finger. So
that's where I sometimes see that the sleep tracker creates anxiety and a sense that we
can fix something that I'm not sure medical science has the ability to fix at this point.
But if you look hard enough on the internet, you'll find something that'll fix it. It'll
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I want to dive into some of the things that we can do. But before we get there, I know you also
made this really interesting distinction between insomnia, and I think you call it hard insomnia or chronic insomnia.
And I was curious about that distinction, actually.
Yeah, it's just something I kind of came up with in the sense that I fundamentally believe that if I am dealing with a patient that comes sort of like with an open mind and an average degree of intelligence,
we can make their insomnia much better. But I'm also willing to admit that there are some people
that you just can't really crack the shell. And what those people consist of is to some degree
a mystery. I guess what I was saying about that was,
you might be somebody who for the rest of your life, when you go to bed, it takes you two hours
to fall asleep. But here you are, you got a job. I mean, a lot of it has to do with the way we
internalize it. I mean, if you're trying to threaten me, there's lots of ways you could do
it that would get my attention. Threatening me with wakefulness in my bed at night is irrelevant to me. I like being in bed awake. I don't care about it.
So to some degree, I think that there are individuals who struggle with insomnia that
are just going to struggle with insomnia. And it's like chronic pain. Like, listen,
we've done everything we can do. We've done a nerve block. We've immorad your
knee a million times. We've seen nothing structurally wrong with it. we've done everything we can do. We've done a nerve block. We've MRI'd your knee a million times.
We've seen nothing structurally wrong with it.
We've done exploratory surgeries.
We've scraped on the meniscus.
And yet this debilitating pain is still there.
It's a tough conversation to have with people
that we don't have any more to offer you.
We don't know what to do.
You might need to start exploring ways
almost to come to terms with it, that it's
going to maybe be there until somebody comes up with a great solution for you that we haven't
thought of. I mean, Western medicine does not nearly have all the answers that people think
that we do. And I think that that was really what I was trying to say about individuals with this
insomnia that have seen a hundred sleep doctors way smarter than I have, and nobody's ever been able to figure it out, then it's time to make a choice here.
Like you're 34 years old. You've been to 17 different sleep doctors, had seven different
sleep studies. Nobody can find anything wrong. We've tried all these different medications,
nothing works. So I would say maybe stop seeing doctors and let's just sort of start working on
the acceptance of this.
And now you're going to lead a life.
I don't know, maybe there's analogies with like a traumatic amputation.
Trying to get the leg reattached is not going to happen.
It's time to come to grips with the fact that you are going to operate the rest of your
life without this limb.
I don't want to offend amputee, but there is some degree I'm
guessing of, okay, well, I've got to start now leading my life with this sort of new difficulty
that's been hoisted upon me that I really didn't want because doctors in 2023 cannot create a new
leg for me, which is exactly what I deep down want. I want to go back to where I was
before. I liked having both legs. You know, we struggle with things like that in the medical
profession. I think, I don't think we're very good at that. Yeah. I mean, that was my curiosity,
just, you know, like as an aside, almost like for you, this is your profession, your profession for,
you know, like a significant amount of time when somebody like that shows up
and you're literally like, you literally like, I'm looking at everything
that you've tried and looking at everyone who you've seen. And this is the last thing that you
want to hear. But what I got to tell you is effectively, I've got nothing for you. I mean,
just for you as a doctor. I come from a rural place and I've never looked at doctors as being
particularly expert in anything. One of my favorite
quotations about medicine in general is, doctors, we're here to distract you until nature takes its
course. I always thought that was pretty funny. The other one I always liked was, doctors are
just people who've read a few more books than I have. I thought that was a good one too.
So I mean, to me, I actually like that part of the journey, the part where we're like,
you know what, I'm going to take my white coat off, which is not true because I don't
typically wear one.
And let's just talk about what we can do going forward here that's not me doing more tests
and things like that.
And I always make promises with patients.
And the promise is, listen, if you go somewhere else and you see an acupuncturist,
you go to a cool yoga studio in Soho, New York, and something clicks or works,
or you determine you've got this weird digestive problem or celiac disease,
you have to call me and let me know what worked. Because the only way I'm going to help the next
person in your situation is if you educate me about what made the difference for you.
So again, I didn't write that book as a way to sort of create all the answers.
And the end of the book, what you're referring to was that sometimes we don't have the answer
and it really sucks to kind of hear that.
But I think that there's a therapeutic process that begins at that point and goes forward.
It's not, oh, well, I can't do
anything for you. So pay your copay and get out of my office. I want to be there for that patient
as much as possible. That's why when you read the Tired 89 Amazon review article, it's one star,
I hate this book, I'm throwing it away, never buy it, it's the worst, this guy's terrible.
When I read that, it's like, oh, I want to meet this person. It's not, oh, I'm going to get this
review taken down off Amazon, or that's unfair. It has nothing to do with that. It's more like, oh, I want to meet this person. It's not, oh, we can get this review taken down off Amazon
or that's unfair. It has nothing to do with that. It's more like, it's too bad that we're meeting
this way because I'd really like to sit down and talk with you. Maybe after an hour, you'd feel
just as strongly about how terrible the book is, but maybe we would start to crack some.
And I always like to think that that person took the time to write that review. And as much as they don't like it, it started them thinking about some things.
You know, some little things, some little seeds were planted in there that might take
a few months or years to grow.
But maybe when that patient sees the next doctor and she says, yeah, he's right.
You sleep.
It's just, there's some things maybe wrong with your sleep, but yeah, it's, you're not here because you can't sleep. And you know, the patient hears that a few
times. Maybe we started a process that allows something to happen down the line that I'll never
be aware of. That's the positive spin. I like to think about things anyway.
No, that makes sense. So if you, I mean, we've talked about this, you know, the perception gap,
how getting really honest and actually maybe even getting some data that sort of like show you, I mean, we've talked about this, you know, the perception gap, how getting really honest and actually maybe even getting some data to sort of like show you, like, actually, you know, things are maybe better than you think you are.
Maybe starts a process of re-imagining and shifting your identity and maybe letting go of the anxiety.
What is some of the more basic things when you're talking to somebody and says, okay, so have you tried this? Have you tried this? Have you tried this? Or like here are the three, five, six,
seven things that you want to get into the habit of doing either every day, every night,
that maybe no one of these is going to be a miracle cure. But if we start to do them on
repeated basis, they'll have a cumulative effect. What are some of the core things
that we should be thinking about along those lines? Yeah, that's a great question. I mean, I like things that are actionable.
I think starting your day at the same time is really helpful.
Our bodies just like that.
We like, nothing's accidentally happening in our body.
I didn't just accidentally secrete a massive amount of testosterone in my bloodstream.
It's going to happen on some sort of, and that's what's so fascinating about the body
is that the timing of everything is just absolutely exquisite. And we can help our bodies do that by timing external
things. And we call those external things, site givers or time cues. So if we look at a clock and
we see, oh, it's six o'clock, that doesn't really do much for our brain. But if we always eat our
breakfast, the first thing in the morning, that stimulus of
food going into our gut every day at the same time becomes a marker in time that we start to look at.
And if you don't believe me, eat your lunch and dinner and breakfast every day at the same time
and look and see when you start to feel hungry. I remember working at a summer camp one year
and we would always take the kids to the dining hall at this college at the same time every day. And I would find
myself getting hungry on the walkover. In fact, it became a joke with the kids. Like, are you
hungry yet, Chris? I'm like, no, not yet. It hasn't hit me yet. But there it went. I just got
hungry. Because your brain's like, okay, every day at this exact time. Versus when I was a college
student, I never ate at the same time every day.
You talk to military people, they'll tell you things like, I go to the bathroom at the
same time every day because everything is so regimented.
And you don't have to be militaristic about it, but starting your day off at the same
time every day is really helpful, especially if you're somebody who struggles with your
sleep.
Because a lot of those people go through the thought process of, I had a bad night, it took me three hours to fall asleep, or I woke up at two in the morning and it took me hours and hours to go back to sleep. Because a lot of those people go through the thought process of, I had a bad night,
took me three hours to fall asleep, or I woke up at two in the morning and took me hours and hours
to go back to sleep. Therefore, on Saturday, I get to sleep in until noon. That way, I'm ensuring
myself getting the right amount of sleep. When in fact, that might be hurting you a little bit,
because now your brain's not getting any sort of penalty for doing what it did in the night.
So getting up at the same time every day and moving forward is a great way to kind of help
to ensure your brain understands when sleep is supposed to happen.
Because if you're sleeping in until noon on Saturdays and Sundays, your brain's kind
of like, when do we get up?
Sometimes we're up at six.
Other times we're up six hours later.
What is the wake-up time?
If you're messing with a wake-up time, you're almost inevitably messing with a breakfast time. Sometimes we eat breakfast at
noon when the sun's directly above our head. Other times we're eating it at six in the morning when
the sun hasn't even come up yet. That's very disruptive to a brain. I think the other thing
that we can do is exercise. Listen, I think exercise should be like brushing your teeth.
I don't know that I've ever met somebody who says, look, I try to brush my teeth, but I'm pretty busy. Pretty busy guy here.
I've got a lot going on. So I get to brushing my teeth once every other week or so if I'm lucky.
No, I mean, everybody brushes their teeth probably twice a day. You might forget from time to time,
but you didn't choose to not brush your teeth because you were pushed for time.
That doesn't happen. And if you can brush your teeth for two minutes, you can walk on a treadmill for 10.
Somebody says, look, every time the commercials come on on my favorite show, I walk on a treadmill,
then you're exercising. And I think we've got to get away from the idea, you know, for most people
that exercising is optional. It should be right up there with brushing your teeth, especially if
you're struggling with your
sleep because it's the exercise and that energy exertion that's creating the drive to exercise.
And the pro athletes that I work with, they can have really radically different sleep schedules
in and out of season because when they're in season as a soccer player running up and down
the field, it creates a drive to sleep. So if you're somebody
who's struggling to fall asleep or stay asleep, exercise more. I already exercise 20 minutes every
day. Exercise 40. It will help if you care. I think the other thing that we have to be careful
of is we talk a lot about eight hours of sleep. That's really a bell curve average of a distribution
of a population. And a lot of people would say,
you know, the average really isn't eight, it's seven. Seven is the number when you look at
research seems to be linked to the best health outcomes. As you go higher than seven, getting
to eight or nine or fewer than seven, you know, six, five, that's where you start to see all the
terrible things you talked about, cognitive decline, heart disease, all that stuff to start
to go up. So, you know, I meet a lot of people who go to bed at nine o'clock and their alarm set for six.
I've got no problem with that, but you're seeking nine hours and you're here because
it takes you an hour or two to fall asleep.
Well, if it takes you two hours to fall asleep, you're still getting seven hours of sleep.
That might be what you need.
And this idea that you need nine or can get nine is actually the problem.
It's sort of like getting, having a bunch of buddies that are professional football players.
And you get in your mind that to be elite, you have to eat a pizza and a half every night because
that's what they do. Well, you're just a five foot eight sleep doctor. And now you're going to
your doctor needing an appetite stimulant. I need appetite. Why can't he, can't finish my dinner?
A not so great doctor will give it to you.
A good doctor would say, why can you not?
Tell me about your dinner.
It's two pizzas.
I eat one large pizza and a half of another one.
Why are you doing that?
Because that's going to make my health great.
No, it's not.
So you're saying you get halfway through your first pizza and you don't want any more food.
That's not a problem.
That's your body saying you don't want any more food. That's not a problem. That's your body saying you don't want any more pizza. You're not a 6'6 football player trying to gain weight and be on
the O-line for the Packers. So I think we get this weird expectation because, again, of the media
that if you're not getting eight hours of sleep, you're going to die a horrible death. And that's
a terrible pressure to take with you to bed at night. Somebody says, look, Chris, I get seven
hours of sleep every night. When I try to get eight, I often struggle to fall asleep. And when I get my seven,
you could give me an opportunity to take a nap during the middle of the day. I don't think I
could fall asleep if I tried. Then that sounds like you're doing pretty well with seven.
And understand there's a lot of people out there whose seven is the number for them. It's not eight.
More is not always more. So I think you
have to be very careful with that as well too. I think consistency of schedule extends beyond just
your wake-up time. If you can exercise in the morning every day, if you can try to eat your
meals at the same time every day, if you can seek bright light in the morning and eat your lunch at
the office outdoors and try to dim lights in the evening on the same sort of schedule.
I think that 24-hour schedule can really impact people's sleep quite well.
And then the final thing that I think is really important is just have a plan for having troubles
with your sleep.
If I meet somebody at a dinner party and they're about my age and they say, you know, Chris,
my entire life, I've never had a bad night of sleep.
I would find that fascinating and really jarring versus, yeah, several nights a month, I might
struggle to fall asleep.
I'm like, yep, well, there you are.
You're normal.
That's how normal people operate.
Normal people sometimes don't feel hungry for lunch, so they skip it.
And they think to themselves, weird, because I like lunch, but I'm just not that hungry today. And they don't feel hungry for lunch, so they skip it. And they think to themselves, weird,
because I like lunch, but I was not that hungry today. And they don't question their appetite.
There's no dire consequence. Oh, God, I just skipped lunch. I'm starving to death. That's it.
I think this is the beginning of the end for me. I should give away all my possessions because I skipped lunch. Nobody goes to that place with appetite. Man, you have two nights where you
don't sleep the way you've anticipated you're gonna sleep.
It can be really rough for some people
versus, oh, I had two nights of bad sleep.
Oh, well, I'm sure tomorrow will be fine.
So I think that paying attention to sleep
and valuing sleep, but working on not stressing about it.
Let's control what we can control.
Be in bed by 11 o'clock, be out of bed by seven.
There, that's what you can control.
Man, Gilded Age.
We got a new episode.
And I forgot about that.
It's 10 o'clock.
It's 11 o'clock.
I could watch that.
See what happens with the railroad and the fight over the opera house.
Or I could go to bed, get my sleep, and deal with watching the Gilded Age tomorrow.
Those are tough choices to make.
But that's where we've got to be.
And then understand that sometimes we'll go to bed and not fall asleep right away. We're okay. We're normal.
That's fine. Like just being in bed resting can be wildly restorative for people.
Where do you fall on screen time and its proximity to whatever it is that you're doing to, you know,
like get into bed or fall asleep? Because of, it seems like that's become religion these days.
You know, like you need to be off of computers, off of TVs,
off of this or put blue blockers on them and all this stuff, you know,
one hour, two hours before you do this,
or else it's going to just profoundly disrupt your melatonin production or
whatever. What's your take on that?
Yeah. I mean, to me, it's Usain Bolt shoes.
You know what I'm saying?
He's getting ready to run a race and you're like, well, I got some better shoes than those that you're wearing.
They'll radically change the way you're going to run.
No, they're not.
I mean, you might shave a quarter of a second off here or there.
And then the flip side is if I wear his shoes in the race, it doesn't change anything about if I'm trying to get my
running to the level of his. The shoes are the last thing. So to me, do these things make a
difference? Yes. Are they making a big difference for the people who come to see me? Absolutely not.
Oh, you know, Chris, it took me six hours to fall asleep. I've struggled ever since I was a
teenager to sleep. I got these blue blocker glasses and it's all fine now. Said nobody ever.
So that's not to diminish their importance. It's just that what are you looking to achieve? Chris,
I'm a pretty good sleeper. Sometimes I do struggle a little bit to fall asleep. It's
not that big of a deal, but I have a job where I have to be on a screen pretty much late into
the night every night to get the game
film ready for the coach the next day. Oh, okay. Well, here, try these blue blockers. That might
help you initiate sleep a little bit faster. Great. So I think that's where we have to kind
of be with these things. I always find this advice to some degree laughable, like, okay,
well, two hours before you go to bed, screens need to be off. Great. Check. Screen's
off. What am I doing now for the next two hours between eight and 10 o'clock when I go to bed?
Just going to sit here in the dark, look at my hands. So the idea that we can't sit down and
watch a little TV before we go to bed, I think it's absurd. Just dim the room, maybe not have
a cup of coffee with it. But if you want to watch an episode of Yellowstone, see what ripping the guys in the barn house
are up to before you go to bed, go right ahead.
And if you're doing that every night, it starts to become a marker of good sleep.
To me, I'm just waiting for the person who said, I've had disastrous sleep all my life,
but I stopped watching television in the hour before I went
to bed and now that's all gone. I think these are details. These are like little fine tunings that
we do. Like, hey, I'm Usain Bolt's track coach. I've noticed that on your start, you're hitching
your left elbow. I want you to bring that a little closer to your body because I think that's going
to give you a little bit more thrust in your start and maybe shave an eighth of a second. That instruction is not for the person who shows up at
the track and says, I've never run before. Teach me. Okay. Well, okay. You're wearing work boots.
Let's start there and let's stretch and we'll do a very light workout and tomorrow we'll build upon
that and we'll get you up to a place where that thing I
just told Mr. Bolt will apply to you, but it doesn't apply to you right now. It's irrelevant
to you because it's just a, it's a, and we, we spend so much time talking about these things
in the media, blue blocker glasses and dropping your temperature from 67 to 65. Meaningful, yes.
But for the vast majority of people who are buying that magazine at the checkout line
because they're really struggling with their sleep,
you're not there yet.
We need to unwind a lot more things
before we start working on which blue blocker glasses
are gonna work best for you.
These are not really solutions to problems.
These are adjustments we make to people who are already sleeping pretty well,
but want that score on their aura ring to go from a 93 to a 95. That's what those people are,
that's what that stuff's for, I think. Yeah. I mean, it's interesting to hear you say that
because what goes along with that is a certain amount of just forgiving your humanity, you know what I'm
saying? Yeah, absolutely. I want to live in the real world. I want to grab this TV show with my
partner lying on the couch with dim lights in the room. And of course, that's going to be okay. And
that rather than focusing on these tiny little things that might be tweaks or optimizers,
why don't we start out with the
bigger things? 100%. And simultaneously forgive those little things and the fact that we're not
doing them because if we obsess on them, they're actually going to become another stressor, which
then piles onto the problem. Of course. Absolutely. And there's nothing wrong with trying. I mean,
if somebody out there is listening, they're like, nope, nope. I bought some blue blocker glasses
from Swanwick and changed my life. Then great. I'm really happy
for you. I just don't think when I look at the population, that's something that most people
could bank on. Not to pick on them. I love Swanwick's glasses. I think they're great.
I have no financial relationship with them. But I don't want to be disingenuous of like,
oh my God, your years and years of sleep
problems would be solved by this noise machine that you're going to sit next to your pillow.
Like I, unless you're years and years of problems because of a dog that sleeps next to you makes a
lot of noise. I don't think it's going to do anything for you. Pink noise, purple noise,
green noise, brown doesn't matter. It's that's, these are just little tiny little adjustments
here that we're talking about. They're not, oh, it was because I was using a brown noise machine.
I needed a pink noise machine.
That was the reason why my sleep has been miserable for the last decade.
Yeah, no, that's not the way that works.
Save your money.
No, no, that makes a lot of sense.
I love the fact that it was sort of like, you know, at the end of the day, it's like,
let's get back to the basics.
Let's focus on the fundamental,
like your basic lifestyle. 100%. And media doesn't want to hear about basics. Podcasts like basics.
Media does not like basics because we got to get your attention on the cover of that magazine.
If it says, hey, exercise is good for sleep. Nobody cares about that. Like everybody's like,
I've heard that before. Right. It's like, it's sort of like, you know, all those things that
you were told when you were nine years old, pretty much still applies.
That's right.
Right.
What about the person who crinkles aluminum foil and whispers in the microphone on the,
what about that?
Like, yeah, sure.
Fine.
If that's your thing, but it's not going to touch exercise.
Right.
And it's like, you're saying like, it's not that none of these things matter.
And like, it's not like you shouldn't try them all.
It's just like, sure. Try away. It's not that none of these things matter. And it's not like you shouldn't try them all. It's just like-
Sure, try away.
It's free.
Let's put things in the right perspective
in the right order in terms of like
how they might actually play a role and contribute.
It makes a lot of sense.
Helping somebody.
Somebody's watching.
This feels like a good place for us
to come full circle as well.
And I always wrap these conversations
with the same question,
which is in this container of a good life project.
If I offer up the phrase to live a good life, what comes up?
To live a good life, find time to rest.
And if rest turns to sleep, good for you.
Thank you.
Hey, before you leave, if you love this episode, say that you'll also love the conversation
we had with Dr. Eric Prather about the fundamentals
of sleep hygiene. You'll find a link to Eric's episode in the show notes. This episode of Good
Life Project was produced by executive producers, Lindsay Fox and me, Jonathan Fields, editing help
by Alejandro Ramirez, Christopher Carter crafted our theme music and special thanks to Shelley
Adele for her research on this episode. And of course,
if you haven't already done so, please go ahead and follow Good Life Project in your favorite
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Until next time, I'm Jonathan Fields, signing off for Good Life Project. The Apple Watch Series 10 is here.
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