Good Life Project - How’s That Working Out for You?

Episode Date: June 18, 2015

One the fastest ways to accelerate your growth, personal or professional, is to seek out and ask for guidance from mentors. People who've been where you're looking to go and are open to sharing their stumbles, wins and wisdom.But, there's something that often happens when a mentor gives feedback that does not validate or, even worse, straight-up shoots down what you want to do. You fight the feedback, and often, the mentor.When I'm in the playing the role of mentor and this happens, it's not unusual for me to ask a mentee who is refusing to open to a new possibility or give up a position or decision that's being proven increasingly wrong..."how's that working out for you?"Why this refusal to open to the input of those we seek to guide us is pretty interesting. Because you were looking for the wrong thing. You wanted validation, but the mentor's job is to speak truth, at least their truth.Because, when you're trying to create something great...You don’t need validation, you need truth.We talk about this phenomenon and what to do when it happens in this week's short and sweet Good Life Riff. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Hey there, it's Jonathan here with this week's Good Life Project riff. The name of today's is, Hey, how's that working out? So every once in a while, I think about being a therapist. And then I remember that chocolate isn't necessarily the answer to everything. Although frankly, I still find that debatable. The other thing is I tend to have a fairly low tolerance for an action. So then there's one other thing that really puzzles me. So here's a common scenario. An entrepreneur or aspiring entrepreneur is struggling, or they just want some mentoring outside perspective, maybe. So they seek out a mentor and share their concept. They lay out everything they've been doing and plan to do. Occasionally, I'm that

mentor. So if you know me at all, you know I'm loving but direct. Life's too short to dance around the truth. I think if you're heading off the rails or you're already in a ditch but don't know it, I will tell you. And if I have thoughts on what might make it work better, I'll share them as well. So am I right? Who knows? But if you come to me because you think I can help, I'm assuming you're open to the idea that something I share might add value. I once had a successful fitness industry entrepreneur share his dream plan with me. He'd written it himself and run all the numbers by his good friend who was a Harvard MBA, but one who knew nothing about the industry. The projections painted a picture of a stunning success, but the assumptions upon which they

were built were total fiction. So I went data point by data point and ended up without intention kind of shredding his plan. His response, royally pissed off. So he threw the document across the room and said, well, then that's, you know, what's your big effing idea? So anger in response to sought after advice is a huge tell for failure. Not because I'm right and you're wrong, but because you're looking for the wrong thing from me. When you're building something you want desperately to matter. You don't need validation. You need truth. And if that truth blows up your concept, your dream, your vision, or current failing venture to smithereens, that's actually a good thing to experience as fast and early as possible. Better a reality check and a pivot now than a 10 times catastrophe 10 months later,

10,000 or 10 trips to the hospital from now. Determination to deliver that specific outcome can be really powerful, but blind attachment to a specific way to deliver an outcome when experience, information, and insight totally invalidate all of your opening assumptions at every turn, that's not persistence. It's arrogance. Stay open to the possibility that you guessed wrong, that you may need to re-guess and test a hundred times before you get it right, and that others might be able to drop that 100 down to 10.

If, and this is a huge if, you'll let them in. Look at your assumptions and actions and ask yourself on a regular basis, hey, how's that working out for me? Focus is good. Openness is mandatory. But blind arrogance is death. The moment you think you know better than everybody else, you lose. And so does everybody that you seek to serve. That's a wrap on today's Good Life Project riff. I hope you enjoyed it. As always, if it resonates, love it. If you would share it around

and if it feels right to you, head on over to iTunes and just share a quick review. I'm Jonathan Fields, signing off for Good Life Project. Thank you.