Good Life Project - In It Together: Nobody Opts Out of the Human Condition

Episode Date: June 29, 2017

We tend to think that once we get to a certain place in life, everything just gets all dreamy. And, that makes us sometimes hold those who we look to as teachers and leaders to a different standard. But, what if we're all just in it together? What if life happens, humanity and all of its stumbles and struggles, highs and lows, grace and grind, no matter how far we get into a path of discovery? Nobody gets to opt out of the human condition.What if leading and living a good life wasn't about learning and practicing our way out of the realities of day-to-day existence, but rather owning the fact that, no matter what may come our way, the essential ingredients for a meaningful existence are here, in front of us, in each moment? Even the hard ones. What if a good life is not a place at which we arrive, but a lens through which we see and create our world?That's what we're talking about in today's GLP Riff. And, as part of that discussion, we offer a question to ask that just might guide better decisions as we tell the story of our lives. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

So I'm sitting here today and I'm kind of tired and it's been a challenging few days or maybe even a few weeks capped off by some tech meltdowns and some all sorts of different small things that have added up to struggle. And I'm the guy who goes out there in the world and says, there are ways and practices. I'm the fill your three good life buckets guy, like deepen into connection, make that bucket overflowing, deepen into contribution and overflow it and fill that vitality bucket.

And there's this interesting thing that happens in the world of spirituality and, quote, self-help, personal development, positive psychology, living your life well. And that is, I don't know, for lack of a better word, this thing that I call shiny happy life syndrome. And it's this notion that just because you're on the path where you're devoting a substantial amount of your time and energy to figuring stuff out, somehow you get to opt out of the day-to-day reality of there being awesome days along the way, there being moments of profound elevation and connection and deep and meaningful purpose and contribution and elevation, and also moments that just outright suck.

And we're not supposed to own that, right? When you're in this space of writing books or speaking about it, or for those who coach or for those who are professionals or practitioners in the space, there's supposed to be like this wall. And I wonder sometimes whether we're doing a disservice because everyone I know who is out there trying to do good work as in some way, shape, or form a professional who is helping, who is trying to mentor, to coach, to speak, to think, to lift, to guide, man, we're right there

alongside of you. There's nobody who I look to who takes the place of preaching from on high. I tend not to believe that because we're in this together. And there are some folks who have, through some blend of fortune, some blend of fierce intention, some blend of just ridiculously hard work, figured out a way to piece together what they do and be compensated for it on a level that allows them to spend the vast majority, if not all of their time, their contribution time, diving into these big questions. these questions and develop ideas and patterns and systems and methods that they may be able to turn around and share with others and have those things in some way be of service, while at the same time feeling like they're really, they're sparked, they're lit up and doing the work that they're here to do.

And I count myself in that bucket. You know, I've, through a blend of all those different things, serendipity and work and all of that, found my way to navigating a life and a vocation that allows me to do that. And at the same time, I don't get to opt out of the human condition, you know. And I think it's actually people in this quote space want to present themselves as having figured it all out to a certain extent. They don't want to show the fact that they're human. We're human. I'm human. And there are going to be days where everything is just amazing. And I'm acting like the kindest, most loving, giving person in the world and things are going my way. And there'll be days where I'm just going to be an idiot. And I'm going to be grumpy. And I'm going to be overtired because I've taken on too much and I haven't been sleeping well and I have forgotten the lessons of my own work and stopped filling my buckets and I'm empty to need a bit of a reset. I'm going to need to give my own self a time out, a good life supposed to be beyond, you know, all the challenges and

the struggles. And I think it's, it's kind of BS. And increasingly, I really feel like that, that that is a disservice, because it creates this illusion that somehow, you know, there is a there there, where you get to opt out of the human condition and everything is just fabulous and unicorns and butterflies and you've got it figured out. And it ain't true. The people who I know who are living the most extraordinary lives are still living the human condition every single day. They have moments of grace. They have moments of struggle. They have moments of illumination. They have moments of darkness. They have moments of love and moments of fierce isolation. They have moments of elevation and lightness and joy and moments of darkness and struggle.

Because we're all in this together. The only thing that I've come to believe separates people who are in the, quote, profession side of living a good life and people who are on the sort of trying to figure it out side is that what I said before, we have in some way, shape, or form figured out a way to piece together our lives so that we can devote more time to the bigger questions and sometimes full time. create a sustainable life and livelihood, spending almost all of our waking energies or contribution energies diving into these bigger questions, and then turning around and sharing what we know. And I think it's probably time for those folks, those leaders, us, me, to also opt out of the illusion that we've got it dialed in, that there's a place at which you arrive where everything is just awesome and somehow we're there. Because two things, there is no place and we are not there. Maybe in the texts, maybe in the ancients, there is this notion that we reach this place of enlightenment where we all just step aside and everything's awesome.

I haven't met the person yet who is in that place. But here's the important thing, though. What I want you to know from this is that is not a prerequisite to a life well lived. We don't have to wait to be in that place. A life well lived is about what happens when you open your eyes this day, when you choose rather than react, when you become clear on what and who matters in your lives. And every single day you cultivate a practice. We cultivate a practice. I cultivate a practice that elevates those things and exalts them to the level of must. And then we build our decisions and our behaviors and our actions around those things. So there's a little bit of a standard

that I try to adhere to as I choose how to bring myself to the world and as different opportunities from the smallest things to the largest things present themselves to me in my life. And I ask myself, will this allow me to absorb myself in activities and relationships

that fill me up while surrounding myself with people I cannot get enough of. Simple as that. You know? And if I do that every day, and if as something comes to me, right? basically tune out and spend the next half hour blowing off stuff and just diving deep down the what's on my social media thread,

will that allow me to spend the greatest amount of time absorbed in activities and relationships that fill me up while surrounding myself with people I cannot get enough of? Probably not. So what could I do instead of that? If I instead hit pause for just a heartbeat and say, what could I do instead of this? What is the opportunity cost here? What else might I do in

this 30 minute window of time that will get me closer to that aspiration? Maybe it'll help. You know, then you move through the day, not making all these big grand gestures or big, huge decisions, but actually it's the little tiny things that add up. And knowing along the way that this moment is everything. That there is no enlightened place that we get to. There is an awakening to the notion that we create that space within us and all around us every moment. And there will be times when it's awesome. And there will be times when it outright sucks. And there will be times when we struggle.

And there will be times when we want things to be different. And there will be times where we do not ever want it to end because it is so damn good. And that's life. That is a life well lived. It's not a life of illusory aspiration where everything is awesome. It is a life where we are fully engaged with the truth of our existence and intentional about the way we spend each moment now, today. I don't get to opt out of it. You don't get to opt out of it. Nobody does. The invitation here is what if you opted in

to the understanding, to the idea that this moment is every moment. What would you do? What would your next choice be? What would your next choice be? What would your next action be? What if your good life wasn't something that you built over time? It was something that you lived now. And we're all in it together.

I'm Jonathan Fields, signing off for Good Life Project.