Good Life Project - In the Blink of an Eye | Orlando Bowen

Episode Date: August 13, 2019

In the blink of an eye, Orlando Bowen’s (http://www.orlandobowen.com/) life would never be the same. One moment, he was celebrating the signing of a new contract to play pro football, the next he was on the ground, being physically attacked by members of law enforcement, and suffering an injury that would end his career and lead to a season of life that would profoundly change him. Even though he was a victim, he found himself charged with a crime that, though eventually exonerated, led so many to abandon him. Bowen was forced to reckon with the injustice of the moment, while scrambling to figure out how to take care of his family. It took years, but, led by a giant heart and commitment to service, he rebuilt his living and life. Now a highly sought-after speaker and the founder and Executive Director of One Voice One Team Youth Leadership Organization, Orlando inspires people to get off the sidelines and become GameChangers in business and life. And, remarkably, 10 years after the incident that would forever change his life, he wrote a public letter of forgiveness (https://www.thestar.com/news/gta/2014/03/30/football_player_who_was_beaten_by_cops_pens_letter_of_forgiveness.html) to his attackers. We explore this powerful story in today’s conversation.-------------Have you discovered your Sparketype yet? Take the Sparketype Assessment™ now. IT’S FREE (https://sparketype.com/) and takes about 7-minutes to complete. At a minimum, it’ll open your eyes in a big way. It also just might change your life.If you enjoyed the show, please share it with a friend. Thank you to our super cool brand partners. If you like the show, please support them - they help make the podcast possible. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

So in the blink of an eye, Orlando Bowen's life would never be the same. One moment, he was celebrating the signing of a new contract to play pro football. And the next, he was on the ground being physically attacked by members of law enforcement and suffering an injury that would end his career and lead to a season of life that would profoundly change him. Even though he was a victim, he found himself charged with a crime that, though eventually exonerated, led so many people around him to pretty much completely abandon him. And he was forced to reckon with not just the injustice of the moment,

but also scrambling to figure out how to take care of his family while he got everything right again. And it took years, but really leading with a giant heart and a commitment to service, he rebuilt his living and his life. Now he is a highly sought after speaker and the founder and executive director of One Voice, One Team youth leadership organization. And Orlando inspires people to kind of get off the sidelines and become game changers in business and life,

really in every part of their being. And remarkably, 10 years after the incident that would forever change his life, he wrote a public letter of forgiveness to his attackers. We explore the moments along this journey and the powerful story in today's conversation. So excited to share it with you. I'm Jonathan Fields, and this is Good Life Project. The Apple Watch Series 10 is here. It has the biggest display ever.

It's also the thinnest Apple Watch ever, making it even more comfortable on your wrist, whether you're running, swimming, or sleeping. And it's the fastest charging Apple Watch, getting you 8 hours of charge in just 15 minutes. The Apple Watch Series X. Available for the first time in glossy jet

black aluminum. Compared to previous generations, iPhone XS or later required, charge time and actual results will vary. Mayday, mayday. We've been compromised. The pilot's a hitman. I knew you were going to be fun. On January 24th.

Tell me how to fly this thing. Mark Wahlberg. You know what the difference between me and you is? You're going to die. Don't shoot if we need him. Y'all need a pilot? Flight risk. I was born in Montego Bay. But you moved away. When I was born in Montego Bay.

But you moved away when I was young. I was three. Do you have memories from when you were really little? Vague. Very vague. I almost feel like some of the memories stem from my return visits. Yeah. As I, you know, shortly after we left, we'd go back. And I remember, you know, not wanting to leave because, you know, a cousin that was, we're close in age and we would, you know, just play a lot.

He was, you know, active. We were both very active and it was always hard to leave him. He since has moved to Toronto, which has been awesome. But I remember that. So what makes your family in Montego Bay, Jamaica decide, you know, Toronto looks pretty good? You know what? I feel like it was really centered around opportunities, right? Opportunities, long-term opportunities for growth, development, employment, you know, where we could do some things that wouldn't be possible in Jamaica.

So, yeah, I think that was definitely a driving force. My grandparents and an uncle of mine came or went first, or the first to go, and they spoke of the various opportunities to, you know, just be active in community and do things that not only make a difference, but also allow you to take care of your family and help family back home because of some economic opportunities and vocational opportunities. So that was the genesis of the transition. Yeah, because I can't imagine arriving from a tropical island to like, please tell me it didn't actually happen in the middle of winter.

It all depends on what time of year you arrive. We always say, right, because folks, you know, we've had family come and we have to make sure you pack all your sweaters and wear three of them. And we're like, why would we be wearing three sweaters? And then, you know, depending on when you land, it's like, oh, okay, that's why. Yeah. We have come to a completely different place. It's interesting that you mentioned there, you know, part of the reason for the move was economic opportunity, but part of it was also community and service.

It seems like from the earliest days, that's been just a really important value for you. And I guess it comes from the family. Yes, 100%. My grandparents were all about community, you know, and from what I understand, you know, my great-grandparents were the same in terms of doing your absolute best. And when I speak, I talk to folks about raising the bar, like with your efforts, you do some groundbreaking things. You curate audiences on a global scale that allow people to connect on a personal level where it comes to making a difference. And you raise the bar for people. You also raise the floor so that folks who may be willing or open to those things

have a place to step into so that they could also reach the bar. So in our family, we've always talked about raising the bar and raising the floor so that more people could access the bar. So in our family, we've always talked about raising the bar and raising the floor so the more people could access the bar. Yeah. I mean, it's a powerful sort of way to look at your role in the world, right? Because it makes it very other focused. Yes. So growing up as a kid, what type of kid are you? You know, I'm a, I'm a joker. You know, I'm like the fun, make fun of, you know, my parents, grandparents, like not, I shouldn't say make fun, but I would pretend to be, I'd get into character and I would, you know, you know, I would be pretending that I'm scolding the kids and, you know, I'd wear my grandmother's wig and walk around and, you know, just pretend that I was her. So I always like to have fun, like to be active outdoors, love being around people. And then, you know, just always wanted to, I had some role models, you know, growing up that I just wanted to be, you know, it wasn't like I wanted to be like them. It's like I wanted to be them.

Who was that? My uncle Henry was one of them. You know, he was amazing at sports. Basketball was his passion, but he also loved computers, you know, before that was a thing, you know, you know, I would, we would spend just hours and hours outside playing games, playing sports. He actually, when I came to Canada, it was my mom, my uncle Henry, and I that came. So I think that connection has never, the power of that connection has never waned. He's always been my go-to guy. But he's modeled excellence and service.

So he's one. And then my parents, in terms of their effort, their grit, resilience, some of the things you don't even realize in the moment, right? You know, we often say the 2020 happens when you stop and reflect. And the year-end reflection is that I really appreciate it because it allows you to kind of take a stock of what's happening, what's important, where you are, why you are where you are, why you're feeling how you're feeling. And life happens so fast that oftentimes we don't even stop to check in with ourselves around those things. It's like you do this thing and you're on to the next. So, you know, I've learned over the years to kind of stop and just kind of think about what's happening and what's next, but also being reflective on what we've learned through life and how it unfolds.

Yeah, you mentioned your mom's, your parents' grit coming here. What was she actually doing when she got to Toronto? Yeah, so she was working full-time at the Toronto Star newspaper, and she was also a full-time nursing student. So she was putting in a lot of hours just trying to, you know, get ahead, try to do something of significance. You know, she chose a vocation that was also about around service. When my dad came, he joined us a couple of years later.

He was working, you know, like 9 to 5 was job 1, 5.15 to 1 a.m. was job 2, and then drove a taxi cab on the weekends, right? So, you know, they were grinding, right, to be able to create opportunities and to, you know, we were obviously living in public housing. So, you know, one of the goals was to kind of get us in a situation where we didn't have to be in that space. So they were working hard to just make things better for me and then for my sister when she came along 12 years later. Oh, wow. 12 years later. Yeah, just 12 years between us. Wow. Yeah. So they were really modeling. I mean, do you remember even as a kid,

were you kind of aware of how fiercely they were working to sort of like create this new life? Or is it really more upon reflection? Definitely upon reflection. I actually thought everybody's dad that had a dad had three jobs. Like that was my reference point, right? And other like male role models in my life, they also had multiple jobs. My uncles had multiple jobs or were going to school full time and doing something. That was my norm almost. So, you know, I didn't realize that that wasn't the case for everyone.

I knew that everyone had like their parents or not everyone had a dad in their house. That I understood because many of my friends were in that type of situation growing up with their grandparents or other relatives. But I didn't realize how significant their efforts were until later. Yeah. Have you ever, I mean, sort of, you know, looking back or, you know, like as an adult, have you ever sort of like gone back and sat down with them and sort of had conversations about that time yeah yeah i have recently actually last christmas we were at the dinner table my parents now live in tampa florida ah so they decided they making their way slowly yes the the weather the

weather the elements you know yeah so so you know love them and love them for that as well. It gives us a great vacation opportunities. They were talking about some of the sacrifices that they made, and they're kind of joking around about it. And then, you know, I said, well, what else have you sacrificed? Because I get it. Like, you go through certain things, and certain things you look back on, and you're like, oh, that was cool, that was funny. You kind of laugh get it. Like you go through certain things and certain things you look back on and you're like, oh, that was cool. That was funny.

You kind of laugh about it. But there's often some things that weren't so funny that we probably, you know, are suppressed in the back of our minds because they bring other emotions with them in terms of sacrifices made. So it just made sense that there would be some of those as well. So as they were joking around, I was like, well, what else did you go without so that we could have a chance? Like,

what other sacrifices did you make? Right? And so, and then it got a little, you know, serious. They're like, well, you know what? And we did what we had to do, right? And we didn't want to burden you with the thoughts of the sacrifice. We just, because we wanted you to just focus on the opportunities, right? So, you know, it just, and we do that for others, right? But you just, I guess you never, I had never really stopped to think how much someone else could have possibly done for us that would forever remain unspoken, but honored through the opportunities that we have in front of us on a day-to-day-to-day basis.

Yeah, I think a lot of times, especially with our parents, we don't actually see them as human beings until with their own lives, their own struggles, their own concerns, their own hopes, fears, and aspirations until much later in life when we're like, oh, these are people. And I think very often also, either you reach a certain moment in your life, I feel like oftentimes the trigger is when and if you become a parent as well. And then you start to understand that there's a just changes you in some pretty profound ways and what you're willing to do. You were also, when you were younger, really into athletics. Yeah.

When did that start to show up? Yeah. I always wanted to play sport. We couldn't really afford organized sport. So when I got to middle school was when we started, you know, I went to a school that would compete against other schools. And I was like, yeah, this is awesome. I was so excited. You know, I remember watching, I was playing in a, I made the basketball team.

I was one of the tallest kids. Made the basketball team. I was so pumped. I went to my uncle's place. We were watching Michael Jordan on video, video, old school video called Come Fly With Me. And I was, you know, seeing him jump and dunking and hitting, you know, big shots. And I was just like, that's going to be me like this weekend at the tournament. Right. So, you know, I had these visions of what was going to happen. I remember, you know, getting,

I was playing defense on my guy and he's coming down, he gets to about the free throw line and he pulls up for a jump shot. So I jump towards him, hand outstretched, challenging the shot, momentum bringing me closer towards him. He misses the shot, but my momentum was carrying me towards the other team's basket. So our point guard, Vaughn, gets the

rebound. So I start running and I'm like, Vaughn, pass me the ball. I'm open. And he pass, heaves the ball up to me and I'm thinking, this is it? My moment, just like MJ, just like I saw on the video, right? There's nothing between me and the basket. I grabbed the ball. I take a bounce. And I'm thinking, oh, I'm about to do something special, man. I take another bounce. And then on the third bounce, the ball bounced off my foot and went out of balance.

And I'll never forget our coach, Coach Greg Wood. He used to always wear a baseball cap to, to the games. And when the, when the ball went out of bounds, he took his hat off. He slammed it down. He turned to our point guard, Vaughn, and he said, Vaughn, you know, you shouldn't pass him the ball. You know that he can't dribble. And those words landed so powerfully with me that I was like, he didn't even get mad at me. Like he got mad at a dude that passed me the ball. Like that's serious, right?

I must be, you know, really bad. And I said, never again will I be weak link on any team that I play on. And that was a catalyst for me. I asked him, I went to my uncle, I said, what do I have to do to be the best at what I do? And he said, you have to be willing to work harder and smarter. And I said, well, what does that mean? He's like, hours and hours when others are asleep or unwilling. So I said, cool. So I got a basketball. And from that,

I started out for two hours every morning, the summer between the seventh and eighth grade. I'd dribble. I'd average maybe six to seven hours on the court, at some court, playing basketball, practicing, playing against older guys. I would ride my bike sometimes 15 miles because 15 miles to play with a guy that was playing on the junior national team. I just wanted to be around that. So, you know, that was that moment that I had with Coach Greg Wood was so transformative for me, you know, in terms of my commitment to just do something with whatever gifts I was given. Yeah.

It's so interesting also that part of what really triggered this shift in you, it wasn't that the coach tore into you. It was like that he tore into somebody else for not knowing that, you know, like you weren't quote good enough to be able to get the ball. And it's like, it's a more complex, nuanced thing there. Yeah. So it was, you know, again, I was just like, wow, that's deep for me. I don't know how I would have processed it had he, you know, pointed at me and said something to me directly. But to me, it was like, it was kind of profound. Like, man, I must be really bad.

I must suck for him not to get mad at me and to get mad at the person that gave me the ball. But also, it goes to that value set that you've shared. It has been instilled in you from a young age. Part of the reason you do this is your own joy and expression. But part of it is it's service to the bigger community, to the team, you know, like, and, and, you know, it's almost like your current ability then caused somebody else in your immediate community, some level of pain. And it's like, I wonder if there was almost also some, like a feeling of responsibility of like, I don't want people that I care about to be brought down or

attacked because of wherever I am. It's interesting, right? It's interesting that that moment has stayed with you also. This is a lot of years ago. A lot of years. Yeah, absolutely. So that becomes a big catalyst for you. When you show up the next year, are you different? Oh, I'm very different. I, you know, and that work ethic didn't stop. Like it, you know, you couldn't find me without a ball. I had a, when I couldn't bring like my regular size basketball, I had a mini ball that I would, so I would dribble around on the street as I was walking and, you know, with my friends. So it just became something that, you know, I just, I was like, I can't make any excuses, right, as to why I'm not a contributor. Despite what happened, I still have, I have a choice, right, to do something.

So it's interesting in terms of how you've, your perspective on how you've articulated looking at that situation and even relative to what I do now, you know, through speaking or with our charitable work. Yeah. It's sort of like a broader lens. Same time, you're also, well, I guess basketball is really a big central thing, but you're also, when does football actually come in for you? Football comes in in high school. Okay. Yeah. So I, you know, I was, you couldn't get me off the basketball court. You know, I was just so passionate about the game. I got really good at the game that our team, like our high school team to, you know, the championship, like we won the region and it was like a big deal. You know, a friend of mine that

had been playing football since he was eight comes up to me and he's like listen man you're like big and you're strong and you're fast like you should you know consider football so I was like I've never you know I've never played before and he says well like you could do really well and you know so I was like okay that's interesting you know what do you what do y'all do if it snows? And he's like, oh, we play. And I said, what about like rain, like freezing rain? And he's like, oh, we play. And I was like, no, man, I can't do that. I'm an indoor climate controlled type of guy, man. You know, I'm from the islands. I don't, you know, I'll play in the snow, but I'm not playing a game in the snow, right? So, you know, that kind of, that was that for my freshman year in high school, sophomore year in high school. I was like, yeah, I'm not playing. And then one of the coaches came to me and said, you know, you have a lot of potential. I know you pride yourself on defense and basketball. basketball, do you think you could lock down some, like the other team's wide receiver whose job is to catch the ball? Do you think you could apply the same principles of defense

on the football field? And I said, yeah, I probably could. And he's like, so here's what I'm going to, I'm going to put you up against our best wide receiver. You do not let him catch the ball. If by chance he does catch it, I want you to hit him, tackle him to the ground. And I was like, got you. So I went out there, you know, played defense. He didn't catch the ball the first time, didn't catch the ball the second time,

he caught the ball the third time and I tackled him. And I said, oh, I could do this. Our listeners, you can see the smile that just came across my nose. Yeah, so that was like, all right, that's, you know, that felt good. I could do this. So, and that was the beginning of my football journey. Charge in just 15 minutes. The Apple Watch Series X. Available for the first time in glossy jet black aluminum. Compared to previous generations, iPhone XS or later required. Charge time and actual results will vary.

Mayday, mayday. We've been compromised. The pilot's a hitman. I knew you were going to be fun. On January 24th. Tell me how to fly this thing. Mark Wahlberg. You know what the difference between me and you is?

You're going to die. Don't shoot him. We need him. Y'all need a pilot. Flight risk. A couple years later, you find yourself in Northern Illinois University, right? Home of the Huskies. Right?

Yes. But playing football. I mean, was football one of the things that brought you to the school? Was that part of the reason you went there? Yeah. Yeah. So once I started playing high school ball, one of the things that brought you to the school? Was that part of the reason you went there? Yeah. So once I started playing high school ball, one of the things that happened was there were older guys, a couple of years older than me, being recruited to go to major football programs. So the scouts were coming up to our high school, looking at some of those guys.

And we had, at one point, we had eight guys on my senior, our varsity team that got Division I scholarships. Wow. Yeah. That's a huge percentage. It's crazy. Yeah. Especially, you know, from the Toronto area. Yeah.

So, you know, there were eyes. And they were kind of, the guys that went ahead of us would say, like, it's how amazing it is. And, you know, how much it's a family and there's like 110 guys on the team and you kind of bond and you go through challenges. And I'm like, yeah, yeah, I like that. And I'm like, and they pay for your schooling too. Cause I mean, shoot, that's, that's significant because education has always been big in our, in our house, um, in terms of the significance of it. So I was like, if I can get a scholarship,

that's a no-brainer. And football was the vehicle for that. So football became the focus. Yeah, so you end up in school playing and simultaneously, what'd you end up studying? I did an undergrad in marketing and then a master's in the management

of information technology. Again, following on my Uncle Henry's footsteps. He was an IT guy. That connection never waned. But yeah, I love the thought. Marketing, again, connecting with people, connecting people with things that could help them. And then, you know, being connected to what I was familiar with in terms of what my Uncle Henry. Yeah. So IT. so did you do them?

That is interesting that long ago, we actually, I was just talking to somebody else, played for Penn State during a really interesting time, was red shirted, so he was there five years, did the undergrad and master's all sort of like during that window, is that what you did also? Yeah, I started as a freshman, but then I got injured my second year.

I had a stress fracture at L5. For those that don't know, that's the lower spine, lower back. Yeah, and that hairline crack in that vertebrae. Is that from a hit or just from something? No, it's just from... Use. Use and possibly from a hit. Could have been a trigger.

At the end of my sophomore year, I missed my whole sophomore season, true sophomore season. And they were like, you're probably never going to play this game again because what you have doesn't heal. You have two options, though. Like we could fuse, heat the bone up, fuse it together, or put you in a plastic cast. I chose a plastic cast for three months. It had Velcro straps at the side. I could take it off to shower or what have you. You know, faith is really big for us in our house as well.

And I was just praying, like, if I could actually make a difference in someone's life through this game of football, like, please let me play again. And if this is the path, then cool. Then it's the path. And I remember all the coaches that recruited us were fired because we didn't win the championship. You know, I was then, my rehabilitation was to be walking on a treadmill. If I have 4.1 miles per hour at a one degree incline for like 30 minutes. And I did that and was successful. And then they would increase the incline and slowly increase the speed. And I did that and was successful. And then they would increase the incline and slowly increase the speed until I started jogging.

And folks were like, he's jogging. It's crazy. And I was able to come back and play for three seasons. But all of that, that first season when I was hurt and I couldn't play, that was a, I had some moments in there as well where I was just like, man, I'm just going to party. You know, I don't have to go to practice. I don't have to, you know, and for like the first week, I think I was out like every night partying.

And then something just didn't feel right. I was like, this can't be my path. So I loaded up academically. I took like a semester and a half's worth of work each semester that I couldn't play. So then it got me ahead. And I was able to graduate early and then start my master's. Ah, got it. Yeah.

I mean, it's an interesting choice to make. I'm curious also, I mean, so, because you're there on athletic scholarship. So were you concerned at all that if you couldn't return to play, that you would also lose the scholarship? Well, so what they were going to do, because the assumption would be that it happened like football related, would be, and I had this conversation with the doctors, that I would then have to work at the university in marketing or ticketing the ticket office, something connected to athletics. And they would still honor my scholarship, but I would just have to work instead of being able to play. Yeah. So you end up going back, you end up playing. I mean, you also said something interesting, which is that playing for you, at least especially once you got to college, it wasn't just that you loved doing it.

It was a way of creating impact, which is an interesting frame to bring to the game. I mean, I can see especially a lot of older players like further into their careers tend to take on that. Like the role model, like how can I make a difference thing? It's interesting that that was in your head as a motivator for your desire to play

at a really young age. You know, it's interesting. Your observation is interesting. I always felt like you go to different stages or you have different life experiences. For me, it was the opportunity to play college ball and I'm around all these guys that come from all over, all across America and Canada.

And, you know, I'm thinking, you know what? Johnny off my high school team, he could do this. He could be in a spot like this as well. And had he known that he could do something like this, he may not have made some of the decisions that he made from a social perspective. Right. And I started feeling a responsibility to let people know what was possible, right? Because I didn't know, like, you know, it was all, it all was kind of new to me still because over a three-year period, I went from not playing the game to being on scholarship somewhere. And had I not been given that opportunity, who knows what the path would have been, right? So I started thinking,

well, there's, I'm not the only one that, you know, hasn't been exposed to that as a possibility. I had coaches, I had teammates that encouraged me to pursue or to be open to it. And that's what led me to that opportunity. And then to, you know, be in a position to be a starter and to, you know, all this other stuff is because other people paved the way, the older guys, and then lit the path. Right. So I should be doing that for someone else because they could, you know, there's guys that are better than I was for sure in high school that didn't get a scholarship because they didn't have access to some of the things that we had access to. So you come back, you're playing, you're doing well. And now when you graduate, you're graduating with two degrees. You're graduating with a master's degree in IT also.

What's the decision for the next step then? Well, we've put the work in partway through the program. We were being, it was, you know, a top 25 master's program. And so we were being recruited. We'd be like six months into the program. My classmates were being offered jobs, Silicon Valley, East Coast.

Like it was crazy. So we're like, man, like this is amazing. Like we're going to do this. Like, you know, so I was like, man, like, this is amazing. Like, we're going to do this. Like, you know, so I was like, okay, cool. So I wanted to be able to make money, help my family and create opportunities for others. Right. So I didn't know what that was going to look like. Maybe just sharing stories so that others could know what some of the things that are possible, like I had done for me through my coaches, to my teammates, through the older guys that went on scholarship before me. So I ended up, I took a job, a

consulting job at an amazing company in downtown Chicago. I had a condo right close to the lake, had a nice little car. I was excited. Life was good. Right. So you choose like the biz slash IT path as the center, knowing that maybe you'll do this other stuff, almost like the Robin Hood model, right? Like maybe that will take care of you, fund everything and give you the freedom to on the side, maybe go do some of the other sort of like inspirational stuff. Yeah. And then even within the teams, the team that I was on and the consulting team that I was on, I'd often be one encouraging people

and celebrating wins. And I'm quite animated at times. And so I would celebrate, we won a championship and I brought that sport element to our space. They're like, man, like you should do more of this type of stuff. And I was like, yeah, you know, who knows what the future holds. But then there was something that was missing, even though I was making, you know, really decent money, really good for from what I had been used to.

Really good money. I felt like something was missing. It was that whole raising the floor, was that whole idea of helping others who didn't have access to opportunities that I had access to, or maybe that the access was there, but they couldn't see it and didn't see themselves as persons who could step into those possibilities. Because I certainly didn't see myself as doing that as a vocation. And I wouldn't have seen it without the lighting of the path and the encouragement of folks who saw things in me that I didn't see in myself. You decided to make a jump.

So you leave school, you pretty much leave football behind. You go into the world of business incorporated in Chicago. But how far into that career do you start to realize something's missing and then start to look back into the world of football? Yeah, well, I remember a conversation. We were on a project down in Dallas, Texas. Loved Dallas. One of my friends was actually playing for the Cowboys at the time. And, you know, I remember being down there and there was our database guy.

I looked up to him, respected him, respect him a lot. We were working some really long hours. But I'm looking at him like, that's me. 15 years from now, I'm him. He's happy. He's, you know, he's doing his thing. So at dinner, I said to him, so what do you do for fun, George? And he looks at me like, fun?

I just work. And I was like, it was like someone let the air out of a balloon. I was like, what do you mean? Like, you don't do anything for fun? Do you have family? He's like, I don't have time for family. And I was like, that can't be me. That can't be me.

There has to be, I can't just, work can't be the only thing. I have to do something that contributes and gives back. And so funny enough, I was six months into my job, actually three and a half months into the job when I got a call from the Toronto Argonauts in the Canadian Football League. And they said, are you still interested in playing football? And I said, I'm interested in serving. If I make the team, would I have a chance to serve in community? And they said, absolutely. So I said, then yeah, I'm interested in playing football. Then if that's possible, because I started looking at it from like this, I took a leave of absence to pursue the possibility of serving through the sport of football. That's interesting also. It wasn't,

I'm completely done. It was like, let me take a leave of absence to create some space to see what this feels like. In your mind, when you did that, were you already done with that thing that you were leaving or were you genuinely just experimenting like maybe i'll go back maybe i won't i don't know yeah like i was like let me you know i always say you don't really know you know what's going to resonate unless you put yourself fully unless you fully immerse yourself in it so i took the leave of absence the you know the leadership at the company was real, you know, was amazing about it. Enforte is the name of the company.

And they were really amazing about it in terms of, listen, if it doesn't work out, well, you know, we'll hold your spot for, you know, three months for sure. And then, you know, we'll just have a conversation with you. Some people thought I was crazy, right? They're like, so you're going so you could, you know, like get to the NFL, right? And like, you know, make the mega bucks type thing because you're on like this leadership path here. And I said, I don't know. I just, I need to, I need to do something that contributes and gives back. So once I made the team, I immediately got involved in service. I was working with sick kids, homeless youth, refugee families, kids with cancer. We'd go in and read stories, very animated way to folks, young people who didn't get a chance to ever go home

and may not have the opportunity for their parents to come in and read to them often. So we did that. I was training police and racial sensitivity. I was going into schools with police officers and encouraging young people to stand up for the right thing, even when it's difficult to do so. So I was just trying to contribute because I knew I wanted to serve, but I didn't know how, like, I didn't know what exactly the, you know, what way was going to be the thing that would light me up. So I did a number of different things. I'm just like, well, I have time, so I'm going to be the thing that would light me up. So I did a number of different things. I'm just like, well, I have time, so I'm going to serve. My parents thought I was crazy because we finished the football season. It's like November. It's like minus five degrees.

And they're like, you're coming to Florida, right? I'm like, no, I'm going to, you know, I'm volunteering at this high school and, you know, doing some things to try to give back. So that was that. Yeah. So you're doing that for a chunk of years. Along the way, also, you fall in love. Yes.

And you're sort of like, you get married just in the beginning stages of starting a family. I guess about five years in or so, you had re-signed a new deal with your team. And then in the blink of an eye, everything changes in a really big way. Yeah. So I signed, so I married an amazing, amazing young lady named Sky. We had one son. I'm going into my fifth season. We had one son, Dante, and she was pregnant with our second and signed this contract extension. I'm excited to go out and celebrate with my teammates. So we're going to meet up at a carpool location and then go downtown Toronto. I'm excited to go out and celebrate with my teammates. So we're going to meet up at a carpool location and then go downtown Toronto.

I get to the location first. I'm talking on the phone. I'm excited to connect with my guys. And then I look over. I see two guys walking towards me who are armed with guns. One threatens to shoot me in the head. What do you think, as they're walking over, what's going through your mind?

So I'm skipping a few of the details. But as they're approaching me, one guy says, hey, man, what you got? Got any drugs? And I'm like, no. And the first thing I'm thinking was, man, if you only knew the work that I do to help kind of steer people on the right path or onto a better path. He wouldn't even ask me that question. But then I'm thinking, obviously he doesn't know, right? So I just said, no.

And I go back to my phone call. He stopped at the rear of the vehicle. Another guy kept walking. And the guy that stops says, are you sure you don't have anything? And I'm thinking, I just answered your question. Why would you be asking me if I'm short? That doesn't make any sense. And then I looked to see where the guy

who had continued walking was. And as I look over my shoulder, I didn't see him. And then I rotate to the opposite side and I notice he's standing in my blind spot. And I'm like, what's going on? So I take a step back so I could see both of them at the same time. And I said, what's happening? And that's when conversation escalated, grabbed me.

One guy said, you know, I'm a police officer. So I said, okay, cool. Because I work with police. I'm close with the police chief. We meet often to talk about community things. So I'm like, okay. He's like, do you mind if we go through your pockets? So I'm looking at it and I'm like, why?

But you know what? I'm going to give you the benefit of the doubt. I've got nothing to hide. Go ahead. They go through my pockets. They don't find anything. And then one of them puts his hand on my chest by my heart. And he's like, why is your heart beating so fast?

And I said, listen to me, man. I've got two grown men grabbing on me in a parking lot. And the other gentleman says, we're not two guys. We're two cops. And when he said that, he was literally shaking. His arms were like he was holding on to me. And his arm was shaking. And his eyes were wide.

And so I'm looking at him thinking, is he okay? And I looked at his partner like, are you seeing this? When he was holding on to me, I looked down and he had, like his sleeve had rolled up and there was a tattoo of an eagle with a dagger and blood dripping from, eagle with a dagger and its talons and blood dripping from the dagger. And I'm thinking, these guys aren't cops. This is some kind of setup or something. I don't know what's going on right now.

So I knock his hand off me, move towards the front of the vehicle. He grabs my jacket. I let my arms go behind me like my kids would say, like Naruto runs. So my jacket comes off. I move up the front, run in front of the vehicle then up the passenger side and i'm a pretty you know i'm playing linebacker i'm i'm a pretty fast guy so i'm like i'm out of here all right so as i was as i'm running out here stop or i'll shoot so i'm thinking these guys are cops so i stopped and i I said, what's going on? And they came at me, fists flailing.

And one guy's like, I'm going to break your effing leg. And he's trying to get my leg to collapse so he can get me to the ground. And all I'm thinking is I can't go to the ground because if they're beating on me like this while I'm standing up, if I go to the ground, it's a wrap. So I'm trying not to go down to the ground. I'm just saying, what's going on? What did I do? Oh my God, what did I do? And one of them, you know, grabs my arm. And at this time in my life, I'm like fairly strong, right? I'm bench pressing 450 pounds. I'm squatting like 600 pounds. And the adrenaline is flowing now, right? Because I'm, you know, it's fight or flight. So a guy grabs my arm. I pull my arm away.

He flies like 10 feet. And when he gathers himself, he puts his hand on his pistol, turns to his partner, and he looks at me and he says, I'm going to shoot him in the head. I swear to God. And when he said that, I thought, man, I'm not going to see my family again. This is it. Like, you're like this? I thought, man, I'm not going to see my family again. This is it.

You're like this? And that's when I knew that every decision that I made thereafter that would happen in the moment would either allow me to see my family again or not. So that's when I allowed them to take me down. And even as they got me down, the beating continued. The skin on my head split, and I was you know, just get out my head split. And, you know, I was face down and just feeling like, this is it. Like, God, I would never have dreamt in a million years that this is how I would die. And I haven't taught our son how to tie his laces yet. And I haven't, there's all these things that as a dad, as a husband, I had, you know, this is what I'm going

to, this is what we're going to do as a family. And all of those things, this is what I'm going to do in community. All of those things were about to die with me. And that was hard. That was really hard. But then, you know, they got me down to the ground and all I could think was just protect your skull and protect your organs. Right? If they punch and they could punch other things and break bones. But as long as I protect my skull and organs, you know, it would give me the best chance to get out if they're alive.

So that's what I did. And then they call for backup. Backup uniform officers now come. Marked cruisers come. They throw me in the back of a cruiser. Then one of the uniformed officers takes my wallet. And then my wallet was my player's card, my CFL, Player's Association card, as well as an actual playing card. And he looks at it and he says, is this you?

And I said, yeah. And he looks at it and he said, the picture on here, this person is you. So I said, yeah. And he says, oh, shit. Right? So I'm thinking, okay, he realizes that they messed up. Maybe he realizes that I'm their spokesperson. Maybe he realizes that I'm the keynote at the going to do what he can to fix it. So the next thing I know, I'm being taken to jail. So I'm taken to jail.

I don't know what's going on. I'm asking for my phone call and they're like, no, no, don't worry about it. So I'm like, no, I need to make my phone call. I was going to call the chief. That was going to be the first call I made. And I was going to ask him to call the mayor and a couple other folks just to let them know what's happening. But they wouldn't let me call anyone. So they're holding me in the jail cell.

And then I see folks are being, so time passes, right? Two guys come to the cell. They look at me and they're like, man, you don't look well. My face is beaten and bloodied. And they said, you know what? Your blood got on a couple of our guys, man. You have any diseases that we should test our guys for? I'm looking at them like, are you serious?

That's what you're going to ask? If I have diseases that you need to test your guys for because my blood got on them? And I said, no. And they said, okay, thanks. And they walked off. So hours pass and they keep denying me my phone call. But then I hear them releasing some other folks. So I'm thinking maybe they're going to release me too.

So I asked, when do I get to go home? And that's when the officer was like, you're not going home. You have a bail hearing. Don't you know what you've been charged with? And I'm like, charged? And he's like, yeah, you're assaulting a police officer in possession of a controlled substance. And I was in absolute disbelief.

I'm like, what are you talking about? And he looked at me and he said, you know what you look like, man? You look like a piece of shit, you effing a-hole. And then he walked off. Excuse my language. And it was real. The charges were for real. Everything shifted. So they end up handcuffing me to take me to court the next morning, handcuffing the three other guys.

Yeah, to be in that space, I ended up, you know, I was concussed. I couldn't return to football. But the bigger challenge was the reason I had gone back to Canada was to serve. And now all the organizations that I was serving with, schools that I was working in, called and said, listen, we wish you all the best, man, but don't ever come back here because we can't have someone like you doing this, talking to people around here. So good luck. So it was lonely. You know, it was the most challenging time. We were, you know, new family. My wife was lonely. It was the most challenging time. We were a new family. My wife was pregnant, and there's some hormonal shifts that happen with that in and of itself. And we add this to the equation, and it was just, I honestly thought she was going gonna lose the baby i was like there's no way we're gonna make it through the stress levels are too high there's just so much uncertainty uncertainty um you know i could end up in prison you know can't go see my family can't cross the border like all these things are playing and i'm just like this is you know i can't i just can't believe it and you're also recovering from a concussion from a concussion yeah which that pretty, I mean, and just on the purely physical side of things.

Yeah. Beyond all the horrendous circumstances that are going on around you. Yeah. So it was a journey. One of my outlets was being physically active. But for a good amount of time, I couldn't because of the concussion symptoms. I would go to the gym and try to run and I would just start to, you know, throw up any move, like any sudden movements. It was, it was very difficult. So make a long story short, you know, we're in the courtroom and, and, um, having to listen to

the officers, you know, as they say, they're just like making I'm making things up, really. And, you know, saying one officer, I remember him looking at me and then looking at a judge and saying, Your Honor, he's 6'2", 235, and he's actually trained to hurt people. I've never been so afraid in my entire career for my own life. And I'm thinking, how could you say that? And in that moment, I thought, what kind of pain must he have been through to allow him the capacity to do that to someone else? And in that moment, I started to pray for him because I saw, I felt really sorry for what he must have experienced to allow him to do that to someone else. So I started praying for him to get the healing that he needs and for the truth to come out. And then as we got closer to the verdict, you know, I got a call

from one of the reporters that was on the case and informed me that the arresting officer in my case was himself arrested by the national police, the RCMP, the equivalent of the FBI. The officer was arrested for trafficking cocaine. They found 17 kilos of cocaine at his house. So yeah. So it was, and he said, you know, the Crown attorney or the DA, they're probably going to be calling you soon. And sure enough, I get off the phone, the reporter, the DA calls and says, hey, Orlando, buddy, you do such amazing work in the community. Now, she didn't know that I knew about the charges because nothing had been in the media. And she says, everybody knows about the amazing work that you do. And we don't think this court stuff is fair. Sometimes it gets a little

messy. So why don't you just let us drop the charges and everyone could just go home and be happy? So I said, like, make a deal. And she said, yeah. And I said, no, absolutely not. I said, I'd rather be wrongfully convicted versus striking a deal on that premise. And she was like, fine, this was your chance, buddy. You're going down. And she hung up the phone. The next call we got was to go to court as they were going to now ask the judge to let them drop the charge.

So we show up at court. They ask the judge. The judge says no and says further to that, I prepare my judgment for today. I find Mr. Bowen innocent. These are the reasons why. So I was acquitted on that day. And then we filed a civil lawsuit that settled out of court years later. So all in all, it took about five and a half years from the assault to, you know, well, legal closure.

Right. So what, I mean, how are you during that window of time, how taking care of yourself? I mean, because it seems like so many people have turned their back on you. Yeah. You know, it was interesting because we had a number of people come to us and say, it must be so hard, man. All your friends are leaving you. And I said, actually, it's been a real blessing because none of our friends have left us. Every friend that we have knows who we are and what we stand for. They haven't gone anywhere. Anyone that was here that's no longer here, they either didn't know who we were or they never, you know, they just don't understand what we're about. So it was almost like a cleansing, right?

The folks who are around us, we knew, understood who we were and what we stood for. So, and there were times, you know, I mean, many times you go through challenges and, and, you know, through crazy, difficult life situations, and we, we smile and we say, I'm fine. When someone asks you, how you doing? And you're going through it and you're like, ah, you know, you have many good reasons not to let them know. Right. And it was no different for us as we were going through it. We didn't want to inflict pain on, on others, especially people we cared about. So we just kind of kept it, you know, some of the time, anyway, just kept it in and said, you know, we're going to be all right. You know, and we didn't get into it because we didn't have any closure to share with anyone. So the times that we did

share with people, they would start crying. So imagine these, you know, I've got teammates that are, that range in size. I'm a medium and then they'd be like, it's not fair. You know, and some of them would start crying and I'm just like, yeah, I remember one of my teammates was kind of, you know, he has a lot of energy. He's a defensive guy. And he came and he asked how things were going when I shared. I saw him looking around like he was going to throw something. And I was like, I don't want to put people through that emotional experience. So I'm just going to say I'm good. And maybe a few people we'll share with until we get some closure. But the reality was I realized early that it wasn't even about me, which is interesting that the morning after the assault, when I was at the hospital and the nurse came and said, what happened to you?

And I looked at my wife and I'm like, she's not going to. I said to my wife, the nurse isn't going to believe me. So I just turned to the nurse and I said, I got jumped. And the nurse says, oh, by who? The police? and I was highly offended by that question, right? Because we're working so hard to build community relations and that's everybody in the community, right? I don't need people to say,

oh, between police and community. No, just community because the police are part of the community, right? We're all in this thing together, right? The moment we draw the line in the sand, we all lose. So we're working so hard to build community. And then this is the response. So I said, why would you say that?

And she said, because I see it more often than I'd like to. But usually it's teenagers or people who don't speak English well. So you don't really fit the bill. And when she said that, I realized she actually named a couple of populations that I was working with at the time. And in that moment, I realized this wasn't about me. It was about getting through it so that we could give hope to others who feel like they have no reason to have hope in whatever situation they were facing. So, you know, that was definitely a shift in perspective for me in terms of we have to get through this. This is way bigger than us. So even when I was sitting in the courtroom and the officers came in and they were testifying

and looking at me with angry eyes, I was thinking, man, I'm not even upset with you because what's happening here pales in comparison to what's happening on a larger scale out there when people give up hope, give up on their relationships, give up on their jobs, give up on life, right? So we have a responsibility and we have to get through this. Yeah. The Apple Watch Series 10 is here. It has the biggest display ever. It's also the thinnest Apple Watch ever,

making it even more comfortable on your wrist, whether you're running, swimming, or sleeping. And it's the fastest-charging Apple Watch, getting you 8 hours of charge in just 15 minutes. The Apple Watch Series X. Available for the first time in glossy jet black aluminum. Compared to previous generations, iPhone XS or later required. Charge time and actual results will vary. Mayday, mayday. We've been compromised.

The pilot's a hitman. I knew you were going to be fun. January 24th. Tell me how to fly this thing. Mark Wahlberg. You know what the difference between me and you is? You're going to die.

Don't shoot him, we need him. Y'all need a pilot? Flight risk. That really unusual lens also kind of helps explain something you did a chunk of years later so you you eventually emerge from this really tough window and start to rebuild your career and you're out there actually doing a lot of speaking and and motivating a lot of people and inspiring people and still building community and being of service as you also rebuild your

reputation in the community so that people will even invite you into rooms, right? And that's a long process for you. And then just a couple of years ago, I guess, what was it, 2014-ish or something like that, you wrote a public letter to the cops who started this whole thing, which I think a lot of people probably still to this day have trouble wrapping their head around. So I wrote a letter and it's one to this day have trouble wrapping their head around. So I wrote a letter, and one of the interesting things is that I wrote a letter about a year and a half after the assault. Oh, no kidding.

And when I took it home, I don't know if you're an artist, right? So you have an appreciation for the arts. So I wrote this letter. It was actually at a business conference where they were talking about taking your business to the next level. And they're like, what do you need to let go of so you could actually get to the next level? Like, who do you need to forgive? And I'm like, forgive? This was while the case was happening.

But I'm in a business mindset. Like, I forgot a way to, you know, make some money for my family. You know, I was doing some personal training for athletes. I was, you know, doing some work in a multi-level marketing company. So I'm just, I'm focused. Like I have to be focused. And they're talking about who you need to forgive. And I'm like, forgive? I don't have anybody to forgive, man. And the ladies beside me was like, you know what? I haven't spoken to my brother in eight years because of something he said at my wedding. And I'm like, man, that's deep. That's your brother. And I'm like, I don't have anything like that. And then I thought, however, I can't speak in the courtroom. And I feel like there's a disconnect between what the officers think I'm feeling versus what I'm actually feeling. Because when they're looking at me,

they're looking at me with these angry eyes, like they want to be more mad at me than I am at them, but I'm not mad at them. So I said, you know what, I'm just going to write a paragraph in terms of what I would say to them if I could actually talk in court. And as I started to write, my hands couldn't keep up with the thoughts that were flowing, and then the tears started flowing, and I just was writing and writing. You know, when I was finished, it felt like this burden had just been lifted. Like, like literally a burden, like I was wearing a backpack and someone just said, I got you and took it off. So when I, you know, I went home and I shared a letter with my wife and she was like, you wrote that? And I said, yeah. And she said, I would write a letter too, but it wouldn't sound anything like that one. And I thought, man,

well, if she doesn't get it, I'm just going to put this away. So I put it away, put it in a box, put it away. Then we hired a new staff member. She's from the South Bronx and she came in and very passionate about empowering people and working with with young women i'll share my story with her and she's like that's crazy like that's and then i said i actually i wrote this letter and so i go into my office and i take the box out and i take take out the letter and i started reading it to her this is years later yeah yeah yeah and she's crying and she's like, have you shared that with people? And I said, I shared it with Sky, but like, I don't know if people like really get it. And she's like, man, do you understand how that could help people heal?

I'm like, no, actually. And she's like, you need to share it. So I started sharing it as part of my presentations. So, and then folks would say, can I have it? And I'd say, no, you can't. But one day I will release it. So I ended up releasing it on the 10-year anniversary of the assault. I released it to the public, to the media.

And then that's how it kind of got out there. Yeah. I'd never realized that that was actually something you'd written years before as a way to lift something or to get something out that you weren't able to actually, legally, you weren't able to say directly to these two individuals. Yeah. And I just felt like if my wife doesn't understand where I'm coming from and she's in it with me, who is going to understand? And I don't want people to look at me funny so let me just put it in a box and put it away yeah i remember when i read it and i was like wow this is really it's powerful um it's hard but it does it plants the seed of is it published somewhere or is it printed somewhere i can link yes yeah it's printed in the uh toronto star i could i'll have to send you we'll drop a link to the show notes so you guys can actually

see that letter because i think it's really, I think it's powerful and it can be an interesting catalyst to maybe hard conversations and maybe inciting the beginnings of a process of conversation and forgiveness, which it seems like so much of what you're about now. So as we sit here today,

you completely rebuilt your life, but in a very different way. You run an organization, your own foundation, where you're out there in the world speaking all over the place, running programs to everyone from kids, you know, like in schools to giant corporations around the world. of your work just circles way back to that core set of values that we started the conversation with when you were a kid, you know, about the importance of service and community and raising the floor, right? Not just the bar. Yeah, I feel like the things that happen to us, they shouldn't have any bearing on what's possible for us.

They give insights, right? If we stop and reflect, we can gain tremendous insights. bearing on what's possible for us. They give insights, right? If we stop and reflect, we can gain tremendous insights and then ask questions. But when you have a focus, so to say like, the end goal is for us to come together, right? No matter what, right? The end goal, Jonathan, is for us to like come together

and be our best. Then everything that happens, if you filter it through that lens, then you allow it to lend itself to the end goal. Sometimes you have to really search hard to see how does this connect to the end goal? I understand, and I don't think I've ever really spoken this out loud, but there was a part of me that died on the night of my assault. I think it was the part of me that felt like I had to do something in life that was for me. Because I was just like, the fact that I'm still alive, I know that my life has purpose. And my purpose is to help other people realize that their lives have purpose. And in light of what they've been through, as a matter of fact, some of the things that we experience uniquely positions us to give hope and light to others who are experiencing whatever challenges or life experiences. So, you know, I'm like, I'm clear on why I'm here.

And now I just, I gotta, we gotta go, man. Like we have to, we gotta go relate. Yeah. This feels like a good place for us to come full circle as well. So if I offer up the phrase to live a good life, what comes up? To live a life of service where you pour into others an understanding that they matter, that they belong, and that their life has purpose. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you so much for listening.

And thanks also to our fantastic sponsors who help make this show possible. You can check them out in the links we have included in today's show notes. And while you're at it, if you've ever asked yourself, what should I do with my life? We have created a really cool online assessment that will help you discover the source code for the work that you're here to do. You can find it at sparkotype.com. That's S-P-A-R-K-E-T-Y-P-E.com. Or just click the link in the show notes. And of course, if you haven't already done so, be sure to click on the subscribe button in your listening app so you never miss an episode. And then share, share the love. If there's something that you've heard in this episode

that you would love to turn into a conversation, share it with people and have that conversation. Because when ideas become conversations that lead to action, that's when real change takes hold. See you next time. It has the biggest display ever. It's also the thinnest Apple Watch ever, making it even more comfortable on your wrist, whether you're running, swimming, or sleeping. And it's the fastest-charging Apple Watch,

getting you 8 hours of charge in just 15 minutes. The Apple Watch Series X. Available for the first time in glossy jet black aluminum. Compared to previous generations, iPhone XS or later required, charge time and actual results will vary.