Good Life Project - Introvert Entrepreneurs: A Quieter Approach to Building Business

Episode Date: December 1, 2016

Can you start and build a business if you’re an introvert? This was a question from our someone in our listening community. Truth told, it’s a question we get on a pretty regular basis. There is a lot of mythology about how social, forward-facing and mass-scale public you need to be in order to be […]The post Introvert Entrepreneurs: A Quieter Approach to Building Business appeared first on Good LifeProject. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Hey there, it's Jonathan. I just wanted to say something really quickly here before we dive into today's riff. This is the last day of listening to this on Thursday, December 1st, 2017. You may know that my publisher has actually had my brand spanking new book, How to Live a Good Life. The ebook version of it has been on sale for 99 cents for a little bit now. And after today, that goes away. I don't know if it'll ever come back and the price goes up to full retail. They have let me know that they will be returning it to full retail. So last chance, if you want to pick up the ebook version of it at 99 cents, go grab it today before it reverts to full retail price. How to Live a Good Life, it's available pretty much all over Amazon, Kindle, Nook,

iBooks. You can grab the ebook today wherever you want, and we'll throw a link in the show notes. Now on to today's episode. Hey there, it's Jonathan bringing you a Good Life Project riff. So coming out of a frenetic family and activity filled time of year for so many of us filled with people, lots and lots and lots of people. Just kind of fun. Today's riff is actually thoughts on a question that came in from one of our awesome listeners. And I love doing this. I love being able to actually answer questions. So if you have questions, or if you have a question that you would love me to talk about or to answer on an upcoming riff, please do not hesitate to send it over to us. Just email support at goodlifeproject.com and that will get to me. And if it looks like something that would help a lot of people,

I'm always happy to dive in and share my thoughts on a riff. So this week, coming out of a week filled with people, I had an interesting question. And the question is, I'm playing with the thought, if I could become an entrepreneur, but I imagine I'd have to use a lot of energy getting clients, serving customers, and how that might drain me. And this is from somebody who says, I'm an introvert. Would love to hear your thoughts on being an introvert entrepreneur. And this is somebody who's really kind of curious. Is that possible? Is it a good thing? Is it a bad thing? Would it destroy me? There are so many myths about both introverts and extroverts, and there are so many myths about entrepreneurship.

So I thought it might be fun to kind of share my experience because I am, in fact, an an introvert or I am wired. My social orientation is definitely more toward the introverted side of the social spectrum. And at the same time, if you've been listening for any window of time, you know I am not only an entrepreneur, with the exception of a small bizarre aberration where I spent a chunk of years practicing law, I had been pretty much a lifelong entrepreneur. I was the first company we actually sold and have been pretty much building stuff from the beginning. Yet at the same time, my wiring is very much as an entrepreneur. So is it possible?

Yes. Let's talk about a couple of things, though. One, what exactly is introvert, extrovert? And there's another phrase in here, ambivert, because there's a lot of misunderstanding and mythology around these things. So let's talk about those three first. So many of us have heard the term extrovert and think to ourselves, well, that's somebody who's just a social butterfly. They're amazing at conversation and relationships, and they know a zillion people, and they walk into into a room and it's like the room lights up around them. And in fact, that can be the experience, but that's actually not really

what extroverted means. It's more about looking at whether you get filled up or emptied out by being around larger numbers of people, by working a room with a lot of people. So as a general rule, somebody who's more extroverted, when they're around large numbers of people, that fills them up, they become energized. You know, so if you walk into a room and there are 150 people and you just, this is like you're salivating

because this is like somebody is just taking, you know, an energy thing and just sort of like, you know, dropping it into you and pumping you full of energy. And all you want to do is walk around the room and work the room and have more and more and more conversations and be all over the place. This is the thing that fills you with energy. If you're more on the introverted side of the spectrum, you open the door to that room and you look at the vast sea of humanity and you immediately start looking for a corner of the room to run to

and a drink to have in your hand so that you can be comfortable because you know that to then actually engage with so many people, it's going to leave you completely empty. So instead of energizing you, it takes energy out of you. And then there's this sort of scale. There's a full spectrum that goes from introverted all the way over to extroverted. And somewhere in the middle, there's this thing which has kind of become known as ambiversant, which means you're kind of a blend of both. My wiring is much more towards the introverted end of the spectrum. So I am somebody who does not walk into a giant room of people and feel amazing, I actually, I'm not generally super excited about that. And it can change over time. And I found ways to be way more comfortable about

that. And I'll tell you about some in a minute. But for the most part, I know about myself that it's just my social orientation, that I actually like being around people and having conversations. But when I am around them, I'm left empty pretty quickly. And I need to be away from people to refill my tank. So here's the thing. I've had so many conversations with entrepreneurs or aspiring entrepreneurs, people who are thinking about starting something, many who are leaving organizations, and they're thinking, well, do I have what it takes to be an entrepreneur? And one of the questions that pops into their head, not infrequently actually, is, well, I'm kind of on the introverted side of the spectrum.

Does that mean that it kind of kills my ability to be an entrepreneur? Because, you know, as I offered in the question earlier, you know, I've got to be out there constantly talking to large numbers of people. You know, it's a numbers game. I've got to work clients and meetings and cocktail parties and trade events and all sorts of stuff like this. And that stuff absolutely drains me. It leaves me empty. And the short answer is you can do that. And if your wiring is such that it fills you up and it allows you to be your best self, then rock on and do that. But you don't have to be that person to be very successful in the world of business and in the quest to create a business or a foundation or practice or whatever it may be. In fact, to succeed, you don't need to be super forward-facing,

raging extrovert, and constantly around people. Many of the greatest entrepreneurs of our times, people who have built huge companies, have actually been quite introverted. And many people who just build a really flourishing and thriving private practice or a smaller organization are also of that wiring. It's not so much about being forward-facing to large numbers of people. That's not what actually makes for success in the world of entrepreneurship. It's about being open to engaging with the right people, those who would want to work with you and

those who you want to be of service to, in the right way, meaning really honoring them and being present in the conversations with them, and for the right reason, so that you can co-create trust and mutual benefit. That does not require you to be an extrovert or a raging extrovert. In fact, these conversations and the type of interaction that leads to these experiences very often happens in a smaller, more intimate setting where deeper conversations unfold. In these formats, introverts are often more observant. They're more comfortable in the first place because they don't need to be surrounded by an audience to be comfortable. They're very comfortable in a more intimate, more focused, more present conversation. So they're not constantly looking over your shoulder to see who else they can bring into

the conversation to fill them up. They're quite content just sitting there with you and giving you everything they have. Very often they're also more observant. They'll ask questions that are genuinely thoughtful and meaningful and really sit and listen to and consider your answers. Because again, their attention is focused only on you because there's no energy-based need to have to go beyond you at that moment in time. They're getting full by the depth and intimacy of the conversation they're having with you. And that actually allows them to gather information more easily, to be more observant, to pay attention. They'll often create a sense of calm that engenders

trust and very often a truer unfolding and more access to vulnerability and the revelation of true need that they can potentially solve. When it comes to sales, this can be incredibly beneficial because instead of, again, sort of like running a numbers game and running a big script and constantly looking for who else can be brought into the conversation, they're really focused and really hear and see more and can have a truer conversation about whether they can really be a benefit. And that's incredibly rare these days and really appreciated by people. So that's my MO. I've always been the person where, you know, I don't work large rooms. I'm not constantly looking over everybody else's shoulders to see who else can be brought into the conversation. I'm much more comfortable just having a quiet conversation with one or two people or a small group where we can actually feel a sense of ease, feel a sense of trust and go deeper. And that has served me incredibly well as an entrepreneur. You can do very well as an extrovert. You know, you can work bigger rooms and build really big, powerful energy, but it's not necessary. In fact,

it can be incredibly powerful to come at things the opposite way, even if you are an extrovert. There are some pretty big famous examples of hyper successful people who are more on the introverted side of the spectrum. Richard Branson, believe it or not, is one of those people. He tends to be on the much quieter, more introverted side of the spectrum. A couple of years ago, I actually had the opportunity to sit down with Richard Branson's mom, Eve Branson, and record a conversation with her. If you go back into our video archives, you can actually watch it. I believe she was 90 or 91 at the time. And so much of Richard comes from her. She is an absolute explorer and adventurer and full of energy. And it was interesting. Eve Branson

described Richard when he was a younger person as being almost painfully shy, really introverted. And socially, she actually at the time didn't really feel that that was appropriate. She felt like, you know, part of your job when you are around people is to make them feel comfortable. So, you know, she tried to do what she could to create more of an extroverted orientation in him. But to this day, he still strikes me as being somebody who is very much still more on the introverted side of the spectrum, even though he's built a series of very substantial organizations with thousands and thousands of employees and is very much in the public eye. He does it in a way that honors his own social wiring. And there are many other examples of very accomplished entrepreneurs

with that similar wiring. If I think about my own history as an entrepreneur, I've built a series of companies and very often around community, I call them businesses of belonging, where hundreds, sometimes thousands of people are participants in those organizations. And still, I tend to, even when I'm leading a company like that, intentionally built teams around me with a blend of social orientation so that I know, you know, I have a group of raging extroverts who love to be around people who are filled up by larger numbers of people. And part of their role is to help cultivate the social dynamic in the larger community

so that we kind of, you know, we look to bring people onto our team. In part, we look at their social wiring to see that as we build whatever it is that we're looking to build, that we actually have people who are filled up and not emptied out by the demands, the social demands of whatever it is that we're trying to start. So it's a really interesting thing to think about as a team builder. It's funny too, I think about my time in college, you know, I remember I said that I started a mobile disc jockey company where I was one of the DJs, I was one of the guys who was out at clubs DJing until, you know, like two, three in the morning on the weekends. And we had, you know, a series of other people and giant stacks of equipment. And what's interesting to me when I reflect back

on that is that I was pretty regularly deeply immersed in huge crowds of people moving and swaying to music, loud, boisterous, dancing, drinking, and partying until the early hours of the morning. And yet, as much as I was a part of that, if you think about what my actual job was during that, I was kind of the DJ behind the table with headphones on. I was in my own world. So I was of this group, I was of the community, but I was not an immediate part of it to a certain extent and creating the experience that largely controlled the social dynamic of the entire community for a fixed window of time. So it's kind of telling that that has continued to be to a certain extent how I build companies and communities to this day. I look at one of the things that I'm doing right now. As you guys are listening to this, literally just a couple of days ago, we launched something, we announced something called the 108, which is a conscious business collective. And that

will grow into a fairly intimate collective of 108, what I call conscious business founders. And my role will be rather than to serve 1000s and and thousands of people, to become deeply devoted to this relatively small group of people and to build community and really get to know them and support them in a way that would both be incredibly emptying to me on a much larger scale and also just not of service to them. So, you know, I've made a commitment to honor my social wiring to say, with this particular endeavor, with the 108, you know, my commitment is to deeply serve a smaller number of people so that they can turn around and have 108 beacons of light that are making a social impact in the world with the businesses that they're building on a vastly larger scale, on an exponential scale. So as an introvert entrepreneur, I get to actually structure the way that I build something and the way that I serve so I can very intentionally serve a smaller number of people, be okay that I'll end up still full, and know that many of those people will then turn around and I'll be the ripple in the pond that allows them to sort of expand that ripple out and make a vastly larger and exponentially

larger impact by helping them grow what they're here to grow. And then those things will make a much bigger difference in so many other people's lives. So coming full circle, can you be an introvert entrepreneur? Absolutely. In fact, I think many more are than you would imagine. And when you really tap into that sensitivity and sensibility of the introverted social orientation, it can be an incredibly powerful way to move into building anything. So I hope you found that helpful. As always, I love sharing stories, sharing whatever wisdom you might find valuable. And I love answering questions. So if you do have a question

that you would love to get my thoughts on, please don't hesitate to send it in to us. Just shoot your email to support at goodlifeproject.com and we'll see what we can do with it. Wishing you a wonderful, wonderful rest of the week. And I can't wait to be back with you next week. I'm Jonathan Fields, signing off for Good Life Project.