Good Life Project - JoAnna Garcia Swisher | How to Stay True to Yourself, While Going for a Dream

Episode Date: August 1, 2022

How do you balance both the weight and the sense of possibility of pursuing a massive dream? Especially when you feel you’re representing generations and building a life and living in a very public way, from your earliest years?We all know the story of the American Dream goes: move to America in pursuit of a better life. One with more resources, access, and opportunities, not just for yourself, but your kids, who so often hold in their hands the dreams and expectations and sacrifices of those who came before them and made it possible for them to be where they are today. It can be quite the burden. On the other hand, there’s the dream side of the equation. The example of making hard choices and taking action in the belief that amazing things are possible. My guest today, acclaimed actor, JoAnna Garcia Swisher, learned this from her dad.In our eye-opening conversation today about the complexities of navigating Hollywood as a young child and woman, how the values instilled by her father molded her and the boundaries that sustain her career, and more, JoAnna and I explore the shifting nature of how stories are told in media and their ability to help us relate to one another, feel joy or even grieve. So join us, as she and I dive deeper into her background and then bring it back to the big picture, which is the powerful nature of dreams, joy, and storytelling. You can find JoAnna at: Website | The Happy Place Instagram | JoAnna's InstagramIf you LOVED this episode you’ll also love the conversations we had with Marin Hinkle about navigating life in the public eye.Check out our offerings & partners: My New Book SparkedMy New Podcast SPARKEDVisit Our Sponsor Page For a Complete List of Vanity URLs & Discount Codes. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

So how do you balance both the weight and the sense of possibility of pursuing a massive dream, especially when you feel like you're representing generations and building a life and a living in a very public way from your earliest years? So we all know the story of the American dream, move to America and pursue a better life, one with more resources and access and opportunity, not just for yourself, but for your kids who so often hold in their hands, the dreams and expectations and sacrifices of those who came before them and made it possible for them to be where they are today. And it can be quite the burden. On the other hand, there's the dream side of the equation.

The example of making hard choices and taking action in the belief that amazing things are possible. And my guest today, acclaimed actor Joanna Garcia Swisher, learned this from her dad. So born to a Cuban father and American mom, she started her acting career at the age of 10, playing the starring role on Nickelodeon's hit show, Are You Afraid of the Dark? In her career, it truly began to take off after she moved to LA to pursue acting as a career, playing Hallie on Party of Five, Brie in Gossip Girl, Vicky on Freaks and Geeks, and countless others. And more recently,

Joanna plays Maddie in the Netflix hit, Sweet Magnolias. And she's done what so many aspire to, building a great career in a brutally hard business, following the dream, but also never abandoning her roots. Joanna keeps returning to the importance of family and community and service, as well as her emerging love of design with the launch of The Happy Place, a destination that explores and motivates and empowers the experience of living a life with intention and how that reflects your interiors. And she, alongside her husband, spearheads the Swisher Family Foundation, a nonprofit with a mission to provide kids in need with medical care, education, and recreation.

In our conversation today, we dive into the complexities of navigating Hollywood as a young child and a woman, how the values instilled by her dad really molded her and the boundaries that sustain her, and how Joanna explores the shifting nature of the stories that are told in media and their ability to help us relate to one another to feel joy or even grieve, sometimes in a very public way, as she's had to do. So join us as she and I dive into her background and then bring it back to the big picture, which is the powerful nature of dreams, joy, and storytelling. So excited to share this conversation with you. I'm Jonathan

Fields, and this is Good Life Project. The Apple Watch Series 10 is here. It has the biggest display ever. It's also the thinnest Apple Watch ever, making it even more comfortable on your wrist, whether you're running, swimming, or sleeping. And it's the fastest-charging Apple Watch, getting you eight hours of charge in just 15 minutes.

The Apple Watch Series X. Available for the first time in glossy jet black aluminum. Compared to previous generations, iPhone XS or later required, charge time and actual results will vary. Mayday, mayday. We've been compromised. The pilot's a hitman.

I knew you were going to be fun. January 24th. Tell me how to fly this thing. Mark Wahlberg. You know what the difference between me and you is? You're going to die. Don't shoot him, we need him. Y'all need a pilot.

Flight risk. So back in Tampa or somewhere else? We are back in Tampa. Yeah. It's been obviously for everyone a really wild couple of years, but I lost my dad right before COVID hit and my mom had dementia. And so I wanted to be back closer to home, not really knowing what this whole quarantine and all this would look like. And we had a house here since my husband and I were married and we settled back in and we just decided to stay. So it was really, my mom ended up passing away about a year later. So it's home. It feels good. I'm still really close with my family here and our friends that I've known forever and my in-laws are here. So it just felt like the right time to be here. Yeah. I think so many people, it's been a moment of

just reckoning. I mean, clearly with the loss of both your parents for you, there are levels that go into that decision. But I think just the last few years, so many people, whether it's losing someone that they know, someone in their family, or just losing their model of what the world is and what they believed it was, there's grief on so many different levels.

And it's been interesting to see how people process that. Some people have picked up and moved away and said, I need to be somewhere entirely differently. I'm actually raising my hand as a lifelong New Yorker. We're in Boulder, Colorado right now. Oh my gosh. Yeah. And some people have gone back home. So it's sort of like this really interesting shift that you see across the board. Yeah. It was like, it was an awakening in many ways, good and bad. But I think really it was just a bell that was rung and kind of, you can't, it definitely refocused people.

And so it changed people, almost everyone I know on a really drastic level. Yeah. Tell me about your dad. I know you were very close to him. He was, I guess, first generation. He was immigrated from Cuba. Yeah. He came over when he was 13. And it's funny, I was just with my aunt. we have a really small family. And so my aunt is still with us and I adore her. She was with us on Easter. And I said, would you go back to Cuba with me? And she said, no. I said, okay. Um, my dad, it was a, it was a very big jolt. Obviously, um, they came over right, right before things got really bad and made a life for themselves here. My dad became a physician.

He was a baseball player. He was the first scholarship athlete at the University of South Florida. Oh, no kidding. And yeah, I think his dad said something like, you know, you need a real job. So he was in athlete grades, not to generalize, but, um, but generalizing a little bit. And, um, so the journey to become a doctor was not paved as easily as my, not that it was paved easily for my brother, but my brother had really good grades the whole time. Um, so my dad had to, he went to Mexico and then, um, ended up in Philadelphia, newly

married with my mom with barely any money. Um, he was, you know, doing his residency at temple and my mom was teaching. And, um, then they moved back to Florida and started a life here in Tampa. My dad started a practice and he's, he delivered. I don't even know how many of my friends, even my friends, some of my friends, kids that started having babies like really early, he actually, my dad delivered, he caught my daughter, my first daughter. And then was standing side by side as I gave birth to my second. So my dad was everything to everyone and a wonderful man. So he, uh, he is deeply grieved, seriously missed, not just for people that knew him well, but people that, you know, in passing or just as a doctor, he was, I couldn't be more

proud to be his daughter and my mom too. Yeah. When he came down, I'm assuming that, uh, there was probably a lot of family that wasn't able to come with them too. So do you still have a lot of family in Cuba that. No, not really. I mean, I'm sure we have, you know, some distant relatives or something like that, but no, our, our whole family made it over. Yeah. Eventually they kind of came in stages, but yeah, they all came here. And with the exception of my dad really kind of started living in Pompano, Fort Lauderdale, Boca, that area, South Florida. And yeah, they're all,

they're all here. Yeah. I mean, what an experience to know that, you know, like you're, that you're very close with your dad, that he literally delivered some of your friends and then coming full cycle, you know, like, you know, when it comes to your kids, he either delivered or was in the room right there when it was happening. I mean, to have him so deeply a part of that life cycle. Oh yeah. Got to be so powerful. Yeah. It was incredible. I mean, when I went to the hospital for our first, it was really funny. I was, so I, my husband was about to go on a road trip. And so everyone, my, my in-laws and my parents both had flown to Cleveland just, just in case I was really close. I think they were in Boston. So it wasn't really far, but, um, I went to the doctor to get checked and it was a day game. And, um, so Nick was gone and I went and, uh, I went to the doctor to get checked. And then

I, I think she put me into labor. Like, I don't know what it was, I think, but I just started feeling like a little off and, you know, of course everybody's eating, drinking. It's, you know, a nice afternoon at the house. I'm sitting there and I'm like, I don't know, something doesn't feel so great. So it was evening time. I took a shower and all of a sudden my water broke and I'm like, I don't know, something doesn't feel so great. So it was evening time. I took a shower and all of a sudden my water broke and I had told my dad, so I had a doula and I told my dad, I said, and my dad was super big in, you know, having a birth plan. My dad revered women. He just thought they were the most elite, like level of humanity on this like earth. And he was like, you know, we talked a lot about giving birth and my birth plan and all this stuff. You like have a plan, but really trust your doctor because a lot can happen. And when you get so deeply committed to a plan, you know, sometimes

you're not making great decisions, right? So like be, be flexible, but have a plan. And so my plan was, I was like, maybe I'll just like labor a little bit at home. It'll be nice. I obviously have the most trusted doctor in my house. So I wasn't too worried about that. He was like, absolutely. Whatever you say goes, whatever you need, everybody would knew, right? This was my plan. So I get out of the shower. It's about nine o'clock and all of a sudden my water broke, but it wasn't like a flood. It was like a little drop. And I was like, that doesn't look normal. So I, I went and I got my dad out of bed and I said, Hey, I need you to look at what's on our hardwood floor. And he was very Cuban man. He got pale as a ghost. He he's like, you're a labor.

I was like, okay so i thought oh i'll go back and shower like we're gonna follow my plan nick comes into the shower into the bathroom he's like your dad's totally freaking me out i was like what he's he's literally white knuckled he has turned on my husband's car his car and my in-laws car all engines started and white knuckling, just sitting there in the, in the, in the garage. And I run out in my robe and I'm like, what are you doing? And he looked at me with like fear, not fear, but in all seriousness and said, I just really would like you to go to the hospital and be on a monitor. And it was like, okay, so much for my plan. Um, hop in the car. I think they drove probably 200 miles an hour down the freeway to get there. And, um, I had Emmy like 11 or 12 hours later, but when it got

time to push, I said, Nick, go get my dad. And Nick did. And then my doctor was like, doc, suit up. And he was, my dad was like, I haven't done this in forever. And there was not a dry eye in the room. It became like a legendary, you know, situation. They were like, it was the most beautiful thing. My dad caught her, put Emmy on my chest. Nick, my mom has a leg. Nick has a leg. It was so remarkably beautiful.

And she's named after him. Her name's Emerson J Swisher. And then for my second birth experience, it was obviously a hospital. And I didn't, you know, you don't realize, I mean, I was a really humble guy too. I didn't realize, you know, how important he was to so many people at the hospital. And when I walked in, it was like I was with this man that was so respected and loved. And I mean, women were like the nurses were coming up to me and they were like, you know, you have no idea how kind he was and how good he was. And like I was so blown away. And so, I mean, even like they were bring me cafe sitas and like just like all these little like treats after I had the baby because I was Dr. Garcia's daughter. And I just felt like so special and so proud. And he held me while I had to get the spinal. I was so scared because just like needle in your back. I didn't know what that

was like. And I just remember thinking like I'm in my dad's arms, like, I'm so grateful. Yeah. I mean, so powerful and so unusual. I think I have no doubt that some folks listening to this would, would be thinking, do I want my dad in the delivery room? And maybe not saying yes, but the way you describe just the nature of your relationship with him and who he was as a human being, it just, it sounds so organic and natural and just really beautiful. Yeah. I did Conan O'Brien, his show once. I told the story and literally there was like an equal split of like horror and awe in the audience. And Andy Richter looked at me and he's like, that's so cool. And I was like, thanks for getting

it. I was like, I, you know, I didn't even realize it. Cause it's so, I mean, it was nothing about my dad seeing my private part. It was just so beautiful. And I treasure the moment for the rest of my life. Yeah. That sounds so powerful. I know I've heard you say of your father, he was a complete feminist and he raised me to believe my wildest dreams could come true. And I wondered if that was in part because of like his upbringing and where he came from and then what he was able to create with his own life in a sense of possibility that he was trying to sort of transfer into you. Yeah. I mean, I think any immigrant has that deep notion of like there's a dreamer in them, you know, they want better. They want more. They

want safety. They're coming for, you know, a reason. And he was, he was a dreamer. And that was one of my favorite things to do with him. And he was dreaming until the day he died. And even now, still my, my brother and I inherited the business, my dad's practice. He has a weight loss practice here in Florida. And to this day, it's so unbelievable to talk to the people that have been working at the company for a really long time and know him. And my dad had like knew those, their children and was like a father figure to most, all of them. And, um, it's so, it's so amazing to me because we still talk about your dad would love this. Your dad would, he would be so tickled by this. He would

be so excited by this new thing. And you know, his spirit is that of a dreamer. And, you know, he was very practical too. He's a Cuban man. So like, there's a lot of practicality, but I'm very practical as well. I mean, even if I splurge on something, I have to know that there's some level of like practicality to it. There's got to be a deeper meaning to most every, to the point where my husband's like, oh, here we go again. Like, just enjoy. And I'm like, I know, but like, but it's okay because you know, this is like why it's important. He's like, okay. Just like, he's a good balance for me in that way. Yeah. The Apple Watch Series 10 is here. It has the biggest display ever.

It's also the thinnest Apple Watch ever, making it even more comfortable on your wrist, whether you're running, swimming, or sleeping. And it's the fastest-charging Apple Watch, getting you eight hours of charge in just 15 minutes. The Apple Watch Series X. Available for the first time in glossy jet black aluminum. Compared to previous generations

iphone 10s are later required charge time and actual results will vary mayday mayday we've been compromised the pilot's a hitman i knew you were gonna be fun january 24th tell me how to fly this thing mark walberg you know what the difference between me and you is you're gonna die don't shoot if shoot him. We need him. Y'all need a pilot. Flight Risk. So when you're a kid and you're growing up and you've got him sort of like planting certain seeds in you, I know you end up getting exposed to acting pretty young, 9, 10 years old, something like that. And I guess it was more of a local theater type of experience for you. When that bug takes hold in the very early days for you as a young kid, is it just something that's fun? Is it something where you're kind of like,

I just love doing this and there's no sense of this is what I might actually do for the rest of my life or for my profession? Or I'm curious, did that possibility sort of like get planted early on as well? I think the success that I had really early on, you know, it was sort of like, oh, okay. This feels like, you know, I mean, I was a kid actor. Like I was on Nickelodeon. I was, you know, I was working a ton. So I think that that might have led to taking it more seriously as a profession. I don't know that I had fully committed to that, um, until I went away to school about, I was, I went to school for about a year and a half and, and college. And, um, I was like, what am I there?

I love nothing more than this. This is what I love and, uh, what I want to do. But I think that it's funny because I see now as a parent, the concerns my parents had just in that, you know, it's a lot as expected of a young actor walking onto a set. And even I, I find myself getting into that and I'm a mom and I love these children around me, but it's not an easy place to learn how to be a grownup. It's a lot of responsibility and there's an expectation and there's like a time limit. And, you know, inevitably, no matter how patient somebody is, like, you know, if they're not getting it or whatever it may be like you, you must know, you feel that level of like, you know, responsibility and that those are the parts that kind of like, Oh, I don't know if I'd want my kid to do this, but then I think I did it just fine. But I also did it in a really kid friendly environment.

And I think that would probably be the difference. You know, I wasn't a kid really on a show with somebody else. I was, I was on a kid show, but yes, I knew I loved it. And I knew I felt like I was really doing what I was meant to do. It felt very natural to me. It never felt forced or, um, I never really felt like it was a job, but I took it really seriously. Yeah. It's interesting. I mean, as you just described, your parents had concerns. I think a lot of parents have concerns. And I've had this conversation with a number of friends whose kids are sort of rising up in the industry right now. They're doing really well, actually. And on the one hand, the parent is thrilled. The kid has figured out this thing, which gives them a sense of passion and purpose and joy early in life.

And then they also look at the industry and they look at the, quote, statistics. And it's on the one hand, like, you're so thrilled to see this light just, you know, start to really shine brightly. But on the other hand, and you use this word when you describe your dad also, we were talking about dreaming, but also you threw in the word safety. You know, parents want their kids to be safe at the end of the day. And it's got to be this really fascinating tension for you to have been that kid in that circumstance and now to be a parent, sort of like raising young kids and thinking, how do I navigate that balance as well? But I would imagine it led to some interesting conversations with your parents along the way too. Yeah, it did. I mean, I just like, I am so grateful in so many ways that they

threw caution to the wind, I guess, in a way, because that's kind of what they had to do. I mean, that's a big, it's a big deal. My cousin, Mary, I have two first cousins and they are like daughters to my dad and mom. And so my cousin, Mary, one of them moved out to California with me. And I think that helped a lot. So I'm indebted to her forever. And for that, but yeah, I mean, it's just, you know, I, I look back and I feel like so much of this had to do with my mom and dad. I had such a very real sense of how I would want to be treated or what I would accept and what I wouldn't accept. And that might have been a little difficult to parent in that I think I actually got in trouble for going 90 miles an hour in a 60 mile an hour zone.

And I somehow argued that I was in entrapment and my mom and dad let me take it to court. And it was like, they were like, okay, go tell the judge that. And the cop showed up. It was a rough day for me. Um, so there was a level of like boldness to me, but I also knew because I was so loved and so respected in my home as from my parents, I knew what it felt like to be respected by an adult. And I remember even like, I, I won't name the movie, but I was doing a movie and, uh, the director called me fat and I quit. I was like, I'm not, I'm going home. I'm not doing this. And you can't speak to me like that. And this is who I am. And

he ended up having to apologize to me to come back to work. But I remember my manager at the time was like, what the hell are you doing? And I was like, but no one can talk to me like that. That's not okay. That's no way to treat a person. That's no way to talk to a young woman. I don't think I'm fat. You hired me. So let me know when we figure that out. and i look back on that and i'm like who the hell is that crazy ass kid how old were you about when that happened um 21 maybe right so you're still pretty young in the business at that point where i would imagine a lot of the guidance would have been like like just don't make waves yeah yet there was something inside of you that said like i know right from

wrong. And I know like you had a really strong sense of value and worth that said, okay, so like, and there, and it sounds like you were willing to draw a line in the sand, even if it meant like, okay, so this may hurt me professionally, which you didn't know at the time. No, I didn't. I just knew I wouldn't allow it. And one of the actresses who to this day, we're still friends. She was really like, you know, a big deal then too. You know, she was like, she was so cool and, you know, and she stuck up for me and everybody really rallied around me on that. And I, I have no doubt that that has so much to do with the way that I was raised. And obviously I've, you I've learned how to handle

things differently now, maybe not just drive all the way home, but I was pissed and I was like, nah, I'm good. But I think there's gotta be a level of that. And I do think now more than ever, we're saying this is a boundary, it's being crossed. It's not okay. And trying to communicate that because it takes you have to be brave to draw boundaries and in our business you know you're

made to like believe that you take what you get and I hate that and you know there are so many success stories that happens later in life and, and I also think nowadays we're telling stories that are more accurate and, uh, they're celebrating like my show right now. Sweet Magnolia is celebrating, you know, a coming of age, but not the typical doe-eyed 20 something that, you know, has the whole, her whole life ahead of her. You know, it's this new coming of age, like, okay, I've got some mileage on me. I've got some battle wounds. I've got some responsibilities. I've got a lot of life in me. It's, you know, relatable in a really important way. And I think that would be my biggest, it's hard because, you know, at this point in my career, I have that ability to say, these are the kind of stories that I want to tell. But I still think that I was drawn to that

way back when, you know, I wasn't as excited about telling the scandalous salacious stories. I was, you know, on a TV show called Reba with that talked about life and how being in a family is hard and messy and rewarding and all of those things. So I think it sort of has always found me. Yeah. I mean, but it, but it's interesting, right? Because, you know, so if you, if you look at the, it's funny, I was, I was sort of like quickly looking up, trying to find if there was any data on how many people in the entertainment industry, actors, were able to actually sustain themselves through the profession.

And there was a 2019 study that came out of Queen Mary University of London that said 2% of actors are actually able to sustain themselves 90% at any given time are unemployed. And 8% are sort of like somewhere in the middle. You know, so you can understand it's so unlike so many other professions where if you work hard, you show up, you have strong ethic, you study and like, you know, there's a reasonable chance that you're going to be able to like get to a place where you're okay, you can sustain yourself, you have a certain amount of security. Whereas this industry is really so different and so much pressure can be put on to say, do the things that we think you need to do in order to become a quote, working actor, to be able to actually hit that point where you're comfortably working on a regular basis, you can sustain yourself, let alone have the ability to, on a regular basis,

choose, really choose what you want to say yes to and the stories you want to tell. And to resist that, I mean, I just have to imagine your sense of self and sense of values from a young age just had to be so strong, which is interesting because you stood in that. It sounds like you've always stood in that and still ended up becoming part of that 2%, which is such a curiosity to me because so much of the guidance from the outside is to not do that if you want to actually reach that particular level. Yeah. No, it's true. I think that I was really blessed too to have great partners in that. I mean, it's a lot of luck. Everyone says you make your own luck too. I don't, I think it's like angels. There's so much, there's so much, right. But I have,

you know, in terms of the people that have represented me, I think I'm so indebted to them. You know, the fights that they've had on my behalf, the support, that level of belief in me, the outside of my family, you know, it's a big business and it's a, it can be gnarly. And it certainly isn't without disappointment, even to this day, even though now my career is in a much different place, you know, it's also so personal too. And you're not getting the job. It's like, you know, now on the other side of it, when you see the casting process, you see like, there could be someone that's so freaking amazing that walks through that door, but just isn't right for the part. And like, you don't get it. You feel like,

it is hard to not, you know, take it personally, but yeah, I think it's just, I feel grateful. I've also worked with so many producers over and over again. And I just feel like that to me is the greatest gift because being able to work with people more than one time, it just, it feels like you're in it together and you're, you know, you're connected and you're creating things that are in alignment with each other. It's a really, I feel like that's been one of the things that I've recently looked back on and thought, wow, I feel really lucky. But also I think there's a level of like it's meant to be. And it's hard because you're right. The odds are not in your favor in this business, but that can change in an instant. And you have to be committed to the journey and you have to be committed to the experience because going on an audition is just as much a part of an actor's job as it is getting the job even more so. And that's unpaid. So when you're auditioning, you're not, you know,

racking up points to keep your health insurance. So it's just, it's, it's tough business, but massively rewarding. And now in this new landscape of like the world is your oyster in terms of content and creating, and there's something for everyone. It's to me, it's a really, it's uncharted waters a little bit, but exciting time to be in this business. Yeah. I mean, it seems like the nature of the stories. It's interesting because on the one hand, it seems like there are two ends of the spectrum. One is for like major studios with huge budgets who are just looking like, how can I get as close to the model of what's worked in the past and replicate that, but like

slightly differently because we think that will give us the, you know, that'll minimize the risk in the investment. And then the other, it feels like the indie side of the business is exploding. And it seems like the devotion to interesting different stories and characters and character studies and like really getting into the humanity of people. I feel like the barriers to being able to tell those stories and produce them and share them has really gotten a lot lower. And then you see people sort of spanning the middle. I have a friend of mine, Arian Moyad, who's been in a lot of things, but he's also producing these really cool independent projects on his own. And there seems like there's a freedom to be able to do the things you want to do and play

and tell those stories. And it seems like a really interesting moment for the industry, especially for people who are really clear on what they're about and the nature of the stories they want to tell. Absolutely. I feel like I have this conversation on the daily right now because of the other parts of my business that we are cultivating and working really hard to develop and why things grab me and what makes me want to take that job or get that book option finalized or whatever it may be, because I have a very clear idea of the type of stories that I want to tell. And even to the other opportunities, you know, nowadays I had the opportunity to, you know, host an unscripted show for Netflix and which was so fun.

And I learned so much doing, and I didn't even think twice about taking that job. I wasn't worried how that would affect my career as an actress. I just thought these are great people. It's a cool story. I love this idea. Let's go for it. And so there's with all of these opportunities, there comes, you know, exciting new ways to reinvent yourself or do something that's continually interesting. And I feel like it's a really cool time in our business. Yeah.

The Apple Watch Series 10 is here. It has the biggest display ever. It's also the thinnest Apple Watch ever, making it even more comfortable on your wrist, whether you're running, swimming, or sleeping. And it's the fastest charging Apple Watch, getting you're running, swimming, or sleeping. And it's the fastest-charging Apple Watch, getting you eight hours of charge in just 15 minutes. The Apple Watch Series X, available for the first time in glossy jet black aluminum.

Compared to previous generations, iPhone XS or later required, charge time and actual results will vary. Mayday, mayday, we've been compromised. The pilot's a hitman. I knew you were going to be fun. On January 24th. Tell me how to fly this thing. Mark Wahlberg. You know what the difference between me and you is? You're going to die. Don't shoot him. We need him.

Y'all need a pilot? Flight risk. I'm curious. So you've been doing this for a while now, and it sounds like you're also, you know, it sounds like part of your sort of, you know, like your bandwidth is not only devoted to being in front of a screen, but also like what happens behind it? What stories are we choosing? What may be on the production side and the direction? So as you step into that side, I'm really curious, do you feel a sense of almost a responsibility in choosing stories and telling them in a way and choosing people who would play roles that would broaden representation, that would tell a wider range of stories? Yeah, absolutely. I think that it's such a

breath of fresh air for me just as a viewer to turn on a TV and see something that you don't always see all the time. And it's real life. It's representative of real life. And so the fact that we are not just leaning in, but championing these opportunities and thinking of things differently and carving out these opportunities for the most deserving person is just, that's art. And that's to me, the most relatable type of opportunities that we can create. And that I really love being a part of projects that make people feel something. And whether that be, you don't often see yourself in that experience or

someone that looks like you doesn't always get that particular role or whatever it may be, however you relate, however it grabs you in, makes you feel something that is important. And so in terms of, you know, representation and opportunities and looking at things drastically different than the way that they have historically in the past. Like that makes my blood just tingle. It's exciting because that's when you know that you're able to create art to tell these stories that's going to make the viewer, the person that's going to enjoy them, take them in. It's going to make them feel something.

And that to me is the ultimate goal is that we are able to, you know, heal the world with helping people feel less alone, more seen, celebrated. God, like, where do you, it doesn't end. It's important and it should not be a moment. It should be a, it's a hard right into a new way. A lot of people have lost the ability to see the humanity in people who don't look like them or believe like but also see somebody who's profoundly different, has a profoundly different lifestyle, and really connect with that person is representative of somebody in their neighborhood who they normally would never come in contact with and really acknowledge. Well, you know, like, well, like there's me in them and there's them in me. And I feel like we're in a moment where we need that so much and all forms of media and entertainment have this amazing opportunity to participate in that. Yeah, it's so important. And honestly, it's so, it's so amazing to even have conversations with my fellow actors and creatives. And I go back to my show right now because my showrunner,

Cheryl is, she's probably one of the kindest, wildly talented humans I've ever worked with. But she has this incredible ability, no matter who walks onto our set. And her only goal is that every single person that watches our show can see themselves in serenity. So she wants them to be represented on our show. And so, but when you see her talk to an actor, whether it be an actor that's, you know, here for a scene or here for a big arc, she has a story, a backstory, a history. And it is so unbelievable to watch that, you know, creative talent that's walking onto our set be so well-respected, but also given this to breathe life into their character in a way that we don't normally have. And then to see how that shapes and molds their performance. And all of a sudden someone that, you know, is just a, you know, having a brief stint or whatever it may be has a novel of history to their character.

And it's remarkable the humanity that gets brought in in that way. And I think that's palpable on our show, which when I watch it, they're some of my favorite performances because even just the age of a person to be represented, to be seen, to have a story and opportunity. I was reading some stuff, you know, some articles that the mothers on Bridgerton were talking about and just how incredibly grateful that they were, that they were given these storylines at their age to tell these stories that, by the way, I was fascinated by and I was completely intrigued by, but aren't often seen. Or, you know, it's just, I don't know, I just think it's a real gift and it will just make us better humans if we open our eyes and our hearts and look at people in that way. Yeah, I think we're in the moment for that right now.

The show that you've been referencing a number of times, and it's actually interesting. If you look at the choices that you made over the years, even going back to, was there 2000-ish, Freaks and Geeks, right? It was like you're choosing this story where it's telling a little bit of the weird off, not this sort of mainstream. It's like this is closer to reality. It's closer to the bone. It's closer to the emotion. It's closer to the quirkiness. And that's been an interesting thread all the way through Sweet Magnolias, as you referenced

for these last few years. It's like, let's get as close as we can to the real lived experience of our viewers, rather than sort of like saying, like, here's a utopian version of things as an escape. It's like, no, you know, because I often think that media can either say, here's an escape, or media can say, oh, you're not alone. And a lot of what you've said yes to are stories that say, oh, you're not alone, which is really interesting because it says something about who you are. Oh, thank you. I have to feel it in my guts to really want to do it at this point. And even if that just means the people that I'm working with, I just did a

Christmas movie with Vince Vaughn and his team in park city. And it was, my character is certainly not relatable on any level to me. She's a little bit out there, but it was about the experience and the people that I was with. And, and, you know, so I have to really feel it. But I really feel strongly about creating TV shows or movies, being a part of those things that people can sit down and say, you know, you're not alone. Or I want people to see themselves in that and feel something. And it is really important to me. focus for me in the next few years, all of the hard work that we've been doing has been completely focused on that type of those types of opportunities, the stories that are a part of like the fabric of your life, you know? Yeah. Which is a nice segue also into, you know,

the fabric of your life. So I guess it was 2018 ish, mid 2018 ish. You were like, okay, so I have been in the world of acting for a long time, your entire adult life and a lot of your kid life also. And this new venture comes to you, The Happy Place. I'm curious, I mean, how would you describe what that actually is? Because you launched this thing, which it feels like it builds on who you are and what your values are. But what's the intention behind this? When you say, okay, I'm going to create this thing called The Happy Place, and this is mine. I own it. I produce it. I create it, of course, with other people and with the team. But what did you want in the beginning? What was your intention? What did you want it to be? Well, I was really afraid in the beginning. First of all, I was like, why would anybody want to care about what I do

with my life? I guess the moment in that moment, I didn't think, okay, I'm just going to kind of, you know, start a blog. Like that wasn't really what my intention was. So I was like, I have this story to tell and I have this passion for interior design and it had been brought, these ideas had been brought to me a bunch. And I thought, well, okay, well, instead of doing it in a way that someone else sort of perceives me doing this, let me start it. So it really started with this interiors, sort of your home decor kind of approach. And then I got over myself and said, I just want to tell these stories. And all of the sudden people were really excited about that or would ask me questions. And I would share a little

something about being a mom or a project that I would do. And so much of my mother is in this because she was so crafty. And my mom was pretty sick right as I started The Happy Place. So she was never able to really be a part of it, which is heartbreaking to me. I could cry about it now. But oftentimes I think of her for inspiration and it's really not about anything being Pinterest perfect. It's just about diving in, getting your hands dirty, you know, taking

a moment. It's really just kind of my own inner monologue of, um, my life as a mom. Like maybe some days you don't really feel like I, I don't love playing Barbies with my daughters. It was never, I'm like, am I terrible? But I don't want to sit there and be like, Oh, it just wasn't my thing, but I will do an art project with them or super glue something or paint something or make something with them. Like that was joyful for me. So it was something, you know, that we experienced together. And so I started to tell those stories and it just sort of evolved into this lifestyle destination that I wanted people to feel inspired by or, you know, interested in and, you know, just kind of, it's a little like pulling the curtain into

my life. And then my dad died and I thought, well, like I'm never going to be able to do anything that celebrates happiness ever again. And I heard my dad say, um, it's okay. Um, many, many times after he passed away. Um, and I thought, well, it's not, it's not okay. This is not okay. And, um, slowly I understood what that meant and that this is life and it's okay. And it's okay to kind of not be joyful in this moment, but there's happiness in grief as well. You know, it's, that's like the resilience of humanity. And, and so I leaned into that and then all of a sudden a whole new world opened up on the happy place, which was, you know, navigating that severe loss and searching for that glimmer of something, even, even if it was a split second, the little

light that kind of twinkled that you could, that caught your attention that you could go back to going to bed and with your covers over your head, but that glimmer. And as you lean a little bit more into that and that way of life and that philosophy, how that carries you through and makes you less afraid of the unimaginable. And I thought, well, that, that's, that was it. That's, that's the new journey. And, um, and then COVID hit. And so you're like, okay, here we go. How do we celebrate birthdays in this time? How do we get creative? How do we feel alive, feel connected in this time? And so it's really just been kind of a diary, if you will, of how I've navigated life since 2018 as mom, as a wife, as a daughter, a grieving daughter, a work woman, all of those things. And here we are now. So I try to really only share things that are really meaningful to me and exciting to me. And it's really, if you just look at the whole thing, you literally go through life with me. And it's really, if you just look at like the whole thing, you can, you can, you literally go through life with me. Yeah. I mean, it was interesting cause I did, I actually, I scrolled

back to your original post, um, which was like you like, Hey, there's this cute little nook on the side of my house. I love it. And here's, and then yeah, there's this shift. Um, and then before that you, you post about you making cafe con leche with your dad and um and then and then you share like you're like my dad's gone and then and you can feel a tenable shift in what you're willing to open up to or what you're you're writing about or speaking about um in a very open way and and i wonder also whether like part of what was going on was a desire to, I think so many times people grieve in whatever way is appropriate for them. You know, some are very private, some are more open,

some will share it with other people and let people in. But I wondered if there was an underlying motivation, whether it was overt or just kind of like it was there and it was something that emerged over time to acknowledge grief in a more open way to say like, you know, like there is, you know, let's actually, let's feel that this is one thing that we are all going to experience, you know, and that nobody ever wants to talk about. And I think also very often when you are, you know, a public persona, it's something where there's a lot of calculations.

How do I manage the conversation publicly around this thing? Even if personally you're devastated. And I feel like you made this interesting choice to say, I'm not necessarily going to share every moment and every step and every time I'm brought to my knees. But I think this needs to be a part of my public conversation and the public conversation. Yeah. I think that our society in general, we don't grieve in a great way. You know, there's like steps. People are like, oh, this is your stage of grief. And I'm like, well, I don't know about you, but I've like hit one, two and eight today. And then yesterday I hit three and four and it's, I don't want to say it's never ending because I'm not a doomsday type of gal, but if you can't find meaning in grief, you are really going to struggle because you can't buck it.

It's inevitable. And, you know, to have loved the way that I did, there was no version of me not being shattered into a million pieces, losing my mom and dad. Whenever that happened, it was going to happen because that enormous love was so powerful. And so, you know, I looked to the meaning of it. You don't get over it. You don't, you just don't. And it doesn't have to ruin you, but it changes you. And that's not a bad thing. And so, you know, to not really let that sink in, to me, it's just, it's putting a bandaid on things. And so I am very, very honest and open about my grief. And I do not shy away from it because I think that it's something we don't talk about enough and everybody experiences it. So I had a grief counselor tell me, you know, it's like being in ICU and you get off life support.

You're like, okay. And now they're like, okay, we got to get out of bed now. You got to walk around a couple times. And, you know, then you walk around a couple times. And then you get taken out of ICU and you go to the regular floor. And then you get, you know, discharged. Sometimes you just land right back into ICU. And you have to allow yourself the, you have to be kind enough to yourself to check back into the ICU every now and then. the context of you having just shortly before all of this,

both you losing both parents and then a spiraling into sort of like the last couple of years in general, this place called, you know, like the happy place and like, and then revisiting the question, like, can we, can we connect with something? Can we connect with moments of happiness? Can we connect with moments of joy? Can we still find some semblance of a happy place, even if it's passing, even if it's something we just touch into on a regular basis as an anchor? Maybe it's not a

persistent state because that's just not available to you, but can we find that within ourselves, within our world, even when things are hard, even when we're grieving, even when there's disruption all around us? And I think it's a really interesting conversation to just sort of like be in on an ongoing basis. Yeah, it is. Like I said, I will be grieving on some level for the rest of my life. I just got off the phone right before I started talking to you with my daughter's teacher. She's in third grade and they read a book about an elephant that passed away and memories. And it was so overwhelming to her, the loss of the elephant, the loss of memories, because my mother didn't really have a lot of that in the end. And it just hit her like a ton

of bricks. And I mean, my eight year old is grieving and she had the teacher, obviously, that's so aware of all of that. And a butterfly just flew by. Assigned. Yeah. And I just think to myself. It's important for me to openly grieve in a way that is so it shows my children that it's okay to do that. And it's okay to feel those things. And she will always have this with her. You know, I didn't have that. I lost my grandmother two weeks before my mom died. And then my other grandmother passed away. My abuela passed away when I was

pregnant with Emmy. So like I re and my grandfather, my abuela passed away before I was ever born. And so I really had my grandparents well into adulthood. And so I did it no loss at all. And I got hit like a tsunami. My daughter, if that's a different, she has a different experience. She understood, understands loss in a different way at a different time in her life. So I, you know, I try to navigate that with, in a way that gives her a healthy relationship to those feelings and that it's okay to cry about that. To feel it. I cry all the time about all different types of things. Deeply connected to emotions. Yeah. It's interesting to me also. So you're, you know, you're, you're in this world, you're moving through a period that's been really,

really tough for you. And so many people have experienced a lot of their own version of loss over the last few years. You're in the world of acting and creating and storytelling and telling really very human, real stories. You've got your own project with A Happy Place, which is going through its own major shift in evolution, literally, which is just reflecting your own personal shift in evolution and still inviting people to like reconnect, find those moments. You know, like, can you step back into this space on a regular basis? You also, you shared like the, the initial motivation or at least part of it was also like, there's a, I guess, underneath the storytelling and acting, there's, there's been a, it sounds like a lifelong interest and passion for design. And so we have, as, as we have this conversation, I know that you're sort of building on the happy place and this passion, this interest with your own line of home decor.

And I'm so curious about that because, again, it's like you've got this thing that you're passionate about that you love. But there's this other thing that's always been a part of you that hasn't really been centered. And it feels like you keep sort of like looking for ways to bring it, to give it more energy, to give it more of you. And it's interesting to me that you choose this moment in time, especially to focus on something which is all about offering things that would make people feel more at peace, more at ease, more themselves within their homes at a time where we have all just been through a few years where our home has become, it depends on the person and the day, like something that feels awful, something that feels like it's holding you captive, something that feels.

And so it's interesting to see you stepping into this space of saying, I wonder if I can take this love that's always been with me and create something that where I can offer something different than what I've been offering in the form of story that might help people tell a story in the way that they actually craft their own homes to be more them. Yeah. Well, it's really just listening to you talk about it is that or even just kind of taking us in that it couldn't be more spot on with how I feel about even going back to the beginning of the happy place I feel like you know and home decor interior design people are obsessed with it and often intimidated by it and one of the things that I always said was I I mean, I'm a lover of all different styles.

And I always said, if your home reflects you, you feel something about it, then that's good design. You know, it's it should be an expression of who you are and no matter what it is, just to have confidence in that. So now being given the opportunity to create a line with HSN has been honestly, it just, I'm totally tickled by it. I can't believe it because it's like, I have all of these ideas and I sit on the phone with all of these women and they're like, oh, okay, we're going to bring this good to you from here. And we're going to do this. And I saw this and let me just like, let's melt this together.

And then it's just so they're just shoving my dreams forward in that way. And it's like, so it, it feels like a dream come true in a really selfish way, because I'm like, this is something to the idea that I'm creating tangible goods that you're going to be able to snuggle up to is just like, Oh my God, I can't get over it. But then also to be able to create something that feels really beautiful and sustainable and something that can be a part of the fabric of your home. There's so much in that happy place intention that we have thrown into Clover by Joe that I just it feels like the right time to kind of say, hey, you know, have a little bit of us in your home, if you will. And I hope a lot of people will. It's just been, it's been a dream come true.

I'm just excited by it. And it feels like a great extension. And it feels like one of those things in life where you're like, I'll look back on it and think, that was really cool. Yeah, clearly the maker impulse in you is alive and well also. It sounds like the crafty part of your mom is also part of your DNA as well. It feels like a good place for us to come full circle in our conversation too. So sitting here in this container of a good life project,

if I offer up the phrase to live a good life, what comes up? Wow. We're ending our conversation on this because I feel like this could take me hours. to be kind to yourself, to others, you know, to not shy away from the things that scare you, because often those are the most rewarding, to love yourself and to savor those moments. It feels like, you know, I just keep getting the vision of just taking a deep breath and taking it all in. I wish it was more poetic about it. You know, it's kind of fear all of these inevitable, like these things that, you know, at the end of the day, it's not as scary as you thought it might be or whatever it may be, but it's just like, take a deep breath and ride the wave and be kind

to yourself. Thank you. Thank you. Hey, before you leave, if you love this episode, say that you will also love the conversation Thank you. Thank you. Of course, if you haven't already done so, please go ahead and follow Good Life Project in your favorite listening app. And if you found this conversation interesting or inspiring or valuable, and chances are you did since you're still listening here, would you do me a personal favor, a seven second favor and share it? Maybe on social or by text or by email, even just with one person. Just copy the link from the app you're using and tell those you know, those you love, those you want to help navigate this thing called life a little better

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