Good Life Project - John O'Leary | Choosing Awe

Episode Date: June 11, 2020

In 1987, John O’Leary was a curious nine-year-old boy. Playing with fire and gasoline, he created a massive explosion in his home and was burned on 100% of his body. He was given less than a 1% chance to live. John not only survived but, with the support of an incredible family, friends and community, found a way to reclaim a sense of wonder, joy and service that has led to a stunning career inspiring millions, writing books, while marrying the love of his life and raising four kids together. His #1 National Bestselling book ON FIRE recounts much of this story, and his popular Live Inspired Podcast takes you deeper into lessons learned. John's new book, IN AWE, (https://amzn.to/3dQ1dUO) explores the key elements that allow you to live from a place of awe, no matter what the world throws at you.We recorded a Good Life Project conversation with John in 2016, which you can listen to here: https://www.goodlifeproject.com/podcast/john-oleary-2/You can find John O'Leary at:Website : http://johnolearyinspires.com/Instagram : http://instagram.com/johnoleary.inspires/Check out our offerings & partners: My New Book SparkedMy New Podcast SPARKEDVisit Our Sponsor Page For a Complete List of Vanity URLs & Discount Codes. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

At the age of nine, John O'Leary was severely burned on 100% of his body. 87% of that was third-degree burns. Nobody expected him to survive the first night, but he did. And then the next, and then the next. He survived months in a hospital bed, dozens of surgeries, including the amputation of all of his fingers and years of therapy. He had every reason to be angry at the world and retreat from life. And some of that happened. But at the age of 27, a simple moment that he never saw coming would change his life and awaken a sense of purpose and contribution that would leave him forever

changed. It would also launch him into a career and a life that could be described as nothing less than stunning, fully alive, deeply connected and on purpose. And he's now told his stories and inspired millions of people around the world, written two books. We actually had John on the podcast back in 2016 when his book On Fire came out. And I invited him back today, both to explore the ideas in a new book, In Awe, but also to check in on the last few years and explore how he's moving through this particular moment in time, which is an experience that

has effectively eliminated more than 90% of his income. and he's a married father of four. So as ever, John has a truly powerful, honest, and realistic reframe on how to not just move through this particular moment, but also how to move through the days, no matter what the circumstances of the moment or the life are, increasingly in a place of wonder and awe. Really powerful and eye-opening conversation. Cannot wait to share it with you. I'm Jonathan Fields, and this is Good Life Project. The Apple Watch Series 10 is here. It has the biggest display ever. It's also the thinnest Apple Watch ever, making it even more comfortable on your wrist,

whether you're running, swimming, or sleeping. And it's the fastest-charging Apple Watch, getting you 8 hours of charge in just 15 minutes. The Apple Watch Series X. Available for the first time in glossy jet black aluminum. Compared to previous generations, iPhone XS or later required. Charge time and actual results will vary. Mayday, mayday.

We've been compromised. The pilot's a hitman. I knew you were going to be fun. On January 24th. Tell me how to fly this thing. Mark Wahlberg. You know what the difference between me and you is? You're going to die.

Don't shoot him, we need him. Y'all need a pilot. Flight Risk. You and I had the opportunity to sit down. I want to say it was about four years ago, four or five years ago at this point, and explore your life, some of the big moments. And so I'm excited to spend a little bit more time with you. You know, like fast forward, you're a little bit further into life. We're in a really interesting moment. And for those who may not be familiar with you, why don't we touch down on sort of what I think has become known as the, quote,

inciting incident in your life, drop back to when you're around nine years old, coming up in St. Louis, baseball fanatic, one of a couple of kids in a family. And in the blink of an eye, everything changes. Yeah. So what makes the question you're asking so wild is that the simple question is one that I could not have answered until I was 27 years old, because I never told anybody what happened to me as a kid. I didn't tell grade school chums or high school buddies or college fraternity friends. I told nobody. And so the answer to your question is that at age nine, I had witnessed boys in my neighborhood playing with fire and gasoline. And I figured, man, if these kids can get away with this and

it would spark to life, so could I. And so with my mom and dad gone on a Saturday morning, I walked into their garage. I'd been over a five gallon container of gasoline, filled to the brim with gas, lit a piece of cardboard on fire, tried to bear hug the container, slowly tipped it toward the flame, waiting for the liquid. And as you know, and as your listeners know, the fumes came out first, and it created this enormous explosion that split the metal cannon in two and launched me 20 feet against the far side of the garage, setting my world on fire. And that's really the first paragraph of the first page of the first chapter of a turning point in my life. Tell me, I mean, I know this moment was you end up, your parents were out from what I remember at the time, but your siblings were home. So effectively the garage is semi-exploded and on fire as are you.

Yeah, exactly. Right. Talk me through a little bit more of sort of like the immediate moment. Yeah. What's weird about that is most times when you hear someone telling a story, I would imagine from their childhood, it's probably told through the lens of their parents or history with a little bit of embellishment, but this are just my memories. And they're laser focused clear. I remember it as if it was just yesterday. And this is now 33, 34 years ago. Then after the explosion, I found myself on the far side of the garage from where it all began. I remember looking around me and seeing everything ablaze, like everything was on fire immediately. And I, oddly enough, did not know I was on fire.

I just knew I was in trouble in every way you can imagine that word meaning. So I took off, kind of like if you may have fallen as a kid on a skateboard or a bike, and you just pop right up and you start moving. That's what I did here. So I just took off running. I came through the fire, back into the house. I ran through the kitchen and through the family room. I stood on the front of our house on this rug, just screaming for help. I didn't know even for what, but I knew I needed help bad. And I saw like orange things jumping off of me. And again, I don't think I knew I was on fire. I just knew I was in pain and in trouble and needed somebody else other than me to help me forward. I needed a savior.

And as I'm yelling for help, I see my brother Jim racing toward me. He was 17. I was nine. And he had never done anything cool for me in my entire life leading into this moment. So it wasn't exactly him I was praying for. The O'Leary family wasn't exactly ready for this moment. And yet this was the day that changed all of our lives, including my brother Jim. He raced past me. He picked up a rug. He beat down the flames. It took him almost 90 seconds to completely knock them down. He told me later on they were leaping three feet off of me in all

directions. And so I'm a torch. I'm an inferno. He's beating down the flames. He then carries me outside in this rug, throws me on the ground, jumps on top of me, runs back into the burning house, calls 911, and then chases my two sisters out of the house too. And one of the cool things about this moment is Jim had been somewhat self-focused as a 17-year-old, sometimes is in life. And yet that day, he changed. He has remained changed. And in 1987, he was the lifesaver of the year for the state of Missouri. So it's pretty cool to think what someone can do in their life when it just has't just happen to you right this happened to everybody who is in your family too you know like it changes the quality of everything from that moment forward you end up in the hospital um your mom is given by the doctor the quote odds of making it through the first night which if i'm right i remember you saying is was a half of one percent right that. That's exactly right. And people love putting odds on the chance of someone being

reelected or the stock market bouncing back or how long we're going to be in COVID-19. The reality is these guys had no idea of what would happen next. The only thing they really knew for sure is I would not make it. So the percentage odds in 2020, when we're having this conversation of a patient recovering from burns is this. They take the percentage of in 2020, when we're having this conversation of a patient recovering from burns, is this. They take the percentage of the body burned, they add age, and they've got mortality. So in 2020, when a patient like I was burned on 100% of their body, 87% third degree, but 100% is the first number, 100% of the body shows up. In today's terms, they have 109% likelihood of dying. So 33 years ago, there really, there wasn't any chance at all. And so when the physician said

less than one half of 1% chance, it was really my friend later on in life, his name is Vachia Vash and his way of telling my mom that there is utterly no chance. And yet we're having this conversation. Right. Don't give up hope yet. The guest today survives the fire. So hang on for the surprise ending. Yeah. I mean, you know, clearly you survived that night. It's a brutal journey back to part of what you went through in the very early days was, I guess, multiple surgeries. And in the hospital for three, four, five, six months, something like that. Do you have recollections of that actual, it's interesting because I know

you have crystal clear recollections of the incident itself. When you are in that state, especially when you're in the hospital, when 87% of your body's third degree burns, 100% of your, I'm assuming also that there was very heavy pain medication going through you. Do you have clear memories of that window in time afterwards? Yeah. And what could I say all five months in hospital, I remember as if it was photographic in my memory. Absolutely not. But here are a couple of memories that are seared in my memory. The first was my dad coming into the hospital room. And to be honest with you, the only thought I had that day in the ER, the only thought as I'm looking at my hands and my body all burnt up was, oh my gosh, my dad is going to freaking kill me when he finds out. It's the only thought I had that morning. And then I hear his voice. They

bring him back into this room. I remember thinking, oh damn, the old man's going to kill me. He marches over. He points down, looks at me and says, oh, damn, the old man's going to kill me. He marches over. He points down, looks at me and says, John, look at me when I'm talking to you. So I look up at my dad and he goes, I have never been so proud of anyone in my entire life. And my little buddy today, this morning, I am proud to be your dad. And then he followed that with, I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you.

And as you know, your father, you're like, you know what this is like. I remember shutting my eyes thinking, oh my gosh, nobody told my dad what happened. Like he just has no clue what is really taking place here. That I burnt down his house, that I burned myself, that I caused this devastation. He'll freak out when he does find out. And yet clearly dad knew. And he also recognized what actually matters. Sometimes during periods of great crisis, like the one we're currently living in right now,

it does have a way of, yes, causing and inflicting some pain, but also slowing us down, refocusing us on the things and the people that actually matter. And that can, in fact, be a blessing. That day, my dad reshaped the focus of his life and has never looked back. And so his love was part of what I remember. And another thing right behind my dad, my mom's love. And she took my hand in hers and she said, baby, I love you. And the question I asked her was, am I going to die?

Will this fire kill me? And I assumed she would say no. That seems to me what a normal, nice parent would respond with. And instead, she provided truth, which is what we need as listeners, as a nation, as leaders in business and families, society. Like we do need honest truth. It can be painful to hear, but man, it's ultimately the way we can take the next best step forward. And that day, my mom said, baby, do you want to die?

Because it's not my choice at all. It's yours. And I said, mama, no, I don't want to die. Jeez, I don't want to die. I want to live. And her response was, and I realized not all of us have the same faith background, but her response was, baby, good, then take the hand of God, walk the journey with him and you fight like you never fought before. Your father and I will be with you. The staff is all around you, but John, you got to choose. You got to fight forward. And on that morning, it was the first day of the journey going ahead. We made a commitment to fight forward and having no clue what Sunday might look like or Monday or week two or month three, but we knew the fight was on. Yeah. Part of, you mentioned she took you by the hand. Those hands would never be the same after this either. Right. Part of, you mentioned she took you by the hand. Those hands would never be the same after this either. Part of what you endured was, well, we'll explain what. Sure. So, you know, when you're burned so severely, your skin never naturally grows back. So they have to take pieces of skin from the parts of your body that are still healthy. For me,

it's my scalp and my face. My face, as you look at it today, it's completely unburned seemingly, but my scalp was where they drew 14 different times the skin for my entire body. So it's really a radical, cool process that brings these little patients back to life. But they start at the core, the stomach and the chest and the back, and they move out from there. And unfortunately, by the time they made it out to the hands, it was just too late. So they had grown so sick that they had to amputate the fingers to keep the rest of the body alive. Sometimes this is what you have to do to save a patient, whether it's frostbite or burns. Yeah.

As a nine-year-old kid, realizing what you're going through, your mom being very honest with you and being in there every day, choosing this is how I want to be here. At the same time, when you discover that you're going to effectively lose your fingers as part of like, that's part of the bargain. That's part of what, you know, is going to happen here. As a nine-year-old boy, once you realize I'm going to live, like I'm going to make it through this, but there's going to be this major change. What spins in your head at the moment?

So I wasn't at the bargaining table when the negotiation was had it took place in mid-february about a month and a half in and the way i remember it and again there aren't i don't remember everything how do you remember five months of life in particular when you're inundated with all kinds of pain and morphine but i remember distinctly waking up from a surgery and it's a painful memory, but it's also looking back on it, a beautiful memory. And I looked up and I saw my dad crying and my dad never cries, man, a Midwest guy, army guy, like he just did type A alpha dog, humble and faithful and beautiful, but not the kind of guy that usually led with tears back then. He does now, but not back then. And he's just crying on top of me, man. And I don't know what he's crying about. So I remember looking up and saying, dad, why are you crying?

And he said, baby, they had to take your fingers. And to me, what does that mean for a kid coming out of anesthesia? To me, nothing. So after we go through this a few times and he used words, I did not fully understand like amputation. One of my first questions to him was, well, when will they grow back? Because hair grows and fingernails grow. So when will the fingers grow? And he said, baby, you're misunderstanding me. They're never coming back ever. And dude, that was the hardest point in the time in hospital, because even as a child, you realize what that means. Like the very first thing that went through my mind is I'll never hold anything in my hands, including a pen or a girl's hand or the opportunity to move forward in life. I'll never get a job. What kind of life will I have? And so my dad keeps saying to me, they saved my

life. And I keep reminding him, you didn't save it. You took it, dad. You took it. So it's a painful moment. And yet today, you know, you and I are looking at each other. So we're able to see each other's faces in the backgrounds. And you see behind me kids all over the wall and this beautiful bride picture in some of those shots. And I've got a wonderful job that I love and a life that I would trade with no one, no one at all. So yeah, it was a difficult, difficult day and moment. And yet it did indeed lead to the best that they had

promised in front of me. Yeah. It also sets up a moment that it sounds like it was really kind of transitional in a lot of ways. You finally come home. I mean, after spending five months or so almost immobilized because you can't really move because that's part of the treatment, I guess it's probably changed since then, but effectively you know like tissue regrow so that it stays stable having lost a huge amount of muscle mass and not being able to to move all that well so you're in a wheelchair and you're home was it two days and there's a knock on the door dude i mean you know so i what i love about my story is how little of it is my story. If I was here just bragging on how great I was or am, it would rock all of us and every one of your listeners right

back to sleep, man. The reason I love this story and all the stories we share is because none of them have anything to do with me. I'm a character in it. I'm the one kind of noticing what's taking place and able to share with everybody else the importance of living this in their own life. But I'm not the hero. I'm the storyteller. So it's important people hear that context. So I'm at the kitchen table. It's been 49 hours or something that I've been home. It's fresh, man. I'm in a wheelchair. I'm wrapped from head to toe with bandages still. The journey forward looks hard and arduous, but I will survive it, we realize. And then the knock on the door is my piano teacher. And my mom walks into the kitchen and I look up at her and Jonathan, I hated piano before I got

burned. So it wasn't like I was looking forward to someday maybe returning to piano, man. I hated it when I had all 10 digits and now I have none. I'm on morphine. I'm wrapped in bandages and I'm in a wheelchair. I know she's not there for me. How could she be? There's no way. And my mom walks in and I look up and I said, these days might benefit from a page here. She doesn't say a word. Talk is cheap. Talk is cheap. And instead, she just humbly, quietly unhooks the brakes on my wheelchair. She rolls me away from the pity party where I've been really for five and a half months. She takes me into a living room where my great grandmother's piano was. She locks the brakes and my mother walks out without speaking a word. And this beautiful lady named Mrs. Bartello steps into that room. She puts her arm around me. I'll never forget this one either. Puts her arm around me and looks me in the eyes and says, John, we're going to do this together. And then she had a rubber band. She wrapped it around my right hand,

put a pencil between that and the bandage. My left arm was up in an airplane splint, so it was completely unable to play at that time. But with a pencil strapped to a rubber band at the end of a bandage broken hand, a little boy in a wheelchair on morphine begins playing the piano. And as much as I hated that first lesson, a week later, the doorbell rang and that woman came back and then back and then back for five years of lessons. And man, today I love the piano. In fact, during quarantine, my daughter, Grace, and I are learning one new song every week during quarantine. So far from hating my mother or Mrs. Bartolo these days, I'm wildly grateful for those lessons and for that vision. Mayday, mayday. We've been compromised.

The pilot's a hitman. I knew you were gonna be fun. On January 24th. Tell me how to fly this thing. Mark Wahlberg. You know what the difference between me and you is? You're gonna die.

Don't shoot him, we need him! Y'all need a pilot? Flight risk. The Apple Watch Series 10 is here. It has the biggest display ever. It's also the thinnest Apple Watch ever, making it even more comfortable on your wrist, whether you're running, swimming, or sleeping.

And it's the fastest-charging Apple Watch, getting you eight hours of charge in just 15 minutes. The Apple Watch Series X. Available for the first time in glossy jet black aluminum. Compared to previous generations, iPhone Xs are later required. Charge time and actual results will vary. glossy jet black aluminum. Compared to previous generations, iPhone XS or later required. Charge time and actual results will vary. It's a beautiful thing that the gift there was,

you know, in part instilling a love of this thing, which you've now carried decades forward into your life and into the life of your kids and your family. But the other part of it is, you know, you come home and your fingers are largely amputated. The idea of doing something like this, let alone even the most basic functionality, is the most foreign thing on the planet to you. And your mom and your piano teacher basically, you know, like plot this coup to use the piano as a vehicle to teach you a different lesson. It is a coup. That's a wonderful word to describe it.

They took over the power and yet in doing so reinstilled the power, if you will, like because your first point is dead on. I had no ambition. I could do a couple of things for fact. I'm never going back to school. I'm never going to get a job. I'm never going to learn how to write. And I'm going to be dependent upon everybody else for the rest of my life. And to be honest with you, if I'm being really transparent, I was all right with all that, man. I'm home. The birds are singing. Baseball's back in season. Life is all right. I don't have to go to school. This is a win-win for a kid that never liked school in the first place. And yet that piano class was really the first massive step toward normalcy, toward possibility. least your mom and this one other woman and your immediate family do not accept the view that you have left the hospital with about the way your life is going to be. And they're not going to let

you accept that either. And not only that, but your other take is dead on us, right? It is the world's view. When you see a kid as fragile, as broken, as scarred, as wounded, and as in quotes, finger quotes are in the air right now, people as useless as this child on morphine wrapped from head to toe with brokenness, the world kind of gives up on that. And then in step these people, and they were two examples, but then individual after individual after individual kept showing up as other examples that this child's going to have an awesome life, not just, okay, this child's going to go on to do some amazing things. Just watch. But the first person they had to convince of that was the child himself.

Yeah. Well, I guess it was sort of the evolution of what your mom told you at first in the hospital, which is like, you have got to choose. path that you want. But believing that that path is even available to you when all you can see is no conceivable way to make it happen. The genius of your mom and your piano teacher basically saying, you don't have to believe you're going to be able to play songs or be a concert pianist. But we're going to show you that you can play one note at a time with a pencil, you know, like rubber banded to your hand. Like that's all you have to believe and take a step towards that. So that wasn't saying buy into this whole vision. It was saying buy into this one microscopic task.

And just because I'm hearing this right now as a business owner, as a spouse, as a parent, as a son to two parents, both of them struggling, one of them with Parkinson's disease with 30 years of experience behind that. And I'm hearing this not as my story as a nine-year-old kid, but my story as a 43-year-old man, like, yes story is a 43 year old man like yes you need a bold vision and yes you need to realize the value of interdependence and all this other stuff but man the first step is the most important can you take that next step today and that's enough that's enough yeah and having those people around you um you you also I know part of um part of this journey and that's sort of like really early days. And then we'll start to move a little bit forward ahead as there's another sort of turning point where your parents are, you're on the mend and your parents are sort of looking and saying, like, is there anything we can do with his hands? And it's sort of like the tale of two surgeons.

Ben, I'm so glad you asked this question. So thank you for doing your homework and asking probably my favorite one of my favorite stories from that book. And here's the story. I doing a surgery that somehow cuts into the webbing of the hands and allows the patient to regain the ability to grasp things. Like crazy, but hey, what the heck, why not? So we drive out to the surgeon. He's a seven-hour road trip from our house. We wait forever to see him. He comes into the room, eventually meets with us. And what I remember most about that visit is the entire hour or so consult, he never once spoke with me. So he talked at me, he talked about me, he poked and he prodded, he did the things that you might expect around my hands and knuckles, but he never once saw me, not once. And so at the end of this visit, my father, who was just a prince of a guy, says to this physician, so doc Doc, what do you think?

What do you think about my son? And the physician's response was, and this is word for word, if he was a horse, I would shoot him. Denny, if your son was a horse, I would shoot him. And so we get out of that waiting room as quickly as we possibly can. We get back into our awesome Woody station wagon of the day, make the seven-hour trip back home, never to go back to that physician. And about 10 days later, we had our second consult. And it's with a guy in our own backyard. His name was Carlos Pappalardo.

I reconnected with him recently, actually, an amazing guy and an amazing reconnection for 33 years. What I remember most about that visit, I'm now 10 years old while we're waiting for him. This gentleman walked into the room and he was looking at a folder, like a patient's folder. And he was singing in Italian when he walked into the room. Like I barely have a grasp of English. He's singing in Italian. I have no idea what he's singing. I can only hear the joy in the song. And he sits down at his little doctor's desk and he reads the file for a little bit. He shuts it dramatically. He claps his hands like this loud.

And he goes, my goodness, what luck is this? Is it? Has it come to pass that today I get to meet the miracle boy himself, John O'Leary? Has it come to be that I, Carlos, get to meet the miracle boy himself, John O'Leary? Has it come to be that I, Carlos, get to meet the miracle boy? And then he clapped his hands together and said, what luck is this? He grabbed the folder, looked into it, started singing again, and he walked out of that room. Never looked at any one of us. And then a moment later, the door opens back up. We see this sweet old man peek his head around the corner, glasses around his eyes.

And he says, oh my, I'm so embarrassed. Were you here the whole time? 10 years old. So I have this enormous smile on my face right now. And I nod and he goes, are you John O'Leary? And I nod my head and he goes, are you the miracle boy? May I shake your hand? And so he walks over, he takes my broken right hand in his, he shakes it with both of his. And after this nice long consult, my dad says, hey, doc, what do you think about my son's hands? And the physician, again, I'll never forget what he said. He says, Denny, they are as beautiful as an Italian sunset. That's how the physician chose to view my hands. We opted to do work with this gentleman there

were four surgeries involved but as you and i are having this interview today this conversation i have a pen in front of me that i'm holding with the the fingers that he cut uh out of the webbing of my hands i'm able to hold a phone dress myself play a piano with chords if you can imagine so i'm able to do things in my life today because that man saw not a horse that should be shot, but a sunset that should be admired. Yeah. It's interesting. I wonder sometimes, I think we all run into people like that. And I wonder what it is. It's not that I wonder what it is about them. I wonder, do you have to be born that way? Or are there things that you can do? Are there practices? Is there some intentionality

where you can wake up and maybe not in the blink of an eye or snap of a finger or whatever it is, but over time, shift your orientation? And I guess really, if we zoom the lens out, right, that's, you're two bricks into a writing career right now. And your latest book, In Awe, I guess to a certain extent is really, it's about that question. Well, you're setting up the question in a beautiful way for me to brag on that.

But I believe your question was either or. Are you born this way or can you switch into it? And the answer is yes and. So what a gift for those of us who are born into this ability to sing in Italian when you walk into a patient's room. Like that's just awesome. Some people are born with that kind of heart, that kind of mindset, that kind of charisma. Others, I believe, can fake it to make it.

Others, I believe, can adapt muscles that allow them to be way more playful, way more whimsical, way more curious, way more childlike, not childish. I believe we see way too many examples of those of us who are childish in the way we tweet or yell or raise our voice, plenty of that already going on. But we can train ourselves to return to who we once were, which was the ability as little ones to see the world with this profound sense of awe for everything, everything, whether it's a patience without fingers in front of us, an Italian sunset, or a peanut butter and jelly sandwich waiting to be eaten. We can choose to see everything as if it is the very first time ever we've witnessed it.

And in choosing to be like that we ourselves begin to show up in a very different mindset and manner yeah i mean it's interesting to hear you say this right because you're an interesting messenger for the message because people could look at you know sitting here now you're in your early 40s so this conversation with carlos pablardo happens more than three decades ago. You have built by all accounts, a beautiful family, a stunning career out there, um, speaking for a lot, a lot, a lot of people consulting and helping millions of people. And if somebody sits here and looks at what you have, I actually don't like the word overcome. I would imagine you actually don't use that word. Well, I'll say to you this way. I actually don't like the word overcome. I would imagine you actually

don't use that word. Well, I'll say it to you this way. I'm not all that impressed by John O'Theory. So I, I, um, I feel as if I've been led forward by others and by experiences. And the thing that I have done well is to be able to say yes to, to both of those. Yes. To the individuals who showed up right on time and yes to the experiences that were both damning, very difficult, but also incredibly life-giving. Dr. Andy Roark Yeah. And also to have that frame, because it would be easy for somebody to look at the journey that you've been on and say, well, I understand if they have a dark lens on the world. I would understand with the adversity that

they have faced, not waking up in a state of wonder and a state of awe and a state of possibility. Like, okay, I get that. And yet you have very intentionally chosen the exact opposite and built a life around the exact opposite, which I guess is probably a lot of where your fascination with this question comes from. And when we talk about this word awe, we bounce it around, you know, a couple of times now it is in fact, the name of your latest book in awe. What are we actually talking about? This sounds so trivial and childish, but it's joy, like raw, unadulterated joy for everything. And in fact, when astronauts come

back from circling their planet, when they come back seeing the sun as if no one has ever seen it before, and the stars like no one has ever seen it before, they all come back changed, all of them. And the way they've described it, these researchers, is they come back with a sense of awe, just a sense of awe. Well, what does that mean? They're radically changed through an experience. And for John O'Leary, for those of us who are a bit more pragmatic or maybe a bit more cynical, whatever your lens of life is, that's all right, because me too. I was not the optimistic, ferociously optimistic, joyful guy that you hear in front of you right now in my early 20s and in my mid 20s.

And it took a life changing experience actually at age 27, if you can imagine, when a group of three Girl Scouts asked me to share my story at their troop. The very first time I ever told anybody what happened to John O'Leary, getting birthed at age nine. Why would I tell a horrible story? I mean, what a horror. It's a tragedy. A little boy gets burned, spends five months in hospital, loses his fingers, and goes through the rest of his life broken. Where's the joy in that? And yet in sharing this story for three Girl Scouts, they did not even pay me with a box of Samoas, but they did pay me with three firm hugs afterwards. And then one of their fathers said, hey, would you speak to my organization? So I did. And then another guy from that organization said, I got an association,

would you come there next? After a while, you start realizing, what are they coming for? Why do they bring me back? What are they seeing in this story that I'm not? And in time, I began to look in the mirror and see not just the amputations and the brokenness and the scars and a few wounds that remain, but like healing and redemption and beauty and dude, a ton of resiliency stuff. I never saw myself. I think we're usually the last ones to see the beauty of the reflection. We may think we're good in some areas, but I think those who know us best know the areas that we're actually best in. And it's not even the ones we generally think we are. And so I was really fortunate middle way through my life to have

people who barely knew me, but became familiar with me through the story to point out to me where I shined because I never saw it in myself. And that changed my perspective, not only on the reflection in the mirror, but on life itself. Yeah. I mean, it's interesting. A lot of people report, you know, you mentioned the astronauts. When I've taken some time and explored really emerging, fascinating research and the study of awe and the scientific study of it. You referenced Dr. Keltner at Berkeley, who's done some of the leading research around it. And very often, the reference is there is something that happens to you or something that you witness that shatters your model of the world

as you know it and leaves you to figure out how you're going to reassemble the pieces to create a new lens and experience on the world. What's so interesting to me is that almost invariable when you hear stories about people who have experienced moments of awe on the level where nothing is the same afterwards, it's related to some sort of massive natural phenomenon or like big, grandiose experience. And what's so powerful to me about your story about the three Girl Scouts is that it's evidence that there are these opportunities for your worldview to be shadowed and reassembled differently in these little touch points all along the way. So for those of us who would rather not get burned on 100% of our body or wait for SpaceX

and a couple of million bucks to take you to space, the good news is exactly what you bring forth, that it does not need to be that radical inflection point. It can be. It can be cancer and the recovery through it. It can be losing a spouse. But man, let's not wait for the dramatic. Let's recognize it in the seemingly insignificant. That's where the best of it happens. There's a phenomenal, a spiritual guy named Henry Nowen, well-renowned New York Times bestselling author. All this stuff, man, traveled the world. But his life changed for the better when he left the world and saw beauty in the lens

of those who had some challenges with their emotions, those who had been born with mental retardation, those who were diagnosed with Down syndrome. These people who maybe the rest of us see as somehow challenged in one way or another. But in working with these individuals, kids at first and then adults later on in life as he continued to progress, that's where he saw how life ought to be lived. And it changed his life profoundly because he saw within them the ability to view ice water as a gift. They were blown away by an inchworm. After a rainstorm, we step over worms. Yuck. They were in away by an inchworm. You know, after a rainstorm, we step over worms. Yuck. They were in awe of an inchworm. And so the way they perceived life changed the way that he chose

to perceive his life, which changed his entire life arc afterwards. So, man, it does not need to be going to the moon and back. It does not need to be being burned on 100 percent of your body to choose off. Mayday, mayday. We've been compromised. The pilot's a hitman. I knew you were going to be being burned on 100% of your body to choose off. Mayday, mayday. We've been compromised. The pilot's a hitman. I knew you were gonna be fun. On January 24th. Tell me how to fly this thing.

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Charge time and actual results will vary. You deconstructed into, which I thought was a fascinating frame for this. You sort of say, you know, there are five senses associated with this. I'd love to walk through those if that's cool with you yeah of course we've kind of touched on on one or two to a certain extent like you talk about wonder as being one of these senses and it's really mapped as almost like a curiosity and an openness to possibility tell me more to everything to everything you know what's so ironic is uh i'll answer the story by giving you the way we adults,

because the whole book is this. What is it that kids have that we lose sight of and how do we return to it? And part of what they have is raw curiosity and openness. That's key. And openness for everything. And so one of the very first responses on my book came through and it was a one-star rating, if you can imagine. Why was it a one-star rating? A reader criticized me for being wildly political in this book and having every thought contrary to the thoughts that she holds fast to, which is very ironic on so many levels because number one, the book is not political at all, at all. And secondly, as I read through her context, her belief system, it's actually the exact same belief system that I myself have in my personal life. It's not something I feel like unpacking during a podcast,

but I found it very ironic that someone that I would see eye to eye with, man, and the way we go through the life was the very person who came into this book with their arms crossed saying, why don't you see it the way I see it? Kids would never do this. They would be curious. And then once you gave them a little bit of information, they would learn from it and they move forward. Kids love to end sentences, not with explanation points like this email I received from this one-star reader, but with question marks. They want to know why you feel the way you feel. They want to know, are you sure? They want to know, why are your hands missing fingers? Why is your skin red, mister? But as soon as you answer that stuff for them, it's not like, well, you're wrong.

You're wrong, buddy. They don't ask questions to have you come over to their side of the fence. They ask questions so that they can meet you somewhere in the middle. And it's a really cool way to imagine how we can come together as a community, in particular during a crisis. But it's also a cool way to imagine how we can solve many as a community, in particular during a crisis. But it's also a cool way to imagine how we can solve many of the problems that remain in front of us today, not only around the economy and COVID-19, but solutions to problems that we don't even know are in front of us yet. We will need not a judgmental mindset to solve the issues of the day, but raw, unfettered curiosity, the curiosity that is alive and well in the wonder of a child.

Yeah, it's like that idea that we spend the entirety of our lives trying to get back to the state that we lived when we were a young child, because that is sort of like where it's at. You use a prompt, what if, as a really interesting exploration. And I happen to be a really big believer in that prompt as well. We, for a number of years, ran an adult summer camp at the end of the summer's camp TLP. And one year, I used to always give the final talk on a Sunday morning before we bless everybody on. And not in a religious way, by the way, just see. Calls are calls at 10 o'clock, people. And I got up on stage one year and I said, we're going to do something a little bit different. And I had said on the first day, the invitation, when people arrived, I said, I want you to actually move through the next four days. Just saying to yourself, well, what if, what if I, you know, like sat down with this person that I've never met before and just started talking to them. What if I did all these things that made me uncomfortable? And then the last morning I invited people to come up and just, I had a stool, I had a stool next to

me and give them the mic and share their what if stories. And it was maybe the most moving thing that, you know, I'm so glad that I didn't sit there spending an hour sucking up time and space because the stories that came when everyone said, you know, and I said to myself, well, what if I do this? And then people said I was uncomfortable and I was scared and I was nervous and I made the best friend of my life. And I realized that I could make art. And one woman came up, she's like,

well, what if I sang in front of 425 people with Jonathan? And I was like, oh man, so you're calling me to sing with you now and I don't sing. So, but it's such a simple yet powerful prompt when you really just use it almost like wear it as a lens to move through your day. Man, it's one of the most powerful,

infrequently asked questions available to every one of us. And it is life changing on a very small scale. Back to you playing, using your voice in front of 400. I had learned the piano at a young age, but I would never play publicly because by the way, I'm missing fingers. They didn't naturally, amazingly, miraculously grow back. And so I have surgically created fingers that allow me to do some things, but man, I miss the notes all the time. So I don't play at bars. I don't play at Christmas parties. It's at my house. But my wife and I went to a concert, a little band called Coldplay about four years ago, and they rocked the house. And two days

later, I fly out to a conference in Las Vegas. It's in front of 4,000, or I'm sorry, in front of 23,000 people. And they have a piano off to the side. So I'm doing to a conference in Las Vegas. It's in front of 4,000, I'm sorry, in front of 23,000 people. And they have a piano off to the side. So I'm doing my sound check in the morning, making sure the tones are just right. And after we get all that work done, while the theater is completely empty, I walked over and I started playing The Scientist. It's like my favorite Coldplay song. So I started gently playing this thing out. And then I feel someone tap my shoulder and she says, I didn't know you know how to play the

piano. And I said, no, I don't. And she goes, well, I heard you. You do. Will you play for my family today? And her family is 23,000 consultants. And the adult answer is, heck no, man. Have you seen me? Have you seen my hands? Have you heard me? No. But then the question comes to mind and it's one kids ask all the time. What if, what if, what the hell, what if I just did it, man? And what I'll tell you is not only was it by far the most moving part during that one hour to jam the piano in front of people who make excuses for far less things than missing their fingers and playing the piano anyway. But we make excuses all the time in life with limiting beliefs internally and externally. So that was cool. But at every single venue over the last

four years since when they have a piano, I will play it. And I hit the wrong keys. And I think the wrong keys are almost as powerful as the right key sometimes. The ability to stand up, leave behind your ego, step forward and say, people, let's do it together. Let's move forward into possibility together. So I love the question, what if? John F. Kennedy, I think the date is September 12th in 63, maybe, correct me when I'm wrong, at Rice University said, we choose the moon, not because it's easy, but because it's hard. Man, we had not yet invented the majority of the stuff that would be in that spaceship, the alloys, the metals, the majority of the stuff that would be in that spaceship,

the alloys, the metals, the technology, the navigation, even the food that would go up and back in that spacecraft. But we got there not by having the answers, but by asking the questions. And it is ultimately how we will move through the season of COVID-19, how we will rebounce from a recession and how we will build, I think, into a society far greater after this storm than the one we entered into it with. Yeah, I completely agree. And I think a part of that embedded in it is also a willingness to get an answer to the question, which isn't perfect. know where it's it's to accept the fact that it's it's more interesting and potentially more valuable and more rewarding to just ask the question and answer it rather than only ask the question if you know that you can deliver perfectly on the answer which is what

so many of us do and then we just walk away instead of saying yeah i mean like you said you went out you didn't hit every note. And very likely the notes that were off were more powerful, resonated more powerfully with the audience and the ones that were on. So even as a presenter, I've asked myself, why the heck, why do organizations keep bringing me in? And why does the stage keep growing in size? Because the reality is I'm not the most articulate guy out

there. And I think it's right there, what you just heard, that these ahs and ums and authenticity, man, and this honesty and this, come on, let's do this together. We will figure it out. When we began this business 15 years ago, my first employee asked for more money than I'd made in the previous two years combined. And so there was no way this thing was going to happen. And I had not yet told her that, but my wife and I knew, well, that's not the career that is yours to have apparently, because you can't, you can't bring on staff. And then I received a letter in the mail and all it said was this,

it was a quote she wrote in her handwriting, but it said, John. And then the quote was, let us determine that the thing can and should be done. And together we shall find a way. End quote. And then the words Abraham Lincoln below it. Let us determine that the thing can and should be done. And together we shall find a way. And that is a really cool childlike way to go through life. If the thing is worthy, whether it's getting to the moon and back by the end of the decade, or figuring out how to rebuild New York City,

which you and your family and neighbors are dealing with right now, let us determine that the thing can and should be done. And if you get that far, together we shall find a way. Yeah, I love that. Sage words from a gentleman who did a little bit in life. Well, and it's easy to call BS on O'Leary or others, man. But when you keep the country together, you know, the guy gets a little bit of street credibility, man. So, yes, if you're going to listen to a politician these days, check into Lincoln. And also notice that he brought in people from all different parties and completely different perspectives. Some people would say it's to have your enemies even closer than your friends. That might be a part of it. I think Lincoln was wise enough,

though, to learn from people he disagreed with. And I worry frequently, and I won't make a judgment about current affairs, but I will tell you, I worry frequently that we only want to hang out with people that look, act, worship, vote just like we do. Yeah, which closes our world rather than expands it and opens it. One of the other things that you talk about, you describe as one of these five senses is something that you call expectancy, which I thought was kind of fascinating. And it feels like it's building on where we've been going. But I think the word expectancy, the word wonder kind of like it conjures up everybody. So it's like, oh yeah, sure. I understand that the word expectancy the word wonder kind of like it conjures up everybody so it's like oh yeah sure i understand that the word expectancy i feel that it needs some you need to

break it down a little bit yeah so first the model of it and then the breakdown so the model and i'll be brief in these remarks for the non-baseball fans but i have a son named patrick who the only thing he likes more than the breath in his lungs is baseball. He just loves baseball. He's currently 12 years old, but at age eight, and then each year going forward, he gets to choose with his dad where he travels that summer. And as a guy who used to travel all the time, my kids used to choose where they went with their daddy. We call it the daddy trip. They choose the city. They choose where we stay and they choose every meal we eat, every activity we do. It's their trip. I'm just along for the ride. I'm like, I'm their arm candy, baby. I'm just there to get them into the ride. So he chose Kansas City because the St. Louis Cardinals were playing the Royals.

And what I noticed first as he got in my car for that trip is he had his glove, leather glove on his left hand. It's summer. I know he's going to lose it. He's an eight-year-old boy. We're gone for two days. Don't bring your glove, Patrick. And he said to me, Dad, I'm going to need it. I'm going to need it.

And I'm like, dude, you're not going to need your glove. And in the eighth inning of the game, this is a true story like all of them are. A foul ball by Dexter Fowler, our right fielder, is crushed down the left field line. He and I are a few rows deep. I wisely duck. I don't have fingers. I and I are a few rows deep. I wisely duck. I don't have fingers. I don't have a glove on, that's for sure. And I have my wherewithal to watch out for myself.

And my child, eight years old, stands, lifts his left hand high, and I hear this loud boom, a ball crushing into leather. I look up. He's looking down. His glove is still up, and there's a baseball inside of it. And I remember thinking, Jonathan, man, he's looking down, his glove is still up and there's a baseball inside of it. And I remember thinking, Jonathan, man, he's the luckiest guy in the world, man. His first out of town game and he gets a ball. The next two summers on these road trips, he brings his glove and it sounds crazy, except for the fact I have photographic evidence to back

it up. And seated in various places within these ballparks, once in Pittsburgh the following summer and the following summer in Cincinnati. He comes home with baseballs off of foul balls or home runs, three consecutive trips, three consecutive baseballs. What is that? Well, part of it is luck, but the other part of it is expectancy. So what is expectancy? It is the belief that if you think something's going to happen, it's far more likely that it will happen. If you believe that you're going to catch a baseball, you actually bring a glove. If you believe that every pitch has your name on it because the ball is going to come your direction, you don't even go for a hot dog. You don't go to the bathroom. You don't look down at your phone. You're constantly watching the game so that you can be proactive. You're expecting it, which is healthy when you want to baseball as a kid.

It won't guarantee it, but it's going to increase your odds. In healthcare, the pharmacy reps out there, the challenge many pharmaceuticals have is whether they give you a sugar pill or the actual goods, either way, patients begin to show signs of improvement. That's called expectancy. It's the placebo effect. Conversely, if they tell you this is going to hurt you, whether they do it to you or not, you actually feel pain. It's it's called expectancy and on that side it's called the nocebo effect so what we think

will happen in fact does begin happening in our life because we show up in a completely different manner than we would otherwise what i love about the way you frame it also is there's this idea of manifestation that's been bouncing around the sort of metaphysical and spiritual world for probably the last decade, 15 years. And a lot of times it's framed as, if you simply adopt a certain mindset, the universe will rise up and change to accommodate you and give you what you want. What I love about your frame, and I have never been an advocate of that, but at the same time, people will say, but I adopted this mindset and all these amazing things start to happen.

What I love about your frame is it says, well, yeah, but it's not because all of these things completely outside of your control magically change to accommodate you. It's because you created a very specific expectation and maybe without you even some of it is deliberate, you know, like your, your son brings the glove to a game. That's an intentional act. But then once you sort of like tell your brain this thing, you know, you also start to notice, well, there are a hundred other micro actions that get taken. You're not even aware of, but you're acting very differently in the world. And through these actions,

through these changes in your own behavior all day, every day, they increase the likelihood of these things happening. And I love that it creates a sense of the locus of control is within you rather than waiting for the universe to just rise up and accommodate you. You're so right. And even whether you want to take the story around baseball or dating or anything else in the world, diet, cancer, anything else, you think differently. You meditate differently. For those of us who have a faith life, you pray differently. You exercise differently. You speak to yourself differently and to others differently, which influences back the way they speak back to you. They mirror the way you treat them. All of this has the way of

making you hungrier. You eat differently. You start working out differently. You start living differently. You take different actions. You go to work differently. Everything starts to change because your mindset changes. And I won't negatively critique the model that says, if you shut your eyes and just, hmm, it comes to pass. There's power in mindfulness, unequivocally, that's a fact. But I think the real power is when you open back up your eyes and you move, you move. And so that's where the goods are. Yeah, so great.

I think it's really good to sort of program your internal GPS to what you want to happen and then yeah, build actions and behaviors around it. But it doesn't like the actions and behaviors don't start to become apparent until you actually identify the thing, which is interesting also because when we relate it back to the experience you had with your piano teacher, you didn't necessarily know, or she didn't necessarily know at that given moment in time, what is the clear picture of the end game that we're working towards? I love the idea that expectancy can work on a micro scale as well, and add up over time to something much bigger. So in that same, so the book is unpacked in five different senses. I think there's like 30

chapters, but it's five big building blocks. And sense two is expectancy. And within that, I also kind of contrast hope and hopelessness, learned helplessness and hope. And one of the characters within that is a guy named Andre Norman. And here's a felon who did everything in the world to spend the rest of his life in jail. Like just not a guy named Andre Norman. And here's a felon who did everything in the world to spend the rest of his life in jail. Like just not a good dude at all. And then he had an encounter with a rabbi who talked about forgiveness. He started going to counseling. He started learning about anger and anger management and PTSD and growing up in the way that he grew up outside of Boston, making all these decisions, having the perspective of the world in one lens. Then he met two nuns who talked about redemption and the

opportunity he still had while confined to start living a better life. And they told him, Andre, we want you to come up with a dream. Come up with a dream for what's possible. And so this guy who could not read dreamt of one day going to Harvard, which is kind of a radical dream. Andre Norman goes on to get his GED. He goes on to learn how to read and write. He goes on to spend, yes, two decades in prison, but he goes on to then graduate high school and college. And he's an adjunct professor at a school called Harvard University. How is that possible? I mean, it's a crazy story, but the very first step along this journey was him believing that in fact, it was possible. This learned helplessness that had kept him chained for his entire life, no longer was part of the equation. It changed the way he felt about himself. He interacted

with others, including the guards, including the counselor, including the rabbi, including the community at large, which eventually would change his life in total. So Andre Norman's a dear friend of mine. He's the real deal. His story forward was heartbreakingly painful. He made a lot of difficult, painful decisions on the way forward, but eventually he decided to change his mindset. And that micro change, it's a very small change, in solitary confinement, by the way, that micro change began to change the complete trajectory of his entire life thereafter. Yeah. I love that also because it makes impossibly large things feel possible. Not because you believe that the impossibly large

thing will happen, but because if you can identify the tiniest next step, it becomes much easier to actually believe that that is possible and that sense will inspire the action just there. It's this weird duality of you very vaguely hold the big impossible thing out there, not believing in it, but maybe just a half of 1% saying, who knows? But getting to enough belief for the immediate micro thing to do it. And then just letting the returns on your tiniest actions start to become a body of evidence that eventually lets you believe the bigger thing might just happen. So I believe we think we can get a lot more done in a day than we ever could. No, no, not maybe you, not me.

Many of us try to get an awful lot done every day. So true. But I think we think way too small about what is possible in a lifetime. A lifetime, my gosh. How many careers do you want to have? What places do you want to live? Who do you want to connect with? How do you want to change their life for the better? All this stuff that is possible. And so when I walk through people through goal setting exercises, rather than saying, you know, by June 5th,

what is possible? I always begin with the end in mind. Shut your eyes. If you could achieve anything in your wildest dreams and nothing was impossible, what would you do? And then, well, man, I would do this and this. And then we slowly peel back, slowly peel back and keep

coming all the way back until it is back all the way into the day and then we say okay what is one thing you will do today andre norman to move toward harvard university one thing i'll reach out to the guidance counselor about how do i even take the first step toward getting a ged it's not that hard that's one step and when you take that first baby step, man, you are on your way to Harvard. Yeah. No, I love that. We've talked about two of the five senses. You also spend time diving into something you call immersion, really exploring the concept of belonging and the fact that you are in fact, a piece in this larger fabric of humanity and community and an interesting spin on the concept of freedom i'll let our awesome listeners sort of like spend more some time more time settling into that if

they want to know more because they're each powerful and deep conversations but i think also they all tie together right now like we've got these five things both in the moment that we're in but i'm also really curious on a very personal level for you. So you have spent your entire adult career basically building a body of work, building a set of stories, building a set of ideas and tools and practices and principles, and then literally traveling around the world, planes, trains, and automobiles, constantly speaking. This has become the centerpiece of the way that you contribute to the world, the way that you earn your living, the way that you support your family.

We're in this moment right now where the career that you have loved and used as your primary channel for all these different things effectively doesn't exist right now. So my curiosity is as we sit here and have this conversation in this moment, and that is in fact your reality, and we talk about this idea of embracing wonder and expectancy and immersion and belonging and freedom and coming to a state of awe, and you're also facing this reality, which a lot of people from the outside looking in would view as bleak or some similar. Tell me how, from the inside out,

you're navigating this moment. Man, I'm so glad you asked and we're so real, even in the way you framed it. Like, just to add a little context, I'm an author, podcast host, and motivational speaker. 94% of our revenue disappeared on March 3rd. That's 18 members, my own mortgage, four kids, wife, helping parents out, 94% gone. So for me to pretend as if everything is totally fine and it's like the Lego movie. Everything is awesome. Everything is awesome. Well, sort of, but man, these are challenging times. And so we've done a couple

things. One, I've been very clear with my team, with my wife and with my kids that it's okay to be sad. Like this is a time of grief. It's a hard time, hardship, isolation, unemployment for many. And those numbers seem to be going up every single week. So it is okay to begin feeling some sadness and anger around this. You got to grieve what you've lost always. Otherwise, I don't think that's really learning and growing and full awareness in life.

So I've grieved it. And then you breathe. And then you realize, now what? So we had a couple of decisions to make organizationally. One was to return to the safe harbor, let go of everybody, and just wait for the storm to pass. And in 24 months, hey, I'm back. Hey, guys, what's up? It's John O'Leary on the stage.

Let's rock. That's one opportunity, and it's one we refused. Because I think the most important work we will ever do actually will take place during this season. So we pivoted. We raised the sale higher than ever before. We've actually been doing far more work than ever before using webinars, using technology, using podcasts, getting our work out there, coaching up individuals, coaching up teams, organizations. So that's one thing I'm really proud of is that we've been able to remain fully gainfully employed across the board. We've been able midstream to pivot the Titanic, man, away from the icebergs that we had already hit

to bandage it up and to continue to move forward in life. And not only to keep ourselves afloat, which is fine, but far more important to keep other organizations, other individuals and other teams afloat, which is our calling. So I'm extraordinarily excited about the fact that we were able to pivot online radically quickly. That was very cool. Another thing we recognize is although we pivoted, we still have lost a lot of our revenue, but we still dream of being generous. So as an author, the majority of your sales come through the first week of sales, all pre-orders, all the work you do in the months leading up to it, all of them hit, boom, it's going to be a huge week. Let's get it all. Let's

cash flow this thing out. Finally turn the world from red to black. And then I had a conference call. I'm a board member of Big Brothers Big Sisters, and I'm an active big myself. And just, I was a little in my life at one point, and now I'm a big and want to get back. So they're going through the challenges they face organizationally. And then the executive director shares that, you know, kids used to go to school for food. They did get educated, but please, they came for breakfast and lunch. And our job now is not only to create matches, it is to provide food and joy and experiences that keep these kids alive, alive. And she shared it in such a manner where I'm like, stirred my heart. And so I came home that day,

my wife and I talked about it and we reflected and prayed over it. And so we decided to give 100% of the profits from the first week of the book in awe away to charity. And we give it all to Big Brothers Big Sisters. And I mean, I'm extraordinarily proud to say we moved probably 10,000 books or so in that first week. And every one of the dollars that would have gone to us instead went to Big Brothers Big Sisters.

During a time, Jonathan, that I would have benefited from that money. Like we would definitely have benefited from those dollars. But, man, I think we're called to be generous not only during periods when it's sunny and you're on top of the world telling everybody else how great it is up here. That's awesome. Come on up people. But man, when you really can shine is when you feel like the shadows are upon you and you're beat down by it and you're in the valley and you're not sure which way is up and you're not sure when the fog is going to clear. To remain joyful then and generous then, to make a difference then and to allow your children to see you like this then to be

totally candid with you i think it's going to be the best we do this year and maybe ever organizationally to give the best of our year away to this awesome organization and to watch them then change the life of the kids they serve like i i have joy in my heart emotion man as i share that story because uh it reminds me and my kids, it's not about us. It never was. It never will be. So let's make sure we don't make this season just about us. I love that.

Powerful and real. Accept what you're going through right now and then make some really deliberate choices. This is you sort of going through your framework and saying, I'm not going to deny. I'm not delusional about what's happening here, but I'm realistic, I'm practical, I'm going to look at the truth of things on the ground and make choices, even if it isn't necessarily the easiest choice for us to make, if it feels like it's the right choice. And if it will put me in this place of feeling the way I want to feel and also being of service, which is a huge part of who you are and what you're up to. Can I just riff on that for a minute? There's a movie my kids and I watched early on called,

early into this pandemic called Groundhog Day. And I'm sure every one of your listeners has tuned in and most of them are probably posting that they're living Groundhog Day right now. And I get that, man. These are tough days. We feel isolated. We're trapped in some places. We're poor in many places. We're not doing life the way we wish we were or used to. And so they're saying, man, it's like Groundhog Day. And what they might be missing

and what we might be missing when we say that's how we're living right now is what happened in that movie. And you don't need to stream the movie. Let sit on John's lap just for a minute longer, kids. And this is what happens to Phil Connors. Phil is an angry weatherman who doesn't even like his job in the first place. And then he keeps replaying the day again and again and again. And he gets angry and he gets mad and he clenches his fist. And then he eventually says, forget it. If I can't get out of this day, I'm going to embrace it. So Phil Connors, played perfectly by Bill Murray, learns French. He learns a new language. He learns how to ballroom dance. He learns how to play the piano, both classically and also jazz. He learns how to become an ice sculptor.

Phil Connors learns when a kid is going to fall from a tree so he can be there to catch him. He learns when an older guy is going to choke in a tree so he can be there to catch him. He learns when an older guy is going to choke in a restaurant so he can be there to save him. He learns the names of every individual in that town so he can be there for them to serve them in whatever their need is for that day. And in growing to become the far better version of himself during this Groundhog Day, not only does Phil make everybody else better during this time, which is our calling, but he finally snaps the day. And then he wakes up to this new dawn, this new day, this new opportunity in front of him. And my hope for John O'Leary, for my kids, our family,

our organization, and then those we can influence is that we utilize this time to become better. And that when normal returns, we don't return to life like we normally did. That we recognize maybe the ladder we were climbing was leaned against the wrong wall. Maybe we can achieve a different level of success in a new way. Maybe we can recognize again what it really means to be significant, to be successful, to be impactful, and to be of service to those around us in the community. And if this pandemic does that, man, it's going to be hard to get through this season, but long-term it could have mighty benefits societally. And so I always see things as a glass half full, but I think we can come through this thing even better because of what we're

going through. That doesn't mean we're not going through some unbelievable heartache right now. And we're losing friends and we're dealing with PTSD and unemployment and everything else. And our frontline healthcare workers and those of us who have lost family members. But if we can grow in time, this might be the kind of thing that,

that we look back on as a moment in history that believe it or not was a defining moment for the better. It feels like a good place for us to come full circle as well. So sitting here in this container of the Good Life Project, if I offer up the phrase to live a good life, what comes up? Jeez, what I had this morning. I wake up and I look to my left and I see a brunette sleeping still. And then I get up and I walk down the hallway and I see four little kids sleeping. And I go downstairs. I make a coffee. I walk outside.

I watch the sunrise. I say my morning meditation. I say my prayers. I give thanks. Let the dog back into the house and get after my day. And this is a hard time for us. For me personally, I'm a business owner, a speaker, a father. You and I talked before we recorded.

I had to take a son in today for surgery. This is a difficult day for so many of us. But when I think of the good life, I think of the life I currently have going on. And I just hope and pray that our listeners realize whatever they're going through right now that, man, what if they define this moment as a good life? What might that do for the way we enter into this good life? And what might I do for the rest of the life that unfolds after this good life? It's important we recognize that in 2018, when I wrote the book, in all, that 94% of news stories were negative. During a period of

profoundly low unemployment and historically high markets, 94% of our news stories were negative. And it reflects, I think, a collective consciousness of how we feel about our lives. And so I really encourage people to see life not through the lens of cynicism, because then you will believe that it's not a good life. See it through the lens of ferocious optimism, through the lens of a little bit of faithfulness, through the lens of hope, through the lens of expectancy. Bring your glove and watch what happens. Thank you. Honored. Thank you.

Thank you so much for listening. And thanks also to our fantastic sponsors who help make this show possible. You can check them out in the links we have included in today's show notes. And while you're at it, if you've ever asked yourself, what should I do with my life? We have created a really cool online assessment that will help you discover the source code for the work that you're here to do. You can find it at sparkotype.com. That's S-P-A-R-K-E-T-Y-P-E.com. Or just click the link in the show notes. And of course, if you haven't already done so, be sure to click on the subscribe button in your listening app so you never miss an episode. And then share, share the love. If there's something that you've heard in this episode that you would love to turn into a conversation, share it with people and have that conversation. Because when ideas become conversations that lead to action, that's when real change takes hold. See you next time. Mayday, mayday, we've been compromised. The pilot's a hitman. I knew you were gonna be fun. On January 24th.

Tell me how to fly this thing. Mark Wahlberg. You know what the difference between me and you is? You're gonna die. Don't shoot if we need him! Y'all need a pilot? Flight Risk. The Apple Watch Series 10 is here.

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