Good Life Project - Love & Lunch on Skid Row | LaRayia Gaston

Episode Date: May 7, 2019

Moving from New York to Los Angeles, LaRayia Gaston (https://www.linkedin.com/in/larayia/) was struck by the extreme poverty she saw in a part of the city known as skid row, and how close it was to extreme wealth. Raised to always lead with love and be of service, she could not turn away. While simultaneously launching and building her own design and branding agency, she founded Lunch On Me (LOM) (https://www.lunchonme.org/). The organization now redistributes organic food that would otherwise be discarded to people living on skid row six days a week, reaching 10,000 people a month.The story of this community, along with Gaston's time both helping, then living on skid row for 43 days, is the subject of a forthcoming documentary called 43 Days. You can learn more and help contribute to its production here (https://www.crowdrise.com/o/en/campaign/43days).-------------Have you discovered your Sparketype yet? Take the Sparketype Assessment™ now. IT’S FREE (https://sparketype.com/) and takes about 7-minutes to complete. At a minimum, it’ll open your eyes in a big way. It also just might change your life.If you enjoyed the show, please share it with a friend. Thank you to our super cool brand partners. If you like the show, please support them - they help make the podcast possible. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

So my guest today, Larea Gaston, grew up kind of between New York City, Philadelphia, Maryland, and eventually Tucson, where she went to high school. And after leaving, she found herself drawn to LA, not entirely sure why she wanted to be there. But once she was there, soon after, she also found herself in a part of LA known as Skid Row. Skid Row is almost like a small, to each pretty substantial, tent city where there's a very large homeless community that has been there for generations. It's something that a lot of people have thought about, tried to work on, tried to solve, and yet it remains. And when she went there, something happened.

It's sort of a part of her from the time she was a small child was always told that you've got to lead with love and do your part always. And immediately she found herself in a place of being shocked, but also wanting to be of service, wanting to help out in some way, shape or form that started by helping provide food, but also by to be of service, wanting to help out in some way, shape, or form that started by helping provide food, but also by helping provide love, by seeing people and wanting to

get to know them as human beings. Over a period of years, that has since grown into an organization called Lunch on Me, where they feed now 10,000 people on Skid Row every month and host monthly parties where it's not just about food, but it is about acknowledging everybody's humanity, being of service in a number of different ways and bringing two different parts of the LA community together to awaken each other. This story, how she moved into it, how she built something from nothing, and also how she kind of lives a dual life, devoting a huge amount of energy to this part of herself and also fueling it and funding it with almost sort of a one-person Robin Hood model with another business where she also uses that as a powerful expressive outlet.

It's a really interesting way to sort of satisfy all parts of her. Super excited to share this story with you. And be sure to keep tuning in to our special second weekly episode this month as we introduce you to new musicians and singers and songwriters and performers every Thursday throughout the month of May. Super excited to bring this to you.

I'm Jonathan Fields, and this is Good Life Project. Mayday, mayday. We've been compromised. The pilot's a hitman. I knew you were going to be fun. January 24th. Tell me how to fly this thing. Mark Wahlberg. You know what the difference between The Apple Watch Series 10 is here. It has the biggest display ever. It's also the thinnest Apple Watch ever, making it even more comfortable on your wrist, whether you're running, swimming, or sleeping. And it's the fastest-charging Apple Watch ever, making it even more comfortable on your wrist, whether you're running, swimming, or sleeping. And it's the fastest-charging Apple Watch,

getting you eight hours of charge in just 15 minutes. The Apple Watch Series X. Available for the first time in glossy jet black aluminum. Compared to previous generations, iPhone Xs are later required. Charge time and actual results will vary. My biological father's from Brooklyn by way of Puerto Rico. And my mother's from Arizona, fell in love and came East and a baby was created. And I happened to be that child.

So did you actually grow up in the city or something? Yeah, I grew up here and then I went to Arizona for high school, back to where my mother was originally from for a couple years. Also raised with my stepfather in Philadelphia. And so I've been between New York and Philly and Maryland my whole life. Got it. What's Maryland? My Cuban family's there from my father's side.

Got it. And tell me, what kind of kid were you? Whoa. I was a lot of different things um one i was very unorthodox because i had been raised by adults but they all happened to be 20 year olds and i was just having this conversation with my family the other day i was like wow i was raised by a whole bunch of 20 year olds like a village of 20 year olds because my mother had me so young she was 19 and so i was around adults i was the only kid for about 10 years. So I've

always had these extreme balances of being the only child and then having a village. I'm the oldest of eight. So I've seen both growing up, having one side of my family that's wealthy and one side of my family that grew up poor. Like I've always had these extremes, having one side of my family from the US, other side immigration. So it's just always been these balances, but then these juxtaposed positions. And I think they 100% played into the kid I was because I felt like I was a walking paradox. I did so many things from these extreme places because of my experiences. And then being a kid, being surrounded by adults who happen to be children too, I didn't have that in between. I was always with adults.

So I think I grew up really quickly and I established self very, very young. Like I don't think I'm, I think I'm my eight year old self, but just in an older body. You're like eight years old, got it locked in. Now we just kind of like. I think no one's older than eight. I feel like that's when you get to like your spiritual high. No one's older than eight. Everyone. You know, I see those moments all the time within people. I know. I know. It's interesting because I think there's like an age right around there. I can't remember when it is, but it's somewhere like plus or minus a couple of years where

like your sense of self and your sense of identity, but also your sense of self-consciousness really starts to land. And it's like, first you discover, okay, so this is what I'm really about. And then pretty quickly after that, you're like, but does it fit in with everybody else around me? You start to like back away from it and shield it and hide it. Yeah. And I recognize that I didn't, I was super hypersensitive to energy and to people. And you were aware of that even really young? Oh my God. I was aware of like premonitions by like third grade. Cause I would have all these like visions and I would say, oh, I dreamed that yesterday yesterday or I would dream of someone before I met them and then I would meet them days

later that I had never met before and that happened to me actually recently it's it's always been that way I think because I was young and I spent so much time by myself as an only child um there was no one to tell me what I'd seen like it it wasn't, you know, it wasn't fluff. You know, a lot of people grow up with, they're growing up with other kids that might not have those same things, but I was by myself. So I was able to validate what was real.

So there wasn't a moment that I had that those things were suppressed. I just think I kept them within myself and I didn't speak about them till I felt safe spaces that people had similar experiences. Do you remember the first time you shared that with somebody? Yes, which is my best friend. We've been best friends since we were eight years old.

Her name's Jamila. A lot of things happen when you're eight. A lot of things. And it's an infinity sign too. It's very interesting. But yeah, so my best friend, Jamila, who happened to be my grandmother's neighbor in Philadelphia from my stepdad's family. So I have my biological father, stepfather, mother. And so my Philly family is from my stepdad, which who raised me, he's like best thing since sliced bread. But yeah, she was the first person because that the day that I met her and it was interesting because I was just in Philadelphia yesterday with my grandmother and her and the day we met, we got into a fight, like argument, eight-year-olds.

I don't know what we were beefing about. It was the fire hydrant. I was playing in it and she was trying to claim it, the whole thing. But she had said to me that day, you're going to be my best friend for life. And it was weird because when she said it, like it resonated so true in my core. And my grandmother had told me yesterday, I don't know if you realize, but before you walked outside to play, you said, Grandma, I'm going to come back with a best friend. And what I never thought, I was by myself. So my best friend was like, well, how are you going to find one when I found you playing alone?

And that was the first moment I recognized. Because even with like past life regression and reincarnation and things like that, she was the first person to tell me, oh, you were this person your past life. And even to this day, like now, when I look at like my behavior, I like, oh, she's a hundred percent right. That's completely coming from soul memory. That's so interesting. So this has been something that you've been, I mean, not only with you, but also aware of at a really young age. Did you feel, it's interesting whenever somebody sort of, you know, like touches on some sort of unusual or unique sense of perception when they're really young. Cause I've talked to a lot of people who in some way have like stumbled upon this in their life, but they felt

they're really young. And a lot of times they really feel like, and especially, I don't know why this is, but a lot of times it tends to happen with people who already in some way feel like they're other. So they already are different than other people. So they really, this would make them even more different. So they completely hide it from the world. Yes. I kept it between my best friend. And like I said, we're still best friends to this day.

I talked to her every single day. I was just with her. I'll be with her tonight. We have the best relationship. So it was amazing because I had one space I could go. And then my stepdad too, there's some of the things I would say, he would joke about it,

but he would never deny that. I wouldn't just say things like that, the things that I knew or just things I understood. But with everyone else, no, I definitely developed this thing that came where I would speak when spoken to. I had so much to say, what I had to say because I had recognized there were gifts there that I had been keeping from others and had nothing to even do with me. So I decided to share. So tell me about your mom. So I was raised by my grandmother.

My mother was young and she definitely embodied that age, maybe even younger. And my grandmother, who I lost almost two years ago, a year and a half ago, she was the most incredible woman in the world because I had to recognize because we always have these things with like loss, right? Like it was really hard like last year and a half for me kind of reestablishing my relationship with the closest person to me and not having her tangible. So what was so beautiful was I discovered even within this year and a half, like she's still teaching me lessons and she's not here, but I had learned for me, the value I had within our bond was the fact that she held space for me. And that was the most powerful thing that could have ever happened to me because I've always been resilient, strong, but I had a place to pour and I had a place to recharge. And she was my space to recharge. It wasn't that she could ever save me, but she could hold a place for me to figure out how I

saved myself. And that's what I had with her. And she was incredible because now I'm doing that for so many people. And I never realized until she left, I realized why the work I've been doing was so important because I'm holding space for people. Like my mother held space for me. So, yeah. So, and tell me if this is, if this is too much, but I guess where my mind is going, when somebody, when you have that one person who is the person who holds space for you and they pass and you seem like somebody who where like that space, it's important that that exists somewhere in your life. How do you rediscover that? How do you recreate it in your life? So it's so interesting because I've never

had a problem with death because I believe in reincarnation. I don't think anything dies. It just redirects. But when her death happened, I was shattered. Like I crumbled. I was shattered. And I had to get to a place because I'm not usually like that, especially with death. I have a very like healthy relationship with death. I'm not afraid of it. I understand it.

I understand the purpose of it. But with her, it was interesting because I had to understand what is paining me. It's not her physical body being here because I can feel her. What is paining me? And I had to recognize that space because I was mourning at a space that I thought was lost. But that space was actually redirected. And I learned that from Skid Row. Like she sent me there.

And because since she's passed, the amount of signs, what's happened in my life is just, I can't even explain it, but I know someone's talking to God for me and I think it's her. But I found that space and that space is a space I'm creating for people because she passed the torch. And that's what I realized. That loss was, it was a parting, but she was passing the torch and I didn't know that until she left. Yeah. You brought up Skid Row a couple of times and we're definitely going to get there. I want to fill a little bit of the gaps along the way before we go there.

You start out in New York, you bounce between Philly and Maryland, but then do high school out in Tucson. What was going on there? Why Tucson? At the moment, my stepdad went into medical school. My mother didn't really know what to do she didn't want to be in philadelphia and um so she decided to go there where her mother was so i went to high school there felt super out of place yeah because what's that i mean it's like northeast city vibe is very different oh my god i was literally like two different planets almost i was literally like a dolphin in the middle of a desert, like a mermaid. It just was so like, it was a bizarre thing. And it was interesting because that whole time I just kept flying back to New York and spending time because I was like, this is not home. This isn't full. It felt like a moment in time. And so when I turned 17, I went to Mexico. I've been like, I have lived. That's all we need to know is I have lived.

And yeah, it was different because I didn't feel the same. And then where were the Cubans and Puerto Ricans? It was just a whole different thing. So I definitely felt out of place. What was in Mexico that brought you there? I was dancing. So I used to dance. And the first person or celebrity I danced for was Pitbull so he was touring there

and I got to go so it was cool and then I started doing independent films so it kind of worked out so that's what took you was it the film then that took you out to LA eventually?

no so it was I had this weird thing where I was trying to decide coming from Mexico being on my own so young like I had started paying bills being on my own

since I was 16 years old so being 17 I had two choices do I go back to New York? What I know, or because my family now lives in Arizona, do I go to LA where it's closer? And so I said, you know what, let me try LA. And that's what like, I, there was no, the first time I did it, I was like, oh, and I wasn't, I didn't feel, I didn't understand why I needed to go to L.A. because I didn't feel drawn there until I went to Skid Row. I've said Skid Row a couple times, but I didn't feel my purpose until I got there. When you first got there, though, what were you doing?

Dancing. I did music videos. I danced, modeling, just entertainment. Yeah, but then I'd always fed, so that was one of those things, too. Tell me about, all right, so let's entertainment. Yeah, but then I'd always fed. So that was one of those things too. So tell me about, all right, so let's get to Skid Row. I know. So first we should probably explain what Skid Row is.

Because if you're in LA, you know what Skid Row is. Yes. If you've visited it. But if you're not, you may not. And you may have just heard the term used in different contexts. But in LA in particular, it speaks to one very specific area. Yes. Well, the name Skid Row came from like the terms when people say they're on the skids, as in they're out of, you know, they're out on their luck.

And it's a 50 block radius tent city of homeless people in third world country conditions in downtown LA. It's been there for decades, right? Yes. Probably longer. Yeah. Oh, it's been there. Oh, I want to say probably early 1900s, 1920s. It's been that for decades, right? Yes. Probably longer. Yeah. Oh, it's been there. Ooh, I want to say probably early 1900s, 1920s.

It's been that long. Yeah. Skid Row is, it's an interesting place and it's very established. I think that's like the most odd part about it is it's one thing when people are homeless. It's another thing when they're established and you can tell it's been there for so long. So you get to a place where you're like, how is this not fixed? How is this still existing from the view of high rises? Yeah.

What was your very first experience at Skid Row? Well, driving through energetically, I was heartbroken. I was heartbroken to see that type, that quality of life in a financial capital. That was so confusing to me because it didn't make sense. It showed me what greed looks like. That to me, if you don't understand that greed exists, just walk through Skid Row and watch people perish and people literally perish, die on the streets, drugs, violence, everything you could think of, and people in Maseratis are driving by. That is hard to look at. And that's hard to face like the conditions of humans too.

When I always want to think that all of us are coming and are existing from our hearts. But seeing that more aren't. And it's obvious. So that to me was like the perspective that pushed me so far. Because any person that I come in contact with I will help like my my whole philosophy is I don't I don't want to Leave someone without leaving them better than they came to me. And so I can't ignore pain. I can't ignore suffering I can't pretend it's not my problem whether I know their name and I it is collectively so that was one of those things that I was like, I just, I want to help. I want to do everything I can.

And I've always believed in infinite abundance. So whatever I have here, you can have it all. I've never felt attached to things. So I've always just wanted to help. And that's how I felt the moment I seen it. I was like, there's no way I can go past people without asking if they're okay or if I can help them. So that was my first thoughts. And then I started to think, think oh man i how are we moving

past this why are so many people okay with it that was that was another one for me it's not people are in that space because they're down on their luck what more can you i mean but i would look at other people and say well why aren't you contributing How do you sleep at night? How do you feel purpose? How do you inherit gratitude without service? Because you can't just write it on a notebook or get a tattoo of it. How do you really inherit that and embody it and live it? And so those were the thoughts I had, were the people who are suffering

and the people who are unmoved by others suffering. Yeah. I mean, it's interesting too, especially in a city like LA. Well, I guess any major city, especially in the US and developed world, when you see such extreme opposites in, I mean, it's not even like a couple of miles apart. It's like a couple of feet apart, a couple of blocks apart. Yes. And grappling with how those two extremes can coexist for so long without it being solved. Yeah.

I think there is both sides. There are huge assumptions about both populations. There are huge assumptions made about the people that are living in Skid Row, the people that are homeless, like how they got there, why they got there, you know, like blame, shame, all this stuff. And then looking back also at the people who have, you know, and looking at how they got there and also similarly blame and shame, but for completely different reasons.

So it's like, how do you even start the process of bringing those two together? Well, to me, it's creating spaces. It's a common theme in your life. Yeah. Everything is creating spaces. I mean, what can I do? I'm a product of my mom, but creating sacred spaces for people to feel safe on both ends, for whatever they're coming from, right? Because we can't assume how people got to their places. But I know that creating a space where people can be seen and it's about just being present with one another and the gift of just conversation and a meal, like love, like just down to the basics, you know, nothing, nothing extreme, but the basics of life and existence. to me, that created something very powerful.

And I didn't know anything about how to do this. I knew how to love people. That's all I knew. I didn't know anything in between. I didn't know the nonprofit world, but I knew how to love people. And I knew how to create a space because I was given that space. And that's why I become so resilient in my own life and my obstacles. But creating a space where people can be seen and loved

and there's no, it's not built on anything outside. Like everyone, you know, whether you're housed or unhoused, there's all these obligations, expectations people have of you. But creating a space where everyone can just be and be loving and be open. Like the biggest thing for me was, how do we create a space where you can be who you are authentically, where there is no judgment, where it's not about anything other than just

wanting to give love and be of service and having a space where it's accepted and your love is not used against you. And that's what I wanted to create. I wanted to feel like I could give everything I had in every moment. And I didn't feel like my love was used against me, but it was embraced. And I never felt that in any other place other than Skid Row and going to different places where there are homeless populations. That's the only place I felt where my love was 120% accepted. Yeah, I mean, it's so interesting. If you go so many different places and to find that, like that's the one place where you just show up as you are. You're seen, you're accepted. Yeah. I mean, it's so interesting if you go so many different places and to find that,

like that's the one place where you just show up as you are. You're seen, you're accepted, you're embraced. But I have to imagine a lot of that also comes from you bringing that same lens to people. I remember a chunk of years back, I ran into a guy named Mark Horvath, actually, who started something called Invisible People in LA. He was homeless, eventually got off the streets and started this foundation where he travels around and just films and tells the stories of people who don't have a home. And he said it started out one day because he was talking to somebody on the street

and like a kid walked by and I think gave him a sandwich or something like that. And the guy on the street was like, you see me? Like you actually see me? Because he had been on the street in the same place for so many days, so many weeks, so many years, I think it was. And people just pretended he wasn't there. Like he started to believe he was invisible. And it was like this moment where

it's like, oh, step one is actually just like, I see you. Because I think it's so hard for so many people to even acknowledge that there's this person there when you don't know what to do. So you just almost like tune it out and pretend it doesn't exist. So to even like step one, just like acknowledge and see the humanity in these other people, like, no, you're a person. Yeah. And I think the most interesting part is like when you look into people's eyes and especially when I see someone that's on the street or that's hungry, that's suffering, when I can look in someone's eyes and they can smile at me, the first thing I think of is they suffer well. Most people don't suffer well. Tell me what you mean by that. We're spoiled in society. I mean, if someone's drink order is wrong, have you ever just sat at a coffee shop and hear how people talk to each other? We don't suffer well because sometimes privilege has been more of a curse than it is a gift when it comes to developing our character and our patience and our gratitude.

And I see so many people, and especially nowadays, I hear about depression and anxiety more than I've ever heard of ever in the last maybe five years. I've heard extreme levels, like everyone I know has depression and anxiety. When I go to Skid Row, no one has it. And they see violence, pain every day. That's suffering well because they're actually grateful. I hear more comments of gratefulness, just gratitude and skid row than I do in Beverly Hills. And I go to both places equally the same amount. But for some reason in life, I've become a witness to see, you know, to witness these things, I guess, to share light of what I've seen. And it's interesting because I think the most heart shattering part is watching

someone suffer well and be so kind and being given the short end of the stick. That part to me is like, how? Like, it's always incredible. It's because even when I see them, sometimes I still, I see a gift there, even though a lot of people would see someone that's homeless and, and it's hard. And that's why I always pray that in these moments, I hope these are just moments. And this isn't the end of their story, that things will change because there's a gift there because the amount of gratitude they're able to hold in that space. You know, I can have a guy in a wheelchair, like not only being homeless, but someone also dealing with some type of disability. Right.

Not having the resources to be cared for or have assistance and still be kind or excited about a cup of coffee that we bring or excited that we just show up and say, we'll help you in these moments that we're here. That gratitude to me is, that's what's inspiring. I've heard the most profound people. I've, you know, I've sat with people in all their books and philosophies. But when you sit with someone who's suffered well, there's a different type of knowledge and understanding about life

that you can't get any other place. And that to me is like, that shifted me in a way that has been a gift. Yeah. has the biggest display ever. It's also the thinnest Apple Watch ever, making it even more comfortable on your wrist, whether you're running, swimming, or sleeping. And it's the fastest-charging Apple Watch, getting you eight hours of charge in just 15 minutes. The Apple Watch Series X, available for the first time in glossy jet black aluminum. Compared to previous generations,

iPhone Xs are later required. Charge time and actual results will vary. Mayday, mayday. We've been compromised. The pilot's a hitman. I knew you were going to be fun. On January 24th. Tell me how to fly this thing. Mark Wahlberg.

You know what the difference between me and you is? You're going to die. Don't shoot him, we need him. Y'all need a pilot. Flight Risk. I know you've sort of, you know, you've been doing this for a number of years now, and we'll talk about more about exactly what you're doing. But is there anyone who stands out to you? Are there any individual people or stories where, as you sat with them, as they shared their story, as they shared that lens that's so unique, where it just really, it moved you, it stayed with you, it changed you?

Yes. There's so unique where it just really, it moved you, it stayed with you, it changed you? Yes. There's so many. I've been blessed to have learned a lot of people's life. But one woman I can talk about in particular, who's the first person I thought of was Miss Brenda. And I'm with her a lot. I see her multiple times a week. I take her out to eat. She's great. She was put in foster care at five years old, never got adopted. Her foster family was extremely abusive. And basically it told her when she turned 18, because that's when government funding ends, that in order to stay here, you have to become the nanny. And so she'd become the nanny for her foster siblings and then their kids. And when the foster mom passed away, they told her, you have to go to Skid Row because you don't have family. Like you were never family to us.

And she spent her whole life with them. And I have a soft spot for foster kids because 50% of foster kids become homeless. So a lot of people see people are homeless and think that they made bad decisions. It's like they weren't born with a family. They were born displaced. So they don't have that same, you know, government funding ends at high school. How do you have an established group of friends to like, you know, support you in ways, you know, you might need. But seeing her where she hasn't had a life, Ms. Brenda's probably in her late 60s, early 70s. She won't tell us her

exact age, but I know it's around there. And she's never had a family. And I think that her perspective changed my whole idea of life because to this day, she hopes they're going to return. And to this day, she's like, I've done everything right by the books. I've never done anything wrong because I'm hoping that if my family ever comes back for me, they'll be proud of me. And so like this mustard seed of hope, this thing that she holds on to that allows her to look in such a positive light and a very scary and alone place to be that age and to be on Skid Row. And she's been living there for 12 years now. And her being with us, she just sees us as her family. But that light of, I've never had anyone, I've never been in a relationship, I dedicated my life to hoping someone accepted me, and it still never happened. And she's still

hopeful. She's still, she doesn't complain. She doesn't say anything about what she's been through. She's completely present in her day and hopes every day that they return, hopes every day that someone from her family will show up for her. And that just type of love, unconditional love that she has with people she hasn't even met, in hopes, just that idea of family. Sometimes we take family for granted.

Not everyone's born in one. And so that's one situation where there was nothing she could have done, even with foster kids, only 3% go to college. So they're so neglected that they're never helped with, like, basic skills in life. And so seeing someone like that where it's obvious that she was neglected and seeing her as an older woman where it's like people have empathy for kids, but they don't forget, like, that was the child you let go. Slipped through the cracks.

And to see how wonderful she is and, like, the way she, like, way she like with rules, like she's so she's just an angel. And she's so inspiring to me because that's such a scary place to live in life to feel like to not have anyone and and still show up for life every day and still be happy. And she's in a tent and she's living her golden years in a not golden situation. But you couldn't tell. You couldn't tell. Someone that has twice as much as her, a lot of people would not be able to hold that much light. And so she's someone that I'm super inspired by. And she's kind to everyone. And she cleans and sweeps Skid Row.

She treats it like it's her home. So two, three in the morning, she's up sweeping, trying to make everything clean, asking us to take out the trash. Like just, she's always trying to like be loving to people. And it's like, ugh, I can't. Every time I see her, I cry because she's so, like such a beautiful soul. I just needed one person, you know? And at the same time, it's pretty heartbreaking. Yeah. Oh, it's, it's a turn of smile every time. And you know? And at the same time, it's pretty heartbreaking. Yeah. Oh, it's a turn of smile every time. And you brought up something also, which is, you know, like when you come out of a background like that, I think there is, you know, we touched on it really briefly. There's people of means, I think, especially of privilege, people who have come from a

certain place in life. We'll look at tens of thousands of people living on Skid Row or homeless people in your neighborhood. We all have people around us. And we just make assumptions about why they're there, how they're there. In your experience, what are some of the big mistakes that so many people make

in just assuming why people end up in circumstances like this? Well, I think the biggest mistake we make is to assume, period. Because if we've never been anywhere near people that come from that walk of life, how can we even assume, right? Like, I always think that, like, we can assume when majority rules, right? Like, I don't want to go off the 10%, but like the majority,

a lot of people that I hear say to me often is they want to be homeless. And sometimes I think it's projecting like people's guilt for not doing anything. People saying to you, those other people want to be homeless. Yeah. People tell me all the time that have never been on that side or even communicated or had lunch with someone homeless, right? Like that's not, I guess, I guess it's a little unorthodox for others, not for me, but like for other people. I hear that a lot. A lot of people say to me, but isn't feeding them, enabling them? The perspective, there's these ideas. It's interesting how words warp like circumstance because people say that giving someone a free meal is enabling them, but they feel like paying for their children's college is not a handout. Like that doesn't enable someone or paying for their life. Like I just feel like these are all handouts. Like we're all given something, right, that we didn't necessarily work for in the sense of like a nine to five.

But this idea of like what handouts look like, like people will enable their family and people in their circle. But God forbid we treat someone like they're human that doesn't have a meal. I hear it often all the time. Or why would you give them organic food? And they'll treat it instead of it being like a right, like we should all have healthy food. Because my focus is like optimum health.

They're like, they see it as like from the marketing standpoint of like, what do you mean you give them food from Whole Foods? You don't think that's a bit much vegan options. And I'm just like, but what if someone wants to be vegetarian or they don't like meat? Like, why can't they have the same things we have? So I hear that a lot where people put people who are homeless or displaced in a different category than them. And it's interesting to me, that perspective, or I hear, aren't they all on drugs? And it's just like, the things I hear, I just, and I'm like, again, majority rule. So like, no, not all of them are on drugs. And are there drugs? Drugs are everywhere. I can take you to Bel Air and show you more drugs than Skid Row. I'll show you what drugs look like.

Like that's, you know, it's everywhere. So the things I hear, it's just, it seems very, it seems like a double standard where we can't be kind and do these things for other people, but we can have handouts, right? Like I always say, like someone told me I wouldn't give someone $5. It doesn't matter to me if someone needs something, I just want to meet their need. If I can help you, if this $5 helps you for the day, by all means, that's easier than giving my time the way I do. So it's actually easier for me to pay for it than it is to show up. So those are the days I have off when I get to just pay for something. But other people, like the perspective is like, no, they might use it for drugs. And it's like, even for us, it's not our, that's not our part. Our part is to just give. And if we're in an opportunity to give, to give and have no attachment to it and not worry about the, you did your part, you know? And just be liberated and free in that way. And so I hear that a lot.

I hear so many different things. But it's always from someone who's never, ever spoken to or been kind or giving to someone who's displaced. So it's interesting because I hear it a lot. More than you could ever imagine. So you come to LA, you come to Skid Row, you get exposed to all this, you start to realize, okay, this is a big problem, but it's also a massive, massive problem. And there are generally two responses, well, a couple of responses that one, pretend it doesn't exist because it's just too big. What could I ever do? I can't make a dent I just, and it's too painful to be around it. So I'm just

going to ignore it and pretend it doesn't exist. The other one is just like waking up and saying, what one thing can I do? And it sounds like that was what you started to do. Yeah. I, but I grew up that way, right? Like I grew up where, even though I'm not religious now, I grew up very religious, right? So in the church, my mom was super in the church, and I was cool with it. Like, that was how I got to spend time with her. So I was down to go. But I grew up where, to me, the best part of religion I was given was the concept of tithing.

And that was doing your part. Like, to me, that's what it means. It doesn't mean you have to give 10% to your church. It just, when I told my mom, like, I don't really want to die in church because it's not my thing. I go with you. And I had that open dialogue. She held that space for me. I'd say, I don't really like it, but I like it because you're there.

But, because I'd fall asleep and stuff. But I would, my mother said, I don't care what you do, but you better do your part. And that, like, resonated with me where I'd said, okay, well, I don't want to do it in church, but I want to go. I'll give service. I will feed every person that walks by me. She said, okay, whatever it is, just do your part. And like that stuck with me. That stuck with me from a very young age.

My whole life I have always done my part. And that it feels like now spiritual tiding. I always say that because I give my money, my time, food, my talents, the gifts I have, like everything I have, I do my part. And I make sure in every area of my life, I am giving to people who couldn't afford me, whatever that means. I'm making sure people have access because it's a privilege to even be in that space, you know? So that's where it came from. And I learned I had joy in it.

It made me so happy to be able to like take someone to lunch and just the amount of love that they gave. It didn't feel like I was giving. It felt like I was receiving because they were so kind to me. I just bought you a sandwich and a coffee and you're so happy. You're like hugging me. And you know, it's just like this kindness. It's just this beautiful thing that happens.

I always call it the exchange. I always say that I don't, it's either service or it's an exchange, but it's an exchange because we're both receiving something. And that's where it came from. I'd start it there, but I would just do it within my own money.

Like I always made a conscious effort of like 10% of everything that I made. I went to make sure, like I would literally separate it and I would just have like a little pot of the money that I would use for different things, like to feed people if someone needed like bus fare, like whatever I could do to help. And that's how it started. And then I wanted to do more. One of my friends had asked me, have you ever, and for every holiday, I would always cook things and bring home cooked meals for people. And one time a friend had went with me, and it changed their life. Because I had done this for 10 years before anyone knew. The only person who knew that I did this was my mom.

And because I didn't do it, like I did it because that was my service. So it was in quiet. She told me I didn't have to do it in church so I could do something else. And that was like my agreement. And then once my friend did it, I realized like I had a moment like, oh, other people want to do things like this because I just never shared it. You know, my best friend knew, but no one else. And then I started to say like, you know what, maybe I can volunteer, do more than just like cook and pay for food. Cause I was just always buying food and like, you know, I was like, maybe I can do more.

And when I got into the nonprofit world, I just, it was terrible. Like I just had, it wasn't about helping people. It was about money. It was, it was just corrupt. And it was heartbreaking. It was heartbreaking to see that people were in numbers and their problem was about getting rich, that people were becoming wealthy off of someone else and suffering. And that was hard to see because I was just trying to help and volunteer. And when I thought of charity, when I thought of nonprofits, I thought it was this great thing, like people dedicating their life to service. But I learned like for me, my experience, charity became a dirty word. Like I didn't see it the same. And I was like, no. And that's when I had my impulsive decision. Like I don't know anything about this world. I know how to love people. And to me, that was more valuable because that's what was missing. Because a hundred years, Skid Row, if you would

give me a hundred years in funding, it would would never happen it would be solved in 50 years and that's like the god to honest truth because it's really about creating spaces of love and healing and empowerment for people and the resources to get out of their circumstance and that's not difficult to do it's just no one's doing their part and so that completely changed my perspective and I started with love and then I started to figure out what nonprofits look like. But the love to me was the most, that was the gold. Yeah. So how do you go from there to saying, okay, I'm going to start my own thing?

And then also how do you say to yourself, okay, so if this is what nonprofits look like, or this has been at least my experience, granted there's a huge spectrum of nonprofits and they're all run very differently. But like, how do you go into that space and say, okay, I'm going to start something myself, but I'm going to do it differently. Well, I was volunteering at a nonprofit. They had just gotten a huge multimillion dollar donation and they had an event that was only going to cost like $2,500, $2,800. And they were going to cancel it.

And it was a drug program graduation. Anyone that had been like clean for a year, they do a celebration. And that was the first thing they decided to cut. And I'm like, and I explained at the time and, you know, it wasn't my place, but I was like, you can't do this to people. If they were drug addicts and they've been clean for a year, they have gone a year for that moment. That moment is their recognition for what they've done. You're going to have people relapse. Like that's the only thing that they they're looking forward to. And so they were like, they, they had no heart towards it. They were like, we have to cut the foot. And I'm, so I was like, you know what,

how much is it going to cost me and my friends will, will pay for it. And I called all my friends. I was like, Hey, I need donations because we need to do this because I can't let them cut this program. I wasn't even in the nonprofit world. I'm a volunteer showing up, trying to give money to a multimillion dollar nonprofit because they wanted to cut something so valuable. And, um, long story short, I ended up doing it with my friends. I asked them to come out and help me. And I got there. I made all this food. I did all this stuff, the nonprofit, the workers, everyone, no one cared about the people. And I was crying the whole time I was serving because I was just so heartbroken that people were treated this way. I didn't understand it because I dealt with people one-on-one.

I dealt with so many people having a personal relationship, not a third party. And then seeing that world, I'm like, this is not, this isn't it. And so that day, it was impulsive. It was literally, and it came from like my hurt. Things don't hurt unless it's ruined. It's coming from like a very deep place. And I was serving. I was like, no, I'm going to create my own. Like I wasn't trying to be in the nonprofit. I didn't even think about it. I was trying to be a super volunteer. That's what I wanted to be and make sure all my time I would always give. But I impulsively said, again, I always say it. I did not know anything about the nonprofit world, but I know how to love people.

And I said, I'll figure it out. There's nothing in this world I can't figure out. And so I wasn't intimidated by it because my need to help was way bigger than my insecurities. And so I just called friends and said, hey, I want to do vegan pizza and cold pressed juice. That was our first day. And they're like, well, how much are you trying to do? I'm like, let's feed 500 people. Like, I just threw a number out there.

I didn't know what we were going to do. And I was like, 500 people, vegan pizza, cold pressed juice. Let's make it happen. And let's just show up on Skid Row. Word got around. And I'm thinking maybe a couple friends would show up. I had over 100 people show up. Wow, that first time.

First day. And I was so confused because, and then everyone was so excited. Like we ran out of pizza. They were like, let's buy more pizza. Like, let's figure it out. Like I had seen everyone was so excited to do it. And that was the first moment I was like, oh my God, I just brought two different worlds. You know, I have like models and photographers and actors coming out. It was just like random. And I'm like,

what is happening? But there was so much love there. It was just like the industry had come out to Skid Row and there was just love. You could just see it, but it was a foundation that I had set. And I was aware of that. I was aware of me setting the tone of what that looked like. And that relationship happened because I had been friends to both. So they trusted each other. And that's what was different. And I was like, I had seen it from all the nonprofits I'd been to, all the beautiful, fancy buildings.

We're out on the street. We're not even in a building. We're out on the street. And the amount of love that I had seen, I just was overwhelmed because I was like, there's something here and it's powerful. And I can feel the presence of something divine. I felt it. And I was like, wow, this is like really cool. I felt like I opened like Pandora's box or cracked the Da Vinci code. I don't know, but it was something really amazing. And we did the event. I was full of love. My heart felt like it was going to burst.

And then they were like, when are we doing it again? And I didn't think about again yet because I was just trying to get through that day. And I'm like, okay, 500 more meals next month. Let's try it again next month. And that's how it started. And then so we started with doing these monthly parties. We called them like the Love Without Reason block parties. And so we started just showing up and taking over spaces and bringing love. And then a lot of different people had different ideas that they wanted to

do. Or it's like, I was sitting back and like, I have friends serving food and I'm like, you're a yogi. How cool would it be for you to give them a yoga class? You're a hairstylist. How amazing would it be if we could help with just their maintenance? And I started to look at people's gifts and approaching them about that. Like, I don't need you to serve a plate. I need you to give the part of you that no one can afford here. And that's how it became something really amazing because I started to also look at people's gifts and how the people in Skid Row could benefit from that. And I would help them in that empowerment, like all of its affection and love and that empowerment changed things too. And so I just started to do that one by one, creating relationships

and chipping away at different gifts that I felt like we could use. And to me, it was all about mind, body, spirit, loneliness. Like I felt like once I got those things aligned in myself, there was nothing I couldn't accomplish or overcome. And these people are 10 times more resilient and powerful than me. If I give it to them, they'll take over everything. And that I know. I can see it. It's powerful. So I just felt like, oh, if I can even be a resource to do that,

I would have lived a good life. You know what the difference between me and you is? You're going to die. Don't shoot him. We need him. Y'all need a pilot. Flight Risk. The Apple Watch Series 10 is here. It has the biggest display ever. It's also the thinnest Apple Watch ever, making it even more comfortable on your wrist, whether you're running, swimming, or sleeping. And it's the fastest-charging Apple Watch,

getting you eight hours of charge in just 15 minutes. The Apple Watch Series X, available for the first time in glossy jet black aluminum. Compared to previous generations, iPhone XS or later required, charge time and actual results will vary. I mean, it's interesting because you're talking about, you know, I think a lot of the approaches are,

well, let's go in there and let's talk about job training, Let's talk about skills. Let's talk about getting the back into the workforce and, they're human. Again, like they are seen, they're heard, they're appreciated, they're loved and see what happens when you do that. It's interesting. It's like, I think a lot of more traditional approaches are like, well, but that's not measurable. It's not quantifiable. And yet those are the things that so often create the internal shifts that lead to sustained change. But I think a lot of traditional approaches to helping don't recognize that. It's sort of like this, well, that's kind of the window dressing rather than that is turning something back on from the inside out so that maybe they take the steps to do those other things.

The interesting part is, like you said, more traditional things. When I look at tradition, I look at Skid Row has been doing the same thing for 100 years and it's gotten worse. It's safe to say it doesn't work. We have 100 years to show of the same thing being ineffective and worsening. So that's why I've been okay with dismantling everything that's been because it hasn't worked. We have the data, the numbers to prove it. It's gotten worse. Homelessness went up 23% for kids, 64%. It's not working. This is bigger

than job training. No one will participate and be a healthy part of society if they're broken. I don't care who you are, whether you're homeless or housed. None of us do well broken. We can have a Fortune 500 job if we're broken. I can show you where we are not being effective. We all need to be loved and nourished and helped. This is just something obvious and extreme that you can see it, but we all need that. And that's what I was focused on, which is to save themselves. This isn't a savior complex. Like I'm not saving anyone. I'm creating spaces and we're allowing things to exist within

them. And that's all I'm doing. And I'm allowing love to mend everything. And it's done that. And I haven't had to tell anyone, find a job, do these things because that love has inspired them to do so much more. And I've seen it. They've decided, oh, I want to be off the street. I've had people stop doing drugs, not because I ever said it to them. That's not a part of our model. I'm not here to tell any adult what they should or shouldn't do. I'm here to bring love and allow whatever to be birthed out of that.

And I've seen people literally quit drugs, fix their addictions because they were just looking for a love and acceptance to be seen and not judged. If you give someone that space, they'll always do right by you. And they know that, especially when it comes to drugs, things like that. When I talk to people, I tell them all the time, I love you so much. If this is what you decide to do, I respect everything you do. But one day you're going to love yourself enough that you're not even going to want it. And that's what I tell them. One day, it's going to gross you out. And then they laugh because I give them space. I give them space to be whoever they are. Yeah. It seems like you also, I mean, one of your approaches is you don't go

into any conversation assuming that you're any different than anybody else. You speak to everyone, whether it is, like you said, somebody from Bel Air or somebody from Skid Row, as your equal. And it's like we are sort of like all part of the same fabric and circumstance may be different, but that doesn't mean that you are different in my eyes in terms of what your worth is. No, we are different.

We were all, like we're all born the same exact, we come into this world the same way. So it's like, now what happens in between that has to do with this space, but it has nothing to do with spirituality at all. Like we are made of the same thing. And so I was raised that way. My mother was that way with us where we are, there was no difference. There was no higher. It was never that even with me, I would try and tell my mom, I'm your favorite. And she'd be like, no, I love everyone the same. And I'd be like, no, mom. I would. I would like sign everything. Love your favorite. I would always push that because she was always everyone. And the thing is, even though I knew I was her favorite because it was an energy thing because of our soul ties, but she would never say it because she didn't see anyone

different. She treated us the same i had no special treatment even though i know like i know in my heart i could feel it but there was no difference and that to me is like it should be that way it doesn't matter who you are it's i mean if we're occupying space together it doesn't matter where i come from where you come from we're in the same place at the same time what does does that mean? We're in the same room. What does that mean? So at this point, your organization, share the name of your organization. Oh, my organization's called Lunch On Me.

You should probably make sure it's out there. Yes, Lunch On Me. We'll certainly link to it in the show notes. And our slogan is love without reason. Love it. You're feeding, last number I saw, it was like 10,000 people a month. 10,000 people a month. Which is pretty incredible. And it's not, it is the monthly parties, but also you have people who are going out every day on the street, six days a week, seven days a week, bringing food.

Six days, yeah. Which is pretty powerful. It takes a lot of time, takes a lot of energy, and you have that and you give it freely. It also costs money to do it. And while you certainly have people contributing to this, you also have to sustain yourself in the world. So how does that happen? It's so interesting because I feel like the way everything came, I feel like it was divine timing. I'm an art director. I have a clothing brand. I manufacture clothes. I do content creating, photography, anything in art. Thank God I've been blessed to be okay at enough for people to

want me to, to help create things for them. But that's what I do because I didn't want to take money from this. Like this was a grassroots project that I started that was about distributing and using my resources so that other people could benefit from them. Like this was my tidy and this was like, this is my passion. This is my heart. Like I had no idea that it would turn into this, but it worked out perfect because I don't have to work for anyone contractually. I get contracted out to do like designs and to manufacture and that's something I can do from any place. It allows me to travel. It allows me to do everything. And then we have a solid team of five people that literally have been holding it down with us. It's five of us that are, you know, we're small, but we do mighty things.

Yeah. Are they involved in both worlds or just in the sort of like the art and the creative manufacturing? Three of the people that work with my actual business, they do that with me. And then we all do this as our like passion project. So like all of our designs and stuff, like we design everything that do that with me. And then we all do this as our like passion project. So like all of our designs and stuff, like we design everything that for Lunch On Me. So I also have like a merch. We just started launching more merch for Lunch On Me. So I'm starting design capsule collections for Lunch On Me where 100% of the proceeds go directly to that. So now I'm doing that as well, which is really cool. And it's cool too, because as wellness has happened,

I've gotten more contracts with people who need, like, T-shirts and branding and anything from, like, their websites to any tangible goods, whether it's flyers or, you know, booklets, pamphlets, things like that. So it's really cool because I'm able to do art, be an artist, live off my art, and still make sure 10,000 people have food. Yeah, that's amazing. It's kind of cool. And I mean, just looking at your body language as you're talking about that too, it's not like, oh, I'm doing this because it sustains me and it pays the bills and it lets me go do this thing.

You're alive from that too. Like you're clear that your body language is like, yes, I love the creative process too. I love it. And I love serving and being able to feed. I do. It's like these two things come together. I love it because I'm just,

I'm an all or nothing person. I can't do things I don't care about. And I always believe that if it's about money, God leaves the room. And I feel like everything I do, that's always the last thing. I'm not even worried about that part. And I think that's why God's in every room that I walk in because that's what I focus on. And it makes me so happy. To be able to just create and make art and make things pretty, like I get to make things pretty. And that makes me excited. Whether it's branding for people or I'm making a pretty plate for someone on Skid Row, I just like to make things aesthetically beautiful. And so it does.

No, it makes me so happy. That's why I feel like so blessed. I'm not, you know, my goal wasn't to like, I'm not reaching for something crazy. I'm just being. And I'm allowing it to be what it will be and sending in my purpose and sharing that. And I think that's the most important part is like the higher I go up, the more I will give and help and the more resources I can give to others. And so that is just my goal. Like I am, I am living a good life. I am so happy with my life.

I'm blessed because I'm helping others. I am being used and using my whole day and uplifting others and then enjoying what I love to do. And I always tell people I don't have hobbies because people always ask, what's your hobby? And I'm like, I'm so in love with what I do. I don't need anything else. There isn't anything I'm trying to escape from there's anything like I love it I can work 16 hours a day and be fine because I love the process I love every part of it like I'm just I just will not do anything that doesn't pull at my heart I cannot do anything for money that's just not it's not in my being

never has been never will be I can't do it. I have been a struggling artist. I know what that looks like. I had to work to be in the space I was in, but I wouldn't settle either. I would rather starve than do something I didn't want to do. And that's just the way I've always been. I can't help it. And I think it's paid off.

It's my sacrifice. And the fact that I don't have to take a paycheck from Lunch On Me, I don't have to, it's such a cool place. I just feel like I was provided for because I was doing something that had nothing to do with me. And I think that's why my life was taken care of. And I watched that shift. I watched even making choices where I was doing so well and I was having to make decisions based off of money. And then I didn't like it anymore. You know, I was like, oh, this isn't really what I want to do when it's about that. Like I have to be creative. I have to expand in that way. And again, once I started to say,

how can I help other people? Then all of a sudden I started getting more jobs and more things and more opportunities just started opening up just off of me opening up my heart to give and not have an end result. Like I didn't know that would be the byproduct of it until I actually did it. And I was like, oh, wow, there's really something to that. Like I can't take away the fact that every time I do something, it comes back tenfold. Every time I give. And that's why I don't feel that there's a shortage. I feel like a lot of people live as though things aren't infinite. Like there's literally, you know, a timestamp or amount. It's almost like a scarcity complex. I don't have that. Like I believe in abundance because I look at the ocean, I look at the moon, I look at just what

we've been able to create since being here. And it looks like something infinite. And I just focus on tapping into that. You did something recently, and I guess it's sort of as we tape this, it's kind of like in post-production, which I'm kind of fascinated by also, which is there was something inside of you that said, I can tell people about what's going on. I can tell people about our good work. I can tell people about all these amazing human beings and good people who are living in really tough circumstances, but it's not going to be the same thing as if I show them. Some people come down and help you out. Some people see it in person. Some people become involved and keep coming back. But there's a universe of people who could show up to help or contribute or help your organization that don't get it. So you did something unusual to sort of like show them. Yes. It was interesting because even the concept and idea had come in my meditation and I had seen seven. I kept seeing sevens and I'm like, oh, why did I see sevens? I always see sevens,

but it was like, it kept coming like seven days. And I was like, oh, okay. So husbands all film for seven days on Skid Row. And then in my meditation, I kept hearing, no, you're going to live there. You're going to stay there. And I'm like, what? And I kept like, I'm like, there's no way. In meditation, I'm getting the same thing to be in a tent. I'm seeing the same vision. And I'm like, okay. I have very guided dialogue with spirit, whatever that means to whoever. But for me, there's some type of infinite knowledge I tap into and I plug into that surpasses logic and makes me look very smart and very cool moments. But it's definitely not me. It's just something I'm plugging into. It's like the source, you know?

And I kept seeing it. I didn't know what it meant, but I knew I had to show up and I would stay on Skid Row. And it was the ultimate test because I love being there. I love being with the people. I didn't know what to expect being in a tent. I've been feeding for 15 years. That has taken my service and my understanding and concept to a level that I didn't even know was attainable. And I stayed on Skid Row in a tent.

I stayed there for 43 days, which was actually seven. And it was four or three in numerology, 43 is seven. And I didn't know it was 43. I was preparing myself for seven days and I ended up staying for 43. And I shot my experience. And I don't know what people believe in. I believe in there's something that's all encompassing, whether I like using the word God because it's just familiar to me, but it could be universal, divine. There's just something to me that's orchestrating things that's beyond my knowledge. And whatever that is, walked with me for 43 days. And what I experienced, what I had seen, it is such an honor to have it on film because no one would have believed what I seen

in those 43 days. No one would have believed the amount of miracles, the amount of breakthroughs, the amount of space I was able to hold for people people to release, to let go, to feel everything that they had suppressed so that they could feel something else. And oh my God, I just can't wait till it comes out because it is, I mean, it shifted me. I changed in that experience. I can't imagine what it could do for others. And I thought it would be a great gift because sometimes a lot of people in this world are led by fear. And that's very obvious in decisions that are made on a large scale. And I feel like this hopefully will open up a dialogue and understanding to a whole nother life because there's nothing like it. To live that type of life, oh, everyone has a book inside of them

that's down there, what they've gone through. And to be able to share stories. And for people in Skid Row, it's not a place that people are comfortable with filming. People in Skid Row don't like to film because it's vulnerable. You're going through something and then a camera's pointing at you. But to see them embrace it, to know that, like, to trust me with their stories, and their pain, and their secrets, and that we would show the world who they truly are, to be able to show how they see themselves, and for it to be expressed, it's like, it's an honor. I am so grateful to be chosen for that project, period. Because I was chosen for that and I just was obedient in what I understood to do my assignment.

But it is powerful beyond measure. Nothing I've ever seen like this, nothing. What I felt in 43 days, what I experienced. I mean, the first week there were 15 overdoses. 15 people died that first week there. It was hard. It wasn't a walk in the park, but it was true, and it was life, and it was real. And I got to see as much pain as I got to see love and light.

And that balance, just, it's interesting. I got to see people who want to help and assist in that area, and I've seen people who are part of the problem. So it's beautiful because I think it will definitely open a new perspective for so many people to see what I feel Skid Row really looks like because this documentary feels like a love letter to me, to them. A love letter to Skid Row doesn't feel like the things I've seen that have been captured in homeless communities and areas. Yeah. How does that experience change or does it change

the way that you choose to serve moving forward? It changes. Yes. It gives me a whole new respect because I feel very, very centered and grounded in my own spiritual practices and my own disciplines. I'm extremely disciplined. Like I feel like I don't know if I have too many gifts, but I think discipline is one of them. And I feel very centered. And to be in a space, for them to hold it together the way they do in that energy, they don't feel human. Because with all of my practices, with all of my centeredness, with the access I have to whatever I need to be able to be in a good space, mind, body, soul, you know? There were moments where my soul could not rest. To know that two, three, four in the morning, cops, gunshots, the sounds, like I've never been

in a space where there is no peace. It's so like to find peace there, you have to have ascendant. You have to be some type of ascendant master because I couldn't find peace. There were days where energetically it was so much. I just was throwing up energetically. It was so much for the soul to endure. And then also on top of that, you can't be guarded because you're exposed. The only guard you have is canvas tent. Like you're exposed. You have to be out on the streets. Like it is the most, you feel so vulnerable.

You're, it, I definitely think it opened something in my heart chakra on a whole nother level that I didn't get to choose. So I've seen how it's almost like people are broken into submission because you don't have a choice. That you don't. And I felt it. I dealt with it. I changed. And my respect for people down there, they're more evolved than we are. And I see how they got there. Because I feel like Skid Row is a place that someone, some divine being sends prophets for training because it's like a boot camp. It is like a soul training. And I felt it and I went through it. And thank God I survived because it was tough.

But I wouldn't have wanted it any other way because I learned so much and I expanded in my own compassion towards people. And I've always felt that way, but then it also showed me there's ways to steepen. Never get comfortable. You can go deeper and be okay with that and be comfortable with that. And to me, it inspired me to want to go further and to do more and to not feel like I have to be a witness, but I can get into it. And that's not for everyone, but I feel like for my calling and my space, I can get down to the deepest places. I can go to the trenches and I could survive because of where my soul has been. And it is the appreciation of life.

My first night in my bed after 43 days, you couldn't have told you and how acclimated you get so quick to be so uncomfortable. I had to leave. In between filming, I had done, like I had some panelist discussions I had signed up for. There was one called Maricada Sagado, and I was doing it with Healthy-ish, which is like the healthy magazine for Bono Batik, that whole thing. Imagine going from Skid Row, living in a tent. Then I had to go to a retreat in Malibu for the day, only one day. I just changed my clothes because I wore the same outfit for 43 days. I went there with nothing, no money, anything.

I went to live like if my life changed tomorrow, what would that look like and how would I survive? So I went through the whole notion. It was not some beautiful experience. It was beautiful, but it wasn't pretty and soft and fluffy. I was down there with them. I felt so out of place in the wellness world, and that's like my other world. But just being down there for those 43 days, I got acclimated. I didn't realize how much noise, because there's never a silence on Skid Row.

There's always sounds. There's always so much vibration going on. I went from that to the Malibu Hills where everything's quiet. I felt my heart. I could hear the sound of my heart because I wasn't used to being out there. And when I was on the panel, I was shaking

and I had to tell everyone, I'm sorry, guys, forgive me, but I am so uneasy because I'm trying to adjust from being on Skid Row. I came from Skid Row to here to be with you today and I can't even keep it together. So forgive me for whatever happens. I let it be what it was, but I felt so insane. So I understood there were moments where I take people off of Skid Row and they get nervous. They go into restaurants, they get scared because people stare at them and treat them differently. And you realize how vulnerable they are to even

be in that space where they show up. It made me cry now when I see that they leave and knowing what they have to go through, but they want to be with you and spend time with you, that they'll just do it. It changed me because it makes you so vulnerable and you feel so out of place. I went into a frame store to ask about frames. I forgot how I looked because I had been sitting on Skid Row. It's like, I'm filming and I'm experiencing this, but I'm not homeless, right? Like I'm experiencing 43 days of homelessness, but I have a place to stay. And I went into a business and the woman called the cops on me. She thought I was homeless, right? Even though like my clothes might've been dirty, but there are things that you can tell that, yes, I'm homeless for 43 days, but I'm not

established in homelessness. And how I was treated, like my heart, first of all, I was upset because I'm like, why is she yelling at me? Like I've never gone into a store and I'm just yelled at. And so I was thrown off because that's privilege, right? Like that's privilege that I was in a space where no one would look at me like I'm part of a problem. But to go into that space, this woman yelled at me and said, what are you doing in my store? And I literally like my only answer was like, I'm looking at frames. Like I didn't understand because I was so confused. And then I had to realize our camera guy, he looked at me, had to whisper to me. He's like, she thinks you're actually homeless. And in that moment, I wanted to guide with ego and pride and bring her all the way back to reality. But I didn't. I decided to take it because I watched

them do it all the time. Every time they get treated that way, nine times out of 10, they just walk away and just avoid it. And that's like, ugh. And I wonder how they have so much humility, how they have so much, because they just take it. And I took it, and it hurt me so much. And I realized, like, that changed my empathy on another level because I always was disappointed when people would treat people who are homeless differently or not have patience because they don't understand what they go through. But to see that and have an experience like that, it made me feel insecure. That one experience, I didn't want to go to anywhere else for the 43 days. Like, I wanted to stay in the area. After that, I was like, oh, no, I can't walk a block off of Skid Row

because I don't want that experience to happen again. Like, I can't take too many of those because of that energy that was just pretty. And she called the cops on me. Like, I literally had to leave and I was doing nothing. And to even feel that like harassment, it was just, it was shifting. It made me more empathetic towards people. And like when I see someone yelling in the street, honestly, what they have to endure, people should be grateful that's all they're doing. And that's the truth. Because the amount of energy and judgment and pain that they endure on a daily basis and that's all they do, like they are suffering well.

I'm back to that space again. They are suffering well. And it made me see through an experience where I had to get to that space. And that is not easy to do. I don't suffer too well at all. Yeah. I mean, it's interesting because from the outside looking in, it's like, oh, Skid Row, that's an unsafe place to be. But it sounds like what you're describing is from the

inside looking out. And again, this is you for 43 days, but we're talking about people who have lived there very often for years and years. That outside of that area is the unsafe space. Oh, completely. Because it's like, This is the place where everyone sort of like, this is where you feel like it's okay. And the moment you step out, which creates a whole nother social dynamic, which dissuades people from ever considering what would it be like to actually be outside of here.

Massively oversimplifying the psychology of it. But it must've been profound, eye-opening, moving for you to actually sort of having had a relationship with so many of these amazing people for so many years, especially as you deepen into your service and your practice in your life. If I offer up the phrase to live a good life, what comes up? Oh my God, to live a good life. The first thing I think of is to live. So many people are just surviving, right? Day to day. But when I think of to live a good life, it's honoring the hours we're given because that's all we know, right? We know the hour. And a lot of times when I'm living a good life, I'm using my days like they're not promised and I'm being present every moment I can.

And I'm expressing my gratitude through my actions. And that to me is when you've lived a good life. Thank you. Thank you so much for listening. And thanks also to our fantastic sponsors who help make this show possible. You can check them out in the links we have included in today's show notes. And while you're at it, if you've ever asked yourself, what should I do with my life? We have created a really cool online assessment that will help you discover the source code

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