Good Life Project - On Darkness: We Need to Talk.

Episode Date: May 25, 2017

Chris Cornell's soaring vocals served as the soundtrack to a moment in my life. The whole Seattle grunge scene came alive at a time when I yearned for a sound that felt more raw and real.Fronting the bands Soundgarden, Audioslave and Temple of the Dog, Cornell's voice connected on the most visceral level. So, when the news landed of his suicide last week, it hit me, as it did so many others. In part, because of the loss of such a talent. But, in a much larger part because of the loss of someone who seemed to have so much to live for. So many songs still to sing, a family man and artist.Just a few months earlier, he took the stage at the Beacon Theatre in NYC to sing a duet with his daughter, a few blocks from where I live. It was a beautiful moment. There are conflicting reports about what might've led to him take his life, but truth is, that's not what this conversation is really about.This is about something bigger. The darkness that so many seem to struggle with. Good people. Smart people. Gifted people. Loving people. Kind people. Big-hearted people. Maybe it's just my lens, but it seems to touch down with alarming frequency, too, in the lives of those devoted creating an unending stream of somethings from nothing. Artists, performers, entrepreneurs and other creators. I've seen so much suffering ride along with a life fueled by the yearning to create.While much multi-disciplinary work is being done to help, anxiety, depression and other conditions remain an ever-present weight for millions. That, alone, is so hard. Then, layer on top of it a certain stigma that seems never to go away, a fear of being judged, rejected, cast-out that compounds the problem by making it harder to share what you're living with. It's easy to see how hard it might feel to reach out for help.I don't profess to know the darkness that happens in anyone's head that might lead them to choose death over life. I don't know the blend of circumstance, struggle, substance or more that would push any one person to that point. But I do know, it's time to remove the stigma around mental health challenges. To create a culture that says, "no matter what you may be feeling, you are human, you are worthy, you are valued. It's okay to reach out to someone you know, someone you love, or someone anonymous who is qualified to help you and will not judge, but rather listen and help."That's the bigger point of today's Riff. To say, if something's weighing you down, get help. There is no shame. If anyone listening or reading is in that place of struggle, reach out to someone who knows you and can help you. And, if you don't have someone, here are two numbers to call that can help.National Suicide Prevention Lifeline: 1-800-273-8255US Suicide Hotline [phone]With love & gratitude,Jonathan Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Hey there, it's Jonathan with this week's Good Life Project riff. So, I wasn't actually planning on going here. This isn't what I was planning on talking about today. But I feel like I can't not talk about it. As I sit here and record this, there's an odd coincidence of this happening to be Mental Health Awareness Month, which is in May and has been in the United States for a whole bunch of decades. And a couple of days ago, we got the news that Chris Cornell was kind of the lead guy in a band called Soundgarden. It was also sort of like this towering, when I was coming up, he was one of the big voices, the four octave range in the Seattle grunge scene when that kind of just exploded and took over the world of music.

And that was a time where I love music. I always have. And there's something about that whole scene, like Soundgarden, Nirvana, Pearl Jam. There was something about that music that was so raw and so real. And it resonated so deeply, so profoundly with me. And that kind of defined a window of my life. That was the soundtrack for A Window of My Life. I can remember where I was when I heard certain songs. I remember the first time I heard Chris taking the lead singing Black Hole of Sona.

Just mind blown. And so to hear that he took his life, which, and I guess those are the early reports are that he took his life. It was suicide. I guess there's nothing definitive, but that's what, you know, has been out there in the news. It really made me, it made me pause. Chris was also 52. I'm 51. So, you know, we're about the same age. And I took a quick look online and,

and stumbled pretty quickly over a video that someone had filmed in the crowd with Chris. And, and the video was actually shot at the Beacon Theater. And the Beacon is literally about four blocks from where I live in New York City. It's kind of a small local theater where acts come. And Chris was playing on stage there just last year, and he invited a young girl up on stage to come sing with him, and that was actually his daughter, who looks like she's a similar age to my daughter. And her name is Toni.

And Chris had his acoustic guitar. And together they played, well, he played and they sang Bob Marley's Redemption Song, which also happens to be one of my favorite songs. And, you know, just to see them together on stage and clearly just astonishing depth of connection and love. And to know that months later, something was going on in his mind that so tortured him that he felt like the option that he had, the only option that he had was the one that would remove him, not just from the life of the public and his family, that little girl, that girl,

knowing that we were similar age, my daughter's a similar age, it just really rattled me. And I've been having conversations lately about depression, which Chris is kind of well-known., he struggled with on and off for many years. And how it is so prevalent, especially in the world of creatives, performing artists, artists, and entrepreneurs, and founders, people who are moved to create something from nothing in the world.

There seems to be a stunningly high level of suffering that goes along with that process. And tremendous levels of sustained unknowing and uncertainty. You know, you step into Joseph Campbell's famed abyss, and you live there, sometimes for your entire career, because that's the place where you find your treasure. And living in that place for so many people is a brutally, brutally hard experience. And some people find ways to be okay with this. Some people find people around them to support them and navigate their way through. Some people create practices, self-care practices,

set up circuit breakers in their lives, buffers that let them know when things aren't going right. Sometimes the struggles are triggered by external circumstances, things that happen outside of us that we don't quite know how to deal with. Sometimes it's internal. Sometimes it's partly the way that we're wired and we come onto the planet. But when I think about the voices, the beauty, the gifts, the grace, the art, the illumination, the emotion, the songs in so many people's hearts, the creations in so many people's minds that don't have a chance to be in the world anymore. The hugs, the emotion, the connection. It really makes you stop and think, you know, we tend not to talk about stuff like

this. You know, this is called a good life project. We're supposed to talk about good lives, good stuff. The world of psychiatry and psychology for for the better part of its history, was built to deal with people who were, quote, sick and try and get them back to baseline and didn't really concern itself with baseline to flourishing. And over the last 25 years or so, there's been a tremendous focus in this field of positive psychology, which is really taking people from baseline to flourishing. And while depression and anxiety and mental health struggles have been a part of the human condition for so long, there is still not enough conversation about it. There's still not enough attention given to it. There is still, to this day, there is still stigma that just shouldn't be there.

Nobody who's suffering should ever feel for a moment that reaching out for help is something they'll be judged for, is something that is not okay? I don't have answers. I'm not a mental health professional. But I think we're in a moment where part of living a good life is knowing that you can be vulnerable in your time of greatest need and that there will be people there to help you, to hold you without judgment and resources there for you to help you find your way from whatever level of darkness you may be in back into a lighter place.

And that the place that you may be in right now does not have to be the place that defines the rest of your existence on the planet. And that the only escape is not ending it, but reaching out. So when Chris and his daughter Toni stepped on stage at the Beacon and they sang that beautiful duet, Bob Marley's Redemption Song. And there's a line from that, the middle of the song. It's, emancipate yourselves from mental slavery.

None but ourselves can free our minds. And, yeah, none but ourselves can free our minds, but we need to know that when we take steps to free our minds, we will not be judged. So I know this isn't a normal riff for me, but I kind of felt like this is something we need to talk about, that it's a conversation we don't have because we try and keep everything all upbeat. And life is the full spectrum of emotion. Some of us experience that more deeply and on a more sustained basis, sometimes the highest highs and sometimes the lowest lows.

And we should have more conversations about what happens and the alternatives and bring the lowest lows and those experiences out of the shadows and into the mainstream so that people can seek and find help without fear of being judged. That's what I'm thinking about this week. I'm sure I'll be back next week with something a little more upbeat. But it's just really weighing on my mind this week. And the coincidence that it also happens to be sort of mental health month. It felt like the right time to have a conversation about it. If you know somebody that is hurting right now, if you are hurting right now,

reach out for help. Find somebody qualified to help you. Reach out to hotline numbers. Reach out to hotline numbers. Reach out to qualified health care professionals. We will include telephone number for outreach in the show notes if you don't know anybody or if you don't have a telephone number to call. Take the first step. And if you know people who are close to you, who you are concerned,

maybe going through some dark times and you don't know what to do, maybe just step number one is to let them know, hey, if you're struggling with something, you can talk to me. I'm not going. If you feel like this is a conversation that you need to have with other people or that needs to be shared, as always, share this with those you feel are in a place where it would be valuable. I'm Jonathan Fields, signing off for Good Life Project.