Good Life Project - The Power of Delight

Episode Date: December 2, 2015

We spend so much time trying to "acquire" people and things.In business, we talk about "acquiring a customer," like they're a commodity we're buying at the corner store and we even associate a price with each new person.In our personal lives, we often do the same, thinking about the effort it takes to find and start a relationship with a new friend, lover or partner, yet it feels wrong to call that friend or lover or partner an "acquisition," so we come up with gentler words to remind ourselves no human actually gets to acquire or possess another human.We use that word, acquisition, by the way, because it deludes us into believing "once we've got it, it's ours for life." Hahaha! So, silly!We all know, that's not even close to reality. We don't own anyone. Not for life, not for a year, a month, an hour or a moment. We are gifted with their presence, their investment of love and energy and time and more. And that gift is something that must be nurtured, grown, tended over time or else it goes away, and so do they.We have an opportunity to continue to invest in not only the process of discovery, but the continuing process of deepening and delight. Delight, in fact, is where the greatest magic happens and it's all too often completely ignored once you're past the courting stages.What if, instead of focusing maniacally on finding and starting relationships, then letting them coast into oblivion, we spent equal if not more energy on delighting those we bring into our orbit once they're here.That's what we're talking about on this week's short and sweet GLP Riff. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

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We've been compromised. The pilot's a hitman. I knew you were going to be fun. January 24th. Tell me how to fly this thing. Mark Wahlberg. You know what the difference between me and you is? You're going to die. This week's Good Life Project riff is on the power of delight. So here's my question for you. This week's Good Life Project riff is on the power of delight. So here's my question for you. What if businesses are going about growth all wrong? That includes you if you're a private practice professional

or somebody who just wants to build something cool. So there's an interesting thing that happens with a lot of organizations. They spend every waking hour and substantial line items of their budgets on, quote, customer acquisition. And then once a, quote, prospect becomes a customer, they all but forget about them. The common ethic, in fact, is to do the minimum necessary to keep an existing customer from leaving. That's where the sad state of affairs bar has pretty much been set in a lot of the business world. It's pretty messed up, to be honest.

You know, not just from a feeling good about what you're doing and how you're treating others standpoint, but also it's pretty horrible for the bottom line too when you really look at things over time. Analyzing large amounts of data, a friend of mine a couple years back was able to determine that 70 to 80% of new customers were generated not by formal acquisition and

marketing initiatives, but by word of mouth from the 5% of existing customers who were the most delighted with the product or service that was being offered. So newsflash, when you blow people's minds in unexpected ways on a consistent basis, give them more than they expected. And check this out, actually treat them like you'd want your mom treated, assuming you love your moms. Guess what happens? They can't shut up about you. They can't shut up about what you do, what you're creating. And when they tell someone exactly what you'd say in an advertisement, it carries about a thousand percent more credibility. I've tried to take this approach in the way that I built my living, my career, and a number of companies a number of times over. And it's amazing how well it works

and how much more fun it is building businesses based not just on the drive to acquire, not just on a drive to make it all about how much money, how can I optimize revenue, but on the quest to delight. So in a recently launched venture that you guys are listening to right now, it's funny, I consider this still recently launched in Good Life Project, we literally have baked delight into our core set of ethics and guidelines. We have a director of delight, serve, solve, and delight. These are at the heartbeat of the culture that we're trying to cultivate. It's also one of the 10 commandments that started this entire business. So, but here's the thing.

This, it's not just about business. Delight is about life. It's about your life. So when we look at the key relationships in our lives, right? We often do the exact same thing. We spend all our time, all our energy, all our money on quote acquisition. How do we get them? How do we find them? How do we get these people into our lives? And then once we've quote converted someone, right now they're here, we shift into minimum maintenance mode. And then we wonder why everything falls apart. So think about it. When

you're single, you really take care of yourself. You go to the gym, you exercise, you eat, you dress better, you engage in activities that make you come alive. You leave little notes, text sweet messages, create surprise meetups. You try things you'd never try in the name of finding new ways to connect. You make times for dates and walks and you hold hands and all sorts of other stuff. You know, you're in full metal relationship acquisition mode and you do everything you can to create the best, quote, marketing impression possible. So you start attracting interesting prospects and eventually you convert one to a boyfriend or a girlfriend or partner or lover spouse. You keep that same high level of engagement up for a bit, but then

what starts to happen, you start to feel a little too secure. You take the relationship for granted. You stop thinking about how to attract and delight that person anymore and just work on the assumption that everything's pretty much locked and loaded. Except we all know it ain't. Nobody likes being treated like a foregone conclusion. We thrive on knowing that the person with whom we've chosen to dance wants us in their lives, thinks about us all the time, loves to be with us, cares about us, and loves seeing us delighted too. And not because we demand it, but because the light inside at the thought of making us light up inside is radiant. So what might happen if you repositioned your relationship acquisition, not as an end, but

as an invitation, an opportunity to consistently surprise and delight the person with whom you've connected in ways they'd never even see coming, even the smallest ones, just enough to let them know, hey, I'm thinking about you. You matter to me. I appreciate you. In business, your marketing, sales, and acquisition costs would plummet. In life, the quality, the depth, the duration of your relationships would take off. And rather than spending all your time trying to figure out how to get people's attention, you get to spend all your time plotting and scheming ways to blow their minds and inspiring your teams and your tribes and your family and your friends and those you surround yourself with all to do the same thing. So what do you think would happen to in the business context employee

turnover when the single overriding purpose of every person on your team is to serve, solve, and delight? And then what about in your own life? Sounds pretty cool. I mean, that is an awesome way to spend your days. There's an interesting question, though, that's kind of come up with me

around this idea of delight, and that's this thing called habituation. So what is that habituation? We have this stunning ability to absorb both good and bad and turn them into this new equilibrium. So it's like they're not really having that much of effect on us. So picture this, it's a Friday night and the partner brings home some flowers unexpectedly. Wow, awesome delight. You know, and then the same thing happens next week on cue. How lovely.

And then the same thing the next week. Well, nice color. And then the same thing next week. And pretty soon you start to just assume that that's just the way it is. And what began as a delight has been demoted into an expectation. Human beings have this remarkable ability to habituate both up and down. And what elevates us in the beginning becomes kind of a baseline over time. So if we're striving to always delight, doesn't this create a bit of a hedonic delight treadmill where we've got to keep raising the bar higher and higher to deliver the

same hit? And if so, how do we stop that from happening? Can we stop it from happening? Or do we just have to work with that funny little quirk of human nature? How can we make this all work in business and life? As always, you know, I have some thoughts about this. My sense is that if you continue to explore and delight in novel ways, not just by doing the same thing over and over and over on an identical schedule, but to mix things up, to add novelty into the experience of delight, novelty in terms of timing and novelty in

terms of experience, that goes a long way towards keeping the impact really high. So I think it's just something to really play with. But the bigger idea here is when you think about how you want to spend your energy in life, both personal and in business and in career and in living, move beyond how can I acquire X? How can I build or start this relationship? And move into how can I massively delight the people that I engage with on a regular basis?

Because I found that if you exalt that to the level of commandment, pretty much everything takes care of itself. Something to think about as I explore how I want to build the next evolution of my life and my career. And maybe it's something for you guys to think about too. Thanks so much. I hope you enjoyed this. If you found something valuable, entertaining, engaging, or just plain fun, I'd be so appreciative if you take a couple extra seconds and share it. Maybe you want to email it to a friend, maybe you want to share it around social media, or even be awesome if you'd head over to iTunes and just give us a rating. Every little bit helps get the word out and it

helps more people get in touch with the message. I'm Jonathan Fields, signing off for Good Life Project. The Apple Watch Series 10 is here. It has the biggest display ever. It's also the thinnest Apple Watch ever, making it even more comfortable on your wrist, whether you're running, swimming, or sleeping. And it's the fastest-charging Apple Watch, getting you eight hours of charge in just 15 minutes.

The Apple Watch Series X, available for the first time in glossy jet black aluminum. Compared to previous generations, iPhone Xs are later required. Charge time and actual results will vary. Mayday, mayday. We've been compromised. The pilot's a hitman. I knew you were gonna be fun. On January 24th. Tell me how to fly this thing.

Mark Wahlberg. You know what the difference between me and you is? You're gonna die. Don't shoot him, we need him! Y'all need a pilot? Flight Risk.