Good Life Project - Year-End Reflection Part 2 | Our Vitality Bucket

Episode Date: December 14, 2023

It's been a turbulent year for many of us, taking a real toll on our vitality buckets - our energy levels, physical health, mental focus and overall sense of well-being. In Part 2 of this special Year-End Reflection series, we're tapping into the wisdom of the Good Life Buckets model to help you understand how the last year has impacted your own vitality. Jonathan shares the key ingredients for refilling our vitality buckets, along with 5 clarifying questions to ask yourself during this period of reflection. Jonathan walks through a personal assessment of his own vitality and mindfulness in 2023, modeling how to evaluate your mental focus, physical energy, pain levels and more. This insightful episode will provide a framework to help you reflect on the past year and make intentional changes to optimize your mindset and physical vitality as you look ahead to the new year.Join me as we explore practices and perspectives to refill your vitality bucket! If you’re open to it, record your own responses and email them to [e-mail]. We may include your reflections in an episode. I'm excited to share this powerful process over the coming weeks to help us all step into the new year with intention.Take The Good Life Bucket Quiz to discover your levels.View the 1-Page Worksheet.Find all of the Year-End Reflection episodes on this Spotify playlist.Episode TranscriptCheck out our offerings & partners: My New Book SparkedMy New Podcast SPARKED.Visit Our Sponsor Page For Great Resources & Discount Codes Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

So here's my question. How has your state of mind been this year? And what about your body? If you're like so many others, it's been a bit of a rocky year on one or even both of those fronts, which is why in today's part two of our special month-long year-end reflection series, we're tapping into the wisdom of the good life buckets to better understand how this last year has impacted us in three critical areas, vitality, connection, and contribution. Now, if you missed last week's opening episode in this special year-end bonus reflection series, you'll definitely want to cue that one up to listen to as well, because I share the basic model of what I call the good life buckets, which I introduced back in 2016, actually, in my book, How to Live

a Good Life. And we talk about why the good life buckets are so powerful in helping us both understand how the key areas of our lives are doing, and also giving us the intel, the information needed to look ahead and make whatever changes or shifts we feel are needed in order to come back to life in all areas of our lives, in order to live our best lives. And you can find a link to that opening year-end episode in the show notes. Today, in part two of this year-end reflection series, we're diving into what I call the vitality bucket, asking what it can tell us about this last year. And then we'll explore what I call the five clarifying questions that I'll invite you to ask yourself and journal on. And then I'll share my own personal assessment for my vitality bucket this year, and it has been a year of surprises for me on that

front as well. So excited to share this second installment of our year-end reflection series on the vitality bucket. I'm Jonathan Fields, and this is Good Life Project. We'll be right back. The Apple Watch Series 10 is here. It has the biggest display ever. It's also the thinnest Apple Watch ever, making it even more comfortable on your wrist, whether you're running, swimming, or sleeping. And it's the fastest-charging Apple Watch, getting you eight hours of charge in just 15 minutes. The Apple Watch Series 10, available for the first time in glossy jet black aluminum.

Compared to previous generations, iPhone XS or later required. Charge time and actual results will vary. Okay, so let's dive into this concept of the vitality bucket. Now, as you remember, this model, Good Life is basically comprised of three buckets, vitality, connection, and contribution. So what is this vitality bucket? What actually goes into it? How do we fill it? How do we look at it? How do we

think about it? How do we top off our vitality buckets so that we're feeling alive and well and just really ready to live our best lives? Well, the core idea behind the Vitality Bucket is it's about optimizing your state of body and mind. I want to take a beat just about what that standard is here. Notice I used the word optimize, not perfect. And it's really intentional. And the reason is this. We all step into whatever season of lives that we're in with different history, with

different experiences, with different experiences, with different genetics, with all sorts of different things that we bring to this moment. And there tends to be this notion of when we talk about the body and the mind, holding up some model version of that, that is ideal, that is perfect, that we all want to aspire to. But I find that that actually can be kind of frustrating for a lot of people who've been through enough of life where that model doesn't feel like it's really relevant to them or maybe even attainable. And holding that up as the perfect model of I'm going to perfect towards this model, this standard, it's actually more defeating than inspiring and

empowering. So I use the word optimizing, optimizing your state of body and mind very intentionally here, because what we're talking about is let me do what I can do to bring my mind, my state of mind, my state of body to whatever is optimizable for me, whatever is optimal for me, given who I am, my history, my genetics, my experiences to this point in my life, what is actually within the realm of possibility? So that's what we think about when we think about the vitality bucket, is how do we create optimal state of mind and body, because that is what allows us to fill our vitality buckets. Now, one more thing to talk

about here before we dive into really some of the elements, the ingredients, the fillers of the vitality bucket, and that is that I use the word mind and body separately. But what we know now, science has made so crystal clear to us, is that there is no real separation. Most of us think about our body and we think about the things that we would do to optimize our body. And many of us think about our mind and we think about the things that we would do to improve or optimize our mind or our state of mind. But the truth is that they're both part of one single seamless feedback mechanism. And when you think about that, it makes a lot of sense. If something is going on in your

body that is causing illness or pain or dysfunction or disability, it's a pretty safe bet that that is going to trickle up into your state of mind. And the same thing is also true if you're going through something that is having a really powerful impact on your state of mind, whether that's causing stress or anxiety or depression or just a sense of disconnection or isolation or loneliness, whatever it may be, that whatever is causing that state of mind, that very state is actually then going to connect to the various different physiological systems in your body, your endocrine system, your nervous system, your lymphatic system, your musculoskeletal system, all these different systems. And it is going to have a very real impact of them. What we know through research is that when you have an optimal or an improved state of mind, it is also going to help your body

function at a much higher level. And when your body is functioning at a much higher level, it is also going to make it much easier to access a higher level of a state of mind. So they're really one seamless feedback mechanism. We can't just address one and hope the other will kind of either not matter so much or come along. We really need to think about both because whatever we do to one, either positive or negative, is going to have an impact on the other. And the net effect is going to make it either harder or easier to fill or refill our vitality buckets and feel alive and connected and well, and just able to do the things that we want to do from a state of mind and body standpoint. So what actually goes into the

vitality bucket? What are some of the core ingredients or states that would allow you to help fill your vitality bucket? Well, on the mind or the mindset side, some of the ingredients or elements that I look at are awareness. And that to me, awareness is what I call a good life meta skill, but it also kind of falls under the mindset bucket because it is a quality of mind. with the skill set needed to regularly bring yourself present and make yourself aware of what is really going on within you, around you, and in between you and others. This ability to drop into the moment, to become aware of what is real, of what is not real, of what is and isn't going on, this is incredibly powerful because awareness is the gateway to intentionality. And a good life at the end of the day is an intentional life rather than a reactive life. But you cannot be intentional unless and until you are aware. So your state of awareness,

your ability to sort of at any given moment in time, drop into that present moment and become aware of what's really going on and then make decisions and take actions based on that awareness is a powerful, powerful part of what would allow you to actually be present in the moment, be grateful for it, and also make intentional choices around it and help fill your vitality bucket. Another state of mind, a powerful quality, is what I call equanimity. Some people may think of this more as resilience, but equanimity in my mind is really, it's the ability to find calm, to find a place of grounded

ease, almost no matter what comes your way, whether there's adversity, whether there's all sorts of things you want happening or not happening. it's the ability to kind of come back. It's the ability to ground yourself and touch stone. And no matter what's happening with the circumstances around you, to know that your inner environment, your inner circumstances, your state of mind and body can come back to a place of grounded ease. So that capacity is really important in your ability to fill your vitality bucket. Another element on the mindset side is what I would shorthand as focus, right? This is the ability to direct your attention in whatever place you want to direct it at any given moment in time. And granted, I am absolutely not great at this at many different times. I'll

share a bit more of my reflection on all these different things a bit later in this conversation. But the ability to actually direct your attention to where you want it is critically important because it really controls the quality of your moment-to-moment experience. And that affects your state of mind, whether you're happy, whether you're sad, whether you're optimistic or pessimistic, whether you're anxious or present and joyful, whether you're grateful or feeling a sense of lack. Your ability to focus on the experiences and qualities and thoughts and emotions and feelings that are constructive and functional and helpful and engendering a vitality is critically important. And I also like to add

on the mindset side, possibility and wonder. My ability to access a state of possibility and wonder where I feel like I look at the world, maybe I'm just even looking at this particular moment in time, and I can find a reason, a sense of possibility and hopefulness. And at the same time, I have access to a state of wonder. This feeling that there is magic around me, almost no matter where I am, even in really tough moments and situations, internal and external circumstances I'd rather not be in, that I still have the capacity to access a sense of possibility and wonder. On the mindset side, these are powerful potential fillers of your vitality bucket.

Now let's talk a little bit about what about on the body side? What are some of the indicators, the metrics that we look at when thinking about filling the vitality bucket on the body side? And again, as I said earlier, it's a bit of an artificial distinction, but I think because most of us think about mind and body and the qualities of them independently, I'm just going to kind of break this out for you a little bit more. So on the body side, I think about my level of energy, you know, like, am I energized and excited like throughout the day or am I dragging? Do I feel like I'm just depleted and I have no energy? Because if you're energized, it's going to make it easier for your body to actually feel more alive and fill your vitality bucket. If you're constantly depleted

and have no energy, that's going to be a drag on your system. Another quality that I look at is what I would categorize as just daily function. Am I able to do the things that make me feel good as I move throughout the day, whether that's hiking or moving my body or just sitting and thinking or listening to music or helping out a friend doing something or driving and doing tasks and my to-do list or being with people,

the daily function things that would allow me to feel like I'm living a good life, is my body physically capable of doing those things on a level that makes me feel good? And again, no judgments here. This is all about just asking the questions and looking at a wide variety of metrics that might go into filling your vitality bucket.

We all come to this particular moment in time with different abilities and limitations and different history that will influence this. I also look at my overall feeling of well-being. How is that? And I often rate this on a scale of one to 10. I do this with all of these actually. And I'll walk through that in just a bit of my own exploration of these qualities. I think also about the other side of this, which is levels of discomfort or pain or illness. And again, some of this we have control over, some of it we don't. Some of it we're somewhere in the middle. But either way, these things go into, these are qualities that will affect your vitality bucket. So we want to be honest about

them at any given moment in time. I also think about what I would shorthand as performance. And when I say performance, I'm not talking about being up on a stage. I'm saying, basically, if I want to be able to perform physically and psychologically at a certain level, because it makes me feel good to be able to do that. Maybe you're a swimmer and you want to be able to swim 50 laps in your pool in a certain amount of time while feeling good. Maybe you're a musician and you want to be able to actually use your mind and body to focus in on the music and then create something and then use your fingers on a piano or a fretboard to be able to actually perform at a level of competence and skill that makes you feel really good. These things will all

fold into how full or empty your vitality bucket can be. And some of the things that affect all these different states and qualities are things like movement and mobility, meditation, mindfulness, nature immersion, nutrition, sleep, all the things that we've heard about, these are mechanisms that then affect the qualities. And those qualities are things again, like energy, daily function, well-being, discomfort, pain, awareness, equanimity, all those qualities, right? So these are the things that we talk about and that we think about when we're talking about how we might go about filling our vitality bucket. And also for the purpose of this, we're going to look at all

these different qualities and kind of give them a score because we want to create a little bit of a year end check-in and assessment of where we feel we are with each one of those different qualities. And the way we do that, by the way, is by asking what I call the five clarifying questions. So for each one of those qualities that I just talked about, we're going to go through them and we're going to ask one, what level is it at now? And I'm going to say, rank that from one to 10, one being not great at all, about as unhappy with the answer as you could be, and 10 being like phenomenal, like fantastic. The second question is, where has it been over the last year? And we want to kind of get a beat on a high, a low, and an average over the course of the last 12 months or so. The third question is, what have been the main contributors

to this level, both within and outside of my control? And these are really important to ask because it helps you understand where you have agency and where it actually might make sense to surrender a certain amount and just make peace, right? And this is going to be individual with each person. The fourth clarifying question that we ask when we think about the state of our vitality bucket is, am I content with both the

ambient or average levels for the year and where I am now, right? So we're basically saying ourselves, am I okay with this? Like, you know, maybe it's actually not where I would want it to be, but given the year that I just had, maybe I'm actually okay with that. Maybe it's actually not where I would want it to be, but given the year that I just had, maybe I'm actually okay with that. Maybe this was just a really brutal year. Maybe it was challenging ways that I didn't see coming and it affected my vitality bucket levels. But given what I just went through, I'm actually pretty okay with that. And I know that I've done the best that I could do and that I'll keep doing things to improve it in the year to come, which brings us to that fifth clarifying question. And that question is, what, if anything,

might I think about changing as I prepare or plan for the year to come, right? And these are the five clarifying questions that we ask about the qualities that go into filling our vitality bucket or the state of our vitality bucket as we do this year in reflection right now. So that's basically the core qualities of your vitality bucket and the five clarifying questions

as they would relate to it. And just after this break, we're gonna to come back and I'm going to pick and choose a couple of these qualities that I shared with you. And I'll walk you through my own reflection. I'll walk you through those five clarifying questions in and also get a sense of how I think about really responding to the state of my vitality bucket and using those five clarifying questions to really understand what this year has been about, how it affected my vitality bucket, and how I might think about making changes in the year to come based on this year in reflection. See you in just a bit. The Apple Watch Series 10 is here. It has the biggest display ever. It's also the thinnest Apple Watch ever, Flight risk. The Apple Watch Series X. Available for the first time in glossy jet black aluminum. Compared to previous generations, iPhone XS or later required. Charge time and actual results will vary.

Hey, so we're going to wrap this up as I'm going to with the following two episodes that will wrap up our year-end reflection also. With a little bit of my own reflection here, I wanna show you how I think about walking through the different elements of my vitality bucket and in the context of those five clarified questions. So I'm just gonna pick a couple of these here to give you an example. And then the invitation at the end

will be for you to spend a little bit of time, maybe 15, 20 minutes or so, just quietly journaling on your own, using an app, using paper, whatever it is that works for you to look at the different qualities and elements of your vitality bucket and ask those five clarifying questions in the context of each. And again, if you actually go down to your show notes, you will see a link for a PDF that will actually share the three different

buckets and the key ingredients that go into each and the five clarifying questions so that you can do this reflection on your own. You don't have to memorize this at all. So let's start out with just a couple on my side. And we'll start on the mindset side of the vitality bucket. And then I'm just going to pick one quality and then I'll walk through the fiveity bucket. And then I'll, I'm just going to pick one quality and then I'll walk through the five clarifying questions. Then I'll, I think I'll do one for the body side as well. Walk through the five clarifying questions. So you can get a sense for how I would use those questions on two different qualities. So for me, why don't we talk about the, the focus element of my vitality bucket, right?

So we're talking about focus here, which is one of the big contributors on the mindset side of your vitality bucket. Now, when we talk about focus, now we're gonna go to the five clarifying questions. And first I ask, what level is it at now? Rank that from one to 10. And this is my capacity to be able to really dial in my focus

on the things that I truly value and believe matter the most to me and sustain it there for a meaningful amount of time. So I would say right now, about a seven out of 10. So maybe even like closer to an eight. I feel like my capacity for focus is pretty good, which honestly surprises me now because there's so much swirling around in my life, in my work environment right now. There are huge amounts of potential distractions

and things that are coming my way. But I do feel that at any given moment, I do have the capacity to really laser focus on the task at hand and discern what is actually the meaningful thing that I need to be doing right now. Focus my energy on that at a pretty high level. And I think if I think about that, that a lot of that has actually come from a very

longstanding mindfulness meditation practice. So the fact that I have had a devoted mindfulness practice for over a dozen years that happens more or less every day, first thing in the morning, has allowed me to cultivate the ability to hyper-focus my attention to where it matters for certain windows of time, even when the world around me feels like it's swirling wildly. So that's the first clarifying question I'd say. It's about, let's call it an eight out of 10 there. Now, where has my focus been over the last year? Sort of like the high, the low, and the average. And here I think there's a little bit more variation because there have been times throughout

the year where I have been really struggling, psychologically struggling, physically struggling with all sorts of different things. And there were moments where that really affected my ability to focus. So even though I have this longstanding practice, things happen that sort of like knock me off of that. And I would say that my low in terms of my ability to focus where it really mattered, it's probably somewhere around the three or four. I'd say my high is probably pretty close to 10 because there had been windows where I've been just really incredibly dialed in and gotten just absolutely amazing stuff done. And the average I'd probably say is somewhere around a six to seven. So it's a little bit lower

than where it's sitting now. And that brings us to the third clarifying question. And again, I'm just dealing with the quality of focus now, which is one of the elements that helps to fill or deplete your vitality bucket. That third clarifying question is, what have been the main contributors to this level, both within and outside of my control? So when I think about focus,

I think the main contributor to having a high level of focus that is within my control is, as I described, this very longstanding mindfulness meditation practice that has had a ripple effect in so many different areas of my life. high level of focus that is within my control is as I described this very longstanding mindfulness meditation practice that has had a ripple effect in so many different areas of my life, dialed down reactivity, allowed myself to more effectively sort of like reject distraction and really dial in focus and attention to where I need it outside of my control. And this goes to another thing that really affected my vitality bucket, is that in the middle of this year, I'm actually of a certain age where I was ill,

where it's not something I talked about publicly. It's not something that I shared, but it definitely affected me. I actually had shingles, which is basically the chicken pox virus, which has been brewing in me since I was a little kid. And it came back, and it came back in the form of shingles, which is incredibly painful, and it affects the nerves in your body. And that lasted for me for many months. And that had a really substantial effect for a window of time on pretty much every area of my life. But it definitely affected my focus because when you're in pain, and for me, that pain was on my head and face, it makes it really hard to think.

And even with my meditation practice, even with all the things that I know about it and fantastic, very privileged in my ability to access great medical help and resources, it affected me and affected my focus in pretty substantial ways for probably the better part of three months until I was able to thankfully move through it and return. So I think about this and I think, you know, like that actually really made a difference in that, you know, in theory, I'm getting to the last part of this clarifying question where it says both within and outside of my control. So you would say, well, that was outside of my control. It's something that just happened, but I've actually reflected a lot on this. And one of the primary things that makes this happen is stress. the fastest charging Apple Watch, getting you eight hours of charge in just 15 minutes. The Apple Watch Series 10, available for the first time in glossy jet black aluminum. Compared to previous generations,

iPhone XS or later required, charge time and actual results will vary. Mayday, mayday, we've been compromised. The pilot's a hitman. I knew you were gonna be fun. On January 24th. Tell me how to fly this thing. Mark Wahlberg.

You know what the difference between me and you is? You're going to die. Don't shoot him. We need him. Y'all need a pilot. Flight risk. And what I realized is that there was a level of baseline stress, especially during that part of my year, that my mindset skills and practices were so deep and so sustained

and so long that it, in a weird way, almost masked the level of physiological stress or psychological stress that was being imposed on me because of a number of different circumstances where I didn't really realize in the moment how much stress was being piled on. So my body decided to tell me by effectively allowing this thing to rise up inside of me and say, okay, if you're not going to tune into this, we're going to make sure that you're tuned into it and you need to take a break and just let your body come back to a place of peace and ease and well-being. So that was a really interesting experience for me. One that really led me to reflect even beyond the immediate experience of it, to really try and understand what was happening here,

where this happened inside of me. Which brings us to the fourth clarifying question. Am I content with both the ambient or average levels of my ability to focus my attention on where it mattered most during the year and also from where I am now? And again, like in the middle of the year, if I was going to give a number to my focus during this sort of like bout, it would have been a three or four. Was I happy with that at the time? No. But upon reflection, did I do the best that I could do? Did I learn whatever I could learn? Did I honor my need to pull back and just allow my body to have space and time and support to heal?

Yes. So am I happy that it happened? Am I happy that it sort of cratered in the middle of the year? No. But am I happy with how I moved through it? Am I content in knowing that I did the best that I could and that I've recovered and I'm back to where I need to be now? Yeah, I think I am actually. So on a one to 10 scale, if I was going to assign a number to that, I'd probably say like eight is there as well. That brings us to the fifth clarifying question. What, if anything, might I think

about changing as I prepare to plan for the year to come? And again, this is in the context of just one of those vitality bucket fillers, which is focus, my ability to direct my attention to the things that matter most. And when I think about the year to come, one of my mantras has always been fewer things better. I function at a higher level when I do fewer things better. And I wasn't doing that for a chunk of this year. So when I think about the year to come, I'm already thinking about how can I reorganize the various projects, endeavors, tasks that I'm doing that I'm excited to do that I want to make happen, but make them happen in a way where it's more one after the other rather than all at the same time. That causes stress and complexity and mayhem. And it affects not just my ability to focus on the things that matter and do them at a level that feels genuinely deeply meaningful to me, but it also piles on stress.

It affects my awareness. It affects my level to find equanimity and peace and ease and my ability to just pause and find that sense of possibility and wonder. And that also affects my daily energy. It makes it more depleting. And my ability to do what I want to do drops. And my overall feeling of well-being, my psychological stress often shows up in my body as physical discomfort or pain. So I really want to do more of what I would call single tasking, fewer things better, as I think about the year to come. So that was how I would really just sort of pick one of those particular contributors

to my vitality bucket and think about it. Now, the invitation for you is to spend 15 or 20 minutes thinking about your vitality bucket. You can think about those contributors. And again, we have a link to a simple one pager in the show notes that you can download to make it super easy for you. It'll remind you what's in each of the three different buckets and then share with you the five clarifying questions. And then two different options here. If you're really, really inclined to

do it, and this will take a bit more effort, but it's more valuable because you get more granular information. You can go quality by quality into all the different elements that contribute to your vitality bucket and ask the five clarifying questions. Or if you want to do more of a short and sweet version of this, just kind of like think about your vitality bucket in general right now and ask yourself the five clarifying questions. When I think about my vitality bucket, how full or empty it is right now, what the state of my vitality is, my mind and body? What level is it at now? Where has it been over the last year, high, low, average? What have been the main contributors to

this both within and outside of my control? Am I content with both the ambient or average levels for the year and where I am now? And what, if anything, might I think about changing as I prepare to plan for the year to come? So that is the exercise that I'll leave you with and super excited to hear about what's coming up for you. And if you're open to it, just record a short and sweet voicemail with your responses to the week's prompts and email it to support at goodlifeproject.com and who knows, we might even include your reflections at the end of one of these very special episodes. Next week, we will be diving into our third year in reflection episode. And the focus there is going to be your connection bucket. And I'll go into what that is, what fills it,

some surprises in there too, I have to tell you. And as always, I'll share a little bit of my walkthrough and then leave you with the prompt so that you can do urine reflection as well. I'll see you here again next week for our third urine reflection episode. Take care. Mayday, mayday. We've been compromised. The pilot's a hitman. I knew you were going to be fun. January 24th. Tell me how to fly this thing. The Apple Watch Series 10 is here. It has the biggest display ever.

It's also the thinnest Apple Watch ever, making it even more comfortable on your wrist, whether you're running, swimming, or sleeping. And it's the fastest-charging Apple Watch, getting you eight hours of charge in just 15 minutes. The Apple Watch Series X. Available for the first time in glossy jet black aluminum. Compared to previous generations, iPhone XS or later required,

charge time and actual results will vary.