Green Light with Chris Long - Big Cat! Masters Review, Who to Hate After Coach K's Retirement & Parenting. GL DoughnutGate.

Episode Date: April 12, 2022

(2:25) - Hello, Layup Line, Masters Calcutta Review & Arch Manning Visits UVA. (31:14) - Big Cat on the 2022 Masters, Who to Hate in College Basketball Now that Coach K is Gone, F1 Racing, LeBron and the Lakers, How to Get Arch Manning to UVA, Parenting and Telling People You Podcast for a Living.  (1:23:55) - Macon on Dr. Fax and GL Doughnut Gate. (1:29:51) - Dr. Fax on Macon and GL Doughnut Gate. (1:43:19) - Chris and Dr. Fax Talk Being an Undrafted Free Agent Following the NFL Draft, presented by Coors Light.  (2:06:28) - Chris and Dr. Fax Talk About the Unfortunate Passing of Dwayne Haskins. Green Light Spotify Music: https://open.spotify.com/user/951jyryv2nu6l4iqz9p81him9?si=17c560d10ff04a9b Spotify Layup Line: https://open.spotify.com/playlist/1olmCMKGMEyWwOKaT1Aah3?si=675d445ddb824c42 Green Light Tube YouTube Channel: https://www.youtube.com/c/GreenLightTube1 Green Light with Chris Long: Subscribe and enjoy weekly content including podcasts, documentaries, live chats, celebrity interviews and more including hot news items, trending discussions from the NFL, MLB, NHL, NBA, NCAA are just a small part of what we will be sharing with you. https://www.greenlightpodcast.com/ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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In Colorado, Indiana, New Jersey, and Virginia call 1-800 gambler. And in Michigan, 1-800-2707-1-17. Tennessee, y'all too. 1-800-889-9-9-7-89. Welcome to the Greenlight podcast. We've got Big Cat today, folks. To start, Chris and Macon recap the Greenlight Masters Calcutta and talk Arch Manning's visit to UVA over the weekend.

And then we chat with Big Cat. We're going to recap the Masters Tournament. Talk about Tiger cell phones and sandwich prices in Augusta. We're going to talk about Coach K and who we should hate now, a little F1 racing, LeBron and the Lakers. getting Arch Manning to UVA, a little bit of parenting, and how to tell people

you're a professional podcaster. We also have the biggest green light feud yet making and Dr. Fax on Donutgate. Appreciate y'all tuning in. Enjoy your day. Don't look to the NFL for news. I just opened NFL.com to see if there's anything we should talk about

bucks among teams to begin off-season workouts. I think we're good. Yeah, just wait until 4 p.m. when Brady retired. again. Brady retires again. Antonio Brown moving in with him. I don't know what could happen today, but something's going to happen. So if we don't get a chance to address it, that's because we podcast it in the morning. Make a lot of golf today. We're going to get to that. We've got to tie up some loose ends when it comes to some of the bets that we've made, including that Calcutta for the weekend. And Arch Manning was in town. Yeah. Arch Manning's a high school football player,

considering the University of Virginia. Number one ranked prospect in the class of 2023. I would let Arch Manning slap me. I would let you slap me like my co-host slap me. Like Will Smith slap Chris Rock. I would let you slap me and I would just stand there if you're going to commit to the University of Virginia. Full speed.

We'll talk about that in a little bit. Make, you want to start with the hello? Whoa, we got Big Cat coming on a little bit. Dan Katz. I know Reed probably said that in his little rundown. but um big cat of part of my take fame yeah so he'll come on in a bit he's a big golf guy america's roommate i've seen him described is that how he's described yeah explain that to me well i think it i think it's apt i think uh you know he's the lovable roommate down the hall

who's always down for whatever so he's not your roommate and he's got uh he's down the hall well no he's down the hall but in the same apartment okay yeah same unit okay same unit great laugh he's got a good laugh like if i had that laugh he has a good laugh this is an elite podcast if you had that laugh i'll ask him how to laugh my life would be easier yeah it's not genuine he'll go and i don't have that in me

i've a pretty consistent laugh i feel like i try to make everybody feel like they're funny and i feel like i feel like your marijuana helps out oh but i'm not i'm not high today and i will be laughing at a lot of stuff say okay hey let's start with hello Denver Colorado how'd you come up with that one hello the pioneers scored five goals in the third period to win the NC2A D1 hockey tournament oh they'd be they'd be Minnesota State I just missed that out of uh must have been the golf man Cato I believe you know five goals in the third yeah yeah yeah to win five one they're the uh they're the pioneers

as I might have said cam smith That's good stuff. All vibes. That joke was down under the belt. I got to read out, read laugh there. And those you got to earn. Hey,

we should do a Spotify shuffle. Okay. For layup line today, just get this show on the road here. You know what I did Saturday night? You curated your fucking songs so that. No, I did not.

But I did host and name that tune between my in-laws. I had my father-in-law and my mother. in law taking on how do you do an uncle and on in law is that was that what they're called i have no idea i don't even know who my cousins are honestly yeah cousins are a blind spot for me too totally like are you my uncle part of that could have been the fact that you were drunk can we talk about that yeah sure i got a text message from you want to get fucked up question mark and then there was no response after i say yes so i've decided that it's the first hard alcohol i've consumed since my wedding night so that's two years in a month. That's 25 months. And I went with I wanted gin. That's your problem, dude.

It was five o'clock. I wanted a gin. Yeah. Fun uncle-in-law in town. His name's Carl. I mean, when Carl's in town, how does it get any better than that? And so I, uh, we went out to dinner. I said, hey, can I get a gin? Put some soda in there and then a splash of. And I looked to my lovely wife, and she said, grapefruit. Bang, grapefruit. Delicious. Put a little blackberry in there from a side of fruit. What fuck are you doing? Oh my God dude. It was delicious. I just kept them rolling. We went back to the house. Hard alcohol. Yeah, gin.

You basically, you transitioned the drink. It was hard alcohol. And it became medium. No, then it became a girl drink. No, dude, it's hard alcohol. It's a gin and it was delicious. Had something something from Vermont, like a bars hill or

something. Yeah, okay. And the lead here is that you hadn't drank alcohol in two and a half years. And I thought that was out of the blue i missed seeing you yeah yeah yeah and then i emcee to name that tune between these folks and it it was just a raucous good time i'm glad you made it count dude yeah well you're gonna fall off the wagon and then i was why not get drunk with your in-laws i was home it was so much fun actually this feels like a sucking up segment bad no no no bad for us though because i like you got really shit-faced and made a fool out of yourself and this is a sucking up

segment no no no i would not shit face one yeah was like i i uh what's it called when you um moderation when you do real well by yourself i i acquitted myself very well yeah uh even under the influence and i was home by like midnight good for you a good night sleep fine the next day ish i was 1215 we could have hung out dude yeah yeah two trains different tracks yeah let's just do the shuffle you want to start us off okay by the way you feeling hungover you're feeling the of it at all? No, I'm good. I mean, yesterday was a little fuzzy. Okay. Yeah, maybe. Okay, good. The problem is I had so much fun at a home, you know? If we just do it out of home. I'd be happy to do it at home. Okay. Bro, we watch basketball.

We watch UNC and Duke in like the game of the century a couple weeks ago. I don't even think we called you because we don't think you're gonna. Yeah, you guys don't call anymore. Well, that's a bad sign for you. I know. No, no, I know. Yeah. I know. But again, I'm like, I'm in the, I'm in the weeds as far as child, child rearing, you know? Yeah, yeah, yeah. So you guys got older kid. Just give me a year to, yeah. Okay.

Okay. Drink more alcohol. It helps with the marriage thing. Okay. Ready? Yeah. Guy got married, stopped drinking alcohol. That's the funniest joke.

You'll hear all day on this podcast. I added no vices. I took away vices. Love my wife. Well, if that's not appropriate, I don't know what, swear to God, dude. No, I hit the button. We're going to rock a new.

Disco hits. Electric Avenue. This got electric avenue. These boots, which we just did. I feel like people are listening to us. I feel like the phone's listening to us. We just talked about Eric Church. By the way, I stand with Eric Church.

It's a love thing by Keith Urban. It's a love thing. That's a banger from the 90s. Isn't Keith Urban with Nicole Kidman? That's right. Yeah. Married. Height differential there?

Mm-hmm. Short kings. Height is so overrated, man. I'll just say this. I mean, it's in everything but getting girls. I know that some short kings are listening and they're like, that's not true. I have trouble getting girls.

Maybe you're not that good looking. If you're a short king and you're good looking, chicks do not care. And Amadola has dated every model under the sun. This reminds me. This reminds me of an NFL multi-millionaire over the weekend tweeting that some folks were obsessed about money and they should fix. said about themselves. Well, you're doing the trolling Kyle thing. No, no. I think it's true. People are obsessed about money. Well, but I'm saying you're like a six, three, six, six four cat.

Yeah, it's easy for me to say, but I will say this. As a six three, six four cat, I'm just telling you usually like what you dread on the rebound is not the tall king, it's the short king. Hmm. Because you're like, what's going on there? Yeah. You know what I mean? Well, you know, you want the opposite of what you've just had. Yeah. And she's like, yeah, I mean, yeah, exactly. Yeah. If you could be any height. What would you pick? Probably this height. Which is?

Six foot three and three A's. Yeah. I wouldn't want to be a short king, but I think it's an overrated plight. I think that short kings get plenty of attention from females. I'm going to nominate Electric Avenue. Iron Lung Radiohead. I got the blues, the Rolling Stones.

Read that for me. Seamen in a debub. by Hylou Margia. This guy's a fucking legend, dude. His song's called what? Seamen in a D-Bub. That's interesting, dude. You need to go check out

Hylou Murgia, honestly. This dude is a legend. It's Ethiopian jazz. But it's your disco that's going to make the... I mean, we can't pick anything else, can we? Electric Avenue. Electric Avenue. That's my nominee.

Electric Avenue. Some homage to Big Cat. in that song, which has been ruined by part of my take. Boys! You want to talk about something Short Kings didn't think about until NBA players became really fashionable, clothes. Like, short kings could buy whatever clothes they want. Like, they can buy all the latest, hottest fits.

I went through most of my adult life. I went through my prime as a man wearing fucked up clothes because they didn't cater to tall kings. I had to go into Rochester Big and Tall. I had to get the clothes that Mr. Big from Sex and the City wears like at 18 dude. Craig Noth. Is that him? That's him.

It's Christoph. Whatever the fuck. Jesus. Who gives a shit? He did something stupid. Yeah. And then he comes back for the movie maybe. I don't know.

It's weird. I don't consume all the content. But he's got better clothes now because he's been canceled just so you guys. Tall Kings. Tall Kings have trouble buying clothes. So that's one more thing. And the short Kings like the the kid section is open to them. That was gratuitous.

like the latest and greatest in the kids section. That was gratuitous. I don't stand by that. Anybody listening to home is not as tall. In some things, like say like say well really Nike anything, I'm out here ordering smalls, all right? So I got my own. Do you see

do you see women in Julian Edelman jerseys mostly or Adrian Waddle jerseys? No, no, I'm not trying sorry about the stray but he's six seven. I'm thinking of Patriots like you know like like think about it. Short kings don't have so bad. They're more approachable, literally. Literally more approachable. And then also, you can get into

any car you want. Any car you want. One time I wanted when I was a hot shot football player, and I was test driving some nice whips. I test drove a Porsche Cayenne. And I wanted a Porsche cayenne so bad, but I couldn't fit in that motherfucker. Damn. Not a problem for Shorter Kings. That's too bad. See, Kyle's Money Tweet. You know that McCann? Yeah. McCann. Yeah. You know, when I see that on the road, I'll, I'll think to myself, that looks a lot like making.

And if you weren't so tall, you could get in one. Right. Airplane. Another thing short kings can do is, and this is not supposed to be a big gross session, guys. Like, seriously, dude, I really do think it's, I don't think it's that bad. You could, like, when you're done with your shoes, you can, you can hang them on the rearview mirror like baby shoes. Remember when people used to do that?

Don't you throw it over a telephone line when you make sex? There's drugs here. Oh, drugs? Yeah, the shoes on telephone pole is drugs. Oh, I thought it was sex. Yeah? No, I don't think it's sex. It can be both, actually.

It can be drugs and sex? Yeah. That's when you put like two shoes up there, it's drugs and sex. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Well, how do you do just the one? I think you have to fling them over. I don't know.

They're two shoes, yeah. I don't know. You'll find out one day. We'll figure out some other reasons of being short. It ain't that bad. But by the way, Taylor, I met a friend of yours in the wild. Wow. A guy named Peter.

Shout out to Peter. I was at Pro Renata in Western Namar County. Ran into a guy named Peter said, I know Taylor. And you also visited me at the hospital when I was a kid. At that point, I'm thinking, I'm glad you're better. Like, what do I say now? Like, I'm really glad that you seem to be okay. You got an IPA in your hand.

I'm sure that when I visited you, it was much more dire. So good on you, kid. And then he came back seven minutes later and said, never mind, that was Heath Miller. And I was like, who? Because I don't remember this fucking kid at all. Like usually I remember all the kids I visited at the hospital. I don't remember Peter at all, dude.

I think what's funny about that is how he decided to come back to you and be like, hey, you know what? No, that wasn't you. But that was a real. That was a real. Like usually fans when they come back or fans of the show or people that like watch football, I don't want to be presumptuous and say he might fucking think I'm a goober in actuality. Taylor might be saying I'm a terrible guy to work for. No, dude.

So not to interrupt, but like I saw him at a JMU basketball game. back in the fall and he was like yo what are you up to now and I told him what I was doing and he was like oh no shit he's like I actually listen to that there you go so he actually really does listen to it usually when fans come back for a second pass you're like what is it now buddy you got to laugh out of me the first time it's got to be good if you're coming back for a second pass and Peter brought the house down with that it wasn't me when you visited hey all you white square jawed tall kings look alike to me tall kings look alike it wasn't you anyways um taylor you got to we're about to talk about the calcutta bet that we made and we

have to pay up on taylor this is the week or this is a two week period we need to set like a 10 day window here that taylor has to take that blow up doll out that he lost in that broncos jags bet to read you you a welcher are you a welchin i mean he blamed the pandemic he blamed the winner like we've got the blow up doll here in studio it's ready for you to wine and dine it you know the terms of a bet where you have to go out in public with this doll and have a meal. And I think with spring upon us and people are out and about again, it's only right that you take the blowup doll Cassandra out to a nice outdoor dining venue. Like a picnic in the park, right? No, park feels like you're getting away with it. There needs to be a wait to staff. There's a big

concert outside. You don't have to do dinner. You know, there was also like you kind of ran out of time. Like there has to be some initiative here. I'm not going to pick you up with the doll in my car like I'm your parent and drive you to the date, dude. You know, like my parents used to do with me and take me to the movies. Yeah. You know, like it's different. You actually have to do this. And Taylor, if we wait 10 days, I might make you fuck the doll in public.

So we got to find a way here to pay up on the bet. What do you say? Guys, 10 days? Yeah, let's find a restaurant ASAP. Let's find that restaurant ASAP. Okay. By April the 21st. We also have to find a car from Matt Conrath who lost our fantasy football league.

So I'm making a big push to fans here. Like we are about to buy this cat a car and it's got to be a beater. He's six foot seven. He's a former NFL defensive end. You can't tell by looking at his fantasy team. Now I can make those jokes. I figured out the rules. Matt was awful.

He lost the first year and had to get dyed tips. he looked like a seven foot tall lance bass now he's got to drive like just a dog shit car around town every day and i'm going to post a picture of him at kuisnos at footlocker at all the places you know he's got to figure out like a different errand to run every day with this car so if you're at home think of the shittiest car that's going to be affordable and fit into the greenlight budget that we can purchase for matt send us a link send us a link dude send us a fucking send us your back page link bonus points if it's in reggeless link yeah what we really need is to find like that shaggin wagon from dumb and dumber that's like a dog and you're gonna fuck your doll in it

i you know come yeah speaking of the rules watch this yeah he said himself up shaggin wagon your wide receiver yeah catches a 20 yard touchdown that's right how many points uh in fantasy yeah i don't know we'll do a refresher next august there's no need i just keep winning the league. Nine points. You actually, what you just did his own yourself

because the guy who doesn't know the rules just fucking obliterated you this year. Yeah, you'll hear this when you listen back. You just said that you learned

the rules, which is why you won the league. And no, all respect. Hey, look, you're, I don't need all the rules. I just need some of the rules,

dude. I know you think you're, you're sounding smart, but you got beat by me in fantasy this year. I'm like one of the best fantasy players of all time. I do it like Indiana

Jones in Raiders of the Lost Stark or wherever he walked across that invisible bridge. Legends of the Hidden Temple. Yes, you got it. I don't need the bridge, dude. I don't need the rules. Blindfold me. I can play chess blindfolded. I'm Bobby Fisher without the problematic stuff,

plus a blindfold. We'll get Conrad the car. Send us a link. Now we've got to talk about Greenlight Calcutta. Calcutta. Which was a Donnybrook. Electric, dude. It was a Donnybrook. So Macon and Kyle picked the two best squads and finish plus 34. overall for the tournament

in Dead Last. Like Shawfully missed cut, Kepka missed cut, Justin Rose missed cut, Van Ruyen. Oh, they didn't play past Friday. Kepka missed the cut? Yeah, we only had Cam Smith

and Corey Conner's going into the weekend. We did have, you know, the two best scores, it looks like, but that doesn't count for anything. Fax was in third. We'll give you a pat on the back in the way of a golf ball. How's it incorrect, Rita? You got Schaeffler. Yeah.

I'm Cowboy Reed. I'm Cowboy Reed. I picked the number one player in the world in the Masters champ. That real creative pick. He was coming in on a hot streak. That was dumb of you all to not pick him. It was guaranteed. Again, you're blaming Reed.

There's a pattern here. I did something stupid and I'm going to make other people feel stupid about it. I lost the fantasy football to a guy who doesn't know the rules. He's dumb, not me. Same with Reed. Reed picked the fucking stud. And look, evidently is taken over the golf world.

And by Sunday, although I don't think this has been posted yet this graphic. FYI, fellas. We finally spelled Beezer's first name. Let's throw our spelling department under the bus. Well, I mean, it's a copy and paste situation. But we're bearing the lead. Plus 18.

Chris and Cowboy Reed have won Greenlight Calcutta. And we need to determine who actually wins via tiebreaker because that person picks the target who will be standing out in the driving range to get hit by golf balls. Ultimately, the loser of the Calcutta has to stand out in the middle of a driving range. We have to find a driving range. So

So if you own a driving range in Virginia and you are a fan of the pod, tell us because most driving ranges aren't going to be okay with this because of liability. So whoever wins this tie break picks who gets hit. That's right. Or who gets missed. Cowboy and I tied. It's public enemy number one on this podcast. I'm sure it'll be.

Again. But that's cool. You know. Probably shouldn't have talked about the misspellings right before he writes down who he wants to get hit. read you're writing yours down i'll write my down okay remember love is love cowboy and chris take take some time to suck up to us okay chris you're one of the best people i know oh thank you you're honest you're loyal compassionate thank you i appreciate that cowboy oh thank you i think you're the nicest guy i've ever

met um you say sorry when other people screw up yeah and um and i love both you guys a whole lot and, you know, maybe show some mercy on a guy who. Well, this is- Cam Smith, all vibes. I feel like Mark Cuban on Shark Tank. On Shark Tank. Thanks for finishing that sentence because I was about to call it fish bowl, fish tank. My brain is not firing this morning.

And I gotta tell you, the entrepreneur, that I don't like your fucking idea. You don't? Or that that wasn't enough. It wasn't? No. So my name is on your name is on my piece of paper. And I'm saying this because I think I know who Reed's going to pick. Reed's going to pick me because anybody else that's like...

You won't make a sidebed on who Reed's going to pick? Sure. Five bucks. I'll do 10. I think it's going to be Chris. 10 bucks. I bet it's making. I bet it's Chris.

Okay. My hand's cold. I want to apologize for that. Because I think, yeah, I think I'm going to get pelted with... Chris has a... He picked me. I picked you. I see it.

Christopher Howard Long. Wow. Nice. Thank you. It's going to be me in Macon. It wouldn't have worked well with the worst golfer in the studio or hitting balls at somebody. Wow. Shots fired.

I'm a fucking punt putt. Are you? No, he's saying the worst golfer. It'd take me off. Right. Right. Right.

Right. So we're going to bring some more people in because we're now down one golfer. And we're going to get pelt. You just went from Ty for the win. to now you're a bit. But I know how this ends. You know, like, I'm a big boy. I'll take the golf balls.

No problem. I don't think any of you fucking guys can hit me. Hey, and shoot me your Venmo. I'll be putting 10 big ones in that. Big cash guy. In that sucker. He's lost my wallet 12 days ago. Oh.

Yeah, just big cash guy. I don't know the last time I handled cash. I've been handling it. You just go to the bank and ask for it? No, I've just got some cash that I've, like a mattress guy. Yeah. Yeah. Mattress Mac.

By the way, who did he bet the other night? Didn't Mattress Mac, did he win or a loser? He must have won because they haven't made a big deal about it. He had to sweat it out. Good for Mattress Mac. He bet on Kansas. Hey, April the 12th, uh,

boss tweed Franklin Roosevelt and Joe Lewis all died on this date. That's valuable information. And by the way, we can make our promises to Arch right now, I think. Okay. Because we're about to have big cat on. We'll get his take as well.

It's good. We have that, that behind us. I'm a winner and a loser in my first ever Calcutta. Unless we did it last year. I don't really remember. We did. Okay. Arch Manning. If you're listening. Come to Virginia, dude.

We want you to come to Charlottesville, Man. Like, first off, like, you will definitely be able to walk around here and not get bothered. Like, people are not going to be that serious about it. You don't play for Tony Bennett. Like, you can... It's going to be okay. Like, it's not going to be, like, down at Bama where you can't do anything. You can't go to the gas station, nothing. You'll be able to go to go to

to the library, you'll be able to go to the bar, you'll be able to come by Studio J and collect your pay stubs because you're going to be the official athlete of the Greenlight Pod. And also, low-key, we're about to trot out a potential Heisman Trophy candidate and Brinand Armstrong. But if you're at Texas, it's like, all right, cool, Vince Young. Other than Earl Campbell, it's just drug guys that win Heisman's at Texas, and you're not a drug guy. Little Ricky. You're not a drug guy for you. program, by the way.

Heisman's over there. Georgia, you think you can outshine Stetson Bennett? Think not? I mean, I think so, but yeah. He's always going to be the guy there. There's just too many Heismans at Bama and Georgia.

I mean, there's no Heismans here. You can be the first. Did Bullet Bill Dudley win the Hysman? Nah. You got ripped off. You would be the first. We offer you unlimited access to Studio J. All the spin drifts in the fridge any time.

You can, I know you're a big babysitter, Arch. You can babysit my kids. my kids as well that was on my list of promises whenever you want you babysit my kids 30 bucks an hour there you see 40 bucks an hour a hundred bucks an hour dude sure i will do i'll do 500 dollars an hour okay i'm gonna go back to 40 i'm i'm staying at 500 an hour and there is there's wiggle room on that i always leave a little wigger room on the top because it's a negotiation i would drink beer with your dad when he comes in town because i know your dad cooper um i like cooper a lot

I'll call your dad Cooper because I think your family likes that. Well, I'll make that promise to you. However you want Cooper pronounced, I will. He probably says dad. I will be your running back that picks up the blitz. Like when your dad comes in town and he wants to drink beer and you want to go out with

your friends and like, hey, dad, I'm hanging out with girls tonight. Like I will, I will fall on that grenade. Like I will hang with Cooper and drink beer. And the college girls? No.

Oh, that's him. That's all, right, right. My bad. My bad. My bad. My bad.

My bad. Yeah. Jesus Christ. My bad. Okay. All right. That's staying in too. Okay.

Okay. Here we go. Okay. Same track here. I'll be as Uber driver. You can call me 247-364. Holy shit. Now let's reserve like Christmas.

Really? You'll probably be prepping for the orange bowl or something. Really? Let's not make promises we can't keep. Okay. 12.7. 364. From the hours of 8 a.m.

to 8 p.m. You will drive Arch wherever he wants to go. Yeah. Okay. arch i will name my my next dog which is not under the frame yet i will purchase a dog and name it arch of your choice um and there's an escalator clause in there that if you win the acc next child arch somewhere in the manning yeah nice if arch manning comes to virginia and gets us in the playoff okay i'll put it this way next child middle name something arch also there used to be a frozen yogurt place here that was kind of

It was called arches, dude. Yeah. We will resurrect that motherfucker. Your family knows all about it. Your family knows all about it. At least your mom and your aunt. Great Wahoos. How about Manning Stadium?

All due respect to the Scott family. Manning Stadium. Manning Stadium. We will try to get that done. Scott, though, it is a last name in this context. It's kind of just a first name. There are Archies at the Stadium. Yeah, we've got Arches.

Arch Stadium. Yeah. No need to make this complicated. Arch Manning Stadium. Arch Field at Manning Stadium. You got any more promises? Because we've got to get Big Cat on. Oh, 10,000 U.S. dollars.

I think you had floated him sleeping with your wife. Look, Arch, you'd have a great time here in trouble. Okay, let's get Dan on. Roeback active wear. Best way to describe Roeback is best fit, best feel. When it comes to quality, Roeback just blows it out of the park every time. First, Roeback's new performance hoodies

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Q-Zips, hoodies, and T's with the code, green light. They just released new gear for the spring, so go check them out at rowback.com. Daniel, I don't know that we've formally met. Yeah, what's up, making? How are you doing, man? Oh, this is electric. Really good, like six out of ten.

How are you? I'm like a 4 and a half. Okay. You lost money yesterday. What up, dude? That and also my, I fucked on my neck.

I don't know. That's a good way to start. That's a good way to start. Yeah. Okay. Dan and Makin finally met. I feel like it went really well. That went good.

I feel like that was, I crushed my portion of it. You didn't do. It was a little weird, like doing the, when he asked someone how are you and he does like the six out of ten that's i didn't that was just a formality all you had to say was okay thank you thank you yeah no i really good to have you on dan it's it is it is you can report that it's it's genuine no it's genuine i'm not good at the just yeah great how are you yeah we're working on the social skills yeah i read an article about how to

be less disagreeable and it's not going so well we we got a guy in our office named Frank the tank who people will probably know uh legend and his rule is that whenever you give him he gives you half of that back so if you say like hey frank how you do it he just goes okay it doesn't ask back like he never he never gives you back but like how are you doing and it's a great way to live life because he just he never has to get into like mindless conversations about things he doesn't want to talk about exactly and if he's going to ask how you're doing there's there's a follow-up question that he expects and then there's the you know six out of ten why are you six out of ten you know that it's not that i expected i just give a thoughtful answer okay like i'm not

i'm i'm i'm a six out of ten today let's get to dan's answer which was four and a half dan i'm four and a half out of ten it's a monday i didn't i didn't sleep well last night my neck is fucked up i jacked my neck up i know we're going to get some parenting stuff yeah how'd you do that so my son is at the age now he's going to be three in June and he's like I don't know 30 pounds whatever and I still carry him on my shoulders because he just loves you know I mean who what kid wouldn't want to fucking ride on the shoulder you know what I mean like my favorite move I cherish every anytime my kid asked me to put him on my shoulders I say yes exactly like that it just he stands there just go shoulders shoulders shoulders please and I'm like of course I'm gonna

fucking throw you up on my shoulders. But this weekend, I had been with March Madness, I had been traveling a bunch. So this was the first weekend that I was home for like the entire weekend. And we were doing everything. Like we went into Manhattan. We took train. We got a haircut. We did everything. And I think my, I'm just fucked because I haven't like I carried him on my shoulders. The entire weekend, dude. Yeah, like eight miles. And so I woke up this morning. I like can't move my neck. So I'm a four and a half out of 10. Have you guys ever put the kid. right into the door frame. Oh, yeah.

The thing you got to watch out for is the metallic door hinge thing, the triangular thing that sticks out, that'll draw blood. You look like a great dad when you bend over and put your hand on the top of the head. And it's like, oh, that dad has good special awareness. My least favorite fucking thing is when somebody's like, hey, watch the door. I'm like, dude, does it look like I haven't done this before? Right. And yeah.

I'm going to be carrying my large son around on my shoulders as an adult, bro. Like, Waylon's going to be six five. I'll be like, hey, hop up here. I'm worried about that. I don't really know the end in sight, but I've made it. I've done even one worse. I put my son into a stop sign like a month ago. That was bad.

I didn't tell his mom about that one. Even he knows what the fuck that means. That's like one of the first things you learn as a kid is what that red sign means. I mean, like he knew. My daughter's 15 months old. At about 12 months, I put her into the top of a door frame. And she started screaming bloody murder. And my wife came downstairs and said, what's wrong?

And I said, I don't. don't know. Yeah, just he fell. Yeah. Sorry. Yeah. Sorry. Yeah. But I'll, yeah, you just got to do the like, all right, uh, do you need like, like you just kiss the boo-bo and hope it's better. I have Christian like this. My son also he has, like I, we don't, we shouldn't do a whole parent thing, but this is funny, like, he has like the tiniest cut on his finger and you know when kids like, like, they get a boo-boo and they're like,

they're just obsessed with it. Like every two minutes, like look at my boo-boo. And so I just keep, I feel like I'm one of like the team doctors on an NFL team. I'm like, do you need to see a doctor? He's like, no. I'm like, all right. Let's stop bringing it up. It's not bringing it up. You're either hurt or you're injured. You're hurt or you're injured. That reminds me a lot. Yeah, like,

constantly bringing the boo-boo up. Hey, Dad, I'm a six out of ten. Like, that's the same kind of thing. My son's going through a phase right now, and this is the last I'll talk about it because he's three. And once he's four, he becomes off-limits talk about on the pot. I feel like there's a like a cutoff where you and your son are going to say,

like, hey, I can't use you for content anymore in any way. And you're really good about this. You keep things very private. And I've learned from you, honestly. You used to be like, dude, I'm like putting my kids in pictures. I was like, oh, that's a good idea.

And I kind of stopped posting my kid in pictures. Yeah, the idea to me is it's nothing more than just like I, it's two parts. One, like my kid is someday, both of my kids are someday going to like figure out what the internet is. And the last thing I want is for their dad to just be like shitting on them constantly. Yes. So I try to like every time I mention, I try to keep it very lighthearted. And two, it is nice to have something at home that is mine.

Like it's private. It's my, it's my own world that I don't, like I. share so much of my life that like when I go home and I have a weekend where it's like I'm my this is going to sound sappy my heart is full with my family I want to have that and I don't have to share it I don't have to go around and be like look we did this and we did this and we went here and we didn't know it's it's mine that's one of the hardest things I think about doing what you do in all honesty because as your peer as your buddy and somebody in the in the in the industry who's like looking at what Dan and PFT have built like the access point is not just great content

in like a podcast, it's also you have to be able to keep people entertained all day. Like, you do that better than anybody. Sometimes I wonder if you have elves tweeting for you. No, I, I, I, dude, I should, I should tweet less. I'm trying every now and then to be like, dude, stop, like, just put it down. I just, I have something in me where it's just like I always want to be on. I'm always on. So it's bad.

Segway, you've been to the masters. How did you do without a cell phone? I've not been in the master's way to do your research, dude. Oh, that's bad. Jesus Christ, dude. Well, you know, the guys at most major sporting events, I'm not even taking this as an L. That's fine. That's on, that's odd research.

I'm not research. I'm talent. Hey, Dan, tell us how the master's would be. Could you survive the Masters without a cell phone? Hey, I can get us out of the sand here. like Cam Smith All right so Rory would have been a better one

Rory yeah And then fucking do like the Fucking his celebration He forgot how to celebrate Yeah he forgot how to celebrate Nick Faldo was like watch this And then Rory threw his clothes And then the best part was Nick Fowldo

Was like watch this And then Jim Nance was like Oh I can spoil too And Morikawa's he's like watch this Yeah What the fuck is your guy's problem Yeah So my question was gonna be

If you went to the Masters How would it be? I think I would love it. I think I would love it. I think I'd be okay. I have been without my cell phone at, I think the, no,

the US Open unless you use it. You know, actually Jay Cutler's wedding. They, they held the cell phones. Oh, that is so lame, Jay Cutler.

And nobody gives a shit. We're not snapping pictures, bro. I remember it perfectly because I was, I was, the Blackhawks were in like either the Western Conference final or the Stanley Cup. And I had to keep going.

to like the entrance of the wedding reception to go like check my phone like they literally were like you can't leave with your phone so just go stand basically outside like check the score put it back into the little cubby and then go back into the wedding eric church loves uncccic basketball more than you love the black hawks because eric church canceled a concert he didn't even go either that or j cutler means more than to you than the fans mean to eric church that's yeah that's Right. You got that at the end. I care more about Jay than Eric Church cares about his fans. And I stand with Eric Church on that in multiple ways, but I do stand with Eric Church. Okay, so the master's going to be sick. One day we're all going to go. Probably not the same year.

But I would be glad to park my cell phone. Like, I think this has got to be one of the most bucket listy kind of. I mean, this is obvious, but it's where would you put it on the bucket listy sporting event? Let's do your Mount Rushmore here in brief. We're not going to pick you pick. enough to do a lot of sporting events. Like, and I've gone to a lot of stuff, but that definitely is up there with one of the, like, events where it's like, I know I'm going to go eventually and I just can't wait for it. Like, I'm so excited for it. I don't think I'll have a problem with the cell phone.

It feels like everyone, you know, we had Scott Van Pelt on our show today, and he said that, like, everyone who's ever gone that he's talked to, they've said it's exceeded the hype. It's been better than what they expected. And I believe that. So the one thing I do love about the mask. is the menu that everyone just goes crazy over where it's like a $2 sandwich and it just forgetting the fact that like it's $10,000 to get it. Also, everybody's rich.

Everybody's rich. Right. Dude, like, oh, my God. Pimento cheese makes it worth it. It's $2.50. I'm like, dude, you flew here on a fucking on a private jet. Yes. Yeah.

They're like, this is crazy. They're so nice to keep the prices down. It's like, there's not one person at the Masters who isn't fucking filthy rich. It's also the classic when you're rich and important, you get free shit. It's like when you got a bunch of big cat or big dog stuff. Yes. Yeah, which you got some too. I got some big dog stuff, but I didn't get to.

I had to talk with big dogs. I wanted to buy the brand and they like don't want to sell it. And I was like, what are you going to do with it, big dogs? And they're like, we got plans. We're burying it like a bone, dude. Yeah. Like, okay. They're like, yeah, we got this whole like, the one guy told me, like, we have this

anthology, like this entire archives of big dogs. It's like, okay. You're going to release what, like a 9-11 big dog shirt? Like what? That's going to sell? I don't know. They did have one. It was like, I'm going to hunt Osama bin Laden.

It was awesome. It was sick. Osama bin Laden's thinking about all the Navy seals that can kick down his doors. No, it's a fucking St. Bernard in the end. Free shit goes to rich people, and that's what it sounds like happens at the Masters. Well, the rich people didn't get rich by paying 13 bucks for a pimento cheese. No. There's some frugal-ass rich people.

Yeah. Well, another thing is, like, I kind of wonder what, I wonder what feels worse, getting canceled for a day on Twitter, because you've been canceled before for a day on Twitter or getting. Yeah, I guess I have for being escorted after or being escorted out of the Masters for not having a cell phone. I feel like it's got to be the masters because you got to like, it's the biggest walk of shame in sports. It's not like when you fuck up court side, you just go like right to the tunnel. I feel like you have to walk by all the magnolias. Everybody knows. Like there's probably a guy with a certain shirt that's like cell phone violator,

escort or guy, you know, like an RMC shirt, but for the guy that takes the people with cell phones out. And like how easy is it to just not like I know I'm addicted to my cell phone. You guys probably dig your cell phones. But if you're at the master's that's the one thing. I have no problem giving it up and just enjoy. the moment. Like I almost want to go to the master just so that I can have an excuse to not look at my cell phone for 12 hours. By the way, I just looked it up. It's the big dog and it says

Asela Vista bin Laden. And in the hot dog is Osama bin Laden. So that's so New York. That's so great. Oh, fuck, dude. So we're talking about the masters. Like, were you shocked by by anything you saw yesterday? Like, I'm not a huge golf fan. You need. know that, Dan. Like I, I'm kind of learning as I go. I didn't know there was a cut until this year's master. So like, I know that sometimes in our group chat, you know, like, God damn, dude. Some of the people in the Calcutta have just decided fuck it. Brooks Kebka, right? Brooks Kebka, yeah. Oh, your guy, he didn't make the cut. Anything you were shocked about this weekend? I wasn't shocked about anything. It was, I was kind of boring overall just because Scotty

Sheffler was, um, so good. He was just so good. I also, I had to take it. I don't know if you you guys know, I'm sure through your travels have met people from Dallas and like Texas area. It might even just be dudes from the south. I saw this. Like Scotty Sheffler is the perfect dude from the south where something about a dude from Texas, they're 25, but they're really 45 and they got married when they're like 23. Oh yeah. They're already like well progressed in their career.

And you're just like, whoa, why do you have your shit together so much? It makes me feel like childish when I meet somebody like that with a nice collared shirt. in the white golf hat and they're just like talking to me about serious thing like financial literacy or like their their internship in New York at Goldman Sachs or this course they played like, dude, I'm a child, bro. Like this guy is a grown man. I totally agree with you. May I add on a theory to this theory.

Speeth is also from Texas. And unfortunately for these guys, the, like their maturity is advanced, their hairline is also fairly advanced. So I think when you start to see the power alleys, Yeah. And hey, dude, you got good hair. But when you start to see the power alleys develop, it's like, I got to get this show on the road or else I'm going to be in a bad spot. I got to grow up. Yeah, but he's like, you know, that's a good point making, but it's like, Scotty Schaeffler, he's 25. I'm 13 years older than him.

And like, I would ask him for help on my taxes. No question. He's like, he just, he seems way more put together than me. No question, dude. I don't know what it is. No question. Hey, dude, that slack job motherfucker was just hitting shots. He put backspin like I was playing the Tiger Woods video game. On what hole was that, Cowboy, Reed?

You know the golf. Whole 14. The guy, as soon as he put backspin on that shot, I was like, okay, this is over, right? I was asking the guys, like, there's no way anybody comes back. I was rooting for Cam Smith, probably as was everybody else over at your office. But, yes. I mean, that guy's good for content. Yeah, he would have been great.

And then the tiger thing, I don't know, I got, I had, I had tiger fanboys up my ass all day on Sunday because I was like, Thursday was awesome. It was great to watch. Exciting. There were a lot of people who were like, ooh, Tiger like will be contending for this thing. They can't pretend that that conversation didn't happen because I had it. I remember I thought I was like, ooh, this could be interesting. Sunday he's hurt, limping, shooting like shit. And I was like, it's kind of depressing watching him right now.

He's not, he's not tiger. And like the goalpost moves so fast with Tiger fans are like, dude, it's just awesome that he's out there. It's awesome that he's alive. Are you saying that you're not happy he's alive? Yeah. Yeah. Like everything that he's gone through. It's crazy that you would say this.

I was like, I just was pointing out the fact that he's limping and shooting like shit and it's kind of sad to watch. I'm sorry. I kind of think he's got a little, and I mean this respectfully because I respect Tiger way more than the team I'm about to mention. But I think there's a little Dallas Cowboys in there. It's like there was a time when the Cowboys being in the playoffs, like, really meant something. And I know this isn't a clean analogy. So somebody's going to pick this thing apart. But the Cowboys now, when they get in, everybody's like, it's good for football because it just brings everybody up out of their seats.

But they're done the first game, maybe the second game. They're not the Cowboys from the 90s. This isn't Tiger from back in the day. I'm no huge golf fan. Like, the power's not there anymore. And I totally get it. Like the club used to sound different to me. Am I wrong?

Like, no, well, you're, you are going to get it. I'm going to get it now. They're going to be like, bro, swing speed still there. Torque still there. Like, yeah, maybe he missed a few puts. That's the things. They'll be like, the scores are there. He's just missing some puts.

Like, dude, he's 25 shots off the lead. Now the, yeah. Now, the difference between the Cowboys and Tiger for me is I'm going to root for Tiger. Right. Like, I hope he wins. In a game that's full of like robots or at least that's what they marketed the PGA as for a long time, like to me, like golfers. like tiger is a human interest story

dude it's it's it's great here's the flip side of tiger twitter yeah okay he wins you're all happy you know he um he cheated on his wife and he did drugs what do you want me to say exactly no I'm saying that's just you get it from all angles with tiger tiger he's came up in the age of the internet he's an interesting human interest story dude he's a fascinating story and and I would go off that

maybe I do feel I'm not going to be like the poo poo and everyone's fun when like I was I bet on Tiger this weekend to finish top 20. I was rooting for him. The like redemption story arc that everyone's like, he came back from this, this horrific accident. The accident still feels weird to me because the police didn't say shit. I think that's fair to say. Something was up and I, I, like, I don't, I try not to judge a lot in life, but I do think that like people who drive under the influence are true. You should. I'm not, I'm not judging, but what I, what I'm not doing, like, when I pull for Tiger. It's more just insanity that he's functioning at a high level playing golf and doing

it again. Like he's buddy Lee. It's not to me that I'm like, look at this redemption arc from the time he crashed his car and it was probably his fault. And he's a human being and people make big mistakes. I think that's what's interesting about Tiger to me is like he is so great. He's infiltrated this sport that's like so buttoned up. And he's kind of at different points been a train wreck and been able to survive his own mistakes and redeem himself. You're absolutely right. I actually, now that you're saying it, I think you're spot on

that, like, Tiger Woods is probably he might be the most interesting athlete of all time besides Muhammad. That's what I'm saying. He deserves a biopic, biopic. I don't know. We're still not sure. We're not sure yet. But one of those things he deserves. Maybe both. Mount Rushmore

redemption along with Jowan Howard. Yeah, no, I know. I didn't want to draw the straight line to Jawan because I just think that's gotten so touchy too but yeah Mark Titus could probably color in lines on this wait what's touchy about Juan Howard he needs help he needs anger management he's smush Joe grabbing off

in the face oh what's touchy there's nothing touchy about it but it's the same kill Mark Turgeon when after they lost this year it was hey you know like after everything that he that's he's been through and like I usually reserve been through for things that you didn't

that you didn't cause in some form or fashion external force. But I'm also not judging Juan either. So like, you know, the Tennessee kid, when he was trying to, he was trying to squeeze that kid to death. You could see it. You was trying to suck the air out of him. Yes. Yes, dude. That just shows how horrible a person he is. The Dr. Howard thing is so funny. I love, I love that story so much because people took that way too seriously. It's like the man. Yeah. Lost is cool and smushed another man in the face. It's happened a million times in sports, but it also can't be like the redemption story. And by the way, My last thing on the Masters before we get to read around the world here.

It's a thrill ride, Dan, and you're about to fucking strap in. But my last take is that Rory should start playing golf earlier. He should start the Masters like two days early to warm up so that when the cut, whatever the fuck that is on Thursday and Friday happens, Rory is in full swing. He's doing all the stuff that he was doing Sunday. He needs to warm up. I don't know why he wouldn't start golfing earlier in the week.

This is like a thing he does. You know, they do practice. There are practice rounds. Make it more serious. Raise the stakes. It can't be practice. I would, I'd be going crazy if I was worried right now.

Like that, that would drive me nuts. If I played that well, I was like, oh, if I just shot a little bit better on Saturday and Friday, like I would have won this thing.

That would, that would, I know everyone's like, what a great round. That's incredible. I would, if I were worried, I'd walk in the clubhouse and be like,

what the fuck's your problem, dude? You had that in you. Why not, why not do that four days in a row? I know it's easier said than done, but that would actually drive me nuts if I were Rory. And it's not like garbage time for like stat, you know,

occurring quarterbacks in the NFL. Like it's golf. Like the pressure is high. It doesn't matter. There's no context. So it is fucking maddening if you're like Rory or somebody who wait to the fourth quarter. Cowboy Reed, take it away. We've got Reed around the world with Dan Katz.

Is the master's championship the best championship an athlete can win in American sports? Everybody knows this because they don't know what else to fucking. you know, like introduce me as whenever I do anything, but I'm a Super Bowl champion. Two times. Two times. Two times. Walter Peyton Man of the Year. That's my answer.

How about that? But I don't think it's as cool as winning the Masters. If you're a golf guy, pothead is my answer. Hothead, yeah, you motherfucker. So I don't think it's as cool as winning the Masters. What do you guys say? This might or might not be a real name, okay? Yeah.

Do you know who Danny Willett is? Yeah, he's a golfer. Okay. All right. Okay. But Charles Schwartzel? Yes, golfer. Okay.

Throw in a football player. I'm just going to say golf. You know Mike Weir? Ooh. I know Bob Weir, huh? Huh? Yeah. You fucking pothead.

You're a pot head. Mike Weir was Rick Santhorum. Mike Weir. That was I helped his point there. Thank you. Rick Santorum. Thank you, Dan. Yes.

So I just, I, like, my thing is this. And Dan, I don't know where you weigh in on this, but like, if you are, a master's champion. Not only is that cooler in being like in the Hall of Fame even because no offense to my dad, but that jacket, I've never seen it anywhere of fun. It's always in the closet. Like people are afraid to get anything on that jacket. I feel

like the master's jacket, they treat it like the Stanley Cup. I think these guys go out and get really shit-faced with their jacket on decades later, like and it's fun. And also, if you're a Super Bowl champion and I rolled up to like a play 60 shoot at the NFL and was like, hey, kids want to throw the ball around, I look like a try hard.

These guys can be They can big dick people in a socially acceptable way the rest of their life. Like, I'm playing with Masters Champion today. And every rich athlete likes golf. So you become like a legend. Like, people don't give a fuck about me. That's true. You know what I'm saying?

So that's my take is the Masters is the best championship in sports. Dan. Okay. I, it's up there. It's got to be. It has to be up there because of everything you said is the exclusivity. It's that dinner that everyone sits there. And like only Masters champions are invited to.

I'll throw two others out there. And I do think there's still something with the Heisman. There's just something about the Heisman where it's like, I don't know. It just maybe this is just a bias towards football. But if you're in that club, there's something cool about it. And then in terms of team sports, I always, my answer is always a Stanley Cup, just because you can drink out of it. Yes.

It's the coolest trophy. It's by far, like if you watch every, I don't know how. you guys partied in Philly or in Boston after you won the Super Bowl, Chris. I've been lucky enough to hang out with like teams that have won stuff. The Stanley Cup, like, it's by far the closest team and those guys go fucking crazy and it's by far the coolest party and you get to drink out of the cup and then you get the cup for a day. So that would still be my answer for a team sport.

Yeah. And actually to prove your point, like when I went to the Aspies after we won a Super Bowl, like I forget, but it was 2018 maybe. Yeah, it was right before I retired. I opted to party with the St. Louis Blues. Right. Like, I was like, I'm going out with Patrick Maroon. Like, yes.

I know, like, I got some teammates in town, but like, we'll catch up in a, you know, because those guys had just won the cup. They fucking know how to party. And your name goes on the cup, right? Everybody's name. Yes. How do they do that? You keep adding.

You keep adding to it. How small is your name? Pretty small. Yeah. It's like, yeah. No, it's a good point. And the thing with the Heisman to me is though, it's not the penultimate uh accomplishment that'd be uh second to last oh well it's not the ultimate one either

okay there you go well it is the penultimate accomplishment is what it is because you could go to the NFL and do any anything like it could be bad it could be good and i think at that point the heisman almost like it works for you where you're from but then it like kind of could work against you like the guys was a heisman winner like you know that kind of thing where the guy puts his hand out like he was a fucking win her right like the um what's his name uh o j simpson right oh oh who you're gonna say no i mean crouch crouch is a perfect example yeah yeah it's a perfect example i don't remember that he won the he he won the heisman other than for that fact right so yeah i don't know right what do you say uh prisoner of the moment i like the masters yeah there we go be making you people eat black cod black cod

next year. It would be good for a pescatarian like me. I hope Matsuyama wins it again. I would just have hot dogs. It would be sick. I just be like everyone's got to, we get, we got to eat our way out of this room. Yeah, what were your, what would your master's dinner be? Who would be that? It would just be hot dogs. It was like appetizer, pigs in a blanket. Menu, hot dogs. Like, yeah, the dessert, corn dog dog cupcake. Corn dogs. Like, you know, how they make it like, like, what? is a cake.

There's hot dogs. Yes. Actually, corn dog cupcake. That's perfect. That's perfect. Yeah. The sinner is a dog.

Somebody invent that. I think we just did. Okay. The after March madness, Coach K is gone. Who do we hate now? Where does the hate shift? You guys were on the front lines with me.

Yeah. Oh, yeah. We were in front lines. Were you passing out my sheets? I, to be honest, I forwarded the PDF or whatever.

was to my wife so that she once I started getting why do you care so much why do you hate him so much I forwarded your hate sheet to her and she got it she got it a lot better so yeah thank you it was so thrilling being in new Orleans I passed out probably 500 of those but to hand it to a Duke fan and have them be like what's this and then watches their reaction they're like huh I didn't know that sucks I'm pretty young dude this guy sucks but um I don't know I My hate personally is just going to go towards Aaron Rogers, but Coach K is truly like, he was one of a, my point about the whole thing and people are like, oh, you're obsessed with Coach K,

if you are a coach and you do a retirement tour, which is a ridiculous thing to begin with, I get to do a hate retirement tour. Yeah. Like you made it about you. I'm going to make it even more about you in a negative way. So less than to everyone out there, don't do a retirement tour.

You really leave the back door. in there. I think it's Gonzaga. I think it's Gonzaga and the irony is that they haven't even done the thing that makes everybody hate them. Like they found a way to be hated without doing the thing that makes everybody hate them, dude? Jay Cuddy, don't care. I just don't care about Gonzaga. So there's going to be a hate void for you? Maybe. Well, I mean, yeah, here's the thing. The final four. I raise you Kim Jong-un. The final four for us, personally. Virginia fans could not have gone better with with coach k getting humiliated by carolina and then carolina losing it was perfect it was perfect because we didn't want carolina to win obviously because the acc but even if you picked out

a hubert davis bringing home a title and coach k's victory tour landing perfectly like we didn't want hubey to have a title in his first year in the ac that would have fucked up the power and nolan smith has a low-key huge anger problem that would have been better if he had stayed i could have i could have transferred some of it but john shire i don't know we'll see i don't think he's going to be great the recruiter will be there for a couple years. But he did you see when he took over that one game? They were up by about 25 and nearly lost it when Coach K had a boo-boo. I think you're,

I think you're answering your own question right now. The hate is just going to stay on Duke. I think it's staying at Duke. Like, yeah, you found a way. Yeah. I've struggled with this too, making like I hate Coach K. I'm not going to, I'm honest about my hate. Like I don't, I don't, I'm not a hateful guy.

I like to stay pretty positive. I will continue to hate Duke. I don't think I'm not going to hate John Shire right away. I'm sure eventually he'll do something that will make me hate him, but I'm not going to be like, oh, yeah, I'm going to keep that same energy that I have for Coach K for John Shire. Why would I do that? Like he's,

I didn't really hate him that much. He wasn't like one of the most hateable Duke guys when he was there. So I think the answer for you is Duke and I'll join you in that. I will still hate the entity, the brotherhood of Duke. Duke and Carolina, Virginia Tech, of course, number one for us. For you in the Big Ten, who's your Virginia Tech?

So Wisconsin's got a weird. It's Minnesota is like the traditional biggest rival. That's got to be fun to watch that guy row an imaginary boat every time a player gets hurt. Just row out to him. I know there'll be some Minnesota fans and be like, dude, you know, we beat you two out of the last three or four or something. But we really do like own them like badly. I think there was, they beat us this year. They beat us like a three.

or three years ago. That was the first time they had beaten us in like 18 years in football. Right. And we kicked the shit out of them in basketball. So like it, it kind of varies. It's like basketball. It's, it's, it was Michigan State for a while just because we were the two best teams for a while there. Yeah, it's not it's not like a Virginia, Virginia tech thing. There's no in state. Nobody's beaten anybody 15 times in a row in football. So no, it's not a Virginia Virginia Tech thing. Yeah. Dan,

you're into F1. We are not into F1 yet. We're losers. You need to sell us. Tell us about F1. Okay. Easy. Two answers that are very,

very easy. One is the drive to survive Netflix show is awesome. Okay. You guys would both like it. And on top of that, I think your wives would like it. Like,

it's got all the drama. It's just a great show. Really well done. I wasn't a car guy. watched it was was hooked to it's free sports like people i like to watch soccer i don't i'm not like obsessed with soccer i like to watch e pl because it's free sports it's on before the real sports are on in america so f1 doesn't i'm very open about my f1 fandom like as soon as football starts i just kind of erase it from my entire calendar but in the summer on a sunday morning there's a race

going on at 9 a.m. It's nice to have on in the background, you know? Yeah. It's free sports. Yeah, I like the noise too. Tangent. Tangent. Best time zone in the U.S. to watch sports. For sports. Central.

Correct. Not even close. Correct. Right answer. You want to try to rebut that? You just give me the sports. I'll watch it. I'm committed to my craft. Even East Coast when we're having to go to bed at 1 a.m. I kind of would like West Coast, honestly. No. Is that crazy? That's 9. That's 10 a.m. NFL. That feels weird.

You're up anyways, bro. Like, let's just get this thing started. Nothing I hate more than the Sunday scary's kicking in during the afternoon games, where I'm starting to hangover starting to turn into anxiety. And back in the day, we used to talk about this, Philip Rivers, just doing Philip Rivers things while you're starting to have, like, you know, a panic attack. Like, I like that earlier in the day. I don't know.

The problem with the West Coast is, and every West Coast person would be like, dude, West Coast, best time zone. They don't even watch sports the same way. They go. They stroll in for the second half of games. Every time someone says West Coast, I'm like, dude, do you realize that that means that on a college football Saturday, kickoff is at 9 a.m., which means I have to basically have all my shit together by 7.30 to get my bets ready. Like that's a part that's a part that doesn't get. At 1 a.m., dude, you got to get your bets in drunk like me at 1 a.m. And I don't know that that works, but, I mean, it would work on the West Coast.

So. Oh, and so people always like, like, Saturday morning and Sunday morning, I want to be able to spend a little time with my family, get my head right for the bets. So that, if someone says West Coast,

I just assume they don't have kids and they don't gamble. Well, Jesus Christ, because it's the opposite here. I just haven't thought it through, I guess. Well, do you ever make a bet Saturday night and forget about it?

And then Sunday, you're like, oh, God, I just realized I have the Cardinals. I have done that. I have also done. done back in the day

I've done a couple times where it's like I bet on something that I thought was going to happen tomorrow and I didn't read the date right and it was like a soccer game that was like a month away. Yes. And I'm like well this fucking sucks and just stare at it. Yeah. Stair it for a month. So F1 I'm sold on it. Central Time Zone I'm sold

on those as well. Easy. Free sports. Free sports. Doug Eddert transfers to Bryant University. One of the best spring flings of all time in terms of March Madness. Who else is at the top of your spring flings?

I just mean, and you can expand, you can expand this to any sport, Dan, because I know you guys got your flavors of the month, and then you don't call these kids anymore at pardon my take. You know, it's Doug Edder for six weeks, and he could die and you wouldn't even come to his funeral. You wouldn't send flowers. So who's your favorite young athlete

who's not making any money that pardon my take just fucking puts in a washing machine for a month and then forgets about. Damn. I'm trying to think about who. Who in the tournament, like Wally Zurbiac was an all-time one, old school Maction. Remember when he had his tournament run? Yes.

Ali Farooke Manash. Yep, Northern Iowa. Crutwig recently was a big spring fling for me. And then we had one in baseball. Stephen Shock. Oh, big donkey. Scooch. Yeah.

You know, you see, he's like, I don't even know who that is. They fucking did a bunch of Stephen Shock content. No, I know who it is. It's the college baseball player, right? What's his favorite color? Fuck, I don't know. No, I'm just joking. I don't either.

But Steve is a Virginia guy, and he got real famous for like two months. He's still kind of famous doing this thing online. We shout out to Stephen Shock. He'd probably be my favorite spring fling. We had one. Fuck, now I don't even know his name. That's kind of proving the point. He was a runner.

It was only six. months ago. I saw him on a race. Like I was basically about to go to sleep and everyone was like, dude, you got to watch this guy run. And he had like a mullet and he lost. He didn't make it to the Olympics. And I was like justice for this guy. And I was really into him for like I think I see him. Dude. He went to Ole Miss. Yeah. What's his name? Craig Engels. Craig Engels. Jesus Christ. Look at this guy, dude. Great dude. He came on the show. Look at this guy. Wow. Yeah. Great interview. everything. And then like a week after we had him on the show, there was like something where

it was like, yeah, he's going to be in New York. We should do like a, a beer mile with him. And I was like, nah. That's what I'm talking about. That's what I'm talking about, dude. I love the dude, though. I died for that dude. Hey, I would die for that dude in that six week period. All right. We have two members of Tuenon here today. is the two and on slash dolphins are those the craziest fans in sports well like what are the crazy like if it's not two and on who is crazier than two and on

and by the way welcome the meeting of the minds here where's my hat? Yeah we make teas like this yeah do you have the stats to back it up because this idiot Chris is like doesn't know what he's talking about of course he wants to talk about

downfield yardage and shit you don't you know touchdown can be from a yard out is what he doesn't get. Deep ball. That's interesting. Yeah, here we go. That's good. Tua actually was number one in deep ball completion percentage. Yeah, four of seven, four of seven. Actually, no, that's wrong.

On 29 passes of 20 plus yards, he completed 14. That's a deep ball? The problem is, Chris. That's a deep ball, Dan? Chris, that's a deep ball? Chris, that's a deep ball. Chris, the problem is he had the 30 second offensive line. He had no time whatsoever.

I've heard this. Throw it deep. Yeah. So when he has to throw it deep, he's fucking money. Yeah. On target 69.6% of the time. Both, that leads the NFL. By the way, Patrick Mahomes, just so you know,

29.9% of his throws were behind the line of scrimmage. That was good for second highest in the NFL. So this idea that Patrick Mahomes is like throwing deep balls? Yeah, he's not a deep ball thrower according to you. Are you out of your mind? Tyree Kill is going from the QB that had the fifth shortest average pass distance in the NFL last season. Patrick Mulams to the QB with the fourth shortest average pass distance. They're the same guy.

And are these air yards? Yeah. 20 plus. Okay, good. Congratulations. Find me a quarterback who can't throw the ball 20 yards down the field. It's 2022, Dan. Chad Pennington.

Where would you rank? Where would you rank to in the AFC? We did this here. Is he below or above? I am talking to it to and odd. Tuo, by the way, he's clutch. In the fourth quarter, he's the clutchest quarterback ever. He's got better numbers than Justin Herbert in the fourth quarter.

He's also got the highest yards per averaging the fourth quarter. He's got the second highest completion percentage in the fourth quarter. I want a guy who wins. Yeah. Who is going to win? Here's one, two. I'll just end it with this and make it. I don't know if you have this stat.

But last year, the dolphins won every single game they played against a quarterback with an O in their last name. And they lost every single game they played against a quarterback without an O in their last name. What's that schedule look like this year? I think that's 11 and 6. I went through it 11 and 6. So I said I was on Lovetard. I said if 2 wins the Super Bowl as a dolphin, not as the guy holding a clipboard in 10 years or something. Like, if he wins a Super Bowl as a dolphin, I'm getting it to a tattoo.

And I have never felt less nervous about a tattoo. Like, never. And so I just want you to, as members of two and on, do you think that Tua wins a Super Bowl, a playoff game? Like, what is it this year that the dolphins are going to do? Wait, you have, you have like a million tattoos. I know. You're unlocking this. You should have to have sex with the dolphin.

In the blowhole. In the blowhole? You should have to fuck the blowhole. Oh man, I can't wait to get PETA all over you worldwide. No, they've already dealt with them. I've already dealt with them. Are they toothless? They're nothing.

I'm not fucking a dolphin. Big cat's right. How old is Ken Flagell? 67 years old. You have a 67-year-old goate bald man. The linebackers coach. For your information. On your rib cage.

What's, what's to a, you know, like what's another portrait? Right. I'm collecting heads. I'm with Dan. Dan, what do you... That would be like me, that'd be like me saying, if Tua wins the Super Bowl, I'm going to make a bet. No, that's not true. That's not true.

That's just not true. Dan, you and I are one of... If Tua wins a Super Bowl, I'm going to give, I'll give Arch Manning my car. Perfect. Okay. Dan, you'll fuck a dolphin. Dan, we are two of the 10,000 followers of Tijuana on Twitter. You are one of six that Tijuana follows in addition to Tua and...

to his family. What say you to the accusations that you are to an on? No comment. Expect us. It really did sound like that. So who's crazy? Can we put on our normal hats now? Can we slide out of your dolphin suit? And can you tell me your craziest fan bases? Craziest fan bases. It's got to be like an SEC football team. Like, right? I don't mean crazy. like man they love their sports like crazy like restraining order I'll kick it off Bronies

and for those who don't know a brony is an adult male fan of the Hasbro animated series My Little Pony Yes friendship is magic Are they just out of control? Oh yeah really Well yeah dude they're bronies

Yeah they fuck like They're furries They're furries Yeah I've heard about this You should have to become a brony for a year Furries, they keep their whole mascot outfit on, they just put a hole in it where they, where the piece comes out.

Yep. Yep. I'm going to say Tiger fanboys are pretty crazy. I'm now, I consider myself part of this fan base adjacent because of my coach Doug's career. But I have heard, so I've only dealt with the nice side of it, but I have heard Tennessee volunteer Twitter can be a bit much at times. Okay. That's interesting.

Yeah. It's funny. I just did not know. there were so many, again, I'm not trying to poke the dolphin, but I did not know there were so many fucking dolphins fans. I guess a lot of people's dads like Dan Marino. And the colors.

And the colors. They have some fire uniforms. The old, the old unies. Okay. So Frank Vogel was reportedly fired according to sources. Who is LeBron going to recruit next? Yeah, this is like, this is your wheelhouse here. What's

predict LeBron's offseason moves? He wants, he wants staff. He's probably going to try to get Luca. He's probably going to try to get Janice. The guy has no end. He's going to do everything he can to get the best players on his team. And then when things go wrong, he's going to blame him. And then like Anderson Verrajao.

Yeah. Or something like that. Yeah. Twain Wade comes back. Yeah. Larry Hughes. Yes. Who's his point card? Big Z.

Just naming guys from the Cleveland team. Eric Snow. Eric Snow. Eric Snow. What was Damon? What's his name? Damon has a child with Tina Thompson. Really?

Fun fact. Yeah. Who the hell is Damon? Damon Jones. Damon Jones. Damon Jones. Okay, that's good. That's probably that's,

those are the moves. Yeah. Here's one. Last player coach we ever had was Dave Cowens, 1979. He can coach the Lakers. Yeah. LeBron's going to coach the Lakers.

He's already the GM, so he can just hire himself. He's the Tom Brady of, yeah, this year. We have some celebrity couple news. J-Lo and Ben Affleck. They're back.

Going to be married. Fiances. Betrothed. Who are your other favorite celebrity couples? Well, that's not my, that's my least favorite, and you know that.

That's fucking, could you imagine dating another celebrity just so that people will talk about you? Do you think that's what's going on here? 100% what's going on. J-Lo is like, I need another celebrity.

I don't know, like a guy who's maybe a sports guy, maybe not. And I'm just going to date him and have everyone talk about me. And it's all bullshit. It's disgusting. Oh, there you go. Actually, to tie into the last two questions ago, J-Lo fans are the craziest. Oh, that's interesting. I fight with like 15-year-old girls on Twitter constantly.

Bro, I don't know how you do it, honestly. It's so fun. J-Ludging Tiger Woods fans and J-Lo fans. I'll give you one. Harrison Ford and Colissa Floss. Did you know that? Oh, nice. You knew that?

Yeah, everybody knows that. Do you know that, Dan? I can't say I knew that. See? She's from, you know. She's way different in the age. Ali McBeal. Wait,

Alyssa explains it all? Oprah Winfrey and Stedman. Clarissa explains it all. Yeah, Stedman. Yeah, Stedman. And then I like this one, Erike Iglesias and Anna Kornicova because that's like...

They're together? Oh, yeah. Didn't know that. Did you? They just took a freeze frame of like 2001. They're just living in 2001. I think if you go to their house,

like everything's like turn of the century. Like, yeah, yeah, that's a good one. You stalked Anna Kornicova once. Yeah. She was on a redemption.

She had been injured. She was on a get back tour. She stopped in Charlottesville, Virginia for some minor tourney. And she lost. And then when you play a tournament at this resort, you're staying at the resort. So kind of sort of followed her back to her room,

saw her go into the room and then waited a little bit. So it wasn't as if I had been following her. Knocked on her door. She opens the door in a towel. Swear to God. You know, she had just played taking a shower in a towel. And she said, and I'll do the accent. What de fuck are you doing?

Get out of my fucking room. Which was cool because it wasn't like, For people at home, he was 14. No, no, no, no. I was 16. I was trying to give you two very important years. He's 35. But then, Dan, I wrote about the experience to the University of Michigan, who then granted me admission.

And the school called my college counselor and was like, hey, that essay was kind of weird, but we'll take them. You are supposed to write something like that set you apart? Right. This guy is a fucking serial killer. Speaking of college admissions, we had a special visitor on grounds this week. How do we land Arch Manning in 2023? Arch Manning. T-shirts.

T-shirts. No, we're going to do an Arch-23 merch thing. So, like, people at home can buy that. They'll be cool for, like, two weeks. We should make the Sabres into a big arch. Yeah, that's cool. Yeah. Until he commits to Ole Miss or Alabama or Texas in the next two weeks.

like those shirts are going to sell like hot cakes. What would you do if you were us? What would you promise to Arch? I mean, I was in a similar situation with Caleb Williams. I slid into his DMs and I was like, bro, let's make some t-shirts. Like I'll push some merch. So I think you guys got to do the same. It didn't work.

Did he respond? No. No, no, no, no. That's an ugly feeling. Yeah, it was not right. Not nice. Not nice. Text back.

Okay, we got to let him go in a second here. but I wanted to ask about two things. We could ask them about the Mountain Reed and Macon's question about old age. The mountain's a no-go. I don't know about that, Dan. We talked about Killy, and you committed to climbing Kilimanjaro with me.

Are you going to climb again? I have a friends and family year that I'm holding. I've done it four times, so people like Nick Foles, my brother, guys that have, like, said they want to climb. I'll climb again with my kids for sure. so then I'll do that. Okay, that sounds like a verbal commitment to climb Mount Kilimanjaro from Dan Katz.

I forgot the friends and family thing. Yeah, I'll do. If Howie and Kyle and my son is of age as well, I will do it. So that's what it has to be. Jesus Christ, he knows he's going to be dead by then. Yeah. No, that was great by me. What does of age mean when it comes to climbing a mountain?

I think 12. Oh. No. Yeah. Kilimanjaro. I'm 18? It's easy. Well, actually, he could do it right now on my shoulders.

He could do it right now on his shoulders. That's perfect. Okay. And then lastly, we have Macon's question. I don't know that this is a fully formulated question. We're old people. For the sake of this conversation, let's call us all 37 years old. We are.

And we're 37 Club, as he put it. And we're podcasting? That's a little weird. And are we just? Mostly for you, it's weird. It's weird. Because you're also a real estate. It was funny.

This is all we kind of do. My in-laws were in-town this weekend, like extended in-laws. And they were like, oh, so a podcast, okay, that's interesting. And tell us about it. And oh, Sean Payton, we've heard of him. And then it turned into who do you have next week? And I was like, well, Big Cat. And then at that moment, I realized they have no idea who the arguably most famous person in

our industry is Dan Katz. Right. And I tried to sort of start to explain it and it didn't go anywhere. It's like it's a popular show. They have on. But question being, we're becoming old people. Do we feel stupid doing this? Do we just wait until our kids get to be like 1315 and then we start to get back into

the mix through them? Yeah. I've struggled with this because there's nothing worse than asking someone like or having someone be like, hey, what do you do? It's like a podcast. It sucks. Oh, really? Yeah, dude.

It sucks. They're just like the disappointment in their face. Like, no, it actually like it's a pretty good living. It's pretty successful. But then you're bragging. You know what I mean? Then you're like, but look,

here's my podcast. Yeah. So I think you nailed it, though. It's going to be these next. So 37 to like 40, I think we got. We're good. We're still on lock.

I think 40 to like 48-ish is going to be tough for us. And then we're going to be able to have a swing back when our kids are able to put us on to like popular things. At what age are you going to stop doing things that are childish? Because I wonder this myself. like what age am I going to be like a grown-up? Like Scotty Shuffler. Yeah. Like when do we turn it to Scotty Shepler?

So you're going to be 60. Yeah. In the crowd at Wisconsin. I'm probably going to be 60 years old with a fucking stack of pieces of paper in my pocket walking around, you know, the final four saying John Shire is the Antichrist. That's what's going to out. Hey, do you think it's harder to age as a rapper? or a podcaster?

I think podcasters because we haven't seen it yet. That's the thing. It's like we're never, we're uncharted territory. Yeah. We're walking into the wilderness. No one's ever been where we've been trying to podcast into your 40s and 50s. Brave souls.

Yeah. Vasco da Gama's over here. Yes. You can catch Dan on part of my take if you've ever fucking heard of it. Probably not. It's not that, it's not that important. Thank you for your time, Dan.

I love doing this anytime. I'm going to say this right now. I went from a four and a half when I started this to I'm now a solid two out of 10. This is great. We just gave him a mood boner. So we're going to leave him with that. Thanks, Dan. Appreciate you, buddy.

All right. See you guys. See you, dude. If you're in Arizona, Colorado, Indiana, New Jersey, New York, Michigan, Tennessee, or Virginia, and you haven't tried the Winbet app yet, I got great news for you. Winbet is now offering $200 in free bets for new users. That's right, 200 big ones. Winbet is basically giving you free money.

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So do we want to get into Greenlight Donut Gate? And let me just remind the listeners of what's going on, basically, has a local donut shop that he likes and does not want us to spread the name of because they have limited availability of donuts which is arguable because I went in there yesterday very late the many donuts all right you guys have questions for me what's the deal yeah why can we not talk about your donut shop okay you guys are idiots and King idiot is doctor facts I don't give a flying fox about the donuts. I don't even eat the donuts. I've eaten the donuts on about three occasions.

They're delicious. If I get a craving for a donut, I would love to be able to go there and there be donuts. And Nate, Dr. Faxx putting donuts on the internet, the place, the name, the location, now the bit's over. Now we could have redacted the donut shop. We could have acted like I cared about the donuts. And now that it's on blast, it's over. That bit is over. He's not a serious person. He's not a professional podcaster. You need to be committed to bits. Committed to bits.

This is about the donuts. It's not about the donuts. You were mad at my wife for talking about the donuts at a fucking girls night out two days after I figured out. So you're saying you do like months long, possibly years long bits for the pod and don't tell anybody about and they're expected to understand the bit.

Look, I will agree with you guys that I can be hard to read and most of what I'm doing is is genuine and serious and authentic. Yes. But I've been honest in forthright about my rounder face. I'm not going to eat the donuts. So I don't care about the donuts.

I care about the podcast. Okay. I think you know what my read is? And now I don't get along with facts. I think this is the perfect safe face. No, no, no,

no. A weird compulsive thing about your stuff. Your lot is that's my donut shop. And we threaten that. Okay. I will cop to a unhealthy dose of nimbism. What's nivism? Not in my backyard.

So my read on it is this started as one of your real things that like are kind of bits, but real thing. And then it just, when Nate did that Saturday and he tweeted about the donut shop, you were very upset about it. I called him right away. He didn't pick up because he's spineless. Were you drunk when this happened?

No, I was not drunk when this happened. That's interesting. If this is a court of law, though, maybe you were drunk on hard alcohol, just in a rage about your donut shop. You could have done that tweet. No problem. Matt, Cowboy, Taylor could have done that, no problem.

So that's going to be an issue that we're going to have to sort out in private. Yeah. Just fax and me. Yeah. With no mediator. Yeah. Or else we're going to have problems. What is the problem is going to be?

He and I are not in the same room. We don't go to the same places, et cetera. You both collect checks from the Greenlight podcast. So if I put you in the same room, you all be in the same room. Or it's him or me. Well, I'm going to. take the guy who's not being a fucking baby about donuts. Sick.

So here's the thing. If you present it to any rational person, donut gate, yeah, everybody's going to side with Nate. Any rational person. Okay. All right. But it becomes, it becomes just, okay, Nate's deal or anybody else's deal is to fuck with Macon.

Yeah. Macon will be the punching bag and it'll be content and it'll be funny. Well, news for you. Yeah. I am the sensitive one. Okay. Yeah. I am the baby.

I've got the arrested development, okay? But I'm a serious person. Yes, you are. And I'm a professional person. Not all the time. And I want this operation to be successful. There are times we all have weak moments, myself included.

There are times where you don't bring a serious attitude to the party. And so now we have a very real rift. This is sad, guys. I'm trying to think of a sports analogy for when two great players, which I'm sure he'll take issue with even that classification. You guys bring different things to the dance. That's for sure. Have you considered that this is like a next level marketing attempt from King Marketer himself to basically revitalize your bit about the donuts?

eBay account too. Have you ever heard of something called irreconcilable differences? I have usually in divorce. What were within a hair? But wasn't it just like a week ago you texted us like that people on Twitter wanted more of making innate together and that you said that that was good. Some dumbass rating the podcast. said more. Oh, you did text that. Nate and Macon. It seemed genuine. No, I sent it to you guys.

Again, this is about the donuts. This is about the donuts, dude. The only thing that's changed in the last week is the donuts. Oh, no, no, no, no, no. The biggest trick you ever played is that you don't like this job. So he's smiling. Look, he's smiling. But do you know why I'm smiling?

What? Because why? Because you don't like the job. No, I'm not saying that. What? Well, it's like a really hard job. job, you know? Yeah.

Tell me about it. Yeah. Try this one. Yeah. Maybe that's where your anger at Nate comes from and that he is able to do some elements of that job quite well. And it is hard. Oh, no, no, no.

No, that's not it at all. It's 12. 23. No, I'm totally impressed by Nate for serious. Like, I got to work really hard to give you this. And Nate can roll out of bed and give you that. That's great. I'm envious of that.

Maybe it's that you perceive you have to work harder at this job than him. Oh, I know that. And Macon would continue for several minutes. In the interest of time and your sanity, we now turn to Dr. Fax for his rebuttal. Okay, Macon had to bounce, and I sure wish he was still here because, well, not only would I love to do the free man weave with Nate and Macon, which is one of my favorite things. But also, the Kansas State Palm team just won a national championship. That's for people at home who aren't cultured and don't enjoy the sport of Palm. That is cheerleading, I think.

Or some derivative of cheerleading. Congratulations to the grown women of Kansas State Palm because you just took home a national title. A team sport national title is something in the Virginia Tech Hokies, the people down, you know, 81. They've got a whole bunch of Commonwealth Cups. Yeah, but no national titles in anything. Is that? Is that? They don't have a single team sport national championship.

That's a fact. That's a fact. So they are now, I decree that a Palm Championship is a team championship and Kansas State is off the Schneide. It's just Virginia Tech now sitting there like a bunch of fucking virgins. Virginia Tech can't do it. Kansas State is in the door. congratulations yeah congrats to the cats but does that mean i'm still going to have to as we said earlier

this is another good thing is i don't have to call kansas state and donate money intermittently now because i was donating money to kansas state to ensure that they felt supported and they could beat virginia tech to the to the team national championship so one less thing i have to donate my money in time to kansas state athletic program that's a good deal for me it's a good deal for the cats good deal for for the good guys uh Nate Dr. Fax you're in I'm just going to give you the floor on this on this donut gate thing like what's been going on give us your account because we got make it's account which we respect his I so I don't get to hear his account like to like to rebut like how ridiculous and outlandish it's like two different depositions so you don't

get to see what he said you don't see what he said and then after that's It's unfortunate. I know he's here in spirit and we have this pillow because I had gifts from our, obviously our favorite, our favorite bakery in town, which would be Bell. And this is an official. And this is not,

hey, listen, we didn't tell him to go pick up donuts from this place. He legitimately went to get donuts for the whole crew and for making from our favorite bakery, which I won't know. name um bell okay so what happened this weekend Nate so first off it was black alumni weekend shout out to all the black alums that were in town we had the great it was a great great functions got to see some old teammates some old teammates great time so make it didn't make it out for

black alumni weekend no I don't I'm not sure so saturday morning after a night of drinking I was on my way thrifting what I usually do on Saturday mornings. The humble thrifter. Not bothering anybody. And I like to go to the goodwill on down Avon Street. So from where I live, lo and behold, I pass Bell Bakery. So I stopped there. And to my surprise, I thought they were just donuts and cookies and bread.

That's right. but they actually have amazing food. Breakfast sandwiches and such. But they have actual like sandwiches. They have eggs. They have breakfast. They have brunch stuff. And I stopped to get myself some donuts, some sandwiches.

Now why would you do that? Why would you stop to get yourself breakfast and donuts in the morning? Why would you do that? I don't understand the issue behind it. Why would you do that? So let me, let me continue. I was hungry. So I took a picture.

It's starting to make sense, though. So I took a picture of the donuts that were beautifully placed in this box. And I took a picture of the bell inside the front entrance, which is a great establishment. So I'm in the car. I continue my drive to the goodwill. and I'm in the Goodwill and I hear my phone start ringing

and I look down and to my surprise it's my co-host Makin Gunter calling. Why were you surprised? Making has not called me since

the love is love gate which was a long time ago. I forgot about that. Yeah. So he isn't someone that comes across my... What was the love is love gate? He was upset that I took it upon myself to make Green Light Pod love is love shirts and pass them out and gift them to people on the set. To wear, to gift them to people on set. And it was taken as I was taking his likeness and and trying to profit off of it.

And I got, I got criticized and ridiculed about it. And it was a whole situation that I didn't think needed to happen. And so. And he was a big man about it and called and apologized for being an asshole. That whole situation.

So just for me, having him call is little like PTSD. So what did I do? So what did I do? Me, do not like conflict, especially while I'm thrifting. So I ignored it. Yeah.

Yeah. I ignored it. Yeah. And what about my day? But the bacon egg and cheese that I got from there, it is on an English muffin. And let me tell you, it is, it is amazing to die for. But also, too, they don't use cheap bacon. They have the real thick cut bacon that if you're a bacon lover, you love it.

So if you haven't chucked out Bell bakery and Belmont yet, you should. They're open from 9 to 3 daily. Get there early because their bakery, they do run out of items. But trust me, the items that they do have left whatever time you go, it is worth trying. And actually, I think they open at 10. Yeah. Maybe, yeah, maybe they do open at 10. It's so funny.

But yeah, but I've enjoyed Bell so much that I've taken it upon myself to reach out to them to try to potentially get a Dr. Fax meal that they can probably run for promotion. And just in thinking in the past, if that goes. You really reach out to them to offer them that you could use their likeness or they could use your likeness.

Yeah. Like, promote a meal. Yeah. That like I would mention them. And I, I would come on the show and share donuts with my co-host. See I'm sharing with Macon here.

And you can have a chocolate chip cookie. Can I get to the bottom? Yeah. You know what I had from Bell yesterday that was really good? Oh, this is good. Look at that. Look at that. Share with my co-host.

And it's something that maybe we can work out. Oh my God, dude. You know what I'm saying? Like, even if it, we, it's probably, we probably shouldn't have these every pod. But even like a couple times a month, we probably could work something out. I couldn't imagine anybody being upset with that.

And then it's getting nice out So just thinking in the future After this goes after the little promotion goes well Why not set up and do a little outside pod With the people at Bell Bakery They have a beautiful They have a beautiful setup Where they have indoor outdoor seating

And it's something where Will you be there? Absolutely like why would I miss that? That's a great way to keep making away from there Because he says he will not do any content with you He said me and Nate not doing any content together until we settle this bell this bell gate what what what what what what what a better place than to settle it at bell donuts that is like making that is a great idea i i agree with you we should not

do content together until we meet up at bell and we settle it all right so maybe does he play chess maybe there's something that we should do and and we can battle for bell but there's no way like i The bacon egg and cheese is A1. And that's hard to find in Charlottesville. So he discovered Bell, huh? But bro, typical Christopher Columbus kind of thing with him. I didn't even want to.

I didn't even want to. I didn't even want to take it there. But it's just like, yo, so if you discover a restaurant, no one else that you know or you're associated with is supposed to go and enjoy that restaurant? Not if you're an only child. But like what sense does that make? Anyone chime in.

It doesn't make any sense. And he's the one who told us about it in the first place. If he really wanted to keep it a secret, he could have not told us about it. He came in here bragging about his donut spot. And that's what happens. When you brag about your donut spot, somebody else is going to brag about their new donut spot. That's the way it goes. It's a game of telephone.

Listen, here's my thing. Yeah. What was he going to say when I picked up that phone? That's an amazing point. Like, that's my thing. I'm like, honestly, if I had the time to be petty and like to the, to whatever, like with him, I would have, honestly, I would have picked up, but like, I was in the middle of Goodwill and I was just like, what, what possibly is he going to say to me

right now, like, about me going there? Because he obviously was calling it. He was interrupting your thrifting. He found like a hello kitty lunchbox and there's no time for a call from an angry. No, I'm on the, I'm on the Brooks, like, running shoe wave. Oh, yeah? Real good flip. I get some Waffle House jonts for you here.

Oh, yeah. Some Waffle House jones. Here, hit me with one of them Waffle House, Jones. Where are they? Right there, right here. Look at that. Waffle House sent me some gear because they know I'm going to be right back there this year again. And by the way, I'm going back to the Waffle House, but I'd like to propose this.

I know that we have to do it before the season starts. Can we do the first weekend of football, take over a Waffle House? And I'll spend the night there the night before the study there. Size 15. And then we'll get TVs in there and we'll watch. We'll take over the Waffle House. Open to the public. Live green light from the Waffle House.

I think that's perfect. You can make some waffles, too. Make some waffles for the people. That'd be great. It feels like just yesterday we were in there, Reed. But Waffle House, the folks of Waffle House were kind enough to send me these Waffle House sneakers. Evidently, Patrick Mahomes took the 14s.

And my first thought was, that's a fucking shame. And then my second thought was, this motherfucker's motherfucker? Yeah, no. I wear a 14, 15. But hey, Waffle House, you got a 15 or 14 laying around? send another pair.

These things got the little special honeycomb grips on the bottom. But you know these are golfing shoes. I don't know if you know that. No, I know. Which is tough for me. He didn't know that. But right in time for the masters guys.

It's on camera of me knowing that. Okay. They got the golf cleats. These are nice. Adidas. I don't play golf. That's the only bad news. So Waffle House Insoles.

We've got another thank you for sweat clothing. Okay, sweat clothing. Sweat. They, uh, Adam and Chris Melly. They sent us a whole. bag of stuff that fits both you guys to XL. Thank you very much guys.

I got pants. Thank you all. Thank you to Appomattox River Company. You see how Makin didn't even want to wear the hat but he had to have it? Oh, that's a great shirt. I like, yeah. So making is passed up on this stuff, yeah? These days, it seems like life forces us to be on all the time.

So every now and again, it's important to stop and reset. That's when you reach for a Coors Light. It's mountain cold refreshment. refreshment made to chill you know it's a hectic time of year between weddings graduations spring sports and more we're busier than ever right now uh and it's my favorite season if i'm being honest it's a great season to take a second for ourselves in the midst of all this craziness so this year take a second to enjoy an ice cold cores light because you deserve a beer that's made to chill much like me the mountains on the bottles cans uh you know like they turn

blue when your beer's cold. Come on. This is a chilling beer. You always know when it's time to chill. When you need hit a reset, just open a Coors Light. I can hear it right now. Mountain cold refreshment. Get Coors Light delivered straight to your door with Drizzly or Instacart by going to Coorslight.com slash Greenlight. Celebrate responsibly. Coors Brewing Company Golden, Colorado. So Coors Light, draft, beer made to chill. Okay. Coors Light draft. Like, you know, like when you get a nice cold Coors Light, you know that first beer you have at a bar at your favorite bar and it's so cold and it's filled to the top

and it's Coors Light and it's a good pour. Imagine that beer. You can actually stay on the podcast. You can just listen to the podcast, catch an Uber to your local bar and get shit-faced right now as you listen to the Coors Light draft segment. Coors Light made to chill. How'd I do there?

The mountains are blue. The mountains are blue. My eyes are blue. Okay, so Nate, this week we're finishing the show with our Quar's-like draft segment. This centers around undrafted guys. So I think this is really interesting. I know a little bit about that. Yeah, I got drafted early and you got picked up after the last pick.

And, you know, like you had a successful career in the NFL. I had a successful career in the NFL. Like, we both got our opportunities. But they came about totally different ways. And I think it's really interesting that people don't think about. the possibility that maybe guys don't want to get drafted if they're about to be the last pick and I brought this up with Sean Payton last week

Nate why would it be a possibility that somebody wouldn't want to get drafted if it's down to the last five picks you might want to hope you just go undrafted for me personally just wanted to get onto a team I guess it would be cool to hear your name drafted but for your best possible

situation, if you're going to be picked in the sixth or seventh round, realistically, teams are looking at you and they have an idea about what you can do, what they want, and their teams, and they have a plethora of guys that they're also looking at for after their draft to offer their money if they slip through. And for you and your agent, you kind of know what teams you can probably fit in, what teams are running the system that was similar to what you ran in college. that you excelled in, things like that. And you have a better chance to get to those teams

if you don't get drafted because instead of now just having a small maybe window of teams that you think you're potentially going to go to, realistically, the entire league opened up to you. For you, if you really want to be in a certain system, you can potentially get your AJ to maybe push or find a way to get you there. If you're going to draft it last by, like,

a team that you absolutely didn't want to be on. What do you think about like committing a crime last second? No. I don't, I don't recommend that. I would say that at the end of the day. Okay, some people at home were wondering.

No. But no, I mean, like maybe maybe nowadays you can, you can send off a risky tweet. Yeah, you could just fire off like that. I wouldn't say do anything that's going to affect you if you do get what you want

and make it harder for someone else to pick you up. But depending on, Where it's at. Like say the lions are picking last for some reason in the draft. Like you could say something like terrible like Eminem hasn't made a good album in years. Yeah. Like, you know, they can't draft you. Perfect.

Yeah. Something like that. Something like something risky where they're like, you know what? We don't want to deal with this. And I didn't mean that. Yeah, bro. Because what he did to machine gun, Kelly? I don't want that to happen to you.

Eminem has time to sit. Right. Because I'm on Eminem's team, dude. I'm on Eminem's team on that machine gun. If he sat down and he studied Chris Long, he would kill me. He probably has, he would kill me. He probably would have high school stab bars about you, bro. He would murder me, bro.

Listen, I want no fucking smoke with one of the goats, man. Marshall. I was giving you a, I was making you, I was giving you the, there were some real bars on relapse. Yo, you're still making jokes. I'm not making a joke. This is all. That's me being serious. There were bars on relapse.

I'm not saying. Listen, no, that's funny. I didn't just this M&M. Just giving you a template to slide out of the seventh round if you want it. So your process, how does that go? I was expected and not even expected. It was talked up before the draft that maybe I was going to go anywhere from the fourth to seventh round. Right.

And on draft day, what, two and three? I forget how they do it. It's like the first round and then second through four. fourth and then the rest the next day whatever it is but by the end of the second day my name was popping up on like next best so like i had a like a house full of family and everything so like once you see that on the screen with your family and everyone even for you not knowing what's going to happen you're like oh shit like this might happen yeah like going undrafted no no that i might get drafted like you're thinking you're going to get drafted because you're

Because you see your name top like next list, whatever like that, but for positions. And then it went from next in the positions to next best, like the next day. I went from that like D-line list next best to my name getting pushed over to like next best available. That's what I thought you meant. So people at your house. Everyone's like, what's the range of, is there anybody your house that's like? No, so it's funny. It's range.

It's kids to like like. And their attitude. as far as you're getting drafted or any of them were, did all of them understand that it might be better not to get drafted depending on where you get drafted? So we were saying that and like people didn't want it. Like family members, they just want to hear your name called.

The funny thing is one of my little cousins who's now, he just graduated college and like he's grown up now and I make jokes about it. He was a baby then and his sentiments every time he walked in the room. He was a baby. He was, And now he's grown up and has been through college. Yeah.

So what year did you- He was young. I was drafted in 20-10. 2010. So he's a toddler, maybe. Yeah, he's a toddler. He's a large toddler. He was a little leaguer.

So he kept coming into the room with me and my friends like, are you ever going to get drafted? And like my friends- You're trying to make him sound like a baby because you were getting fucking flamed by a 12 year old. Yo, so, like, all my friends would laugh, and, like, we were laughing. I was like, yo, get out of here. And, like, we talk about it now.

But, yeah, it got to the point where once it got to the seventh round, like, my agent was actually at my house with me, and it's something where he pulled me into a room. And what you're saying, he kind of explained to me, like, hey, don't stress out if we don't hear your name called. Because at the end of the day, the teams that are left that would potentially pick you, we don't know if it's going to be a better situation than the teams that will be around once the draft is over.

Exactly. And when your agent walks in the doors, they're like, this motherfucker. Well, no, I think, I think my, parents and, like, my family for the most part, they understood the process. They understood that, like, there was a chance for me not to get drafted, but that doesn't mean that by the end of the day, I wasn't going to be on a team. And so I think that was the ultimate goal

that the end of three days of the draft and everything's all said and done, that they kind of knew, hey, my son is going to play here. So last pick goes off the board. Is it quiet for a second, or does everybody, what happens? No, it's like, it actually it is. It starts getting to the point where it's like the last couple of picks and When the phone's ringing, it's all teams that they don't have any more picks left and they're saying hey

We're interested in Nate if if he still makes it through these last six or seven picks and give us the offers you were receiving So how it was working is so as soon as the draft ended I distinctly remember Rex Ryan called with the Jets and And he was telling me that, hey, we love your tape. We love how you play. Like, don't chase the money. I know there's going to be other teams that offer you more money, free agent deal. But we want you.

And I'm not going to lie, we only give our free agent guys like $1,200, which once your New York tax and New Jersey tax hit, it's barely nothing. But he's like, come and chase a dream. And at the time, like, I wasn't really feeling. and that and also. Also, it's funny that, like, at some point the Jets called you in the 21st century and said, uh, take less money, come play for the Jets. Chase the dream. But hey, who knows how different it would have been if I did go there?

The Jets might turn their shit around. Like, who knows? But when we hung up the phone with the Jets, all the teams that were calling and saying what type of offers they had for me if I slipped through the draft for a 25 30 minute period my agent's phone went completely cold so I'm sitting there from thinking like damn I just turned down this offer but I would have been on a team I know and I was like it would have been somewhere and I wouldn't have had to go far I would have been local because my parents at the time they just bought a house in Connecticut so we were all in Connecticut so I'm like oh I would have been I would have been rate

to, I would have been right in New Jersey right across the bridge at the Jets facility. And that 25 minutes, I tell you, that was when all of the nervousness and I was in, we turned, like, we had, like, my mom has her own, like, office in the house and we turned that office into, like, our little war room for my agent, had his old stuff spread out. So we were locked in there. And when that 25 minutes was going on, That's when all the knocking, hey, what's going on? Hey, who's calling?

Hey. And at this point, no one was calling. Right. So that was like a huge scare. And I'm sure like a lot of people go through it. And I'm sure a lot of people. Have good service at your house? Self service?

Like, you're checking everything. You're checking everything. You're like, yo, is the phone's working? Yeah. Like, is everything working right now? Why is no one calling? Your phone was just going haywire for the past. 78 hours your phone was going.

going haywire and now after we hang up and we decline this one deal the phone is just silent how are your visits to backtrack think about you know a guy like you who's has no idea where you gonna end up like you said the range is four to seven and like could have been anything the visits were the visits were interesting and it's funny the teams i need to visit the teams i end up playing for so i did take a visit to chicago and then for most guys depending on where you're at and where you're up, you'll get a courtesy visit if you have a professional team in your area. And because I went to school in Connecticut and grew up in New York, the Giants gave me a courtesy visit.

That's interesting. And I was there with two kids that were in my, like from my, or one kid that was from my area that we played high school ball near each other and everything. And I remember crushing that visit. Yeah. Like we did a workout at that visit. And I went through a D-line workout. and one of the linebackers didn't make his flight to comb.

And so there was only one linebacker for them to work out. And the linebacker coach asked me, hey, would you mind doing some linebacker drills? And so after the D-line drill, would actually help me out to the other D-Lyline that I did the drill with. He was gas and win and, like, dead. And they asked me to do another workout. And I did an entire another workout, like with the linebackers. More you can do workout. It's just one of those things.

I was just like, yo, this is perfect. You're ready. Like, yo, they get more tape. who's like high who's supposed to go high if he was asked to work out as a linebacker and he'd be tackle, he would have never done it. No. So the attitude of like, just like, hey, you got to be willing to do whatever. And that's going to

be the same thing for undrafted and late round guys when we get in a building. It's, oh, what position you play? Oh, cool story. Like put a red penny on. You got to learn to play tight end on scouting. Biggest advice. Biggest advice for any guy that... Special teams. For any rookie regardless of what it is,

learn how to kick slide. That's, at the end of the day. It doesn't, it doesn't, it doesn't matter what position you play or whatever you're at learn how to kick slide because if you want to get on the field you have to make the punt team like at the unless you're an extraordinary talent and maybe you're a kick returner or something special like that kicker punter specialist maybe that's different but if you're not you're out there Anthony how learn how to kick slide because if you do not make the punt team nine times out of ten it's going to exponentially

make your chances higher of getting on the field your first year. That's interesting. Okay. So then it ended up being the Giants and what did it take to get you done? And then once you get there, being an undrafted guy, what are some of the ways that things are different for the undrafted guys come summer? The Giants actually not thinking about it, they offer me 13, it was $13,000. It was $13,000, $1,500.

And after the taxes, believe it or not, it was probably like $6,500. after the big tax and everything. But for me, I was close to home and just the luck of the draw. My college roommate Clint Sintham was their second round pick. Shout out Clint. Shout out Clint the year previous. So I already knew he had an apartment that he had already told to me, hey, if it happens this way, like, yo, you can definitely come and stay with me.

And like we could work it out that way. So you don't have to worry about all that stuff your first year getting settled. So it was a match made in heaven. I'm on my childhood team. They call me. With your college roommate. With my college roommate. I'm close to home.

All my family members are giant, are Giants fans. And you get to play with all those guys, dude. I get to play with all those guys, which I thought at the moment was going to be awesome. But it turns into, hey, I'm trying to bump one of my idols or one of the people I grew up watching. I'm trying to potentially bump one of these guys out of this room. Yeah. And so then it gets different.

And it just, at the end of the day, like, it boils down just to going out and you start bawling. And some of the guys that you look up to, you start thinking in your head, like, it's cooler if this guy thinks I'm good, rather than me, like, idolizing him or trying to, like, suck up or, like, be show. shocked it's it's more about hey i'm gonna make moves so this guy when we're in when we're in the training room he's gonna be like oh this this young dude he's right yeah and maybe he'll start wanting to give me tips and i'll gain my respect that way did anybody take you under their wing um i would say i would say the the once i made the team like nobody really talks to you until like people you realize it's dog you you you realize it's dog eat dog when you're when you're in training camp and you realize, hey, some of the older guys in your room, they know that, hey, I'm on

the chopping block. So I need to focus on me what I'm going to be doing, how I'm going to feed my family, if I don't make this team. And so you can't go in expecting people to be friendly with you. You need to go in there and think in your head, hey, I'm potentially taking food off of someone's plate in this room. And I need to focus on myself and just focus. focus on how I'm gonna be able to put food on my table

by making this team. It's like the Titanic before everybody gets a rescue boat. Yep. You know, you're not gonna be as friendly to the guy that's on his way to the boat. Like once you're on the boat and everybody's on the boat, but I'm not saying human nature should be this way, but this is the way things are.

But you can't expect someone to reach their hand out to pull you out the water when the boat's already full. When the boat is already full, because a lot of those guys in their head, If you're reaching out to carry them in, when they reach out, you're pulling them in and you're jumping on that boat and leaving them. You're all jacked. Like, that's it. Yeah.

And you want to be rose. You want to, yeah, you want to be rose. Yeah, for sure. So that's fucking crazy. And then you ended up getting kicked out of that apartment anyway. I did get kicked out of that apartment because. The conference said no more roommates living together, Nate's late. Yeah, like, if you're undraft.

the guy, I would say this. The one thing that saved me from not getting kicked off the Giants that year, I was late twice in a two-week span, which should never be done. You should never be late. And if you ever played with-and-if-you-ever played for Coughlin, you know that five, on time is late, five minutes early is late. Basically, you need to be in the meeting room in the building, six minutes. Seven minutes before whatever time you're supposed to.

and I was late twice in one week, but Coughlin had said to my face, he said, I was on the phone the entire morning looking for a practice squad guy that goes as hard as you do so I can kick you off this team for being late. He goes, I've coached guys for over 10, 15 years. I've never been late and you managed to do it twice and one month. And one of the reasons was because I wasn't staying with all the rookies at the hotel where you got a complimentary show. shuttle to and from the building every day. But they also took the money out of your check for you staying in there. And my old roommate Clint was gracious enough to let me stay at his house free of rent. So I was trying to bank some of that extra money. And at the end of the day, he ended up making me

stay back in the hotel. So it didn't matter anyway. But also in there is a real compliment from a hard-ass football coach, which is that like, hey, you work really hard. So it's hard for me to find anybody outworked, Nate Collins. Dr. Fax, one of the hardest workers in draft history. Only got to survive being late twice in a week. Working for Tom Coughlin. That's the best compliment you've ever received. Honestly.

I mean, that's high praise. You were late twice this week, but I can't cut you because you work too hard. Bro, I was in there, like, I was in there with tears in my eyes, like, does that mean you're not cutting me? Like. So wait. When he's like, all right. And then you're like, the meetings over. What were the contents of this meeting?

Bro, I already had tears of my eyes because you know you walk into a building. When I walked in late, they already had took everything out my locker. So you, like, as a player, when you see an empty locker, that's how you know someone's gone. And as soon as I walked in, like, where the lockers were. Your own funeral and seeing your own. When the lockers are set, the way they're set up, minds was on like the first makeshift locker that's in the middle of the locker room before guys get you. your real lockers and it was clear and it was like it was like being on a big ice roller coaster

the drop you get from your stomach on a roller coaster that's what my that's what my stomach did Tom Coughlin took you on a on a you know the screws emotional that that that that spanned of 15 minutes like my stomach and the emotions like like you know how you say you get a frog in your throat all that shit all of that happened all the fraud from walking from the locker room and then telling you go to Coughlin's office and then half in a while walk through and kind of like all the coaches already kind of know what's going on so everyone's just kind of like looking at you like everyone's looking at you like the grim reaper hasn't even like the grim reaper is the guy in a building that they know everybody knows that's the guy that cuts you so

when you see him around like nobody tries to make eye contact with him you think like you you know but the grim reaper you didn't even have to talk to the grim reaper you just went up to see Kaufland no it wasn't even the grim reaper tapped you're not even making eye contact no you're dead already the equipment personnel was like cofflin said when you when you walked in to go straight to his office. Yes, I did see my locker. And that's exactly, and he, when I walked in, he's seen it in my face.

And he's like, he's like, how you feel right now? That's exactly how you should feel. And he told me, he's like, I've been on the phone all morning, and I just can't find a practice squad guy up here quick enough. What a real conversation, though. The NFL's full of real conversations. Full of fake motherfuckers, but also full of some real conversations. Best believe they got the best out of me for the rest of that.

and Nate was tempo violating five years later down the line in his career. Shout out to Zach Diasi, my favorite guy to go against. Long Snapper. There we go. He used to hate me. There we go. All right, there's your Coors Light.

This is the best Coors Light draft segment yet, you know. You were the Coors Light that Macon had a really good metaphor last week. It was, he said that finding a good player in the draft is like finding that single Coors Light behind the mustard that you're like, ah, this beer is here. It's here. you were that cores light the poor man's gino hayes i'll never forget it i'll never forget it was that the best comp you got yeah like that's what they used to say and i used to be like yo i love his

game like he can ball out and he's a squatty guy like me so i used to take that as a compliment they just sorted uh all the edge players on pro football reference by Caucasian and then they read the top five lines to comp me to those guys they're still doing it everybody body wide is high motor or yeah so um and now the worst part is like people that they think are not great get compared to me and i get catch like strays i'm like why you know so like please i i want to retire i've retired from golf i also want to retire from being a comp in the NFL hey i think flattery is what does they say flattery is the best form of imitation yeah something like that right imitation the opposite yeah i know i know i know matt i know all right uh

But good luck with that because they're always going to compare you to any white edge guy, dude, any white edge guy. Okay, well, that's been Coors Light and Dr. Fax and myself. And listen, man, I want to end the show on this, the Dwayne Haskins news, which is a few days ago now. But, I mean, it's like everybody waits for you to comment on a terrible tragedy like this. And it's like, what else can you say that nobody's said yet, which is that like you tell the people, that you love that you love them say it out loud give them a hug you know this is this goes this goes far beyond football so you know whether it's Dwayne Haskins or you know your friend down the street or whatever like I just feel like us as guys late in our 30s

you know there's just more stories that reinforce that life is short and so you know give people that he loves and loves to his loved ones yeah I just seen um one of of our old teammates, Don Trell Eman, I guess his last professional touchdown was from Haskins. Oh yeah, yeah, yeah. When he played and he posted it and I was just like, damn, that's like the kid was not even 25 years old.

24 years old, dude. Yeah, man. And you know, you think about just like how lucky you and I are to be alive, like all the things that could have happened to us along the way here. Definitely can't take life for granted. You can't take life for granted.

And then also I think that one thing, if I could calmly, you know, I think that what this reinforces, and we could all do a better job of it. Like, hey, listen, if you want to break down a kid's shortcomings on the football field, like, go ahead. Always. That's the time to do it.

But no, but death isn't the time to do it. Obviously, we don't even have to bring up the Schefter or tweet or anything like that. But, you know, as your, I guess, sports fans talking about players that maybe you don't like or maybe have disappointed your team or whatever else. Like, this guy has also done, this guy, fucking Dwayne,

Askins did so much in his young life to be really a legend in Columbus, which is a football factor. I mean, this guy is going to make it so other guys can get drafted, even if it didn't work out great. Like this guy, there's going to be a run of quarterbacks now at Ohio State that look like him, that he's broken down some real barriers, not just for the school, but for quarterbacks that look like him. And I also think that, I think that, like, people just need to do a better job of detaching the player from the person. I think, like, we all do a poor job of that. I think sometimes when a player isn't performing well, people can kind of, it can be a little dehumanizing. And we can get way too serious about sports. Like sports are a serious deal. We love them,

but they shouldn't be something that, you know, where you go over the, over the line with people. And it hurts me to think that this kid, you know, over the last few years, endured a lot of probably nasty things that were said about him. Some of them fair in circumstances, but this is, like, people can be gone in a minute. Be empathetic. Yeah, just be empathetic. Like people just, this overall, just need to be a little bit more empathetic. And we all do. If you had a loved one pass away, at the end of the day, like, you don't want to hear about

the bullshit that they dealt with or that was going on. If they passed away, give it some time. Even if you don't like it, the saying is don't say anything at all if you don't have anything nice to say. And I'm on, and that was, according to Nancy Kerrigan. Like, you know what I mean? It's just, it's just one of those things where, like, don't take that opportunity to get whatever you had off your chest, like at that moment.

It's not the time. time and it's just it's sad that we even have to bring stuff like that up and but we have gotten so comfortable with making whatever the person does on the football field like who they are yeah and i just think like no yeah we're not human beings like when you're when you're a professional athlete you're not you're like the the fact or the thought that the fans understand that hey guys i'm i'm i'm sort of just like you at the end of the day kids a normal kid kid like i'm just like you that doesn't register for people. He's a friend. He's all those things. I think what's really

telling is this kid passes away tragically and you hear about the accounts from teammates and people that there are things that quite frankly unfortunately we didn't get saying so all I'll say is this is like if you love somebody tell him you love him if you love your favorite athlete as a person tell him you love them if your favorite athlete's struggling and they're not they're not playing as well maybe mix in a I know I still you're still the man tweet Like because I think that, I think it's unfortunate that from a lot of fans, maybe he got a lot of vitriol and people have a hard time separating those things.

I'm not saying you can't criticize players, but just know what I'm talking about when I say, like, we are all human beings. And I think athletes are very uniquely judged through a different lens than anybody else in society. And so we lost one of our youngest, brightest, and somebody who let their teammates tell it was a hell of a force for good off the field, a good person. And so rest in peace, Twain Haskins. Rest and peace.