Green Light with Chris Long - Billy Football! Animal Predator Fear Index & Best Animals in Movies.

Episode Date: July 5, 2022

(2:15) - Billy Football’s Photography Skills and Yellowstone’s Bison. (17:10) - Would You Rather Be a Domesticated Dog or Stray Dog? Dog or Cat? (22:00) - North American Predator Fear Index. (37:38) - Domesticate One Animal. (44:32) - Best Animal Performances in Movies. (53:45) - Most and Least Useful Muscles. (58:45) - One Public Place You Could Live. Green Light Spotify Music: https://open.spotify.com/user/951jyryv2nu6l4iqz9p81him9?si=17c560d10ff04a9b Spotify Layup Line: https://open.spotify.com/playlist/1olmCMKGMEyWwOKaT1Aah3?si=675d445ddb824c42 Green Light Tube YouTube Channel: https://www.youtube.com/c/GreenLightTube1 Green Light with Chris Long: Subscribe and enjoy weekly content including podcasts, documentaries, live chats, celebrity interviews and more including hot news items, trending discussions from the NFL, MLB, NHL, NBA, NCAA are just a small part of what we will be sharing with you. https://www.greenlightpodcast.com/ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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Tennessee, y'all, 2. 1-800-9-9-7-89. Welcome to the Greenlight podcast. Billy Football joins today and we are talking animals. We talk dogs versus cats. Would you rather be a domesticated or a stray dog? Pros and cons of both. Then we jump into a North American predator fear index.

We do grizzly bears, polar bears, black bears, mountain lions, coyotes. How fearful are each one of these guys of those predators? Then we finish with a couple one-off questions, domesticate an animal, most and the least useful muscles. in a public place you could live. Y'all enjoy and have a great week. How you doing, boys? What's up, Big Dog. It was good.

How's your week? It's going well, but I just realized that this black guy has gotten way worse. No. Yeah, no, it's, I got playing basketball. I just got hit in the eye. Holy shit. Blank twice if we need to talk to your parents about something. No, no, no, it's good.

Literally, I was just playing basketball, but I didn't think it was that bad. So where were you playing basketball? Yeah, you must have been Rocker Park or Park, dude. Well, no, I was in Hoboken. You think I got to get a black guy in Hoboken. Oh, man. It's a pretty competitive pickup game. I play with a bunch of guys from the office who live in Jersey City in Hoboken.

And we were, like, on for like five straight game, like, play for three hours. Sounds like a cover-up story. What, would you, let me ask you this. Would you like to take Ryan Rosillo to the hole after everything he said about you on part of my take recently? there's a lot of valid facts he said um but i would love to play in one-on-one that actually good oh that would be so i like yeah i would 100% love to play would you beat it on a scale on a scale to one to 10 how do you rank your your one-on-one basketball game no i i want to stick on this matchup here for a second matchup yeah ryan rissillo versus billy football

half court right because that's what they do in one-on-one basketball i haven't played anybody one-on-one in fucking years. You and Ryan to 11. What's the score? Oh, I think I go beat him 11, 8, 11, 9. It depends on how the shots falling. I actually don't know

how good Ryan is at basketball. Neither do I. He's one of my best friends. Neither do I. And, you know, he posts about basketball a lot, so I mean like he has to be decent, right? Yeah. Yeah, I think he's, he's, he's, he's willed himself to be, I think. I think he's actually pretty good.

I don't want a pigeonhole him. You know, he might, that's one thing he might take personally if he hears that I say he's not really good at basketball. He's definitely one of these guys who you got to play up top because he's got to have a shot, right? Got to. That's one of those things where if you're obsessed with basketball, you have to have a shot or it means like, like, what are you doing when you're obsessing about basketball?

Yes, you're not just going out there to set screens and show. shit like there's so much you could be doing and you're you could ride a bike someplace some guys are some guys are really good team players some guys aren't that good than one-on-one one-on-one is a is a different skill technique with basketball right I'm more of a team player like some guys are actually good at setting screens and getting other guys open there are guys that take pride and like we're sitting around talking about a pickup game like yeah facilitating you can there's some facilitating and ass dudes just sitting there on the couch talking about all the facilitating they did last

night? You think? 1,000% like talking about how many assists. Yo, you should have died in my head. No, there are there's guys like that. Okay. All right. Those are the guys who don't have a good shot, but like they're doing, we have one on our

team who he's like, he loves playing pickup for cardio and he's just a straight and facilitated. Jesus, man. You can pick some cardio that's easier on your knees. I mean, I mean, holy shit. Oh, if you look at the whoop scores after pickup, it doesn't even compare to, like, running. Explain a whoop score to me, Billy.

No free ads, but it just tracks how much cardio you're doing, how much calories you're burning, like the intensity of your heart rate throughout. So, like, when you're running, right, like your heart rate's like, usually it hovers around the same level. With basketball, it's like shooting up, going down. It just has so much more of a, like, strain on your body. So you want that. You want that on your whoop score.

You want that variability. Every time I get some wearable tech, I lose interest in it in like a month. You know, like I'll get really into the Apple Watch or I'll get really into the ring or a ring. Before I lost my last one, I was on the street. That was probably a year. The longest I've like taken. I used to have those little other bands that when they came out that track your steps and all that. But I'll lose those in like a month.

Yeah, a year is a long time with a piece of work. It's a long time. Yeah, put the over under, like, nationally average, probably a six-month lifespan on a risk. I used to be like that, like, totally, like, not believe in any of it. But what I like about this is, like, because it records on your phone and, like, it stacks up, it's like a score. And I kind of get addicted to that, like, a game. Like, for example, AirPods, I would never buy a pair of AirPods. Yeah.

Like, that's just such a waste of money. Well, head cancer, too. Have you in Cowboy Reed, Matt? I don't think so. We emailed and Billy responded to my email, which I appreciated. Not many guests do. So Billy, thank you very much. Don't worry.

I handle all my, uh, all my, uh, messages. I don't, there's no one else. He's got no publicist. This is a man of the people, dude, no security. I, I pretend I have people. Like, I'll talk to people, be like, have your people contact my people, but genius. I am people.

Marketing. That's the marketing. He's a marketing king. I want to, I want to, I want to, I want to, I want to, just say that I respect the hell out of you listing that list of all the things you're going to do during your suspension and having us on the pod having you appearing on this pod and not talking to anyone here about that. No, it was just we just communicated through the internet. It is genius. And I just want to give you the problem. And I was like, oh, I see our podcast there.

I was like, all right, so I should probably reach out then. Let's get this thing done. This has been in the for a while. So we are going to talk about animals for sure. We're going to talk about muscles for sure. We're going to talk about probably North American predators the longest, because I'm going to Montana this month. Billy's got a North American Zoom background. That's the Grand Canyon. I actually took this picture. Damn. It was it's the sickest picture I were taking my life. Because like you see in the background, it looks like a temple. Hell yeah, dude. Yeah, it looks like an ancient like Acropolis, but it's just in the middle of the Grand Canyon. That was taking at like 5 a.m.

Yes. I woke up super early to see the sunrise on it and the sun, the first thing you hit was that temple and I was just like, damn, that's a beautiful, beautiful site. And the fact that you took it and you're so close to the edge, I would presume? Yeah, it was on a lookout point. It was in a decent spot. So that's not a Getty image.

It's not a Getty image. That's a flex, bro. That's a flex. When your Zoom background is a Billy image. That's a Billy image, bro. And those are free. unlike Getty images. Guys in the pros that don't want to, you know,

spend the $100 bucks or whatever it costs or get in contact with the LA Times, they'll just screenshot the fuck out of a Getty image and posted on Instagram. Like it's like a dope picture. But the Getty people, like how about for them to think like, hey, you know, if we put this right in the middle of the photo, no one will want to repost this.

I didn't know that still happened in the NFL. Like in high school we do. Oh, dude, no, it still happens, man. It still happens, man. Max preps photos. Oh, my God, Max prep. In the NFL. Posting that.

NFL football players have much worse Instagrams than NBA players. Like, NBA players have very, like, nicely kept, you know, sometimes they do the grid stuff where it's like a grid and one picture and a bunch of black and white pictures and shit. We're really bad at Instagram. We'll have getting image pictures. We'll have accidental posts. No, it scares me that you could put your phone in your pocket and, like,

take it out and you can make calls or your phoneers on certain screens. You pull it out and you're just like, yo, it did all this. And you're like one click away from calling someone that you said, I'm sleep or something. And the phone's a funny thing, man. The phone is a funny thing. I'm going to, I'm hanging that one in the Louvre. Yeah, that's a PFT, no fly zone. Okay.

So we're talking about North American predators with Billy. here. The bison in Yellowstone are making a lot of news right now. I figure you're all over this thing. How do we feel? Where are you ruling on this bison versus human problem we have right now? Look, so I blogged several of these, but I think this recent one, I couldn't blog because I think it ended in a death if I'm pretty sure. You don't blog about death? Yeah, I mean, that's just not good juju to you know sensationalize that but if you just got messed up I would have blogged it because I think there's video yeah um but I mean so I actually blogged the grizzly bear a blog earlier about how fast they are and just viral videos of them like

running super fast 35 miles an hour yeah and there was one where there's uh if you ever been to yellowstone there's walkways to the geysers and there was a group of tourists who were very close to the bear because they were on this walkway and they couldn't they stayed in a group and everyone was like why didn't you run away which isn't the right move in that situation it wasn't like they're in cars but with a lot of these bison sightings people are walking up to the bison the bison the bison never really just run up on you yeah but these people are like you know maybe they have experience with like cattle and they think that they're like decently tame fucking cowboys dude yeah i mean but a lot of it is tourists

especially foreign tourists. Yeah. That's incredible, like to get off an airplane, come to, like, America and be like, uh, I'm imagining going to Tanzania or somewhere and being like, feeling confident about another country's animals, dude. Like that,

um, it's an away game. Like if you, if you don't, it's one thing to be a stupid American and walk up to a buffalo. But if you do it and you, you, you had the money to buy a first class ticket from,

here's my, Here's my thing. Yeah. When you're doing this, I'm assuming it's for the photo op. What amount of likes makes it worth it if the worst thing possible happens? When you're thinking about doing this, like what in your head? Like, do you think, oh, I'm going to get a million likes because I took a picture near a bison? Here's the funny part.

Here's the funny part. They're not famous people. No. So, like, they're not even monetizing these buffalo shots, dude. And that's my point. If you're like a model and you like get gored by a bison, I think like it's the wrong move and you're not being real wise. But at least there was something that you can claim to have gained from taking a selfie with a fucking buffalo.

If you're getting 136 likes on Facebook, dude, that's bad business on top of, you know, natural selection. How many like did you get for that for that picture behind you? I think I blogged it. I don't think I posted on my Instagram. Yeah, he was keeping it professional. Yeah, because I mean, it's just, it's, it wasn't about that. It was about how cool it is. Yeah, but keep it secure to the art form.

No, but Billy, I got good news for you. You might be able to blog about a Buffalo attack because one just happened, Reed, I think, in Yellowstone in the last day or so where there was a goring, but it wasn't a killing. So I think it's fair game for a Billy blog on a new bison, just, new bison attack just dropped. I saw there was a video where a kid was involved. So actually, I think what happens with a lot of these attacks is a lot of the tourists to Yellowstone, who aren't American,

come from Asia. Yeah. And in Asia, there's tons of water buffalo. Yep. Which roam around and are typically much more domestic. Easy mistake to make. And they just think,

oh, these are American buffalo. They're definitely, like, they must have the same temperament as our buffalo. Yeah. And then they get way too close to them and they get gored by no way. I'm trying to think of how that could happen to us in another country. Like the straight, I think about the straight dogs when you go to places like anywhere,

like Jamaica, like anywhere, the DR, you see all these straight dogs. But nothing about it makes you feel like, hey, I want to go like pet this dog or maybe get close to it. I got so actually there's an exact equivalent. So if you ever go to like Mexico or like in South America, there's these like really cute looking I think they're called Cote, C-O-A-T-I, probably pronouncing that wrong. And Dave Portnoy and my boss was posting pictures of these guys being like, oh, this is, he was calling him Harold and, oh, they're so cute. But they're basically South American raccoons. Yeah, dude, I'm not running up on one of these things.

Oh, yeah, but people feed them. They think they're cute. Like, they look like teddy bears, but they're really like Carrie Rabies, vicious. Cozumel Cody is like a different. No, Cody. Yeah, that's like the ones that are very, like, cute in South America and, like, people in Mexico, do pictures of them. They're, like, look at local wildlife.

And they're around and they're, like, literal scavengers, raccoons that will bite you. Well, listen, I mean, like, we're dumb as a species. Like, we will run up on damn near anything, man. I see videos of people in ponds with gators. I see people, because people in countries where there are crocodiles. I understand that there are some crocodiles rarely in southern Florida. Billy, can you confirm that? There's been sightings of most of them or it's like escaped.

Yeah. Yeah, they fled. Yeah. But like when you're, if you live in a country where there's crocodiles, like you're probably, you probably have more common sense than an American. I feel like Americans should not be allowed around alligators, man. Like we don't respect them. I don't know what year it was that like people started posting videos of like up close

and personal with gators. but I don't know what's wrong with these people. I think it's just the internet. Like, I think things go viral and you see people do stuff. Yeah. You think in your head, oh, if that person can do it, I can do it. Because, like, did you, like, speaking of crocodiles, the video that dude, I think he's in Australia, and, like, he walks down and he takes a frying pan and he just smacks a crocodile.

Well, if I have a frying pan, and it's an old guy, and it's just like, you watching it, you're like, hey, maybe I can do that if I've seen a crocodile. Like, I would be able to do that. But realistically, it's like, no, you probably can't. Like, and if that guy had missed, he's getting eaten. Do you know how to tell the difference between a crocodile and an alligator? The nose, the shape of the nose, correct? I think it's the snout, right?

Is that what you would call it properly? And then the teeth, the teeth go up, like they have the underbite teeth, I think. I learned that in one of my kids' books. So here was the question I had for you, Billy. Would you rather be a domesticated dog living in, like, a suburban household or a stray dog the aforementioned stray dog running around and wherever Nate saw a stray dog. I mean, with that, it's like when you're a stray dog, like, let's say, because I'm a stray dog at this point, this is probably some sort of karmic type.

Oh, interesting. I died and became a dog. That's interesting. And then there might be an afterlife. You died in the pickup game. Yeah, I died in the pickup game. There you go. Now we're in the afterlife.

Now we're in the afterlife and I've become a dog. Now, if those rules apply, then the length of life doesn't really matter. Yeah. So stray dogs having way more fun. Yes. Like, you're just riding with the pack doing crazy shit. You're not neutered probably. Yep.

You still got your balls. Like, you don't have to ask for permission every time you go outside. You don't have to beg for food. You just go find it. I want to eat chicken nuggets tonight. I'm going to go eat chicken nuggets somewhere. Somebody trashed a 20 piece. like the hunt hunting must be fun like to a point i know it's like but like dogs love to hunt like my

my dog chases squirrels you know like so it just depends on it you mind living longer and this is a kind of sounds like a carmic situation where you're like being reborn so you're going to get reborn as something else after your dog well stray dogs are here for a good time not a long time bill you know and that's the whole thing like that's their lifestyle man they're getting more ms too by know, by virtue of like what they're eating, bro. They're basically, yeah, they're on like that American diet, although they don't live in America. The dogs eat the healthiest in the United States of America, dude.

They definitely do. Because relative to their species, like we are doing everything we can to keep those poor fucking things alive as long as we can so they can get just harassed by children and shit. They're just... Roll up to some domestic, like, female dog's house and a stray dog. Yes, dude. Dude.

She's spayed. What up? Okay, so Billy ruled on that. He ruled on the right side because I agree with you, man. Like, I don't want to ask permission and do everything. Another one that always gets me is the NFL combine, a big question they always ask guys or did. I'm sure they've changed it since then, is would you rather be a dog or a cat? Are you a dog or a cat?

And I think there's a big trick question in there. I think, I think, like, for the. the very reason we just talked about. Cat. You want to be a cat, dude. Yeah. 1,000%. They have autonomy, dude.

They're unpredictable. People fear them. It's one thing to be loved, but it's another thing to be feared, dude. And cats, they have this swagger about them that they know, like, they're being taken care of. Yeah. Like, it's like, you get the feeling like with a dog, like the dog gives off like, oh, man's best friend.

Like, he makes me feel good. No, like, when you have a cat, cat's like. All the attention is for me. Yes. The attention is for me. I'm very confident about that. Very confident. I recently received my Helix mattress, and I'm obsessed with it.

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All right, so Reed's got some predators that he's going to read off. Maybe some of them live in Montana, but they're all North American predators. They're homegrown, and then we're going to give them a fear index. We're to do a scale one to ten? That's pretty easy. Okay. Yeah, yeah. And Chris, you might encounter some of these. Billy, you might have encountered some of these on your travels. I bet he has. We'll start off your index of a black bear. Zero, dude.

Zero, dude. Okay. Zero, bro. Billy, zero. Who's killed more recently? The Green River killer or a black bear anywhere? Just give me one black bear that's done a fucking thing in this country. The last...

The black bear does. catch bodies. No, they don't catch bodies, dude. Like, it's not, look, it's not like all, like, it's very low. Like, I agree with you. I personally think that, like, if I ran to a black bear, that black bear is running away. Yeah. But they do take people out. Like, people do, like, it's not totally out there. Like, the chance is not zero. So there, yeah. No, see? You take it very no. He's, look, look, this guy is trying to make it not a big deal. My girlfriend, Less than a week ago, down here in Virginia, getting off a Richmond exit, seeing a black bear crossing the highway. Well, I got bad news for you.

You got a better chance to get hit by a fucking car than killed by that black bear. Right. Cover me in honey. I'll sit in the middle of that fucking intersection. I'll probably just get hit by a sedan, dude. You do. You do, but black bears, like, eat home. Like, there's been a couple of instances of passed out homeless people getting eaten by black bears.

Well, see, now he's appealing to my sensitive side. Right, but like it's not zero. Like these, there's debt, there's been death by black bear. It's not like zero. I like this guy. I like that he's standing for black bears. I like this guy. No, but I totally agree.

He's a true zoologist. No, no, like I'm on your side. No, no, no, I know, I know. So the furs are a little bit. I mean, I'm fucking around to a degree because, zero to 10. Listen, guys. You're going, you're going zero.

Hey, we got to take this serious. You've seen a new jackass. So if you're locked in a garage with a black bear, you're not scared. That's what you're saying. No. I'd rather not be in a garage with him. You just said you would sit with honey in the middle of the street near a black bear. Yeah, well, the thing I'd hate about the garage is I'd want people to see me choke the life out of that black bear.

Johnny Knoxville, if you're watching, hit us up. I know. I agree with you, mano on mano, like black bear is going to run usually. More often than not. It's like it will run. If you're cornered with a black bear, like it's you're going to like you probably got a 50, 50, if you're going to kill it. Yeah, that's when I rope a dope.

You guys are insane. All right, so, so, so I'm saying, I'll give it a 3.5. Yeah, 3.5. They don't, they don't scare me. Plus, they're not slimy. Like, I'm more afraid of a black snake than a black bear, dude. And black snakes are actually good, good things to have around because they eat the, the bad snakes, and they keep things away.

But I've also heard stories of them biting motherfuckers, and I'd rather get attacked by a black bear than have a black snake latch onto my fucking leg for a 30. minutes because I've heard stories like that I'm gonna go I'm gonna go that's facts I'm gonna go seven okay that's and hearing your guys score is kind of a reason why a lot of these attack stories white people got are white people yeah white white white white boy we're white boy we respect animals and we fear animals so like when we see them if we do get the chance to see them in real life yeah we're gonna respect that fear yes even samuel jackson didn't see that shark coming he was he was respectful. He was in the designated area

in Deep Blue Sea. I thought you were about to go with snakes on the plane. Snakes on the plane. I thought that's where you were going. No, he has a thing for these movies, man. So. You respect to snakes. Yo, but speaking of that movie, like, that really could

happen. That smuggler with all those snake smuggler. No, he had all, they had like, they stopped them in the airport. Somebody smuggled a snake on our fucking team playing to a Super Bowl. On your... Yeah, dude. They brought it with them?

Nick Foles. Like, what kind of snake? There you go. I get it. Okay, go ahead. You were talking about a snake smuggler. There's actually a really good book called the Lizard King, which is about this drug smuggler who got too many drug smuggling like Boston was going to go to prison for like 30 years.

And then you just started smuggling reptiles. Oh, yeah, dude. That's the that's really a provocative business. Yeah, like smuggling like Madagascan tortoises that were like set he was selling them to zoos and like What is it about these small turtles that like whenever you hear about these stories do you see them see people who get caught? It's always like the little turtles that you can buy like at like every block in New York City. You can buy these little turtles. I don't know supposedly like they're like so like illegal and a lot of people be risking it like I I wonder what the market is like how much money. they're really making doing this the more unfriendly a dog looks the more people pay for it dude so i don't understand you know what makes people tick with pets Nate you said seven and a half for a black bear so is a grizzly bear just going off the chart bro do a theory uh any any type of any type of bear

like you're not going to convince me that like any type of bear is there are two different species almost i don't care like like trying to rhyme now any type of bear i don't care i don't care i don't Dude, listen, if you seen it, if I seen a bear in the wild, like nothing about it, like, I think I might like freeze and shock, but at the same token, nothing's going to make me feel like, oh, I'm comfortable. Yeah. Or like, hey, I shouldn't be afraid right now. Yeah. So we keep coming back to black bears because they're everywhere and everybody has a black bear story. But I was eating a fucking steak watching two, 350 pound black bear just. like roam my backyard. I was sitting in the back of the pickup truck because I couldn't, I wasn't confident enough to just parade the steak around. I had to walk like through them to get back into my house. But I ate a whole meal. They didn't disturb me. I just sat there, bro. Finish my steak. Incredible. So yeah, anyways. I mean, we got to establish 10 out of 10 right here because there's only one North American

predator that's absolutely 10 out of 10. Oh, yeah, yeah. That's 10 out of 10. Billy, I'm glad you said that because according to the book, Who Would Win? Which you might be familiar with. I think we talked about it on macro dosing, which my son owns the whole fucking set. But I didn't have the books on my person here. I had to look it up on

Amazon, by the way. You can actually get spoilers on Amazon. They give you the whole book. Like I just was able to flip through the whole thing. I don't even have to buy the thing. The grizzly bear beats the polar bear. And I believe it's because the grizzly bear has better leverage, Billy. Two feet shorter.

better leverage more neck stability the polar bear davis mills the polar bear is jealous of davis mills like the polar bear's got that long skinny neck i think i think grizzly bears come out with the win i think that's probably like um depending on who has home court advantage like that type of fight i feel like you put the grizzly bear on the ice with the polar bear the polar bear gets them and vice that's a really that's a really good that's a good call billy you you feel much differently I have to say because polar bears are one of the only animals that actively, I'm talking about human, like getting humans because polar bears used to hunt Inuits and all of those Arctic tribes. Like they used to write stories about how polar bears would stock and hunt them for miles and like fighting off these polar bears. And they're probably, I think they're the only animal on earth besides like tigers that actively has humans in its diet.

Yeah, dude. Actually, I'm on your, I'm on your side on this thing. Like, science points to it. The only evidence I had was who would win. They're fucking terrifying. Maybe against a grizzly, they are weakened because honestly now I'm thinking about it, grizzlies probably fight other grizzlies more than polar bears fight other polar bears. That's the thing. Polar bears are like, you know, the kid at the private school who hasn't played anybody. You know what I mean? Like you or me a little bit. You used to play like Nate's school in football, right? Because you guys. King Lowe Hayward, right? The King School. Oh, you went to King School? Yeah, see? Yeah. We played each other.

Well, he's a little older. I'm a little older. But I just think the polar bear, yeah, he's a little bit like you or me. It's like, man, you got all this territory and, like, you have a run up on another bear. Like, I want to see what happens when he sees, you know, a grizzly bear. And another thing about a grizzly bear, and I know snow blindness and blending into the, to the, another thing that's scary about a polar bear. It's 10 feet tall.

So the reason they, you know, like they don't, they don't look as big as that, even though they look huge, is there's nothing to scale them next to it. You know, there's no trees, rocks. And I think the trees and the rocks are what scared the shit out of me about grizzly bear. Like, I'm going to be in Montana. Like, I will pack, like, every time I'm on the trail. You know what I mean? Like, because it's thick, dude. And they'll come out of, you know, there'd be a five foot thick at a, just brush.

And you won't even hear them in a barrel just stand up. And if you're in between a bear in the Cubs, like, you're fucked. So for that reason, the proximity of grizzly bears and like the fact that you're, why would you run into a polar bear like in your lifetime? I'm not going to be up there. They don't scare me as much. Well, I mean, grizzlies are insane. I mean, like I would put, I think you do have a chance against a grizzly because you can climb a tree. Yeah.

So I'd put him at like nine, like nine eight. If you see a polar bear. Yeah, yeah. They're right there. If you see a polar bear to your point, there's nowhere you can go. And it depends on who's home. court advantages. We'll run through. So we did bears. We'll do mountain lions, wolves, and coyotes. Fear index those four. Okay, Mountain Lions, I'm going nine and a half.

Nine, nine. Viral video. They're just shy of, they're just shy of Grizzlies for me. That video, watching that Mountain Cat do that two-hand swipe to that guy running them up the hill. Yeah. Yeah. Was terrifying. And they hunt, they hunt you. They will stock you. Yeah, mountain lines. So all those, you know when they talk about missing 911, missing seven, there's some documentary about missing people in natural, national parks. Yeah. All of them can always be like chucked up to a mountain line, taking somebody, taking them up a tree, and then, you know, the body disintegrates. They don't find the bones. And then it gets caught on the side. Like the rocks go over it.

Like a bunch of children go missing from Mount Lions. They are also like some of the best killers in the world. Yeah. So they're real athletes, man. I think, but like there are stories of like people fighting off mountain lions with a stick. Oh, like there is. There's a wrestler, a former wrestler choked one out. So what they are is they're the sucker punch kings.

Yeah. Yeah. Like, you know, like face to face, unless it's the real jacked one that went viral one time, he was all trapped out. Like I walked around the corner. And this guy was built like, like, you know, Patrick Willis or something, dude. Those guys, I'm afraid of. But like a medium-sized one, yeah, I feel like I got a decent shot of scaring it off.

But imagine it just jumps out the tree down on you while you walking. Then you're fucked. Then you're fucked, dude. If they beat you to the punch, you're fucked. They're like an undersized guard. And all type of cats, cats are the same. Like house cats and these bigger cats, they're all the same. When they get their predators, like they fuck around with it.

So it's not like you're just going to, they're not going to kill you right away. They're going to let you run and then grab you, drag you around. Yeah, dude. Yeah, it's not going to be fun. But also a grizzly bear will like rip your face off and maybe just like leave and just let you and then come back. Like their stories of grizzly bears like leaving and then coming back. So I feel like for that reason, I'd almost rather get lunch by a mountain line. They go for the neck.

It can be over quick. Yeah. wolves and coyotes. Okay, coyotes not afraid of them. They're like a four for me. Like, they're like north of a dog. But they travel in packs, though. I'm not worried about that.

We're going one animal. Grown-ass wolves, I'd probably put in the same, I don't know. We talk about, we've had the area and foster discussion about wolves. He's wrong. Yeah. Are dire wolves real? They once were. All I know is some of those fucking wolves they have up north.

here. You know, I forget whether the timber wolves or like the Canadian timber wolves or whatever, but the biggest ones, when you see them, like, there's pictures on the internet of like a standard wolf hung up next to a like one of these supersized wolves. And they're really big? They're terrifying, dude. So dire wolves actually what they call the prehistoric wolf. A pack of wolves, a hundred percent. You're dead. Look at this guy. Look at this guy holding up a wolf here. Oh, yeah. That's like a baby bear. At that point, they're just all in the eight and a half, nine range. Guys, all these animals are from the seven to ten range for me, no doubt. Coyotes too?

Yes. You're tripping, dude. Why? But like, here's the thing. It's just like, coyotes, brother. Like, why wouldn't you be afraid of like a, like a, like a, when I hear coyotes, I'm excited and I go outside. So like, you know what I mean? Like, if the sound of the animal doesn't send you indoors, like, I'm not, you know what I'm saying?

You could roundhouse kick a coyote and win. Yeah, you could get, yeah, like you get sexy with it. You could, you could get sexy with it and beat a kite. You could, you could do. Yeah, you can get cocky. You can get like a little Floyd manwether. You guys are thinking of the best case scenario. You guys would be fucking scared out of your mind, first off.

Like, you're not going to be able to roundhouse kick a rushing coyote. and it's probably going to grab your ankle. Like, and then what? It's much smaller than you think. Coyotes are larger foxes, basically. And foxes are bigger than you think they are, but absolutely, Billy, the same thing. Yeah.

Like coyotes, and mostly they travel alone, at least in the Northeast, coyotes usually travel as loners, so you're not dealing with a pack. And usually they're just trying to take out, like, chicken. Like, you know, I had coyotes. They destroyed my chicken. coop. RIP,

RIP. Coyote just barely registers for me. That's last out of that group. I'll go Cougar second behind the Grizzly. Grizzly at like a nine Cougar 8.6. And then, you know, behind that a ways, I'll go wolf at

eight. Yeah. Because yeah, I don't know. No pause. It's all mouth. Liam Neeson might have, may or may not have killed that wolf at the end of the movie with the airplane bottles, duct to his fist.

Have you ever seen that movie? You need to see that movie. The gray. It's a great movie. If you could domesticate one animal, what do you think it would be? Yeah, I was thinking about this a lot. And I was like fully domesticated, like listens to you, predictable, like has a, and the thing is you want something that with a great usage, because you want something that you can use.

Yeah. Because like the point of, like, if you domesticate a bear, like what the hell are you going to use it for. Snuggle? Yeah. Snuggle with it? Snuggle with it. Like,

maybe protection. I kind of practice wrestling. I thought about a bear. I thought about a bear for that reason. Can you imagine like you don't need a pillow or anything? It's like a huge body pillow. Yeah. Homeboys just laid up in the corner of your room.

And it's like you're a toddler. It just hugs you. You need a hug, bro. You know how kids just use an oversized bear to like post up on in the corner. Like, that's what I would do. You just get home from work and you don't have like a lazy boy. You just sit on the bear. I have a bear. It just takes its paws and puts it over you. So I would, you know, like there's so many cool animals you get domesticate, but I don't think

many of them would have uses. Except an orca that you could ride on. And like, instead of having a jet ski. Like, let's say you use some waterfront property. Magic wand, like, you like whistle into the ocean. Orca pulls up. You just saddle it up and then you just hop on your orca and you just go like drive around the lake or like whatever, just like going and you just riding on top of it. This is fucking good. It's like the banana boat, but an actual animal. I was going to cheat and I was going to say I would domesticate a Pokemon for the same reason that. So you can ride a Pokemon?

Yeah. Like certain Pokemon you can get on and just fly. You just busted the guard rails down. That's not a real animal. Okay. So if I had to pick a real animal, I would probably put it. pick a raccoon because they have thumbs and they can they can probably help you all you get locked out of your house they can open they can open the door for you bro they can like

they can go and grab things for you you ever seen a raccoon have you ever heard of an assistant no you're saying if you want to like a domesticated animal like for a reason what would what what would you're a raccoon but but the way you're defining the usage of a raccoon like if you if you could do this you could pay a human being to do this stuff like no but like why would I want to do that if I can just like instead of having you'd rather have a you'd rather imagine if you're rather forego the chance at having a bear imagine if you're to protect you or or you know like you know snuggle you who says the raccoon's not gonna protect me make noise alarm clock and you'll be scared as hell you'll be scared as hell you'll be

scared as hell you're trying to rob a house and you see a raccoon yeah yeah yes you would no absolutely what the hell absolutely but I'm saying you're passing up the chance at all these other animals a fucking orca that can take you to work you can live on the other side of the sound oh here you go how are you going to feed it how are you going to feed it how are you going to keep up with it what are you going to do if if if you go somewhere that's not close to water that's interesting you took into account the high

maintenance nature of most animals and you picked a raccoon I mean I was in my mind imagining it it would be more like a like a horse like if you had a horse you have like you just let it just gonna point it no you're going to point it off You don't let horses roam. You give them to people to take care of. Horses just don't roam. But they graze on the land.

They stay in a stable all day most of the time. I mean, this thing would be so domesticated. I'd like go to my dock. I'd like whistle. It'd be out hunting and stuff and feeding itself. And then I'd like probably throw him some fish as treats at the end of the day. Yeah.

And stuff. He rolls up. I hop on the back of it or like saddle it up. With some mackerel. Yeah. Just like, then I like. You know, go across the Hudson River. Yeah, go across the Hudson River.

It's at work every day. And what's the real estate like? You could live anywhere. Like, you know, you could redefine the, you know, your commute is irrelevant. Yeah. You know, so that's a really good answer. So you're going to buy an orca. What's the code?

You're going to buy Orca and put it in the Hudson River. That's what he's doing. This guy. I mean, it wouldn't be the best water, but. No, it wouldn't be. So what's the code on two people sitting? like riding like a motorcycle together, does somebody have to get on the back of the dorsal fin?

Yeah, I mean, you probably do split the, you, you know, like you don't sit on one side of the fin. Somebody sits in front, somebody sits behind and holds on.

I was thinking of some sort of saddle connected to the dorsal fin and you got to wrap it under. And like, you know that like, certainly. I mean, orcas are pretty, like the ones in SeaWorld,

they're not happy, but you can get them to do tricks. So to get them to turn over to like, I was thinking about this, like, to connect, like, a belt underneath their belly. They do that little flip, so you could just, like, easily throw something on there. And in this scenario, for the record, anybody listening, like, none of this is serious. Okay? Like, we're not actually going to do this to any of the animals.

I'm sure we're going to get a review. Well, it'd be the first in a while. But I'm sure we're going to get a review that says we're fucking animal haters. We're not, dude. We love animals. imagine if you like okay oh this would be sick imagine if like hypothetically you had a house in the hamptons and like you live in new york and you just like call upon your orca and then you just on a friday just go up the coast to your house hell yeah dude hell yeah that would be sick

swimming through sand harbor on your orca fucking i don't put it past the california condor to do the same thing for you and you don't have to get wet but you got to deal with birds which is not something I'm into. It's only the biggest, it's got the biggest wing span in the world, I want to say. Of course. I mean, if it actually could, if it could support a human, anything that could fly would be the best. Yeah, A1.

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9789 All right So got another animal question For you Best animal performances And movies guys I got a controversial one Okay

The cobra and Raiders The Lost Ark Oh my god Dude he went with a snake I'll tell you why Okay So you got to take in The mental capabilities

Of these animals Yeah It is almost impossible To train reptile tiles. Yes. But this was probably the most well-trained snake in Hollywood. But bro, if you go to India, they have piles of snakes like this is the cheapest labor that they ever got for a movie. Like anybody could have done that snake's job. There's a couple of others. I wanted to give that snake its props. Yeah. No, we should, we should mention him. Yeah.

We should mention him. You're absolutely right. And also shout out to the snake in Temple of Doom that died and gave us all those small snakes for that dinner scene. True. But the cobra spat on command. Yeah, it did. It got up, spat on command, and then kept going without striking, which is something that never happens. Wasn't there a monkey in the same movie? Temple of Doom?

So, yeah, I don't know. Some people would say that wasn't even the best animal performance in the series. True, but training a monkey is, they're smart. play. Yeah, I could train. Yeah. No, so the most, the movie for me is the Ace Ventura Pet Detective. There's so many animals in that movie when you go back to think about it. And just to think having to train all those and have all those different animals like on set at the- Smells like shit at work. It probably smells awful. It probably smells awful with all the different type of animals that are there that you have to take care of different sounds you're hearing.

And I could just imagine that doing different, like just hearing different type of commands and orders that like these handleways. How about Snowflake? You know, like speaking of Ace Ventura, how about that fucking dolphin? Way, dolphin. Doesn't get enough credit. Flipper gets way too much credit, man. Wasn't Flipper like mechanical for half the movie?

Flipper couldn't even do all the scenes. So when you look, when you talk about dolphins in the film, industry. Don't tell me that Flipper is the gold fucking standard. Snowflake was the gold standard. Snowflake was like ran over. Yeah, dude. Black Phillip in a horror movie,

The Witch. It's that black goat. But I saw this in that goat acted like, it's very hard to train goats. But this goat could walk on its hide legs and then speak like a human. Whoa. Hold on a second. Great performance of an animal. It's called the witch.

it was like based on like you know the Salem witch trials and just look up Black Phillip because this goat literally acts I'm looking at the promo oh it's an A24 movie they're all weird I love it yeah it's like

the goat's the devil like not only was this animal acting well but it also acted creepy oh my God I got to watch this movie holy shit Billy good pull okay the director said that the goat if we wanted him

to be doing something violent, he wanted to go to sleep. If he was supposed to be standing still, he was running around like a madman. That's fucking funny as shit. They just kept the cameras rolling the whole time and put together whatever footage they had. Yeah, that's funny as shit. Totally unrelated, but there's this YouTube channel called The Mink Man, who trained a monitor lizard. Oh, man. Which is like almost impossible.

That's what they say. Like, he was like, he was an animal trainer and he trained minks. He domesticated minks. which are like ferrets. Yeah. But he uses them for like non-in, non-toxic pest removal. So if you have like rats or stuff, he'll release his minks into your house. And they'll just like just kill all like the animals like all the mice and pull up the bodies.

I just showed you a video like that. Like yeah, with the snakes and the rats. So there's like a viral video that they're like in a house. And these dudes, they take a snake and they cut a little. hole in the wall and they put the snake in the wall and they put a bin so right under this hole and the snake goes in there and like 25 mice start running out of this hole and at the end of it the snake just comes back out the hole and it was the creepiest thing I've ever seen but easy like great pest removal like yeah not not messy yeah efficient works well you just got to have a snake

in your house and after that I can't go back in so no I mean like we're good now you also got no drywall yeah you got a no dry wall you got a no dry wall where are we on the cartel guys getting getting did you see the monkey that had a bulletproof vest on the other day yes did you blog about that billy I blog that that monkey looked dead seem to break your rule dude well the the if there's a criminal enterprise of all this it's fair game the monkey the monkey the monkey was caught up in a RICO case. Okay.

So, like, he's part of the organization. Yeah. If he wants to live that lifestyle, he knew what he was getting into. He did. I mean, he put on the vest. There is a video of that monkey with a gun. Yeah, dude. But also that totally, does that take monkeys off the board for domestication?

Because, like, if that monkey didn't, couldn't protect those guys with a gun in a bulletproof vest, like, it's not really, I mean, the raccoon. I'm on team raccoon, dude. raccoon over team monkey dude i really am dude there's there was in india a stray dog killed a baby monkey so the monkeys went to war on the stray dogs and were like stealing puppies and it was literally they like ganged up there's a video the monkeys were grabbing puppies running up the trees and spiking them and like just because one stray dog killed the baby monkey they went to total war Oh my God, dude.

That sounds like unrivaled, the E-60. Yeah. You know, just like an all-out war between two teams. Imagine living and getting caught up in a gang war with animals. Some cities are like, there's, I mean, it's like that. And so I've seen cities that are overrun with animals, like very urban areas that have like hundreds of monkeys running through there or hundreds of like raccoons and shit. Like America, we're pretty sheltered with our like urban wildlife.

We don't have urban wildlife in America. New York City just with rats. Oh, I guess that's it. But, you know, some countries, you could get lunch by a tiger. If you live near a cartel, you can get lunch by a tiger that got loose. There was a tiger that got loose the other day. If you live in South Carolina, you could get lunched by a tiger down there. Not in downtown Colombia.

Who knows? You're right. You're right. All those animals, those people down there. Who knows who has a tiger down there? You're damn right. It's a really good point, Nate. Think about that.

I blogged that tiger story. too that was related to the monkey incident that raid in retaliation for that raid they released the tiger into Mexico. Wow, they're fighting a proxy war. Yeah, they're with animals. Oh my god, there was a big story that

that happened at one of those ranches, the dude was about to get caught, and he just released like 30, yeah, in Ohio. Yeah, in Ohio and it was like 30 animals. Yeah, it was like a suicide. But it was like tigers, yeah, I know. Like, imagine that. Imagine you.

bro imagine you looking out your window and you're like yo was that a fucking giraffe or a like whatever you might think it is so basically hey like uh private zoo is an untimely death away from being jumanji you know what i mean like that's it it just like don't have a bunch of fucking animals in your house well one of the cops one of the cops from that breakout like he says that in the moment he said that it was like playing buck hunter in like the extra level when they throw like predators and bears at you. I'm so good at that. And he, yeah, he. I don't know, dude. He gets PTSD about shooting all these large animals with like his service weapon. It never ends well if you have like those animals.

If you, anytime somebody purchases those animals, they should think about like, do you ever hear a happy ending? You know? Mike Tyson. Mike Tyson because he was able to get out and he actually made money, you know,

in a movie. There's a movie. Yeah, there's a movie. Mike Tyson's the Mike Tyson must be an angel dude Someone asked him He survived like boxing All the shit he survived he survived Tiger ownership

Someone asked him like how do you How do you own tigers Like he's like you don't He's like you don't He's like I got scratched by them He was like I've been like bit by them a little bit He was like it was insane I fucking for one

I'm afraid of all these animals Reed we had a couple more Non-animal related mailbag typeies that's right Billy give us your most and least useful muscles calves are the least useless muscle

that is just ridiculous I know yeah he has who he's talking to the only muscle I have is a calf muscle played in the NFL 11 years I have one muscle

and most useful muscle sacrospinallis okay let me see what this that that's the muscle that runs over your spinal cord.

Okay. Sacrospinallis. And this protects all the nerves and stuff like that, Doc. And also, as someone who's like, like, I cracked my L5 vertebrae. Yeah. Like playing football in middle school. And it was the most debilitating thing ever. Oh, my God.

So back injuries in that was like the worst. Okay. I got one for you here. Most useful. Tibialis anterior. You know that one, Billy? Your tibia? So it's near your tibia.

It's on the anterior side of your tibia. Is that like your groin? No, it's the fucking muscle in the front when you dorsiflex. So point your toes towards your forehead if you're sitting down. And it's that muscle and it's your front calf. You think the calf is the most useless.

On the other side is a very useful muscle because what it does is it's critical to gait because the movement clears the foot off the ground during the swing phase. If we didn't have one of these muscles, Billy, we would just fall over on our faces every time we tried to walk. No, that's facts. I mean, it's probably way more useful than the calf. Yeah, well, no offense to me, but yeah.

I mean, I have both of them, bro. I have both of them. I'm flexing my mind. Look at that shit. Look at that shit, bro. I think you guys are both wrong. I'm going to go with the tongue. Is it probably the most use?

It's a muscle. Is it a muscle? It's actually, I. He stuck his tongue out. He's thinking about it. We might have to ask the smart guys who are actually in the back of the room. Guys, what is the tongue? The tongue is a muscle.

It's an extremely movable set of muscles. Yeah, that's facts. That's facts. Send it in. Send it is. And the tongue, why? Say again? For talking or for eating.

Could you imagine not like having a tongue? It could even work if we didn't have tongues, bro. We'd be out of work. Yeah. None of us would have any income, any source of income, dude. Calf model. Which, a Calf model, yes. I'd be just posting Caff Picks.

I'm not going to say this. My brother just posts Calf Picks. My brother just posts Calf videos. He plays golf and he turns that fucking back leg and that gastrox is just bulging, dude. That's what I would be doing if I didn't have a tongue. I was just going to tell this story when I was younger. I think it was like Lawrence of Arabia. there was like people in that movie who had their tongues cut out

because they were like they were captured and they cut out their tongues so they couldn't speak about the atrocities or something yeah and that was always a threat that like if I kept if I swore I'd get my tongue cut out like them so that's fucking young age your family was hardcore for your football league king Joffrey king Joffre acts that dude your tongue or your hand yeah dude it's a big deal facts what's your most useless I'm trying to trying to look it up to see if nostrils are a muscle. Like, do you really need your nostrils?

Oh my God, facts. You just won and lost the fucking... He threw the game. What do you mean? Bro. Like, you don't really... You just flex them in and out. And, like, thinking about it, if you have allergies,

the bigger your nostrils are open and it's the worst. You know, I actually agree with him. I actually agree with them. Like, what do you need it for? Like, let my nose... To breathe, man. But like they can just stay the same. Like you don't flex your nose to breathe.

Think about it. You don't. You do, you do. No, you don't. Like, you can do it purposely,

but like you don't fly. Look, you know, I know you can breathe that. But like, I guarantee you you're constantly flexing your nostrils to breathe. Now, you could have,

you could have been different if you didn't have to since the young age. This is my opinion. No, hey, listen. I just, it came out of left field, nostrils.

I think that, I think, I think the nostril muscles is one of those things that we, that we don't need anymore. You think we've grown out of nostrils? No, like it's like something that like our tailbones. No, dude. You know?

I have team keep nostrils here, dude. Like what do you really like like? The nostrils are cool, but like the muscles like literally. You just have like. What did you just do? What did you just do? You have to. Did you just cough?

I saw you flex your nostril when you coughed. No, because I'm doing like, because you were trying to get air, dude. Get out of here. Here's the last one. Yeah. What's one public place you could live? The mall, hands down.

Give me a mall. Malls have fountains. They have a fancy mall has a fountain and it has the Loxetons shop. I've got fucking food courts. I've got fucking sharper image. I can just get a massage whenever I want. Stop the cap. New shoes.

Just get bored with my shoes. Just throw them out. Go into foot locker. I actually saw you guys posting about this, but that guy who lives in the sculpture, you know, have you guys been talking about that? So you're saying to covertly, yes, this is what it comes from. The guy was living in this cube structure that was like rotating and people could rotate it. It's like art or something. Yeah.

What creative way to get an apartment in New York. Yeah. Supposedly he's not paying for it. So like that's, that's the kicker about it. Yeah. How did he do all that stuff? Because he got to, the artist. supposedly the artist of the sculpture

wants people to live in there no gave him permission like he wanted to do it okay so so now now go since it's about privacy it's like you know you gotta like you gotta live there like what was your answer because mall is out for me if there's people in there fuck that

a football stadium yeah there people only there for a day that's exactly right Baker Mayfield really yeah a football stadium because you only have to worry about football season people coming to your crib a couple of times a week, having visitors. But the off-season's long, you can, hey, like, you can have your space, do what you need to do.

And, yeah, Kanye stayed, Kanye was sleeping in a stadium when he was doing his last album. That's what he said. But maybe he just wanted to be away from Kim. But, you know, concerts, there is a lot of stuff in the off-season. Depending on what stadium, yeah. That's true. That's true. That's why you want to live in Lambeau Field.

So I can do Scott Stadium. We don't have a lot of things in Scott Stadium. Yeah, that's true. No, got a nice hill. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, it's true. Roll down that motherfucker, sled down it. I was going to say a Walmart, depending if it was the first definition of like a mall.

Yes. But no one's in it. I'd be like a Walmart. And then if it was like people can be in it, then I'd be like a Walmart in a very desolate area. Yeah. Walmart watching too can like take a lot of time. Like people watching and Walmart just like in your spare time.

Oh, man, that's one of my favorite things, dude. But you got to get one that's not 24, 24-7, so you get some downtime. The Walmart in Montana that I go to is off the chain, bro. I bet. It is amazing. It's amazing. Shout out to those good people. All right, Billy.

We'll catch you next time, buddy. Thank you so much for having me. Yeah, dude. Thanks for coming on. Yeah. Hey, this was awesome. Get off that sussie list, dude. Come on.

It's hard work, man. Yeah. Appeal, appeal. See you.