Green Light with Chris Long - Eagles Get Kerrigan! NBA Play-In! NHL Uniform Bracket! Mailbag: UFO's and Super-Kickers. Beer Taste Test.

Episode Date: May 18, 2021

(01:04) - Welcome, Layup Line, Chris' Friendship with United Airlines and Macon Giving Real Estate Discounts? (25:14) - Ryan Kerrigan to the Eagles and NFL Jersey Number Changes. (37:17) - Chris and Macon on the NBA Play-in Games. (43:42) - Chris and Macon Rank 2021 NHL Playoff Uniforms. (55:20) - Mailbag: Aliens, Airlines Weighing Passengers, Best Lives Among Professional Athletes, Drafting a Kicker #1 Overall? (1:07:29) - Cowboy Reids Beer Taste Testing. Green Light Spotify Music: https://open.spotify.com/user/951jyryv2nu6l4iqz9p81him9?si=17c560d10ff04a9b Spotify Layup Line: https://open.spotify.com/playlist/1olmCMKGMEyWwOKaT1Aah3?si=675d445ddb824c42 Green Light with Chris Long: Subscribe and enjoy weekly content including podcasts, documentaries, live chats, celebrity interviews and more including hot news items, trending discussions from the NFL, MLB, NHL, NBA, NCAA are just a small part of what we will be sharing with you. http://bit.ly/chalknetwork Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

A maid of honor went up and said, you know, the advice was life's about timing and it was only a matter of time before the right man appeared. Okay. Best man comes up and this had to be ad-libbed because he had just heard the toast right prior. And he says to his boy, congrats. Thank God you married her before that man came along. Oh, that's funny as hell, dude. It was funny as hell. Oh, that's good.

This is a public service announcement. this podcast might not be very good. I hope you'll listen anyways. Bloomington, Indiana. Hello. This pod might be cheeks, huh? This pod's gonna be terrible. All the way around.

I just don't want anybody to listen to this pod and then leave a review and be like, I don't like your pod a lot. Like, so if you, like, first off, I do read them every now and again. And it's unnecessary how much like a one-star bothers me because the reasoning is always shit. It's like, okay, well listen to another pod.

There's a disqualifying factor with this pod. You don't like my politics or you think we bullshit too much. Just listen to another pod. The audio levels weren't high enough. Yeah, dude. Well, that we could work on if something like that. But we got one of the best producers in the world. That should be a four out of five though, not a one out of five.

Yes. So I'm just saying like just know that, no, we're not going to have like some killer guest on today. No, we don't exist. exactly know what we're talking about today. There's a couple ideas we have, but it's not a lot going on. A little foggy brain. Brains are foggy.

Residual weekend stuff. My brain's so foggy, I got nothing to say about Bloomington. And I don't wanna offend anybody there, but I know that's the home of your side college sports program. Khan. One of your sides. Khan.

It is the home of Indiana University. Mayor went there. I know, you don't like Indiana? Like more than the average school? No, I don't think so. Really? Well, put it to you this way, I applied to eight schools, and Indiana was one of them.

What were the others? I applied to Virginia, William and Mary, Penn State, Syracuse, Boston College, Indiana, and Michigan, and Boston University. You really wanted to live in Boston for four years?

I don't know. There were draws. If I was doing it again now, the list would have been different. Yeah, where would you apply now? I hate to say it. Say it. Carolina.

Really? I mean, in addition to Virginia, of course. That's how you're getting the real from this guy on this podcast because he just said something. I'd give you and see a look. I respect the school. I respect the town of Chapel Hill. I'd probably give UGA a look.

I like those big schools. The loaded question for me. I'll get back to you another day. Okay. Listen. Lay up line. The house course of millions. I'm sitting on the beach and the only thing I know if it's furnish, I'm going to take it.

My bathtub lift up. My walls do a 360. Did you hear that song? It's hard for either of our brains to compute noises coming in through our earholes. But yeah, decibels high. Yeah. Quality of song high, I thought. You liked it.

Yeah, I couldn't pick up many of the words. It's called, we're going to make it. Oh, by Jada Kiss. Yeah, on an album called Kiss the Game Goodbye. Jada Kiss, terrific, terrific MC. And splits time on that song with one of his locks partners, Stiles P. Yeah, there was some real estate references in that song. Sitting on the beach and the only thing I know is if it's furnished, I'm going to take it.

That's what Stiles P said. I feel like you got a leg up on him. He'd be impressed if he ever moved to Sharper. Charlottesville. And Jadikis is from Yonkers, New York. That's right. We once called one of my previous homes Yonkers briefly. It wasn't like a running joke. But there was a, and this might all be redacted, a dead cat put into a plastic bag and thrown into my backyard. Yeah, I remember when you moved in there. We shouldn't take this out because Lord knows we might not say anything else mildly entertaining on this podcast. And then so I googled it, maybe you Googled it. And the only sign

of hey, this is a message was from a story in Yonkers or like a deceased cat in a plastic bag is like a gang. Some sort of a gang message. Like the way you would send somebody a LinkedIn message in the professional setting, in the gang setting, you might drop a dead cat in a bag in somebody's backyard. That's what happened to you, your first day moving into this house.

No, no, no, no, not my first day. That first couple weeks. First year, for sure. I feel like it was pretty early. I feel like first impressions are tough to shake and that was one for you. Well, maybe I was in the neighborhood a few months and they were like, nah.

Well, you hit me up like one day, you're like, there's a dead cat in my yard. I was like, well, sometimes cats die. And then you were like, no, there's an extenuating circumstance here. There's a cat's in a bag. And there's blood. It's in a bag and there's blood.

So you said, what do I do with it? As a squeamish fellow, this was a bad scene to come pond. A tough scene, as the kids say. I'll tell you how it ended. It ended with my walking down the middle of the street with the dead cat in the bag on a shovel.

And I went to the nearest construction site. This is a bad move. It's bad business. And I threw it in a dumpster. But I walked down so that anybody who potentially was sending me a message saw that I wasn't to be trifled with. Yeah. I walked down the middle of the street to a dumpster

and had a lovely burial. Several people spoke, we really sent that cat off in style. Turns out though, a lovely place to live and no other incidents from there on out. So one way or another, all good. With cats out of the back now. Nice. I listened to some podcasts this weekend for the first time,

driving on a long road trip down to the lake with a buddy. And I noticed that a lot of podcasts, people don't really, they don't have a plan, they just talk. Kind of like what we're doing right now. Yeah, so I feel like today we're kind of like a lot of other podcasts. What if this is just elite? We've got a case of the fucking Mondays here. And so the irony of the song choice for Layup Line is we're going to make it.

I don't think we are going to make it. By the way, we're going to try to get some mailbag in. I think Macon's going to have to scoot at some point. point here after that time period I'm going to go outside and then I'm going to come back in and do as much of the mailbag as I can and do some beer taste testing so you got that to look forward to but making might be gone and I get it uh man's got things to do he's got he's got MLS to flip not flip sling sling there was an MLS question in the mailbag that I don't want to let like get lost in the shuffle it was for you Ryan calmly says long time listener

first time commenter will make and eventually be giving listeners a discount on his take of real estate commish if perhaps we should become future clients. Answers absolutely not. Discounted fees, Chris, mean discounted work. Okay. Hey Doc, I really appreciate your willingness to repair my torn labrum. But because of our prior relationship, I'm gonna need a discount on this surgery. That's right. I don't know. Biggest investment you'll ever make in your life.

And you want a discount. I'd like throw my hat in the ring for a cut like a commission because we are amplifying your services. So I mean like maybe like a 0.5% of every sale. 0.5% of every sale? Yeah. How about 0.5% of my commission on every sale? Yeah, that'd be tight.

Deal. Okay. All right. Let's do that. Okay. Kickbacks. I think that's what's called, illegal.

Is it illegal? Yeah, fairly illegal. Well, maybe not, actually, no. Another fiduciary side note, if I might. You know, other day, some things about jerseys came up in the pod, trading jerseys, that type of thing. Other day, Dante Hightower finally got a jersey. He's been, me and, me and High wanted to trade jerseys after New England.

And finally got around to send him one last year, and then he bothered me. Like when somebody gives me a jersey and I think a lot of that player, I'm like that that player doesn't want my jersey in actuality. It's just a formality. I used the process to grab a 54. He really fucking wanted my jersey for some reason and bothered me for a year. And you know my brain. I mean, it just fell through the cracks.

But he finally got one the other day and was excited about it. But it's on his story. And a lot of people saw it because I re-shared it. And what I didn't think about was the fact that some people would ask me this last week if they could have a jersey for their wall. Uh-oh. And I definitely want you guys to know, I will definitely sign your jersey that you purchase.

I will sign the $150 jersey that you purchase because I got kids, man, $150. I'll put it in these terms. It's kind of like when people used to ask for free tickets, which is always a thing. I knew. I knew this is where this is going on. Well, I didn't plan to go here. But a lot of times, you know, people would say like, hey, you got some tickets this weekend. And I think they imagine, you know me, I'm generous.

V generous. In fact, that's maybe a fault is at times I can get taken advantage of. But at some point in my career, I said, all right, I'm going to let these people know how much these tickets cost. And we actually have to acquire them. It's not like they fall out of the sky.

If you're on the team, they cost $150. So when somebody asks for three tickets to a game, you're asking for a $450 gift. And it's not Christmas. It's not your birthday. And you know how I feel about birthdays. Whoopty fucking do. Okay.

So in short, I'm not giving you a five, 500 bucks out of thin air. Same thing with jerseys. There are 150 bucks. If you called me and asked me, hey man, let's go grab a bite to eat, hadn't seen you in a while.

At the end, you made me pay the bill and then give you $100. That's what me buying you a jersey out of thin air is. Quick check in, 24 year friendship. When is my birthday?

It's July. That's right. 16th. 9th. Why do you always go 16th? I mean, we've dialed it into it in a week. I guess that's an improvement.

Golly day. Dude, I just got an awesome, also shout out to Michelle. I got an awesome executive assistant here and the first order of business. She'll be reminding you every year. No, it's the first order of business is to get everybody's birthdays on a sheet, like a calendar type thing, but just for birthdays. And then we go from there. Your previous home, you had a post-it note of your best friend's birthdays.

Meg probably wrote it. Yeah, yeah. Which is thoughtful. We were trying. We were trying. You were trying. And I made the list, but just didn't make the brain. But well, here's the deal. You matter to me every day, not just July 10th.

Thank you. Thank you. What you're saying is true. First time I ever went to one of your games, I was like, $150. It's a lot of money to watch the St. Louis Rams play. I saw the contract terms. I could just pay for Red Zone and you'll get all of our games. There's no rookie wage scale. We were like the on the Ocho of NFL games. Your opponents were on Red Zone. Yeah, where our opponents were on Red Zone. We were playing defense. in the red zone. When we weren't giving up big plays. So when we were in Red Zone,

we were kind of excited. We were making them earn it. What else do we got? I mean, this is a regular podcast. We got to come up with a name for this podcast. This is like a core group podcast. This is for the core group.

This is for our core listeners. Nobody who just arrived here is going to be like, what a great podcast. It's like when you're doing those planks, you might call them bridges. Yeah. It's the grunt work. It's not pretty,

but you got to do it. Yeah. When you're an athlete, they say like it's what you do when nobody's watching well everybody's listening yeah unfortunately that that quote doesn't apply here so hey i'm sorry folks fire shows for like months on end fire coming up and then we both have big weekends and then end up with no guess may i tell you about my weekend yeah tell me because i'm telling you i'm running on e bad vibes like make you you say i'm pulling in you know, I'm a reverse into my spot guy.

Oh, you pulled in front. And I was like, I know this is going to be a bad day. When I parked that fucking pickup straight ahead, it's going to be a bad day. Yeah. At every turn for me today, something has gone wrong. So I feel you. My weekend involved a wedding and everything was outside. It felt pretty comfortable, actually, from a safety standpoint.

But five, count them. Five Stella R-toazes for your boy. Damn, dude. Yeah. over about, I don't know, five hours. Did somebody check on you at all hours a night to make sure you were still breathing? It felt pretty good.

The next day felt great. I mean, that's just a nice light beer evening. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. But what I want to highlight is a toast. Now, I'm a toast snob. I think I give good toast, maybe not at my own wedding, though Kenny Maine did laugh. Yeah, he did.

Organically. Very organic. And that sounds like Kenny Maine was at my wedding, which he was not. No, the backstory, if you didn't listen to the pot last week, is at his wedding, which was lovely. He planted me as a laffer during his toast, which had a inside baseball, Blues Brothers joke, which I wouldn't have gotten. So I'm very glad he said that to me because I was the only person that laughed. So at any right, get into this toast here.

Most toasts are bad. I hate to tell y'all. Yeah, baseball, you're batting 300. You're like an all-timer. but if you're batting 150 in toasts, I mean, like, that's the top 15% are the ones that make plays. So this particular wedding, a good toast.

But I wanted to highlight one thing in particular. Maid of Honor went up and said, you know, the advice was life's about timing and it was only a matter of time before the right man appeared. Okay. Best man comes up and this had to be ad-libbed because he had just heard the toast right prior. And he says to his boss,

boy, congrats. Thank God you married her before that man came along. Oh, that's funny as hell, dude. It was funny as hell. Oh, that's good. Big guttural laugh from me and several others. I mean, that's money. So shout out to that guy.

That's a dude. Wow, that's a good toast. Yeah, solid. I mean, that's the best way to have a good toast is to play on something that's happened that night because although people are not often perceptive enough to realize if you over-rehearsed it or not. it unlocks a certain like, okay, we're here. So shout out to that guy.

The cat was reading from notes, which isn't necessarily a bad thing, but he started with through the years and I thought, oh no, here we go. Yeah, you start with through the years. But ended very strong. The notes are also a self-handicapping thing. You wanna give a great speech.

And it's always been very organic for me, not giving great speeches, but being self-deprecating because I literally hate my fucking self. But like you get up there, you let everybody in the stands know that you hate yourself. and then you're going to be all right like do it somehow same thing with the notes yeah you just laugh

that was my laugh thank same thing with the notes the notes are just like hey guys i'm fucked like at a wedding recently and this is a true story i went out in the parking lot to smoke a joint shocking well i went out in the parking lot to smoke a joint rather than guzzling like big alcohols semen um like everybody else at these parties shout out stella artois i'm doing a beer tasting later but anyways they go out the parking lot to smoke a joint and um i come back in and realize i got to give a speech so internal struggle is you got to know your audience so this would seem like a layup and self-handicapping but i knew my audience wouldn't laugh at that at this particular wedding so i got up and talked about how i was writing notes in my phone which let people know that i'm nervous and

after that they're with you so my little two cents on giving wedding toast which i bad at about 650 on. Yeah, I don't doubt that. Your boy's pretty good himself. Oh, you're good. I'm a, I'm a commit to memory cat, although I'm getting older, shoot, might have to go notes up.

You might write things on your hand. I've done that before, but I did that very organically. Again, you know me. I mean, I'm liable to write notes on my hand right before I have to do something important, like take a test in high school and I write my notes on my hand for a different reason.

So my weekend was I went down to Smith Mountain Lake and had a grand old time. Took a bunch of somebody fooled me into thinking that a commercial airlines flight was a space shuttle. And I had one of the most touching 10 minute experiences of my life

thinking that I saw this space shuttle. It was beautiful. It was launching over the cliffs there. But I got fooled into that. I slept four hours. Sat by the fire, grinning my ass off until 4 in the morning, drinking, smoking,

doing the whole thing. Got four hours. came home and my in-laws were there and I love my in-laws. But like the house is full and it was great to see everybody, but I'm totally spent, dude. I haven't had any time to prep for this pod. Long, D&P, brain, comma, general malaise. Yep, general malaise.

You know what? Perfect segue. United Airlines, flying objects, United Airlines, we're friends now. Pretty unlikely story. That was terrific. Pretty unlikely story that me and United Airlines their buddies now.

You legitimately thought you were getting bounce from the club. I thought, I thought maybe, and as the background, somebody texted me, Tori Smith texts me earlier about, what did you do with United Airlines?

And I was like, I don't want to sound douchy, but Google it, bro. Fucking, the thing made waves in the social media airline circle. Like all the social media managers had a meeting.

I think all the social media managers around the country for big airlines had a meeting this week. you can confirm her deny. I know we've got some people that probably do social for like Spirit Airlines listening to this motherfucker. But they're on notice now because every time somebody in the NFL, like a peer of mine complains about their lost luggage or, you know, they didn't get enough peanuts on the flight or, you know, their flight was delayed.

Like in actuality, holy shit, bro, you're one of millions of Americans flying around in the sky and metal tubes simultaneously to get where they need to go. If you lived in the 1800s, dude, you know. If only. Yeah, it'd be a horse and buggy. Let's be happy. I mean, fuck, your flight attendant doesn't know why the pilot lied. The pilot might not know why the pilot gave you false expectations about getting off the runway

or how long you're taxing. That's my attitude. Once you've opted into air travel, which sucks, undeniably it sucks. Once you've opted in, though, it's hard for you to complain about it. I'm starting to get the same way about Twitter. does no good to complain about it, just don't opt in so much. Well, airlines the same way. Take the drive, okay?

But here's the deal. Sometimes flights are delayed, sometimes, you know, you don't get your bags. The woman at the desk, she didn't tag your bag, so don't take it out on her. And then when you start screaming to the internet about, you know, this, that, and the third,

there has to be an end game. Our friend, Mark Ingram, who I really like. Number two now, which we'll talk about in a minute, about in a minute on the Houston Texans formerly of the Ravens and the Saints. Roll damn tied. RTR. RTR. R.T.R. Roll Tide, Roll. Homa Harvey Updike. God rest his soul.

They're not dead yet, but they will be. Spike 80 juice. Mark Ingram is what we're talking about and he was complaining. He had General malaise because he didn't get his baggage when he arrived somewhere and was just taking United to task and he was never going to fly United again and all this stuff. Just like so many Americans on a daily basis. I did what I've done in the past, which a few years ago, Fletcher Cox was complaining.

My own teammate was complaining about something with Delta, and I had the idea to change my profile picture to Delta's profile picture and change my banner to like a fucking airplane flying through the clouds. It could have been Alaska Airlines. Nobody would have noticed. It's an airplane flying through the clouds. All the pictures look the same.

There should be a stock picture that these airlines, lines use and their digital media teams can just mock up that it's their plane. Like it's the same plane. So it's easy to create like an alias due to my verified check. And here I am just incriminating myself and I still might get banned. But it's easy to create an alias wherein I appear to be Delta or United. So I do that and I change my name to Delta. Obviously my handle stays the same.

and I quote tweet him and I say, Hey Fletcher, shut up, sit tight and grab some pretzels. And, you know, a bunch of people fell for it, hook, line, and sinker, including Fletch for a little bit and I think his blood boiled. And when Mark Ingram did it the other day, I saw a layup. And literally, you remember, we're getting ready to interview Kenny Maine. Right before. And I'm scrambling the last 30 seconds.

Kenny's on. Kenny's like on. I'm like, hold on Kenny. I got to change my AVI and my banner. what's the word catfish somebody big airline catfish somebody and i told mark ingram uh he's rich buy some clothes yourself i don't want to boost you up too much but not only is the idea great and execution great i don't know if it completely works without the right caption message whatever we call it and you're at least at least based on those two two for two well thank you and

it's all about picking your spots if i did this every time a consumer had a I mean, I'd be up to my ears in it. I'd have a log of drafts tormenting my teammates and classmates from the NFL. I'm just going to pick my spots. You complain about an airline as a pro football player. You might get catfished. The best part to me is though that Big Cat amplified it by telling United that he would skull fuck this imposter, which is graphic. And then when United tweeted at me, I saw them in my verified mentions, well, first I saw them follow me and I'm like, okay, God, they're doing the thing where they follow me and then they're like, please contact us and then they banned me, which if I get banned

from Twitter, I kind of looked at it as good news, bad news. But they responded to me with a Spider-Man meme, I think. And they played it as cool as possible. And they said, hey, Big Cat sent us. And I was like, so y'all read the tweet about skull fucking and then contacted me. And now we're friends. When I went through maybe one in ten folks getting mad and saying hey united this is not an appropriate way to act most people got the joke yeah mark got the joke right away yeah we're bearing the lead he got his bag back yeah he got his bag back and I was really impressed it was just a regular old Nike bag you know I thought he was going to have some like skill guy luggage he had like working man luggage here's the thing about mark ingrom I love his waist too well he's not the tallest guy and I'm not

clown and that's a big bag I had that bag we all had the same Nike elite money when got in the league and those Nike bags are like I don't know name your your making model that lasts forever you know a Toyota he's got the Nike bag I know that exact Nike bag and that would have meant a lot to lose that bag that bag's probably been through a lot and mark should be proud of the fact that he's not like some skill guy that had to spend five grand on luggage um he was really upset about that Nike back. And then he had this big smile on his face and said, uh, pose is united now, Chris. Mm-hmm. On the tweet. So, uh, he got his bag back. Shout out to Mark. One of these days, we'll have him on. That's a good idea. Yeah, it's a really good idea. A little football housekeeping

before we talk a little basketball and then you're going to have to run out the door. Um, but Ryan Kerrigan signed with the Eagles today. So I opened my Twitter and I'm trending. Did you No that long career arc. I did not know that. Isn't the trending tailored to you? No, it's not. It's not because I think it is tailored to you. So like maybe Philly people were hitting me up telling me I was trending. But I was legitimately trending in in some market in some form or fashion. And I said to myself, when you see yourself trending at first, you think, did I get canceled? Did something happen to me that I don't know about? Like the internet knows so fast you could be you could be dead and find out on the internet. Like holy shit. I was like, am I a ghost holding my own phone? Or is there a- People complimenting me? Nope, just a white pass rusher got signed.

30-something white guy going to Philly. Oh my God, dude. It's so funny. And I have so much respect for Ryan Kerrigan. So like if I at any turn, like, laugh at the comparison, it's just because it's so easy. It's so easy. But I do see what people,

people are saying both born in the 1980s, both white, both pass rushers, both have a lot of sacks, he has more. So like, it's a great comparison for me, but at the same time, we don't really even play the same position necessarily, we will in Philly, if the scheme doesn't change too much, but he's a stand-up outside linebacker,

he's been an outside backer his whole career, he's good against the run, but they're different positions like where I don't, maybe have the numbers rushing, but I've also played in a four eye and a three and I've played in a six technique. So I'm just saying that the white guy comparison is always entertaining.

He's also worn 91 in his career. And no doubt about it, like we both really respect each other's game. So that's like when he got in the league, he was like the young white kid in 91 who got compared to me. And then, you know, I was the Carrigan comp and pretty much everybody until the boasts came along.

And that comp is probably one that rookie he's like coming out a little bit more. But Ryan always liked me and certainly when we chopped it up, it was funny because early on he was asking me for advice and I was like, you're not gonna need my advice very soon, buddy, you're pretty damn good player. And I think he's gonna help the Eagles. They've got a lot of good players on that D-line now,

not unlike the year that we won the Super Bowl, but I'm not trying to compare the two years. I think this team has a lot to work through. So I think what he's gonna provide is obviously production this year. I mean, he had five and a half sacks last year. I don't think people understand that when your reps are reduced and you have five sacks or more in the year,

like you're doing pretty damn good. When all those good players came to Washington, the young players in Montez Sweat and Chase Young, who were studs. And at first I felt like he kind of got dicked over, just being like the old white guy that is just going to find the bench as soon as young talent comes in.

I understood why they were excited about the young talent. Now, had those players not been great, they still probably would have gotten his rank. reps, but Ryan Kerrigan can still rush. I saw him rush in spots last year and the bull rush is still there. One thing he's very good at is taking a guy up the field and sticking the long arm in on the inside pad. And by that, I mean, you get the momentum going and then it's all about timing. Like a great bull rush is all about timing and making yourself longer than you actually are.

We've talked about getting sideways on this show and by that, I mean, if you turn your your shoulders to the sideline, as you're running straight up the field and stick that inside arm in there, you're effectively six foot eight as far as a tackle being able to get his hands on your pads. Ryan Kerrigan is very good at that. He's also still pretty quick, still pretty sudden for his age.

So he's going to be able to work really well. I think with Fletcher over there, if he wants to rush over there, he's going to work natural games with Fletcher where Fletcher shoots up the field because he's explosive and Ryan's smart, so he'll get up to the top of a rush and then put the brakes on

and come back underneath Fletch. When you got a great rusher like that inside, you take advantage of things like that if you're smart enough to know how to do it. And Ryan's smart enough to do it. I'm not saying that he's going to play there or even be on the third down group. That's a struggle because you got BG,

you've got Josh Sweat, you got Fletch, and you got a number of other pieces that are going to work in there too. I could see BG rushing inside. I could see BG rushing left end. I could see him rushing right end. That's why he's so good. He's so versatile.

and when I was there, they moved him inside to rush with me at times and then outside to the right side so I could be where I was best and that was the left end and that's what they're probably if they're thinking about carving a big role for him they're going to do.

Well, I'm thinking a lot about Jam Weeks, Jam Strongs, pinch, pinch weeks, a lot of tangos. I love that. Those sorts of things. One thing... Are those internet D-line terms? Actually, I'm pretty proud of how quickly I got to it. I put in defensive end

stunts and then I got hit with jam. So a lot of these are that's good. A lot of those are like run game stunts. Okay. Okay. So a lot of those are like, you know, we would call things like pirates and that sort of thing where two guys slant in at the same time. And there's a difference between like your pinch.

You know, some teams will call something a pinch and something a loop or whatever. Like it depends upon if there's a three technique, you know, like. So what we're talking about is like pass rush naturals. So like a natural being like those are run game stunts that if an end and a three technique pinch, there's no going back there. There's probably somebody like the shade on the other side then has to read pass and then loop around to get contained to that side. So it's a run stunt in the beginning where the end and the three technique are we know the snap of the football and we need to cheat down a little bit. We're going to try to cross the tackle and the guards faces simultaneously.

A lot of times we call that a pirate. Now if it goes past then the shade vacates his run responsibility in the opposite inside gap. Wheel, wheel, wheel to wheel, will, will. And that makes you right by rushing around the two guys that are pinching and getting left side contained, which is more important now in today's game because everybody can run at quarterback. So like now, like back in the day, run stunts, I think probably in the 80s and 90s, they figured it out if it was past. Now you actually have to build in insurance. What I'm talking about is third down. We used to line up and me and Fletch, sometimes we just

just look at each other and I'd know if Fletch looked at me, he was gonna go. You know, like, or you'd have a code word as go, go, go, and- That's the code word for go, is go-go-go-go-go? Well, you don't say it like right on the snap, I mean, but like you'd walk up and kind of, as we're breaking the huddle, it's a go. You know, like it's just under your breath,

but they're like breaking the huddle too. So you don't wanna like talk that overtly, but it's either a look or code word and then Fletch gets off the ball. And Kerrigan, what I'm saying is, if you can imagine this, when the tackle and the end get to the same spot in the pocket.

Well, what's behind you? Wide open space. Somebody's gotta fill that space. It's just like I talked about in run gap converting to pass. Third down, you need to be able to fill that space, not only because it protects you against a quarterback just taken off up the middle,

which against man coverage is the worst, it also gives you a chance in a lot of layups. Like for a DN, that's a layup. You're not really, you're being a smart player and if you engage somebody can get off them, That's good, but it's not like winning a sexy rush. The tackle kind of help make that happen. He'll do a lot of that.

And he'll be really good at the bull rush. And then, you know, on the, you know, we're totally in the classroom right now. But on the bull rush, when he takes the tackles inside shoulder like he's done for years, then Fletch is going to realize that, you know, hey, I need a loop around him. So that's kind of the natural game stuff. There's called stuff like a ghost stunt or out of the huddle, like, hey, going to run a mixer, a text on one side and easy on the other. So anyways. Well, then there's a three-man stunt where the weak side D-N and the D-Tackle crash inside and the strong side D-Tackle loops around to the

weak side behind both of them, you know, which is basically what you were saying. Basically. Yeah. But the point is all rushing is about like marrying up power and speed guys and knowing like who's got what side and like how we fit into different gaps. So, you know, a D-line group is really good when there's a lot of veterans in the room. And now you've got Ryan Kitt. You've got Brandon Graham, you've got Fletcher Cox, a number of other guys. Like, that's a lot of experience. And those are the guys that are going to be communicating. So the more we know, the more we can communicate nonverbally.

And the more we can just understand where we need to be. Look at the arms in this big fella. He's always had these just pipes, man. I just don't get it. I just don't get it. Damn. I mean, he's huge, bro. It's a huge cat.

You know, like if he got in that uniform wore 56, I'd be just totally emasculated. I'm glad it seems Isaac Sam Molo changed his number to 56. Also, the mentorship thing, I hate to do this because he's still got a lot of gas left in the tank and certainly could prove himself to be more than, you know, what the Washington football team thought he'd be the next two years going forward. I do think when you're an edge rusher

and you're trying to learn, like Brandon Graham is a tremendous football player, he's also hard to, it's hard to duplicate what he does. his body type is very specific. He's very crafty, but it's unorthodox. And, you know, like having more guys that do different moves in there for young players to learn from and know different things because Ryan's body type's totally different.

That's also a collateral, like, positive, which I don't know if collateral can be positive, but a positive collateral, you know, where Josh Sweat and those guys can now pick his brain on the long arm complex. Because if, like, Josh Sweat gets a really good long arm, which would pair well with his speed, he'd be scary.

And that's a guy who can teach him. So not just his production on the field, also what he does in the D-Line room. Well, yeah, and stunt, twist, jam. Exactly. Rip. Exactly. Speaking of Mark Ingram,

he went number two today. Did he? Well, he changed his... That makes a few of us, huh? It's good to be regular. Yeah. Yeah, it is. He went number two.

Which means he changes number to number two. From 21, the best number there is, bro. We're just, I think we're doing this wrong. Yeah, we're seeing a lot of guys go to two. Your boy Sterling Shepard, who we... Two or three. Now... I don't, I didn't dig that one.

And no, I'm okay with it, but I can see why you're not. He was 87. Eighty-seven for me is sort of, it's either... It fit him good. It fit him good. You thought? I thought he looked good. I thought he looked, I thought it was good.

It was swaggy. Something that stand out to me, D. Jack's going to one. Yeah. He's 11 in my head pictures. Now maybe not much of a jump from 11 to one. No different number, but Jackson there's seven letters there. It's too long a name to be above a one. Oh, that's interesting. For me. That's interesting. Out of balance looks like a T. I wish my last name was blessed. I would change my number to one so fast. Blessed one. So fast. Patrick Peterson back to seven I kind of dig. He's a bike now. You like that? You had it at I just don't love the seven number.

And I understand why he did, though. I understand why he did. But if you change your number from 21, and we had a couple guys change the number from 21, you're literally vacating the best number on the field. Oh, yes. For a skin guy. It's a great number.

No doubt. It's a classic number. Tiki Barber. And I guess if you're like a prime fan, too. Yeah, I don't think most people's first name is going to be Tiki Barber. That's just a childhood deal for me. Yeah. Hey, can I ask you about basketball before you go?

Please. Yeah. What do you think about this playing game thing? I haven't paid attention because my team's like a four. The Knicks or it was been locked up. It's just foregone conclusion. Yeah. I'm a traditionalist with regard to my own childhood.

Right. So like I like the NFL at 16 games, like the ACC at nine teams, that sort of stuff. And yet the chaos that this provided. You like Kenny Maine on Sports Center. I like Kenny Maine on Sports Center. I just watched him do SportsCenter. Last night, up late. We're coming up on the last one, eh?

524. Okay. He hasn't missed a beat. Yeah. He's just the same. I really still enjoy him doing highlights. I, in the last, however many days it's been, I've said on several occasions,

there's a lot of activity taking place currently, which is what his daughter said, rolling through a four-way stop. That's the funniest thing. She got 20 bucks for coming up with that tag. The funniest thing I, I, uh, talk about cheap labor. Kenny, come on, man. So make it right. I didn't think I'd like this. I kind of like this. I mean, one thing they wanted to nip in the bud was tanking and I think that was a success. You had teams that were just outside the top 10 still

playing to get into the top 10. So that helps. And now we're going to have an intriguing couple days like I'm going to want to watch a couple of these elimination games whereas I've the game one of the one eight match up which eventually will happen I'll catch it when it gets deeper into the series I'm with you I think for a casual fan it does infuse a little bit of excitement like you and I we don't watch the regular season that much right I'm a box score watcher that's about it maybe the nicks are good now I'll watch more but um this does like infuse a little bit of excitement it also on the surface deters tanking. It also incentivizes guys to not take so many nights off,

which I don't care about. I know a lot of people freak out about that. I'm not the type of person that's skipping the regular season because of that. I just don't care. It's too many games for me to care. You know, baseball, I love the sport, you know, like loyally and 100%. So I will watch a lot of baseball games, but I can't get into basketball for 82 games.

But I do think that it's a way that the NBA is certainly pro player. They don't want to tell guys not to take nights off. They don't want to tell teams not to tank. They don't want to seem like a meddling like establishment. This is like a very friendly way to kind of nudge people to play

because you could be the nine seed and slide into the playoffs. Now I see Ryan Rissillo's point which is not popular. I was talking to him your boy Ryan Rissolo. I see his point which is not popular as he told me and if I butcher this, I'm sorry Ryan.

and misrepresent your very, very thought-out take. He makes the point that, like, hey, you know, there's going to be years where there's a 53-win team that doesn't get in, and there's, like, some shit team with 35 wins. That's the nine seed and slides in. That's not going to be every year, and he acknowledged that. But it is, like, that one year, it's kind of silly. I would think it would be funny if the Lakers don't end up in,

and they found themselves in the playoff in the playing game. I would think it would be hilarious if the Spurs got in over the Lakers. I can't name you one Spurs storyline, but just the chaos artist in me, like I want to see it. But it would be fucked up. And all these like, you know, victory laps that people are doing

on behalf of Adam Silver, you get, you get Steph and, and LeBron in a playing game. Well, it's not an elimination game. And to Ryan's point, Golden State in Sacramento, I think it was, and the Charlotte game

would have been straight elimination games without the playing game. So my thing is, Silver might actually one of these years look up and say, fuck, we got LeBron sitting on the sideline and the Spurs who won 38 games sliding in the playoffs, and that could suck. Yeah, I'm with you.

I think part of the drama created in the regular season with guys like Mark Cuban and LeBron James saying, oh, this is a great idea until we're in that 7 through 10 and now it's a crappy idea. That was beautiful. I love that. And I hear what you're saying. Okay, so win these games.

I mean, we're going to, the casual fan is going to be tuning in Tuesday and Wednesday and Thursday evenings. But that's the point is that we are the casual fan. And when I talk to a Ryan Rusillo who watches nothing but NBA and loves every minute of it, for him it's annoying because he's like, I've watched all these teams play. I know who the good ones are. And like, yeah, I'd hate to see a situation where at one point a really good team gets punished. And you could say, devil's advocate just win two basketball games. but when you play out a longer season,

anything can happen in one or two games. And that's just the nature of it. So I get that, but we're regular fans, so I don't mind it. I like it. There was jockeying yesterday, teams trying to lose,

to get to other teams. It was beautiful. And just in case anybody isn't clear about this little ladder, which is pretty cool, seven's going to play the eight, winners the seven. The loser that game

then plays the winner of the 9-10 game, and the winner of that ball game is the eight seed. So I think it's going to be cool. If it doesn't work, nothing work, we'll change it. No, you're right. There doesn't seem to be like an expiration or an expectation on this thing. But imagine Boston and L.A.

not making the playoffs this year. Aren't they both in the play? They are. They're both currently the seven. So, I mean, like, it's unlikely, but imagine that happens. Then Adam Silver's like, fuck yesterday. Everybody was like celebrating me. And now like, the stupid Lakers, you know, like, people would freak out.

But now the Lakers, are they, do they feel good enough where they can, they can hunt either Phoenix or Utah. Maybe we lose to Golden State and then count on beating Memphis or San Antonio because we want Utah. Well, there's the thing. It's like there's a whole like teams can reverse kind of engineer who they want to play. Intrigue, bro. Intrig. No, I'm, listen, I'm just playing devil's advocate because I found Ryan's argument interesting, which I always do find most of his arguments interesting at the very least because they're well thought out and he watches the NBA a lot. And yeah, there's gonna be years where it doesn't work,

but he also sees the other side of it, which is that this is for most casual guys, a reason to tune in. Hey, before you roll, before my guest today rolls, we should really talk about the best uniforms in the NHL right now remaining. And I didn't even warn you about this. There's no time to get ready.

By remaining. Let's pull up the playoff tree. I'm gonna go to NHL.com thinking that that's probably the website for the league. And it is. You know, obviously the blues. I got Avs, so we're going to need to have a tiebreaker. Unis?

Those Avs have a nice uni. I don't think they're bad, and part of the homer in me, but I just love the note. I would just wish they were always in the babier blues. The babyer blues is exactly right, but they're not always. So remember this caveat, as you chose them, I get to kind of say, I wish they were always doing, you know. Okay. So I got the blues. You get the abs.

Read, what say you? I like the ab. Of course you does. Go Colorado. Fucking hippie. Bang. Okay. Broncos fan.

Golden Knights are wild. I'm going wild. Man, the Wild have one of the worst possible situations in sports. Are you sure about that? Yeah, unless they wear those North Stars callbacks. They're the green and yellows. Even without those, they wipe the floor with that fucking hideous. I disagree.

That's a wonderful logo in the jerseys with bright red and the green trim. Again, just anything, look at the trees. They look like Colorado trees. They look like duby trees. And you can see like one of them lakes. They got so many lakes. And then there's the moon. You're seeing all that stuff, right?

No, it's cool, but I just think there's a lot going on. And it definitely doesn't look like a logo that was made before like, I don't know, 2012. Well, that's for certain. Look at Vegas. That's like Microsoft paint. No, I know. That's what I'm saying. So I'm long answer, love the wilds capabilities of going yellow and green.

and the Vegas Knights are great setup. A hockey team I respect, but cheeks. So let's just put somebody in the final four. I'm going to abs over Wild. You're going to abs lighter blues? Are you going abs on the strength of that or abs regular abs? Sure. I even like if they have a Navy deal, they put that.

So you just take the whole thing into account. Yeah. Okay, well, I'm going to go Minnesota Wild then. Okay. Because, you know, they're in this tournament for me. They're wearing the cool ones. That's fair. Fair as fuck.

We need a tiebreaker read. Yeah, I'm all over the wild Okay, wild That's wild Into the final four Let's go Let's go bottom left Ooh,

Leafs habs What a classic Yeah, Leaves, Yeah, leaves Leaves, Leaves for sure Edmonton Oilers

Winnipeg Jets Come on, the Oilers, the Oilers have one of the best logos in sports, period In sports, period. Look at that thing.

This is going to be contentious. That logo is dropping acid. Look at that thing. It's the letters are bleeding down, and there's a drop. Leafs or Oilers. I go Leafs. I'm going, ooh.

If it was just about the logo, I go oil. Acid or trees. Those look a lot a lot like a marijuana leaf, eh? Great unions. Got a hot take here, though. Per capita,

oilers, best sports team uniforms, period. You get the Houston Oilers, get the Edmonton Oilers. Just edging out the Cleveland and Virginia. you cavaliers. Exactly. Just barely.

Not. Exactly not. Because the Cleveland Cavaliers, unless they're going back to the, Jordan hit that shot over. Craig Elo. Elo. Let's go on back to the Elos.

I'm not interested. You're right about that. I'm just looking at these Edmonton uniforms real quick. Yeah, they're tight, bro. They're tight. They're super tight, dude. I'm going to Ebbinton Oilers in an upset.

Okay, I'm going Leafs. Reed, we need you. Leafs. Let's go Leafs. leaves into the final four. All right, all right, look at how cheeks

the bottom right is. When we get to the bottom right, look how cheeks it is. Okay, penguins, islanders, that's easy penguins for me. Is it because you might want to look at the penguins' uniforms in 2021. New York Islanders.

Cheeks. I just, they are cheeks. They are cheeks. The oilers are their big brother. Caps, Bruins. You know what? I might have to go caps. I kind of want to throw the Bruins of bone

because of the Stanley Cup a couple years ago and what the blues did to them. Ooh, but the caps are able to wear this this W thing, which is tight. Listen, they got that and they need to go back to that eagle. The new thing they got going on with the stick. On these older ones, which is not the one you're talking about. I like that.

Yeah. I'll go caps close. Yeah, caps. They need to go back to the Eagles. If they can go back to that bald eagle with five stars flying across the dudes torso swooping down the atom oats

and that's it in the red yeah caps caps caps caps are coming out of this division for penguins are caps you're going caps man if the caps would go back to the best penguins you got maybe it's just and I'll get killed for this but yellow and black I mean good Lord that's beautiful but

I'm going caps I just I really don't like that caps font that they use on their primary I'll go penguins that means we need a cowboy read penguins caps I like the penguin's logo that's a nice little penguin but i'm going caps it's the problem with that that font problem with the penguin is penguin's holding a stick yeah well the tea and the freaking thing is a is a stick well no what i'm saying is penguins don't have hands okay all right caps are and the logo's too big

caps are through caps can also do the washington wizards thing carolina hurricanes national predators neither for me oh my god just burn this whole bracket down in the bottom right of thing it's it's panthers hurricanes not that'd be the ning or lightning panthers saber tooth tigers golly day you are not kidding the sabers or predators they're the predators Nashville predators and the uh panthers and the lightning drugs kicking in over there a little bit no it's just it's a lot of hockey teams dude and i don't watch them all i'm going to put the lightning all the way through just because there's the least amount going on i don't even want to touch here's what i want to prove to you, dude. I want to prove to you. I know exactly

who Nashville Predators are. They throw catfish out there. Taylor Luwan holds a catfish, okay? Carrie Underwood's husband played for them. P.K. Suban played for them. P.K. Suban, who seems cool as fuck. They also win a lot. They've been like in the finals, right?

Or do they win the whole thing? One year. So I'm not disrespecting the Sabres. The Predators. Predators. Here's the problem. Here's the problem. Okay, we've got a problem. We have a problem here, dude.

We have a problem. Nashville, we've got a problem. Nashville, we've got a problem. The NHL, we have a problem. The Buffalo Sabres, which have one of the tightest uniforms and logos in all of sports. Up there with the Edmonton Oilers, eh? They're the Sabres, dude.

So with predators, you could have picked any predatory animal. There are so many in the history of the world. This fucking rock has been floating around. for eons, and you pick the saber-toothed tigers to represent the sabers. The fucking predators. I might need that on our quote wall of fame. Nashville's sabers, no disrespect. No, but I mean, like, I've watched them play countless times,

and I still, every time I see that fucking saber-toothed tiger, I mean, look at the saber-teeth on him. Yeah. It's the first thing. I know that the sabers are different in Buffalo because they're like swords. But I don't care, dude. Most people know sabers. as Sabretooth Tigers.

All right, well, I don't even. It's a mind fuck. I got Ning. All due respect to Pat Maroon, I think it's simple, it's awesome, but it's not spectacular. I'm going to take the lightning and I'm going to take the,

fuck it, give me clip art, Carolina hurricanes just to see them get drug in the finals. Okay, so you're taking the name. You're taking the Ning. Well, look at the weather system here. Bro, I hear you loud and clear.

Lightning, hurricanes. That's terrible. A lot of hurricanes have lightning in them. Imagine that for a second. Talk about selling homes in a hurricane zone. Insurance. That's all you got for me? I highly recommend the insurance.

Dude, all these uniforms stink. You were right. All of these stink. They stink, but I'm going to put the vindictively put the clip art Carolina hurricanes through. That might be a logo that looks way cooler on a uniform than on this desktop. I'll go with canes too,

just because they can wear those harper whale's uh throwbacks when they like and there's a hidden h in that logo listen man if they can do the whalers and they can do the actually they don't look that they don't look that bad and there's one that just says canes the canes is fine and that black with the hurricane flags is okay dog they might ride the they might ride the canes to the big dance all right fine they're through they're through okay leaps wild gosh i'm giving it to the leafs man of course of course, Leaves. Then we got Caps, Cains. Are the Cains gonna... Am I a Caneac?

Cinderella story? I can't believe I'm actually like hesitant to do this. Like I, who cares? I mean, nobody's listening. I'm voting for the Caps. For the record. I'm voting for the Cains just to force a tie break so that Cowboy Rhee can get angry people in his mentions. Cowboy Ree. Cains, go Cains. Come on.

Caniacs. Cains are through to the final of the Stanley Cup playoff uniform bracket. We got a, we got a fine southern hockey team. We got in a traditionalist up in Quebec or wherever the fuck. Ontario. Ontario. Sorry, Quebec's the city.

Province. Okay. Sorry to my Canadian friends. I'm, you know, like nobody's listening to this pod. Toronto Maple Leafs Unis versus Carolina Hurricanes. We'll call this pod and nobody's listening pod. Oh, I'm about to show you this and you're gonna, you're gonna, your mind's gonna explode. Look at that bad boy.

Ooh, Maple Leafs all white. Oh. Cocaine White. I see white. I'm voting for the Toronto Maple Leafs. We need a sounder where you go, cocainea. Cochayana.

I'm addicted to those uniforms. I'm getting high on drugs on those uniforms. Anybody got a mirror? I want to look at this uniform. I'm going to put this uniform in my nose through a dollar bill. They say this uniform's bad for you because it's addictive and terrible, but if you get the pure stuff, it's not bad for you.

Are these uniforms of highly addictive stimulant that can be snorted, injected, or smoked because they're sick. Stevie Nix loves these uniforms. This is a prep school in the Northeast for rich white kids, or are these uniforms sick? There's a real sentencing disparity when it comes to possession of this uniform.

These uniforms are sick. the people with misophonia just fucking passed out they just passed out here here's some cocaine wake up we got stone mailbag making see you later does that mean the least one

the least one okay did the least one yeah all right good this is kind of getting some traction on Twitter that airlines may start weighing people at the gate weighing people

yes passengers could be weighed before they get on jets because Americans are getting fatter and the FAA is concerned aircrafts may be overloaded. So, oh, so basically these airplanes built in the 80s. Right. Well, here's what you got to do.

Now, you build an airplane now. You just have to build it, project it out for the next 20 years. Right. Airlines use a standard average weight estimate for passengers, but the rising obesity rates in the United States are dictating a review of those estimates. We're going to be paying so much money

for baggage and, like, a second bag and a third bag and all that bullshit because airlines are going to have to build brand new planes brand new planes or they're just all the cargo planes you see with the big bellies you know like underneath that there's just it's the eriest thing in the world to me like a dude's driving this giant plane and he's like alone on it like which is one other person yeah i mean that's just one of the sketchiest if you think about like uh fear of flying and like at night you see like uh you feel a bump suddenly like in you're over water, flying international or something.

I look around and I feel comfort because I'm not alone. But if you're flying one of those fuckers, it's just you and another dude or another female flying a big ass plane, those planes are now going to become your standard plane. Right, like in Castaway, when he's riding the back, he wakes up. And then it crashes.

And the guy's like, oh no, it's all good, all good, just buckle in. And he's the only guy up there. It was not all good. This feels fucked up, man. I don't want to see, I don't want to see, like, big people squirming at gates. Yeah. Like, like, airports are, figure it out airlines or, like, lean on the food industry.

Either build new planes or fucking use some of that power you got. Maybe my friends at United could talk to big GMO. Right. Like, this is like big weight loss is behind this. Exactly. Exactly. Exactly. And, hey, the only way we'll get to do it is tell people they can't ride on the plane

because they're too bad. you know airlines are going to tell people to walk to their destinations to burn calories these are just so insensitive yeah like sorry todd you've seen you weigh three bills can you walk to tempi like i feel really badly about the the way airlines are looking here fuck dude this is this is reality this is where we're going man people are only going to get bigger i just ate some chick filet Okay, I just left here, went to Chick-fil-A, ate Chick-fil-A. I'm like everybody else. I'm going to be at the gate, sweating my ass off.

So I feel badly about that. Sticking to the air travel stuff, UFOs are in the news again, and multiple people asked me to address the UFO situation. Okay. Reid, do you believe in UFOs? Yeah, for sure. I read that document, the White House, released, you know, back in, I don't know, was that the fall,

when they tried to distract people from everything going on? Well, yeah, they were like, hey, here's some UFO stuff. Right. I know the building's on fire, but like, here's some UFO stuff. I believe in aliens, I do. I also don't think they really have anything that they need to do with us. If they've come this far, they have incredible capabilities

and can likely just wipe us out if they wanted to, they already would have. I think we're being monitored. I think we've been being monitored for like, I think there's like a food chain and I don't think we're on top of it. We think we're on top of it. We're in our little bubble and there's probably people or beings or whatever that could easily wipe us out and they're probably safari here.

You know, like some of these, by the way, the reason it came up is because 60 minutes was talking about it last night and I wouldn't have done well with 60 minutes last night. 60 minutes is of course that noise at the beginning of 60 minutes, the clock is is like the theme song of the Sunday Scaries, the gremlins. So I was definitely not going to watch that last night. But they were talking about it because basically the government has come out now and said, yeah, these UAPs is what they're calling them.

They're trying to rebrand UFOs to kind of fucking throw us off. UAPs. UAP. You see one? That's a UAP. And they're totally. the names are changed, but the same thing. It's just, you know, unidentified

flying objects. I don't know what UAP actually stands for. UAP, unidentified aerial phenomena. UAP, they're acknowledging it now. It's real. You know, there were like multiple pilots, like legit pilots. I know they were pilots because they had the pilot haircuts,

clean shaven, they look just like fucking pilots, and they talk like pilots. All the pilots have the same voice. Like very, like type A voices and they're on there and they're basically cop into there being like these unidentified objects these uapes six to 700 g forces evading radar air and water and space they go through air water and space the guy said water no propulsion no wings defined gravity 13000 miles per hour I mean these dudes are just rattling this stuff off like talking about being a park ranger and seeing a fucking a dough like it's

It's something they see all the time. So yeah, it's kind of freaky if they're not aliens. To me, if they're aliens, I'm not worried about it. Because if they've got shit that can come this far and go that fast. And like these two pilots were talking about in 2004, there was like a bunch of white water that they were flying over off the coast of San Diego. It was like the size of their plane in F-16. They kind of surrounding and descending and they're looking to see what it is.

And there's this like this little white check mark that's, well, it's like a little, like a little X in the water, like a little white X or something. And it's creating all this bubbling and all of a sudden as they're descending, this thing's going up. And then it's like mirroring them and then disappears. And they're just sitting there like, this thing was mimicking them for five minutes. And then next thing you know, it shows up 60 miles away, like in a few seconds. Shit like that, dude, whoever has that kind of technology probably doesn't need anything with us.

They're probably just here to fuck around. so I'm not worried about it. But yes, I believe in aliens. And I believe in whatever they were talking about on 60 minutes. So yeah. At J.T. Daniels-Berner, if you had the first overall pick and had the chance to pick a kicker that had a 100% chance of making a kick from any range, do you take him or her?

Yeah, or her. Shout out Sarah Fuller. Absolutely, dude. First pick. Don't care. Matter of fact, like, You might be thinking, well, if you're a bad team, you need to get XYZ. You might be thinking, if you're a good team, that's when you have the luxury of drafting somebody like that.

And so it's, look out, Bucker. Look out, Bucker. If the chiefs are picking first and there's a kicker that can kick from anywhere, yeah, you're taking that guy, right? But you don't even need to be a good team to want to make that move. I had you look up what earlier? You had me look up points per drive. Green Bay led the league in 2020 with 3.22 points per drive. And if I'm reading this correctly, the kicker can make it from anywhere.

Why did this tweet even go viral? Right. It's such a layup for me. You pick the kicker, and every time it's fourth down, you take three points. Very safe plays and then kick the field goal. Last year, the teams in the NFL averaged 10.9 drives per game. It's 30 points. If you don't turn the ball over.

32.5.3.7 points. You just invest in your defense, score 32.7 points, game, Super Bowl. Well, then the whole discussion would be, hey, are we a shot taking team or are we a, because people are going to try to get, I think some teams would, you know, play money ball or something and be like we'd have this entire discussion about, well, should we be trying to score? You know what I mean?

Right, right. And at that point, well, but this is the only kicker, right? Presumably they're not making this motherfucker. Right. labs he's he's you know adam vintieri on um on horse steroids right right so yeah i'm taking bob baffer's home home boy here i am i'm taking the fucking kicker you absolutely take yeah and he's going to be a big leader in the fucking like if you had a kicker that could kick from anywhere he would be breaking down the huddle like drew breeze yeah this guy he'd be out there he'd be out there like uh like malcolm jenkins was in

Philly like you know breaking down the huddle the mic boom would be right over him he'd be like cussing people out he'd be playing video games in the building like ping pong just like the kickers do now but if we had a bad game he'd get up there at the front of the room be like motherfuckers this kicker would be doing like Russell Wilson offseason stuff you know he'd be calling shots that's right he'd be he'd be helping pick the coach this kicker would be and he'd play for three 30 years. Okay, this is like an inordinate amount of power this guy would have. I mean, because a coach, anything you said to me if I'm that kicker, I'd be like, yeah, you're probably going to be dead before I'm out of the league. Like, just simple math. If I'm a 30-year vet and

I'm just like this Tom Brady of kickers, if my coach is north of 55, there's a chance. He'll cycle through a couple coaches. Yeah, dude. There'll be generations of coaches that'll say they coach this kicker. Mitch McKinley, rank who has the best lives among professional athletes by sport? Golf. Golf is the easiest. Great pull. Never even, yeah.

Golf is the easiest. For sure. I mean. Their season could be perpetual and you're fine. Yeah, and you can pick events. Don't have to do this one. Don't have to do that one. How long can you play in the PGA and PGA?

Tour of champions as long as you can. As long as you can. Like there's no, you know, if you're still in the NFL, your body wears down at a certain time. You end up a podcaster. You sit around and fucking, you skittstone and just talk to your producer forever. Right. And in the PGA, you can do that or you can just. You probably won't be hitting golf balls into your 65.

And here's the thing about golf and being a professional golfer. White guy heaven on earth is retiring, moving to Florida and playing golf every day. Right. Like, it's even spreading elsewhere. Everybody's into it, okay? Golf is all the sudden just like,

or maybe I'm just older and now I'm realizing that everybody likes golf, but I'm looking at what everybody does knowing the elephant in the room when you move down somewhere like that is like, ah, I'm in the third or fourth quarter now. I want to do the thing that I've waited my whole life to do. I want to play golf in the sun.

well guess what these fuckers do it and get paid a ton of money to do it so the thing you do in the final stages of your existence on this rock they're doing and getting paid to do it right and what do you do like to practice you're outside you're just hitting golf balls you're staying in semi-decent shape but you're just you're training with the navy seals right you know i'm not going to be that kind of golf for now. I don't think many of them are. No, I think it's probably golf. All right, let's taste some beer. Reed, you want to hit the people with the rules of engagement here? Went to Wegmans. When we do taste tests, there are supplier, whether they know it or not.

They're the plug. They're the plug. So I have eight beers that we're going to taste and try. So I picked a couple up, you know, based on their name bottle. They've got a cool label. You gave me one that you were into. Yep. I think I can spot it. Yeah, I think you should be able to get this one. I think it stands out.

Let's get a moderate buzz on a Monday. Still reeling from the weekend. My body's going to, you know, just like soak this in so fast. It's going to be like, oh, yeah. Thank you. And I'll be going along with you. So we're going to... Cowboy and I are going to discuss as we go along.

Here's the thing. My body's going to feel like I'm doing it again. But in reality, at some point here, I got to be a dad again on Monday. It is Monday. All right, let's try it. Beer number one, snake dog IPA. Is this a cheap beer? No.

This is good. And I'm surprised that I like it. This is an IPA. with a leathery aftertaste. Yeah. Which I never knew I liked leather. So it's a, how could you?

I don't know, trying to eat leather at some point. This shit is not bad. So this is an IPA. I'll drink the whole thing. I'm going to drink eight beers if I go at this pace. I'm not a big IPA drinker, but this is a good beer.

I'm going to give this one a 7.5. I was going to say that's high. Yeah, I was going to put it in the sevens as well. Okay. That's a good beer for. for me. Good. This is Flying Dog Brewery, Snake Dog IPA. Snake Dog IPA. Snake Dog. Which I've never had. I've always admired their bottles because they're hilarious.

Yeah, yeah. The bottle is literally a snake dog combo. Yeah, they're just totally, they just totally, they like were really literal with that idea. Right. And usually that's how you pick beer at the aisle in Whole Foods sometimes. What kind of labels you see? So I think that's a whole other interesting thing. I'd love to have like somebody who heads up the like marketing division, like a medium-sized brewery where they have cool labels, like what goes into it, the studies, what people like, what they don't like. You got to be intentional.

When we open a brewery, green light brewery, we'll do it. Beer number two, Papp's Blue Ribbon. Now this one, I've drinking many of this ones. Many. Already? Yeah, already. All right, hold on. Let me check.

That's cheap beer? That's pretty cheap beer. I probably drank a lot of these too. Yeah. This is close in the alphabet. Yeah. I don't know what this beer is. It's right down the middle for me.

It tastes cheap. It tastes like it shared a bed with the malt liquor at the factory overnight. Yeah. I'll give it a... six. You know, American flag can has the colors, red, white, and blue. Oh, PBR. There you go. Yeah, PBR, I don't like PBR.

I mean, I used to like PBR, but I'm not a hipster, so... You put a lime in it? Let me tell you, you put a lime in it. Here's the deal about PBR. PBR is like, laugh at hipsters if you want. Like, that's the way I, you know, how I just kind of leave us, respectfully was like, I'm not a hipster.

You know, I didn't take like a pot shot because those fuckers can drink. I like the hardcore ones pbr is my go-to i don't consider myself a hipster hipsters are gentrifying pbr yeah i agree i do know some hipsters that are like incredible alcoholics i'm not saying lightly yeah hipsters are gentrifying pbr so i don't want to be unfair but i don't like the beer that much beer number three star hill raxan raspberry american sour beer number three looks uh like it could pass as my wife's winery circuit.

It certainly could. Like kind of that rosy color. Oh, surprising. Sour. Yeah. Sour, but it is not as bad as I expect.

It cools off after a second. At the end, it's an acquired taste. Yeah, I couldn't do much more of what's in this cup. Oh. Yeah. Oh, no,

Nisophonia. I was doing the dumb and dumber face when the guy was drinking piss. Yeah. Which I think I've already referenced in our last beer tasting. It's almost like this beer is so different. It's so daring. It's so bold that I'm not going to hold it against it,

that it tastes like a sour. Like a candy. A sour candy. Sour candy. That's like that was made in a forest. Right. Yeah. So I'm going to give this one a 5.4, but that's not, no disrespect.

I'll give it a six and a half. Okay. But I'm not drinking many of them. Like I'll have one. I'm giving it a 4.8. I just reconsidered. Okay. This one is the Star Hill, Roxanne, Raspberry.

No. I love Star Hill. I'm sorry, guys. But I just don't like raspberry beer. I don't like raspberry beer. You know, I just... So the Roxanne beer gets... And that's one of our terms. Exactly.

Man, it's all due respect. Beer number four. Rogue dead guy ale. This beer is thick. Yeah, this beer is thick. Yeah. Coffee flavor. So I'll give that probably a seven.

Seven? It's not dead guy. Dead guy is coming up. You think it's dead guy? Yeah. I haven't had this in a while. The eyeball test had me looking at number six. Yeah.

Thinking it was. But the thing about dead guy is it comes in a. really dark can. Right. And you almost always drink it out of the bottle. Now I grabbed the can not knowing what it was because it stood out and then on the back and said, here's a deal. You got to have a dead guy cold. Yeah. You do. But this is an ass kicker right here. Drink six of these and it's like five and a half percent, I think. You're going to be on the couch. It's a like it just, they hit good, man. It's a good buzz. I love that beer and I'm giving it a little love off of reputation and having

drank it before, but that's a good beer. That was the one that I told Cowboy to get. That's right. And the rest were wild cards, so I missed the guess there. Beer number five, yingling traditional lager. Oh, that was good to wash the dead guy down with. Right. I can't even taste this beer.

This is smooth. That guy messed my taste buds up. Six and three quarter. No, six and a half. Is that like a logger? I don't know. Yin Ling. Yingling. It's a good beer. It helped wash down the... It did. It came at the right time. Right time. Right place. Respect for Yen Ling. Solid beer. But it's not like, I don't drink it as much as others. Yeah. Beer number six.

Arrogent Bastard Ale. Almost at the finish line. Now this one I picked, I'd heard of it before, never had it. The name will make you want to try it. and after tasting it I don't know if I'll want to try it again oh I don't mind this really um you don't like hops right yeah I'll give it a 6.8

nice yeah so that's called arrogant bastard arrogant bastard you'll bring out the real bastard it's good I like that I've had it before beer number seven majestic mullet crispy colsh

now this one name jumped out label jumped out I think this might make your rotation on name and label alone okay hold on a second cleansing the palate

right my apologies if you heard that your Spotify account will be refunded I can't say that because misophonia people they'll really like fucking call Spotify and leave and leave

reviews this is a little gem to drop here my lovely wife when she wants to really get back at a corporation for a bad product or bad customer service. She really does leave fucking reviews. You believe that? Really? Yeah, I get the accountability factor of like leaving reviews for small businesses.

But when you're leaving them for like Harris Teeter or I don't know, pep boys, they're not checking their DMs. You know what I mean? And she actually has an alias. It's Joyce. I don't know why. Her name is Joyce on there. That's a wonderful leaving a review name. It's just what does it matter if somebody sees Meg leaving a review?

Meg L? It doesn't like, is it full names on Google reviews? I think they do the last initial. Last initial, right. It's like one of those opt-ins. I mean, come on, Meg. It's not that big of a deal. But Joyce is a funny-ass name.

Joy, yeah. How did we get here, Spotify refunds? You're not getting refunded. Sorry if you heard me cleanse my palate. I like this beer. It's a good beer. I don't recognize it. I have never heard of it before.

Okay. I'm going to give this. It's very light. It's refreshing. The others have been kind of like, you know, heavy hitter after heavy hitter. Reed's trying to put me in a coma over here. Just trying to drive that truck again.

You're like underwritten in the podcast? I need to check my will. Yeah, yeah. The other fuck is trying to get the podcast. Makin and I actually have it, whoever's in the studio, between the two of us at the time. That's good.

Get it. That's better than what I- Yeah, I'm gonna give it a seven. I'm gonna give it a seven. I like that beer. Majestic mullet, crispy colsh. Ooh, I like that. Yeah.

And a colch is a good little take on like a lighter beer. Right. I haven't had many coles, but this one, keep your eye on. Find it at your local mart. local mart i'm waiting for a real place that you can buy these colishes

majestic mullet too for the listeners i am trying to grow a little bit of a waterfall back there so that works for me oh that's tight yeah look at that guy he's got a big big waterfall he's like cross-country running or is he just standing there in a field yeah this guy is uh maybe just a mountain climber yeah he might be a Hanging in a field might be a good... He's just hanging out on the field, dude.

Yeah, I'll give that one a seven. It's a good beer. Yeah. I was surprised. I don't mean drink many Colch's. You don't meet many Coles either. I might want to meet more of those majestic Mully guys, though. Cool looking dudes.

Reed and a Colch walk into a bar. Beer number eight. Founders All Day IPA. Now again, I'm not an IPA drinker. I don't mean to give it away. I like this one. I recognize this one. This one's around here.

Any IPA gets an automatic like six and a half for me. I love the taste of them, you know, not to be a Mr. like Portland guy with a mustache and a jean jacket with patches all over it and a scrunchy hat in the late spring. shoulders hunched over Yep Basically all my favorite musicians Not to be one of my favorite musicians But any IPA gets a six and a half Automatically

I'll give this one a seven It's right there in the It's kind of in that ballpark For a very drinkable IPA So this one is the Founders All Day IPA And you can really drink it all day This one I feel like has river beer Written all over it

I feel like I've seen it down at the river a lot. Okay, let's talk about that. What is the perfect river beer to close this thing out? Because it is what month? May? Yeah, about to be river season.

That's what I hear. It's about to be river season. That's the way I look at my calendar. You know, there's a big blue highlighter section on my calendar to signify water. The next three months. Yeah, I can't wait to get on James River. So what is the river beer?

It's got to be packable. It's got to be packable. It's got to be, you know, you can drink a lot of them. Yep. And still be able to stand up when you get out of your float. Yep. If you, if you can't stand up, you just sit down on shotgun beach down there. They call it Shotgun Beach because everybody was shotguning beers there in college.

And did you shotgun some beers at Shotgun Beach? I think everybody in Charlottesville is. Well, anybody outside of Charlottesville, the way I would describe this beach is the place that everybody challenges people to shotgun. But by the time you get there, it is really hard to stand up. And so, yeah, I mean, I would say probably Rolling Rock is one of my favorite, like, piss water beers. Yeah. That, it's.

Piss water is what I would describe rolling rock as. Yeah, it's just like I can drink a million of them. I could drink like an entire case of Rolling Rock by the time you get to Shotgun Beach. An entire breadloaf of Rolling Rock. Yeah, exactly. So I would say the lighter the better But a nice Pilsner Check Pilsner

If you can get that on the river I know it's kind of highbrow I think mostly I take PBR down there PBR you and the guys with the mustache That's right Sweating your asses off I take the James all the way You go to the wristmen

To pick up all the hipsters That's right You hop out of the river at the brewery And cheers all my PBR hipsters I love that visual Yeah it's almost tubing season So for the Charlottesville listeners, maybe we'll do a live river pod. Talking about something that would be pretty fun.

You talk about something to be pretty hard to coordinate. Yeah. Hey, we can do it. I think it'd be a labor of love for read. Y'all take care. We'll be back with a much more normal pod Thursday and you'll get it Friday.