Green Light with Chris Long - Geoff Schwartz! On NFL & CFB Gambling. James Koh! On NFL WK 2 Fantasy Football, Kyle Shanahan Conspiracy Theory & Aaron Rodgers in Green Bay. Fantasy Football Loser Vehicle Decided.

Episode Date: September 17, 2021

(3:38) - TNF Review: WFT 30 vs NYG 29. (11:43) - Hello, Layup Line, TO Sends Candles, Taste Testing Water and Choosing Vehicle for Fantasy Football Loser. (33:29) - GBU: Body By Mac, Side Yard Trespassing, Minor League Hockey Jerseys and Washington Football Quarterback Article. (45:46) - Geoff Schwartz Picks Favorite NFL Week 2 Bets, Convinces Chris To Take CFB Bets, Reviews Urban Meyer to USC and Will Green Bay Be Embarrassed Again? (1:23:27) - Chris and Macon Determine Taylor vs Cowboy Reid's Jaguars vs Broncos Bet Implications. (1:35:18) - James Koh on Week 2 Fantasy Football Lineups, Aaron Rodgers and Green Bay, Sit or Start and Waiver Wire Pickups. Green Light Spotify Music: https://open.spotify.com/user/951jyryv2nu6l4iqz9p81him9?si=17c560d10ff04a9b Spotify Layup Line: https://open.spotify.com/playlist/1olmCMKGMEyWwOKaT1Aah3?si=675d445ddb824c42 Green Light with Chris Long: Subscribe and enjoy weekly content including podcasts, documentaries, live chats, celebrity interviews and more including hot news items, trending discussions from the NFL, MLB, NHL, NBA, NCAA are just a small part of what we will be sharing with you. http://bit.ly/chalknetwork Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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sign up today to receive a special offer, risk-free, $500 sports bet. download the win bet app now or visit w-y-n-n-n-bett.com. Download the app, bet big win-bigger. And let's get after it. Terms and conditions apply must be 21 or older and present in state where win-bet is available. Gambling problem, call 1-800-270-7-1-17. It's Thursday. You know what that means?

Thursday night time machine. I love this segment this year. Something about it. I can't stand it. think I've ever played from behind during this segment and it feels awful. Well, I got the Washington Razor Hogs. Same time here. You probably have them too, huh? Giants fan and all. Okay. Now, I thought long and hard about this. I almost panicked and went G-Men because I'm playing for behind and think I need to do something crazy. You need to emotionally hedge here, dude.

They do have a couple names out there. No, I am also going with Ramble Hogs. Okay. On three. One, two, three, 21, 16. Wow. Golly, dude. Okay, now let's do the math. You got them by seven. I got them by five.

Six would be a push. Yeah, six. Six is the magic number. You got seven and above. Wow. You're going with Heineke, making the football team great again, building a wall,

defeating the Giants, at home in Landover, Thursday night. I got the Washington football team D-Line running through the Giants' like diarrhea through a pipe at that stadium. What if Dimes to Shepard, to Goladay, to Slayton, to Ingram, probably not playing, to Sequin, just the Giants just put up 42

and route the rover hogs? If the Giants put up 40, I'll wear Nate Collins clothes for a week. Wow. Only Nate Collins clothes. Those are some try hard clothes. Well, they're also a lot larger than my clothes, which is going to be an issue of itself.

But the Giants aren't going to score 40 points. That's true. I propose that if we nail the score exactly at any point during this season, that's worth two. Yeah, a proposal accepted and I know why you're doing it. What? I need two. Hey, happy hunting tonight.

You too. Studio side porch is closed. I've moved indoors to break down Thursday night football. And I'll get you on your way very shortly here so you can enjoy this objectively funny podcast. I mean, we did some funny shit today. You'll love it. Holy Hollow Man. I really want to rename it. The Dexter Lawrence Memorial Hollow Man Award. My man is on the bus right now. Googling how to fake one's own death, like how to procure a fake passport, fuck off, like go to the Far East for a while, maybe Thailand, maybe a straw hat, some sunglasses, Hannibal Lecter, and Silence the Lambs style just disappear.

You know, and I felt bad for the Washington kicker for a hot second, but like it was a contagious hollow man situation, all the shame, embarrassment, the not wanting to leave your baby, not wanting to buy groceries for six weeks. That feeling, like spread via aerosol or spore, and it landed on Dexter Lawrence. And I've not bought groceries for much less. And I played 11 years in the NFL. Super Bowls, playoff games. That's always in the back of your head.

Like, I want to avoid being that guy today. But usually as a de lineman, once the adrenaline, starts, you don't think about it because you're not a pass catcher who could drop a pass in the end zone. You're not a running back who could fumble on the one. You're not, you know, a kicker, like Washington's kicker, who could shank a kick in a big situation. Like, that's the only way they get us. And I've talked about the D-Ford infamous off-sides that kept Kansas City out of the Super Bowl with a chance to play the Rams. That's third down. You're amped up. It's a huge mistake. But it's understandable. When you malfunction on field cold block on the last play of the game and lose your team of football game, a place like New York in that market, I don't know if Thailand's far enough.

So there's one guy who's pretty upset. I can tell you one guy who's happy. Roger Goodell, three prime time games so far this season, three barn burners. You get two big markets like New York and Washington, and you tried out two quarterbacks who aren't premiered talents or not. names and you still have people talking about the game into the wee hours on the internet you have people packing that objectively shitty stadium risking e coli watching taylor heineckee engineer a game winning drive in prime time you know crowded into that stadium like sardines the pipes could break it any second spewing diarrhea all over them they're packed in they're watching anyways That's football. That's the power of the NFL. And Roger Goodell reaps the benefits. But it ain't just Roger who had a big night. Makin tied it up in Thursday Night Time

Machine avoided being down 02. And he needed a divine intervention. The miss kick meant a win for your boy. And the only way Macon salvaged it was divine intervention, was Dexter Lawrence malfunctioning. So, you know, Macon's a fake Giants fan. He texted. to me talking about how excited he was to win Thursday night time machine. He'd much rather do that than see the Giants win a game. And maybe he's right. Even as a Giants fan, you're one game closer to letting that talented rusher up in Eugene, who's definitely going to do numbers for you on a series of six and ten football teams. Eli's not walking through that door. Strayhan's not walking through that door. Giants are going nowhere. They're wasting Saquan Barkley's career. I feel terrible for him. I'm

watching time expire and him just looking at the giants like, why, why? Why did you have to draft me? And why do we keep finding new ways to lose football games? And the storyline this week that we all jumped out of the gym for, the pump fake, was that Washington's D-Line was going to take this game over. And with a group this hyped, this talented, that came off a week where they did not affect Justin Herbert, anything less than hitting, harassing, sacking, putting grass stains all over Danny Dimes was going to be a disappointment. In fact, to dominate this game was a necessity, and they didn't dominate it. They played fine.

Montez Sweat had a bunch of pressures. Jonathan Allen had a couple sacks. Chase Young flashed, and he's even fun to watch play when he doesn't make those big plays. But somebody's got to emerge and be their clutch, dependable big play guy. And the D-line as a whole has to play dominant with regularity for them to win games down the stretch this year. They're in a division that's wide open. They're 2-0, which is good because their schedule's tough. Heineke's fun.

I think this guy's going to be around a while, whether he's going to be a perennial starter or not. He's fun. He's exciting. He's going to make this team competitive. But to be more than competitive, this D-line has to be dominant. And I've been on D-lines that the expectations were large. I've been on D-lines as good as this Washington D-line. And there are Mondays where you sit there and you say,

we affected the game in a lot of ways. Maybe we didn't get that turnover, a bunch of sacks. Is it a little unfair to be blamed? Well, heavy is the head that wears the crown. And the football world has kind of bestowed upon them title of best in the league. They put these guys in the Hall of Fame. And I like them a lot,

but they have to take games like this over for this team to be competitive down the stretch. And they made small mistakes that are exasperated when you aren't getting a multitude of splash plays in a game where you're supposed to. You know, the draw in the low red, you're manned up. You know, you're not balancing up the rush. Danny Waltz in from five yards out. That's a touchdown. You know, the penalty on Chase Young, that was the talk of the town.

Objectively, it was a penalty. I'm a D-Limon. I don't like it. I don't want to see guys get fine. but I've gotten FedEx's in my locker for less. I mean, you take a few steps, you drive them into the ground, you turn your shoulder, they're going to get you for that. The only complicating issue here is that Jonathan Allen's sack was much more violent,

but that's not a flag. I'll never get that. It's tough being a D-Lignment in the NFL. The guy for the Giants who feels the most off the hook is, of course, Darius Sladen. and that drop was talked about a lot this evening online the drop in the end zone that looked like a sure touchdown the guy's running 100 miles an hour the ball hit his hand

it skid it off the tip of his glove towards the end line and this thing was was on a rope he's expecting it with a little bit of a loft it's a piss missile he's running as fast as he can and I know everybody wants the player to hit square or whatever it is in PlayStation and lay out and make a circus catch but it's not that easy and I don't know what it is about dudes on the internet middle-aged dudes being so black and white in their football analysis if it hits your glove you got to catch it you do or you don't that sort of thing these things sound cute but that would have been a very acrobatic catch and darius slayton may be

replaying that one in bed tonight a hundred times but I'll tell you what he's glad he's glad he's not Dexter Lawrence, who may be on a red eye to Bangkok right about now. One to one, Thursday night time machine. Enjoy the pod. Three, two, one. Blast off. The pot is, I almost got a laugh out of you there. Yeah, this is the only unrehearsed part of the show.

That's not true, but it feels like the most unrehearsed part of the show, the first thing that's said. Well, yeah, there's nothing on the syllabus about. about this. Right. The outline. You just hit me with a blast off. Yeah, blast off, man. I'm a space shuttle guy. Fargo, North Dakota. Hello. In the 1880s, Fargo became the divorce capital of the Midwest because of lenient divorce laws. Wow. What happens? You're like, let's go to Fargo for the weekend. Leave the kids at home. We'll take the horse and buggy. Lienant, huh? Oh, it sounds like a fun weekend. Oh, you're just getting a divorce. Cohen Brothers film, Fargo. Yep, that too.

you like that phone oh good memory on you maybe number one for me all time a hot pot of join a spoon trying to make me 40,000 and move motel stars stood at rock stars and goons Scarface the rapper who is the man just got a new kidney from his son yeah he was in need of a transplant because he got COVID last year and it really messed him up and he's been uh he's been on the mend and he got a kidney transplant wholesome alert feel good good alert. I would do it for my dad. I mean, that's some, that's some love right there. That's love, dude. Love is love. Is love. And Scarface is back. So naturally layup line today is guess who's but Zach? Listen, also right as we're getting ready for this pod, I throw on dark side of the

moon, iconic album. Macon's never really listened to it front to back. I'm so excited right now. I'm so excited right now. Like you don't know how excited I am about this. You're excited for me to have an experience. Yes, dude. A quick question. Yeah. Do you think, so we're going to do this in our in our downtime. Yeah, which we always hang out outside of here always. Like do you think I get a game check for that or? No, probably not. So it's just like forced family fun. I got to go hang out with Chris. That's what I worry about. I was talking about like let's all go out the dinner Friday, the whole gang. And when I talk to like Taylor and Reed, I'm like, do they really? Do they really want to go out to dinner with me? Is it even worth the free dinner? I think it probably is.

Fortunately, for some of us, you guys are all idiots, and I still have a viral pandemic to lean back on. Yeah, no question. Can't be going to restaurants. It's going to be fun when you come up to Philly for my charity event in a couple weeks and be adored by all the Eagles fans. From afar on a day as someplexie glass. Just putting it all out there while you sit here in your bubble. Hey, listen, We got a luxury housekeeping deal going on high class housekeeping today. I can't wait for both of these items. Two things. Aquapana, nectar of the gods, man.

Like, you know, water is too expensive in general. But this is the most expensive, I feel like. If you get aquapana, you're basically, you're saying I'm doing all right. And I got some aquapata today. You're doing all right? I'm doing okay. I'm not doing like great, great, but I'm doing okay. the water is great. You've never had it.

I haven't. Crafted by nature, Aquopana flows through the beautiful sun-drenched hills of Tuscany. Each drop is naturally filtered and perfected by time on its 14-year journey to the spring. What is this shit? Obtaining a special mineral

balance for a smooth taste like no other. All righty, well, we're going to have a little taste test. Aquapana versus Alamarl County tap water. No question. I'm going to know which one's which. And you're going to know exactly which one's which okay we have if you live it if you live in the sun drenched hills of wherever the fuck Tuscany that's right their tap water is just aquapata right I

mean think of all the money you could save might move to Tuscany I think I'm gonna take both of these to the face like okay all right sipping cup one aquapana that's pretty good I spilled a little okay that was number one for me yeah number the first one was definitely first one I'm wondering cup to Admiral County Tappen water. Oh, wow. Okay. So one is Aquapana. Is that right? Yeah, one is Aquapana. Wow. So I drink two every day, like all day, every day. Yeah, dude. Like 120 ounces of it. You might be put an aquaponna clause in your next, uh, big time aftertaste on the old Almerald County, Virginia

tap water. Dude. But me, hey, it's safe. It's safe. I drink tap all the time. Aquapana, I don't get a lot unless I'm grubbing something with the option. I can't resist. Damn. Bring me my overpriced water in a car. This tap water now to me tastes like the color gray. Does that make any sense to you? Yeah, sure.

And Aquapana tastes like a cloud. That's right. A moist cloud, like a wet-ass cloud. Hey. Before carbon emissions. I wouldn't mess around with you. That aquapona tastes mighty good. Real good, dude.

You ever had Evian? Oh, you're a big ass. Evian. I like Evian, but this water is the highest of the high society. This is a problem because I was fine drinking that tap water from here on out. He just got turned out. Also, our friend, Terrell Owens. Terrell Owens sent us some candles.

We had him on like a month ago or so. And he was talking about his new candle line. I said, prove it. Okay, don't turn these around. Okay. Smell this one. Okay. A little stuffed up.

Ooh, I like that. Okay, now don't turn there. You know what I'm saying. This, this. Don't turn this one around. This one smells like falling asleep on vacation. Are you going to be able to say what you like best? Yeah, probably I like one, followed by two, then three.

Wow, I like three best. Yeah. Three is desire. Desire. Desire, you like, you like. You're horny. I like two. That was made for like horny people.

Okay. My number two is called desire. You're horny, dude. And my third, don't be horny in here. Guess what, guess what you like best? What do I like that? You're gonna,

you're gonna get off on this. Probably ambition. You love dedication. Dedication, bro. I'm dedicated. You're horny. I'm dedicated. No wonder this,

this is a, this is. You know what? I might be, I might be back on discipline. I'm on discipline. Yeah, okay.

T.O. He's horny as fuck, dude. Terrell, thank you. Thank you. I'm dedicated, bro. Hey, go to a

sultry aura to find T-O's candles. Sultry A-F, man. Good luck spelling Sultry because it's not actually a word. He probably spelled it S-O-U-L-T-R-Y. You got it. Yeah, it's a marketing thing. It is.

Can you see that I've spilled? You hear what Fax said the other day? Probably not. He said that. Kanye West, better promoter than Muhammad Ali. Oh, I did not hear that. No. Yeah.

Now you have. Hey, before we get to like the whole. punishment part of this show where we dole it out we receive it um aquapana i got an idea okay i'm i'm googling a hundred dollars for a case bear with me 25 ounces a case okay that's not can't be or 25 ounces a damn bottle but okay uh that comes out to a case of 15 it's like 380 ounces of water for 100 bucks now that's obscene it's obscene it's obscene but I got CTE for a living and I think that I should shamelessly be able to spend my money

on overpriced water. Does that sound like a lot for you on a yearly budget? Yeah, quick math. That works out to about $6,000 a year if you're drinking sufficient water. That's not going to do it for my budget. So here's my idea. Okay.

We get on our knees right now and just bag Aquapana for a year's worth supply of their nectar of the guy. gods and we will just talk about your water. We will talk about your water. Every show in some capacity, we will talk about Aquapana. Taquipana will be the name of the segment. That's a hell of an idea.

They're waiting 14 years for this water to make its way down to the spring. Well, you need to tell that water to hurry up because the way our listenership is going to go on by Aquipana, you're going to have to build a new mountain, a new sun-kissed mountain. I hear something. What? And I hope this doesn't water anything down for you. Okay. Distributed by Nestle Waters, Stamford, Connecticut.

You're trying to tell me that my Italian water is being bottled in Connecticut. Stamford, Connecticut. There's a lot of Italian people in Connecticut. Connecticut has a healthy Italian population. So we're bringing this water over on a boat. Or a plane. and then we're it takes 14 years to get down the mountain

it takes another 14 months to get over the Atlantic Ocean dude it's a process and respect the process trust the process bottles are just waiting for it in Stanford to bottle this water in Philly not Stanford trust the process

let's open up a bottling company right here hey we will bottle your water Aquipana send it over in a fucking big bag yeah only got about two dozen people working on this podcast.

I would rather you just buy us water for the year. We will talk about it all the time. Taco upon a hashtag. All right. Don't go using that hashtag for some other shit. Dude, I will come to your mountain and I will take a dump in the geyser. Okay.

Did that blow the deal? No, no, no. I think that's fair. How about punishments? Yeah. It's a negotiation. How about punishments, man? All right.

Thursday nighttime machine. I think we've landed on a Waffle House 2.0. Yeah, yeah, yeah. because that's what you want for the record. You were afraid to go like Long John Silver Outback Steakhouse, Texas Roadhouse, Ruby Tuesdays. Not afraid, not afraid.

Post up at the salad bar. Content-wise, it makes the most sense. We've already made a lot of relationships at the Waffle House. People like us there, I hope. Yeah, they really do like us. They're not going to like us next year because you're not going to be as fun as me. It'll be entertaining if you're going back for round two,

trying to beat 14 waffles. And it will be really, entertaining if I'm going there for the first time. This is why I'm fine agreeing with it, because you will be in there 23 hours. Well, and don't, when, if and when I lose, don't say, hey, you wanted

this. I don't want it. I think it's the best content. All right? Okay? I'm down one zero. I might, by the time you're listening to this, I might be down to zero if the football team ran roughshod over the G-Men. And they will. Yeah, we're going back to the Waffle House, one of us. But I just

want to put this out there. If we go, 24 hours was sitting that motherfucker. Okay. I'm going to watch all the planet Earths. Okay. I might do the same. And I'm going to wait. Me, David Attenborough, and fucking, what's Cindy?

I'm going to go to go to the Lynchburg Waffle House to see our friend Cindy. I'm going to wait until August, as you did. That's fine. It'll be to kick off to the next season. AC is blowing in there in August, dude. We'll be in year four of this ongoing global. pandemic. You don't need to say global pandemic. That's redundant. A pandemic is global. This ongoing viral pandemic, can't wait to see where we are a year from now. Well, a year from now,

somebody's going to have a beat or two. I don't know when we're timing that thing up, but our fantasy football league, a little bit of background. If you haven't heard, we settled on loser. Last year was on a billboard for quite a while. That was neither of us. This year, it's going to be the loser has to drive a mutually agreed upon beater around town for a month. and they have to post on social media, and I will share that picture every day. They have to prove that they're using it. So, like, whether they're going to Quiznos,

I think I use that as an example. I don't know why I feel like if you got a beat or you go to Quiznos, but that's where you're going. You got to post in the parking lot once a day. Except that it's not going to be mutually agreed upon because we're going to choose it right now. It is mutual. We're choosing it.

You and I. Yeah, the other guys in the league. Like, we're paying for this shit. We paid for the billboard, you know. we're fun to be around. They like our pod. They obviously listen to it because they sure don't like you. Those guys.

They hate you, dude. Look, and my team is, the whole team is hurt. So y'all are going to have a fun time this year. You guys really are not very bright, though. The comedic intelligence of this group, you see the other day, hey, when you said that you won the league last year, was that you or the actor you play on the podcast?

Because I tell the guys, hey, I play a character on the podcast. not real me. Real me likes you guys, you know? And then everybody's like, oh, burn, L-O-L. L-O-L. Like, just fucking morons? I don't know. I don't know. I'm running out of ways to describe these people. All right. On to the punishment. Yeah, I'm interested as hell in your 1998 Suzuki sidekick.

So here they are. We're going to cycle through them. These are the options that the guys threw together for us. 1998 Suzuki sidekick. That's a JX four-wheel drive. I don't know what Jax means. Only 163,000 miles. Somebody drove that car for 163,000 miles, just drove that little fucking shoe box around.

Oh, no. Yeah, it's got a hokey sticker on the back. It's got a Virginia Tech sticker on the back. It's got true detective stains in the back seat. I don't know if the seatbelts work. Show me some more pictures. The engine looks good to me. Looks like an engine.

carburetor. Fucking pipes. There's a pipe right there. 2003 PT Cruiser. A woody. Yeah, it's a woody. Somehow leather interior, which is a negative, actually. In my opinion, that's in Cincinnati.

Now, the best part about this, the loser has to go get the car. Okay, so you're going to be driving a, unless you're hauling a, you know, a flatbed behind you, you're going to be driving a 2003 P2 Cruiser, which runs great home from Cincinnati. Don't miss this great deal. caller text anytime. Look, it's got like a knobby stick shift. It's a gas saver. A good little car.

Don't miss a great deal. 2001 Ford Taurus wagon. This 2001 Ford Taurus wagon is $1,500. It's in Glendale. I don't know where Glendale is. Just south of Richmond. Oh, easy. This would be too easy.

This thing is kind of sweet, actually. It's one of those like, is that a Ford Probe or? 223,000 miles. Yeah, no, not a bad car. She's a good old girl. a seller. Is that what she said? That's right. She purrs. 1999 Saturn

SL1. This thing's kind of dope. 1999 Saturn SL1 is in Baltimore. Evidently this was Taylor's first car maybe. Yeah, so we got Taylor's first car in here in the mix.

Available for historic tags. That's a little depressing. It's got four cylinders, too. CD player. That car just makes me laugh. Ford Ecolon van. This is the minus 330 favorite to win the whole thing here. The 2002 40 Connolline E 250 in Columbus, Ohio. Dude, it is, it's a van.

It's a standard rusty white van. Yep. You're probably going to have to just go to a police station to answer some questions. Like, just get that out of the way, dude. fits the description of some other things going around. Just want to introduce you to myself. Hey, I'm cool. Yeah, I wonder if this van is actually for sale because they're taking pictures through the window.

Oh, that's interesting. Couldn't open the doors, but they listed it anyways. 2007, Toyota Yaris. By all accounts, it's a reliable vehicle. I mean, the thing is solid. It looks like the thing I'd get if I got an Uber, you know, like an Uber X. that's one of those cars. The issue would be if a big guy wins this,

you know, loses this league and ends up in this motherfucker, like Conrath. Very round car, not many straight lines. That's what we have to consider, because there's a couple guys who are bigger guys, like Conrath, Wookie, guys like that. It would be awesome to stick those fucking guys in this little car.

But the van, so far is the favorite for me, that and the sidekick. 1998, Honda Civic. It's seven different colors. It's in Winston-Salem. It's parked outside of like, an apartment complex. This thing is a fucking, it's $500, dude.

This is a fucking, this is a... That's a month's worth of Aquapana. This is the wild card. Like, don't know what could be going down with this car. I don't want to put anybody in a dangerous situation, you know? Our first three, 310,000 miles. You have to enter through the driver's side window or the front passenger door. What?

you have to enter through the driver's side window or front passenger door and some speakers for radio disconnected. I love how they just fucking, like I care about anything else than the fact that I can't climb in it. Does this bad boy pass inspection? So I have to climb over the center console in this tiny ass car. But no, the owner could get that fixed though. But it runs perfectly. Oh, man. The Craigslist ad, the internet says it runs perfect.

yeah looks seems legit 1994 Suzuki sidekick wow this is a fucking sweet rig here that's why it's on the high side 1994 Suzuki sidekick 4,500 you just don't find them in this condition you can tell it's it's

it's not mint but it's good condition as they say starts every time shift smooth it's in like what the teal category of colors it's teal uh and it's like a convertible with a pink tire cover on the back Zero Rust Honestly I love this car is what the seller Says why are you selling it

But I want oh okay I want to sail to buy more Game Stop shares Oh my God GME to the moon Is what they said dude Hey is that ship sailed Y'all know more about that thing dude Like you might want to just keep the side kick

At this point 1994 GMC 3500 van This is it dude this is the odds on favorite right here. If you'll notice, it is a church fan. It is... Christ United Methodist Church.

That's right. We could do anything we want to this fan as a league. We could bumper sticker this thing. We could vinyl wrap it. We could just leave it as a church fan. Only 80,000 miles. I think you'll leave it. You think so?

Yeah. Maybe what we do is we get this and then we repurpose it for like green light stuff. We buy this van and then we figure out how we'll use it to create content. That's good thinking. Right? Two birds, one stone. Right?

Yeah. Probably not, you know, ridden very hard, you wouldn't think. No, churchgoers, man. 94. Good church-going people. I don't know, man. For me, it's this van or the serial killer van. I think we go with the serial killer van, honestly.

we can always slap a church sign on that motherfucker that Saturn thing made me laugh and the sidekick there's only two I want to mention okay so what do we think guys Reid Taylor do you have a lean I like the serial killer band for sure

the rust really rusted one really what rusted one you don't have pictures of the interior actually you just through the window I don't mind the uh the suit the sidekick either sidekicks either sidekick wonderful Okay, okay. Make?

Yeah, I'm good with the van. As you said, we can use this beyond the punishment. And the bad van. Yeah, where was that located? That's a good question. Columbus. Columbus, Ohio? Oh, I love that, dude.

I love that. Ask if they can store it until January. That's probably going to be an issue for these folks. That's one consideration. I have to pay more. So it's either the van or the sidekick. Okay. The other van is in Staten, Virginia.

Maybe we should just get the church van. Would it be bad to haggle a church going folk? No, the van is 27 years old. Yeah, I'm going to need it for two grand, dude. Cash tomorrow. Two grand. They want $2,500. Going once, going twice.

Why don't we anchor them at like $1,000? coming. We're starting our own church. They would be donating to our church. They're doing it good. GLC. So that's two punishments down. We have a big punishment to decide in the bridge.

The bridge between Jeff Schwartz and James Cohen, a few here. Reed and Taylor, Broncos, Jags, big showdown this weekend. So we're going to put some really crazy shit on this. You'll want to hear that. Good, bad, ugly. Make, you want to lead it off? Yeah, my good. Body by Make.

Rhyms with Body by Jake. I was on vacation. I came back. I went back on vacation. And some things get lost in the sauce on vacation. Among them, hydration, nutrition, push-ups, push-ups. Yeah. The list goes on and on.

While I know it's bulking season as we approach the colder months, I'm using this time to take care of my physicals, which will in turn take care of my mentals. You've seen producer John O'Leary lately? Yeah, he's fucking svel. Good God. With a V. Looking like John Basteau back there.

Yeah, more like John Basteau. So here's how I'm doing it. Follow along. 99 push-ups per day. Okay? Yeah, got it. I've been asked several times to go back through how I get to 100 push-ups.

Well, now it's 99. I do 17, quick rush-ups. rest in 16. That's 33. I go off my day. Midway through the day, another 17, quick rest, 16. That's 66, all right? Into the day. 17, another 16. That's 33. That's 99. We're at 99. Yeah, 99. Forget 100. Math checks out. I checked it. 99. We're going 9,000 steps per day, okay? When I began to put on a little weight because of the stressors of, I don't know, parenting, a pandemic, a podcast, I was taking about 5,000 steps per day. The three P's. Not going. good enough. We have wearable tech. Use it to your advantage. Yeah. Yesterday I got home about

6,000 steps. So I took my daughter for a walk and we ended up cutting through your yard. Nobody was home. That was one of my bads was your brazen trespassing. Oh no. This was I did it again last. That was two nights ago. I did it again last night. I didn't catch you that. No, you weren't there. So I get to the far side of your northernmost pasture on your farm. And I walk straight into an orb weaver. You know what an orb weaver is? Yeah, fucking spider house. Big old spider. all right and then because of the hilly bumpy terrain on this estate of yours my daughter starts crying she's uncomfortable i walked into a spider sue me i don't want to plant the seed but sue me i mean at any right it was it was uh a net plus because we we uh we push well beyond nine thousand steps okay water

can't drink the water at the beach why is that no aquipana so oh and you can't drink all the bottled water because there are nine other people in the house and you can't be like that hydration king at the beach house because then you have to go got to be a hydration prince when you're at the beach house with aqua panna so these days we're we're doing 120 ounces a day of the uh obmal county tap water which tastes like buttered ass good about this at this point are we in the good he's not because I'm focused no no I'm almost done it got it got it okay everything seems bad I'm reading a book I'm reading a book's angry about reading a No, I'm not angry. I'm pumped up. It's called broken glass. I've started it. He's got about

some architecture. It's a true story about Chicago, many things, all right? I'm reading nine pages a day. Do you know what nine pages a day over a year gets you? Yeah, it gets you three thousand two hundred and fifty pages. That's right. Nice. Really? If it's not right, it's very close. Okay. Basically you're jacked again. Oh, about to be like I let it go for a couple weeks. That's right. But body by make, follow it. Let me know your results. And we're going to get back into good shape before we have to go to the Waffle House. You got any good?

Oh, yeah, I got some good. Lincoln Stars, man. Thank you all very much. I'm going to put this down so we can actually use the social. Do you see this beautiful sweater, as they call it, if you're a hockey fan, you know? It's called a sweater. I made fun of a player on the Lincoln Stars because there was an article about a guy who got 14, stitches in the hockey game and the next day

tufted it out at media day. He was at media day the next morning. So I lean into my bit and next thing you know I get a DM from the Lincoln Stars and I'm cringing because I'm like they're going to beat me up. They're going to put my sweatshirt over my face and they're going to start punching me like a hockey

fight. No, they wanted to offer me gear. They're really cool. The Lincoln Stars are really cool. They offered me some free gear. Maybe they thought I would ask for a hat but I was like, no, I would love like a replica jersey. And they were like, yeah.

So they sent me this sweater. Beautiful. It's a star, but one of the legs of the star is a hockey stick. Yeah, it's pretty dope. Actually, objectively, very dope logo. Yeah. Yeah. Don't hold back now.

We want some free gear. So thank you Lincoln Stars. And anybody with a minor league hockey team, send us free gear. The P.O. Box is... P.O. Box, 5267, Charlottesville, Virginia, 22905. If there are any packages, this address should be used. 2150 Wise Street number 52-67. Charlottesville, Virginia, 22-905. And guys, there are millions of people listening to this podcast right now as we speak. So if you want your minor league hockey team to pop, you know,

to get some play on the old internet, as they say. send it to the PO box, man. We'll take all the sweaters we can get. I'll fucking, I'll get one of those rolling closets in here. You know, I'll rearrange the whole studio. Tier 1, junior ice hockey team

playing in the USHL. They play in the ice box on the former Nebraska State Fairgrounds, which sounds dope. Yeah, it sounds awesome. Founded in 96. I got a bad for you. Oh, give me a bad, yeah.

Stanford Steve decides not to turn up today a week after giving out Illinois plus 10, Illinois lost by about 50. Yeah. Stanford, Steve. We dropped a 40 burger on them, Steve. Shee. He also said some other stuff last week, too.

Did you notice by any chance I went four out of five in my NFL picks? Great week for you, man. I felt awful about my picks. That's the key. Hate your picks. Do well. I think there's something to that actually,

because I loved my picks all last year and I was hemorrhaging cash. Yeah. Hate mine again this week. Okay. Here's my ugly. The Washington football team's quarterback situation. Cowboy Reed sent me this article, I believe, in the production group text.

So it's an article by John Kime. Kime, John Kime at ESPN, yes. And it is a labor of love. I can't imagine having to actually, I don't know what my ugly is. The quarterback situation the last 30 years in Washington or John Kime having to actually archive this and go through it and examine the analytics and talk to people. He got like first-hand accounts of some of these quarterbacks.

That was ugly. It's basically, long story short, been a poltergeist situation. Like they built that house on a Native American burial ground. Yeah? Was that in the plot of the movie? They built that fucking field on something. And quarterbacks, they can't survive there. It's like fish out of water.

And so it brings into question the Chase Young, Justin Herbert thing, like should you have drafted, Justin Herbert, you know, hindsight is 20, 20, but yeah, I think oftentimes you take quarterback over a pass rusher, St. Louis Rams 2008. Matt Ryan? Matt Ryan? Matt Ryan? Matt Ryan? Maddie Ice. I don't know. But you're such a good locker room guy. Yeah, yeah. Hey, Fitsy, quarterback 31 since Brett, I can't say his name. Ripian. Rippin. Ripon. Like Mark Ripon. You know, we've been through this for a couple years now. I can't say his name. Mark Rippin led the football team to a world championship. That's right, which I

forgot about, but 31 quarterbacks since that dude week two, 1993. Five first rounders, three former quarterbacks who played in the Super Bowl. So like former Super Bowl quarterbacks, McNabb, Haustettler, Grossman, holy shit.

And then Brad Johnson and Rich Gannon went on to play in Super Bowl. So they're totally snake bit. In fact, the closest thing they had to a legit rookie sensation got hurt. Patrick Ramsey was good for a few weeks. How many of these guys do you think you could guess, honestly? Jason Campbell. Okay.

Patrick Ramsey. Okay. R.G. 3. Okay. Sexy Rexy Grossman. Was that already said? No. Okay. We're just talking about Washington. Washington since 1992. Okay. Ryan Fitzpatrick. Yep. Taylor Heineke. Yep. The kid in Minnesota, Kurt Cousins. Who was ranked number one in the last 30 years. Oh, it was like a power ranking. Yeah, they power rank these guys. Um, okay. Uh, 2000s. Um, uh, 2000s. Um, um, Um, let's go with, uh, you're not going to get there, dude. There's 30 of these motherfuckers.

There's over 30 of them. In fact, uh, there's names like Jeff George on here. Didn't remember when he played there. I mean, Mark Bernal played there. A ton of guys that you did not remember playing there played there. And you didn't mention McNabb, right? No, you did.

I mentioned McNabb. And like the way they shit on these guys in this article, John Beck. Oh, BYU. Yeah, he caught a Nathan Peterman stray. Yeah. totally guys minding his business somewhere out in Utah you know living a peaceful life and Chris Cooley was like what I remember is he called everybody and said this is John Beck your new

starting quarterback which I thought was weird and I was kind of wondering if he was serious and then they got a Santana Moss quote that said he sucked ass and went on to say that he was happy he broke his hand at the end of the season so all this is really ugly but the ugliest part of it is this. Squanch was ranked 30th. Out of 30. That's right. No. Yep. Friend of the program, Squange ranked 30 out of like

31, I believe. Was it 31 or 30 read? 30 out of 30. He played two games. Record was 0 and 1. Zero touchdown. That's what I mean. It was at the time that they were quarterback, but I just thought it was fucked up that Squanch caught a stray being

on this list. That doesn't count. Yeah, it doesn't count at all. I thought of two others. I'll stop my head. Okay. Dwayne Haskins. Yeah. Alex Smith. Yeah. Alex Smith was like 18 or something.

Or Haskins was 18, actually. They had Smith like 17, which makes no sense to me. Smith was 18. Haskins was 19. You're going to tell me they were that close the way they played. Actually, this list is invalid now, actually. Yeah. Not that Alex Smith was great there, but.

Who was one? One was cousins. Right, right, cousins. Brad Johnson would be like three or four. At least. Yeah. At least one slot ahead of RG3 maybe. Hey, we've got Jeff Schwartz, talk a little football, college, and pro.

Stick around for the reveal, the big reveal of the punishment when it comes to Taylor and Reed and the Jagging Off Bowl. Jeff Schwartz, punishment, co. Stick around. We're going to talk some gambling. Win bet app. Oh, yeah, yeah. Download that.

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your first month of treatment for free. That's k-e-e-e-ps.com slash greenlight to get your first month free k-e-e-e-p-s.com slash greenlight. All right, Jeff Schwartz is joining us. Makin and Jeff just met for the first time and making greeting him with his, with a love is love. Yeah, it might be taking that back, Jeff, after you said Virginia, who cares about Virginia? We should start with that one. Start with that one.

No, it's funny. So my brother took a visit to Virginia, I think, is one of his recruiting visits. So he actually considered Virginia. And then also some of my favorite coaches, coached in Virginia. Andy Heck was in Virginia. Andy Hack was there. Some of my, a BA was there who I played with who I like, I like BA too. So there are some connections there.

But when you sent over the list of games we're going to go over for college football, the other list, I mean, looks great. But I have knocked it over Virginia and North Carolina because I just, I don't care. Well, yeah, obviously you're not into the oldest rivalry in the south, Jeff. Yeah. Fine southern rivalry. Is this in Chapel Hill? go? Do you have to drive there for this

for this rivalry? No, but you should at least watch it. It's, you know, it's the number nine team in the nation facing an upstart Virginia team. They're not number nine? I think they're like number 21 because they lost in 10. They started the year out at number nine. Yeah, but the line is nine. The line is nine.

The pants off Georgia State though. Yeah, they did beat the pants off Georgia State. It's a ranked team against the team who should be ranked. Oldest rivalry in the South. Make, how do you think it's going to go? First off. Oh, golly, Chris. How are you?

You know? That's called deflection. You don't think it's going to go about. Well, they're very talented is the thing. Yeah, you and we run four quarterbacks out there at the same time on offense, and I'm just not sure if the gimmicks can work for three consecutive weeks. We'll have a shot, as always. Has the four quarterback offense made its way into your zeitgeist, Jeff?

I think you just watched Oregon play last weekend. I think we had one quarterback, and he went to Ohio State and one. that game. So we don't have, we have one quarterback who's, who's doing pretty well for us. And big flex. Dude, we don't want a game like this in 25 years. You should. You should. I went to check on you. I went to check on your timeline immediately. And you did it without the stud, right? Yeah, KT didn't play. And yeah, he didn't play. I like saying that KT, because we've been having trouble with the Thibodeau and Tibado. Kvon, Tibido, yeah. And by the way, you appreciate this. the sack of the game, the last sack to end the game, our backup, well, our starting

tight end used to be a D-N at Miami. And he came in the game and rushed the pass for us with so many injuries. He had the game-winning sack. No. Yeah. DJ Johnson number 12. What a dream. And you said, you pronounced KT's last name, How one more time. Kvon, Tibado. That's weird. My co-s told me it was something else. I don't know that I did. Yeah. I don't know that I did. I think we vacillated here. We vacillated. A few times. All right. So we vacillade. too long on Virginia UNC because obviously it doesn't fucking matter. I want to ask you about one of the biggest college football stories of the week, and that's Urban Meyer mumbling at his press conference about the USC job.

What do you think is going on at USC and does Urban Meyer want out already? Well, he might want out already, but he's not going to go to USC. The USC just can't hire him, right? USC needs a coach who is going to be there for a while, right? Stable coach who is not going to bring attention to himself as much as Urban, Wood. And look, Urban's M.O. is right. He's going to stay four years and leave. And children don't need that, right? They need a long-term solution. And maybe he does win in four years there and they get a championship and move on. Think about USC. Same problem. We have in

Miami and Texas and Michigan, all these schools. They care about the past way too much, right? They're, oh, we won in 2004. Okay, that's over with. Recruits are not, we're not born when that happened. They do not care. You were good 18 years ago. They care about what you do now. And to me, USC needs to hire young, energetic, recruiting your ass off coach, who just brings it every day with energy. And the rest will sell itself. You'll get an O.C., you'll get a D.C., but just go get yourself a guy who's not afraid of the moment, who's not afraid of the job. First and foremost, understands, name of your likeness is happening and understands that the program of the past is not what you're selling. You're selling the future.

The future of the programs are what you're selling. And I don't know if USC gets that quite yet because they, whenever I talk about USC, they're like, oh, yeah. 2004 man 2004 we won in 04 you have one i think one pack 12 championship in the last 12 years like congratulations on winning winning 18 years ago yeah so why can't they recruit like what's the recruiting lay of the land in the pack 12 because it doesn't feel like are you guys dominant up in eugene when it comes to recruiting are you guys like the most dominant recruiting force because of the success the uniforms the facilities or how does that work with u sc are they kind of the outside looking in so u sc has had good recruiting classes last year

they were ninth in the country, I want to say. Oregon was just ahead of them. But then, you know, they had a really down year in 2019 where they were fifth in the conference, fourth in the conference somewhere around there. The problem with USC has not been the lack of players. It's been the lack of development of the players. They just haven't developed a lot of players to the talent that gone.

Yes, Oregon has come into California cave on. He is a California kid, right? In years past, he would go to USC. He's an Oregon now. Those type of players are leaving. Because Oregon is recruiting their butts off, man. And Mario Christopher understands that's the name of the game. You have to recruit to win.

You can't win now by just out scheming people, especially the top level. You've got to win by having the best players. And Oregon's going to have their fourth straight year of top 10 classes, which is wild because, guys, Oregon wasn't good at football until like 20 years ago. And it wasn't the thing where we were just to have always been good. We got good 20 years ago and we're carrying the momentum over now to a team that I think next year, we will have a legit chance to win a championship. Jeff, Bellotti was good for a long time.

Chip Kelly barely lost a game. Health Rich was solid. And then Willie Taggart, jog our memories, seven and five in one year at Oregon. And then he left on his own accord to go to FSU. Isn't that right? I think it is right. He was there one year.

I just never expected Oregon to be a place that just had a one-year coach. You know what? So I called the Oregon Spring game, his first spring game he was there for Pacto Network. And I remember him talking about the players. We can get nothing from. crazy he wouldn't give us a single thing of anything but remember he talked about Herbert's leadership and how he just Herbert wasn't loud enough for him and wasn't you know what wasn't kind of vocal enough

and they're trying to get out of him and I feel like that stuck with Herbert his entire time in Oregon contrary to everything we saw after Willie Taggart left like this last year at Oregon the the players would die for that guy man they run through a wall for Justin Herbert I would die for him I'm just a podcaster and like he's he's a great football player and he kind of got shit on by Taggart that one year and then never recovered of his image never recovered from him. I mean, people were still talking about that when he was being drafted yet no one at the current program would ever say anything bad about him. Yeah, you're right. You're right. It was kind of like, why are we so negative on this cat? I know. Like maybe the offense didn't

fit him as well, but it did not fit him very well. But yeah, Taggart was there a year. I don't remember much of his time. I mean, they ran sort of the offense he had. They were explosive offense. But yeah, they were seven to five. They were six and six. Seven to five is better than I thought. So let me ask you this then. You just meant. mentioned USC living off of 2004. And as I was going to ask you about Nebraska, Oklahoma, and given, you know, prediction there, the line is 22, which is bad, bad.

Nebraska, living off the 90s, is anybody living off pre-2000 more than Nebraska in the entire country? What about Miami? I feel like Miami's been more competitive often on in recent years. They had the 0-2, they had the beginning of the 2000s. Yes. So they joined us this millennia.

Yes. Same thing with Florida State. Florida State, we kind of had this conversation. Like Florida State is certainly the adult- their past, but they've won. James in 2013 or 14 or whatever it was. Yeah, probably Nebraska, right? They've done really nothing since ever.

Like, I just, yeah, I would say, I'm trying to think in my head. Like, is Michigan up there too? And Michigan hasn't been to a state in years. Yeah. When was the last time they were nationally, like in a giant bowl game. Like what was your last Rose Bowl?

They're perpetually in like, uh, one of these like big 10 number three team bowl games. perpetually. I think of like, well, like, when did they have,

like, when was their last giant major like rose bowl they were in? Because they won the big 10. I don't think they've been in a rose bowl in a while. I just think of them as like an outback bowl fixture. I don't even know if they have the outback bowl. 2007 and, and, uh,

USC smashed them. No, I mean, look, they play, they play in the citrus bowl. the Peach Bowl, Outback Bowl. I mean, they play kind of in those Florida Bowls

because they travel pretty well, but they don't win a lot of those games. And they just, I think Michigan is one of those schools too that feels kind of stuck in the past. Yeah, absolutely. Tennessee. Tennessee.

Tennessee, that's a good one. Yeah, yeah. The last year, 98 was their last championship. Does Oklahoma cover in Norman? So I would say yes, and here's why. The line is very big. 22 is a lot of points. Nebraska just can't score.

That's the problem. They just can't score. I think they've scored over 30 only twice in last 10 games. Their quarterback's very one-dimensional. And even the Buffalo game, they just scored 28 points. They had a 70-year touchdown pass and a one-yard touchdown and after a turnover. So they're not going to get against Oklahoma.

And Oklahoma's offense can just score the best of them. I think this game gets out of hand fairly early. Nebraska can't come back. Adrian Martinez is not a quarterback that can bring them back. I get a better coach, a better quarterback, and just a better team in Oklahoma. It's a lot of points, though. It's got to be like 49-17 type of game. I want to bounce back to the Pack 12 for a moment.

Are you buying UCLA? I am buying UCLA because they do things in a way that's sustainable, right? They win in the trenches. They have an entire defense, Chris, that is a senior later. They start 11 seniors on that defense. Yeah. When you have the veterans who have played a long time that really does help you, they play fast and play physical.

The problem with them and Oregon, by the way, they both are the same issue, is their quarterbacks aren't very good in like third and eight situations. Yeah, he scares me. Yeah. Anthony Brown does, yeah, and the only Thompson-Rompson. When things are schemed up very well for them, great. They're great. But my concern with him and with Anthony Brown to Oregon is if you're down in a game,

like let's say this weekend at Fresno State just comes out smoking, right? And Fresso say it's up, a touchdown the fourth quarter, which they were against Oregon, by the way, right? The game was tied, I think, no matter. Nonetheless, is DTR good enough to win in those moments? Is Anthony Brown or not good enough to win those moments? Remember, Oregon was ahead in most of that Ohio State game, right? They didn't really have to kind of get into two-minute offense.

So that's my concern about both those teams. They play October 23rd, Oregon, UCLA in the Rose Bowl, which is a game that was kind of like a throwaway game. Game day is probably showing up there now. So we'll see what both teams have. But they're for real, I think, because they win in the trenches, which, look, you can never go wrong being physical up front. That's good to see. I like seeing UCLA be good. How about Bama, Florida, 14 and a half, Bama, given over two touchdowns on the road? What do you think in there?

So, Dan Mullen is five of his last eight covering against Florida. He, excuse me, covering against Alabama. He actually can coach this team pretty well against Bama. So here's my play on this one. I like Florida to cover the first half, seven and a half. And here's the reason why. Bryce Young, it's his first start, a true road start, right, for Alabama. He has a neutral site game, because I don't know who they play Western Something State last weekend. Now they go on the road to the swamp, first road start. Like, this is going to be a big deal for him. It's going to be loud. It's going to be hot.

It's going to be annoying. All those things are going to happen is first road starts. Florida's defense is multiple. They blitz a lot. They have some unique schemes. I think he just starts slow in this game. On the other side of the ball, I hope they play Richardson. who's their better quarterback.

But Mollins just kind of is, they just score enough points against Bama. He's able to generate offense against Bama. So to me, the first half is the play here. Florida plus seven to half, first half. The full game,

I don't quite trust. I like that first half bet. Yeah, I might ride with you on that. That sounds provocative as fuck, Jeff. You have to have some fun. If you want to get a little crazy, right, you go Florida first half to cover Bama full game.

Yeah, because that's probably exactly how it's going to go to. I mean, I can completely see it going that way. And if I didn't, talked to you, I would have just took Bama, so I'm really glad I talked to you. How about this Hawaii 1230 start thing? I look, Jeff Schwartz did not play in a 1230 game, but these are always fun as a viewer. What say you about a 1230 start? So, mind you, this is 1230 a. Sunday morning.

Yeah, we're talking about. Okay, we're not talking about. Let's make sure everyone's aware. Yeah, Hawaii, that would be a 630 a.m. if they were doing a, you know, a 1230 p.m. here. Yeah. So, so for Fox Sports this year, we're doing a basically a thing called the Aloha Bet. So every week, I'm recording a video for this game. We're going to put this out like Saturday night. Like, hey, guys, if you want to chase, here's your chasing opportunity. I think after this, I'm putting on a Hawaiian shirt. I ordered eight of them from Amazon. Hopefully they're here today. Put on a Hawaiian shirt and we're going to talk about this game each and every week. Look, Santa Day State's going to get a win and cover this game, I think, in a pretty big way. Their coach, his team let him down a little bit against USC a couple weeks ago. They had plays to be made. And Brennan, he coach his butt off. He's four and O against a spread against Hawaii,

and he's covered nine of his last 11 games against Mountain West opponents. Hawaii's allowing 42 points a game so far this season. Like, they allowed 45 to Oregon State who couldn't score against Purdue. So I think here, I would go San Jose State big in this game. Of course, if you're staying up for this game,

God bless you. I mean, that's late in the night. hopefully you don't have all your money tied up in this game but um i think san jose state covers this i might just put this bet uh this san jose state bet in my drafts and then and then fire it off at uh about 1215 and drift off to sleep and the line in the line is only six and a half that's wild that's wild okay only six and a half hey uh give us one lock and let's move on to the nfl you got a lock that you love in college football this weekend a lock that i love um

Cristobal to SC. Yeah, that's not happening. There's no chance of that happening. What would he do? I would just give up college football. No, that's not going to happen. He's not leaving USA. He's not leaving an order for USA.

USC is not a better job right now. People hate hearing that, but it is what it is. Lock of the week. This sounds, I'm going to, I've liked USC minus eight and a half before they're fired Clay Hilton this weekend up in the Paloose at Washington State. It's not a night game. It's a day game, which is important because shit. gets really weird up in the Palouse at night.

But they're eight and a half point favorites. Washington State is not good. They're 83rd on red zone, excuse me, on a third down defense. They're 92nd overall in defensive efficiency. And you know how this is, Chris? When your coach gets fired, there's just like a fire inside of you to understand that.

If you don't play well, you're getting fired also. Yeah, dude. And I think USC comes out and just kicks their ass, honestly. Like, they come out and just do what they're supposed to do. They're better almost every position that is Washington State. And look, USC's offense gets slowed down when you can hit the quarterback as most offenses do. But Washington has two total sacks this season against Utah State and Portland State. Like they're going to, yeah, yeah.

Nobody runs on Portland State. Nobody. No, nobody does it. Nobody does it. So to me, it's USC here minus eight and a half. I'm going to go with, and I don't know anything about Michigan State. I just hate, I just hate bet them, bet against them. So I kind of like Miami giving almost a touchdown at home.

And I kind of like Virginia down in Chapel Hill and the oldest rivalry of the South. How many years have they played that game? Like what do you cross? 103 or something? 120? What is it? Yeah, probably closer to 120.

Yeah. Long time. Long time. And yet, if you asked most people. A thousand people on the street. In this city with the oldest rivalry in the South, Well, there had no, 125 total meetings. North Carolina leads, 63 to 58.

Under, on Wikipedia, it's under South, South, the largest victory, though. Virginia won in 1912, 66 to nothing. So we also have a four-game win streak right now, and we beat them in basketball too, which is there. Yeah, exactly. So anyways, the- How do you score 66 points in 1912?

It's pretty incredible. Fucking, I don't know. That does deserve some research, Jeff. Yeah, you're right about that. We'll get on that. Cowboy Reed, go through the stacks over there at the library. Jeff, the Chiefs. What is the temperature on the Chiefs right now?

Last week, tight ball game. They stood up late. They were kind of moved around a little bit on defense. Where's your trust level on the Chiefs? The team you know really well. I think it was a good start to the year, right? This was the Brown Super Bowl. If you hear them talk after this game, the Browns are talking.

I saw a report that Baker Mayfield and Jarvis Land you had to talk the team about keeping their heads up for the rest of the season. Go point. Yeah, yeah, right? I was like, yikes. Yikes, it's week one. And obviously, look, the Chiefs showed

kind of the championship fortitude, right, down 2210 and halftime, and they didn't make mistakes, right? The Browns blinked. By the way, I do not think Baker Mayfield was throwing that ball away. I don't know why that became the narrative of that throw. He was throwing a wide receiver.

It's a bad throw. Do you agree with me on that? Oh, dude. Look, somebody says he's throwing it away. I'm like, that's not convincing enough for me. I mean, I'm 50-50 on it. I can give you some plausible deniability, but if I had to,

I'd err on the side of bad throw. Yeah, bad throw. So I think the Chiefs kind of weathered the storm in that game, they were out without Frank Clark, there without Honey Badger, without one of the starting linebackers as well. Brand new offensive line breaking against a really tough defense of line. This weekend, they're in Baltimore.

This is my favorite play of the weekend. They're favored by three and a half. I just saw a report as we're about to go on that Ronnie Stanley might not play. So the left tackle might not play. Villanueva was really bad. I like Big Al, but he was bad on Monday night. Yeah, no, I'm with you.

It looks like a problem for them. And if you had to guess how many yards Pat Mahomes as average and his three games against the Ravens, what would you guess? Passing? Yes. 374. Okay, yeah, that's right.

What is it? I think it's 370. I think it's 371. Oh, honestly. You were wrong. 378 somewhere around there. I'm making it said you were wrong. Let me see here.

I'll give you the exact number. Because I wrote down to your 400. 378.7 yards. Fuck. You're an idiot, dude. That's a lot of yards, though. There's a lot of yards, dude. A lot of yards.

I remember that primetime game last year. It was like they couldn't get them off the field. And the reason why they can't is because their defensive coordinator is stubborn. And he just refuses to change the defense. He just runs man coverage and cover zero. and chiefs just tear him to bits. What are we doing? You know, like that's what he does though, right?

I know. You play with coaches that this is their defense. They're going to call it and they just hope that I guess things will be different this time around. I feel like that happens a lot to the chiefs though or playing the chiefs. I feel like the Bucks had a very questionable game plan last year against them maybe when they played them late in the season. It's just everybody wants to test their metal. Everybody's got a big ego. I'm not saying that that's the case with coach.

in a bad way, but they want to prove that their shit works. Right, but don't the best coaches, though, understand that they have to be flexible. They understand, like, I mean, that's what Belichick is. I've always appreciated about Belichick, you know, you just didn't know what you're getting. I remember 2015 we played them, I was on the Giants, and we prepared for three base fronts. And you know most teams have one base front, right? Yeah. This is four, three over, three, under, an odd front, whatever it is.

We prepare for three of them. And the one we thought we'd get the least, they ran the entire game. Yeah. Like, that's just what he does, right? And so, you know, the best coaches adapt. And part of that being able to adapt is having the personnel to do that, right? You have interchangeable pieces. We saw that hellish front that Tampa Bay came out with against the Cowboys.

They put those seven guys, like lined up across on, like, third and eight. And it was just like they put the two D-Ns out wide, the two-de-tackles out wide and linebackers everywhere. And having to be able to do that and kind of not present the same look to the offense, the Ravens don't do that. They just did the same shit all the time. Like the Raiders knew, cover zero. Here it comes. Game winning touchdown, back. Like that's what everyone does.

The interchangeability is huge and it is in New England and they are the model for although we always say this Patriot way, you feel like the cliche is that they're stringent. They are in a lot of ways, but not in a way of what's our identity this week and who do we have to beat. So I want to give you a two and a couple two and oh teams that are possibly two and oh after this weekend as smoke clears. There's only going to be one. The Raiders and the Steelers are playing each other. I was trying to pick out two teams that may look like contenders, but might be pretenders after this Sunday. Who do you trust more out of the Raiders and the Steelers?

That's a good question. Well, the Steelers have shown they're able to do this more often, right? I mean, with Tallman, they've won a lot of football games. The problem is their offense is going in the wrong direction, right? Their offense is continuing to go downward because their quarterback is old and can't throw the ball anymore. I mean, that's a big problem. They won last week with defense.

and special teams were just not really sustainable throughout the season, in my opinion, right? You have to score someone off. The Raiders problem is they're terrible late in the season with John Gruden. Like, they've just been bad. They implode. And so they start good and then implode.

So I would trust the Steelers more because I trust their coaching staff. I trust their defense. Their offense line's young. You hope they improve throughout the season. They do have some weapons on the edge. You hope they Claypool and Jujo and all those guys can, you know, can get going.

But really, Ben just can't throw the ball anymore. It's that simple. But the Raiders have the track. the Steelers on the track record of being better in the situations. Yeah, and both of them were playing in the AFC, which is incredibly deep, even though the AFC South looks really suspect right now. An AFC South team that people are worried about

with good reason after that first week is the Titans. And, you know, I'm looking at the Ravens and the Titans as two possible wildcardi teams. I had the Colts win in the AFC South. But either way, their playoff caliber teams, or so we thought, and both could start O&2. In fact, I think it's likely that, both might start 0 and 2.

Who do you trust more out of the Ravens and the Titans? The Ravens are the Titans? Yeah. Well, look, the Titans issues on defense were the same as they were last year, right? They couldn't go off on third down and couldn't rush the passer. And those don't look much better. Yeah, no, they don't. Their offense really worrying me.

How come no one really talked about that Terry Luan tweet this week? That was a weird tweet. It was odd. It was odd, dude. Like, you got your ass kicked. Okay, we all watched the game. all the time. Maybe not five sacks, but not all five were on him. I mean, there's two. Anytime you get five sacks, you need a couple freebies. You got beat for a three piece.

I believe Dennis Kelly got beat for one of the sacks. So, listen, just maybe. And then SportsCenter goes, Taylor LeWan kept it real 100 emoji after I'm like, you know. Sure. Sure. You could just move on, though. I mean, like, you just move on. You just move on. So I just worry about their offense. So last year, they were the most, the offense that used the most play action in the NFL, right? Nearly 60%. And last week, they did play action pass twice,

two whole times. They had a whole offseason to prepare and did it twice. So this is their offensive identity. And Brian Tannahill's not really excellent outside of play action pass. And now they go to Seattle, and what does Seattle do? Seattle hires a McVeigh-Shan-Clon. And what do they do? They run a ton of play-action

pass, and Russell Wilson hits a ton of deep passes. So you have two offense. that are contrasting and Seattle's back at home now, fans back in that stadium for the first, that stadium, you know, that it's loud. Oh yeah. So I think the Seahawks blow them out, man. I really do.

You know, it's not an overreaction to week one. It's more just the Titans issues they had last year are just still bad. Like they haven't improved what they're about at last year. I'm with you there. I'm with you there. I would trust the Ravens even though I worry about that offensive line in a big way, especially because Stanley didn't look the same,

even when he's out on the field. So, you know, I don't know what's going on there. But I do trust the Ravens more. Do you worry about Josh Allen after last week, Bill's Dolphins this weekend? You think it's going to be tight? I don't worry about him because the Sears defense is really good. And they got home with just for a bunch of time.

Yeah. And, you know, when that happens, not a lot of quarterbacks are going to play well. So I'll give it a couple weeks. You know, I just, I don't think he'll be what he was last year. that feels just the jump obviously was was historic yeah and I don't think he's going to be that guy quite this year but I'll worry about it in the next couple of weeks I'm not going to overreact because then you know then look I was very down on Josh Allen and then I had to admit I was wrong

and now if I go back to me you don't want to be wrong on Josh Allen twice yeah I don't be wrong on twice so I'll wait I'll wait a couple of weeks before I decide on that it's so we're in the season let me let me ask you one thing before we give out the picks like give me an offensive line situation. We just mentioned two of them with the Ravens and the Steelers. Give me an offensive line situation that's going to rear its ugly head later in the season. Well, let me think. I mean, the Dolphins, offensive, their left tack situation is pretty bad right now. You know, the offensive lines are going to be are bad. I mean, look, I know there's the one. So the curious one is Detroit, right? So Padesu, Wally pipped Taylor Decker in like the first quarter of that game.

And what happens to Decker now? Does he go back to right tackle? Does he go to left and they move Penae back to right? Does he get traded? You don't move Penae back to. No, I don't think you do either. You don't. And I think this pot will be out today, right?

Thursday or it'll be out Friday. Yeah. Oh, Friday. Well, you can count your money then, I guess, afterwards, with the Giants offensive line just getting wrecked by the Washington football team tonight. It's going to be ugly. And those guys are pissed because they didn't get home. Oh, yeah.

Yeah. The Chargers offensive line was fabulous. The Roshan Slater kid is legit. And he, Chase Young moved after the first quarter to the other side. Oh, yeah. And I've seen that plenty in the NFL is like, hey, you, like guy who gets paid less or is younger than me, you go over there and just deal with Rishon Slater for the entirety of the game. It happened to my brother.

It happened all the time where like Khalil Mack would spend the first quarter against Mitch and then just go to the other side. Yeah. It's a great compliment. Yeah, it is. It is. It's a great compliment. So I'm not trying to what like what offensive line is good now that could be

bad. It's typically the other way around, right? They start off good and then get really bad. You see the Eagles O' line. Now, this was Atlanta, but Jordan Milata looks better. And he better because they paid him money. They backed him a ton of money. And Kelsey had a nice game. Lanes Lane. I mean, Brooks is back. Yeah. The Eagles are pretty interesting team after week one because, you know, they won that game, obviously up front, right? I think their offense line was great. Their defensive line looked good, which they've been good for a long time now. But their offense fell a little smoke and mirrors. to me. Did it feel that way to you too? Like a lot of,

a lot of like week one, we've been practicing some stuff. No one's seen before. And we just kind of got the Falcon. I'm with, okay, so I feel good about their defensive front. Yes. Very good about their defensive front. I think they're going to be stingy on defense. I think they'll improve there. Offensively, I do want to wait and see a little bit. Although Jalen Hertz was, you know, not light years ahead of where I thought he'd be week one, but he was ahead. And more than anything, I was really excited about Syria.

I was like, okay, this guy's at the very least not a dumpster fire of a coach. He looks competent. Now, grain of salt, it's Atlanta. But I thought he tailored the game plan nicely for Jalen Hertz to get comfortable week one. And, you know, we'll find out more about them the rest of the month here. Yes. And that's why, again, week one, don't want to be overactive. And look, the, they got Niners team who played a really bad fourth quarter.

I do wonder how the Niners come out and maybe keep the, you know, you know, keep the foot down the entire game on the pedal because the Niners were, they were up 41, 17, like two minutes left. I almost lost the game. It's wild. I know, dude. I know. And that doesn't bode well for their defensive line that's been so celebrated that, you know,

you let the Lions back in a ball game where they're in two minute for most of the second half. So I was watching that game because I was watching Pinae and like Bosa left the game. Like he just, you know, they were, they were up 4117. He just like, they took him out and then he had to re-come back in. Yeah. That must not be fun. They just don't have the depth they used to have there. And so I didn't pick the Niners to be in the playoffs.

I could eat my words. But the last time I said that I was right, this is sort of a reverse Josh Allen situation here. There you go. Yeah. I think I've had that once in my college career when I got taken out and I cut my tape off of my hands and they're like, you're going back in.

Oh, no. You made me cut my tape off. Yeah. And then I learn my lesson. So whenever I get taken out, I never cut my tape off. Don't cut your tape off. Don't take your pads off. You never know.

I'll never take my pads off. But, you know, like the, preseason, preseason, preseason. No, this is regular season. Yeah, no, I'm talking about in preseason where they're like, I wait to the half to get my stuff off. If you tell me I'm out in the first quarter, I've seen some stranger things happen. Oh, for sure. You know what I mean? Yes.

Hey, let's pick three real quick. I personally like the Bengals in Chicago. I do. They're getting one. It was three. Now it's shrunk down. It kind of worries me. I'm taking a flyer on them.

Minnesota, Arizona, over 51, makes too much sense to me. And then the Seahawks, we're parking our car in the same garage there in the words of Dave Damasek. I don't care if it balloons to seven. I still like the Seahawks hosting the Titans. So I'm going with the Seahawks. They're at five and a half now. That's the number I think they got played on most contests. So I like that.

I like the Chiefs, it told you that three and a half. I mean, it's going to climb now that, you know, there's news about the Ravens. Not only that. They lost a guard for the season. Now, Stanley is not playing their moving, villain away, but back to left tackle, possibly putting a new right tackle. Four guys playing in different spots,

like heading into this game against Kansas City. I like the Rams in Indianapolis. I'm not a Carson Wentz guy, and he did not look very good in week one. And the Rams, defensively, you know, we thought they'd all step back. I did a little bit, but offensively with Stafford, they got things going.

And again, Frank Reich, I just offensively, they're kind of a record. Can I interest you one more, by the way? Yeah. The Jets are getting six points at home against New England. There's this thing, and it's true, right? Belichick has played well against rookie quarterbacks, but you didn't have Tom Brady anymore.

Like all those numbers with Tom Brady need to be thrown out. And without Tom Brady, Belichick does not cover the spread at a high level. They're going to run the football and they're going to keep Mac Jones safe. I mean, what did Mac Jones attempt? One pass over 10 yards in week one. What's the total in that game, Jeff? I know the Jets are down. The total is 42.

I know the Jets are down their left tackle. I don't hit that. In Mackay Beckton. But like why are the Jets, their defense looked okay last week against, I just don't know six points is a lot. Yeah, it's a lot of points, especially when there's a premium on points. I'd be more inclined to take the under on that 42 number there.

Making, you got, what do you got this week? Miami Dolphins. Miami Dolphins getting three and a half at home against Buffalo. People think it's a foregone conclusion. that the bill's returned to form, Josh Allen, et cetera. I don't know. You're going to make your money early on this thing.

Miami Dolphins plus three and a half. Two and O. Okay, cool. You got anything else? Two and O. You got anything else? Sure. I can go for days.

Yeah, you got your other two? I do love Kansas City. I love Kansas City, three and a half. I don't be too chalky. When they played... They're going to run them out of the building. When they played last year, the Ravens' leading receiver was J.K. Dobbins

at like four for 30. I don't know how they can hurt them aside from Lamar running around the field and Chris Jones is going to be playing N dude okay so take your pick they're going to kick him out on third down it's going to be a bloodbath and then here's a fun one 12 and a half is a whole lot of points

yeah the Atlanta Falcons on the road at Tampa Bay yeah they're like a JV football team right now maybe like 16 17 points in a backdoor TD from Maddie Ice give me the Falcons oh you got the Falcons Give me the Falcons. I'm thinking that the Brady covers late. I'm going dogs again. Two weeks in a row.

Okay. It'll turn next week. Atlanta plays Tampa well, but they couldn't. It was close six points. They look different. They look different. Okay. Atlanta does play Tampa well, but they just look different last week.

They look totally inept. Historically, week two is Arthur Smith's favorite week. It is his favorite week. Good to know. I'm going to say, there's one other game, by the way, that I think could be a bloodbath. I think Green Bay just dominates the Lions this weekend. It's Monday Night Football. I think it's 11 points.

It's a lot of points. I think you throw them a teaser. Like Green Bay is not going to be embarrassed again, right? Oh, man. We can only hope that they are for the sake of, you know, like something to talk about because that would be, if they lost to the lions, man. I mean, what do you do if you're Green Bay if you lose to the lions? I don't even know. Here are the Rogers to the Broncos.

Aaron Rogers to the Broncos. Here are the funny numbers this week that I saw before we let you go, Jeff. Saints giving a field goal. I thought that was a little bit fishy. Arizona giving three and a half after that performance last week. I mean, it's the Vikings. And the money, man,

a lot of bets on the Pats, a lot of bets on the Chiefs. We've hit those two games and a lot on the Chargers playing the Cowboys. Well, DeMarcus Lawrence foot surgery. Foot surgery. That's right.

That's not ideal. Things just seem to be going in the wrong direction for them, man. And I was high on them this year because I think the NFC East is pretty open right now. And I thought the Cowboys would win that. But the Chargers played a really quality game. The Chargers played a game that they've lost for 25 years now, right? We were just saying, dude. Like they played a game where a 10 a.m. Pacific kick, you know, they had a very weird fumble.

I still don't get how that was a fumble by Herbert out the back of the end zone. And they went on a six and a half minute drive to end that game, like from their, from their own 10 all the way out to kneeling it. And I just thought they looked really good. They've exercised the demons, Jeff. where can we find Jeff Schwartz this fall? Yeah, so my podcast, Jeff Schwartz, is smarter than you. We'll have three episodes a week now.

We do a college recap. Then we do NFL show. We do our gambling show, which we put out. So we go over some college picks and we do a super contest three and two last week. So good start to the season there. And then, you know, I Twitter at Jeff Schwartz. And I post my Fox Sports stuff as well on my social media accounts. But, yeah, podcasts and Fox Sports.

I don't think any of your listeners are going to tune into serious XM radio. hear me talk about the PAC 12, but I think they might. I think they might. Jeff Schwartz is the man. He knows as much as anybody. And Jeff, you are smarter than me, but I have somebody in my camp that I might trot out in a jeopardy style situation or like a general knowledge quiz situation one of these months. We should have you in making go head to head. I'm not good at trivia, unless it's like sports trivia, I guess. A win. Win. Win by forfeit. My forfeit. So now I feel slight.

Now we might have to do it. Now we might have to do it. All right. We'll see you then. We'll see you before then. Jeff Schwartz, thank you for the time, brother. Yeah, take care about it.

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That's mintmobile.com slash greenlight. Cut your wireless bills to $15 a month at mintmobile.com slash greenlight. You think you're smarter than Jeff? I don't know enough about Jeff. We'll do a little scouting. and maybe we'll do like a Jake Paul type showdown

pay-per-view the whole nine yards but only intellect. Sports? No, just like general intellect. Okay, yeah, yeah. Po-Peree. Hey, two smart guys I know speaking of intellect, Taylor and Reed. That's right. Yeah, they are

not just smart. They're also men of their words, respectively, Jags, Broncos. And Lucky Reed. The Broncos. We want Reed and Taylor to bet. because Reed's a Broncos fan like my two-year-old son Luke who's obsessed with Reed

that's why he picked the Broncos and gave me artwork he gave him artwork too he gave him artwork two pieces from one from Whalen one from Luke yeah they walked right by me I was like oh thanks

they were like no it's for weed weed and then Taylor's a Jags fan he's jagging off so so listen guys you you guys are good sports about this are we going off the line

or outright? Line. Oh, the line. For sure. And that's good if you read because that's a lot of points. Yeah, right now it's sick so I'll need a touchdown.

Yep, yep. And I think you'll be fine. But Teddy Bridgewater, I have all the faith in the world. You must because I'm looking at some of these punishments that y'all came up with with the help of Kingston.

And I'm looking at this and I'm saying some of these are kind of rough for one football game. Certainly one meaningless football game. Yeah, they make me sure. shuttered in my boots a little bit. You shake it or you shudder

shake it and shudder it over there. Well, let's read through them. Shall we make? You want to do the honors? Yeah, number one, busker on the mall. I didn't know what a busker was. You can't leave until you have 10 bucks.

Basically somebody playing guitar with a, with like a cup. I would, I would, here's a tip. I would open the guitar case, you know? Yeah. more surface area for people to drop dimes.

And it's less like suggestive. You know what I mean? Yeah. You just, I would show up with like four singles and plant them there. And then people would like kind of, it's a nudge like, hey, pay me.

For the record, neither of us play guitar. I say if we go to, can we go to $15? No. Okay, $10. Number two,

operate a lemonade stand in a Boy Scout uniform. Now this one here, read in a Boy Scout uniform is pretty, pretty funny. Yeah. Neither of us can probably fit into our Boy Scout uniforms. Oh, you don't have them. Boy Scout uniforms.

I have one. Maybe he doesn't. No, I don't. He said that like a lot of us just hold on. Yeah. Reed, I feel like you could pull that off pretty. Can you tie a lot of knots?

I'm just picturing Reed with his dirty stash in like a Boy Scouts uniform, creeping everybody out on the mall. I think he might be in bracelets by the end of the weekend. The way we have to introduce ourselves with. with the van. So he's got to go down to the precinct. If you were in jail,

could you bust out with your Boy Scout knowledge? Probably not, no. Okay. Yeah. Number three, open mic, 10 minute comedy set.

Now, is this at like a real open mic thing? I hope not. This would be at like, like, I don't know we had those, honestly. Like a wild wing cafe,

rest and peace, I think. That sort of deal. Really? Yeah. Okay. All right. Number four?

Walk down length of the downtown Mall, which is an outdoor pedestrian mall in Charlottes, Virginia in colonial garb while ringing a bell and yelling, hear ye, hear ye, the Broncos or Jaguars are awesome. These guys like to dress up, huh? They're really just itching to fucking dress up. Y'all can do this on your own time.

Okay, number five, number five. Have photo of winter shirtless as your phone home screen for a month. Who came up with this? Yeah, that was my next question. I think that was John. Okay, number six. Number six. He just wants to see his shirtless.

Six might be my favorite. This is my favorite. Drive around with a female blow-up doll and passenger seat for a week. No, no. Can I expound upon this one? I will negotiate this down if you go out to dinner with a female blow-up doll twice in a week. Twice. It's too much.

We're putting too much on one game. You guys don't even have kids yet. Two days is nothing, dude. You mean like take the doll out on a date? Yeah, sit her in the seat. Yeah. Go down to Maya. Yeah, I'm taking her to Waffle House.

Go to Waffle House with the doll. Sitter in the seat. Okay, number seven. And this one's pretty good too. Go on a road trip with Nate. Dr. Fax. And we wouldn't know where we're going. Exactly.

Nate would just take us somewhere. He could take us down to the turkey farm. How long? How far? Nate determines. Oh, Jesus. This might be the one, dude. That actually sounds like it might be kind of entertaining.

We would go, maybe we would go to Reverse psychology. The turtle's funeral. I was also going to ask about that this week. I was wondering where the, how they, like they did. What happens when a turtle

I think the trash can. Unfortunately, yeah. 72% of turtles. From the James River to the fucking to the dumpster in Bridgeport, Connecticut or wherever. Not the first time I'm sure. I think all of these are good busker on the mall. I'd be entertained by that.

So you're saying one dinner with the blowup doll? But Waffle House, I mean, that's easy money. I think it has to be an entree. No, like downtown mall. Yeah. Blow up doll. Down to DT. DT.

But once. Yeah, one time. One time. But you have to. Nobody else. Just you and the doll. Just you and the doll. But you have to drive the doll to work that week.

It's one game. We're throwing a lot on one game here. All right. I'll vote dinner with the doll, dude. You know, dinner with the doll feels like it's good. It's good to get out. you guys haven't been out in a while I can get behind that

it's got to be at least an hour meal I'd say oh yeah like it's got to be a real dinner here right we're gonna figure out some ways to enforce that but just to confirm the doll is purchased by us cool yeah I don't want my mom looking at my credit card seat seeing something weird

sex doll yeah 70 dollars what happens if we're not allowed in what if they won't let us in probably better right just keep trying restaurants. That's a good question. You just say like,

you're anti-doll, huh? Okay. And just walk away like really calmly. Then they're like, fuck, dude. I'm going to be a, I'm going to be a Huffington Post article. If you get legitimately denied from 10 restaurants,

I think that counts as one meal. Yeah, yeah, you got to go up to all 10, like with the doll, like arm and arm. And you got to refer to the doll as, the doll's got to have a name.

And you're going to say, uh, Cassandra. and I would like a table for two. Like, and it's got to be, now here's the deal. It's got to be outside. That's my last thing.

Because what you could do here is like, it's still kind of nice out. You could just like dart to the back of a restaurant and, you know. That's still pretty good too, though. Yeah. People using the facilities. What is the doll's name going to be, guys? Ruth.

Each of you. Little baby? No, you had it. I think Cassandra's. Cassandra's good. Cassandra. Okay. The doll's name.

name is Cassandra and we're taking Cassandra out to dinner and I'll pay for dinner and I'll pay for the doll. Okay. And can Cassandra get whatever she wants? Not whatever she wants now. There's the, listen, Cassandra can't be ordered in fucking bottles of opus. Are you anti-doll? Fuck yeah, I'm anti-doll. I actually not, I actually am anti-doll. I did a whole bit about this, remember? Right. You're right. I am anti-doll. Who takes possession of the doll after the dinner? The loser or you? Well, I think it depends on the chemistry. That's the best part. Yeah, I mean, here's the best part.

No, here's the best part. You got to pop the doll. At the restaurant, as soon as you signed your check, pop the doll and walk. Quickly, how many sirens would come. That's the fastest I've seen a tear come out of the eye. The visual of Reed just, can I have a steak knife?

Try to pop the doll with a butter knife. I'm sorry fucking psycho dude yes you have to pop the doll though got it oh god we're good good sign sealed delivered

done deal okay and I propose in the spirit of fairness if the game pushes if it's a six point final score in favor of the Denver Broncos that you and I have to go out

for a meal with the doll you and I the doll a night on the town we're all involved the plot is thick the group text will be fire on Sunday.

I think that's the move. Come on, that's not going to happen. I know, but it's just so, uh, you, do you kind of want to do this? You kind of want to go out with a sex stall, I feel like. I mean,

this is not something that we had to, to buy into. Granted, but I've been here now. Well, I did see a picture of one of them. She looks nice. Yeah.

You know? Wife alert. Wife alert. Our wives don't listen to this podcast. Yeah, especially not this deep. To say what? Blonde or Burnett? She's blonde.

What kind of clothes? Did we talk about that part yet? Halter top. Don't even know what that is. Spaghetti straps. Spaghetti straps. Yes. The sex doll needs to have spaghetti straps.

Spaghetti straps for sure. And wedges. You got to clop that thing around. It's got to wear shoes, dude. Little purse. Why don't I keep saying sex doll? It's an inflatable doll. Right.

They don't all have to be like for absolute sick. It goes this. If my wife, imagine if your wife caught you ordering a blowup doll and she was like, it's a sex doll. And you were like, no it's not. It's just a blowup doll.

I just have to go out to dinner with making with her. No, but there is a difference. That's all I'm saying. Yeah. It's not that gross. Not that it's gross either way, guys. Whatever floats your boat. Sex positive.

Podcast. All right. James Coe on the way. Twitter, we got our shit together. Okay? We got a real handle reflective of the name of the podcast. Guys, we did it. Applaud.

And now go follow us. At Greenlight. Twitter is at Greenlight. We also have a new YouTube channel name as well. Greenlight Tube. Hope you guys like that. James Coe, man. How was your first week in fantasy?

Oh, brutal. Really? Just absolutely got, look, I'm in one big money league and it's the only league of emotion that I have. You know, it's the only league that I actually care about. It's like a thousand dollar buy in. I've been playing this league for like, I don't know, like, damn near 20 years. I've been playing this league. Have you won the league?

Oh, I've won the league. Yeah, many times. Um, sound like yeah. And listen, when that when that, uh, when that payout comes in, you're like, yeah, this is pretty nice boy. Uh, but no, um, man, I had, I got three guys go on injured reserve on that roster. It's a 14 man league. So the, so the depth on the waiver wire is like nothing. I had Ryan Fitzpatrick as my starting quarterback. He played, you know, all of a drive. Yeah. Uh, I had Jerry Judy. Um, and as we know, he was on his way to like having a great game and a great season, man.

He looked awesome. But now he's on IR with a high ankle. And actually we're happy about that right because it could have been a freaking broken ankle by the looks of it. And then Rahim Moster was one of my starting running backs too. And I'm like opening weekend first half like I got three dudes go on reserve man like and I just was I was on full talk. You just reminded me dude. I have Rahim Moster on one of my teams and I'm afraid that I haven't replaced him yet. Okay. Well, while you. look that up. Yeah, sure. Let's talk San Francisco because Elijah Mitchell, very popular Waver Wire pickup. He is now a member of the houses, by the way. Is it possible that any given week it is

going to be Jeff Wilson or Tray Sermann or now Trin'Cannon or do you think Elijah's the guy? Second part of the question is Brandon Ayukes still a member of the San Francisco 49ers? He's in the dog house, dude, it sounds like. Is he alive? you know a lot of people brought up the brand iuk thing and brought up dante pedus too and i just

think i just think it's a different situation you know like if you're um listening uh to what shan is saying the the iuk thing is more related to his hamstring injury than it is performance you know so hopefully you can get up to speed you know what's funny man like you you want my tinfoil hat conspiracy theory on this whole thing yes i think kyle shanahan knew that detroit it was so bad and that he knew Jared Gough like the back of his hand and he could just beat the brakes off of Jared Gough in this Detroit. I think he went into that game and said, forget it. I'm going to go in here with my backups. I'm so cocky. I am so confident. I'm going in with my backups and I'm just going to beat the brakes off of Detroit with my backups. And I'm going to give the league something to

think about. I'm going to give my starters something to think about in terms of, oh, you got to work harder to earn a spot like trace sermon being deactivated like 90 minutes before kickoff was the most bizarre thing in the whole world like where is this coming from and in my in my conspiracy theory mind that's that's what i kind of sort of got to was that kajanhan wanted to send a message to his team i think he's a little bit sadistic i do in like a really harmless way outside of football i don't think he's sadistic but within the arena of football i think he's a real motherfucker so does that mean you're not riding elijah mitchell from here on out no i am uh first of all all it's because Moostert got injured and is out for the season. You know, Elijah Mitchell ran a

4-3-840 guys. Like, this dude can fly, man. Now, not the biggest dude in the whole world, but I mean, again, I don't know if it matters in the outside zone scheme. You know what I mean? So speed is the most important thing. And I think Trace Herman and Elijah Mitchell will split those carries pretty evenly, to be honestly. I think it's going to be about a 50-50 split. I like both of those guys in that backfield. So guys, this just in, I found out which league I actually had Mostard. He was set to start for me this week. I'm sure he was very unhappy about that because he's limping around and shit like that. But he was set to start. It's a deep league. It's like a 12 or 13 team league. Or whatever it is. I'm looking at the running back situation out here in the streets. There's

not a lot of running backs in the streets. Now is there somebody I should pick up? The top names I'm looking at are D. Williams, K. Gainwell, T. Jones Jr., T. Johnson, C. Patterson. Oh, I might pick up Cordero Patterson. That's the one that got away for me in another league. Do you have an M. Ingrams in there? I don't think there's an M. Ingram had about 55 Cairs. Hey, listen man, you have a you've got a Saints Gleason jersey

behind you. Just go and pick up Tony Jones Jr. Man. Okay, Tony Jones Jr. Okay. There we go. Added. Added Tony Jones Jr. See you later. Rahim Mostert. I'm wishing you the best. Sorry about it. But confirming that. All right. Well, that leads me in my next question, which

seems like you just answered. Cordero Patterson is a total like no fly zone for you because I got so excited last week. I had him on my roster and then Sunday he started to get the ball a lot out of the backfield. Yeah, I'm not a no fly zone for me, but I just I don't trust the volume, you know, for Cordero. It's like I get it. Like he's trying to convert to this like weird slash hybrid role. And quite frankly, like he might have the most juice in that Atlanta backfield. but I don't know, man.

Like the team overall looks not great. Touchdown upside looks pretty bad. And again, I just wonder about the overall volume for Patterson on that team. Joanne Johnson, who people probably were all simultaneously, had the same idea about last Sunday as he caught two balls in the end zone for the Saints. On three targets. What do we make of Juan Johnson's prospects for the rest of the season and fantasy? Man, you know, it's so crazy, Juwan Johnson.

like that crazy 14 team 1k by let he's my starting tight end juan johnson i actually like juan johnson you know i went back to watch some of his stuff and i was like man this guy can make some plays boy um and we already saw this blueprint a precedent being set in new Orleans right with marquez colston like a guy who can is like a wide receiver tight end hybrid kind of player um and so i was intrigued like he got three targets two touchdowns but tell me he did not look like the vastly superior athlete to Adam Troutman in that time room. So I just wonder if there's nobody named Troutman that's like he might be a really good football player and I respect him like but you can't be like a pure athlete named Troutman. You just can't. That's a good point. But yeah, man, you know,

I thought Juwan looked like the much better athlete and I just wonder if Sean Payne's going to find more ways to get him more involved, you know, didn't play a ton of snaps, but But I mean, no Michael, like they need playmakers. Yeah. They need playmakers. And I wonder if Juan can be that guy for them. Chouan might be that guy. Let me ask you about another tight end who disappointed me on Monday night.

Mark Andrews didn't get involved much for Baltimore. But got you the win. Well, there's a lot of leagues. I can't keep track of them all. I had Darren Waller who got me the win in one league. Oh, good Lord. Vanquish Akeb to leave week one in Akeb's own league. Mark Andrews or Dallas Goddard this week on one of my teams.

I think it's a very close call. The one thing is that Mark Andrews is in Baltimore. They're playing KC. It's got an anticipated total of 55 points. So you just figure there's going to be a lot of touchdown score in that game. Unless you like the under by a lot, I don't know. But the boys in the desert, they see it as 55, right? So there's going to be a ton of points score in that game.

And in fantasy, kind of sort of makes sense to capture some of that pie when you can. And, you know, I kind of think that, you know, with Sammy Watkins, by the way, He's a great sleeper in that game. But I think you want to capture pieces of that pie, and that's why I would say Mark Andrews in that game. I'm not somebody who's very interested in the Packers, kind of a no-fly zone for me in general, but I do love watching Aaron Rogers play,

and I know fantasy managers are excited about him this year. Is there a reason for them to be panicking like they seem to be doing? I mean, like the sky is falling if you have Aaron Rogers as a quarterback right now. I mean, Godly, he looked just. just abysmal there in week one. Well, and actually, to be fair, I think he looked fine in the first half. Had a couple of bad breaks, but I thought overall, like he looked okay in the first half. And the second half, it just fell apart.

The team gave up. I don't know what happened, you know, but my read on that situation there is, and I've said that this many times, but I'm not a big Matlifloor guy. Like, I don't think what he's doing schematically is play calling. I don't think it's like anything special. I don't think it's anything good. I just think that it's Aaron Rogers, a transcendent talent. lifting the entire offense, putting it on his back. And when he can't do that, I think what you see is is basically Green Bay reaping what they sowed, which is they didn't sow very much, to be honest with you. Like, they're not investing in offensive players. Right. You know what I mean? And the ones they do

invest in, like A.J. Dylan and Jordan Lutz, they're redundant pieces, right? So I don't know, man. Like I think it's kind of a bare cupboard offensively. And Aaron Rogers is master's. asking a lot of those problems. But they have Randall Cobb. They've got the Randall Cobb. And Amari Rogers too, another unathletic slot guy. But no, I look, listen, I don't, look, I think there, this is a team that was due for some regression anyways. Yeah.

And, um, and I think that's what we're seeing. I'm not saying like it's going to be this bad obviously, you know, but I think we will see regression, uh, from a team that I thought was way. better than expected last year and I think they come back to the pack this year. Well, fully intended. On topic, am I an absolute lunatic to ask you if I should start A.J. Dillon or Derek Henry in Seattle? Because A.J. Dillon's playing the Lions and they're going to be in four-minute mode the whole game and it's going to be quite the opposite up in Seattle.

And until I see Derek get loose, I haven't seen him get loose. I mean, I know it's a stupid question, but allow me to ask it. No, you're still going to play Derek Henry. Okay. Anticipate a volume too much. And again, I just think in terms of like the point totals and everything, like it should be fine. It's not going to be like I said, it's not going to be 2020 Derek Henry, like I said, you know, before. But I think in this matchup, he should be just a okay.

We'll call this rank one, two, three. Three running backs for you. That's a good side. There's a fucking segment. Najee Harris, Chris Carson, Jonathan Taylor. Oh, wow. These are tough. It's a really good podcast. I like Naji Harris won, for sure.

Naji Harris against Las Vegas is like guaranteed slam dunk, going to respond. I think he has 100 plus yards in a touchdown. I'll take Chris Carson against Tennessee. I think Tennessee's defense is nothing to write home about. A little bit better up front than there in the secondary, but still I think Chris Carson will get it done. And then finally, yeah, you know, Jonathan Taylor, I think he's a great player,

but taking on the Rams. Tough, tough, tough week. And the Colts offensive line did not look right in week one. Three receivers for you. Debo Samuel, Chris Godwin, Deontay Johnson. I think it's always going to be Deonté Johnson for me. Anytime you ask me one of these, you know, close ones, he just gets too much volume and he's a great-ass player.

man. And in this week particular, it takes on again, the Las Vegas Raiders who, you know, defensively a little bit left to be desired. So, um, and who are the other two? Godwin and Samuel. Chris Godwin and then Samuel. Godwin's too good of a player. That, that offense is too good. And then Samuel, it's kind of like, I just don't know, man. Like I have a just a gut feeling that I think there's going to be like an overreaction to I think I think Ike's going to see like 10 plus targets. And I think Debo will kind of sort of, you know, get his normal, you know, 6 to 7 targets. Come down. Damn it. I had Debo on my bench last week. Hey, James, just not to. Yeah.

We've buried the lead. Chris is 1 and 0. The cucks. The houses are 0 and 1. I was part of that. Judy, Mostert, Odell. Oh, no. Odell, thank you for the Wednesday. So I could go see an IR, Gus, yes, yeah, yeah. My bench now includes Mark Ingram, James White, Devin, Singletary, Latavio. Murray and then we're thinking about Hollywood Browner Elijah Mitchell at Flex. All that to say

we're going to be patient and wait to see which one of those running backs emerges. Waiting in the wings so to speak. Just to try to finish seven. Waiting in the wings of the houses. Hey, James that's a gross looking running back room. Well, that's the bench.

I just damn near started Boston Scott for for mustard. I didn't really have a choice which goes to show you. We got Zeke and Ackler We're starting. So we're going to be. That's cool. One thing before we find out where we can see James Coe this fall and remind people of that,

you're being in fantasy leagues, James, it just hit me. That's like if I go play pickup football games, like everybody wants to try me. I don't think it's probably fun for you to be in fantasy leagues because there's so much at stake, like people are like, oh, you're the fantasy guy? Yeah. No, it's true. It's like if you don't win, people clown you. But you know what?

That's part of fantasy, though. It's the trash talk. So it's all good. And you know, in a lot of these leagues too, it's like, hey, listen, in a snake format draft like all the rosters are leveled out. You know, so it really just comes down to kind of roster management and playing the matchups and those kind of things. And, you know, that's kind of where I make my hay anyway. So it's fine. Like, you know, I feel confident saying I think I finish in like the top four of damn near every league I play in. But yeah, if you don't win, if you don't win, they're like, yeah, you suck, dude. You suck. We beat you. Yeah, well, just so you know, I'm a drafter.

I'm not as much of a manager, and I haven't actually ever lost the league. So I'm just going to put that one out there. James Coe, where can we find you this fall? Direct TV, man, just all over DirecTV, DirecTV sports. And if you get the Red Zone package, they've got a channel on there called Fantasy Zone, which is basically Red Zone, but with a fantasy twist. You know, we cover every single game.

We show you every single touchdown. And me, John Hansen, Dan Helley, and Lindsay Rhodes, We'd basically just walk you through every single game and talk about the fantasy implications of every single game all day, Sunday. It's a lot of fun. I really recommend people watch it, man. James, I'm riding with you this week on Carolina plus three and a half. And if you're wrong, if you're wrong, that's not going to be any good for anybody. Okay.

Like a thinly veiled threat. Wow. I mean, from a skinny guy. Finely veiled skinny guy threat, which is scary. All right. James Coe, appreciate you joining us. We'll see you next week. All right, man. See you guys. Okay.

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