Green Light with Chris Long - GLP Friday Freedom Freak Show! Price is Right, Dead or Alive, Revisiting Sports Teams' Potential Nicknames & Mailbag!

Episode Date: July 5, 2024

THE Friday Freak Show! Chris, Macon and Nate all in studio to get our podcast freak on. We start with a Dead or Alive Celebrity segment that produces many entertaining side conversations. We then dive into some nicknames that sports franchises had on their final nickname list but ended up not using - a few of these teams probably wish they could've gone back to make a different selection. Price is Right shows up on the show today, a very fast and loose Price is Right. Ending with a mailbag that is entertaining as we relive Chris' first interaction with alcohol as a youth. Plenty of fun, enjoy the conversation, appreciate the love. (00:00) - Intro (4:15) - Dead or Alive (23:47) - Revisiting Sports Franchises' Potential Nicknames (36:35) - Price is Right (1:05:00) - Mailbag: Worst Places to Shit, Favorite Bottom-Tier Team to Play With in Madden and More! Want your Green Light Merch so you can look exactly like Chris and the fellas? Hit the website below and get kitted! https://stores.kotisdesign.com/yotehouse/products Have some interesting takes, some codebreaks or just want to talk to the Green Light Crew? We want to hear from you. Call into the Green Light Hotline and give us your hottest takes, your biggest gripes and general thoughts. Day and night, this hotline is open. Green Light Hotline: ‪[phone]‬ Send any Talent Search submissions to: [e-mail] Include any video of your talents, takes and bits as well as a little bit about yourself. Love hearing from the Green Light fans. Also, check out our paddling partners at Appomattox River Company to get your canoes, kayaks and paddleboards so you're set to hit the river this summer. https://paddleva.com/ Green Light Spotify Music: https://open.spotify.com/user/951jyryv2nu6l4iqz9p81him9?si=17c560d10ff04a9b Spotify Layup Line: https://open.spotify.com/playlist/1olmCMKGMEyWwOKaT1Aah3?si=675d445ddb824c42 Green Light Tube YouTube Channel: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCgxWFAA-wuB7osdiAJyLOcw Green Light with Chris Long: Subscribe and enjoy weekly content including podcasts, documentaries, live chats, celebrity interviews and more including hot news items, trending discussions from the NFL, MLB, NHL, NBA, NCAA are just a small part of what we will be sharing with you. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

end up grounded for six months six months now i think i was out on parole after like four months yeah but like my dad was cool about it because he knows like hey this guy's not going to want to drink anymore that didn't look fun you know woke me up in the morning sat me down talked about i had a ripping hangover and i had no idea what a hangover was i just remember being like i wouldn't go anywhere if i could is this going to last the whole grounding because i can't leave well we the next time you drank after that? This is six and a half months later. Welcome to the Green Light podcast.

Hey, thanks for being here today. I hope everyone had a wonderful Fourth of July, very safe and wonderful Fourth of July. It is a mailbag fun show today, a very special Friday freak show episode. Chris, Macon, Nate, we're all hanging out in studio. We do a little prices right. We do a little debtor a lot.

Ask the fellow some mailbag questions. Look back on potential nicknames for professional sports franchises. What nicknames were in the running when they made their final selections? Just a fun 90 minutes. Y'all enjoy today's episode. We'll be back Tuesday with Maken. It's Makin week next week. It's Bo Week following that.

Chris has taken us two weeks in Montana. But we've got some great content coming up for you. So stick around. Enjoy today's show. Enjoy next week. We'll see you then. Just a minute ago, y'all started talking about the UVA Wyoming football game you played in. We talked about it a few times in the first.

The show it sounded damn near hell. What's the elevation up there, University of Wyoming? 71.65. 71.65. The Jumbotron has flames, pixelated flames behind the altitude. When you walk into the stadium. I think they have a sign like when you walk in that says like, how's your air? Yeah.

Like as soon as you walk, it's like, welcome to 7,000 feet above sea. Bro, in my mind's eye, it said, welcome to hell. And I've told this story. I've been like, yeah, that Jumbotron says, welcome to hell. and everybody's like, no, it doesn't. No, it doesn't. It just felt like hell. The dudes were running in place.

Oh, man. Everyone was on an IV bag at half. We lost by 20. Speaking of, you just took a tour of the New Virginia football facility. Oh, dude. Gorgeous. Unbelievable. 20 years late.

Is it sweet? Yeah. I just want to note that there's a great big picture of you with the caption. Biggest letters you've ever seen. The sack. The sack. Yeah, I didn't think about that. The sack.

Yeah. The Maryland sack? I got me incapitating Chris Turner outside the D-Line room. It's cool. We need to call him the sack from now on. The sack. Like Bradley Cooper in Wedding Crash. Well, there was the running joke.

Jimmy Lake, my shout of Jimmy Lake, my equipment manager. He had a couple kids that were very young and working in the locker room. And they used to come up to me after the games. I'd be sitting there naked at the fucking with a towel on. And the kid would nervously say, Mr. Long, nice sack. And his dad would be standing by the towel rack laughing. Yeah, but the facility is beautiful, man.

They got everything. They have everything. The weight room is huge. You know, when I heard they had a bowling alley at Clemson, I was like, man, we're just fucking behind. Not that we need a bowling alley. Oh, I was about to say, we have a bowling alley? No, not here. Oh, okay.

But, you know, suffice to say, other teams have bowling alleys, and we, you know, we share a weight room. with rowing, which is fine. None against the rowers. But you know what I mean? You go tour some of these facilities. It's crazy. Matt, what are we playing today? We're going to start with a little bit of dead or alive that Reed has ready.

Oh, terrific. First one, Dick Van Dyke. Dead. Dead. Alive. Nate gets it. Alive. 98 years old.

You saw him the other day dancing down the red carpet. Well, I didn't. Oh, obviously I didn't read. 98. Oh, yeah, I did see that. Yeah. Can we track of the scoring here? Yes.

That guy looks incredible. 98. Hey, we're a dick as a kid's name. Wouldn't that be great? No. Like, I don't need a Richard or a Rick or a Rich or Richie. How great would it be to have a little dick on our hands? Little dicky.

Well, let me put that differently. Little dicky. Little dick running around. You see my reaction? No, because you're one. You know what I mean. Grow up a little bit, cowboy. Just hey, you little fellow, what's your name?

Then he names his son Dick, Dick, Dick Jr., D.K. I'm Chris Hanson. All right, grow up. Let's go to the second one. Second one, Jerry Springer. Oh, Jerry Springer's dead. Very dead recently. No, it wasn't very recently.

A couple years ago. Jerry Springer. Yeah, but three maybe? Bringer, Springer. No, it was actually Jerry. He's a lot of it. He's dead. He died because I remember when he died, there were like, there was some video that came up about him after the fact where he was being mean to somebody.

And they were like trying to do a guy with Jerry Springer. Oh, shout out to Steve Wilco's. Dude, Jerry Springer. His kid goes to my high school. Wilco's, big ball guy. Yeah. He has his own show now. All right.

Jerry Springer did a kind of bad thing for a long time. When you really look at it through the lens of like, it was entertaining as fuck. What? But he basically just made crazy people. He, it was like basically, he made crazy people crazier and exploited it. Dude, it wasn't Jerry Springer, but have you seen the clip of who's the other guy? Not Jerry Springer. He's got a talk show. Dr. Phil? No, it's not Dr. Phil. Montel. He, Mori. Mori. Mori. Mori and Springer. Black and white people love Mori. They were staples for daytime. Like, trash television, you need that. just like just like the dead dead or alive mori povich hovich alive alive surely povich his dad is dead mori povich alive alive so mori mori was the guy the woman was afraid of olives he was deathly afraid of olives because she said her grandfather had a when he was in the casket his eyes looked like olives and she was like six and she's deathly afraid of olives and so she's crying

and screaming and clutching Mori's arm and she's like, no, and he's like, bring out the olives. And she goes ape shit. Look at it. Dude, there's something wrong with this woman. But no, he may. On TV, she needs treatment.

But Mori definitely. Look at her. She's running down the hog and she's afraid of olive. They've blurred the face of the woman holding the olives. Yeah. That's my take is that these people did a kind of bad thing for a while. He made paternity thefts very, very famous. Yes. You are not the father.

Like he might have, he might have been able to, I wonder if he could have, like, what is it called? When you, like a saying, if he could have, like, Oh, he could have, coined it. You know what I'm saying? You are not the father. You are not the father. Yeah, yeah.

But you know what else? To hear you are not the father is like a common man's Super Bowl. It's their 283. Like if you want to know what I would I don't know what that feels like But I would imagine it feels like 283 It could be a Super Bowl or or Yeah Yeah, absolutely opposite right

Right, you are not the father If it's your shorty You're right In that situation it could be like the other side of 283 Yes You know or the pick at the goal line It's all about perspective this life More he's married to Connie Chung

And Jerry interestingly went to Tulane University. You hear two lanes expanding, Nate? Did you hear about that, Nate? All right, Matt. To three lanes. New fighters entered the chat. Yeah, dude.

Number four, dead or alive. Suzanne Summers. Dead. She's dead. Alive. Dead. Rest in peace. Thymaster.

Suzanne Summers had it going on, didn't she? Yeah, three. company pull up a suzanne summer's uh google images remember step by step let's just let's just oogle over old or dead for the entirety of this podcast all right susan summer's back in the day can you make one of those pictures bigger is that the one you want to make bigger keep going keep going to the right keep going to the right give me that one give me that one showing a little leg back there left left yeah in the yellow my god i can't even see oh she's like seventy years old dude that's what i mean dude she was incredible you 40 year old guys know what i'm

talking about you start checking out some women that are like a little older than you expected to be checking out at this age just dangerous you know what i mean susan summer's got to be 60 years old there presented your wife's dead she does have high blood pressure I got a blood pressure cup the other day hers is terrible would you dead or alive your wife dead sorry to break it to you and now you're presented with the same back from morning yeah right you're presented with a 60 year old prospect or a 20 year old prospect 20 year old okay all right relax chill all right I don't want to go through this again.

55 or 18. Ugh. Ooh. Golly. 54 or 18. Keep coming down a little bit. 53 or 19. Keep coming down.

I can only go as far as 52-year-old. It's today. You're 30. Can I stay single? Why does it have to be a teenager? You make it compelling. No, because you're going to pick the 21-year-old. 52 or 19?

No. or 19. That's the best as I can do. Okay, 52. Give me a A lot of 52 year old. You're going to be happy with that. I can go through this again. You're going to be happy with that. Diane Lane, 59. Sign you up.

You can't date a college kid. I'm not dating a college. 52 and a heartbeat, kidding me? Would it take in 60? What if the 19 year old really could use a massive inheritance in a couple years? You know, and you feel for her. how old how old do you think jennifer gardner is do you mean garner yeah 47

52 okay yeah Jennifer garner over yeah like these hawk toa types not in my holly berry's over 50 right for sure yeah yeah all right number uh five alan arkin who's that time out actor like dead actor like I mean but like he's I'm gonna I say dead. Dead. Dead. All right. N.A.

Can't count that one. Jimmy Carter. Alive. Jimmy Carter is fucking alive because this week, somebody's making a joke about him being available to run. All right. How about his wife, Rosalind Carter? Dead.

Dead. I'm on it. You should say dead. I dead. Sure. She's wondering where he is. You are on it. And Makin is the first respond to each of these.

Yes. First responder. Thank you for my service. David Attenborough. Alive. Alive? Good. Thank you and Chris.

Get off his dick. All right. Bernard Hill, another actor. No idea. Board of the Rings. Speaking of you being on Megan's dick, it made me think about Hot Boy Summer that's coming up.

Yeah. Hey, listen, I just want to pitch this thing. We were sitting around here and I was looking at a picture of Matt circa 2000 and what? 17. I said, look at you, hot ass Matt. Yeah. And he's like, yeah, times were good back then or something like that. And I was like, you can still be that.

He's been boxing lately. He's looking kind of jacked. And I said, you're a couple steps away from being hot Matt. And I started thinking, I was like, wouldn't it be funny if next summer me and Reed through a draft or like the flip of a coin? are responsible for turning you, and you might be hot right now, Makin, I don't know, you're a mustache away. None taken to your saying that you and Reed are the hot ones.

No, I'm not saying for the hot ones, but I don't want to get a spray tan. No, that's fine. I'd rather be the one coordinating. I'd rather be the one managing the salary cap. And what we would do is have a contest to see who'd get the other person hotter. It's going to be Matt versus Makin.

I like it a lot. And then me and Reed have salary. that we can work with and we have countless beauticians and and sorts of tricks of the trade that we have at our disposal to get you guys hotter are we talking thousands of dollars because I'd like some more hair follicles thinking it's probably like five grand a pop that's tough on the transplant surgery yeah I don't know I'm pretty sure somebody's doing like a backyard thing I think we need to make it 15 if we can get a sponsorship okay if we can get a sponsor ship okay if we can get a

You can get someone, you want to do the hair follicle thing? Yeah. Like, I'm pretty sure if you, like, if you just pitch it to somebody, you can probably get flown out and they just videotape the whole thing for marketing. You don't want that to happen? I guess not. But if I'm doing it for vanity, well, I guess if I'm doing it for vanity, then I would care if it's documented. But I don't think it's that expensive. I'm getting mad as a four figure.

But, like, you would want to go through all that? Like, isn't it that after the fact? like it's like six months of like you have to like be constant like paying attention and well he hasn't gotten the pamphlet yet moisturizing and doing all that have you thought about that or have you thought about I think the one that makes sense is they take it from the back of your head strip harvest I understand all that but you know after the fact like you have to take care of it so that it stays like you know that right like for how long a couple months I think it's yeah month but what do you mean by take care of it like I don't know.

You're going to have patches and blood spots. No, I think you're going to have to wear a hat for a couple weeks. Oh, can do. Yeah. A week. All right. Yeah. Something's something to think about.

Okay, you're in for next summer. I could use the work. Or winter. I can't wait. I have a start right now, dude. I don't really want to talk about it, but I have a non-viable tooth. It's the way they describe it. Yeah.

So maybe I just get all those joints, whitened up. This isn't like you doing all this. dental work you've been putting off. I respect it. I respect it. Then what are we doing here? No, well,

I'm trying to win. Prove how that's hampering your, your hotness. Well, over time, I don't have a tooth that's like a, I mean, Tiger Woods out here with different colored tooth.

We're going to declare a winner by fucking Valentine's Day. How do we declare a winner? Popular vote? Popular vote. Who made the biggest gains of hotness? Right. We need to have a baseline.

You know? Should we have a voting panel or just the mask? Maybe a voting panel. Voting panel. We should probably. Probably be nude, fully nude in the baseline photo. You think?

Yeah. Are you going to do that? I think so. He's got nowhere to improve there, you know? Yo. So wait, you're getting dick lengthening surgery?

I don't, I'm not, I don't, I just, I think we should be thorough. Bro, I'm going to get you the pipes in your tibias. I'm going to get you the fucking, the inside forest gum braces. People are, be six three people who are doing that are nuts like have you seen like the after effect like how people bro think about your legacy you know we talk about legacies and athletics a lot think about

your legacy when you get too much Botox think about your legacy when you get leg lengthening surgery think about your legacy when you make these decisions you know like this stuff everybody in your family and in your personal fucking circle knows you're lengthening your legs dude that that's like you can't get rid of old pictures your dad your dad got surgery to get taller, you pussy. I also should note that Matt is currently playing pick-up hoops in his effort to get into shape and just to feed his love of the game. He looks good.

The other day Matt had, I don't want to hype it up too much, but a line I really enjoyed. I'm also playing hoops and we're in the middle of the game. We're on the same team. And he yells at me, he chirps box out when I had lost a rebound to somebody probably six-foot-six and in, you know, behind me in long rebound. And so we're leaving the gym. I was like, hey, man, when you yelled at me to box out, I was boxing out. And he goes, oh, no, I meant box out better.

And I loved it. I loved it. There's nothing wrong with my tooth, really. It's just not responding to a cold test. It's fine. It's not like weird or anything. Yeah, so we don't need to fix that. Well.

Whoa. What would you get fixed to get hotter? You know, like, hey, this is me at the combine. If we draft you, what are you willing to do? I never feel better than about Wednesday night at 9 o'clock when pickup hoops is over. I think I need to exercise. I think exercise would be a big help. Okay, exercise.

But I don't know where to, I don't know where that time's coming from. It probably should be coming from the morning. If I could just become a 530 person. Oh, come on. You're the one always bringing up your eyes. Oh, my under eyes? Yeah. Oh, for sure.

That's a place. What do you think I meant? Well, I don't know. Oh, come on. No, you're right. You're the one always bringing up your under eyes. I'm the one saying I don't notice it. And they're not bags.

Here's your chance to get plastic surgery. Some people have bags. These aren't bags. It's just very thin skin under there. Yeah. So if we can like apply some cream or something, that's a hell of an idea. Just go on TikTok. They probably have plenty of videos that show you get,

how to get rid of those. I'm sure now that we've discussed it out loud, that's the only ads I'll be getting for the next two weeks. Very true. All right, just to finish, we had Bernard Hill. Nate already gave in his answer.

Don't repeat it. Bernard Hill, dead or alive. I'll go opposite to Nate. Okay. And I will go with Nate and opposite of Chris. Okay. Your final answer is...

Whatever the opposite of what he said. Okay. What is your answer? How are you allowing that? With Nate, the opposite of Chris. Okay. All right. So Alive, okay, Makin and Nate both get it. Woo-hoo! Nice.

Yeah. Makin, you've just taken the lead. Yeah, hell yeah. Hey, man. You should pick me. That's right around the corner. That's what I'm saying, dude. Yeah.

You're a mustache away, dude. Yeah. Look at that guy. Man. Yeah. Is that the cavalier mustache? Looks like a Patagonia model. Yeah.

You look like the cavalier? Yeah, a little bit. Yeah. Yeah. Yep. Great. What about this? Like, what's like?

Yep, let me get you to there. Yeah. Like, but his wife doesn't think he looks hot with the facial. She hates it. Oh, she. Oh, man. I'd like the mansplain that issue. I don't know who took this picture, but this is an interesting picture that was taken to me with a full beard.

I don't know who took that picture. That needs, hero shot. It just needs to be shaped up. Yeah. That's a Kyle Long South Beach. Do you go to sports cut? No, moxie Moxie hair lounge

Moxie, my girl goes to Moxie Yeah All right, Matt All right Three more Dabney Coleman Come on, dude Or live

Who the fuck is Daveny Coleman A lot Is it actor You guys don't know Dapney Coleman Google him I don't know Don't Google him

Because then you'll see the damn Dude I don't know Who actors I don't know actors This pick I know them in the old Don't do it back Hold on

Yeah Yeah All right I'll read you off some of his filmography. He's cheating. No, he's still looking at Hell Nunley. Pig play.

You would know him from You've Got Mail. Beverly Hillbillies. He's dead. I too think he's dead. Sorry. And you said alive? Yep. Yeah, he's dead.

Because Cowboy said, don't Google it, because then you'll see the, and I read into that a bit. well the ants yeah that Beverly Hillbillies is a show from like you know the seven just yeah it was like basically segregation times all right Gary Rossington dude these are not real people that's the original guitarist from Leonard Skinner I don't know everybody's name was he in the plane crash no he was not he's alive okay he gave it away again how did I think he's alive he wasn't on the plane Okay.

Yeah. All right. It's like alive, alive. I know how time works. Oh, he's excited. Maybe he's dead. Dead. Yeah, Nate gets.

He's probably dead. He's probably dead. All right. Last one. What's the score? You shouldn't tell me. You shouldn't tell me. You shouldn't tell me.

Because I'm just going to do whatever he'd. Don't tell me. Let's go. Alan Orkin. You know who that is, right? No. Or we don't know who it is? No.

We don't know. not from just show me his face Alan Arkin Oh yeah I like Alan Arkin Yeah you know Alan Arkin He's alive I don't look until he zooms in God all these fucking guys look like they could be dead

They all look the same I think he just Died these little Jerry Cartanian looking motherfuckers He's got all these Jerry Tarkanian looking motherfuckers up here And hey I think he's alive You gotta go alive to try to

try to get to me. I'm saying dead. Is this little miss. Funshyne? Nate, would you say? Yeah. Dead or live? Alan Arkin. What did they say? I said dead, I think. I said alive. I'm going to live. Macon. He's dead. Jesus. Thank God, Alan.

What? Thank God. Final tally. Yeah, it was a tally. Macon Ed 9, Chris had 7, Neathead 6. All right. You had to go up to me. Yeah, yeah, good effort. Gigi, guys. All right, I wanted to look back at some history. So pro teams, oftentimes, like a new expansion team or a team that's changing their name,

will go through the process of, like, putting names out there and maybe sometimes letting the fans vote. So I wanted to look back at some of these and see if the team got it right, or if you think they should have gone with one of the other options. Love it. The Washington Bullets, this is one I remember. I actually submitted a name to the Washington Bullets. Post as part of this fan contest in 1997. They were down to the dragons,

the express, the stallions, the sea dogs, or the wizards. Did they get it right? They got it wrong. As in Wizards was the choice. Yeah, that's, that's in 97 is when they changed over. What did you submit?

It was some, I think I voted for. Monuments. It just doesn't make sense. We allow bullets everywhere. Like bullets are everywhere But they can't be the name of a team You know

They're firing cannons off At the fucking That wasn't one of the options though dog No I know I'm just saying It should have been the bullets Yeah like the clippers are a warship Yeah that probably killed a lot of people Miami hurricanes dude

You don't think hurricanes kill a lot of people Portland sea dogs have enough Cache that I think of those guys I'm going to go with the dragons, dude. Wizards was probably the worst choice. It would be real popular now with dragons. I was the dragons, all that. Yeah, you're right.

They only, it had been lit. They only checked with whoever that guys. Cleveland Indians after changed their name to the guardians, but the other options were spiders, buck eyes, defenders, and rockers. Spiders. This is terrible. Spiders is good.

That was a terrible. group of names. Yeah. Spiders is great. And Guardians is terrible. They should have just done spiders. I agree. All right.

When the Browns moved to Baltimore, they changed their name to the Ravens. Other options were Americans, marauders, Bulldogs, Mustangs, and railers. Bro.

They could have been the Baltimore Bulldogs. I don't know, dude. Every single college. Because of the Cleveland Browns thing. and I get it. They may have gotten this one right. The Ravens.

Yeah. Ravens is cool. Ravens. Yeah, yeah. Growl and Poe connection. It's fine. Menacing as. Bulldogs are cool.

They are cool. All right, when the oilers moved from Houston to Tennessee, their options were commanders, fury, pioneers, presidents, tradition, vipers, wolves, and titans. Vipers. Vipers would have been cool, but it's kind of like a movie team. Vipers. It's kind of like an indoor football team name.

It's a dodge boat. But like, yeah, Tennessee Vipers, that sounds kind of redneck, like, and kind of like it's supposed to be. I'm just thinking about merch and jerseys and stuff like that, and I think Vipers is just the way to go.

The alliteration's great. I'm always a big fan of alliteration, so we're good with it, Tennessee Titans. I'm good with it. All right, Raptors, expansion team in 1995. Oh, boy. They had a fan vote, which was right around the time that Jurassic Park. was at its most popular so they were down to the beavers bobcats dragons grizzlies hogs

raptors scorpions teorex tarantulas terriers or towers really some really nice oddrics could have been the hogs the toronto t rex everybody should be the hogs can't be a hog be a beaver break out there but raptors it was all about the angle with that picture by the way i haven't seen it oh my god it was just all angle. Anybody can take that picture. 69 guys. Okay.

All right. So the, no, no, I did, I, beavers, bobcats,

dragons, dragons. Everybody's the dragins. I tried to make the NHL team in Colorado. Unleash the dragon. I like raptors.

I like raptors. It's the other one that got right. Some Cisco. All right. When the Charlotte Hornets moved to New Orleans, they then changed. their name. They were deciding

between pelicans, roojeru, mosquitoes, swamp dogs, or bull sharks. This is the war, like... What's a swamp dog? Well, and the roosuru is a monster from Cajun folklore. What's a swamp dog? Is that like a

code name for something? Or just like a dog that lives in a swamp? I really don't know. But maybe if that's, has some type of whole meaning. It's just they had no good options. I've tried to think about what they should have named the pelicans you know because it feels like it's got to be regional right they're very it's a very proud region but there's just not a lot of great branding available don't

mosquitoes kill more people than exactly more than bullets yeah any team names having to do with turtles terrapins oh yeah they did make that sound cool it was oh wow what do you read it i can't see it Miami Heat came down to the heat and Miami Vice. That would have been a little much. Right at the time that show was quite popular. Make a team name out of like, make a city team name out of, out of an available phrase,

Cleveland Steamer. Or Boston systemic racism. Yeah. I like that. Got a couple of. Jaguars are down to four. They were between the Jaguars, sharks, stingrays, and Panthers,

which was eventually chosen by Carolina. But were that, the raid. New Orleans buskers. Yeah. Sting rays. You know? There's a lot of buskers down there. Yeah.

They're very talented. The ones that spray paint themselves silver, like the tin man and stand completely still like a statue, and then fucking scare the shit out of you. Or the ones on stilts that, act like trees they're pretty creepy like geriosa you see those guys walking on stilts and terriosa no by the way it's a great movie excellent i think the jaguars got it right you got two more Houston Texans 2002 were down to five the apollos the bobcats the stallions the texans

or the wildcatters so we almost were the stallions in st louis supposedly that was like one of the, I don't, there'd have been lit for Megastow. Wild catters? Yeah, yeah, that would have eventually been worked out well. Wild catters? Yeah, that's my pick too. I think they missed on that one.

Is that a thing, though? A wild catter, yeah. A wild catter. A catter? It's somebody who, like, wringles wild cats. Wow. Like big cats or any type of cat? This would be a human mascot.

But there would be a lot of what, there would be a lot of like, what does it mean? This says a prospector who sinks exploratory oil wells is a wildcalf. Or someone. Regal's wildcast. Oh, my God. Well, that does make more sense. That's so funny. That's so funny.

Hey, bro. You guys love it when I don't know something. No, kids rarely don't know something. Oklahoma City Thunder. Oh yeah, this wildcatters is a big old drill. They should have gone with that. All right, two more. Oklahoma City Thunder, obviously moved from Seattle to the OKC in 2008.

They were down to the bison, the wind, the barons, the thunder, the marshals, or the energy. Oklahoma City energy. There's literally a company. Probably. Yeah. People had a trademark issue. I got bison. Yeah.

I think that bison are one of the coolest, the bills and the sabers, even though they're- How do you even market energy? Like, what do you do? Like, what would be on your jersey? The mascot would be like a fucking plug. Like, a plug that did like, your cell phone battery with the green all the way up. That would have been so stupid. Can you imagine...

Pump the crowd up. Can you imagine the battery going though? Red, yellow, green. Yeah. Solar energy night and fucking... Oh, can you imagine the Oklahoma City wind how bad the game day experience would have been? Ooh.

It's just blowing fans. Just blowing fans. Sucks. Who the fuck comes up with these? Wow. matter. They just spray you with oil. Everybody pretend like you're a wildcat. You're going to get wrangled.

I got to wrangle this oil. I got to wrangle this oil. I'm a prospector from down Houston way. All right. Last one. No offense to Kevin Clark, but I think the Orlando Magic have a bad name. Oh. And they were down to the magic, the juice, OJ, tropics, or the heat. I'm a big fan of the tropics. Yeah. You know?

Yeah, semi-pro, so tropics is cool. I really don't hate magic because their uniforms can be dope. But they've just, they've gone awry. Yeah, they've been bad. You go back to Shaq and Penny. You know that the magic, I just want to put that out there, has nothing to do with Disney. And people think it has something to do with Disney.

See, I just thought it was a weird name. I do think their Jersey logo sponsor is Disney. Yeah, that might be true. But the reason why they picked the name the magic. Yeah. What were the Washington Nationals supposed to be? Okay. So it was actually down to two at the end between the grays and the nationals,

but the original list included the senators, which had left in 67 to go to Montreal, the gridlock. Oh, my God, dude. The monuments. The gridlocks? Gridlocks. Monuments. There was a focus group.

A bunch of people took checks home in these situations. I guess incredible to me dude I actually think the gridlocks is all right it's a funny political yeah I guess it would be funny but like I just think about traffic yeah yeah that's you know

the grid locks before we do price right can I give you guys a riddle see if you get sure of course all right what's a three letter word that starts with gas gas

no no that is correct okay starts with gas okay say it again what's a three letter word who that also works that starts with gas

two letters and poo P and O really? Whoa you're serious? Whoa technically the O is used twice but it's how many total letters are used though

three I guess well, two. I see what you're saying. All right. Did he get it right? No. Okay. Say it again. One more time. Three letter words that starts with gas. Car.

You got it. But poo works too. Pooh and gas both work. Yeah. You think there are three letters in poo? Yes. What are they? P-O-O.

There's three letters. How many letters are in your name? Five. M-A-C-O-N. Oh, it actually works. It's pretty important. How many letters are in Matt Kingston's last name? So basically, you're going to contend that you would answer the question based on... Seven.

Yeah. All right, we can go to prices right. Price is right. Just to determine order. What are the rules? So you have to be closest to the number without going over And we're going in order First person go

Okay roundabout so I'm thinking of a number one to ten Seven seven Is this price is right? No no this is not price right This is determining order okay determining what who goes first Who goes first seven four Twelve All right you guys are laughing because I don't want to go first It's not good to go first in his game

Oh. That was brilliant. No. That was brilliant. But it has to be it within the range. That's good. I think he just, he gets it. He does get it.

He does get it. I don't think he, I think he was being, he was being. Number was five. So I win. And we're, we're going to go to your right. So making Nate Chris.

Oh, damn, Nate. You got to go second. But I don't have to go first. On the first one. I'll get warmed up going last. First item. A Wilson 14-inch A-2000 Super Skin Series

Slow-pitch softball glove. A softball glove? Is that what you're asking me? Yes. Okay. I wouldn't know. I don't have a glove. Reed gives me a glove every week. 5999. Okay. Uh, Nate.

4775. 4774. Oh. That's a bad pig. That's, uh, you did, you pulled a me. And, uh, making gets it. Yeah. It is $299.99.99.

What? Wow. For a softball glove? Yep. Wow. Good thing you don't get your own. Exactly. Right.

Wow. If you're going to go lower than the lowest bit, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. Yeah, you're right. Yeah. No, no, no, no, no, no, no. No. You don't think you can beat me? Fair and square?

You don't get it. You just don't get it. I just don't play games. That's your problem, Nate. You play too many games. You're a game player, bro. I play the game of life. You're out here playing Flip Cup and 21 and whatever this is.

Your man playing Flip Cup. Go to her bad. Oh, man. I'm terrible in Clip Cup. I wish you could have been there. Meg, I showed Meg. She was like, that was never your thing. Oh, he did.

He forgot to flip it. Yeah. Oh, yeah. In the video, you can hear Nate and I, he puts the cup down. you can hear Nate and I yell, flip it, flip it. Item number two, bullet Bill Dudley's contract with the Lions for the year, for 1947, his year salary for that season, starting with Nate. Since these guys don't know how to play $1.

All right. Chris. For a year? For that season, the 1947 football season. How much you to get $250? $250. Uh, making. $251.

Making gets it, it's $20,000. Oh, good for Bill. Yeah, dude. Holy shit. 20 grand. King's ransom. Wow. You would love the, you know, like the white house for the cowboys,

a 1940s brothel. You would love that. Yeah, whatever. Hey. Harry, smelly. All right, we got it. No. But you know how you're an anglophile.

You wish you lived in World War I times or World War II times. No argument. 200 large in 1947 is 2.8 million today. Wait, 200,000. 20,000. Say it again. So it's actually $280,000. Yeah.

Because you just... It was 20,000. You said 200 large. Okay. I'm going to delete a zero. Yeah. All you have to do is just... Y'all are on it.

You're on it. By the way, I'm up to-in-up here. I was going to say, leading off. All right. Nate, you don't know how to play a game? To Chris. Item number three, a gallon jug of Mick Jordan barbecue sauce. What?

Christ. A gallon barredgeus sauce. A gallon jug of Mick Jordan barbecue sauce. Nick Jordan barbecue sauce. Can I look it up? No. No. Hold on.

I'm going to start the bidding at $699. Okay This is Michael Jordan Yeah I mean like people Jordan's not selling cheap barbecue sauce This is This image

Uh huh It's McDonald's yes Mc Jordan Oh okay oh never mind It's a McDonald's No no no you're a back bro What did he say Well now they get to know it's at McDonald's

We have never showed somebody Where something is all right read that's fair that's fair let them do the thing read no that's fair let them do the thing

re oh man I don't care about losing a point either but just in the future do me a favor and don't give two thirds of the players

advantages that one third of the player is that the thing what's your pick I was pulling it up before you pick another word that's what she said

oh uh 799 799 7.99 7.9 cents all right make it yeah

That's hilarious. You're so funny. What was his original answer? I don't remember. 6999. I thought Jordan was selling barbecue sauce like craft barbecue sauce now. That's what I thought too.

Right? Yeah. It's a different ball game. That was a vintage picture of barbecue sauce. Still, that's a lot of barbecue sauce. Oh, what is? Oh my God. What?

What? What? So this is now a collector's item? Yes. you're kind of giving some info that the person didn't have doing that thing again though $200. I'm not going to tell you. You picked $7.99.

I'm going to say $10. Uh, Makin, you win. Woo-hoo. $8,49. Gee, I'm surprised McDonald's is selling $8,000 bottles of a fucking McGeordan barbecue sauce. Oh, they're not selling it out to McDonald's. Did you guys know that before you answered? I agree.

This is like a member-bri- I actually agree with Chris on this. Because when you say Wilson's- Love, it's like in the, you know what I mean? You just got to say if it's currently being sold or if it's- No, he did the Wilson thing. That was done the right way. But like, I don't like that.

If you're saying that. All right, here you go. Here you go. Memorabilia. This is a memorabilia piece. Okay, there we go. Memorabilia. Pete Rose. I'm sorry I shot JFK signed baseball. He wrote that on a baseball, then signed his name. I'm sorry. I shot JFK. Pete Rose. Who's up? How much is that going for? It is making. Okay. A memorabilia piece. My answer is $22,000. Okay. I'm going to say $37,55. Okay.

37,557. No one wins. Yes. That was a dollar spot. What do you mean? Like where you were. We were all world. Yeah.

It's so fine. It's $100 or $107. I don't believe you. Because I'll buy it right now for $200. and a heartbeat. Next one. No, yeah,

next one. That to me is, that's the deal of a century. 159. Can you buy it? He wrote D.FK. That's the problem. Can you buy it?

Is this for sale? Seems to be. Buy it right now. Like, I just want that baseball. Got you. Is it notarized? Like,

is it definitely his? signature? Yeah. I mean, you just signed so much shit. We're going to have a... I'm sorry I shot JFK baseball signed by some guy in New Jersey. Well, that...

All right. If D.P. Rose in the white baseball cap signed that fucking baseball. We just got the steel of a century. That's Brady in the fucking whatever round it was. Item number five. Steve Young's 1919. contract value for that season.

What year? 1993. It's me. Whoa! You just said 95! 1993, Steve Young contract value. And it is Nate.

I'm going to say 2.2 million. Is it me? Yeah. Okay. I'm going to say 5 mil. Oh! That's what I wrote down. I'm going to say 5 million

$1. Making Gets. $8,250,000. All right. So he's running away with it. Run away. You want to tell him, you want to give him the item code on the next one?

Yeah. The link in all. Full swing pro golf simulator, item number six, that you can buy today and put in your house, non-memorabilia, not signed, buy it today, put in your house. Chris, you're up first.

making 2499 99 how many letters in that 24,000 no sorry 2,499 in 99 got it's okay I got this

I got this and it just a like a net yeah but it's also like they take it like to different courses and stuff Yeah, that is. What did it make it say?

$2,500. I'm going to say $2,500. Chris, on the board, it's $54,900. Jesus. Yeah, those things are expensive. Yikes. I liked your bid, though, Nate. These golf guys are like addicts, bro.

All they want to do is play. Yeah, they just want to play golf. NBA Jam, Shack Edition 19. NBA Jam, Shaq Edition, Arcade with Lit Marquis. This is an item you can still play it, though. What's the console? Like an arcade. Yeah, yeah.

Who was it on? Macon's up. Oh, dear. Sorry. It's in good shape? Yes. Is it in good shape? Yes.

Okay. $5,995. Damn. I'm going to say $3,700. Chris? I am going to say $4,000. $599. Oh, it's one of those cheapo best buy ones?

Do you know what arcade games go for? Like legit arcade games? Like they're like $3,700. Yeah, like $3,700. That was going to be my guess initially. Like, as I looked at some of these NBA Jam, I've looked at them. I actually, I have a dude, I have a dude, I have a dude into, do you want an NBA Jam? I have a dude in crowd who gets like, he, that's what he, that's what he, he, he, he, he, he, he,

He buys those broken, fixes them and then resell them. So we have a San Francisco rush with the sit-in like one-on-one. So there's two sit-ins with the wheels. It's in kind of busted shape. It fucking works. Yeah.

And I was looking at those and I was looking at NBA Jam and some of that stuff and it can get expensive. But you can get the little Pac-Man's now at Best Buy. Oh, no, yeah, for like 100 bucks. Item number eight, Kurt Schillings. Let's see how clear.

I'll be clear. Kurt Schilling's Bloody Sock from the 2004 ALCS. Actual, what the last, what it went for? When did it last go for? Good question. You're just pressing him now. I think he's handling this game excellently. 2013 is when it was when it was auctioned off.

The price in 2013. So nine years. Oh, it's me? Yeah. Sorry. That'd be 11 years, my friend. it would be 11 years 2004 to 2013

oh I was doing $200,000 $200,000 no my bad $200,000 all right my bad my bad my bad making $125,000 $1 $8 on the board

$92,000 $613 damn $92,613 that's the bloody sock yeah oh oh man you'd pay 92 for it yeah

all right there's not one fucking single piece of memorabilia how much would you spend 90s of Thomas Jefferson memorabilia thousand dollars you guys are like what's the most you've ever spent

on memorabilia I did spend a $70 $12,000 for one of Mr. Jefferson's teeth no you didn't wait are you being serious right now no that would go

that would go for way more than $12,000 all right item they were wooden right I just sort of yeah I think that's Washington Shane Gillis told us

Washington's were all sorts of things Item nine Kobe Bryant's game worn 2007 2008 Lakers jersey how much is it going for auction Okay

say it again say it again Kobe Bryant's game wore in 2007, 2008 Lakers jersey. Is it one in the finals or anything? Or just like... No, season jersey. Yep. It's me again? I start all these?

One and every three turn. I haven't been last in a minute. One and every three turns. It's been correct. Yeah, it's his MVP's in Jersey. They did skip beat. Go first, but I... Yes, thank you. Thank you, Nate. Jesus.

but it's not my duty to say it. $77,000. I'm going to say Kobe Bryant now. I'm going to say $1,400. What are we? Oh. Like, what are you doing?

It's a clown show there, man. The guy's right of this game. It's a clown show. Matt was like, it has been correct. I'm just doing the math. I'm just doing the math of my head here, okay? Kurt Schilling 92. Yeah, no, no, no, I hear that.

I hear that. And you said 70. 7. 77. I'm going to go 65,000. I think I just won. You did win. It's 5.8 million.

Bro, the sock is 90? Well, is there something about this jersey you're not telling us? Kobe's now deceased. I know. I think that affected. We didn't ask when it was sold. When was that sold? It's on right now.

5.2 million dollars? I thought this was old. I didn't know. It's up to that. Has it sold yet? Or that's what it just sold for? That's what it hasn't sold yet. The bids are up to...

Oh, people, someone's not going to pay that. There's people fucking around online. I don't think you can put it in a $5 million without, like, credit. Trust you? People do it. Yeah. Just don't pay it.

So you think that they are... No, it happens in auctions and stuff, bro. No, I understand that. I mean, I've had some charity auctions where somebody didn't pay. I'm like, you're going to hell. I mean, we'll find that $5,000. You're going to hell, buddy. You made a promise and you leave.

Then you can't get a hold of you? You just raise your hand as a status symbol. Oh, man. Use my party as a fucking... Damn. That's diabolical. You look good in it. I think sometimes people get really drunk, though, too.

Hell yet, bro. It's fun. you, hey! But also, if you don't think you're going to win, that's what it sucks. If you put your hand up like, oh, I'm not going to win. And then no one puts the bid after.

I've won a couple auction items at the Boys and Girls Club that I have never used where I was like the bid driver, you know, and my mom was like, yeah, yeah, yeah. And I'll be like, yeah, I'll fucking, I'd love to go to Normandy. And guess what? 10 years later, I have never been to Normandy. It'd be great if you cash in on it.

There's a big house in there. You just say, hey, I won this 10 years ago. Yeah, if you don't want cash, I'll go take content for you, all those places. Okay, I'll review them for you, go. It'll let you know if you should go or not. What if you do like the people that walk out on the bed and you just go and don't do any content? I wouldn't do you like that. I know, I know.

Because you're doing content anyways. Win, win. Uh-huh. All right. Next one. Nate, you're up. Oh, good to know that's possible. Perception Peskador Pro 12-foot kayaker.

Oh, get yourself with perception. Okay. So is it a fishing kayak? It is a fishing kayak. It's very similar to the one you just purchased and the one that Nate Rodden. That's fair. That's fair. I hope we're going to do a country club membership too.

I'm going to say. $1,3,375. Okay. Chris? $1,500. All right. Making. $1,500 in one cent.

Nobody. $1,09. So is it a fishing kayak or is it a closed? No, no, no. It's sit on top. Let's go to the next. Yeah, yeah. You said the answer.

No, I'm just curious. Just listen to me. Uh, I do. this is a hey this is another kayak one no no no this is another kayak one adult NRS

Chinook fishing PFD Fishing Coyette No personal yeah FFD yeah yeah what's a PFD

personal flotation device This is wait wait wait wait this is a kayak Just go to the next one Here I'm ready It's a life save Yeah he doesn't need to be asking you questions

I don't have time for that shit So what's the year? Do you want that one? Yeah, I'll take that one. I'm going first, right? Yeah, you're going first. Okay. 3999. 129.99. Okay.

Nate? 130. Nate wins. It's 159.99. God damn. What kind of fucking life jacket is that? Good guess by me. Good guess. You tell I don't shop for a lot of life jacket. John Elway's

1998 contract value 1998 Oh shit We just did this Kind of Difference of five years From that last one 13.2 million dollars

18.3 million 13 million Everyone's over Should have a dollar dog I should have done a dollar Man He don't know to play the game 4.8

Nobody cares Nate We're making a content You know Always nobody cared. But I mean, like, that's it. Here's your thing. You're supposed to scream $1. Here's your thing.

I'm just trying to help you still you learn it, bro. I don't need your help. Here's what I need. Here's what I need. I need you to give up the quest for me to give a fuck as much as you want me to. Like, because the only time I care is when I'm sitting here arguing with you. But bro, I'm going to, I'm going to chirp you about it all the time. And I'm going to tell you I don't give a fuck.

So get used to that. Like, I don't know how to play this game. I'm probably fucking. it up again. Try to give people July 5th content. Nobody cares. Hey, why are you getting trounce by the real estate agent? I mean, he's the numbers guy.

Broncos got Elway on a good deal, huh? For a Super Bowl season? That was in between a couple $8 million season. Oh, you sneaky little fuck. Low. All right. We're going to end with three contracts. Okay.

Willett Chamberlain's 1968 $1. It's Nate, it's Nate. Okay. How many points can Nate score with this one? Megan score one point.

I think he's out of it. What year? 1968. Wilt the Stilt. I'm going to say $300,000. Chris? set that bar for you it's it's it's it's closer to 550

mm okay damn making one dollar making wins what two racism dude 250,000 dollars race is yes Nate nice guess wait so what uh let's see hold on let's see what night two bullet bill Dudley was making as much as fucking willt chamberlain bullet bill he was uh 20 oh he was 20 yeah 20 great you had 200,000 Tony Romo his 10 year commenter contract with CBS total value over 10 years total value who's up uh you're up 140 mil

170 million I think you might be right one dollar read Megan's right it's 180 Yeah Woohoo I don't know Jim

What if those Broadcasters Started renegotiating their contracts Like like Like wide receivers Yeah We're talking about Tyree Kill

What's the score Megan's running away with it Last one has to be worth seven points So everyone's in it We'll do two more Hey let's vote on it You guys go ahead

And cast your votes You vote yes I vote against. Okay, you vote for? Yes. I vote against. Jackie Robinson's first contract with the Brooklyn Dodgers, one season. In 47, oh, this place was so racist.

He probably had to pay to play for the Dodgers in 47. Who's at all? It's on making. Yep. Jackie Robinson. $20,000. Nate? I'm going to say,

$21,000. I'm going to say $1. Hey. Hey. You got it. It's $5,000. Nice. You bitches.

You don't know the game? You're talking about? Who are you talking about? All right. This last one, a 2016 Chris Long game worn an unwashed Patriots jersey. Unwashed.

Yum. What did it sell for? Well, it depends on the game. Some games I wasn't sweating so much. much. What game was it? I don't know if it says the game. Doesn't matter.

Nate's up. Nate's up. $879. Is it me? Yep. $200. Was it signed? Uh, not signed.

$200. I don't know. $211? Uh, Nate gets it. $1,980. Nice, dude. Nice. Throw up the O.

Pat's fans, man. Nice. Yeah, I love them. They love me. Yeah. They do. Some of them really do. What's not to love?

You know, criminal justice reforming stances. Not wanting to go meet the orange man, I guess, at his house. I don't know. You know, the fact that I left in free agency. Yeah. All right. Okay. All right.

Got it. They just don't like the cut of my jib. You know what I mean? There's some regional, cultural differences. But I enjoyed my time, and I really enjoy meeting Pat's fans out in about. And they enjoy fucking order in my jersey. So it's a symbiotic relationship. They might just like the stinky, unwashed.

Yeah. Oh, this must have been his first half of the Super Bowl jersey. I don't smell anything. Macon was in the wrong seat. I was in session 652, which is. just right about 552 alone well no lovely couple from Maine they were older yeah how'd you find your seat how'd you when do you realize uh third quarter when it started turn around uh yeah uh I got a text from biscuit he was like where are you are you good at the game like yeah I'm good

wear your seats 100 feet below our final tally if you want it sure seven for making three for Nate two for Chris. What a day. If only some of these Wimbledon ladies singles players could be coming through for me, you know what I'm saying? I did see you make a face earlier, like a little disappointing. Frickin Potipova lost in a third set breaker.

Damn. Yeah. Chris still has two, I think this is the third time we played this and you've won the first two. Oh damn, I won the first two? Not knowing the rules? Not knowing the rules.

Imagine if you knew the rules. You know, and see, I didn't even know that because if you knew the rule. finish the sentence, I don't care about this game. I bet Nate knew it. I bet he's got a fucking little voodoo doll at the house, a little Bob Barker voodoo doll. This is Chris.

Pricking me. Thinking about trying to beat me. You finally beat me. Why would I have a voodoo doll on you, bro? Because you love games. You're a game playing. I didn't know we were even playing this. You just show up and play your gamer.

Show up. Do you have any mailbags? I'm going to rip a mailbag. you. What is the worst place you've ever had to shit? Not gonna lie. One time I was younger and I rushed home from school, like had to take a shit so bad and we had like a tricky like screen door that like the lock. It worked but like it didn't work and me rushing trying to get it open. I couldn't get it open and like I took a shit like on the side of my house at the time like thinking I was like locked out and it was the worst it was the worst shit on the side of his own house it was the worst

thing ever because for one i was doing like a fucking wall sit and that is it starts to burn take your pants all the way off you say again you take your pants all the way off a common mistake no yeah but like also you're thinking about but bro like you're thinking about being pantless outside versus like being able to pull it up if you see someone coming so bro i was like 13 bro. When you're committed, there's no stop at that train. I guess. Imagine like thinking you can just John Wicke it like mid shit because somebody pulls in the driveway. You just got to go. And if somebody rolls up, eye contact is their problem. Here's the worst. Here's the worst thing about it. You know what I mean? Here's the worst thing about it. There's something primal going on in this yard.

Bro, here's the worst thing. Here's the worst thing about it. Yeah. I was panicking and like the door like like the key and it wasn't It was working, no. It was just that like I was rushing home. I was like trying to get the key in there and I was like, oh my God, it's not working. I fucking did that. I shit in Mike Chalfin's pool. He's a kid I grew up with. And that was a mistake. Like you thought you were farting? I was young. You know, I just learned how to swim. It was like early swimming days. And I just, for some reason, something happened where it had to, and we had a code brown. And what I did is I kind of just looked at it and then exited the pool what everybody else did didn't say a word to anybody because i was embarrassed so next time i'm coming over to the house we're in the hot tub

with mike troffin's dad and he's like something came up about the pool and i'd tell this bullshit story that i saw the dog poop in the pool once because that's who i was i was working on my alibi and he goes i know someone who pooed in the pool just staring at you yeah dude i'll never forget that bro. What's the most traumatic experience? That's just like so unnecessary. How old were you? 11, 13.

No, this is Beach Week. Are you serious? No. I just learned to swim. You know, it was like these were the early days. I also wrote this down. There was, there's a coach in the NFL. He's a bit of a legend in my book because I'm not sure

this is true or not, but I have it on good authority that there's a special teams coach in the NFL, not a coach to coach me. You used to walk on the treadmill and shit his pants willingly because he just didn't want to get off the treadmill. Yeah, I don't know if he wore a diaper or what, but that's going to it's not legend. Don't condone that. No, it's, it's like, he's like Jack the Ripper, the legend of Jack the Ripper. Wrong choice of words. I'm not saying as a legend, like we should celebrate him. But that is brazen. No.

Like, that is no worthy. If you walked in the gym, bro, and you were next to someone on the treadmill and they shit their pants, you would be like, get the fuck out. No question. But I'm also kind of like interested in that person. Like, I've kind of, I'd like to study that person. No, you wouldn't. Bro, yes. I want to know what sociopathic gene that person has.

Oh, my God. We need to study that person. Whoa. Why do they think that's appropriate? Marathon runners do it. Right? All the time. Yeah, it's,

I'm surprised at how much they do it. Moms have to shit all the time with their babies. You never think about that. But when you, you know what I mean? No, what? If a mom's like in a public place

and she's got to take a dump, what does she do? Take the baby into the stall. In the stall. Yeah. They have to shit with their babies. Yeah. That's a really traumatic experience for a baby.

Is it? Yeah, dude. Don't have shit all the time. You've done that with your kids. I don't have into a stall. I think I have, but in the men's room generally there's, you know. Right. Usually just leave them in a hot car.

That's a joke. I turn the AC on and say, hey, don't pull it out. Oh, man. I'm joking. Did you guys do that when you were younger? Did you guys like steal your, like, your parents car like in like joy ride like yeah one time we rolled a buddy's car down the hill i think that's the crazy i don't know why i think that's the craziest thing ever very suburban

thing maybe i was also a lot of kids that aren't getting their asses kicked yeah like maybe i was too scared of my mom but i never stole my dad's car i'll put it that way but if somebody else stole their parents car that's between them and their parents you're you're you're taking you're taking the car like before you know before you have your license yeah i mean like there were i were i were i were i've We got pulled over. There were three, four, 15 and 14-year-olds at 1 a.m. on Interstate 64. The guy kind of ran a stop sign, whatever that meant at the time, because nobody had passed anything. It was very dangerous.

We got pulled over. And it was bad. Fucking-in-old your parents? Oh, drove us all home. Oh, okay. Drove us all home. We were like a mile from the house. And so cops knock on the door, banging on the door.

fucking then they open the door the alarm goes off and fucking i'm just my whole life slash me for my eyes and the cops are talking to my parents in the front actually my dad was out of town thank the lord thank the lord it was just my grandfather god rest his soul italian frank edinisi on a bathrobe and he was rushing down the stairs at this point thinking he's got to like defend the house and it's just his idiot grandson so they're all talking in the front hall and in the process I'm like I really got to go to the bathroom I don't feel well

and so I go in the bathroom and I dump the bottle of Bacardi and so really I just got grounded for being at the wrong place wrong time with somebody else hey I didn't want to get in that car it just was whatever I was doing

six months did your grandparents punish you or was that from your parents oh no like it's hard no like if the president is in Paris right for six months The VP doesn't like, you know, they call the president.

And you got grounded for six months, you said? I got grounded for six months at one point. The time I discovered drinking, like discovered, like, kind of what liquor was, I was hanging out with a couple of friends at my house and my mom went out to grab takeout. And for some reason, I thought, I don't know, that it was going to just wear off pretty fast. And she grabbed takeout and ran a couple errands. That's why I thought I had to cover. Oh, she got to stop at Marshalls.

I'll be able to slug some Jack Daniels. And I ended up so fucked up. And my two friends were like, don't say a word. Don't say a word. When she walked in, we're all sitting at the table. And she brought home like orange chicken or something. And I kept being like, mooshu chicken. And they were like, they were like, shut the fuck up.

And she goes. and she goes Ben Wilson get out of the room or she like why don't you go in the other room and she goes stand the fuck up she goes walk in a straight line and I was like

whoa what you're grabbing me and I start to walk and I face plant over the fucking open dishwasher and so again dad wasn't home but he was coming home real soon soon and I guess you know pissed myself the whole nine yards I was 13 you know 13 something like yeah

it only comes once in a lifetime and uh end up grounded for six months six months now I think I was out on parole after like four months yeah but like my dad was cool about it because he knows like hey this guy's not going to want to drink anymore that didn't look fun you know woke me up in the morning sat me down talked about I had a ripping hangover and I had no idea what a hangover was i just remember being like i wouldn't go anywhere if i could is this going to last the whole grounding because i can't leave what was the next time you drank after that this is six and a half months later the recidivism in my house you want after parole bro i was but i told you we used to because my parents aren't drinkers like so they'd have

booze for parties so like parents if you have booze for parties keep that shit like really locked up because your kids are smarter than they appear and and uh and uh they also had dropped ceilings down in the guest room like where we'd go down and hang out so you know that they're like the office building ceilings in the little game room and so we'd stack i've told this story before we stack up the fucking bottles up there and the ceiling for three years probably and then i got a call and college and my dad was like I'm like what you up to he's like oh just I'm watching them demo the the the the guest room and we're gonna we're just putting up some new ceilings and I was like I got to go I won't be on the phone for a couple days I'm going camping or something uh and then he the next call

was do you have a problem I said no y'all just this is just like years of work This wasn't like one summer. This is like Shawshank. This is like I'm Andy Dufrain, but I would never steal my dad's car. Okay? No fucking chance. Did any of all,

like refill the liquor bottle? You take some out and refill it. Didn't need to. They did not drink. Yeah. My mom, my mom and dad didn't drink. So like there wasn't really alcohol.

But when I was at my friends, Like, we, me and my homeboy, we stole a bottle. His mom used to get gifted a bottle of crystal from her job every single year. And she had like 15. This is like when Jay-Z and rappers will have it in videos. And so, like, we're like, yeah, like, we should try one. Bro, I remember, like, trying that. And it's literally, it was like the worst tasting taste I've ever had.

Like, to this day. It's all marketing. I was like, four, we were like 14. 15 years old but i just remember but also that's a kind of a like the wrong bottle the wrong bottle to pick because she's definitely going to notice if her crystal no no no no it was one of those things where bro there was like she had some out on display and then like there was like 15 more in a cabinet like got it so like we were like he was like take we were like take that because that's the most of multiple no i remember a bottle of myers rum would last like a month between like

buddies you know what i mean now you'd go through a bottle of myers rum in a couple nights of hard drinking but back then your tolerance was like fuck it was awesome we just get uh diet coke and fucking myers rum and sit up there and watch most extreme elimination challenge till three in the morning and pack dips and just be like comatose like a little like four or five shots over the course of a couple hours and and a fucking and a big lipper a kodiak like you're in the zone bro i've been chasing that buzz ever since was was there ever like uh the most extreme elimination challenge buzz from 1998 what is your favorite bottom tier team to play as in madden saints what what rank are they they're 78 overall they're off what's the lowest the lowest is like the cardinals they're like a 75

Their defense is atrocious. Okay, the Saints are fun because you have a good receiving back. He can get the ball to out of the backfield. So if you play like a team like Philly or a team, and this is for Madden 24, you play a team like, I don't know, Green Bay. The front is really stout. But you want to get those, and they got good corners, good secondary. You want to get those guys out.

You fucking, you flip the formation, get a man's own indicator, and fucking put Camero on a wheel and he'll run right by. Quay Walker. The Texans are 78. Now, Texans have been updated to be like 84. So you're looking at the old one. But Texans are solid. Their uniforms suck in the game.

Like, you know, you can't do any cool unies. Chargers are fun because in that game, it's all about the quarterback. You know? And the Chargers have a Piss Weko line. But they have Keenan Allen, Mike Williams, Eckler out of the backfield. they have all these guys. But the offensive line's not great. So just don't set your shit to short passing.

Because when you set it to short passing, your pocket degrades faster. If you can work around your own line in that game, you can be really good if you got a good quarterback. Do you always have to set your game plan? You got to set your game plan, which is fun. But the only thing that sucks is when you go online head to head, you set your offensive game plan before you see who you're playing.

Yeah. So that kind of sucks. And you can't adjust mid-game? No, well, you can adjust at halftime. Okay. You can do a lot of cool shit on there. A lot of people complain about the gameplay, but, but I'm like, this is what we got. And for me, I just love sitting up there and thinking about football all year.

Like, I get to play in the offseason, and I'm quizzing myself every time I play so that, like, hey, I'm a little plugged in. You know, it's actually a fucking fun game. The new gameplay looks a little erratic, but it's still going to be a lot of fun. The fucking Texans in that game, guessing, all right, guess the roster on Madden in this year, roster rating. Because they're not out yet. 86. Texans? Yeah.

I think they're going to be like an 88. I think they're going to be really good. I mean, 86 is really good. 86 is like what the Eagles were allowed here. Did they make them, they won a playoff game? No, they got beat by Baltimore. It was kind of a buzz saw. They'll be a, they'll be an 81.

Oh, I think I think they're going to be higher, especially because they got better on defense. Right. What's going to be fun about them. They're going to be fun in Madden next year because if you have a really fast, a lot of people in Madden like to, and listen, there's some Madden heads out there. They're like, bro, we know. But I've played now 230 games. And I'm like really into it. If you have a fucking, if you have a fast linebacker, that game, you can control that motherfucker.

and do it like when you think you could be lebron i don't know if he's good is he good have you seen no no but most people sub in like a db to play linebacker if you have a fast linebacker you have a big advantage if you have a back out of the backfield you have a big advantage if you got a quarterback that can make old throws oh the middle linebacker dropping that's exactly it like you could play cover three yep or tampa two you play cover three and have matt milano run down to be the middle of field safety, which you can do in that game. And that's super cool because you can control that guy and give cover two looks and you can play Tampa too. So in Tampa too, like the one thing is you need really fast linebackers like a la Derek Brooks. So like having a rangey linebacker,

you can give the two look and then still get that middle of the field, which is wide open. Guys are going to hit that. So I love that game. It's game so fun. I cannot wait to get home. When my wife's like, how many do you, playing a night. Say like normal night. Off day. Yeah, like yesterday when I and I snuck a couple in. Okay, like my kids were gone for a couple hours and like I played probably two games

and the middle day. Yeah, I played one game. Yesterday I probably played five games. That was a heavy day. But on a normal night I tried to play two games. 10 p.m. I start my first game. If I can force it quit, I'll play three. I'll play two though. You know, the how long is a game like? 40 minutes. That's like me, fishing because the pond that I go to is next to my house. So like a day like today, like,

I told my girl, like, I'll be home at four. I got to go to the store. No, like, I told her I'll be home at four. And like if we get out here, like at 3.15, like, I'm probably going to go and try to catch a couple of fish before. My favorite is playing Wayland. Now he's starting to play and he's eight. And he actually is pretty good. But I said it on like rookie for him and All Madden for me. And it's funny to see him start to learn like when to use the timeouts he'll get so we did he did see him technically beat you the clock will be ticking down no that's the thing like we saw him if i fuck around he can beat me if i fuck around he can beat me like with him last night i ran a two minute drill in like 30 seconds to beat him instead of just letting him win he was so excited too it was so ruthless

but i but but i also don't want him to think it's like playing in the backyard that fucking people are going to let him win. Yeah. What will you know? Like James Wiseman. Like James Wiseman, who just signed a contract. What will you be more, uh, more like what will hit you harder when he beats you in a real Madden game?

No, I love that. That'll be great. Or basketball. Like if he plays you just backyard basketball, probably will hit a little harder because it's like physical and you're, you're just like to me it's a sign. He's not only, that's coming soon. He's practicing.

He's pretty good. He's practicing. the thing about him like he's better than i ever was athletically at that age is he going to be like continue to be that way you know i made a big jump at like 13 14 that's i was going to say i said i was going to give that if he makes the same jump bro i like he's only 70th percentile height wise we found out this week which is a bit of an issue but outside that i got no concerns my man he works hard he he's there's the you know i'm really sucking up to my kids because like he could turn out to be like Kyle's size or something you know and you got two of them

if they end up being really close and be like one day let's jump conspiring again let's let's get his that yeah then that ending day one-on-one goes he gets cut twice and a half yeah oh yeah no I know I fucking and and Luke though is like super aggressive where like he threw an elbow awaylin playing on a little little tight soup yesterday and it was like it was crafty oh he took the wind out of it like waylon was taunting him and Luke whipped his arm around like to box him out and just slugged him and and I'm just like dude we've got a problem on him like he is like his mom little little psycho tea yeah little man's complex give a historical figure a household item from today name one name a historical figure household item uh historical figure uh historical figure

Thomas Jefferson. Oh. Give him something? Yes. In order to do what? Huh? In order of... A copy of the Civil Rights Act.

For what objective? For, like, maybe it'll make his life better. Maybe, like, he'll find it really cool. Like, a planetary... Hair dye. Hair dye. Yeah, because he was a redhead. That's not so cool.

Yeah, but there enough. There's a segment of the population out there where they're... That's their thing. That's their thing. No, I understand. I think guy redheads would tell you they have it harder than girl redheads. Yeah, but I think it does cut both ways. Yeah, sure.

If you're not a rugged-looking guy with red hair, like the guy in Game of Thrones, it's just hard to be down there at the Senate House banging a gavel and, you know, billabustering with red hair. My man's was pretty ragged, though. He's, you know, big six-four jacked guide. Do you think Jefferson could kick my ass? It'd be a good fight. You think?

Kick your ass, but it'd be a good fight. I mean. But the rules, like, the fighting styles would be way different because he would,

like, do this, right? I don't, yeah, he'd probably be all like, I'm gonna give him tour doll. Okay.

He could probably use some. It's my household item. What's his back hurt from carrying around? Thomas? Yeah, nothing. Nothing.

Because he was making people carry it. Well, you know, he really created the Library of Congress, so maybe carrying all those books. He donated, a lot of books to essentially create the Library of Congress. That's a fact.

Jack? Abraham Lincoln. Oh, a fucking helmet or something. You know, like maybe a fucking like a security detail. A chainsaw. He's the one to cut the tree down,

right? Bro, like imagine how bad security was back in the day where you could just walk up to a president and shoot him in the back of the head. and run away for and run away and like he's like in a field somewhere yeah like that's the kind you could shoplift today and you're not getting that far like uh in l.A if it's under 10,000 I suppose I'm just saying yeah you're right yeah you're right I listen and and and I I don't think that's a good thing that you know a shoplift I think there has to be something you know a thousand

Yeah, well, no, no, no, not if I ruled the world. And you know me. But, okay, so, so Abraham Lincoln. But yeah, what the fuck were they doing back there? Literally nothing. Or, yeah, just sitting, chilling. You want to talk about, like, people who had bad protection, like Sam Bradford, nobody had worse protection than Abraham Lincoln.

What might have been had they invested in his O line? it's like a Joe Burrough situation 100% yeah but John Wilkes booth was kind of like on the team

he was inside he was an inside man because he was an actor that was popular at that theater yeah but actors are not getting they're not walking up

back behind you know I'm trying to think of a corollary right now Neil Patrick Harris is he an actor he's an actor yeah

yeah but like just I wouldn't expect it. Okay. But that's your fucking job, dude. Protect the guy in the top hat. Abe Lincoln. Looking up when did the Secret Service start?

Can't tell you that. I can't tell you. He signed What? No way. No way. It says this says that Abraham Lincoln signed the bill creating the secret service on April 14th, 1865, the day of the assassination.

I'll be there. What? Oh, wow. Call's coming from inside the house. No way. They signed it and then they got rid of them. Isn't it ironic? And it also says his bodyguard went missing the night of the assassination.

We're stumbling into some piece of information that many people know. But I cannot believe, be honest out there. You didn't know that. Did you guys know that? I didn't know that. Secret Service, same day. You want to hear something else crazy about history? It's a rough start.

Yeah, that's a pick six. Play one. It's like the start of your Super Bowl with the Broncos. That's Seahawks quarterback. Yeah, see, yeah. Overtime. Oh, yeah, we want the ball and we're going to score. We want to protect the guy in the top hat.

On X this week, there was a frenzy in black Twitter. Yeah. Because supposedly Rosa Parks' husband had a car. okay i don't even want to touch that i don't even want to i don't even want to know i don't know but he probably had to use it yeah he had to get a job

i know there's probably but i don't want to have a take i have no take do you have to be black to be a part of black twitter yes no because i think i would like to contribute yeah Yeah.

I think you would probably be a hitting black thing. Okay. All right. I'm going to give that a shot. I'm going to go looking. I love it. Rosa Parks. Rosa drives.

Rosa rides. Or drives. Mr. Parks drives. Well, he could have blown her the fucking car. He had to get to work. You're right. No, I know. I agree with you.

and I agree with Black Twitter Whatever they're saying And if you don't want me to agree with you I don't have an opinion Black Twitter Hello Guys I changed my mind

But originally I was gonna like some fireworks in here But don't do that Thank you for changing your mind I decided not to But it was for Fourth of July And I thought it'd be good for content How big are the fireworks?

Studio fire. Studio fire. No, I was going to get, I was going to get a cooking pan. I was going to get a cooking pan and just put some of the firecrackers in there like home alone. Thank you for not. I wanted to see. I didn't know making was going to be here. So that's mainly why that I walked in.

Yeah. Yeah. Hey, you know what? That's big of you. But if it was just me and Chris. Yeah. he was going to do it to me I just want to see everyone's reaction here

which I think would have been funny I understand I understand why you would do it most stressful situation as a kid like grocery store you know and like you get left as you can like have a minute that would be pretty fucking stressful

getting stuck in the middle of the monkey bars oh get my finger stuck in like the you know in the back of old trucks suburbans they had like the the jack or something and you could like oh you'd be in the third seat and one time i got my finger stuck in there and i swear to god my dad let me sit in my driveway for two hours instead like like there was a long process of trying to ice it out get the finger wet pull it you know like the whole thing and i was being a little bit of a baby about it but it was it was tough and they just went inside

eventually they just went inside it was night time like I'm done with you yeah like when I used to run away you know I think they were stressed about it but they didn't really come looking wait wait wait what considers run away like I would leave my house I'm like I'm out

and then I'd like run down the street for like a mile or something and I go like hang out down the street and be like they'll be here any minute like with a book bag or you just leaving just raw dog like Well, you would always want to bring something so that they would think maybe that you were gone. That's what I'm saying. And then sometimes I was like, yeah, I'm out. I'm going to go get a fucking job.

I've seen first blood. It's going to be like that. That's hilarious. You know, one time I ran to our tree house right at the top of the driveway. And nobody came. You know, it's like when they call that bluff. Do you think your parents were in the kitchen just like, oh, he's in the tree house? Yeah, laughing.

Yeah, they probably were laughing. But then like, you know, when I went to. down the road, I think maybe they called the neighbors and we're like, let me know how he goes down the road. But just one second, I want to take this back a second. When you started that story and said you got your finger stuck, Reeve goes like this, think you're about to say a Chinese finger trap. No, not a Chinese finger trap, but that could be stressful. I can see how that was.

The first couple times you do it and you're like, hold it, wait a minute. Yeah, wait a minute. Wait a minute. I never seen anything like this. Oh man, see the kids freak out about that would probably be funny. I've broken those before when I was... To get out of them? Yeah, but I wouldn't freak out.

Like, you just rip them apart. Uncomfortable situation. I always thought the urinal was a little uncomfortable because it wasn't at the right height for you as a kid. You had to like aim up. You did. I wish I had thought of that excuse when I was actually only peeing on the floor.

You know? I had a puking problem. problem. Childbirth, like when you were born, that had to be uncomfortable. You know what I mean? Just getting out into the world, C-section or otherwise. I don't know. I was thinking of things that would be uncomfortable. Puking problem. I had a puking problem. Go. Whereby when I was forced to do any sort of public speaking, I would vomit. I remember that. Yeah. Wow. Solid?

Solid? Solid? Chunks? Ah, mostly liquid. You're excused.