Green Light with Chris Long - Joe Thomas! HOF Election & NFL Ironman. Worst Airport Personalities Draft.

Episode Date: February 17, 2023

(3:41) - GL Layup Line Roulette, Beau's Time in Mexico, Chris' WW2 Documentary & Worst Plane Ride (29:23) - Hall of Fame Elect Joe Thomas talks Learning of his NFL HOF Nod from Walter Jones, Career with the Cleveland Browns, Nearly Joining Peyton Manning in Denver, 10,000 Consecutive Snaps, Evolution of Pass Rushers & Hunting & Fishing Tips (1:22:03) - Worst Airport Personalities Draft Green Light Spotify Music: https://open.spotify.com/user/951jyryv2nu6l4iqz9p81him9?si=17c560d10ff04a9b   Spotify Layup Line: https://open.spotify.com/playlist/1olmCMKGMEyWwOKaT1Aah3?si=675d445ddb824c42   Green Light Tube YouTube Channel: https://www.youtube.com/c/GreenLightTube1   Green Light with Chris Long:   Subscribe and enjoy weekly content including podcasts, documentaries, live chats, celebrity interviews and more including hot news items, trending discussions from the NFL, MLB, NHL, NBA, NCAA are just a small part of what we will be sharing with you. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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Next Step. In Colorado, Indiana, New Jersey, and Virginia, call 1-800 gambler. And in Michigan, 1-800-270-1-1-7-1-7-1-7. Tennessee, y'all too, 1-800-8-9. With Vroom, you can shop thousands of cars right. from your phone and have your next ride delivered straight to you. I like to look at the listing on my couch. You know, it's peaceful, I can think.

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We have newly elected Hall of Fame member Joe Thomas. He's going to reveal how he was almost traded from the Cleveland Browns. He's going to talk about the knock on his door about the Hall of Fame from Walter Jones. His career, the 10,000 snap streak playing in Cleveland, losing all the weight and getting in really good shape after retiring, and his favorite pastimes hunting and fishing. We'll kick it off with Bo, Macon, and Chris doing a little Phoenix recap, talking about things that Bo and Macon missed out on. After Joe, stick around because we've got a draft. It's the worst people at airports.

So make sure none of the draft descriptions fit your airport personality. And a reminder, we'll be back on Tuesday with Danny and Dandole and Chris. And then Thursday, we'll have Bo and Nate. A nice little Bo and Nate show. And y'all enjoy yourselves. All right. So this is goodbye, guys. I'm going to Africa.

Tanzania. Oh, Megan's eating. So I'm going to be gone for a while. We've got Danny and Dola coming up on Tuesday. We're switching to two shows. Look for that one. And then Thursday, we'll have another show for you. release Friday though yeah

release Friday no releasing Thursday look at that so that's why you attend the pre-production yeah yeah while the cats away the mice will play guys you guys have fun yeah yeah I think Cat 1 and I're going to host in our own show

yeah yeah I do a nervous for Kelly I'm a little bit nervous bow how are you feeling I'm a little bit nervous it's just been five years you know and when all the other the four other times I've done it I was a pro athlete. So, like, I thought I had that, like, kind of, you know, elite training and I do it right after the season. So I'd be really run down, but also in good shape. We'll see, man. I've

been training. I don't know. You know how it is up there. Poli, polo. I've been talking to my boy, Allie. Allie Marpet. He's going with you. He's asking me a lot of questions. Well, you guys came by and grab some of my gear. Yeah. Jabal Sheard going as well. So we'll be, and I will be able to record a little bit up the mountain. So I'll send you guys some some sound bites and keep you updated interview alley a little bit just be prepared for some soul that's what he likes to say you'll get used to that one yeah we'll be in the mess tent all week so hope you guys you guys stay safe and turn out some good content safe travels player and everybody at home look for us on tuesday with danny amandola all right so we got joe thomas

on today which means we brought on another badger from the family beau allen oh hello Hello, hello, hello. Got Makin in the house? Hello? Make. Joe's coming up in a little bit, but we hadn't done a layup line shuffle in a while. Yeah.

Remember the rules here. We both get three and we each pick one. Is that it? Yeah, and the Cowboy determines which is the actual layup line. Okay, okay. You want to go first? But the fun is really in the journey of seeing what pops up. You know what I'm saying?

Cowboy, you want me to play a little bit of it? but yeah. Love to. And then you usually come over the top. Okay, here we go. First one. Oh, nice. War by Edwin Star.

What the, is that where you got the inspiration for your, that's what I like. Maybe. Yeah, maybe. That's what Tolstoy was originally going to call war in peace. That's right.

Or what is it good for? What is it good for? That's right. All right, second one. Should I stay or should I go? The clash. I'm coming off as an eclectic motherfucker over here.

Okay, keep going. Okay. Here we go. Number three. Bobbing his head. Better man. Damn. Hold on.

By Eric Church. Oh. Live at the Tacoma Dome and Tacoma, Washington. That might be better, Mike. She lies and says she's in love. Can't find a better man. I just hit three. bangers. Have we ever heard three bangers?

Not from you. Not from you. Not from this. Okay. Fuck. I'll think on that. Okay. That's a lot for me to live up to. Angel flying too close to the ground. Willie Nelson. Angel flying too close to the ground. I mean, that's going to be hard to meet. That's a one seed in any fucking

bracket. That sounded great a few months ago when I saw an 89-year-old Willie Nelson. The other stuff, you know, you can tell he's old, but this one, he can still really do. Okay. Oh, walking on a pretty day. Kurt Vile of the War on Drugs, Philadelphia Native. It's a good jam. Some really good guitar in there. Okay. Oh, high speed, cold play. I went on a cold play kick a month ago. With me living life inside a bubble. You can't forget that play is a... No, and this isn't one of their best, but

It's one of the ones that I actually saved. Bo, is it still cool to play Coldplay? Yeah, cold play's in, man. Can I do this roulette? Sure, yeah, go ahead. You guys are having fun. Imagine how the listeners feel. We have fun here.

You got a liked songs and then it's still. Greenlight pod, we have fun here. I got cocaine country dancing. Dude. Paul Coffin. Oh, Paul Coffin. A deep-ass voice. Cocaine country dancing with you.

I got to get. get a fucking random one here we go. A random, are you are you scrolling through? Oh, Bo, Bo, Bo, Bo, Bo. You got to hit shuffle, Bo, Bo, Bo, Bo.

No, I know, I did hit shuffle. I didn't have shuffle on. Tell me what this is from. Sounds like I'm about to get hit by a truck. Interstate 64 by chance. That's the Drago's entrance from Rocky Ford. Okay, okay, okay. That's on my lifting list.

That shit'll get you lit. Are you Drago? I fucking wish, dude. You get pieced up? up. Oh, done. Eagles.

That's going to be it. Oh, because he's the Eagles guy. But Bo's got to pick it first. You've got to submit it. You can't just pick from nine. Okay, I'm going to go,

fuck, it's hard because you help me nominate. Which one has a better chance of... I know my pick of each point of... Actually, maybe that's a cooler way to do it. Yeah, Reed, you pick one of mine. So, Kurt Vile, war, and the Eagles.

No, but then let him pick, just in case. I'm up. Yeah. So of your three, Bo, I want you to nominate one that's going to be that you think we'll have a shot at winning. Yeah, I'm going to go with the Eagles. Oh, well, there you go.

We're going to hear some Eagles. Life in the Fast Lane, today's layup line. Congrats. That's a big dub for me. I felt so bad, like, in the early days of this podcast, I just shat on the Eagles. I didn't shit on the Eagles, did I? No, you didn't shit. I just was like, I'm not into the Eagles.

Eagles. I don't get the Eagles. Yeah. And I'll admit, like, you know, while they're wildly popular band, you know, a lot of their music does sound similar. Yes. But it is like, like many bands. Like many bands. Yeah, exactly. No. So, you know, then I found out like a day later that Reed like grew up listening to Eagles with his dad, like sitting on his dad's lap, you know, listening to, uh, take it. Is that is that to the limit? Is that your jam with your pop? You know, in my experience, the Eagle songs are really good in like the first half and then kind of trail off toward the end. Yeah, like they're playing the chief. Exactly. Their most famous song is the end of Hotel California. Yeah.

Hotel California is a football joke, Matt. It was a football joke. I think if you listen to Seven Bridges Road live, the live version, I think you'd like that one. Okay, I'm sure what I would. I got nothing against it. Seven Bridges Road is great. Okay. Now, the Eagles are.

great but if you if you got the wrong grass not as good yeah yeah yeah multiple levels to that okay anyways it's gonna be the Eagles and what's the song again life in the fast lane fuck it fuck it indeed all right a couple things guys

where do we begin I got something fun to talk about Chris okay so I'd like to give a shout out so I went from Arizona to a small wedding in Cabo, Mexico. I missed a lot of good times with the boys. You sure did.

I could not believe you actually didn't change. What day did he leave? I left on Friday morning. Friday morning. We were going to waste management. Yep. I came back at like four in the morning, like a good friend,

Dr. Fax and I woke Bo up to make sure that he was going to make his flight. Fax Fax wrapped on my door with his like nails. And he's like, go! You know, fax is like so amy. He's like, yo, yo, you're flying, you good? And I came out of my, that's a decent fax impression.

That was a good. I came out of my like slumber. Like, I've been asleep for like an hour and I have like, like, like I fucking miss my flight. I'm fucked. And it looked at there's like 405. We just, we just are get to the airport early people, you know, especially for international,

especially when, when your SIG other might be upset with you. So then anyway, uh, my fucking Uber black canceled. Matt came through clutch, dropped me off the airport at 5 amm. Appreciate that, Kingston. You're like the big man engagement coordinator. Like you've driven Kyle combined seven hours already in his tenure at Greenlight. You've driven Bo. You take care of Dr.

Dawkins around. Yeah, he's good with the big guys. Yeah, exactly. Dawkins was easy. I was seated at the wedding next to a Greenlight super fan by the name of Pat Schwarz. and he loved the show so much he brought me he listens to every fucking pod he brought me some Mexican candy that he picked up at a gas station so I want to give him a shout out and then he was also my guy yeah good guy man and uh I didn't peg does an early um tie around the wedding tie around the head

guy yeah you know what I mean like I thought he'd be the guy he didn't put the tie around the head but he did unbutton his shirt all the way yes I feel like I kind of won that but anyway I want to give him a shout out he had a fun little scouting report about uh You know, the Greenlight podcasters. So this is just a white dude from Detroit. His favorite podcaster, bar none, Dr. Fax. He said he produces the best content for the pod. He does produce some good content.

So I want to give him a shout out. Appreciate you, Pat. Thanks for the candy. That shit was delectable. You're a good man. There wasn't any like scathing negative reviews. Wasn't a huge fan of making. Oh, no.

Your face right now. Yeah, talk to Pat. Talk to Pat. That's fine, Pat. Hey, Pat's listening. That's all that matters. You're a fucking team player. I hate listen to me too.

It's all good. And me, I. Is that how I would say that? And you, you. Yeah. That's great. Shout out to Pat. Guys, I want to give out a worse flight.

By the way, before I do that, There were a lot of people in Phoenix that also liked the pod, including some NFL guys that we met, Keith Bullock being one, Nate's old teammate, and a great linebacker for the Titans for a long time. He was around all weekend. Dude, we ran into Keith Bullock seven times.

He's the best, though. He's like so high energy, awesome dude. We're going to get him on the field, and he's everywhere in Arizona. Exactly. He covered some ground. Check his Fitbit. But yeah,

I'm going to give out a worse flight. to the guy that probably everybody's heard about this by now, but a guy boarded a flight for Sydney, Australia, and ended up in Sydney, Montana, which I didn't even know there was a Sydney, Montana, but this cat, I mean, it probably, hello, tip you. It probably tip you off when you're going into the descent,

like two, three hours after takeoff, or maybe the size of the plane, because I'm pretty sure, like, if you're getting on an Embrae air, or the spelling of the city, maybe. Is it spelled differently? We're not going into the international terminal.

Like there's all types of Easter eggs that fate has left you and you could just or the cost of the ticket. Do you know where it was from where it originated? No. Well probably somebody on the team here one of our esteemed producers might know.

Flight time today is an hour and a half. He said that three and a half four hour flight. not long, but he said it gave it away when there was nine other people on the flight, and it was a tiny airplane, but Kingsley Burnett, worst plane ride. Montana didn't have kangaroos, traveler said. Incredible, man. Incredible. Worst flight.

And it reminds me, anytime I get to bring this up, I do, of the Josh McCown gem that's on the internet. It's a PSA for not masturbating. and the anecdote that he uses is once he was flying to Detroit, the plane lands in Detroit, the pilot comes over the PA and says, welcome to St. Louis. And everybody's like, what the fuck?

And the pilot's like, whoops, just fly a lot. And then Josh McCown's like, that's kind of what it's like when you're sitting in front of your laptop looking at XYZ. How did I get to St. Louis? Okay, that's that's verbatim with the ad I wish Josh McCown Inherited like a zillion dollars so he could run that Super Bowl ad

I just I do okay So I just want to bring that up again Did you know an asteroid hit over the English channel You guys didn't know this Guys a lot of shit is happening right now I saw that video there's been a lot of air traffic recently Chris Well, there's air traffic. A lot of air traffic.

We got balloons. We got asteroids. We got meteors. We got unidentified flying objects over Lake Huron. Spooky. Look at that. One meter asteroid just collided with Earth today over the English channel. Bo, make.

If an asteroid was coming that was large enough to fuck this whole thing up, what are you doing if they know it's coming in like two days? Asteroid pod, baby. We need that content. come on i've always you know got a kid she's only two i've always wanted i've always thought about watching down to navvy with her yeah so some sort of marathon maybe getting through every season i guess i don't know a little chocolate i'll tell you what i do and this is the thing the people in the movies never do and they should if the asteroid's going to hit kansas i'm in the truck driving to kansas i want that thing to pummel me yep i don't want to be

sitting at the dinner table holding hands waiting for the and it starts rumbling and everybody's like i love you and the lights are flickering like in the way up or uh don't look up i want i want i'm gonna lay down in that fucking cornfield and be the first guy that dies that would be incredible to be like like mr harrison from 2012 right when he's standing on the mountain and he's watching i haven't seen 2012. It's honestly a good movie. It probably doesn't, you know, betrayed the end of the world all that great, but you got John Cusack driving a limo

He said not a good movie. Oh, you don't like it, Bo? That does not make the Bo Allen movie club list. You got to fly a plane into the asteroid to really be first. Yeah, go meet that shit head on. I don't think right out. Who did that in ID4? The juice. No, it wasn't. It was a guy that I know

exactly i can see his face his names on tip of my tongue he drove his plane into the asteroid it wasn't woody harrison but it's like a woody harrison adjacent guy and he saved he saved humankind he was like the bruce willis of this movie it was randy quaid who has lost his fucking mom falling off a bit maybe he got cTE from hitting that asteroid wait is that really his name is his full name Randy Randall Rudy Quaid Randy Randall Rudy Quaid is Randy Quaid's full name

That's wild Okay so the asteroid hit over the English English channel Matt real quick before we get into the trip And I want to hear what Macon has FOMO over Because I know you missed a lot of great shit last week You the historian Last night

Cable's not set up just moved into a new house Oh congratulations Thank you and yeah Thank you for your your pivotal role. Ain't no problem. In securing my family's future. Anytime, dog.

You're a great real estate agent. Thank you. That's realty. Thank you. Okay, so, you know, I don't have cable. I got to go on like Netflix. I don't want to watch like a murder mystery because my first night in the house.

Sure. It could be a little spooky. Bad omen. I don't want to watch a paranormal thing because I believe in ghosts and I want to give it a couple days. You know when you move into a new place? You've talked a lot about it being haunted today.

Well, no, it's just when you move into a new place, I feel like in the first two days you're doing a lot of stuff you're unpacking you're figuring out which drawers you want to put your deodor in and shit but you're also trying to figure out what the ghost situation is. You guys do that too?

Of course. Yeah, you want a christened the spot, consummate it, you know? Yeah. Well, I don't want to tempt them so I'm not going to throw on like what happens when you die on Netflix. So I was like, all right,

colorized World War II. Beautiful. Oh, hey, that war was something. Epic. Okay. Huh! No, I've watched a lot of minutes. It's actually amazing.

The colorized footage is amazing. Yeah. Okay, so I was on the bombing Britain one. Yeah. The Lute Wafa? They didn't play anybody in France. Luftwaffe. Yeah, they didn't play anybody, bro.

They didn't have any competition. They got to the big game and they got smacked by the British guys. Yeah, they had way overwhelming talent and equipment and they still got fucked up. Incredible. What, like, NBA series does that remind you of? That would be... This is your intersection of my favorite. That would be the Golden State Warriors

with the all-time great team, 73 and 9, blowing it to the 2016 cabs. And LeBron is Winston Churchill. LeBron is Winston Churchill, which is really interesting because I didn't know that in Britain, they were like thinking about doing a peace deal with Hitler. Hitler had a soft spot for the British.

Yeah, there was this bro named Neville Chamberlain. He was a big pussy. And he wanted to do a deal with him? Churchill was like, will never talk to that man yep he didn't even call him by name that was balzy there's a good movie about that the darkest hour yeah it's great okay okay i'll check that i think i might have seen that yeah oh it's up your alley yeah there was one british plane that was like top notch that was lebron yeah and they didn't know about it the germans were all flustered because they had fucking radar

the whole east coast they had radar they could see for like you know they built all these underground tunnels they're incredible yeah oh still go to them Last of Us. They're tunnels. Oh, talk about your Last of Us experience. Hand up. Oh, I'm a big Last of Us guy. Hand up. I was wrong.

I was wrong. I've never watched any sort of sci-fi, anything that I deem, not real. And I love it. Now, first two episodes, I really was having trouble bringing myself to care about these characters. Might have even fast forward a little bit through, I think, what we call the museum scene. But damn, if Bill and Frank didn't get me. Museum scene.

They're fighting some of the zombies or whatever. And but now, holy smokes, it's just to show about humanity and the zombie, you don't need to like zombies or whatever. And you're caught up. Yeah, yeah, yeah. How great was it when that, uh, spoiler alert. Well, yeah, yeah, spoiler, spoiler, spoiler. How great was it when they, when they finished off that, uh, just unbearable, uh, character, the woman that led, uh, resistance. You don't like, uh, Kathleen.

Oh, Kathleen. Kathleen. and what's her name what's that actress's name she's great i like her yeah i'm sure she's great uh linsky lynnski linsky something like that i don't like the character um yeah yeah and then the fucking the what they call that the bloater comes out of the that was a big guy the bloater didn't scare me though kill me with one of those none of those things scare me are we supposed to be scared by those well the prospect of if they were real i think uh much less um hey if anybody Everybody's holding out because you don't like sci-fi.

Check it out. I'm converted. Check it out. It's great. Okay. Also, another thing, guys, before we get into Joe Thomas, three nights, no dip. Wow.

First time since I was 14 years old, essentially. You know, I pack a dip before bed. Don't ask me why. Nicotine keeps you awake, but it helps me sleep. The introduction of Zen has been a huge catalyst. I still get my nicotine. You know, I figure, let's not get cancer. Right.

You know? Right. So anybody out there who's going through that, maybe replace the Codiac Wintergreen with the Zen. I'm telling you, it hasn't been that bad. Hey, and you can come back from 22 years of that fiberglass cutting into your gums. I wouldn't worry about it one bit.

No, yeah, no, that's fine. It's going to regenerate. It's going to work itself out. You're good. I know with such conviction that I'm going to quit because last night I had one. Technically it was two nights without a dip. And then last night I had one. And it wasn't that fucking great.

I was like, you know what? I'm going to see if it's any good because I've been, you know. So last night when you dip, you're counting as the third straight night you didn't dip. Yeah, third night in a row that I didn't dip or didn't enjoy dip. Okay. So tonight is the real test. Okay. You throw in four of those menthol sixes.

You're going to be... 24. Yeah, you're going to feel... You'd be feeling good. Congratulations. Thank you. I appreciate it. The best moments in a sports fan's life are in football season.

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Joe, are you a Hall of Famer now or do you have to get inducted? Like, can you, is it official now? Yeah, you know, the funny thing is, somebody asked me that the other day. And I was like, you know what? That's a good question. I'm not sure, but I don't think I'm actually a Hall of Famer until you get the bust unveiled. You get the jacket. And right now I'm just a Hall of Fame elect.

So hopefully I don't do anything between now and then that gets. gets him to second guess their thoughts about putting me in the hall. Yeah, make said you're engaged. Yeah, you're engaged. I'm engaged. Don't commit any high crimes in the next few months. We need you.

We need you across that stage, brother. But the first question I was going to ask you before we get into the whole thing, because I, like, I heard a lot about the Walter Jones thing. How it came to the door and your son answers and all that stuff. It's like an amazing, you couldn't write it up better. But, you know, throughout your great career, was there a time where you were like, hey, I got a shot at this thing. You know, like, I know you're not like an individual guy,

but was there ever a time where you became cognizant of what you might accomplish? I think when I got to maybe my sixth or seventh Pro Bowl, and you start to kind of look at the guys that are at your position that are in the Hall of Fame, you start saying, okay, you know, if this trajectory continues for a couple more years, I'm going to have a resume that stacks up with those guys that have already made it. and I think at the point that I got elected to my 10th Pro Bowl, it was the first time an offensive lineman had made 10 straight Pro Bowls to start their career. That's the point I said, you know what, I think I'm probably going to get in.

You know, I'm not going to think about it because, you know, at the end of the day, five years after you retire, like, there's nothing more you can do about it. And you can't worry about it. The Hayes in the barn at that point. But I felt pretty good about the resume after I got to that point. Did you care when you went in? Because it was a certainty to me, You're going to go in very early, but did it matter to you?

I remember watching my dad, and he didn't take anything too personally. Like, he was like, shit, if I'm going to be in the Hall of Fame, I'm going to be in the Hall of Fame. But I know some guys are like, I want to be first ballot or that whole thing. Yeah, I love the saying comparison as the thief of joy, right? And you're like, okay, well, I got a gold jacket, but it only took me one year, took me five years. Like, to me, if you're a Hall of Famer, that's it. Period. That's the end of the story.

I know there's some guys in the hall, especially recently after that big centennial class. that have said, like, well, you know, if there's a first ballot guy, he should be in a separate closet in the Hall of Fame. And I'm like, I don't know. I don't really like trying to make all those differentiations. I'm just really happy to be part of that community, that ultra-elite group of the best that I've ever played in this game. Is there somebody you're really excited about sitting with in Canton

or catching up with? I know, like, you're a big, obviously, Walter Jones guy, but maybe a guy you haven't spent time with yet. You know, just hanging out with the offensive linemen is going to be really fun because those are dudes that I watched as a kid that I modeled my game after. And when Walter Jones came to my house, him and I were just talking about it. And he's like, you know what, when we go down to Canton and there's 80 or 100 other Hall of Famers down there, he's like, it's just like sitting at the lunchroom your first day in training camp. Like the old line dudes, they're going to hang out and they're going to find each other and they're going to start telling stories. Because there's just something about that brotherhood of offensive linemen.

You know, tell us the story about how you found out. You know, I'm yet to see it. I'm sure the video's out there, but I've heard about it. It's pretty special to me. My wife was the only one that knew when it was coming because the Hall of Fame actually called her in advance and said, hey, your husband made it. Now, don't tell anybody, which was kind of funny because we were actually going on a date that night. So she had to sit with me for three hours, which is already a difficult enough task.

But then she had to not spill the beans in that moment. And then the knock on the door was going to come about a week after that. So she knew about it. And she made sure to kind of set it up within the family. And she told all the kids like that whole week, hey, you better clean up your room because you never know at any moment. The cameras may be showing up. And you don't want to have a messy room,

which reminds me of the thing that my mom used to tell me. She's like, you always need to wear clean underwear. Because if you have to go to the hospital and they see that you got dirty underwear. It's going to be so embarrassing. I'm like, mom, boys don't think like that. But, um, yeah. So, so my wife set it up by saying, hey, we're going to go out to dinner with the neighbors tonight. It was like a Friday afternoon. The kids had just gotten back from school. And she's like, but we need to talk with the kids a little bit just before we leave for dinner. And I'm like, okay, great, you know, so we'll all go in the kitchen. That's kind of where we hang out. That's,

you know, where everybody hangs out is in the kitchen. And we're getting ready to go out with the neighbors. And of course, I'm just like in my underwear and a T-shirt. shirt and she's like just put some clothes on and I'm like well it's only going to take me 30 seconds like all I have to do is go upstairs and change my shirt and put some pans and she's just do it now come on honey like and I was like man she's kind of being a little bit persistent about this like just lay off lady let me get dressed when I want to get dressed and she's like just do it I'm like all right whatever you know a good husband you always defer to the wife she knows best it's not worth a battle so I went up I got changed I got dressed and we were in the kitchen we were just talking with the kids and all of a sudden

we hear a big knock on the door. But everybody but Annie, my wife, thought it was just the neighbor kids coming over to play with our kids, right? Because we live in a neighborhood and there's a bunch of their friends that are always after school running over and just banging on the door like anybody that lives in a neighborhood with little kids. And so my kids, yeah, exactly. Yeah, my kids just run to the front door because they think their friends are going to be there. And within 10 seconds, I hear my daughter Cameron, she goes, there's a guy with a coat at the door. And, and, And the first thing I thought was, is somebody trying to sell us something? Like, is this pest control or is this somebody selling like lawn care or door-to-door

books or dropping off phone books or something goofy? And then right away, my son goes, dad, we made it. We made it, Dad. And it still took me a split second because I was so caught off guard. Because this happened like two weeks before the announcement at the NFL honors. And after about five or six seconds, then I realized it sunk in in that moment because I saw how excited he was. I like, holy cow, this is the knock on the door.

This is how it's happening. And so I walked around the corner and I saw a big Walter Jones standing there, taking up both door frames with this gold jacket on. And I walked outside and it was a beautiful day in Wisconsin in January. It was like 10 below zero. It was miserable. There was Walter and like 10 or 15 guys with microphones and cameras. And I walked outside and Walter said, welcome home, Joe.

And I gave him a big hug. And then that's kind of when it's. sunk in and I started kind of tearing up a little bit. But I was so caught off guard and I was so emotional in that moment that I didn't know what to do because I hadn't thought about it at that point. I thought, hey, I got a couple weeks before the Super Bowl when the announcement happened. So like nothing's going to happen right now. And so I didn't invite him in right away and they were freezing their balls off. And I thought kind of bad because then I kind of like snapped out of it. I was like, oh, do you guys come in? Like what happens now? I'm not exactly sure. This is my

first time. Forgive me. So we brought him inside. But then reflecting back on that moment. and seeing the video after they put together the knock video and seeing the excitement of my kids and knowing that Walter Jones was my idol and he was a guy that I modeled my game after, being the one that knocked, but then having my kids see him first and then be the ones that told me,

it was like a script that you couldn't have written any better in Hollywood and to be able to share that moment with them just makes it even more special than I ever could have imagined. Was there a guy when you saw the, the other guys getting inducted with you that you're really excited about going in with? Well, there's a few guys. I mean, it's hard to count any of them out. I'm in a really special class for me personally because I'm the only modern candidate who's an offensive player. And so the four guys on defense that I'm going in with, I all played against or at least on the same

field with Dorel Rivas was in my draft class, which is really cool. There's a lot of pride amongst the guys who were drafted in 2007 and how good that class was. Calvin Johnson's already in on the first ballot, and there's several other guys that are going to be Hall of Famers from that class. But I think the one guy, if I had to pick anyone, it would be Demarcus Ware, because I always said that he was one of basically two or three guys that always gave me the biggest trouble when we go against him. And I only played against him a handful of times in my career, but, like, I had to be on my

game. I had to be on my shit when I was going against him because he was so quick off the ball. He was so powerful, and he could beat you three ways. He could run around you. he could beat you to the inside and then he could also run you over because he's so powerful. He was so good it was boring. Yeah. It's just like it just made it look too easy.

Joe, you were so great, so dominant, but your career is probably most known for being so freaking consistent. You already said the 10 consecutive Pro Bowls. Also 10,000 consecutive snaps, 10, 363. Was there a point? Was there a snap number where you were like, cognizant, you realized, huh, I haven't missed one of these yet. And was there a level where, hey, I'm not going to let an ankle take me out.

I'm not going to let cobwebs take me out. I'm going to keep this thing going. Yeah, it's crazy. I started playing football in seventh grade, and I tore my ACL, my junior year in college, playing defense, like in the second half of the bowl game. So really, from the time I started playing football in seventh grade until I tore my trisub tendon in year 11, I never missed a start. during my football career, like for injury or anything, really.

And it was about year six or seven where our media guy, Dan Murphy, came to me. And he was just going over the end of the year, like snap totals. And he's like, well, you know, you played all the snaps, including, I think, maybe Joel Betonio or Alex Mack also. And he's like, and actually I went back and I noticed you, I don't think you missed any snaps during your career. And it was at that moment where I started thinking, I'm like, you know what? I haven't actually come out for anything silly, like, you know, broken.

chin strap or like a shoe fall off or and you know one of the benefits of being on a team that wasn't very good it's not like they ever pulled me out because we were right big lead and you know we already had the playoffs secured so they weren't playing me so i think maybe that was one of the lucky parts of getting to 10 000 snaps but then in my 11th season when i was in that 9000 range obviously people were starting to talk about it especially locally in the browns media and i started thinking about it right like, hey, 10,000, that is a big number. We kind of knew that that would already be an NFL record, but nobody cares if you have 9,935 straight snaps.

It's that 10,000 number, right, that you really want to get to because it would be so meaningful. And so it was funny, as we're getting closer to that 10,000 snap, I, like, replaced all my shoe laces. I got, like, a new chin strap. I wanted to make damn sure that nothing trivial or silly was going to keep me from getting to that record. You get any weird superstitions about that too?

Or did you do anything extra crazy to kind of keep your body up to date? Or you just built different? You know, you're just ready to go at all times. You know, anytime you have durability, like a lot of it's just genetics. It's like how you're built. Like I have super dense bones, which is kind of funny to think about. But at the end of my career, we had a new high performance guy come in, Adam Beard, and he brought in a nutritionist with the Browns.

And we started doing the Dexas scans, you know, the body fat scans, different than the bod pod, which is what we always did. And the Dexa measures your bone density. And our nutritionist, Katie, measure my bone density. And she'd come from, like, Florida State. So she'd worked with a lot of college and pro athletes. And she's like, you know what? 1.0 on the bone density scale is standard Americans.

Like, if you're under that, that's when people are older and they're starting to lose, like, bone density and they have problems with broken bones. And she's like, out of all the athletes, I've ever done this Dexas. scan on in my entire life. The highest number we've ever seen was a three. And she goes, your Dex of Bone Scan is a 5.0. It's almost double the density of the next closest human. And I started to think, I was like, well, maybe that's probably why I was durable throughout my entire career. And to this day, have never broken a bone. I've had ligament injuries and tendon injuries and stuff like that. But I had never even broken a finger. I'd never broke a collarbone

an arm. Like no hairline fractures, nothing in my entire career. And I'm like, well, that makes sense also why I can't swim very well and I sink like certified dense I want to know how he longs dexas scan is actually I would love to know because dad has like fuck dude his wrists are just like heavy and the whole thing um but I I kind of wonder I'd like to dexas scan all the Hall of Famers they wouldn't see if they have thicker bones dude they might that might be that might be the unlocked uh yeah I'm like a two uh so so so so um so Joe like what do you think it was about your set? Because I only played you once and I was kind of old and it was boring because you're

just you're back there. You're just like what is it about your sets that separated you from other people? Like as you look back at your career, what made you good? You know, like technically. Yeah. So I always try to like boil it down when I'm talking to other players or trying to help coach up some of the offensive tackles. I'm like it's kind of simple.

I mean, it's it's harder to do it than it is. to say it, but basically you got to win the snap. You've got to be the first guy off the ball. As soon as the tip of that football starts moving, you need to be moving. And even before the ball is snapped, you got to take the slack out of your body. Because the last thing you want is that ball to snap and then you have to tense up and then move, right? Because you need to be ahead of that guy that's across from you because I know damn well that he runs a faster forward than me.

And I'm going backwards and he's going forward. So I got to get up before he does. And then once you're there, you want to make sure you're in a good, powerful stance, right? So it's hard to move quickly backwards with power and balance, but if you do it over and over and over and over and over, and you have a strong lower body and strong hips, and you can create that rigidity in your lower body. That gives you the ability to prevent yourself from getting run over,

but also then you can react quickly to anything, depending on what the defensive player gives you. I always wanted to keep my shoulders square, no matter if I was vertical setting or if I was setting on an angle because the squareness in your shoulders prevents you. I don't think I've ever seen you turn. I don't think I've ever seen you turn. Turning is like the instant death of an offensive tackle because then you could be to the inside and then you step in the bucket with your outside foot.

But if you can do that and then you're quick enough and you don't ever step in the bucket at the point of contact, you can always run the defensive lineman past the quarterback. So, hey, if you can win the snap, you can stay square and you can be power and rigid at the point of contact, then you'd be all right. And you had like low hands, which is. Yeah, that was the other thing that's tough for. a guy like me who didn't like chop clubs. You know, if a guy doesn't give you a punch and he's square and he's pretty good at the anchor, like, it's like, what do we do now, you know? Yeah, I felt that kind of being a real analytical guy helped me in the NFL because, as you know,

your offensive line coaches and your coaches, a lot of times they're way above where you are scheme-wise because that's all they do all day in those meetings. They talk scheme with the other coaches. But technically a lot of times, especially after you get to the middle part of your career, you probably know as much as they do technically and sometimes even more. And so they're giving you sort of the baseline of what you need technically. And for me, one thing that I always thought was kind of funny was, especially when I started, Chris, you might remember this.

Like, everybody talked about punch. Like they wanted you to try to be like Mike Tyson and punch a hole in the defender. And that was going to stymie them and then it was going to stop them. But I'm like, dude, every time I see somebody do this, they get their hands swipe down because all I see these defensive linemen do all offseason is where. work with karate masters on knocking down people's hands. So why would I throw two hands at somebody if all they're going to do is use that as bait and knock my hands down and get around me?

So I started really thinking about using independent hands. And I think instead of thinking in my head punch, I was thinking violent grab, right? Because I knew that if I tried to punch, I was going to lose balance. I never saw Mike Tyson punch with both hands at once. He would always punch independently, right? That allowed you to keep balance. And then that kept you ahead of a guy like you who wants to knock your hands down and then use that getting you off balance to get to the quarterback.

And so I think that was a big thing, like that coaches were teaching, but I thought it was really bad. And it's great now that you don't see a lot of offensive line coaches teaching that big punch anymore. It's more about working your hands independently, trying to fit up on the defensive lineman and connect my body to his body with my hands, not trying to knock a hole through the guy's chest or knock him off his feet with my punch. Yeah. That's one thing.

Chris, you know, we're D-Lyman, so we love getting into specifics of O-Line D-D-Line. play. And one thing we were talking about a little bit that we want to ask you about is just the evolution of pass rushers. So you played, you know, 11 years. And obviously you saw, you know, guys like DeMarcus Ware that you mentioned earlier. But it feels like, you know, the pass rush game is always evolving. I feel like you did such a good job of having the same set every time. You're very cognizant of that. You know, you just, you know, what's the quote? Like, I don't fear the man that's, you know, practice 10,000 kicks, or 10,000 punches, but 10,000 punches or one punch 10,000 times got a fucking butcher.

You got to do that 10,000 more time. We'll edit that one out and you get one more chance. No kidding. You're not the guy who practices 10th, whatever. You get the fuck. Yeah, Beau, there's moving on. There's an old Chinese proverb that effectively said. Oh, that was Sun Tzu.

Jack of all trades, master of none. Yeah, that's it. Anyway, what I was getting at is, how we're, I was pass rush evolved during the course of your career. You see guys doing the ghost rush now and, you know, the cross chops, really sexy one that edge rushers love to hit. Like, did you feel pass rushers evolved during your course as a left tackle? Yeah, it's interesting.

So I got to work with some MMA guys in the off season. Early on in my career, I worked with Tunch Ilkin, who was the guy that developed, like, the Tunch Punch System. Yeah, I've heard of him. And then Joe Kim, he was a guy that's worked with a ton of defensive linemen. I was with him in New England. There you go. He was in New England. He was like a pass for a specialist. And he was, I think I want to say judo or taekwondo. Like he got a bronze medal or whatever. And then he kind of developed his own system of drills and working hands and stuff. And the cool thing was that at the time, I thought it was a waste of my time. I'm like, why am I doing these defensive line hand drills all the time? But by kind of immersing myself as a defensive lineman using my hands, I was able to sort of almost reverse engineer it and try to feel. figure out, all right, what are they trying to do to me? And what do I not want to give them?

Because they've been working on it their whole life, right? And so I think, like, doing all the handwork that I did with different martial artists in the off season really benefited me because I got an opportunity to see what they were trying to do to me and, like, be able to understand that your hands are independent of your body. Because as soon as your hands and body go together, that's when you're losing balance. And the defensive lineman, for a good part of my career way ahead with technique than where offensive linemen were because you guys had all these passers specialists. You had all these karate guys bringing in and understanding the leverage and how your hands and your arms are built and how your elbow is like a hinge joint. It's not a ball

joint. So like if you can pin the elbow, like there's all these different strategies that you just have never learned if you only stayed on the offensive side of the football, but sort of immersing myself with those defensive linemen watching their drills and understanding how they were trying to attack me, really made a big difference in how I wanted to set them consistently, obviously, is important, but also how I wanted to throw my hands at them. So what was the kind of rusher that you struggled with most during your career, you know, like a certain style, like an Elvis Dumerville, shorter guy who's going to run the hoop on you, or you know what I'm saying? Yeah, so I would say early on my first half of my career, and you see a lot of guys that are young and new to the NFL, even big guys,

they struggle because they're trying to move fast. So when you move fast, you usually let your hips get higher. And then when that happens, if you got a short guy, he can get under you and you can bull rush you. And we did a lot of vertical setting early on in my career, which means, like, that's great because you don't get beat with stunts. But then the quarterback's like one step behind you. So if you get pushed at all, you're going right into the quarterback.

And so I hated those short guys that would bull rush, like the Dumerville. Even like Frini, he would get really low and he would work you up the field. So you felt like you had to go backwards so quickly. but you're also thinking about the spin. So you're trying to stay square and you get on your heels a little bit and all of a sudden he transitions to a power rush and then you're toast.

So especially early on, it was really challenging for me to deal with the short, stocky, fast guys who made you move quickly, but then who could transition to power. How about guys today that you watch that you really like that, hey, that guy's going to wear a gold jacket one day.

Somebody that you see is like a Hall of Fame caliber tackle or guard in the NFL that you like watching play? there's a lot of great ones i mean Trent williams is the guy that i've enjoyed watching probably the most throughout you know really the last decade because he's so powerful and i just have always had respect for those guys

that are so big and so powerful and so quick and especially because i was never a huge tackle i mean i played up to 320 during my career but i feel like trent has to get bound to play at 320 he still runs like a four eight right and so the way he just murders those poor linebackers and deval offensive backs, especially now with San Francisco where Kyle Shanahan kind of uses him, where he puts them in motion and they'll move them around and stuff. That's just enjoyable for an offensive lineman to watch and pancake dudes.

Is there an offense that you look at now and maybe as Shanahan's that you're like, this would have been fun? Yeah, so I played for Kyle one year in 2014. Oh, yeah, that's why Hawkins. Yeah, because you and Hawk were there, right? Yep. Exactly. And I love that offense.

And I had, I don't know, six offensive coordinators up into that point. So I played in a lot of different schemes. New England, the Don Correale, like when North Turner had, you know, yeah, he's going in there as a senior candidate or a senior elected member. And it was really fun, but I was really eager when Kyle came in because he was the first time that I was introduced to the outside zone, which as an offensive lineman, that's the best. Like, you pass pro drop back like maybe eight, 10 times a game, which is the hardest thing we do, right? When a defensive lineman knows you're passing, you're in the gun, you're taking five or seven steps,

and the quarterback's just standing there at 10 yards. That is easily the hardest thing we do. And so for Kyle, in his offense, you barely ever do that. It's always running right and left, and you guys on defense hate it, right? Because you're running right and left the whole game, and all of a sudden you have to transition after five steps to the left into a pass rush, and the ball's nearly already gone.

So I think that's why it's been such a popular system, especially since he got to San Francisco, and you've seen a lot of his coordinators go throughout the NFL. because it makes our job on offense with offensive linemen easier, but it also forces the defense to defend every blade of grass because they got guys running sideways and they got guys running vertically. That's the thing that changed the most for me in my experience from 2008 to when I retired.

And I don't know if you, but like offense just got so lateral. Like everything, like it's just so much eye candy and the run game was different. And like, you know, we used to play power encounter and all the staples of like gap schemes, type stuff with big old lineman. That was where I first felt.

It was like, I'm not fast enough to cover that much ground, sideline to side line to play the run game in today's NFL. It's like you have to be aware of a lot of stuff. We were both on really bad teams, Joe. Yeah. I was in St. Louis for eight years. You spent your entire time in Cleveland. And I used to feel for you because I was like,

shit, this sucks for me. But can you imagine if you were like a Hall of Famer and you're like in this one place? But like so many quarterbacks, I saw the Browns, jerseys with all the tape on the back and the different names. We should play a can you name your quarterback's game, but I'm pretty sure you're good at that by now. My question is, was there one guy that maybe you were wrong about him?

Chances are you would have been, but like that you had hope, you know, and how did you talk yourself into showing up every August? Because I can remember the vets, like their attitudes in St. Louis. It was tough to talk, ourselves into thinking we had a shot. Yeah, there's no doubt. I mean, honestly, that was the mind game that you had to play with yourself all offseason.

You had to build up reasons, almost like a fan, right? Like reasons and ways that you can be successful and like, okay, this guy, he's going to make progress because he was a young player. And then, you know, this receiver who's shown some things in practice, just not in the game. Like, you have to talk yourself into a path to a championship. Otherwise, you're not going to get the best out of yourself. And I think that was one thing I was good at during my career was like every year coming in with some type of hope and belief

that we were going to find a way and like in your mind building up your teammates to the point where they were probably in your mind better than they actually were on the field. But I think that last couple years when the Browns really gutted their roster and they were saving salary cap space for the future and they were trading away high draft picks because they were really planning for the future in that moment. that's when it started to wear on me mentally

because I had a hard time building up in my mind that we were still going to be good and getting the most out of yourself is only possible if you believe you have a chance. Right. That's crazy. I mean, it does, it rings a bell, man. It definitely rings a bell. I will say, Chris, I feel bad for you guys on defense

when you're on bad teams because I was on a bad team and it was like, hey, we got three plays, we'll be back on the bench. When you guys are bad on defense, we'll be out there for 14, 15 plays. You can be smashing your head against the wall making tackles, only to be back out there five minutes later because your offense stinks. James Laronitis, man, who was a really good player and played almost my entire career with James. Ohio State guy, obviously you guys know him.

Minnesota guy too. Yeah, Minnesota guy, hockey guy, you know, the whole thing, probably ice fishing and all that shit y'all do. But, you know, like James played his entire career in St. Louis. He escaped for New Orleans, but his body just fell out from under him, the first. first camp, you know, and so much of it was because, and I can tell you, like, I age faster than I should have in the NFL because we were playing the damn run so much. And we were on that Edward Jones turf and all that stuff. And yeah, losing takes a toll on defense. That's a great point, Joe. You almost escaped. I heard this story. The Peyton Manning called you, which I think it's

tampering, but there's a statute of limitations on that, I think. That's right. What happened with Denver and was it legitimately almost a thing? So I'm laying in bed one night, middle of the season, I want to say like October, right right kind of before the trade deadline. And I'd heard through the media and through my agent that John Elway from the Broncos had called the Browns and was trying to trade for me because the Broncos had just lost their left tackle.

And this was the year they ended up going on and winning the Super Bowl. And obviously with Peyton, he was getting a little frail at the end and they needed some good pass protection. They didn't want to leave their left tackle the chance with a backup. And I guess the Browns and the Broncos had kind of worked out some reasonable compensation for me. I think it was like a first round pick and like a player or something like that. But the Browns didn't want to do the deal. I think there was some concern probably within the organization, hey, we're not playing all that well. And if we trade this guy that's been here for a while, that's played really well for us that's, you know, really invested in the community,

might not look so good for us, so maybe we should just hang on to them unless we get some just crazy offer. And so I'm laying in bed and I get a text on my phone. We're watching Sunday night football. I got ice on my knees. And the text message says,

Hey, JT, this is your Pro Bowl drinking buddy. Give me a call ASAP. And I'm like, okay, that narrows it down to about 99 other guys because if you remember the old Pro Bowl in Hawaii, basically that's all you did is he hung around the pool bar and you drank mites with all the other guys. guys. So he piqued my curiosity and I called the number and sure enough, Peyton Manning,

hey, hey, J.T. This is Peyton. As you probably heard, Broncos were trying to trade for you. We need a left tackle. Let's go win a Super Bowl together. I'm well, you know, I appreciate it, man. But I love Cleveland. And if I get traded, it's not like I have a no trade clause. So if it happens, it happens. And I would love to play with you, obviously, but I'm really happy in Cleveland. And I want to finish what I started here. And he's like, well, I'm, I'm, I was, I was worried you'd say that, but just listen to me for a second. He's like, we're going to win a Super Bowl this year, but you need to do me a favor. He's like, go up in your general manager's office and you need to do something to get yourself out of there.

He's like, when he's not looking, pull your pants down, take your crap on his desk, and then he'll have to get rid of you. Oh, okay, Peyton. Sounds like a Seinfeld episode here, but I'm not sure that that is exactly what I want to do because things have been a little tough. and I'm happy to be here. And so he's like, all right, I get it. He's like, I appreciate your loyalty. We hung up. And I think it ended up working out good for everybody after that moment because

Peyton, he ended up winning his Super Bowl that year anyway. And then from that point forward, in the next two years, I ended up winning one more game. So I think it worked out better that nobody was traded before the trade deadline. Just being real with you, man, like, I know your legacy is perfect. Like, it's perfect. You wouldn't change a thing. And people don't like going back. and you're loyal in the whole thing,

but I'd have to wonder, you know, I wonder sometimes, hey, I wish I was maybe drafted somewhere different, even though I love St. Louis, the whole thing,

do you ever think like, man, I wish that had happened at some point, maybe in a more easily digestible situation for Cleveland, and where did you think about playing? Yeah,

certainly there was a lot of misery in my career in Cleveland because of all the losing. You guys know as players, how horrible it is to wake up on a Monday morning after you lose. And then to just do that over and over and over again. And every two years your coach is getting fired. As a matter of fact, I had one coach that only made it one year.

You didn't even make it 12 months. He got fired. And so having that constant turnover, having that constant swirling of rumors about, you know, everybody's going to get fired and who's going to be here next year. It makes it difficult to just enjoy being a professional athlete. But I will say, like reflecting back on my career, I think it made me a better player in the end because you guys know this.

When you win, it deodorizes everything. The coaches come in happy and maybe your hand placement was a little bit off or your footwork was a little bit off or maybe you didn't have your eyes in the right place and that stuff gets swept under the rug when you win. When you lose, there's a magnifying glass on everything and it forces you to be laser-focused

on every single thing you do because you never want to be the reason that you're going to get called out and that your team loses. And so I think it actually forced, forced me to be reflective on my own game at a higher level than if I would have been on a team that was winning consistently. And the lines thinner between winning and losing. So the chances of you being that guy are much higher. You know, like one big fuck up and it's probably you. Like one guy

out of their gap and we probably lose the game because the origin for error is not real, real thick. Well, I see that Madison's about an hour, hour and a half west of Brookfield. Did anybody else have a shot at 21-year-old Joe Thomas in 2003, or was it Barry Alvarez or bust? So I grew up a Badger fan, but maybe some other people go through this. Like, you grew up in the same hometown. Like, I didn't travel a lot as a kid. Like, I didn't get out all that much. And so you get a little bit of a grass is greener on the other side mentality sometimes.

And so going into the recruiting process, I actually kind of thought I was going to leave Wisconsin and go play somewhere else. I was a big shot put in discus guy. So I wanted to go somewhere I could do track and football. But going into the process, I visited Nebraska, I visited Virginia Tech, I visited Notre Dame, I visited Colorado and Nebraska. Like, I visited a lot of different places. I seriously flirted with like Miami and USC.

But once I went on all those different visits and then I came to Madison, it was a weird moment where I said, like, this is home and this. just feels right. And in the end, the decision became pretty easy to stay home and play for Barry Alvarez. But I don't even think it was just because it was close to where I grew up. It was just more about the environment, the team, the guys, the coaching, the development, the way that Barry treated you like a man, but he would also expect you to act like a man.

And he worked you hard, but he was like that father figure. And it was really attractive to me. And the social scene in Madison wasn't too bad. That didn't hurt her either. We were the number one party school in the country for my first couple years in college. I'm looking at the damn. 24-7.com and it's telling me Virginia was one of the interests.

And now I'm thinking about DeBrickshaw Ferguson and Joe Thomas. The A tackle next to each other, you know? Oh, man, come on, dude. I think you made the right pick. Yeah, he made the right choice. I've been waiting to talk about some Wisconsin football with you. So thanks for bringing that up, Nathan. Well, not to steer out of Wisconsin football,

but I want to ask you about, your take on Jeff Saturday, I thought a lot of guys felt that way. You know, obviously yours was kind of fiery and so it made some news, but like, you know, you were passionate about it.

You respect the process, man. Like you've seen a lot of coaching changes. And I know we have buddies that coach in a league and the whole thing. Now that Jeff is not the coach next year, looking back on it, like what are your reflections on that time period? because it for what i love jeff saturday like i know you love jeff saturday like everybody

loves jeff saturday but it was the most like the cognitive dissidents of being like do i root for this to work out yeah because it just sets a bad precedent and you know like uh it kind of played out the way i guess you you you feared it would and there was so many things inside of me that were kind of torn because like you mentioned i love jeff saturday as a man as an analyst as a player. Like, he's top-notch. And that's why you saw all of his former teammates and coaches in Indy defending the decision. And you saw his colleagues at ESPN turning themselves into pretzels to trying to figure out how do we defend this decision. But in the end, I kept thinking, this is bad for everybody. Jeff, if I could be your advisor in this situation, I know it's so tantalizing to be a head

coach in the NFL because people work their entire life to have that opportunity and he is a great leader of men. So I'm sure in his mind, he kind of convinced himself that even though this was not the normal path, like, yeah, I believe that I can have an impact on these guys and I can turn this around and stuff. But I just have too much respect for the challenges of being a head coach. And I just knew he wasn't prepared for that role. And as his pseudo friend, because I've met him a few times and played with him the Pro Bowl

and stuff, I was like, this is just bad for you. It's going to be bad. Like, please don't take that. this. And to your point, like, this is so disrespectful to the coaching profession and what it takes to be a successful head coach to think that somebody that has no college or professional coaching experience can somehow waltz into a situation in the middle of the season. And then all of a sudden overnight learn all the things that it takes to be a head coach, especially knowing that I saw six head coaches come and go in Cleveland and fail and understand how difficult it is to be a

head coach in the NFL. And it really bothered me to hear some people that had never played in the NFL that had never coached act like it's just something that's easy that you can just volunteer and sign up to be a head coach and that it's not hard. That really probably at the root of it was what irked me the most was like they acted like being a head coach in the NFL with some easy breeze that you just put a whistle around your neck and you show up to practice and you clap on the sideline and then you win. Yeah. And it's not just setting schemes. It's making decisions It's clock management. It's all those things that we saw at times them fumble with a little bit.

And I understand why. I mean, as you said, it's hard. I don't respect Jeff any less. Right. But, you know, I agree with you. It was a tough situation. Let me bring it up to if you looked in the Super Bowl. And I had this conversation with Mitchell Schwartz because we do a little podcast every

week on 33rd team. And we were talking about Andy Reed and his experience in the NFL as a head coach, his experience in the Super Bowl versus Nick Siriani, who's a younger coach first time in the Super Bowl. And he talked about how well prepared Andy got them for the Super Bowl and how his experience being a head coach in the Super Bowl is understanding how warmups are going to be a little bit different because you've got that big stretch between the time you go into the locker room

and then when the time the kickoff happens because of all the extra anthems that are played and then the time that you have at halftime and how things have to change and how you have to prepare guys. You have to walk them through it. you have to think about all these little things as a head coach. You have to check the field. And then you've got to be able to check the field. Check the field.

That was a big one. And that may be a great transition to the next topic. But Andy had gotten those guys prepared and he communicated with the equipment staff. And he let them know the importance of, hey, checking your shoes, this is what the field conditions are going to be like. Make sure our guys are in the right shoes. Walking through that with the team and getting everybody on the same page and communicating those things, all the things that maybe a first time head coach probably wouldn't think

about that they haven't done it before. but Andy, with his experience and his years of knowledge, was able to prepare his team and give him the advantage they needed to win on Sunday. Yeah, and Andy Heck did a great job in the run game. Absolutely. I mean, for you probably watching that thing, it's like, it's like awesome to look at that. I mean, the surface was a problem. Speaking of the next topic, that's a good one.

The surface was a problem. I thought it negated some of the skill sets that some of the defensive linemen on the, the eels had. what did you think as you watch that play out and the matchups that were won and lost? So Colt McCoy, one of my best friends, played with him in Cleveland. He was the backup quarterback in Arizona, played a bunch this year. And it was cool because we rented a house for the Hall of Fame stuff that was right down the street from him. Had a birthday party at his house on Friday night for my 10-year-old daughter because we have kids about the same age. And we were actually talking about this before the game.

And he was talking about the field, and he's like, I think it's one of the best fields in the end. NFL, but it's going to be a little bit slippery for the guys that aren't prepared because they grow the grass outside and they bring it inside. And he said it's like a really tight, like soil. It's really compact. It's really hard. But then on top, they've got a little bit of grass that if you don't get your cleats into it, it's not going to sink in. It's almost like a track with a little bit of grass on top. And so when you see defensive guys slipping, a lot of times it was because they're on the side of their shoe. And typically when you kind of put the knife edge of your shoe in the ground, it'll catch, especially in turf, it's going to catch. In softer soil conditions, it's going to

catch. But when you have that hard soil, that hard track with a little bit of grass that can get a little bit of wet because they're bringing it inside, they're going to slip. And you saw that with a lot of the guys from the Eagles, especially the pass rushers that like to play outside of the framework of their body. They like to put the knife edge of their foot into the ground to try to create that leverage to try to create those quick cuts. And when you look at the stats, there was somebody that did like a rundown of how many times the chiefs slipped versus the Eagles. It was almost double when the Eagles were slipping versus the chiefs.

And it made a big difference in that game. Yeah, Big Cat had a really good thing from part of my take. I don't know if we watched those guys, but Big Cat had a really good thing about how the creator of this new breed of grass is a big chiefs fan. And, you know, like there was this whole conspiracy theory about the numbers, as you put it, were skewed majorly to the side of chiefs staying on their feet. Now, part of that is the experience and actually paying attention and changing your cleats and that sort of thing.

And part of it, I think, is because of the style of play of those defensive linemen for the Eagles. I'm really curious from your perspective, guys, because as an offensive lineman, we never play outside of our base because we can't or we'd fall down, right? But for you guys, that's what you do. Obviously, you got your weight on your hands and your stance. You're getting off, you're playing on the outside of your shoes.

and I'm wondering if the shoe manufacturers are going to kind of change their design a little bit because nobody puts any nubs on like the side of the sole of the shoe. Yeah. And if you watch guys that were slipping, it was because they got up on kind of the side of the sole of like the plate of their shoe and it's just smooth there. There's no nubs. But all you would have to do is put some nubs kind of on the outside of that plate of the shoe

and it would give you enough grip to be able to get the rest of your crue. cleats in the ground in that moment when guys were starting to lose their footing. So I'm wondering if when people do experience those type of field conditions, they might switch to an alternative shoe that has just some little nubs in the outside to give them just a little bit of friction in that moment when they were slipping on Sunday. Well, I mean, I think that sounds like a damn good idea and we should be rich. But I do think like the majority of fields have pretty good traction, you know, and I think it's on us as defense of line. And I can remember going to the super. and we played in Houston

and then we played in Minneapolis and in Houston you know like I went down and checked the field and everything you know when you walk through when you go on the road if you have an opportunity

you check the field I always aired on the side of caution so if we played in like Cleveland for instance I can remember playing you guys in Cleveland and being able to stick my foot in the ground and had a sack that game that I was outside the framework of my body

and was able to kind of sink my left toe in and push off and I wouldn't have been able to in molded. And I think, you know, just, just like, and also being versatile enough in different situations to rush differently. Like in that game, I would have gone power. I would have gone speed track. And then I would have gone long arm back into, uh, to Wiley. You know, I just, hey, speed is off the table. You know, maybe some, some bold jerk type things, but like, you have to vary the way you rush based on the surface. And you have to be adaptable in those crisis situations. And there aren't too many of them.

You know, I don't know if, Beau, you had surf a season. Yeah. No, I mean, it's like when you play in a late season outside cold weather game, you know, you're going to have to widen your base a little bit and things like that. And it's sometimes you kind of write it off, you know, because you expect, you know, all grass is created equal and all, you know, field turf is created equal and stuff like that. It's definitely not. So it is interesting to see in a, you know, a pretty prolific Eagles pass rush had zero sacks,

which is a big impact in the game. But, you know, like you were saying about being on the outside of your foot, like if you're trying to make a hard inside move sometimes like you slip yeah you know guys will slip out and you know guys like asan rachadjavon hargrave on the ground of his stance slipping out right yeah directly out of his stance so i think like small things like you know kind of not getting um up on your toes so much in your stance of getting more your cleats in the ground and then just widening your base um but it's hard because you want to go to your fastball and your best rushes so much in the biggest game of your career and you you you know you want to go to your best move and

sometimes that's off the table with the surface. I was surprised at how long they let that thing play out without making a big adjustment, like the way they rushed or the cleats. Joe, I wanted to finish with some, I know you're a big outdoorsman. You got a vegetable garden. It's like folklore. Your vegetables are like, they're like, love me some veggies.

Huge carrots, giant tomatoes. But like you hunt too, right? So I just moved on to a track of land where I'm going to have a little. little bit more room and I like I like hunting turkey okay that's the one thing I actually do but I don't actually kill them very much because it's very difficult and I wonder if you have any tips for me or any other people stalk in a game like turkey early in the morning come turkey season this spring so you have to clarify for me you hunt turkeys but you don't shoot them well because like take a picture of or you just haven't got a close I've had a hard time I've had a bird watcher I've had

a hard time calling them in. My last, my last farm that I had is heavily wooded and mountainous. So, you know, like I got a buddy from like Southwest Virginia is like, well, we're going to hike these mountains and we're just going to chase them down. And like, that's not the way you do it. You want to bed down early and you got to have a good caller and that sort of thing. You can't move because they've got great vision. I just have not had a lot of luck calling them in. All right. Here's my general turkey strategy. You try to find where they are by calling, right? you'll hear them, and then you want to get as close as you can and get them as fired up as you can, and then shut up and wait 30 minutes, and right when you think you should get up and move,

wait another 30 minutes. And the best calling is no calling at all, because you're just trying to get that thing fired up and then make them find you, make them get curious and come to you. But one thing I know is they got way, way better vision and hearing, and they can triangulate where you are. And so if they hear you calling and they're looking and they don't see a bird, they're gone. So shutting up a lot of times is the hardest thing to do and just sitting still. It's so hard, but it's the best strategy because that kills more turkey than all the calls in the entire history of the world put together.

You like slate or a mouth call? So I usually run a mouth call. I'll run a slate occasionally when I've got somebody that I'm calling for or I'm trying to give them like maybe the idea that there's two hens that are kind of fighting or I'm trying to bring in a tom that's hend up that's got another hen. I'll try to piss that hen off by making them think that it's another hen that's copying their calling. But in the end, the mouth call is king because that allows you to be just totally still. And when that bird gets in that 100-yard bubble, like you don't have to move at all, and you can still give them the idea that there's a hen out there. Huh?

Right notes. Hey, Joe, waiters. Do they make waiters for a man of your size? Is there a waiter out of Dick's sporting goods you can pick off the rack? Well, not off the rack. It's a little bit challenging. You got to order those online. But the big problem is usually if they're tall enough for me,

they got a real big belly on them. So I have to have a special belt that kind of cinches them down so that I don't look like I'm in the circus or something. Well, Joe, you can only pick one, hunting or fishing. So I see you got a, you know, was that a musky right behind you? And then there's a legendary story during the draft of you, you were out there fishing. Was it Lake Michigan? Something like that.

So only one, hunting or fishing? What are you going with? For me, it's hunting. The highs are just so much higher. Now, I haven't done a lot of big game fishing, like Marlin, tuna, stuff like that. And people that do that type of fishing say it's just like hunting. You know, a lot of times you're trying to see those sails from the sailfish and you're trying to cast to them.

And then once you get them on, it's quite a fight. But for me, it's the idea of just sitting quietly. in the animal's environment, trying to get as close as you can where they can't hear you, they can't see you, they don't know you're there, and fooling them at their own game in the hunting. To me, that's the pinnacle with a bow in my hand. This is a serious question without any judgment whatsoever. There's the last question. Without any judgment. I don't think you have any trouble emotionally feeling bad for the animal. Now, if I see a deer

walking around, I think, oh, what a good looking animal. I would rather not. murder the deer. What would you say to a person that might have an emotional hang-up due to hunting or fishing? They don't have to hunt if they don't want to, but the idea that just because you didn't shoot that deer, it's going to live forever. And somehow there's a fairy tale ending. Unfortunately, in the world, in the wilds especially, doesn't happen like that. And the quickest, cleanest and least painful way for that thing to die is at the hands of my bow and arrow or my rifle and then me and my family and my friends we get to enjoy some fresh meat rather than a nice family eating you yeah letting the Eagles all of fame are eating you raccoons and the possums

and the coyotes and the wolves eat them yeah that's that's a great answer okay so i just i just found out there's a really good musky fishing spot an hour south of seaville we'd love to host you sometime joe oh yeah we take you on the river the whole thing so yeah joe congratulations man seriously so much respect for you the way you did it the excellence the consistency bro Thank you for the time. Thanks for having me on, guys. This is a lot of fun. I'd love to do it again.

And we got to go musky fishing. Let's do it. That sounds awesome. Let's do it. Thanks, Joe. Appreciate you, Joe. Good news. The Thursday show we do with Amp will continue 430 every Thursday.

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You can buy a car from Vroom entirely online, so next time you need to buy a car, just grab your phone, go to Vroom.com, and check out thousands of cars. So, Make, yo. What did you feel like you missed out on? Well, like, um, uh, you know, what I, uh, which you don't know can't hurt you.

Yeah. Something, something of that sort. Then they put out that sick, uh, social with all the pictures. Didn't. Didn't watch it. Didn't watch it. Didn't click on it.

Can I show it to you? I guess. Now, I can just tell you. I did hear something that made me think, oh, that would have been cool. You met the goat. I'm curious to hear who you think might be the goat. Serena. Yeah, Serena.

I mean, that would have been Joe. Yeah, I met Serena. The Drake party? It was Friday, though. The cash app party, the big cash app party that we had a blast that on Friday. And you should definitely have FOMO about missing out on the cash app party. That was one of the most fun nights of my entire life. We got up into the VIP area.

I was way in the wrong spot. Thank you cash app people for allowing me to be up there. But the whole party was amazing. When you went up to the bar, everything was free, but you could tip the bartender with your cash app, like QR code. That was so dope. It made it easy. Yeah, it was wonderful.

And it was heavy pores. They were, you know, we were all drinking responsibly, but it was a good time. Bradley Chubb, you know, put his hand on my shoulder, asked me a question. It was a good time. I saw Dak Prescott right after he got his Man of the Year award. And Reed, you and I were chilling together watching Drake.

We saw some people getting tattoos at the party. I almost was like, should I get a tattoo over there? It'd be pretty easy to get a tattoo. But yeah, it was a great party, airplane hanger, so many lights, so many bright stars. It was a blast. Yeah. Kyle and I were hanging outside for a while just watching the celebrity. walk up after they did their photographs it was like it was incredible i cannot wait to go to another

cashette party if we're ever invited hopefully hey here's what i heard all right i heard a lot of four ams a lot of partying a lot of people yeah i don't like any of that yeah you're good so i didn't have a lot of fomo i missed you guys of course a lot of ryan rissillo oh really you know yeah i mean one day of And, hey, I resolve to, and I'll sit down with you privately. I resolve to increase my investment in the Greenlight Pot experience, just generally. Yeah. All right, moving forward. Uh-huh.

But as far as the Arizona trip, didn't wet your whistle. Not really. Check out that. You missed me in a speedo, man. No, I didn't. Saw that. Saw that part. Saw that part.

That's never too far away, man. All you got to do is ask. Angelah. That's when I decided to mute the account for the week. He came out of the pool. He literally knew what it was. I also have to rent like five, seven movies for Africa next week. Do you guys have any good recent rentals that you can throw in the pot?

Oh, watch the banshees of Inneshaeran will probably win the, win the Oscar this year. Matt's saying no. No. You're saying no because I told you it was strange. I watched it. It's really depressing. Really depressing. You didn't understand it.

Did you see everything everywhere all at once, Chris? Tried. Oh, come on. I love indie movies. I love, that's a great film. I love weird movies. It just was too much.

There was too much going on. What about a hot dog fingers for you? What about TV? Why don't you just run through a few TV shows? Give me one. Okay. Not called shrinking. Shrinking. Check out shrinking.

Shrinking's good. Okay, shrinking's good. And that's coming from a guy that gave me, what was the one with the office building that you, check out during the day. Severance. So I trust you, Bo. That means a lot. Ooh. Reservation dogs. You would like that. Okay. You would like reservation dogs. Okay, cool. I'll send you a little list. Drinking reservation dogs. All right. You are a Hulu guy, huh, Mike? Yeah. Let's get into this airport draft because one thing you didn't miss

was a travel experience. We damn near didn't make it. I had to run through. an entire airport, E-terminal to A-terminal. When Matt and I got to the gate, we thought Chris was way behind us, but he was sitting there waiting. Pull up. Y'all are flying commercial? On the way there. Okay.

Yeah. On the way back, you know, the team bonding experience. I don't know that I've flown commercial in 15 years. Okay. I also haven't flown anywhere. So Scott Van Pelt's comment from the time he was. on is accurate, right? What's that?

What do he say? Remember, he was like, oh, you went to UVA, you look like somebody who hasn't missed a private. Well, no, that's because he worked for the team. That was funny. Yeah, charters.

But, but, not peaches, charters. You haven't flown places. When's the last commercial flight you took? I really, I do think it was the Orange Bowl into 2019,

but before then I couldn't even tell you. Really? Yeah. Well, we had the pandemic. You don't do much. No, no, no, no. I like to stay home. Okay.

So you might not be great at this draft. Oh, I don't know about that. Because this draft is worse people at the airport and or on the airplane. You feel prepared? Oh, okay. A little bit. Okay. How deep are we going?

I think we'll plan for four rounds. Okay. Four? I got like 30. Four or five. I've got four people total. So let's hope they stick around. All right.

Yeah, dude, I got the exact same thing. Uh, one one. Now, I'm not quite sure. Maybe you guys can help me. I'm not quite sure how to describe this person, but it's someone who wants to, uh, inflict, terror on a wide number of people

like a terrorizer like a terrorist those are a terrorist those are the worst at their airport it's like come on guy I'm trying to get from point A to point B why you got to be me

that's my number one rank to hijackers you're one of those coaches now that was like we were thinking about draft and Padgett Mahomes we were about to trade up for him Yeah, terrorist. That's well put. One one. Good. It's a good pet.

Chris is a safe pick. Okay. Very safe pick. The reclining guy. Sorry, dude. I'm sorry. It's always a little guy whose feet barely touched the ground. His little loafers are hanging down like he's at his fucking little toddler dinner table chair.

And he just, as soon as he gets in the seat, because he works for some fucking corporation. and he's flying in first class and he's a little king for the day he gets like a Jack Daniels on the rocks and he just goes wham right into my fucking knees man and it's always a little guy Goldman in your sacks

yeah dude exactly exactly yeah but not even Goldman Sachs like these dudes I mean you know I don't want to like besmirch any industries but yeah sure yeah man fuck that I don't even do it in principle.

Yeah. Because of, you know, it's like the golden rule. I'll be jammed in there and I won't do it. I agree with you. In first class you can, but not in coach. You can't do it in coach. Can't do it. That's a me move.

It's a me guy. Well, you know, it is a me move. And I thought you meant it's like what Bo Allen does. But if you never, if you did it, I wouldn't blame you because you're big. Yeah, but I like to do it like, hey, I'm big and I still don't do it. You shouldn't either. Yeah. Some people aren't taking your example.

Good pick. Good pick, mate. Good pick, Chris. I'm going to go with an easy, easy low-hanging fruit. Babies. Get your fucking baby off my flight. Am I up? No, Bo has two picks.

Okay, go ahead and make your next pick. Oh, I get two? Yeah, we're doing it. Snake draft. All right, cool. We don't want to. Easy. Third pick.

I'm been to that one. Sorry, my second pick. I couldn't really think of a good way to describe this. Um, so I just call them, uh, do it into the microphone. That's one good way. That'd be advisable. I'd just like to call them, uh, like boarding gate zombies. Yeah.

Like, hey, uh, just the gate agent will come on the mic like, hey, we're going to prepare to board in five minutes and everyone just crowds around the fucking, uh, gate like they're, like, if you're not all going to the same place and we're not bored like, get the fuck out of and if you're in group six, take a hike. Yeah. Yeah. Go sit by the hudson news. for a second.

And then you got your Goldman Sachs, King of the Day, whose whole personality is wrapped up in their flight status. Oh, yeah. You know what I mean? Where they'll just go stand right in line because it's first class.

It's why I don't fly Southwest, the jockeying. I can't do it. By the way, is Southwest even a thing anymore? I think they're bankrupt. Apparently, our busing with the boys' buddies were on Southwest. Southwest flights the other day.

The end is near. jockeying. Hey, but there's only so much room in the overhead, you know? Yeah, that's true. They all of a sudden they make you check your bag underneath. You could miss your connection. You're damn right. All right.

You don't like babies? I don't like the guy that's mean to families on the plane because there's a young child and the child's making noise. Uh-oh. I'm sorry, babies travel. How would you like them to get there, Bo? Bye. bro pack them up in a crate and put them in the bottom of the plan that's not allowed

you know beau you're a fucking idiot hoax and holes in a cardboard box they'll make it how do you think babies you know who's a baby the guy yelling at the baby you're in a metal tube okay things are not ideal you have to be resilient and adaptable if not i'm surprised you have the money to afford a plane ticket like you're you're a functioning enough member of society to fly in a metal tube from D.C. to L.A. but not functioning enough to empathize. Get that baby at Woodford Reserve and keep them quiet. Spoken like a virgin, man.

You know, a guy who's never had sex and made kids and had to experience the fucking the grind of transporting your family. One day you might understand. Are you a virgin? Definitively. It's not all it's cracked up to be. Cool. we can get together privately.

Sometimes I fantasize about fighting a guy that that yells at a kid. I'm not out there yelling at kids on the plane like, hey, shut that fucking baby on. I don't even want it under the breath. Like, I don't even want somebody to sigh when a kid's crying. That's a kid. I'm just,

I'm just looking. I'm just going, where's that fucking? And there's some people out there listening there like, oh, you're an asshole, Chris. Like,

you're the one yelling at a baby. You're the one mad at a baby for crying in a metal tube. you're the one check that baby you know put it at your check luggage it's not that hard uh sick person now this is not just

germaphobe talking or person who's currently living through a pandemic yeah this is this is in the before times too if you're sneezing if you're coughing if you're sniffling gross you're the worst

now I understand you probably need to get somewhere but you're not masking up, not in the before days. And if you are now, still, I don't, you know, we're spreading viral loads as if we don't have another choice. Yeah, we got another choice. Chris?

Take the Chrysler. Get in the car. I hate it. I hate it back then. I hate it now. The sick person anywhere in my orbit is the worst person. Far worse than a baby.

I'd love a baby, you know? What about a sick baby? Does the sickness override the babyness? Yeah, yeah, yeah, for sure. But sick baby, cool, sick adult, awful, gross. Yeah, their germs are smaller. Where have you been? Okay, this is a little specific, but you got to know which side is the walk side of the moving sidewalk.

And which side is the standstill side. Yeah. If you're standing still when we're trying to get somewhere, you're the worst person in the airport. One of them. I'll go the guy when a plane, you know, like lets out and you're sitting there.

Taxing. Well, no, not when you're taxing when you're parked. I took a chance. I took a chance that's what you were talking about. You know the ding and everybody stands up and it's a fucking race, the guy that goes out of turn.

How'd he last that long? Wow. Yeah, you're right about that. It's the same guy that reclines. Yeah. It really is. It's the same guy as the pre-boarding zombie. It's the same guy in traffic.

There's a Venn diagram. It's the same guy in traffic that when you're waiting to get in the left lane to pass somebody and you've got to wait for the left lane traffic to pass you and that person's behind you cuts you in line to pass. You don't understand what I'm saying, but drives me fucking crazy. When you're deep planning under the watchful eye of like Bronco Mendenhall,

you don't dare, you know? Yeah, exactly. Tony Bennett's not going to stand for shit like that. All right. But I understand. out in the world. In the real world, yeah, yeah, yeah. Unless they have a connection.

If you have a connection, it's understood. And usually that should be communicated. You got a connection. Yeah, you stand up, you go, I'm sorry, guys. I'm sorry. Yeah, look at your watch, point to your watch. You got to see a lot. You got to sigh a lot.

You got to pull out your boarding pass, which we don't have anymore, but like, yeah. You got to yell to the flight attendant, who could be any gender and say, hey, how far are we from Seagate? Yeah. The move there is to talk to the flight attendant ahead of time, and then he or she will say,

excuse the gentleman in 36C, we're going to let him to the front here. You got it. Yeah, short connection. Bobo's up. Do I get two? Yep. Okay.

This is also a little specific, but I am not a fan of airplane eaters. And like, what I mean by that is you board the plane. People who eat airplanes. Sit down. Sit down and you know, you're kind of getting your shit, you know, together. And the person next to you pulls out a full fucking bag of Burger King and is just sloppily eating it right next to you.

Like what I think airlines need to do is come up with a pre-approved list of in-flight food that you can bring on board. Nuts. You know, I'm not trying to watch somebody. Yeah, nuts. What is it like a sandwich? A Wynas China. A rap. I'm not trying to watch somebody house some Chipotle.

Like this dude on my flight back from Cabo was eating Chipotle. And I was so bothered by it, you know. Couldn't get this Chipotle smell. Couldn't. I was also fucking hungry. But like I saw a clip one time of these two people eating like a crayfish broil on a plane. Not okay. No, there's a line.

It's incredible. There's a line that you have to like, you can eat like any sort of. grabable food like if you can hold it in one hand that's fine like a burrito no you can't do that a couple oysters in my hand another like bow jangles no someone was doing that a fish filet a fish a fish no yeah no uh so that's mine and then this one is also a little specific but i i kind of do this sometimes what i you can only like it's kind of fun to do but it's uh it's snooty first class guy who's kind of getting off by being in first class and watching everyone else bored. You know what I mean?

Just looking at people? Yeah. No, but like kind of the way they're looking at them. This is projection. I think this is like you projected. No, when I'm up in first class, I'm, I'm chilling. I'm, you know, I'm hanging. I look at the people, man.

I kind of stare blankly into the, the midsection of the people. That's fine. I'm talking about the guy that's kind of looking down at you like, yeah, I'm up here. I belong up here. I'm better than you. Hard to look down. You're sitting. Okay.

But go ahead. Yeah, but it's, you'll know when you see it. That's, the guy that gets off on being better, gets off on being in first class. Type of picket. They act like, you know, they've never not been in first class.

Armrest thief. Hey, this is your space. This is my space. You know, it's nothing clearer than like draw an imaginary fucking line in the middle. In fact,

there's an armrest that tells, you where your boundary is and i'm also wide as fuck like i'm built like a rectangle like a large rectangle and i i'm there respectfully like clenching my arms like this to avoid you and you just you're you're you're out there like you're an offensive line bro get down there in the post grind for that that spot bro it's so uncomfortable can i tell you a story that probably won't go over very well sure i just won't tell it very well okay i took a six eight cat to a basketball game who's who's who's Duke the other day. And we have an aisle seat, but I didn't give him the aisle seat because they're my tickets, like, you know, aisle seat. But I seated the right arm rest to him so he could

have it so that I threw my legs out into the aisle. So it's just people being fucking courteous all over the place. Yeah. You know. And in turn, he paid it forward by not standing up the last two minutes because we had an old fellow behind us. He's six foot eight. That's what's all about. You know, people thinking about other people. Making little concessions. That, yeah, that's my new Twitter handle. Okay, making little concessions. Okay, go ahead. Okay, it's me?

Yes, sir. These TSA, you know, when you're going through security, yeah, is that TSA? Are these people cops? Big cop vibe. I'm scared of them. I don't know if they're going to send me to a weird line or something. Imagine you have drugs. Yeah, if I had drugs.

I can't even imagine. I don't have drugs and I'm still very nervous. And they're always like writing on your boarding pass. Like, what's that code? mean. I got a TSA agent who's cool as shit. His name's Andy. He worked at Charlottesville Airport. I haven't seen him a while because I don't travel as much either anymore.

But every time I come through, he'd give me and John Phillips some deer jerky. Madison jerky. We'd house the whole thing on our flight to wherever we'd be going to play like Miami or something. You can eat jerky on a flight. That's allowed. Okay. And he still gives jerky. Like, I'd be going to like a wedding with my wife and he'd be like

I got some tube steak in the back for it. You can just put it on ice. Tube steak. May I amend to the person who says, they're looking at inside my thing through an x-ray and they say that I got too much liquid in the lotion thing. Like my hands, you put me in a hotel room, I guarantee you my hands are dry.

And I like a little lubriderm, you know? Travel with a little lubiderm. That's what that lotion's for, huh? And they're going to tell me I got two ounces, too many, I got to throw it away. Come on, man. You roll up to Andy. Andy used to be like, killed 36 this year.

I'm like, you can't say that. You say whatever you want in this motherfucker, but people don't know you're talking about slaying deer. That's four rounds. You guys want to do one more? Yeah. I got a lot more. I got a lot more. Really specific.

I'm a little mention. Let's throw some out. The guy who's trying to trade you for the aisle to get you into a non-isle. I don't care if you're trying to get next to your wife. I can't give up the aisle to go to a middle. The first guy who gives up his seat to a military member. Because if there's multiple military members,

then we all got to fall in line. You know, you start it. It's like a domino effect. It's like a patriotic domino effect. Then I'm giving up my seat. Have you guys ever witnessed somebody say no to the emergency exit thing? Like you got to have a verbal, yes, I'm cool with it. Has anybody ever been like, nah.

Not going to have, I've never seen it. Never seen it. No one's going to give up extra room. Right. Right. Or the chances that something bad happens. Blow. You know, you just open the door.

Oh, wait, wait, wait, I got a question. Great form for it. Hey, I've never understood the emergency exit or that slide thing. Is that just for if we're like on water? Watch the movie plane with Gerr Butler. Because if like something bad, hey, we need you to open the door. Well, sir, we're 30,000 feet in the air. No, it's not going to go well.

It's when you get down. It's only when we're on the ground. But when you have to like ditch the plane into an island in the Philippines in the middle of a storm. Could we be like a... Even though FAA told you to fly right through it. Can't get to 40,000 feet? I'm at 37,000 feet. You get struck by lightning.

Anyways, it's for situations like that. The door is only for a little on the ground or in the water. Okay. It's not like, hey, we're 500 feet up. Jump. Go. All right, explain this. Like Chris is an asteroid theory, though. Maybe the plane's going down anyway.

Just take a little slide ride down. You all ever been on a touch and go? A touch and go? You land for a second and go right back up. Yep. Yeah. In St. Louis. In St. Louis.

we were supposed to go to Detroit. So what am I doing here? The guy outside who's like, you check your bag here. And I'm like, hold on a minute, player. I don't know. What's the catch?

It looks easy. It's like outside. The guy's like all enthusiastic. It feels like a ticket scalping situation. It's going straight to the pickup truck behind it. Yeah, like something's going on. He's got the uniform. on but I don't know what's going on with that. I got an honorable mention the guy towards the front of

the plane watching a movie on his iPad that's a plane crash. Oh, that's me. Damn, but I kind of like tilted it because I was in the corner because I sure didn't want to see it. It's almost worse, like I said, it's almost worse than watching a sex scene. Yeah. You know, like a plane crash scene and a sex scene. The two things you don't want on TV when you're sitting there in first class. I'll ask you a question. What are you supposed to, so you get a carry on and a personal item, right? you get two bags. What do you do with your personal item? Your carry-on goes in the overhead, right?

Does your personal item go up there? No, underneath the seat. Because I need to access my Adam-O-M-A. That's universal, right? Because on our latest flight, we had multiple people, not in our group, but use both items upstairs. And it was ridiculous. And I asked the flight attendant if I could put my bag in the first class because everyone

was seated in first class. Way to assert yourself, cowboy? And she was like, go to the back. they redeem themselves with the whiskey on the flight yeah worse guy go ahead beau you say you have 30 yeah you're brimming oh i could rattle them off man rattle i wear sandals with no socks hate it yeah it's not great also guy that takes their shoes off on the plane it's not great what about shoes off with just socks though that's okay depending on i'm sorry

seem like a it seemed like a reasonably clean i'm a very clean person i'm a very clean person i I shower before every flight. I wear socks on, you know, on plane that are comfortable. And usually I ditch the shoes if it's a long flight. And I put them right there, orderly like there. And I don't put my fucking foot in the crease in front of me or anything.

I put them right down below my knees. Yeah, I could keep going, man. This is one I like to call outfit guy. Like, who the fuck you're trying to impress, man? Yeah, that's true. Outfit guy should have got drafted. Outfit guy. Like, you know, we know you want to show off, but.

There was an article. somebody came out with over the last couple years because God knows you can write an article about anything you want to complain about. But this guy was like, it's high time we stop dressing like children on planes and treat it like the experience that it is. Okay, hold on. My dad, my dad, uh, like he would be a coat and tie guy on a flight, but it's like a tweed coat. Like he looked like a professor ass in there. But that's fine. Like if that's who you are, you dress like that every day. He was born in 1940. Yeah. You do, yeah. He could tell me about how Britain gave the loophles.

Where were you when Lute Wafah got run out of the gym? Yeah, right. Yeah. He was crawling around. This happened on my flight back. I've been traveling a lot lately. This dude was watching music videos or TikTok or something like that. No headphones.

That's a problem. Try being in the car with Dr. Fax the entire week. Exactly. Exactly. All week. He was like, me and him got until like a deep. DJ battle. You know,

he's turning the music down. I'm turning the music up. He's complaining about the music. He's mad about the music. Then next thing you know, he's like, I just want quiet in here. Five minutes later,

it's like, uh, check out this fat lady that lost a thousand pounds. It's like just TikTok reels over and over and over again. And everybody in the car is like, what the fuck, dude? Oh.

Yeah. Zero. Zero. Zero. loud on the plane with sounds on. Yes, dude. I'm like, oh my God. Fax is a big code breaker when it comes to the phone noise.

Yeah. Yeah. If you're sitting in the window seat, you control the window. Nobody else can say, hey, can you lower that for me? Hey, can you raise that for me? Sometimes there's the window that's kind of, but behind the tweener window is an interesting conversation. The guy behind it.

I agree. But also, I think reasonably on takeoff and descent, you should open the window. in case you have somebody like me who wants to see where we are or if we're crashing or not. Somebody like me might need that. I think you've got to assess the situation because if it's an earlier late flight, people might be sleeping. Yeah. Can I tell you guys something I've never told anybody my whole life when you land,

I've always tried to time it up with, I say it to myself in my head, not out loud. touchdown Virginia and it's just something I'd do with myself my whole life since I was little kid never told a soul now I've told all of you you know

that's so great hit out loud now little things in life yeah maybe I will that's so good it's like a little superstition speaking of a little stition landing do are we pro clappers

anti-cloppers well depending on how the fucking flight went I think sometimes you got to clap. No, don't clap. The flight where we touched down and then took off the St. Louis thing. The plane is expected to land safe. You've got one job. You've got one job.

Yeah, but sometimes it's a harder job than others. You know, like sometimes the pilots like Patrick Mahomes against the bucks. Something goes wrong. The plane gets struck by lightning. Right engines out. You lost avionics. You know? Mm-hmm.

You fly into a flock of geese, which has. happened to us one time on the St. Louis plane ride from San Francisco to St. Louis. The guy thought he hit a Cessna. Yeah. Loki, I hear there's like an autopilot button up there. Do any of y'all have any interest in becoming a pilot? Let me fly you around in a plane if you think it's so easy. I do. Okay.