Green Light with Chris Long - Kyle Long! Hard Knocks Review & Odell's Next Team. Softball, Forrest Gump Hot Take & HS Coaching Situations.

Episode Date: August 12, 2022

(2:18) - Suntory Thirsty Thursday and Willie Nelson Concert. (11:16) - Forrest Gump Hot Take. (32:13) - Coach Kyle and Chris' Softball Team. (39:17) - NFL News: Detroit Lions Hard Knocks Review and Odell Beckham Jr Landing Spot. (1:10:49) - Baseball: LLWS, Vaughn Grissom and Aaron Judge's Home Run Record Push. (1:22:24) - Childhood Nostalgia Babes Draft with Chris Long, Kyle Long and Dr. Fax. Green Light Spotify Music: https://open.spotify.com/user/951jyryv2nu6l4iqz9p81him9?si=17c560d10ff04a9b Spotify Layup Line: https://open.spotify.com/playlist/1olmCMKGMEyWwOKaT1Aah3?si=675d445ddb824c42 Green Light Tube YouTube Channel: https://www.youtube.com/c/GreenLightTube1 Green Light with Chris Long: Subscribe and enjoy weekly content including podcasts, documentaries, live chats, celebrity interviews and more including hot news items, trending discussions from the NFL, MLB, NHL, NBA, NCAA are just a small part of what we will be sharing with you. https://www.greenlightpodcast.com/ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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Tennessee, y'all, too. 1-800-9-9-7-89. Welcome to the Greenlight podcast. We have a full studio today. Chris, Kyle, and Dr. Fax are all going to give some hot takes. We're going to talk a little Forrest Gump. Willie Nelson comes up. We talk softball.

We talk Kyle coaching high school football. And we get into hard knocks. Then we talk Odell where he might land, where he might look the best. We go into baseball. We talk Little League World Series Von Grissom and Aaron Judge's home run tour. And to end the show, we do a nostalgia babe draft. Famous actresses from our childhood,

we're drafting them. Stick around for that, please. It is Thursday. I got Kyle here. I got Dr. Fax here. Cowboy, Kingston, and we just busted open the Sun Tory. You know how Will Compton,

you know, he'll kiss whistlepigs ass, and then whistle pigs, like, here's a bunch of money, you can come toward the facility. We'll give you land. We'll give you land surrounding. our whistle pig distillery. We're going to do the same thing with Suntory.

The bottles down here. Oh, yeah. Good. Good call. Hold the bottle. You want to hold up the bottle? Yeah, let me get some of that. Suntory. Suntory. I know we got some listeners. It's a beautiful bottle. So if you're a listener in Japan, we need you to deliver a message.

We want to go to Japan. We want to go to the distillery. And then we want to go to Toya Lake. Suntory. Sure. We want to go to Toya Lake. It's a volcanic lake. In Japan. It's gorgeous. My favorite kind of lake, Kyle. Beautiful.

Nate, you want to go to Japan, right? I definitely want to go to Japan. Why? 1,000% because I've seen that when black people go to Japan, the people there, I guess they don't see black people a lot, so they just like touch you in amazement. And I think that will be a very cool thing to experience. You really want to feel like an emperor, huh?

I think that'll be fucking awesome. I think it would be more cost effective to just get a hooker state side. No, but if we get this But if you go to Japan Beautiful Deal You can become immersed We can come out there

And like that would be awesome Even more like imagine If we get the deal You know like The shame scene And Game of Thrones Where she's got to walk To the big crowd

It's like that but Positive Like getting showered Instead of rang bells at Yeah So we're gonna go to Japan Nate's gonna be an emperor That actually reminds me

The time Would you do sum? And and people were pulling you, like you were in a tube, and people were pulling you in the kayak through the rapids. That was awesome. You were eating chicken and drinking beer and. Chris and JP.

Yeah, dude. He was like an effort. Sounds like a heavenly dead. Yeah, this guy. It was amazing. He likes to live large. So we might go to Japan and live large. If you're listening at the Suntory distillery,

you can send one of those really nice wedding invitation-looking, like invitations to your distillery. please send it to 2150 Wise Street, WISE, number 5267. Charlottesau, Virginia, 22905. We do get mail here. So you can send like an on parchment and say like you've been summoned.

I bet they have really cool wax seals at the Suntory. Yeah, they do, dude. Yeah, so I need that. All right, so today we got a lot to talk about. We got hard knocks to talk about. We got some NFL news to talk about. Got a little baseball to talk about. Nate, I'm into the little league.

World Series. Yeah. I'm into it, bro. It happened organically. So, uh, Virginia. No, it just, yeah, it's good TV. I'll just say that. Yeah.

All right. So I want to talk about all of that. We also have a nostalgic babes draft today. Uh, we recorded it late in June thinking, um, we might use it in July while I was on vacation. There's a lot of value in there. Did you, by the way? I did, bro. I missed you, bro.

I missed you, yeah. I missed you too, Kyle. He said that second. Did you hear this shit? But you were in Montana. You were in Montana for part of it. I'm not going to lie, Chris. I had a little FOMO.

You did. You texted me. You were like, man, I really missed being on the podcast. But that was before I seen Bull Allen there. And then I really had phone. I was like, I was like, dang.

I was like, maybe it's just all. I'm not going to push to come out there. He's probably out there with his family. Like, I don't want to do that. Then I seen Buck. You know,

here's what you could do. Like Bo was out there for the conquering Killy reunion. Oh, he climbed. So he climbed Kili. So all you have to do is climb Kilimanjaro. They don't touch you in Tanzania. It's not like you're going to get treated like an emperor. I'm scared of that.

But I'll let you know after this Maui trip because I'm doing some hiking there. Okay. And I know it's not even going to compare to Killy. Easy way to get to, but it's an easy way to get to the next Killy reunion, which is going to be a monty. Do you have Maui connects? All right. So here's the deal.

We've got nostalgia babes, the draft. from late June. I was looking back, it's gonna be on the back end of this pop. I was looking back at this sheet of paper here, the graphic that Reed had ready to rock and roll when we release this thing, you know, to ask all the people online who they think won the draft, they never think I win.

No problem. You've got a solid draft. My draft was solid, okay. I'm looking at this thing. First thing I wanna highlight is Kyle drafted a cartoon. That's all I'll say. So no spoilers. Y'all got to hear the draft yourself.

A lot of value there. And I think he's going to get a lot of love for that because I think we have like... You thought about it? We have odd followers. So I think they're going to like appreciate that. There's nothing odd about that, buddy. Okay.

Well, Kyle took a, took a cartoon in the first for that matter. Okay. And then your missus irrelevant was awesome. Your David Vibora was a real great pick, Kyle. A lot of value there. Really great pick. Kyle's stick around for Kyle's seventh round pick we started this draft and we were supposed to do like five rounds and dudes were just like all in on

begging for more people more people this beats Googling all these babes I love let's talk about I loved it yeah so um sorry Meg I love you um these women are all women from the 90s before we met some are still alive some are still around um never existed I haven't met oh I did meet one of them I did meet one of them I did meet one of them in real life. So yeah, anyways, Reid picked a dead actress. Everything was kind of like,

everything went according to plan. You'll enjoy this draft, y'all. Okay. This is why I came back this week. I came back to Virginia because Willie Nelson was the 8th of August. That's why I traveled across the country with my family. We were sitting

on Flathead Lake. It was pristine. The weather was perfect. It was like Norman Rockwell. shit and um i was like we got to get back to see willy nelson at the ting wireless pavilion in charlottesville so we came home this was the kids first concert so they will always uh be able to say like oh what was your first show you ever saw what was willy nelson in charlottesville in charlotsville so it was 120 degrees under that fucking uh under that pavilion thing how they do how the boys do the boys did great i think they had a heat heat stroke uh i was doing some of

of the symptoms um but we we weren't going to leave you know because there were old people in that motherfucker like i was worried people he played for well over an hour um and you know like to him it must be like with texas heat this is nothing so big flex by willie just going out there and ripping it for uh you know 60 90 minutes whatever it was and uh and it was great man it was awesome first show there were people acting like it would like we were leaving and there was a we thought there were our kids were the only kids there and when we left there was a three-year-old in the back of a town car standing up like at the light like no seatbelt nothing just like like like it was like willie was it was was 1974 yeah dude redheaded stranger just i love it it was like a wood-sided oldsmobile

it was yes yes kyle it was all you're getting it because it was all-american night dude we went to uh macdonalds at like 10 p.m we all got hamburgers afterwards including the three-year-old we're like Luke you want to make flurry he was like Anna hamburger okay I was like did you smoke it Willie Nelson did you rip my pen so um yeah it was awesome like I love Willie man I think it's really cool to be able to see um somebody like that in person you know I've seen them a couple times now but I'll always cherish this one because my kids first concert is going to be Willie Nelson they're going to thank me for that one day this is pretty fucking cool and you listen to a shit ton of Willie. You've loved Willie forever.

Do the boys listen to him because of you? Did they know the words? They do any of the songs? They know, like, the whole Shotgun Willie's song. They love Redheaded Stranger. They love the album. You know, like, they're great singing songs, like, to your kids. Like, you know, some of them are like, you know, I put my kids to bed singing some

Willie Nelson shit. So they know the words, but their favorite song is Whiskey River, Take My Mom. Okay. So they kind of butcher the hook there. And they think it's fun? They think it's fun. The whiskey river's taking. mom yeah yeah it's uh it's actually savinian blanc river that usually takes mom okay yeah i can understand

where that comes from this the jersey enter yeah yeah yeah yeah there's a lot of that so there's a lot of that so anyways shout out to willie playing in about 100 degrees heat all right so kingston had a take you ready to drop this take on these guys i can't wait yesterday me cowboy and kingston we're driving to farmville virginia to look at furniture and tauts Why? Because, yeah, well, not all antiques in their comedy. You weren't going to the Longwood football training camp. Maybe they could use a no-line coach, too. We'll get to that college coach in this fall.

Anyways, we're going down there because the studio's changing. We're going to have a brand new studio here as in like we're moving downstairs. There's going to be more room, more room to play. Me and facts, we're just talking about that's going to be tight. So we had to go get some furniture. And in the car ride, we talked about a lot of stuff. Started chatting about some movies on the ride home. this didn't even feel like we were chatting about movies this just felt like he has an axe to grind

like we were talking about like the the little league world series and he was like i think forst gump's overrated played out not overrated i actually think it's a bad movie it's considered to be really good i think it's shit and furthermore tom hanks yeah massively overrated actor plays the same guy in every movie you think so so what other actors are you willing to to go out on a limb and say that about because there are a few that I'm willing to say that about. What's your one? Ryan Gosling does it a little bit, but then he'll throw in a rom-com every now and again. Like there was a stretch with Ryan Gosling and you know how much I love Ryan Gosling.

He's the best. I had a scorpion jacket, the whole thing. I've got the soundtrack and the Impala. But Ryan Gosling, for a stretch of like three years, delivered like two lines. He curbstomped more guys in Asia than he delivered lines for like a stretch of like, Who's the dude? Keanu Reeves. I went to Texas.

McConaughey? Yeah, him. I would say him. You think he plays the same thing in every movie? I think he's just like overrated. I think he's just like a typical good-looking, like, white guy. Pretty boy white guy.

Oh, but yeah. It's a racially charged. Racial-charged. Like, I just think that's what he is. Tom Cruise plays the same person in everything. Keanu Reeves, too. Yeah, I'm not that big of a Tom. With a guy.

or without a gun. Keanu Reeves, hold on, guys. We've got to pump the brakes here. We're making some really... I'm having a take right now. Okay, let's talk it out. I think Keanu Reeves,

while is a great actor... He's a great actor. He's the same... Yeah. With a gun or without a gun. And brings Napoleon to the fucking... He was doing some really advanced shit for a surfer 17-year-old.

...five people. I said, with a gun, without a gun. Same guy. Very cool, under pressure. Okay, okay. I disagree. Matthew McConaughey. I disagree.

Dallas Buyers Club and like what? Stop. Stop. Oh, see now he's not. Stop. Yeah, he's just doing that because he's just doing that because, yeah. But straight up. My favorite Denzel movie is flight.

And I think, hey, hey, I just want to say this about Denzel. You can't even say what a straight thing. They're all different. All the roles are different. Oh, they are. They are. I was just like to say like, like, like, Drunk pilot,

crooked cop, you know, Guards a white kid in Mexico. Football coach. Football coach. Demon Hunter. She should have been on my list. The mom.

He donating his fucking bone marrow. Like, how many roles do you need? People who think Denzel's roles are all the same. Okay? Like, they're all different. That's another nostalgic babe, Chris.

Fences, huh? Another nostalgic babe is the white mom from, Denzel's bodyguard role in Mexico. Oh yeah, yeah, yeah. For a man on fire. I can't remember who the girl was. She was pretty.

She was pretty gal. I'm sure. Speaking of pretty gals, Robin Wright in fucking Forrest Gump is just such a stunner, man. So she's standing on that staircase and won't marry him. I don't blame him. I don't blame him. I don't, but yeah.

Well, hold on. We'll get back to that. And full circle here. You were talking about, we were talking about fences. Bubba is in fences. Bubba's also from from St. Louis, the actor. Bubba Gump. I was looking him up,

he was checking his IMDB out last night. So this might be stupid. What was the other claim? Hold on, Matthew McConaughey. Okay. Really quickly. Can we poke holes in that? Okay.

This might be really stupid. But let me ask this. Does Bubba from that, does Bubba from that, does Bubba Gump shrimp have anything to do with like the chain food? Yeah, I was curious. You guys. You guys are inspired by the movie.

You guys are thoughts. So do you think he gets? Do you think he gets any type of royalties or anything? Like, no? No, the creator of the movie. Oh, yeah, yeah, the movie. It's a unique movie because it takes you through so many eras in history, so many times in history, important times in history.

And over-simplifies them in a way that's... That's what I like about it. It's almost like the Bible. Yeah, no, no, no, New Testament. It's like the New Testament. The book was like the Old Testament, evidently. It was like we really, we really dug into something. It takes you everywhere, takes you through everything, has a main character.

I'm not going, I think Forrest Gump, to me, it's impossible for me. I went back and watched some scenes last night. It's impossible. Yeah, I was like 10.30 and I was like, Meg was asking me like really important questions about this house that we're like we're doing construction a little bit right now. And I was like, Meg, I got to work, man. Like, I have a job. Like I'm watching the Black Panther party scene. And then she went upstairs and then she went upstairs and she walked back downstairs and here.

She's going to hear like, uh, I'm not a smock, man. know what love is. That boy's a running fool. Remember he ran through town and that old guy at the diner was like, that boy's a running fool. Who's it the coach? He goes,

he is the dumbest son of a bitch I've ever seen, but that boy can run. Hey, my favorite scene, though, rewatching Forrest Gump to the point where I didn't, I was so shaken, I didn't know what happened.

Was when Gary Seneas Lieutenant Dan was on the edge of the shrimp boat he was sitting on the edge And he was like Hey Forrest I never thanked you for saving my life And then he just fucking jumped

To the Gulf of Mexico And started back stroking away from the boat I was like no Gary You know like I thought he was I couldn't remember in the plot He was committing to him I thought he was just He had made his peace with God

and Forrest was confused. You think Forrest was standing there thinking like, yeah, everything's okay. Like, Forrest was like, he's doing his head. He was hands on his hips. Hey, and Gary Sinise was fucking jacked in that movie. Dude, he had to be, right? Wheeling around. Yeah, dude, he was yoked.

So anyways, Matt, it's impossible for me to separate the first impression of that movie on my childlike mind. That's exactly right. It's a kid's movie. well no it's just that I saw it when I was a kid and it was like it's it's a kid's movie take on real life yeah which you can say what you want about it I mean I read some really it's a one size fits all movie I didn't realize I mean there's all types of pieces online that they go really deep into this movie I got to rewatch it to see if there's any

truth but watching the clips got to say was really impressed with how it was holding up some of it but you know some really dark scenes yeah like he walked in and his mom was like I'm dying there was like no warm up more like Elvis was fucking his mom was Elvis fucking his mom yeah I forgot about Elvis fucked his mom remember Elvis taught him out of dance like a black guy

and then he fucked his mom no I don't remember that I thought Elvis was just there Ultra vulture, shout out. Oh, my God, Elvis. W. Riz. That's so good. That's so good.

That's the craziest Riz ever. Let me teach your son how to dance. And then let me get them draws. Bro, imagine some of the chicks. How many chicks do you think are still walking around today that Elvis gave that work? Man. Like, that are talking about it in the old folks home. Like, Elvis gave me dick.

Man alive. Maybe a few in Charlestville. No, dude. All right, so anyways, up 29. Here was the thing that really shocked me watching those scenes again. Sixth Sense Kid. He's the one who popped out of Jenny. Yeah, Haley Joel Osmond.

Haley Joel Osmond, aka Wilcompton's look-alike, according to me, Harry. Okay, okay. I kind of get it. Child, Haley Joel Osmond. It's like a fluffier version. Yeah. So, yeah. But anyways, that was his first gig there.

Good gig. I see dead people. Right out of the world. boom huh yeah dude he went from jenny's living room no dad just some like blocks playing jenny was all coked up this is your dad absent minded not present no wonder he was so what was he playing games huh was he playing video games or what was he doing watching tv he was just like they were watching like cartoons he was playing halo cartoons they were watching the newest season of tom and jerry and he was playing with like blocks that were choking hapaw patrol no this was the

Hades or seven. I'm not saying it's not like rewatchable at all. It's just wildly overrated. Okay. And then last thing. Yeah, that's the best way to stand. That's how coaches stand. Why does he stand like that? Hands on his lower back.

After Jenny told him like she wouldn't marry him, he just went out on the porch like this. He was brooding. Bro. I love that movie actually. Fuck you, Matt. I'm like, that's, you know what I'm thinking now? I've enjoyed talking about this movie.

So, he's on. Overrated, not overrated, you tell us. Matt is like a fucking, I stand on the right side. He's like a Huffington Post writer. I avoided all my left. You should write for Puffington Post. That's who writes for TMZ. No, no, no.

He writes for Slate or something. I feel like Matt. Slate. I feel like Matt. Deadspin. I feel like. Deadspin's just mad at the world. I feel like Matt read like a, Okay, can we talk about that real quick?

What's that? Deadspin, you're basically, you're a tabloid. You realize that? If you post people's, one time Deadspin... I wouldn't even call it a dick. Kyle got out of the fucking cold tub one day and was in the locker. It was after the game.

It's hard to be ready. Oh, and your grades? I had just pulled off my compression shorts. Oh, tell you about naked. Okay, so we did... Hold on. Let me tell the story. Tell the story. So we played the Washington football team.

Your dick, your story. I was beat up. Monday night football. Matt Ionitis gave me. the business. Hump moves, rip moves, Jonathan Allen. He was a dog. He was a beast. He's a beast. He's a real beast. And I was in the locker room afterwards. We broken down.

I went straight to my locker and we won the game, close game. And I remember I was in my locker right here and Tariq Cohen's locker was over there facing this way. And he had his phone. He had his phone in his locker dancing on, you know, Instagram Live or whatever. Mike Tomlin's talking about it. And I immediately pulled off my pants and my compression shorts and my cock hadn't really... You weren't ready. Please don't laugh.

No, because the way you said, this is traumatic. This is traumatic. You were like, my cock hadn't extended from its bay. Yeah, it was still just like... It was like projecting itself. It was getting out of bed.

I was getting out of bed. Well said. Yeah. And I threw the towel over my shoulder and I walked in front of... That's what you get. That's your first... That's what you get because...

I don't get anything there. Oh, Liman, do that. Can you call time out? Can I call time out? That's a good point. It's a good point. You're victim blaming. Wrap your towel around the waste.

We are in the only, we are in the only place that we can be where you feel safe, where you feel like after the game, you have two minutes before the media comes, you can do whatever you want, get to the shower quickly. You don't expect for there to be a live camera. Now, I don't. In the locker room after a game? No, I don't. You're madden.

So I want to be very clear about this, though. I want to be very clear about this because I love Tariq Cohen, and it was a rookie move and a rookie mistake and he's owned up to it, apologized immediately. He's your dog. And that's my dog. You know what I mean? I love to read.

But I think it's a story that we can laugh about for ages. And there was a lot, you know, I didn't like the way I presented. They didn't have a lot of hang. It had some dip, but no hang. You're never ready, dude. At home in the summer in Virginia,

I walk around ready for any shoot, Only fans, whatever. I'm ready. I can make some money. Yeah, we do. Yeah. I know. We do all right.

But here's the deal. If the podcast business goes under. We're good. You're not in trouble either. I'm assuming. So anyways, now that we're talking Cox, hey, here's the deal. Mine wasn't ready.

So here's the deal. So it gets out there. You know, like most people are like, I'm not going to retweet some guy's dick, right? Some real person's dick. Somebody who's out there, you know, gathering tau protein for my entertainment,

I'm also going to post this dick online after the game. Okay. So there's that. But then if you're like a publication, you know, you're kind of like, hey, what am I? Am I like a tabloid? Am I like a muckraker?

Am I a muck raker? Or do I, am I like a journalistic hub? I think it's the former with Deadspin, dude. I don't know what they were in the past. But I was like, dude, they actually did an article. And I'm sitting there and thinking, not always this is fucked up, but do you think if it wasn't a pro football player, this would have been okay? Like if this was a female athlete, it would be okay.

No. We can sue Deadspin. It shouldn't. We could sue deadspin. We could sue the fuck out of deadspin. I should sue deadspin. No, you shouldn't. You should take the high road.

Tomorrow. No. Don't take the high road. What? Hell you, suit up. Fuck that. Buy the high road.

Fuck that. Whatever money they made. Whatever. My parents had to see that. Ads and whatever money they made on all your teachers. Everybody I ever see now in the back in the back of my head, everybody I ever see. If they meet me and they Google my name, it'll take them to an article. My wife's friends all saw my dick.

You know what I mean? Tough scene. Yeah, dude. Put yourself, I know it's funny. No, no, it's not. It's funny. It's one of the worst things of my life, too. But it's traumatic, and the only way I can get over the trauma is to laugh about it and talk about it. And this is real trauma.

No, I know. It's like a nightmare scenario. It is a nightmare scenario. My buddy Brad Sal, who I played with on the Bears, he always said, this is before my dick was on Instagram. He essentially said, my worst fear is somebody pulling on my pants when I'm going down in a pile and my dick falls out on TV. He was not ready. He was like,

he's like, I'm just not built for that, Kyle. Brad's out. So anyways, the whole point is like when you post shit like that, you can't then, you know, be moral high ground,

uh, journalist. Uh, and I know that there's a whole host of journalists there, but I'm like, you really had to. It's Thursday night. Like there's,

you really need this story where you're like, here's this guy's dick. And I thought it was crazy. I was getting ready to go to bed. I'll never forget where I was because this was a terrible night. Kyle because I'm your big brother. And I was like, God damn it, dude. I get on the bus.

And I have no idea, right? Like, this happened while I was in the locker. I didn't even check my phone yet. I'm probably, like, ripping my pen on the way of the bus. Just like, I got beat that day, but we won. And everybody was happy on the bus and laughing. When I got to the back where the alignment where they were like, dude, you got to check Twitter right now.

That's a nightmare. I said, what did I say during the game out loud that got picked up by a mic? And they were like, no, no, no, it's your dick. And I was like, oh my God, my dick. I was like, when did my dick? When did my dick become an issue? And I looked on my Twitter and it was like all over like Tariq Cohen Instagram live. And then 10 minutes later, five minutes later,

Tariq walked to the back and apologized and was like, I'm so sorry, you know. He was, he was so terrified. He was horrified for me. Everybody on the bus was laughing except for me and him. And we were both mortified for different reasons. Well, here's the deal. First off, nobody remembers that. Okay, really. It's an aside. Yeah, I know. It's funny. But second, like, like, I was getting ready to go to bed, dude. We had young kids and stuff. So I was really fucking tired. I was maybe stressed out that night. And I'm always stressed out when you play is I'm always so nervous for you. Like,

I'm like dad. Dad's way worse because he's like, he can't even deal with it. But yeah, I want you to play well. And I want you to be healthy. So you get through the game. I know you got beat a couple times and I know you're stressed. And then like I'm getting ready to go to bed and I'm getting ready to text you and just be like, keep your head up, bro. Like, and then out of left field, PFT comment or text me is like, you need to get on Twitter and see this. And I'm like, are you fucking around? Like, because it's PFT. And that's how I learned about your dick was from PFT. Good guy. Good guy for looking out. Yeah, dude. So I get on there and I see it and I felt like so fucking mad. I was just like, dude like this is a fucked up world

and we get outraged all the time right rightfully so about other people's privacy and you know like you know people being sexualized and all this stuff they're sexualizing my brother I'm a fetish now Thursday night yeah he's they fetishized me still continually

the messages I got from that point forward from certain crowds are unmatched oh really what kind of crowd all kind of crowds the number to yeah all but the niche crowds like the real specific genre bear chicago bear yeah have you thought about

releasing a better visual since you were only photographed in a calendar my wife my wife and i have talked about uh the potential of monetizing um doing an only fan doing an only fans i have a contract since that night with mag that if anything ever happens to me like that not that it would yeah because i'm no longer in a locker room but like say i'm just i get pantsed at a fucking county fair. And things aren't looking right. I get to fucking fluff and make, and release a new one. Whoops.

Yep. You know what I mean? Sell it. Yeah. No, but no, just because you got, I don't want to be misunderstood. Sell it now. Sell the autobiographical dick pick. Respectfully. Deadsp-Fuck deadspin. Respectfully. Sell it to him for a million. Fucking, uh, the fucking smut,

smut, smut. Hulk Hogan. He made so much money on his sex tape. I am very curious. Well, you're not Hulk Hogan. How is a lot. How many views do you think that's been got from that, though? A lot. How many Zoom? How many Zooms? How many Zooms did they get?

Oh, man. I was name searching you until five in the morning, dude. I was in bed just like, okay. We're through it. That felt good. That was good. That was good. Yeah.

Can I ask you guys to do something? Can you search Tommy Lee on Twitter right now, please? Oh, he's trending right now? He is trending. Another dick video? Because he was, he, he, he, he didn't have a small one. What happened? Okay.

Oh, does, is he, uh, I think Matt just saw it. Oh my God. Did he leak something? Kind of. Okay. On purpose. I'm trying to get. You don't want to.

Oh, it's just his dick. Bro, we've been in locker rooms for years. I'm not like, who cares? people are so afraid of being accused of being gay like it's ridiculous I'm like bro

it's just the guy's dick he dropped in oops as the caption and is this is this like a big W for him Tommy Tommy Lee is just totally what's going on in Tommy Lee's life that he was like

here's my dick it's a rollout it's a rollout it's a new rollout no there was a TV show about him and Pam Anderson and in that the guy that played him

His penis was like an animated character that would be talking, and it wasn't, like, incredibly flattering. So maybe he's trying to say that that casting job was not a... He's doing what you just said. He's doing exactly what you just said. Hey, respect. And, hey, he did it the best way. He autobiographically dig. That's what I'm saying, dude.

I don't need anybody slander in my piece. I know what I'm, like, I know what I'm working with. That's good. So, you know, so vote a contract. So, like, so would you pick that angle? I don't know what angle That's a cool angle It has to be

That's like a MySpace angle All right cool All right good good All right great great And now to the podcast Hey Kyle Yes I want to apologize about softball now

I didn't think about What about softball? I haven't heard anything of it Please Kyle You've already tweeted about it Okay So I'm joining softball league Okay

Okay and Kyle Rightfully so 35 and overall Obviously. Yeah. That's all it was. And there's a fucking height limit and a weight limit and like a talent limit. Like I clearly you don't want to win games.

One of the bylaws of our softball team is that like we can't have anybody that was drafted by major league baseball. Okay. You know, I guess we're making up bylaws. Well, this would be like me going and being like, I'm going to play flag football. It's a safety issue. It's a safety. I'm willing to bet that you wouldn't be the best flag football player on your team. No, it's a different sport.

But you know, like in spirit, it's kind of like. Oh, yeah, you're here. Over, under, how many home runs is your brother going to hit over? How many games are there? That's what I asked him. Let's say there's. If there's 10 games, I think he hits eight home runs. 10 or 15?

If he hits 10 games, seven plus. I used to hit the ball far. If you'd lob a little fucking softball up there, he's going to hit it a long way. If you throw me a fastball, bro, Kyle will tell you, when I, when, if somebody threw me a fastball, it was a, it was a problem. Yeah. The problem was the two and the three. The spinny stuff.

fingers, the three fingers, you know? I just don't feel like Chris is going to do well in softball. I think he'll enjoy it. I'm going to rake. And here's the problem. I didn't. I'll come watch with my daughter and my wife. But I just want to tell you this.

Thank you for your support. I just want to tell you this. I never get invited to golf. If there's, oh, Chris, that's bullshit. I didn't get invited to coach high school football. I find out today. I'm like, hey, what time can we, hey, Kyle, what time can we ever? So, hold on, hold on.

This is, this is my penis. I love how this is being reversed on me. This is my penis. hear this i'm being reversed upon kyle and i hate to involve you too now read but kyle i'm i'm i'm trying i'm like this is going to be awesome we're kyle in like it's going to be a great day it's a great day we're having a great podcast is great we're having a fucking we're having a blast you know what apology accepted gris no okay so anyway here's what happened i'm like kyle can we do it three and he's like yeah we can do it three and then a little bit later he's like

oh i forgot i got a staff meeting i'm like staff meeting what other podcast company are you are you doing a kevin durant uh players tribune staff meeting like you know Derek jeter yeah so anyways uh i'm like what the fuck are you doing he's like i'm on a high school football staff i'm like which high school football team he's like our high school football team and i'm like that's interesting yeah i didn't get the invite to that so you know i'm sorry eye for an eye the whole world is not blind so if okay well my My parting statement will be, if there are ever any nights where you can't make it, call me. Likewise.

And I'll, that's a great trade-off. I can coach the whole line. And you can pretend to be me and I'll come back for you. Well, my answer for him, Kyle, is I'm going to scour the league and find another team that maybe has an opening spot and I'm going to hop on their team. I like that. I'm totally with that, dude. In fact, I was going to do something. Obviously, I can't do it for him because of the whole clause.

I'll be a more inclusive team. But I can try to, I can try to see if we have any spots. What do you think about that? That's hilarious what he just did. Literally over my head. He went Kyle Murray. Hold on. Low to high.

Hey, can you go into pro baseball reference and see if Nate Collins was drafted at any time? I know he threw out a first pitch for the White Sox, but the White Sox didn't draft. That's great. Kyle was a fucking game hitter. Hey, we're going to talk about baseball a little bit. Okay. Okay. But let's talk about football right now.

Okay. All right. Kyle, I'm a player. I'm one of your players. You deliver a coaching point. Like maybe get your hands inside or whatever the fuck y'all say over there. So you get your second step in the ground. Yeah.

Get your second step in the ground. A leverage. And then the kid's like, what the fuck do you know? Yeah. I'll say, well, clearly more than you. that's what you're going to say yeah okay that's pretty good all right what about social media yeah kids on social media tweet we're gonna beat the dog shit out of christ church i'm not in charge social media so you're not gonna you're not gonna like regulate no it has to be more personal you go

on social media and the kid tweets we got this new doofy looking coach that used to play in the league who thinks he's hot shit i'll say great i'll kick his ass great All right, let's channel that energy. I'm a parent. Let's channel that. I'm a parent. I'm a parent. Okay.

Hey, Kyle. I was just calling to see if you had any time to talk. Maybe we get coffee or lunch. I think my kid's more suited for his own scheme. And I notice you guys run more gap scheme. And I can tell that like my kid's kind of getting left behind. I was wondering if there's something we could do about that. Hey, Ross.

It's Coach Long calling you. You know, it's really not my deal of politicking. So if you'd like to bring me some coffee, that'd be great. That's it? That's it? You're not going to last long because you've got to deal with parents. Okay. All right.

All right. Last one. That's my Bill B voice. Fighting. Yeah. Fighting in practice. Can't happen. First thing I'm going to say,

you used to fight in practice, I saw it on the internet. If there's a fight in practice, I'll tell them that a better man than me, one of the greatest to ever play the game by the name of Julius Peppers, put me aside after my. my first fight at Hallis Hall. And it was a player's only meeting. And he said, no more fighting. And then he sat back down.

Got to love Pep, yo. When Pep spoke, everybody was. He never talked. When Pep spoke, everybody was, yo. He goes, yo, no fighting. And he sat down. And everybody was like, yes, sir. Psalm 1.

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And in Michigan, 1-800-7-1-17. Tennessee, y'all 2, 1-8009-9-7-89. So Coach Kyle, we're going to talk some football here, Coach Kyle. Yep, okay. All right. First things first, James White, retired, great teammate, great dude, and Super Bowl Hero. So I don't know where I'd be without James White, man. Yeah, needless to say, if he doesn't score that touchdown,

if he didn't do all that stuff he did on third down and such, that year. Heroic. And the Super Bowl performance was like otherworldly. I don't know where I would be, dude. Think about all the history he helped make. Think about all the people's careers he helped make. I mean, like, when you go to New England, people say like Tom Brady got your ring or whatever and like, yeah, that's true.

But there's also a ton of great players there. that do their jobs. I mean, it's like super cliche, but James White had a job, and he always did it to the best of his ability, and he did it on the biggest stage to the best of his ability, and that's why I have probably two rings.

I wouldn't have kept playing if we even win that game. Like, you just think about some of your teammates. That's like a vibe change for life. That's a life vibe change. You're like, oh, the current is flowing that way. I'm going to keep riding it. James White made it possible for me to be a podcast. Because I sure wouldn't want to talk

into a fucking microphone. That's why you like the James River. I love James White. In fact, I'm going to give him equity in the fucking company or something. That's like Super Bowl points right there. Dude, it's incredible. Like, he just was so money in that situation. Great guy.

Only walk off touchdown in the history of the Super Bowl. Holy shit. That's so cool. So, yeah, great guy. Let's play the Hunger Games. A whistle for James White. So Hard Knocks. Do you guys remember watching Hard Knocks in camp?

Absolutely. I remember seeing at the end of the night when you get out of meetings and you have like 20 minutes where people hang out in the common area before they go to their rooms. That's what people were watching. Best memory ever is Giants Camp. Hard knocks is at the Jets. We're opening up MetLife Stadium, the first game in MetLife Stadium, preseason Giants first Jets, and it's when Victor Cruz goes off.

And it's all the backstory. and then like, like, they're like, is it? I remember that episode. They're calling him a kicker. They're like, what is this, a kicker out here in Whiteout? They're about to run a trick play, and it's Cruz. And it's like those two plays where he catches one pass. They didn't know he was.

80 yards. And he just blew up. And the backstory is we're, we're rookies all together. We're rooming together. And it's funny because before that game, me and Cruz, we would battle like on our Twitter followers. Like, yo, I got 2,000 followers. and Cruz at the time maybe had like 1,500. And we would be like, laughing, like going that back and forth.

Out of the mud, man. During that game, LeBron tweets him. Tweet him. And his Twitter goes from like sub, like, under like 5,000 or like 5,000-ish to like 80K. In one night. And a night. Just off of LeBron. In a night.

And I remember we won that game. And all the vets, because we were staying in Albany, all the vets, got to stay the night in the city but all the rookies had to get on the bus to drive all the way back to Albany and I just remember this sitting there me and Cruz like that's when he went off

because yeah like he went off and like I personally I played well too so we were just like both being from that area being like dang we didn't get to stay home how about getting like an 80,000 follower bump and then having to go back and get your curfew checked like two hours later

you're just in your room It's connected in New York. It's connected. I remember I was year three and I was an all pro and I was in camp and there were John Fox. It was like a week and a half in. He was announcing which years get off. You know, they put the projector up and they're like and then he had my year was going to be like,

I had the night off and he made like a last minute. He looked up and he made eye contact with me. Yeah. And he scratched the year off. God damn it. And I was like, and Cutler turned around. I was like, did you see that? God damn.

I think Cutler was like, keep Kyle. Right, right, right. Yeah, that's a good, that's a good brother. He turned around to be like, that's a good big brother too, though. Fucking dick, that's a good big brother to make sure, like, to know that would probably be dangerous to let you out of camp. Yeah.

It was really dangerous. Usually when you got let out of camp, I'll never forget, like in Mill, we were in Mechwan, Wisconsin at Concordia University. But me and Vibora and all the rookies, like, we looked ahead to our day off and got a driver into, into Milwaukee like that's on destination great town it's super drunk because we're all pen up and we want to party we get there we get a whole bunch of booze we start pre-game and next thing you know i

wake up at 7 a.m i never made it out like no one made it out like we were so tired from camp we started drinking and then just passed out on the couch dude so like you know as bad as you want to get out of camp it's really like once you get out you just sleep are looking for a bed yeah you just find a bed you just want to go home and game yeah yeah and like your normal or hang out or just or you watch hard knocks bro how about when you get out of camp and you're like when I get out of here I'm going to appreciate every bit of freedom I have like in the first weekend or like the first week you're like man this is easy football is easy now and then it just wears off like week seven you complain about week five again yes yeah week five yeah so so hard

knocks I'll say this this is a really good episode I was told it was one of the best ones you know in recent memory. I enjoyed it. The lions are going to be like stars. And you just said this about Cruz. Like, people are, like stars are born on Hard Knocks

because they become like TV characters. Yep. And if you can back it up like on the field and just play like decent, like HBO and Hard Knocks does a real good job. portraying a good player. But like of making that show not only about like you can not know anything about football and watch that show and still appreciate some of the sub-

characters, whether it's players, coaches, and things that are going on. Like I was telling you, I'm watching this with my girl and my girl, she watches football, but like she's not like really into football, but when you kind of see it on a different scale, like, yo, there's a lot of guys that are like really scratching and clawing for a couple of spots. And like in the first scene of the new hard knocks, the coach is saying the rules, his rules. And he basically says, like don't be overweight and like me as being an ex-player like that's so normal it's so normal to hear that but for a female to hear that like wait wait wait like what does he mean like don't be overweight and like i had to explain to her like yo you have a set weight range where you cannot

be over it or you're just going to get fined and they put you in the bod pod when you first report and they find your entry statistics, body fat, everything. And either your weight or your body fat has to maintain a certain weight. Yep. Or you get fine money. I'm explaining to an adult that they're going to knock on your door every night at 11 o'clock and, you know, wake you up if you went to bed at 10.30. A strength coach is going to peek his head in your room.

To make sure that you didn't climb out the window. I got practice at 7 this morning. I'm an adult. You know what I mean? Most of us are asleep in camp by 1045. So when you're knocking on the door at 11, it's like you're a fucking nuisance. But these guys are going to be, you know, like you can tell it's a likable team. They have a very likable staff, right?

Okay, like after that first padded practice with Dan Campbell, I come in. I'm a big fan of the guy like everybody else at this point. But since the beginning, like his sound bites never bothered me. I can kind of tell when I look at a coach, is he real or not? Real versus fake. Yeah. Because we know, right? Fans don't know that.

Sorry. Media people don't know that. Not the way we do. I saw Dan Campbell film and I knew. After that practice, yeah. He got was huge. Yeah, he played hard. Yeah.

So after that practice, he's breaking the team down and he's like kind of leveling with them about putting them in pads. It's something that I don't think is necessary. But I understand that maybe they went really hard that day. He comes from a Sean Payton school of thought. You know, the 40 updowns. Greg Williams coming from New Orleans made us do 40 updowns. So he was the same way.

Greg didn't do the fucking updowns. He pushes. these guys. But he also wants them to understand there's a point, there's a method, and that above all else, he's thinking about them. And when he says it, he follows it with, you have to trust me. And I can't tell you

how many coaches say, you have to trust me and it rings hollow. I can tell just listening to Dan that what he's saying is true. He has a plan. He cares. And if a coach gives a fuck about me, all right, let's

walk through hell, dude. You know, It doesn't matter. We'll walk through health for a month. If I really believe you care about me and you'll throw me a bone when you need to and you're gonna do enough to get us ready, but you know it's hard. You're a player, you know it's hard.

I trust you. I do. And his staff, I trust his staff. I'm not saying they're gonna be the best coaching staff in the league, but what he's done, assembling all those great former players, even the ones you haven't heard of played a decade in the league, okay?

To play like a decade, nine, 10, 11 years in the league. Campbell played 11 years. It's fucking, it takes a lot of good work habits. It takes a lot of knowledge of the game and it takes, it takes a lot of resilience. Resiliency, resilience? Is there any stats on if he's like the first like head coach to assemble

that many past players? It's the biggest they said 83 or 85 years of combined experience among those coaches is the biggest. As players. Yeah, as players. That's insane. They put in a lifetime of experience. I'd love to see the chief's numbers for that.

And I think for him, that's putting a potential, like, nice, like, stamp for him as a coach of, like, look at what I'm doing. And, like, if he can put this together and they actually work out. And for ex-players that maybe want to get into coaching. That's the big one. That if a coach like him is taking a chance and being like, hey, if we can make a guy end up understanding how to play the game in his position, I can make him understand how to coach and coach kids up, even if he doesn't fully understand X's and O's,

because I feel like that's maybe the more intimidating thing as a retire player. You feel like, hey, maybe I don't know how to coach better than someone else, so I don't want to try to get a job or I don't want to try to step into this realm just yet. But seeing this and seeing how he's running his team, I think that that'll give a lot of retired guys maybe more confidence to jump into it. Well, I think it's cool because it is intimidating, as you said, but also like on top of that

his coaching staff is very diverse. You know, like he has black position coaches all over the, and guys that played. Yep. And you know, like we've got so many great future

NFL coaches playing football right now that don't even, it's an afterthought to them because the access points aren't necessarily there and the lifestyle kind of sucks sometimes. But when your head coach is a former player

and you're a former player, I'll tell you, nothing made me miss football more than hearing those guys talk like just I know deuce like I've me and deuce used to bullshit you know he was walking around Aaron Glenn he's like like he's just

walking circles around Aaron Glenn he's like why are you circling me like Eric Led's like what the fuck are you doing dudes are you walking around me like he's just been looking at his playbook because these guys they don't stop such an amazing scene they got great energy their players they know what it's like to have fun and work hard and it made me miss football

because when I was a vet and I probably you guys the same way as you got older in the league especially when you get up there and you're like 33 34 years old and you're fucking tired of it you really gravitate towards the guys that used to play that coach like when you want to bitch about something

or you're just like fucking tired and you're just tired dealing with the upstairs people they can be your guy Philip Daniels was one for me you know like yeah deuce Greg Lewis yep in in St. Louis Clyde Simmons was there there were a bunch of former players even guys you hadn't heard of that coached they

they form a really unique bond with a lot of players because they can relate. So it's like it's a winning equation if you can figure the football out. Also, also for the relate thing, I think it's a big, I'm glad that they highlighted the fact that that one coach was saying that I guess other organizations or he felt that he was going to be pressured to cut his hair. And I think that is a huge, like for, for a young black man, like thinking about getting a job and to have to feel like, dang, the only way that I'm going to maybe be considered for this job is that I need to change my physical appearance just to have a chance for it.

And it doesn't mean I'm guaranteed to get this job. I think that that also speaks like wonders to Dan Campbell. Dan's like bring your skills and bring your energy. Well, yeah, it's Calvin Shepherd. Yeah. Yeah. And also too, like Chris said, it's something that as a player like, yo, this guy looks like me. Like I can relate to him more.

Like I don't feel like he's just blowing smoke. That's something that I'm glad that they did highlight during the show. Last year when I was in Kansas City, I got to know Greg Lewis, former receiver in the NFL. And he's now a receiver's coach. And last year he was a receiver's coach with the chiefs. And he'd come down in the locker room before practice. Coaches don't go to the locker room usually. They're not in the locker room.

Right. He would go down there every day and talk shit to the O line and getting a three-point stance and give a shitty pass that. And people love to laugh at him. And he was a jokester, but he's a great coach. He runs his guys hard, and we know that he played. And there's a level of comfort there between upstairs and downstairs that's nice in places like Detroit now,

in places like Kansas City and other teams I haven't been on. But in pro football, you have to have a lot of very hard conversations. More than most workplaces. I don't want to make blanket statements. but you know like these conversations make people blush in any other line of work and half of having that conversation is putting yourself in the other person's position but getting your point across like these are all conversations that you have to know how people take yeah the you know the other conversation from the other side you have to get your point across but you have to also be

apathetic to the situation the only way to do that is to have been in that in that situation the only way you can have the awareness to do that. And Dan has that. Well, Dan has it and all his guys have it. So, yeah, so I thought about this with Aidan Hutchison and singing and like the same thing with the linebacker kid. W rookie. Yeah, I was like, man, I mean, like, hey, just signed a $23 million contract. That's what the signing bonus was, as he said, as he was up there being made to sing.

But, you know, like, that's some fucking scary shit having to get up in front of that room and perform. What did you sing? uh me and vbora saying you've lost that love and feeling so we did it in the cafeteria in mechuan but the whole the whole thing is you want to like if you can do a duet like that's the way to go it takes the pressure i wasn't smart enough to do that yeah so me and vobora did a duet we did well that was it but aiden hutchison got up there he fucking fumbled over the first bar and billy uh which made it great he made a comeback right somebody said reload there was a football coaching point reload i was like I was like that's a football coaching where Dan Campbell was like reload but but the thing is I was like

damn as hard as it is imagine you're on hard knocks and you know that the whole country is going to see you perform sing karaoke like and you're the first round pick I don't have it in me dude yeah I don't have it in me I don't know like I'm so thankful that that did not happen to me and he came out looking good you've established he's cool that was creed that was creed humphrey we established he's cool And if you establish it, you're cool, like, even your failures are going to be, like, a little easier to take. Like, if you have a bad practice or whatever, like, guys are going to want to help you. And, you know, it goes down to, like, carrying pads and doing the rookie dinner and all that stuff. But I just, like, hard knocks overall made me miss football.

I don't miss football a lot, but, like, something weird about watching training camp. And watching training camp in a building that I think will be fun to play in, like, makes you miss football a little bit. And they maybe are staying at their house. Yeah. But hard knocks. Maybe. But yeah, just like we said, Hard Nux is always fun for the beginning, but the later weeks, when guys get cut, because I ain't gonna lie. When I got cut in Canada, I cried in my dorm room.

Before I had to leave, like, in the way they did it, they just throw all your stuff in a black trash bag and they just wrap it up with tape. Yep. And, like, sitting there with that bag and like everyone's gone is at practice, I was just like, damn. Then you're like, where am I doing now? Like, what? Fuck, like this sucks. And then, and then I'm not. in a different country.

So, like, you have to think about that. Like, I have to pack my bags that go through customs and do all this stuff, like, immediately. So it's not like... This is a CFL. Yeah, this is when I was in a CFO. But also, like, it's not even, you don't even get a work visa yet, like, because it wasn't like I was officially on the team again for that second year.

But also, too, it was the latter part of my career. So it's more, it hit harder, like, yell, like, this might be it. Like, like, if I get cut. like I'm getting cut here like if no one else picks me up here. I'm gonna mention it's Winnipeg yeah? Yep. So it's just like it's like damn that hurt. But thinking about if I had to go through that with that being like televised,

I probably even though you agree to it, I probably be like, nah, like get these cameras. That's the fucked up thing. I don't think you can get out of it. Where the gal runs from the camera. That would be Nate. I haven't seen that one. You know what? No, like all of them.

You are not the father and the gal. It's like, Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. That's a big, that's a big jokes on you, Batman. Yeah, I'm going Jerry Springer and get this mother-penter. Bring your ass on Jerry Springer there. All right, so. I am not the father.

Do you guys remember like a lowest moment? Oh, yeah. I've like most dehumanizing. That was just mine. That makes sense. Most dehumanizing moment would be, and I saw an article about this last week, I'm not sure where from or who wrote it, but they were saying like players in, let's just use

the bills, for example. Players at Bill's training camp are peeing in bottles in like record numbers or something. Yeah. Like, you know. And I want people to know that I saw the question, why are people peeing in bottles? And I did it myself. I had my my, my, did it. Yeah. I think I saw a

pissed bottle like last month. I'll stop it. So in a game, in training camp, in training camp, in training camp, if you're staying in a dorm, you have one shared bathroom, especially at, you know, all of that Nazarian University, where the Bears did camp. You had one shared bourbon ice

Burbine bathroom And there's like four stalls and like 50 dudes on one floor But you have to also put in that we're in a female dorm so there's no urinals Female dorms It's only stalls Two showers and And at night the when you open and close the doors is really loud and wakes people up So a lot of guys just pee in bottles at night because you hydrate so much when you get done at meetings

Yeah And you just piss all night and you piss in bottles and And that's really my low point. It's just like the, the piss. Just the amounts of piss. But look, something for you to look up some white boying for you guys. I've seen online that fermented piss, it has medical advantages. And there's people who do what you do, and they keep their piss in, like, on Mason Jones.

Yeah, Tom Hanks in Castaway, which is a great movie, by the way. That's what happened to chat. and then forced gum. How can you say they're all the same role? He was a fucking, he, Wilson to, I'm not a smart man. Oh, my God. What's your worst? My worst, probably my second year, I wasn't very good yet.

I mean, like, you know, I was playing hard. I just didn't know what the fuck I was doing. And, you know, it was a really bad team. think Detroit was bad last year? You think Detroit's like, this is chaos. Like, this is like, the wheels are turning because the team's going to move in the near future, like in the distant future. And the organizations, there's multiple owners. They're fucking, it's just weird. So, it's training camp my second year. And Steve Spagnol is the new coach. Spags. Yeah. And I'm not having the best camp. It's a new system. It's a multiple system.

But I'm not having the best camp. And Steve walks out, we're walking out the field. And he's like, hey, it has nothing to do with Chris Long, the person. Really like Chris Long the person. I'm like, I don't, you know. And he's like, but we're going to start Victor Adi on you. He's like, you've lost, you know, like your job or whatever. And I'm like, damn, that's early in camp to lose my job, huh?

Like, fuck me, dude. Holy shit. But anyways, everything worked out eventually there. But just like, you know, you'll never forget the conversations. And these are the real conversations. I can hear Spag saying that. Put his hand on my shoulder and everything. Little guy.

All the way up. Yeah, little guy. Like fuck. And I love Spags. We've had him on the show. Great guy. Like I said, like him not liking me the player at that point, you know, in my second year, it's okay.

You know, like it wasn't, it doesn't have to be personal. And that's why we're cool now. I mean, that helps everything worked out for me. But, you know, like, that was a tough moment. I've had some really hard conversation in the league. That's one of them. And it happened in training camp. Yeah.

Fucking like day three. How bad was I day one, too, bro? Another one, I got another one that I just remembered. That was like, it was like a humbling conversation. Harry Hee-Stand, it was his first year coaching for the Bears. I think it was 17, 2017, 2018. He was the O-Line coach. And he had Kea's coached a number of guys that are going to be Hall of Famers, right?

And he wrote, the first thing he did when he got in there, he's one of those guys, didn't say a word when the meeting started. He just started writing on the board. So, like, you would have to read it as he wrote it, which is a really smart way to doing things. And he wrote a list of names. He wrote 12 names, including seven guys who are in the league currently. And he essentially was like, these are the guys that I've coached. And one of which was in the room, one of which was Josh. sitting yeah he put on really good player really good player and I wasn't on the list yeah that he

compiled uh-huh got and I'm sitting there and I'm like what year is this this was like my sixth seventh year in the league goodness gracious yeah shots fired shots fired and and he and he knew how to get me going and I worked really hard under him but like oh he was playing he was playing mind he was uh jepetto and Josh sitting was like this he was like this guy put me on his list he was like laughing he was like laughing at me he was like he ain't even see me put on the pads yet he's like I ain't blocking nobody Josh

Josh didn't the funniest guy ever Josh it's not about you this is he'd be like Josh he'd be like Josh he'd be like please jump on my fucking leg during practice today kill me get me out of here Kyle whenever you hear the when guys are all talking there's that buzz in

a position meeting room which like when guys get in there like okay now we can act like children and it's like all over the place and then the coach walks in and people are still talking and then you hear the you know like the little whiteboard people hear it long enough everybody's like everybody just sits still and shuts the fuck up because they're like what the fuck is this guy writing Pavlovian response if a coach walks in a room and doesn't say anything for a while especially if he just starts writing someone on the board you're about to get your ass chewed dude like big

time because coaches are like that tick talk of the old guy the professor who walks in he's like morning, good morning, good morning, different outfit every day, same gestures. If a coach walks in and breaks that monotony, you're like, fuck, something's up. What did we do? Somebody died. Yeah, somebody died or we were we. John, you're getting traded. We were out of our gaps today.

You're getting traded. But that first training camp, before we move on to the news here, that first training camp meeting when Dan Campbell walked in and that's, that buzz, like, that's, that's like, everybody's like catching up on their summer. Energy. Energy's crazy. The fucking nervous energy. The first padded practice.

Like I was sitting there watching, I was like, give me a nine on seven right now. I want the first fucking one. You just can't wait to get out there and show people what you've been doing. Yeah. Show out. Ready you are. Yeah. And it just,

it was hard watching hard knocks last night at 11 p.m. I was like, I kind of miss football. I'll admit. Definitely. Definitely get phone more watching. Andy Reed would start every team meeting all, like, all the big ones. You know,

he'd start off. and everybody would be in there buzzing like you're talking about. He'd walk in three minutes late on purpose. He'd be in the hallway waiting and just hearing the energy build up. He'd walk in and he'd go, how about it? And everybody would be like, yes. How about it? You know who had the best start to meetings?

I talked about him a few times on this pod, but shout out to Mel Tucker because he would compile different, like, just like funny clips, usually like animals. and different type of like pursuit and like, and like make it incorporated with like tackling or striking. Or the gunner on punt team. Yeah, things like that. And it was something that I think about it now,

but to try to get a group of guys engaged before like you're getting serious and you're getting into playbook talk, like that was a real good way. And he used to do a real good job. I don't know if he had someone looking these up for him or if he, That's why he got paid so much. Recycles it. No, yeah.

If he recycles it, but I'm sure the guys in Michigan State, I'm sure they get plenty, like, real good videos. They know David Attenborough's voice really well up there in the East Lansing. Okay, so the first topic of conversation. Odell Beckham. What if Odell lobbies to take less with Herbert? No, there's too many, it's too many, too many mouths to feed there. But he's coming, he's coming off an injury. Like he could take this year, take a one year deal.

He'll be ready halfway through the season. That's what I'm saying. Yeah, so you go somewhere that has stars and like, hey. Rehab all year and show up in the playoffs. But also, like, you'll get more balls that way because people aren't going to really be that inclined when you have Keenan Allen and some of these other weapons there. I feel like that's probably a good situation for him to jump into because for him to think that he's going to go somewhere and take like just be the number one. No, he's no longer, he's no, listen, O'Dell, he's an auxiliary too. Here's what, here's what O'Dell is.

He's most importantly to me, if I'm a GM, not just a great player who can still play in any system. He just showed it in L.A. like, he did different things there that you were like, he did some dirty work there. Like, he ran a lot of, he ran a lot of, you know, like, gutsy little outroutes and shit and scrap for the, you know, the chains. It wasn't just acrobatic catches, right? And he played second fiddle to Cooper.

Super Cup, but he was also really important to the Rams in that Super Bowl. You know why? Because when he left the game, they started sputtering. He was a big deal to them. So if I'm a GM, like I know that not only am I getting a guy that's buying in to win, but he's also still really good and can be a team player. So all that shit we were worried about with Odell, it's not true. The one thing that is true about Odell though is the amount of injuries that he's accrued

over the last three to four years has been more than we think. Like look at the timeline. I mean, obviously last year you have the ACL. 2017 he fractured his ankle 2018 four games with a quad started 15 and 19 so he had pretty much a complete 2019 and then he had surgery in the offseason for core muscle if you remember that yeah and then 2020 he played in seven games before the ACL happened then the ACL in the Super Bowl so he's been through the fucking ringer you know what I mean like you got hurt a lot at the end of your career I got

a lot wears you down stretch in the middle of my career it fucking it's amazing to me start to question that your body's failing you and that you can't put your foot in the ground and drive off the way you used to. So, you know, it's certainly good to take a flyer on O'Dell, and I think whenever he's ready, that would be exciting for any team. Greenbackers.

I don't think the Packers are a great one, but if you're O'Dell, you want to win another Super Bowl. I know he won that Super Bowl, but I know he probably wants to be on the field the entire Super Bowl. Like, I know that probably hurt him not to be able to take one of the last snaps and run out on the field with his teammates and all that stuff.

So, like, Buffalo. He still wants to win, right? Buffalo. That's the one, dude. That's the one to me. I mean, like, they've been looking for a really good number two. They're a juggernaut. Yeah.

You know, teams that sit in zone and are afraid of Josh Allen's legs. Like, he's a guy that can find those little soft spots. Like, they had concerns at slot. You know, the Raiders have popped in. I think the Raiders are a really nice fit for him, too. And then him and the Razors, Jersey probably will look really sweet. He looks so cool in the radio. One thing about Odell

is at this point, his career, to your point with all the injuries, he wants to go somewhere where his ability or his availability is not the determining factor in the team's success. So you plug and play in a place like Buffalo, and you feel confident

that even if I'm not available next week, you guys are great. Right, right, right. Yeah, yeah. But I can help. I can be a huge help. It has to be the number one anymore. But I think one thing that really factors in, and he just came from a place that is known to do this is he needs to be somewhere where they take care of vets Odell's gonna get taken care of anyways

Odell's a guy that I'm really I'm really rooting for man and he already got what I think he deserves with the Super Bowl but like I want to see him gutted when he got hurt Yeah dude and you know what it's very rare That like everybody fucking likes a player online And I'm also like yeah I really like that guy

Yeah you know like I've met him a couple times I was like what a nice guy dude what a cool guy Super nice yeah like I can see why guys love playing with him Yeah, you know. But he's also famous enough to take the air out of the room if you're Baker Mayfield and you're nervous as fuck about am I keeping this guy happy? Both things can be true.

I'm not saying that it's anybody. I'm saying it's Baker's got to be a big boy in that situation. But yeah, anyways, I digress. Baseball, a couple baseball things before we get to our draft here. Nate, I'm into the Little League World Series now, dude. You were right. I think Matt asked an interesting question in the car yesterday. He made an interesting point.

like we're struggling. Okay, Aaron Judge is, is on pace to break Roger Maris record, right? In New York. Tallest player? No, home runs.

It was funny because I walked in here, you're the baseball guy, and I was like, we got to talk about Aaron Judge today. You're like, what's he doing? I'm like, here's the point. This is the point. Like, I can remember maybe it was our age

and maybe this answers the question. Barry Bonds. But like, yeah, the race to 70, all that stuff. McGuire hitting a low liner over the left field wall. Like, it's all so nostalgic, right? White batting gloves.

White batting gloves, steroids, the whole thing. But like, the nation was gripped by baseball. Every night, Sports Center was like a fireworks show. And maybe the problem is that sports center is not what it once was. I mean, shout out to our guy. Steve Scott. But you know, like the music, the fucking nostalgia of the old sports center. Somebody our age is hard to recreate that.

But the point is, Aaron Judge is on pace to break Roger Maris's record. And really, when you look at everybody else, because I went and looked, he's on pace to be at 65 or something, which would fall short of Barry Bonds' record at 73. But, you know, like you look at the pacing of all those players that were north of 60, it landed north of 60. They're all on pace game 100 or 2 or wherever we are for 63, 64, 65.

No, they end up 68, 70, whatever they were. like Barry Bonds was not way ahead of Aaron Judge's pace at this point. Baron Bonds. So Judge and Bonds. So you're saying Bonds and Judge have a similar pace at this point in the season. In 2001 when Barry Bonds had 73 home runs, he was, he was at 47 home runs through 112 games. Aaron Judge has 45 home runs through a hundred and so he was he's so Aaron Judge, although he's and you know like no one wants to say it out loud, right? Like some people are saying it out loud, but more articles that I read her about.

Roger Maris record, the Yankees record, which is 60 or 61, right? 61. 61. They made a movie. In this point in Roger Maris' 61 season, he had 41 home runs. So what it's called. So the point is that like, there's a guy who's a New York Yankee, he's like a fucking movie star.

He looks like what a comic book baseball player would look like, like a heroic comic book. Like Xerxes. Yeah, he's built like Xerxes. He's mashing dog. left and right over the wall there every night he's on TV every night and you don't know he's and listen I'm not this in the diggy you I'm saying like I didn't know until like a week ago baseball marketing and branding is terrible but but we are glued to the to TV to watch the little league world series like I know Montana has to play Nevada here soon or whatever it is like I

watch Nevada and fucking and Utah the other night poor kid uh you know kind of like, you know, it's 4-4. He walks, he loses, his control kind of leaves him. And you know what that feels like is a little leaguer. So not only can you relate, but also the sympathetic adult in you is like, man, I hope this kid gets out of this situation. So it kind of becomes a fucked up reality TV show a little bit. Yeah.

Is that what makes it so watchable? Because like, it's not higher level baseball, obviously. It's great baseball, just on a mini field. It also makes it remark. There's an interesting like human element to the whole thing, which is obviously that these kids are so grown up. Like these kids are doing very grown up things. Mature.

But they're emotionally still tiny kids, dude. When you were 12, you were just like a puddle of emotion. I was a child. You were a child, dude. At least, you know, like some kids grow up by 12, but I didn't grow up by 12. No. Not even close. And a lot of these kids, I think it's the same thing, but they're on national TV.

And they're fucking playing the biggest games of their lives, dude, like blowing saves. making errors, crying, like walking people. It's terrifying to their girlfriends. That'd be sick. When's the first Lily World Series proposed? I don't know. Hitting dingers, yo. The Utah kid.

One kid grew up really fast. You see who he put as his favorite actress? This is great. This kid, yeah, this kid, um, no, it's not great, actually. Who'd he put? Alexis, Texas. Who approves, like, who they get the right down? That's the funniest thing.

If that's incriminating, don't put it in there. They should be congratulated. They don't watch porn. Like they're, they're no. No, they don't, dude,

because nobody is, nobody who knows, that's not worth your job to be like, to phone home and be like, hey, just see what I let. That's true.

Like, whoever the person is at the hotel for ESPNPR when all those kids arrive on their Quicks buses and they get off and they have the little questionnaire and this kid writes down Alexis, Texas.

They need to fucking amend that, right? Oh my God. What if you're that parent? How would you feel if you're the dad? If you're the dad? You're like... How do you know that? Well, it's his choice, right?

I guess he likes girls. I guess he likes big butts. I guess he made his choice. You know, I'm going to support him. Well, that's that. I have that. And how about those kids with the great sportsmanship, huh? It's good for them.

You know what? These kids are heroes, man. Man. Imagine, imagine that moment and being fucking 12 and then remembering in the middle of it, I'm on TV, dude. I'm on TV. And then, and then the kid runs the first, who by the way, both these kids look enormous. Yeah. These kids look way older. Danny Almonte. Well, do they have regulations? I don't know. For that now, like who checks the birth certificates now? It's probably way more in depth than it used to be. Hopefully somebody better than who checks the favorite actress list. Exactly. I like that. Yeah, that's good. So anyways, here's a question for you guys. Von Grissom, this kid, Von Grissom, first at bat for the Atlanta Braves, hits a dong over the green monster.

We could piss a. So is there, like, the first pitch, too. First pitch, first at bat, fucking over the green monster, Reed. There's, and I would ask you this, Reed, like, do you think there's a better way to start your career, better first play in sports? like even conceivably like hole in one par four in a regular season game whole and one on par four okay first swing you ask first swing yeah no not as cool shut the fuck up not as cool let's put it up for a vote yeah sure what's cooler a hole in one on your first or a home run on

your first home run easy yeah dude see i disagree one might be more rare it might be more rare which makes it cooler well are you talking in your first like You're on your first PGA tour event? Like when Tiger Woods went from an amateur to a professional and played this first match, had he hit a hole in one on his first thing. Yeah, way cooler. It wouldn't have been cooler. I disagree, dude.

I really do disagree. This kid got called up from double A. He's 21 years old. It's the first pitch he sees. Look, I don't mean to take anything away from Von Grissom. It's amazing. We're built for first take. Let's do it.

Okay. Because think about it. I think Tiger, I think if a golf, if Von Grissom, the golfer, were to play in his first golf event as a professional. and hit a hole in one in his first shot. It would be cooler. There are a lot of mid-golf events, dude. You could have been at like fucking any mid-golf course.

If he was at the premier tour, the live tour. No. And he hit a hole-in-one on the first shot. He's like, hey, the commissioner wants to talk to you and he invites you to like a beheading. Yeah. And Greg Norman's just there with a speedo arm. Arm is there starting the chainsaw.

So I know. I have an iPhone. That got built in some terrible factory. I got it. The line is so straight to beheadings there. Yeah. So anyways, he's hitting it in front of a bunch of people in one of the biggest sports towns in America.

You're right. In the most iconic, I mean, think about it. Is there a more iconic thing to hit a ball over than the green monster? We used to call this row of boxwoods that we'd hit tennis balls over the green monster. Maybe the 16th of Pebble Beach. Yeah, but you don't start your,

you know what I mean? Like maybe if the guy magically started his career at Pebble Beach. You're right. I don't know. You are right. We won the debate. This is a really cool take on first take because like when people actually are like, no, you're right. I'm conceding.

I'm just waiting for Molly Care. I'm waiting for Molly Caream to say. Go to break. No, no. Next topic. You're not going to yell at me. That's what Ryan Clark said to Mad Dog. Mad Dog's like, this is my normal voice.

What? What do you mean? yelling at you. I think the only one, maybe as a kicker in the NFL, right? Or first, you get called up or whatever, and then maybe it's in the playoffs, you get called up off the practice squad. Regular season, though.

Regular season. Maybe 8-17, week 18, with the season on the line. That might be bigger because you can win a game that way. Right, right. Yeah. Kyle Guy, free throws. They weren't his first. But they were the coolest.

They were cool. That's a good point. Shout out to Kyle Guy. It is his birthday today. Great guy. Happy birthday. Oh, happy birthday, Kyle Guy. I hope you got to play golf today.

I hope the Bengals win the Super Bowl. If the Eagles don't win the Super Bowl. Joe Burrow on a golf card at practice. We love Kyle Guy. Chilling. Okay, cool. So if Kyle makes it back to the NBA, he cannot wear number six.

The league just retired number six for all teams. LeBron James. Bill Russell. Who, by the way, I know I put a highlight. tape yesterday of JJ Reddick reacting to Bob Coosie highlights

over at Fireman. Read, nice job on that. Ralph, nice job on that. You guys did a good job. And a lot of people, some people thought I was serious that Bob Coosie was really good. I was like, Bob Coosie is nice because the backstory is JJ Reddick said he played with a bunch of firemen and plumbers, which is true.

There were literally guys that were plumbers and firemen in the offseason. So JJ was like, uh, color me not so impressed. And there was a big backlash Jerry West was like well J.J. Reddick wasn't that fucking awesome like you know the whole thing even though he fucking was and by the way

I ruled that you know on this Jerry West is he misrepresented thing I think he is I heard from some people in the know that he's not that bad the thing is I put up that highlight video yesterday of Bob Coosie and J.J. reacting and the whole thing and it

reminded me that I haven't heard J.J. Reddick eulogize Bill Russell yet. What has he got against guys from the 60s and the 50s and the 40s and the 30s? What is it about? Maybe it's the Celtics. Maybe it is the Celtics. Or maybe he's an ageist fuck.

Could be. I love JJ Redick, though. I love him. That was a joke, JJ. I know you're listening. Big fan of the pot, I know. Yeah, hey, guys, here's the 90s, babes. Let us know who won the draft.

Oh, Chris, he didn't win. All right, let's pull him out. Whip him out. So the criteria of the draft is any nostalgic and respectfully the word babe. That's a retro word. That's why we're including it in this. It started as a 90s babe thing. But Kyle was like, let's do a nostalgic babe thing, which I'm sure Reed appreciates

because he's going to draft all dead women. They're on my big board. They're on your big board. His big board is a cemetery. This big board is the Hollywood Cemetery. Does everybody understand the game? It doesn't have to just be actresses, right?

Just any babe from your childhood, any nostalgic babe, although many of them might be actresses. Am I hearing? Okay. Yes, with the first pick in the 90s babes draft, Reed's going with Shell Pfeiffer.

Okay. Damn it. That's my favorite sound in these kind of drafts. Yeah, Michelle Pfeiffer. I think the sound is Michelle Pfeiffer's whip cracking in Batman. You guys are really into leather, huh? Is that what I just found out? Is that her leading, like, man, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer in that one?

I'm just curious. Maybe Scarface from the 80s. Oh, yeah. Are you talking about 90s ones? Yeah, probably Catwoman. I like her being Catwoman better because I think that was a stronger role. you know the scarface Michelle Pfeiffer was a pushover

she should have killed Tony dude she should have killed that motherfucker for sure that's a nice pick read first you're up second okay some people are going to say it's a reach but I just couldn't go through the pain of anybody else drafting Sandra Bullock

I like Sandra Sandra she's incredible Sandra Bullock uh speed Sandra Bullock uh time to kill Sandra Bullock Oh man time to kill Oh no I'm not

You're thinking of somebody else Yep Julia Robert Did I just put somebody I just put somebody on your big board It's definitely Julia Roberts Who I'm thinking about Okay so I got Sandra Bullock

And so gracious That time that Brian Nelson awkwardly Uh set me up Like an arranged marriage For an awkward photograph at the SPs I told Brian don't do that He did it

And the picture is awful Oh, that's so great. Yo, she is cool. I like Sandra. She was so nice to me for stopping and taking that picture. All right, I'm up. Easy pick. I'll take Halliberry.

Yo, I knew he was going to do that. Wow. Like, I knew he was going to do that. Wow. Like, oh my goodness. Wow. Like, what the hell? Wow.

I honestly knew Matt Long's house right now. The phones are buzzing. I feel like Matt. Matt fed me. He fed me this paper. with number four on it so I could pick last. Like, that's crazy. It's crazy.

And if you think about it, I should pick first in every draft, to be honest. Like, if we want to be honest. This is we got, we just, damn. So we got speak for yourself, Nate, here. All right. All right. So my first pick since, he just messed my big board up. Damn it.

Damn, dude. You came to the dance and didn't think that somebody might draft Holly Berry? Halliberry. Halliberry. There's a whole motherfucking song, Hallibary, dude. I'm going to go. She's an icon. I'm going to go with.

He had Hallie Berry. I'm going to go with Mariah Carey. What? Banging Christmas music seems really nice, too, right? No, I think she's bad shit crazy. You think she's crazy. Yeah. She, something's going on that's good to make Nick Cannon do a whole tattoo that size.

She did the, she did the, I don't know her, right? How great is that? Yeah, yeah, that's her. Someone else that made me, would have been on my big board. But she, J-Lo. When they, they ask her, her and J-Lo, like, repeatedly go back and forth. And they asked her, like, hey, what do you think about J-Lo? And she's, like, I don't know who that is.

Oh, God. And they, like, and they, like, famously, like, do that back and forth. I think it's just like, it was like, like, A singer, maybe like a single little singer beef. That was the first marketing exchange of its kind in the music industry. Probably. Like an orchestrated beef, it sounds like. All right.

Kyle's up. I don't know how I found a way to fetishize this list. But my first pick is Jessica Rabbit. What? Wow. That's a good pick, bro. Kyle has a cartoon fetish. Oh, I ain't leather again.

Oh, my goodness. Back to the live. Just a. some babe you know I respect that in the first round were you worried one of us was gonna take it I wasn't grabbing on I wasn't holding on to that pick too hard Hintel beastiality being acceptable in this draft just opens up a lot of things no it's not the rabbit what not the rabbit the rabbit the rabbit it's the because at first I was like he picked a rabbit yes that's what I thought too yeah okay it's not just oh it's also Jessica rabbit

Jessica Rabbit. Yeah, it's this girl. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. But, like, throwing anime in there is kind of like... Well, hey, listen, God bless him if he wants to download the whole animated clip on us. Man, I don't think he's going to win the draft. No. Round two.

You just wait for my second round. Okay, okay, okay, okay. We're not doing Snake. Yeah. We are not. Well, wonderful. Reed's going, uh, Reed's going to go Carmen Electra.

Ooh. Carmen Electra? Yeah, she likes to have sex with Dennis Robin, huh? Yeah, I guess so. Uh-huh. Yeah. Me and Dennis. Rod.

The Rod. Reading Rod. It's a good pick. No one's arguing with you there. Carmen Electra is like a blue blood, you know? She's like a Kentucky or like Kansas. You can't go wrong with that pick. I just really had a thing for Christina Applegate, man.

Christina Applegate. I mean, just, she was just, I don't know, something about her. You know, that's, we just heard J-Lo, J-Lo is definitely. Will Farrell said it best when he said, ask like a North Star, wise men are going to want to follow it. Who said that about Will Farrell? About Christina Applegate? In Anchorman.

Oh, God. When Drake was like, yo, you got a big one. I did forget about that, dude. Yeah, she, yeah, something about her, man. I don't know, Christina Applegate, fuck it. Well, I got to throw that in because there's going to be some other brunettes that I might take. And my wife could be listening. But again, this is before 2000.

I got to pick a blonde. You know what I'm saying? No, I know what you're saying. But when you said you might pick a brunette, it made me think I maybe should take this person sooner. You might want to do it. Or maybe I'm just playing psychological warfare with you, Matt. All right. I'll take her.

I'm going to take Jennifer Love Hewitt. Great pick. Great pick. Yep. It's on me? Yeah. I'm going with my second pick. I'm going with Tyra Banks.

Tyra Banks Great pick Because you got to think about it too In the 90s If you've seen Tyra Most likely She had a plethora Of models following right behind her

Oh that's creative Got to think about it Yeah Think about those type of parties You're going with with Tyra Well as STDs Whatever bro At the end of the day

Everyone in the 90s If you were a model If you've seen her You're probably dropping You're probably losing your shit But nobody wants to be the tall guy or the small guy rather nobody wants to be the short guy you become the short guy you're out with those those girls man they got heels on they're six foot like all the sudden doctor fax doesn't

look so tall bro it's fine okay i look great like you pose hey come take a picture with all of us you're not gonna be laughing then whatever bro don't try to shit on my pick bro i'm no i'm just presenting you a different way of thinking about things i'm so so glad that i was able to make it to this pick with this with this galsaw on the board because uh she is my first round pick honestly but i got away with murder with the first um i'm going with camera dyes particularly from the mask the mask we were talking about that before you yeah we were like what what what if what's we got to name the best performance that's the mask for her yeah i mean when when jim carrie was in there in the mask in the uh in the venue watching her perform and his jaw dropped his

tongue dropped onto the thing and rolled out and then it rolled back up and into his mouth. That was every one of us as nine-year-old to five-year-old kids watching Cameron Dio saying, I can't understand what's happening in my, made my pants right now. I mean, you take a walk, I think. Mom sat me down to have the sex sad talk and I like beat her to the punch. I was like, yep, that's why when I see a pretty girl, my penis sticks up. And I think that's like a pick six on the first.

play for a parent. I really do. I think like she had this whole plan. She probably talked to dad about her for a while. The whole thing. We sat on the couch and I just, yeah. All right.

My third pick, Elizabeth Hurley. She is, she's from the awesome powers, uh, movies. Does she have a weird Twitter? Vanessa Kensington.

He's got an awesome social media. I think she's nuts, right? Like, and she has a funny social media. I don't know. But like, I'll constantly see that Elizabeth.

Herley followed me and I ignore it because it's like spam you know like I'm just like this couldn't be you know but she follows like 70,000 people or something oh man some people are gonna call this a reach let's go Marissa Tomei oh kings out there no the real 90s king's out there no they know who's that Marissa Tomei is that um he just rolled his eyes she still yeah she is who is my cousin and Vinny. Oh, yeah, she is hard. Yeah, yeah, Marissa Tomey.

Oh, she's in a lot of movies. Yeah, she's beautiful. Marissa Tomey. God, I got some good ones coming here. I'm so split right now, but wait, wait, wait. I'd be upset if she got taken, so I'm just going to go with Jennifer Aniston.

Solid. That's like, she didn't get to buying into Berkshire Hathaway. That's a Warren Buffett stock right there. Yeah, dude. Yeah, that's, that's got, it went too long, probably.

Right? Yeah. Not drafting. Is it because we've all heard that her breath stinks? There's no novelty. There's no novelty. You know what I mean? Everybody's been thinking about Jennifer Anderson since 1995.

You know, how about some of these? That's the version I'm drafting. I have a season one. Okay, yeah. And that's the version to draft. I mean, any version is great. But I think there's a lot of actresses that we overlooked in the pre-internet era before AOL started.

She had a Rolling Stone cover that blew my mind once upon a time. Jennifer Anderson and great pick. All right, Dr. Fax. It's on me? I am going with, because I want to mess up someone's board, I'm going to go with Danielle Fischel. Chris doesn't even know who that is. I don't know that one.

Topanga, Lawrence. Yeah, Topanga. Oh, yeah, cool. Topanga Lawrence. Didn't watch TV. You didn't watch TV? You didn't watch TV? You didn't watch Boys Meet,

world. I really didn't. Oh, my goodness. They didn't want to stay by the bell. I had a crush on Topanga. It's a good pick. Topanga was thicker than a snicker. Yes, he was. You know when you leave a candy bar in the in the refrigerator, and it's just like, gets even thicker. Is this me? Is it my turn? No, my turn. Kyle's up. I'm going to go with Wendy Pfeffercorn from Sanlock. Damn. Damn. I think every young boy can relate to seeing something that's unattainable. and doing unspeakable things to try to attain it. Her name Marley Shelton. Faking being,

Faking. Great pick, would you, would you fake being drowning for that? Hell yeah. Yeah. For mouth to mouth. Is that the lowest of the low,

faking drowning? So you get mouth to mouth by the hot lifeguard. That's like the guy at training camp who fakes to be overheating until they realize that they have to shove a thermometer up their ass. I'm not doing this anymore. Not fanking cramps anymore. I'm practice.

Oh my God. I'll go my fourth pick, another awesome powers gal, Heather Graham. Great, great, great, great, great. It's a good pick. Who still looked great in the hangover.

But Boogie Knights is probably her best role, in my opinion. If you really want to make a hot 90s babe list, you just have to look at all the chicks that Nick Cannon had been. with. Charlie Sheen. That's funny.

Because Nick Cannon, his old roster is unbelievable. And I don't know if he got with Christina Madeline when he did the movie with her. Who? Oprah. I like him. Chris, I'm with that.

Ah, get away from Oprah. All the David Chappelle skit. Stefan's living. Look at how he's living, dude. I'm going to keep this train moving and take Sarah Michelle Gellie. That's good. Sarah Michelle Geller.

That's fucking, that's a great pick. I'm going Kelly Williams. Oh. That was Laura Winslow off of Family Matters. Spend a lot of time watching that show. And Laura was very, very sexy.

I know exactly what you were talking about. That's a great show. Looks like he played for the Kings. No, no, no, no, no, no. I've got two pictures. lined up here. No, no, you don't get to. No, he played in the PBA. Good pick. Does a 2001 movie reference not count here? It still counts. It's your childhood. All good. Okay. So in 2001, there was a movie with Freddie Prince Jr. And the female lead was Jessica

and it's called Summercatch. And at one point in Summer Catch, Jessica Beal is out there in a crop top. And she's mowing along. It's a push mower. and it's another one of those scenes that really changed my life, if you know what I'm saying. So Jessica Beal, round four pick for me, I think is a steal. Okay. I'll go Margo Robbie last year. Wait, it's not your pick.

I'm joking. I'm joking. I'm stretching the vintage. I'm fucking with Kyle. Dang. But he is in 2001, you were 12. You were 12. That's vintage for Kyle.

Count it. And it's a great pick. And it's like taking a shot. It's like shooting a shot a little bit. We'll go. Krista Allen, known on this show as the woman in the elevator from liar, liar. Oh, God, dude. Are you serious? You took the woman from liar, liar in the elevator?

You fucking assassin. Inexcusably hot. You assassin, dude. Oh, Reed. Holy shit. We've only mentioned her on this show like 100. times. Where is she? She.

She has a cameo, doesn't she? She's done two and a half men, X-Files, Smallville. Okay, Shania Twain. Whenever Shania Twain was at her peak, Shania Twain, dude. Give me Shania Twain. She still got it in 1883. She still got it. I'm sure. And I just want to say this. It looks like I've drafted one blonde.

That's right. And that's only because there's only room enough for one blonde and one drafted blonde on the podcast in my life. I love you, Meg. All right. My fifth round pick, I'm so smart. Have you told your wife you love her yet? I didn't tell her I was doing this pod. Nate,

have you told your girlfriend that you love her? I love her. I love you, Nate. I love her. I love you, babe. All right, I'm really split right here between two. I don't think anybody else would go with Elaine from Seinflo, but that's one I'm tempted by.

God, you know what, Matt? But I'm not going to take it, even though that's probably personally really close. I think I'm going to go with Uma Thurman, who I also enjoy. Umah Thurman in Pulp Fiction? I prefer kill Bill. Umah Thurman, actually. Okay. So you have a foot fetish.

Is that it? You're falling for all that fucking Quentin Tarantino stuff. He puts like 100 feet in his movies. It wasn't the feet I was looking at. I love all of his movies because of the weird shit like that. That yellow body suit. All right, Nate. Well, can I pick two?

It's last pick. No, I'm going. Yeah, sure, sure, sure, yeah. You can name honorable mentions after the fact. I can do a pair. You get a pair because. Yeah. But this is kind of like exposing my little horny ass.

God. With Lauren Graham and Alexis Bidal, Lorelei and Rory Gilmore from the Gilmore Girls, a show that I used to be not forced to watch, but I used to watch with my mom, and I just used to find the mom really sexy for some reason. Okay. It's a good pick.

I like her too. Just to be clear, you're taking the mom and daughter from Gilmore Girls. yes because I'm pretty sure the mom's not doing well Reid you're like a vulture circle in that pick I respect that Nate I named a cartoon character so

so with my fifth pick I'm going with another movie that shaped me as a youth Bull Durham's Susan Sarandon boy was my first real taste of an older woman who knew exactly what she was doing and how to get it. And it was hot. It was hot. It was hot.

And then my honorable mention will be, God, it was just taking down Cougars. That's a little. My two honorable mentions are Cheryl Hines. Oh. And Denise Richards. Did nobody pick J-Lo?

Nope. We got to cancel the draft. Can we do it one last round so somebody can do it? I can do another round. Let's do another round. Sure. This is like guys at a bar. Let's name another hot actress.

We also take Jessica Alba. Oh, that's a great one, Kyle. Save it. We'll do one more round. I'll fall in the J-Lo grenade. Go ahead. Go ahead. Go ahead.

Who's up? You can have J-Lo. Let's see, my big board is a little low here. Who said Cheryl Hines a minute ago? Kyle. Pretty good, Kyle. Pretty good. Pretty good.

Heather Locklear is my sixth. Ooh. Yes, sir. Somebody take J-Lo. Please take that woman. You're up. You can take her. Oh.

Shannon Elizabeth. Robidope. J-Lo, undrafted. Not nice. Not friendly. Is it so like you couldn't wait for someone to pick her so you can say all that. No, honestly, I was going to draft. No, I was going to draft J-Lo until I saw Shannon Elizabeth.

on my fucking list right here and I said nobody nobody deserves to be drafted with a nostalgic eye more than Shannon Elizabeth than American Pie dude I don't think I had had sex at that point in my life American Pie when did that come out 99 hadn't had sex yet so it was mystical I was like man this is crazy I hope I don't end up like him

I do but I I hope it's not that quick we all did end up like him Speak for yourself, you know. All right. I'm torn on this last one. I was like Ken Griffey Jr. First Picked at the Kingdom. Just had it figured out.

Only my dad wasn't in the dugout. I was about to say with your dad. Just having a catch with my dad. Shannon Elizabeth, man. Had that guy so worked up, he fucked a pie, dude. He fucked a cobbler. All right. I think I'm going to go with Nev Campbell here.

Neff Campbell. I didn't think of her until somebody mentioned Denise Richards. Denise Richards. I think this has to be like an NFL draft. I think we need to go one more round. I think we need to go seven rounds. There's a lot of value in the seven. You do not want to miss.

Who's a miss is irrelevant. You do not want to miss David Vovora here, man. Fuck. Okay. Six. I am going with Gabriel Union. Wow. In the back of my six.

Bring it on. Oh, Impala. Bring it on was a great movie. And, yeah, she was very hot in that movie. All the women that the game referenced in her. It's cold in here. You think some white girls came up with that shit? No, dude.

Didn't say that. Is that in the movie? That's one of her lines. I don't remember the movie that was. Came in the atmosphere. Oh, man. It's about like a white chilling squad. I know it's about stealing.

Yeah. Stealing from the black going across town to the hood and watching the black girls' routines and stealing them and bringing them back. Believe me, I would love it if that would stop altogether. The dab in the white community is one of the worst things that ever happened to us. Dab. I mean, like, get the dab out of here. Do your son's dab? They look like little dabbers.

If my son's dab, they're going to their room for a long time, dude. If my kid's dab, first we're going to start with the Nintendo Switch. I'm going to throw it in the road. I'm going to watch somebody run it over. And then I'm going to go with the grounding. Sixth round pick, accompanied by animal crackers, Barnum and Bailey, the type of animal crackers. I'm going to go to live Tyler Armageddon. Oh, Kyle, what a pick.

Dan, I'm got people cussing you back here. To the wild plains and the mountains, Ben Affleck. That's a great pick, Kyle. Kyle, great. that was my sex talk I was you just were left out in the wild after that first experience

I was like nobody ever gave me animal crap mom and dad just didn't even try to give you the talk because they're like man the way I got scared out of it dude and I think to complete my destiny here seventh round I'll go Brittany Murphy

rest in peace that's a great dick man She was gorgeous, man. She was gorgeous. Somber Turn here. Reed, what did you just do, dude? I had to complete my destiny. It is far too soon to be adding new era dead actresses.

I don't know. Oh, man, Reed, you're fucking, that's crazy. That's a great pink. So you got to be bold to fucking to win the draft. I understand. I overstand, Reed. I overstand. I hope I get another pick.

See, I think Maya is a little too young to be picking for nostalgic. I think Maya can get me into trouble. No, no. The boy is mine. You know how old I was when that came out? We were young, but like she was on Nickelodeon. She was hot. Yeah, so Nickelodeon Maya.

But as soon as she started being an adult, married man, not into her. Stop being a scary Potter Scary Potter Yeah that's your nickname Scary Potter Look when you do this Scary Potter Yeah

Spend one night on the same roof With Meg She'll cut you bro He heard that We seen Kyle knows No we've seen that Just put the gloves on Yeah

She Yeah Jersey's different than Connecticut Yeah That's good All right Kyle All right He just gets to be

On the other end of the zoo No, that's a good one. That's a good one. What's up? Talking big shit by the lake, man. Four hour flight. Right? Four hour flight and three hour drive.

So there we go. So you took Maya? Yeah, sure. All right, cool. Nickelode and Maya. Can we put that in the graphic? Can we put that in the graphic? Nickelodeon Maya?

Sure. I remember with an asterisk, not the adult Maya. Enjoying Maya's work. Because I'm married. Asterisks, not the adult Maya because I'm married. I'm going to go with Winona Ryder She's so hot Great fucking pick

Beetlejuice Winona Ryder Oh my God Matt You just won the draft Hold on hold your horses Chris Right stop it That is tremendous fucking value And she's like She's wild dude

We have to put up like a pole It'd be great It'd be great It'd be great Because you're never going to win Like your list always suck. Like to be totally honest. Are you having a bad day?

He came in. He was. He having a bad day. Not stoked. Are you going to miss me? Is that it? Maybe that's what it is. That might be it.

Maybe that's what it is. That might be it. I think I've won some drafts. I think I've lost some drafts. But I think there's a lot of projection going on today is what I think's going on today. Somebody doesn't feel good today. I'm doing a little. Yeah.

I'm setting up for another segment. Pour it into the. microphone Nate I'm making us all feel the hurt setting up for another segment yeah I'm throwing her in here right here go ahead and it is Vivica a Foxe yeah 50 cent another kill bill actress didn't he another kill bill yes that's a great it's a great pick Lucy Lou can be on this board too and she's and supposedly she's a freak and I like that so Lucy Lou no Vivica Fox Lucy Lou should be on the list.

I almost picked her. If there was an eighth round. Oh, fuck, dude. Two point conversion. The Charlie's Angels? Lightning round, two point conversion, eight. This is it. This is round eight.

No, no, no. Okay. Last pick. Okay. Miss, excuse me, irrelevant. Kyle. Draft misses doubtfire, Kyle. Is it me right now?

That's so funny. Yes, sir. With my final pick and arguably the best one, from the fifth element Mila Lelu Govavavovich Who?

Multipass That's a fire movie by the way Yeah it is Also dazed and confused I always wanted to meet a girl With orange suspenders And you know I have it

Kyle dude people are gonna know That you're a gamer Looking at some of this list I'll take it to a pop up Kyle You'll see a few All right So we'll let the people decide We're going to put it out to a vote.

Nate's going to pose a vote to the people when this comes out. Because it is very important for him to win this draft. I'm gathering. No, I just want to see. We're just out here hitting baseballs, Nate. We're just out here taking cuts, man, you know? Yeah. I miss some people.

Let me just say this. After that draft, I'm concerned. My computer thinks I'm really horny. Do you guys any of you guys feel really dirty after Googling all those women? Um, just another normal day. Okay. Watch list. That's funny.

That was a joke for the record. No, I know. That's why I go through all the time. Do people think I'm serious? All right. Hope you had fun.