Green Light with Chris Long - Kyle Long! MNF Recap: Jason Peters & Tyler Smith, Golladay & Jerry Jones Loves Cooper Rush. Mailbag.
Episode Date: September 28, 2022(2:19) - Housekeeping 1: MNF, Cville Gentleman's fantasy Football League Punishment and NFL Team Scoring is Down. (40:15) - Housekeeping 2: Softball, Redemption for Mark Sanchez and Dan Orlovsky, and ...Kyle's Instagram Password. (55:44) - Mailbag: Brandon Staley Calls Kyle Long, Locker Rooms After Blowouts or Close Losses and More! Green Light Spotify Music: https://open.spotify.com/user/951jyryv2nu6l4iqz9p81him9?si=17c560d10ff04a9b Spotify Layup Line: https://open.spotify.com/playlist/1olmCMKGMEyWwOKaT1Aah3?si=675d445ddb824c42 Green Light Tube YouTube Channel: https://www.youtube.com/c/GreenLightTube1 Green Light with Chris Long: Subscribe and enjoy weekly content including podcasts, documentaries, live chats, celebrity interviews and more including hot news items, trending discussions from the NFL, MLB, NHL, NBA, NCAA are just a small part of what we will be sharing with you. https://www.greenlightpodcast.com/ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
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Welcome to the Greenlight podcast.
Thank you to everyone who submitted some mailbag questions on Instagram and Twitter.
We asked you all delivered.
Chris and Kyle picked out some of their favorites and answered.
It also got Chris's creative juice's phone and he came up with a few of his own.
Enjoy the fun on the back half of the show to start Chris reviews Monday night football
and talks about how scoring the NFL is down.
Stay tuned for our double drop Wednesday.
We've got Tom Garsting.
He was a contestant on the history channels.
alone and he's a native of central Virginia right here in our backyard.
He was generous enough to join us in studio.
To recap his time on the show, what he learned and the relationships he made.
Quiet day at Studio J today.
We got Bo Allen out.
He's on the disabled list with a hurricane.
So he's stacking up sandbags outside of his Tampa residents.
I think he might even be evacuated by now.
Bucks, Chiefs, which is going to be a hell of a game,
is probably going to be played in New Orleans
or in Minnesota from what I'm hearing.
So it's impacting the Greenlight Pod.
It's impacting the NFL.
Hurricane Ian could be asshole.
How do they name these things, man?
I just know they're ordered alphabetically.
So the one that comes after the next one is this next letter in the alphabet.
I don't know who actually chooses the name.
Oh, interesting.
But they got to run out at some point.
Well, Beau's evacuated.
He's okay.
and Bo will be in Philly, hopefully this weekend at our, you know, our Legends tailgate.
Go to the chriselong Foundation.org website to check that out under events.
We're going to be tailgating at the Navy Yard before the game.
I'm going to have a few former Eagles players there, myself included.
We're going to be bullshit in shotgun and beers.
We'll be doing a live show, Greenlight, in the parking lot there with Philly Media,
a legend less Bowen by my side.
So as well as guys like Brent Selleck, Todd Harriman's is talking about coming out,
A.J. Feely.
And Bo, if Ian doesn't act like a total asshole this week.
But yeah, no, no, no.
It's probably going to rain a lot here too.
So the river's going to be up.
And I'm thinking maybe we should get on that pumpkin.
We can give it a shot.
I was kind of thinking maybe we, yeah, we could get on.
By the way, what did we, what did the fans name the pumpkin read?
hydrated pumpkin not my favorite you know my favorite was the cornucopia canoe cornucopia canoe that's what
i voted for as well but hydrated pumpkin so we're going to draw that we'll write your twitter right
next to it hydrated king so to let people in on this again where i want to break the record 38 miles down
a river on a pumpkin a guy in missouri uh did it a few months ago he said you know i take my hat off to
whoever breaks this record, they're probably pretty tough, which probably disqualifies me.
But I think I've got an outside chance.
We've been trying to get a hold of this guy to no avail.
We just want some fucking pointers how I might increase my chances of completing this mission.
His name's Dwayne Hansen, but they call him Cinderfella because of the pumpkin.
Because Cinderella travels in a giant pumpkin carriage to meet her prints.
And a total Dwayne.
You know, this is a Dwayne move, dude.
shout out to Duane.
I'm coming for that record.
You have to wear George and a camo hat just like he did.
No problem.
Cool.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
What are you going to wear?
Because you're going to be right there with me for all of the one or two days that we're
going to be doing this.
I'm just going to hype this up until I have to do it.
This is kind of how I do everything, including the Waffle House, which is coming up.
Oh, right.
I got to go to the Waffle House coming up for last year's Thursday Night Time Machine.
I'm 0 and 1 already this year because of last week.
in the Steelers. So we'll be back there. More housekeeping. We talked about Bo,
Bose out with a hurricane. Oh, the Charlottesville Gentlemen League has settled on a
fantasy punishment. You know, we've been going back and forth on this thing. Good news
is I'm two and one. I feel like it's probably not going to be me. The better news is
this sounds like a fucking real a real cupcake punishment to me. What have they got lined up?
So we settled on, I didn't settle on this. The group settled on this is like it's like
kind of a hunger games deal where the loser has to run like this guy's got a 60 acre farm the
loser's going to be running around this motherfucker in a ralphie the bunny suit making making says that
we should still do uh making things we should evade taxes like the loser has to evade the irs
you know like that's actually quite genius quite dangerous dude yeah like you really don't want to
lose but that's probably what he already does you know how he is about money or so for him he's just
making it easy on him because he's probably already evading taxes loophole right exactly so we we there's
no giving up it's 60 acres it's a guy in a bunny suit and it's a bunch of people with paintball guns so it's
basically like hunger games uh and you have an hour out in the woods and you know like there's no
limitation on how many times you get hit by paintballs that doesn't sound that bad doesn't sound that
bad i might lose the league on purpose be like Sylvester salone in first blood
You know what I mean?
Like that's the way I would, I would be, I would be like Arnold Schwarzenegger and Predator, the original,
with all the booby traps and shit.
But I'm obviously not going to lose the league.
Somebody said loser gets an hour to hide set up and is strapped.
They're strapped?
So they get a gun?
Yeah.
After that hour, the search begins war lasts two hours.
If the loser shoots you, that's where you draft.
So that's where you draft.
So if you get shot first, you have the 10th pick.
Oh, interesting.
If we shoot Captial Luser,
they face a firing squad.
If we don't shoot Captial Luser in those two hours,
loser gets first picked.
That sounds stupid.
It does.
And also,
if I was going to play that game,
I'd want to be the person that lost the league.
That sounds the most fun because you're like,
you can shoot the other people.
This isn't even a punishment.
This sucks, dude.
I know,
I know some of these guys are listening to this podcast.
I'm going to text back.
That's a stupid fucking punishment.
But I'll go with the flow.
Tommy Altars League, that piece of shit.
I'm two and one.
So, last bit of housekeeping.
Oh, yeah, I'm the Eagles Honorary Captain this weekend.
So that's exciting.
Yeah, yeah, round of applause.
It's great.
Thank you guys.
Yeah, thank you.
Honorary Captain.
Do you have an outfit you're going to wear?
I have no idea what I'm going to wear.
And then Whalen.
Eagles jacket, duh.
Probably my Eagles jacket.
I got to check the weather.
Run the parade outfit back.
No, I'm not running.
That's a me guy move.
You don't, right?
You don't want to, that's a, that's a, I love this crowd move.
They love you in that outfit.
That's a hard-o move, dude.
I guess I love me in that.
It's shooting fish in a barrel with that.
I want to make it a little harder.
So Sunday, it's probably going to rain.
Dog mask?
They're raining, they're raining on my parade.
No, I'm not wearing a dog mask.
But if it rains, I got to think of my fit.
And it's going to really, like my kids are going with me.
We want to put them in jerseys, the whole nine yards.
and there's been some back and forth
about what Wayland should wear.
I said put him in Elaine Johnson jersey
and my wife was like, no offense, Elaine.
I think he's got this Alan Iverson jersey.
That would be pretty cool.
That is cool.
With like a long sleeve under it.
I like that you could give them both jerseys
that are vaguely penis related with Johnson and Cox.
Yeah, I thought about that,
but then it's kind of like dick jokes
using your kids for dick jokes.
Is that a no-no?
Yeah, it's probably a co-break.
So, yeah, I'm going to be out there.
at the coin toss.
I'm going to see Doug E.P.
Up there.
How do you think the crowd will react to Doug?
Because they're famously difficult crowd.
I think they're going to cheer him.
I think they'll absolutely cheer him.
That guy's a legend in Philly.
So I don't think anybody on that roster,
ironically, except for Carson Wentz,
is fair game.
Because Carson just made them feel a certain way.
It's like the disdain for his play,
and then the rejection that they felt
when he didn't want to stay
and be hated.
You know, it was like, you don't want to play our game?
Wait, you won out?
We benched you, we hate you, you want out?
So, like, he's the only guy probably on the team
that's fair game for Eagles fans to boo.
Like, Doug Peterson's going to get a hero's welcome,
and he should.
They won't boo Jason Peters when he plays for the co-boys.
Listen, man, and, you know,
some people said, well, the Deshawn Jackson situation was different.
Sean Jackson, of course, left for Washington.
And, you know, it was Chip's fault.
And so that softens the blow, the whole thing.
But Jason Peters is 40 years old.
He's trying to continue to play football.
He probably only had one option.
It happened to be the Dallas Cowboys.
And by the way, as we get into last night, he looked pretty good.
He got in the second quarter and right away sealed a dude that sprung a long Pollard run.
And really looks solid.
I mean, that's got to be pretty cool.
We used to joke with Martellus Bennett about, you know,
when he retired, he would move into tackle and play another 10 years
because he's like 280.
And, you know, there are some guys that I feel like could move a little closer to the ball,
put on a couple pounds, and keep that train rolling.
And Jason Peters being as massive as he is and great as he is as a vet,
he's got technique, he's got experience.
He brings them something, if not depth.
You know what I'm saying?
So good to see him in Dallas.
I'm not an Eagles lifer.
I am now, but I didn't grow up watching the Eagles the way y'all did.
So you can't expect me to react as viscerally as y'all do when you see Jason Peters in a Dallas uniform.
I thought the guy looked good and I say good for him.
And while I'm on the O' line, I want to stay here for a second.
Mr. Tyler Smith is what I call him.
Because when he gets out in fucking space, you better respect that guy.
He looks like one of those old school Dallas Cowboys offensive linemen.
I mean, he is, it's a perfect place for him.
And he's going to play a long time there.
Only gave up, I think, one pressure last night.
One pressure, 31 snaps.
I think he gave up one to Ojolari.
By the way, Tibado, I want to give him some time.
I mean, just good to see him back out there.
Didn't do much last night, but, you know, he's got a ways to go.
He'll have time to catch up.
His last game, he got injured on a chop block, right?
Yeah.
How much do you think that was playing into his mind?
I think he's looking and the Cowboys ran a lot of two tight-end sets.
Like Brian Baldinger talked about this.
You know, Cooper Rush has been protected differently.
The offense has worked differently under Cooper Rush.
They're playing differently under Cooper Rush.
And one of those things they're doing is getting in a lot of two tight-end sets
and those sorts of things.
I guarantee you the rest of his career,
Tibido will not miss a split zone.
Like he'll be hitting that tight end
before the guy can set his feet.
And he should because that's a great teacher,
his pain, man.
And I know that hurt.
And I know that really derailed the beginning of his season,
but it's all about film study pre-snap recognition.
And I don't think that's going to slow him down a long run.
I just think what's going to happen is he's going to look
across the formation a little bit more.
Cooper Rush is the story.
Shout out to Billy Football.
Cooper Rush Ashana
is what he called him
serving up Lamb with a touchdown for the new year.
That's good.
And a happy new year to our Jewish listeners
as well.
I love that everybody has a different new year.
Yeah, they say Shannatova.
The New Year.
Shonatova?
Shonatova.
Shonatova.
Shon Tova.
Tov to those folks.
I know we've got the Chinese New Year
coming up at some point in the next
year?
Yeah, I mean, different languages,
different calendars, different religions,
you know.
Time is a flat circle.
It's not real.
But happy New Year.
And, you know, Cooper Rush is,
that's three fourth quarter overtime,
game-winning drives in a row to start his career.
Dan Quinn was playing chess last night.
He's moving Micah Parsons all over the field.
Of course, you know,
Jeff Schwartz and I were texting earlier,
and he pointed out really adeptly
that they were moving to Marcus Lawrence
around and if you go to Jeff Schwartz's Twitter, you'll see some of the posts that he,
the clips that he had posted. But when you have a guy like Michael Parsons, the question is,
do you like to move around as a rush or do you like to stay in one place? I always like
lining up in one place left end, you know, because I was more of a, you know, right-handed
player. You want your inside hand to be your strong hand. I also had a better push leg because
there's some injuries to my right knee. So, you know, like I was always suited better for that
side. Somebody as good as Michael Parsons, you know, he can probably rush anywhere. And he's young
enough that he's building habits all over the field. Like, you know, he lined up five different
places last, last night in the first half alone. I think what he does is, it's kind of like pre-snap
motion. We talk about pre-stap motion a lot. Like the last couple days, especially, I think we talked
about it with Miami, with Jacksonville. You know, this is pre-stap motion for an offense. It's not
only does an offense have to sift through like where's the safety down how's everybody rolled like
what does it look like do we have pressure do we have man do we have zone but you got to you got to figure
out where micha parsons is like if micha parsons is in one place it's a lot easier he's moving around
that might not be the best thing for him maybe you want to get into a rhythm against an evanneal
like demarcus lawrence did but maybe your best matchup exploitations are all over the field so
I'm totally fine with him moving around
and DeMarcus Lawrence played a great game
I've always been a fan of his game
man injuries have kind of made it a little bit
more of an up and down deal for him the last
couple but I can remember the year he had like
14 and a half
absolute dog
just an all round really good player and moved
all up and down the line last night I saw him
win inside left guard right guard
in the A gap loop stunts
damn near had seven sacks
honestly really go back and watch the tape
this guy almost had seven
sacks last night. And that's the thing about being a rusher. Like when you get there, you got to make
him count, but against the Giants, maybe you'll get there again. And again, and again, and I know I talked
about Evan Neal and preseason to hurt some people's feelings, but he was top heavy. And when he
stops his feet, he has a hard time getting started again. He leans. And if you can do that cross chop,
um, that DeMarcus, uh, Lawrence has really, it's worked for him a lot in his career. And it worked last
night three times, dude.
Fool me thrice, dude, over there
at right tackle.
Evan Neal, what that
does is it shortens the corner, and by shortening
the corner, I mean, as a rush or without
elite speed, elite
burst to the edge,
getting to seven yards, beating a tackle
to seven yards, Demarchus Lawrence, or
a guy like myself, needed,
needs mechanisms
to sit a tackle down
at four or five yards
so that you can turn your hips more easily,
at four or five yards. If I stop him in his tracks at four yards with that stutter that
that DeMarcus Lawrence was doing last night, okay, Evan Neal's feet stop, his weight goes forward,
now you cross-chop down and you get his edge. And if there's two yards of wash as he
tries to push you by, you're at six, not nine, if that makes sense. So it's setting people
down quicker. Mike Waffle, our D-line coach, used to always talk about, you know, dictating the terms
of a rush. And, you know, tilt tracks and shortening the edge. A tilt track being, hey, I'm
going to angle right in a tackle. So when he kicks as hard as he can because he may be afraid of
my speed, I'm headed right for his inside shoulder, which is going to make him effectively stop
his feet. And if I can burst back outside the way DeMarcus Lawrence was last night, that's a
winning rush. And Robert Quinn used to do a cross chop great. And the reason Robert Quinn was so great
was he could shorten the edge and pop back out or he could just run by you too.
And so a big night.
Yeah, he's still killing it.
Big night for,
for DeMarcus Lawrence.
You mentioned Mike Waffle.
He's the first ever guest of a podcast in a Waffle House.
Well,
I thought that was Aaron Foster.
I thought that was Billy Football.
Setting the record straight.
Mr. Cooper Rosh Hashana.
Come on,
Big T.
Check your family.
No, it's all good.
It's all good.
We can,
hey, guys,
we can share that corner,
you know?
But yeah,
like the defense had a big day,
a bunch of sacks,
bunch of pressures.
I just don't feel like Daniel Jones
has real good spidey senses, man.
Like somebody would be about to sack this dude
and he's just looking down and field,
which I don't fault him for.
He's not afraid, you know, from this.
He'll go for it.
For a kid from Duke who probably has a bunch of vineyard vines,
like I am not, he's not afraid.
And he's pretty tough.
He takes a beating.
He's a good athlete, but if he was my backup quarterback,
I'd feel great about it.
Yeah, yeah.
So, I mean, like the defense played well.
We, you know, we had Jerry Jones kind of,
Jerry Jones continues to pour gas on the fire with this Dak Prescott Cooper Rush thing.
Last night I had an Ed Harris and Truman show meme all fired up.
Like Ed Harris proudly looking down on Jim Carrey in his little fake world.
That's the way Jerry was looking down at the end of the game at Cooper Rush.
He was just so proud of him, Cooper Rush.
You know, I'm just so proud of that boy.
You know, I might drum up a quarterback controversy.
A fine southern quarterback controversy.
And he is.
But when that gets back, I think he's got too much invested in him.
I think he sees that, like, listen, Cooper Rush runs the offense differently.
The top end of this offense is different.
The team plays better or the team plays more carefully with him in the game.
Although the Cowboys missed a lot of opportunities last night.
Defensively, they missed a big one.
Trayvon Diggs, he could have to pick six, went right through his hands.
They had a bunch of penalties.
But no mistakes were more like, oh, fuck, than C.D. Lamb dropping that ball for what would have been an easy walking touchdown.
I mean, like, he's as open as I've seen anybody in the NFL this year at that depth.
and Cooper Rush hit him on the hands.
He hit the rookie on the hands,
I think before the half on a go route.
But that CD lamb drop was just brutal,
especially if you had Cowboys over team total and Cowboys Live.
The number was 19.
And at that point, I'm like, fuck, what are we doing, man?
Like, come on, CD.
And then he's laughing and you're like,
you better come back and make a play at some point in this game.
Not only that, he dropped the ball on third and whatever it was.
in the first half
in a field goal
is a baseball game
man, it's a fucking baseball score
and the guy, you know,
like every score counts,
he drops a ball
on third down
in plus territory
instead of being able
to kick a field goal
they got a punt.
So like he was behind
the eight ball in the second half
but when I tell you
he redeemed himself
on that last drive
and by the way
Mike McCarthy going for it
on fourth and four
nuts on the table
right.
Mojo moment.
Yep.
Randy Marsh
Mojo moment.
Balls in the wheelbarrow moment.
Randy Marsh moment.
Fourth and four, he goes,
and who else does he look to Cooper Rush at the sticks?
And he gets clobbered right on the other side of the sticks is C.D. Lamb.
And he holds on to that football.
A couple of plays later, you get him in the corner of the end zone with one hand.
And making that really difficult play is the perfect way to redeem yourself.
Because it's not, it's not like you have to,
it's like one of those easy catches where you're like,
let me not fuck this one up again.
It's like, throw me a ball that if I miss it,
nobody's going to look at me sideways.
And that ball was in the right place where only he could catch it.
And it took a spectacular catch.
And so for C.D. Lamb, who's got to step up big for them this year,
that's a big, big performance for him in the second half, shaking it off and heading to the locker room.
Feeling a lot better than he probably did when he went in it to half.
So big win for them.
Listen, I said they might not be in it when down.
If Dak gets back, if Dak is back for LA, they're going to be in it.
You know, if Dak is, you know, six to eight weeks as it was first reported,
I don't know.
This isn't how the Cowboys can live every week.
I don't think the Giants are that good.
No, but they got Washington at home next week.
They get Washington at home next week.
They probably win that ball game.
They got L.A. coming up, which will be a challenge.
And then they got Philly, I think it is.
So really pivotal three weeks stretch for them because the Eagles don't look like a team that's
going to lose a lot.
The Eagles, well, I'm going to see this weekend against, you know, the Jags.
And I think, ironically, this is,
might be their toughest test for a while. Eagles are favored to win the NFC now. And those odds came
out today. If you look at the rest of the Eagles schedule, find me a top five quarterback outside Aaron
Rogers and find me a game that they're not going to be favored in. I think in the athletic,
somebody had set the odds for all these games based on models and that sort of thing. But
each game they're favored in the rest of the season. Yeah. So, you know, Eagles,
In the driver's seat, they'll be favored.
No top five quarterbacks outside Aaron Rogers.
You don't have a lot of room.
This is a Cowboys team that if you're thinking about winning the division,
you should probably think more about the wild card.
And I'm not calling it early, but I'm just telling you,
these are two teams in totally different places.
Even if you've had good health so far,
as long as that continues.
That's the key.
Exactly, exactly.
So good night for Cooper Rush.
She's been really good against the Blitz.
And again, another game-winning drive.
You had the drops for C.D. Lamb.
He got over them.
Parsons D. Law.
They played well.
We talked about Mr. Tyler Smith.
And then I just want to shout out a couple people.
A couple hollow men for the Giants.
Number one, the guy just smothered in blue paint.
You know, I got 50,000 retweets on this or likes on this thing.
Like, I was just at the kitchen table watching Monday Night Football.
and noticed the guy who had just put the whole bucket of Sherwin Williams on his face.
He had painted a giant's helmet on his face,
so he's got the stripe going all the way up and down his face.
He looks dejected.
I think it might have been after the Kenny Goliday drop or something,
but this guy's just staring into a void.
And I couldn't help but thinking about the fact that all these people that fuck themselves up like this,
they have to drive home.
And they have to wash it off.
Like first I'm imagining this guy like, you know, at the toll with with a blue face with guy at the gas sticks on his cheeks.
I don't think he was crying.
I think this guy like you know you're showing up and you know what could happen when you paint your face like that.
Like it is within the realm of possibility.
The cowboys are are slight dogs, you know, at MetLife.
Like you know you could lose this game to Cooper Rush.
Got to support the team.
You got to support the team.
the team. That man is driving home quietly. No music on. I know he doesn't have any music on.
He's not listening to music. His face is blue. He's driving through tolls. He gets home. How long
is it take to wash that shit off? By the time you get home, it might be three, four hours
so you got to go to work, depending on where this cat lives. So, uh...
And then the anxiety of maybe he missed a spot. He wakes up in the morning and maybe there's some
behind his ear. Oh, my God. Dude, imagine trying to climb it.
to bed and like get some action after that like you come home and you're like you think you're
entitled to maybe some sex you know you're like hey babe she's like you have blue shit all over
your face now it's on the bed go wash yourself off you're drunk like this guy dude and i'll admit
in high school early high school late middle school that time period i think i was 13 i went to a
Carolina Panthers game with my buddy Austin Yon.
We painted our faces.
I think it was two tone.
You know, I was in the stands.
I got the awkward picture with the,
with the cheerleaders.
I was like tall as shit, had a bad haircut,
stood in between them,
clenched fists behind in small of their backs
because I didn't want to put, you know,
like too awkward to put the fingertips
on the small of the back.
I got the fucking clenched fists.
I'm taking pictures with, you know,
painted face and really hot cheerleaders.
Like I've been there,
but I was in middle school.
Maybe this guy's like a mega celebrity that just wants to be left alone.
Not a code break though.
He could be.
Like I heard Eminem used to go to Detroit games in a mask, Lions games.
So yeah, that could be the guy from King of Queens or something.
Was it a lunch bag on his head?
It wasn't a lunch bag.
That was the Saints.
You think Harry Connick Jr.
has been to a Saints game and a fucking trash bag before?
So yeah, Hollow Man goes to that guy.
But I also want to send some support to people that paint their faces and wear jerseys, man.
It's not a code break.
If it weren't for you, we wouldn't even be talking about this right now.
So, like, I'm all for it.
And then the second Hollow Man is going to be, it's going to be Kenny Goliday, man.
This is a real shame.
Listen, he's a good player.
He got overpaid.
I mean, he's on a $72 million contract.
And, of course, it's a terrible place to be on a $72 million contract when you're barely catching any football.
he's got two catches for 22 yards so far on the season
he had a bad you know supposedly a bad
OTA he had a bad training camp preseason
they've got some they got a white guy out there
a former quarterback like dables running it back
on the Chris Hogan you know fucking I wonder if this guy
played lacrosse and went to Rutgers but but um
they're playing this this guy I've never heard of
over Kenny Goliday and at what point are you
are you making a point and at what
point like will you need him because after he dropped that ball last night and I mean I felt
terrible for him uh in the light of in light of everything he said this past week which by the way
if you don't know the background Kenny Galladay was asked about the fact that he wasn't playing a lot
and he was I thought he did a masterful job of answering to a very aggressive media pool like
they were pressing him on are you unhappy here do you want to be traded he didn't take away from
the team but he stood up for himself individually said I want to play
more and he got his first target and drops the ball on third and twelve or whatever it is.
I don't know that he gets the sticks, but it was a bad, bad look.
He got booed, went to the sideline.
I feel for him.
Listen, here's the craziest part about his whole contract situation is the reason they can't
move him is the money, right?
They can't move him because the money.
He was owed $14.5 million dollars this year or something like that.
Ten million of that was guaranteed.
Four and a half million dollars was guaranteed the first day of the league year.
what's wrong with that usually people's guarantees like that kick in three days in the league year his
kicked in the first day right so gettelman is food to these agents man like as soon as the league year
started you couldn't cut him because you know like you got to tack that on to another 10 million which
was coming guaranteed if i understand it correctly so 14 and a half million dollars fully guaranteed
um wow that's interesting and that's the last last regime there so um i know dable might just be
fucking mad at Joe Judge and fucking Gettleman.
And when they signed them, they won in 2019, Kenny Ghaladay.
They got, you know, some version of whatever.
But 2020 only played five games, and they signed him after that, hoping he'd
returned to form in, you know, 2019.
So, you know, it's going to be interesting seeing what they do with him because Shepard
got hurt right after this whole thing.
I feel terrible for Shepard.
He's a great kid.
He's had a lot of bad luck, non-contact injury.
Odell Beckham's asking,
why don't we play on grass?
And I'm asking what took you so long?
Because I fucking hate field turf.
And it's terrible to look at on TV.
And if we want to go with the non-contact injury thing,
I will ride this to the wheels fall off
until we're out there with grass stains on Thanksgiving.
Because I can't take it anymore.
I can't take watching it.
I can't take watching guys get hurt on it.
It doesn't make things feel better when you're out there.
It feels good to play on grass.
Now, some guys like Tori Smith,
my good friend we've argued over this he wants all dome stadiums it is crazy actually to think about
it that there's like two totally different surfaces that affect the game so much and it can be so
different based on how you build your team no question hey real quick and then we're going to
get kyle in here scoring is down it's the lowest since 2006 so we got 42 points a game combined
is the average through three weeks here which is just bad for the league it's it's it's it's
it's bad for gamblers because you're so afraid to bet the under.
In Vegas, by the way, they made their adjustments quick.
Like, right?
It's not like people have been winning bets on totals because of these total,
you know, the actual totals going down.
Vegas adjusted while we were all drunk on Sundays.
They were in the lab.
Between 2013 and 2019, it was 22.8 points per game.
2020 was 24.8.
So there was a big jump in 24.
And now for three years,
Scoring's been down mostly the last couple years since 2020.
And then also passer ratings have gone down lately.
The reason 2020 was an outlier was we had more P.I.
If you remember, that was that whole increased emphasis on PI.
So offenses were just going crazy.
And maybe we needed that infusion as a league coming off of all the social stuff that people said,
I'm going to take my fucking direct TV subscription.
And the refs had no fear of calling the flags because there was no crowd.
Well, there was no crowd.
and there was no crowd, and that takes the fear out of it,
but it also takes the crowd noise out of it.
So if you're playing offense on the road, like, there's no challenges.
I can remember Detroit playing the Eagles and beating the Carson Wedd-Wentz-led Eagles.
There's a bunch of cardboard cutouts in the stands.
It was the most bizarre thing I've ever seen,
but it's not fucking difficult to play on the road in 2020.
So you had the PIs, you had less holding.
I remember J.J. Watt tweeting about that.
Like, they were holding a bunch, not calling it.
And then you had no fans.
in the stadium. We talked about that.
And coaches were going for it a lot on fourth down.
I feel like 2020 was the year that the coaches started reading their mentions.
And they were going on fourth and short a lot more.
So 17 teams under 20 points a game through three weeks.
In 2021, only 10 teams averaged under 20 points a game.
So there's a lot that goes into that.
I think it's kind of obvious why scoring's down.
You've got injuries.
You have DAC out.
You have Stafford hurt.
I know he's playing, but he's hurt.
You have Zach Wilson out.
I mean, it's not insignificant that you know.
Chicago Bears by themselves bring down the league average.
Chicago Bears are running the ball on third down.
Trey Lance got hurt.
Not that that's a big driver of points, but like you get the point.
There's James is playing with a broken back.
Herbert's hurt.
You know, Brady wasn't at camp.
So there's a big, you know, long time that they had to get ready without their starting quarterback.
You had injuries there.
Rogers without Adams.
He had Adams for eight years.
He also doesn't have MVS.
You had an injury.
for Bachtiari's just coming back.
Elton Jenkins,
Burrow misses camp with an appendectomy.
I mean,
like his own line sucks.
Matt Ryan's got new receivers,
barely.
Most of the top players in the draft are on defense.
Exactly.
Tanna Hill lost A.J. Brown.
Russ, new guys, right?
Let's ride, but, you know,
we're going to start slow.
And Mack Jones has seven offensive coordinators.
So, like, by the way, being Brian Horace sucks,
dude.
Imagine you've been Thursday.
thing to play meaningful football anywhere but Cleveland because that's where you got most of your
snaps right? Yep. A chance to prove who you are. Oh, New England, this is going to be fun.
Well, let me answer to two guys who have never called offense before. Like literally Brian
Hoyer, I've said before, should call that offense. He should. They don't really have a choice.
They should let him be the first coach player in history. Besides Aaron Rogers, of course,
who in week 17 one year led the Packers to like a million yards. Great associate.
great associate in history.
But bottom line is it's a bunch of great quarterbacks who are going through changes.
Brady lost Gronk.
You know, we talked about the injuries.
Rogers is retooling.
Mahomes lost Cheetah.
You know, Herbert lost Keenan Allen through two of the first three weeks.
He's on a bad rib.
And we talk about Russell adjusting.
Everybody's adjusting.
Lamar's been playing great because he's got better weapons than last year.
Tua's been playing great because he's got better weapons than last year.
Jalen's playing great.
He's got better weapons than last year.
All three of those guys have great schemes, too.
They have great schemes, great weapons.
A lot of these kind of like, you know,
top five guys perennially.
And the bills are, the scoring is probably down a touch, maybe.
At least early in the game,
Warren Sharp had pointed this out.
In the first half, they're a little less aggressive.
Ken Dorsey's schemes a little bit more like Dink and Dunk,
you know, death by a thousand paper cuts.
So I think the scoring will come back up,
but it is an interesting look at what the league looks like
when the goats aren't firing on all cylinders.
It does feel a little weird, right?
It kind of feels weird to put, you know,
some of the teams as high as we are.
We're like, really, there's not any better teams than that?
Right.
And is that now called the Dorsey when the OC flips out in the booth?
It's got to be.
It's got to be.
He needs somebody else to do that for a shot at redemption.
Ken Dorsey needs a hold me back guy.
So I got to go to softball in a second here.
But when I get back from softball, we'll brief you on the game.
And my brother, Kyle, will be in and we'll do it.
We'll do a mailbag.
we'll have some fun.
But that's the fastest.
Also, Vegas, by the way,
I was just mentioned them.
I want to run through this real quick.
Niners,
six to one money,
tickets three to one.
So Vegas made good money
on that ball game on Monday night.
I helped that out a little bit.
And then the Chiefs,
seven to one on money this weekend for Vegas.
Two and a half,
you contributed there,
two and a half to one on tickets.
The one plays,
I think Green Bay hurt Vegas a little bit.
So, you know,
We all contribute a little bit.
You're welcome win.
Win bet.
I'm going to go play softball, and I'll be back in a little bit,
and we can talk about that and some more bullshit.
Hit a dinger.
I'm going to try.
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Hey, I'm back from softball, and we lost.
I'll tell you about it, but Kyle's here.
We're going to do some mailbag, some housekeeping.
Second housekeeping, like when they come back and you're like,
I already had to housekeeping.
Get the windows too.
Yeah.
Which is worse.
Game 0.5.
One, going bald over six feet.
Two, being a short king.
Kyle, the answer is easy.
What's worse?
Yeah.
Being a short king.
There's no.
We've already kind of outlined this.
Being a short king is great in high school.
I think being a short king is great.
now in general but being a tall king albeit bald is still I think that the dominant like you
don't have to put anything on your head right now dude it looks great I'm balding you know you have
such a bald spot but I'm tan and I'm confident and I take care of myself and there we go look at
me squarely square I mean your head just has got such a perfect point to it man thanks I mean it's
perfect if I would have a dent in the middle though I think it's from wearing headphones playing
too many.
The top of my head looks like an eraser.
You know, the old school erasers?
Yeah, like it's just, it wouldn't be good, dude.
Man, I feel like Jason Statham set the tone for handsome bald guys that are dangerous.
And I'm just carrying the torch now.
So you're Jason Statham?
Oh, big Jason Statham.
Big Jason Statham.
I don't know.
No disrespect to Short Kings.
They're the ones that are getting all the girls.
They've been getting the girls since the beginning of time.
Harry Stiles is Short King.
It's all about how you roll.
He's tall.
I don't even need to look it up.
No.
Nile Horan.
Say some actors.
I can tell you how tall they are
because I know.
And they're all just crushing.
Timothy Salomey.
Timothy Salome is a wiry
six foot.
Timothy Salome is
5 foot 11.
He's a wiry
six foot.
And he's from the future.
Timothy Salome is 510.
Damn.
See, not bad.
He's not.
And Harry Styles is six flat.
Wow.
But he's got major
S.K.E.
Man.
S.K.E.
He's too confident.
That guy was
steal our chicks so fast.
And I wouldn't even be mad. I'd just be like,
I'd be like, that's Harry Styles. Go with Harry Styles.
Zach Efron, he can't be taller than six,
two. No, I think he's tall.
Uh, Kyle Horan, God, he's ripped.
Five-eight.
He's a scratch golfer.
You think, uh, Zach Efron's,
he think Ephron was mad. He didn't get the Barbie movie.
I think Zach Efron's not really mad ever.
Right? Because that, that would have been the perfect cast.
It's just, uh, it's,
it's Burnett bias.
Zach Ephron's so handsome.
He played a serial killer and he was happy in the movie.
What movie is that?
Ted Bundy.
Oh, he was Ted Bundy.
He was a great Ted Bundy.
I never met Ted Bundy, but I like, you know, it was a good movie.
The problem with doing these serial killer movies is you're sexualizing the fucking sickos, dude.
That's the point they were making.
A bunch of women are watching Ted Bundy and they're like, that's kind of hot.
But there were women in court.
Might let him kill me.
Lusting over Ted Bundy during the trial.
Yeah and that was a problem like it was a real problem on Netflix too Kyle like the guy who was like I eat ass they were like
We Ted Bundy real killers I have a sign to yeah
I know you guys are saying Bundy but you're talking about Jeffrey Dahmer with the series I'm talking well I'm going wherever big dog is taking me
Jeffrey Dahmer series is kind of sketchy I heard and uh obviously the details were awful Jeffrey Dahmer terrible
no we don't need to do a serious we why are we watching Jeffrey Dahmer on Netflix
disapprove of serial killers.
Why are we watching Jeffrey Dahmer on Netflix?
I'd like to pause the podcast.
I'm like the weed gicked in for a second.
I was like, hold on a second.
I don't want anybody thinking that we are pro-serial killer.
If you're talking about E-May Udoka and not Jeffrey Dahmer.
How'd the softball game go, Chris?
Oh, softball game.
What softball game?
Oh, man, how did it go?
There's so many words I could use,
but I'll use the words 24-8.
24-8.
Do you guys need more fielders or more hitters?
Your big Kobe fan?
6-40, yeah, yeah, that's what we were doing.
It was our Mamba mentality.
We lost 24-8.
Sometimes it's time to go home
and stop taking shots.
Mamba.
Is it like your first rack of at-bats?
Do you realize that your team's not good enough?
Or is it your first inning in the fields?
These dudes from Green County, man.
They can play.
They knew the Knight Brothers.
Oh, Trevor and Kurtz.
Yeah, Kirk, Trevor.
Let's not forget Travis.
Okay.
Travis, people forget about Travis.
Could mash.
These dudes from Green County, they could mash, bro.
They could squash the bug.
And so, you know, I see these, you know, these country boys come out and they're just
laying the lumber, dude.
We had a guy at first was like, let me get a windshield, big dog talking to the guy at the
plate.
The guy that played kind of unassuming looking goes right center on the big field.
No problem.
First at bat.
I'm like, this is going to be a problem.
This is going to be a problem for the.
What are the outfits?
Are they in baseball outfits?
These guys are in fucking jeans and shit.
No,
they weren't in jeans.
I'm not trying to slander there.
But, you know,
they weren't worried about it.
They weren't worried about it, dude.
Anyways,
I hit a triple off the wall,
one for two,
but two at bats, man.
You know,
just when I'm getting warmed up.
Two babies.
Yeah,
just when I'm getting warmed up,
the fucking umpire calls the game
because there's a 15-runslaughter rule.
Oh, my.
I was like,
I didn't even,
our skip,
Fabio,
gotten a big back and forth.
He's got this highland
thing with this with this ump they got they got into it two weeks ago on a Sunday night the
game that I missed because of football supposedly they were drawn they had to be like damn near
separated over some bylaws so skip tonight Fabio was on the field talking shit while we're
trying to shake hands that's incredible yeah I'm surprised you didn't take fucking first base
is he a player's coach or is he just like a look at me arguer no he cares about the team he cares about the team
The team, he cared more than the team.
The team was like in the line like, hey man, y'all motherfuckers can hit.
Hey, go win that championship.
Yeah, go win that.
Go win that.
We'll see you down the line.
And they're like, we hope so.
Stay healthy.
So anyways, yeah, we got our asses kicked.
Shut out, Bad Back Backy for bringing us all the food on Sunday.
Big shout out to Bad Back Backy.
And I was just about to shout him out in the softball field.
My man has got a hammy.
He's had a hammy for quite a while.
And tonight, when I tell you down,
15 runs he legged out a heroic triple it was like kirk gibson without the winning my man he
slapped it into right and we had to get a fucking uh a pinch runner in for him like yesterday uh but i wanted
to shout him out he couldn't make into the studio tonight so let you go back good huss
charlie hustle you want to hit any housekeeping before we get into some yeah i do i do i do first off
kyle get your instagram password yeah so i'm finding it harder and harder to get paid after
after I got out of the fucking NFL.
What I'm saying here is we do these things
on the Greenlight podcast that are sponsored now,
and I have to post them on Instagram,
and I don't even fucking know my password.
Who does know their password?
The guys at Greenlight said,
just send us your password so we can post socials for you
and we'll take it off your plate.
All you have to do is hang out with Chris,
do podcasts, it'll be great.
Now I'm responsible for knowing my password.
I'm logged into my phone,
but God forbids, I have to log in elsewhere, no shot.
I think I'm going to put an email to Instagram so I can get paid
because Miller Light has provided us with so many great opportunities.
I'm going to talk to somebody.
What's their URL?
It's after our email address.
Instagram at gmail.com.
I mean, Kyle, man, we were just talking about this last week.
We used to get the paychecks and they just sit in our lockers, bro.
If you did ask me what my game check was rookie year, don't know.
Now, we were lucky to be able to say that, but I was playing for the love of the game.
Financial literacy, not good.
I hired a financial advisor and somebody to really, like, take care of taxes and stuff.
And they said, hey, man, we don't really have a good paper trail for you for your first three years in the NFL, essentially.
Were you in the NFL?
It says on the Internet you're a money.
Everybody in the NFL gets a check in their locker, and it says, this is not a check.
And you can ask me, everybody in the league gets a fucking check because they have direct deposit.
It goes right.
It goes right.
It goes right to their bank account, you know, $32,000, whatever it is.
I got the check.
And I have a, you know, every locker in the NFL has a lockbox behind you.
Like if I'm sitting in my locker, I can reach right back and.
A little bike lock on it.
Like a gym lock.
Open it up.
Throw your check in there on Wednesday.
Fuck the bank.
Yeah.
I am the bank.
The bank will sort it out.
I am the bank.
You guys are playing whatever you're playing.
I'm in.
I'm going to lose a little bit of money.
I'm in.
I'm the bank.
Yeah.
I've got it.
But then I come to find out direct deposit.
It's like the way to do it.
Yeah, it just needs to go.
You just want to get to a right.
How many checks did I lose?
You didn't lose any checks.
I'm going to check the video.
We're going to make sure we get you that direct deposit here at the Greenlight pod.
And we're going to get your Instagram password.
So I'm sure you're not alone.
Another bit of housekeeping.
Oh, this is what I was going to tell you.
I'll just tell you now.
So PFT was on Bustin with the boys,
and he was like, yeah, we did a podcast at the Waffle House.
First podcast of the Waffle House.
That's bullshit.
That's bullshit.
PFT.
You know that Ceylon had to spend.
You know that Chris had to do the fucking Waffle House punishment for his fantasy league.
Zoom in on his face.
It was the fantasy league, right?
Can you zoom in on his face?
My brother had to go and hang out at a Waffle House,
which is not a very terrible punishment.
but he did a podcast there
and he put in the time
and for you to go and say that that's just wrong.
It was a terrible problem.
And I'm going to come up there to Barstool headquarters
in Manhattan.
I'm going to that island, that concrete island
and I'm going to see you in the studio
or wherever the hell in that big old office building.
I'm going to bring some waffles to your front door.
We wear sunglasses on this show too, bitch.
Yeah.
That's fucked up.
We just cut a promo.
We just cut a promo.
You're my,
you're my henchman now.
You thought I hired you?
You thought I hired you?
You thought I hired you to podcast,
which you're good at.
By the way,
I want to say it again,
you're fucking good on Sunday,
bro.
Hey,
Sundays,
have you seen him on Sundays on Sundays?
On that other pregame show
with Adam Schein?
He's a star.
JJ and fucking Jonathan Jones,
Thomas Davis,
Thomas Davis.
Yeah,
Amy,
bro,
but you're a star.
I mean,
here I am.
Like,
I'm,
I'm going to pump up your head a little bit here.
I'm one guy in a constellation of stars.
But on in,
nice,
on this show,
you're a henchman first.
I love that.
So like if other podcasters step,
you know,
you got to keep the first thing first.
Or our IP.
Yeah.
Or Instagram password.
You break their necks.
I like that.
Yeah.
Did you see this weekend?
Some of our favorite guys like,
Mark Sanchez and Dan Orlovsky kind of got redemption with their plays being repeated.
Yes. Yes.
So this is,
this is,
I don't know if.
you know this, Kyle.
Do you know about the butt punt?
Did you see the butt punt?
I did see the butt punt.
Do you remember the butt fumble?
Your old roommate, Mark Sanchez.
Yeah, we all do.
Okay, but how about the other thing that happened Sunday,
which was the safety out of the back of the end zone,
the Dan Orlovsky.
Jimmy G. did it.
Which I wish he hadn't had done,
because that would have been a Randy Gregory pick six.
You Broncos fan you.
Yeah, we would have scored a touchdown, a good one too.
So it's not fan.
if you're really, it's just like loyalty over still wouldn't hit.
But like basically Dan Orlovsky was the most simultaneously thought of person in sports history
like online.
Right.
I don't know if you can make a case for somebody who during a game, their name and they had
nothing to do with the game was input into the fucking Twitter machine more than Dan Orlovsky.
Everybody went to their phone and was like Leonardo DiCaprio.jiff.
He just, same fit.
He's redeemed, bro, because somebody else finally did it.
He's redeemed and also he gets to welcome somebody into his fraternity.
Right.
Yeah.
It's like he's David Baker.
David Baker.
David Baker.
And Dan is fucking tall enough to put on a David Baker man-sized suit and walk up to somebody's door and be like, welcome to the Hall of Fame.
Welcome to the back of the end zone.
I would kill to send Dan Orlovsky to Jimmy's house to put a jacket on him.
Your coach not to step on end racism back there.
Like it was like the aerial show.
I was like the NFL trying to do something here in the end zone.
Don't.
Jimmy G's in the way.
Jimmy G's just stepping in the back of the end zone, bro.
Are there any other plays like that that are kind of like infamous that if you saw
them, you would think of somebody that did it originally in some type of negative way?
If a punter got absolutely K-O'd in a pro bowl particularly.
I was thinking Chris Weber, the timeout.
The timeout thing for sure.
How about a 16 seed beating a one seed in basketball every Virginia fan?
Yeah.
Like we won the national title, like not soon after, and we will still be waiting with bated breath for it to happen again to somebody.
I think when the holder botches the hold people think of Romo, right?
Yeah, I also think about, doinks.
Yeah.
I was thinking about Trey Junkin, too, back in the day.
I don't know why that's stuck in my head.
Trey Junkin had a bad snap.
Oh, Marcus Cooper on the Bears was running back a blocked field goal, and he pulled up early.
and celebrated the ball got stripped.
I always think of Don Beebe was that Don Beebe and Leon Lett.
Was it Don Bibi?
Yeah, for sure.
With the bills?
Yeah.
BB stripped him.
Just an amazing effort.
Yeah, Bibi was the man.
And then another one is getting called out.
If a kid gets called out on their first home run in Little League,
I'm going to be super excited.
I'm going to run up to that kid and point.
That was you.
laugh.
Because it's not me anymore.
Chris failed to touch home plate.
Allegedly.
We don't need to go down there.
There's no cameras.
Yeah, it's 1996.
Crush the ball.
Couldn't, didn't finish.
Dead bat.
Dead bat, debatable.
No, that's fact.
You can ask that.
You can ask that.
All right, you guys want to hit up some other questions?
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We had a Twitter user, Cameron Gaudet, ask, what's the bigger code break?
Three miles per hour over the speed limit in the left lane or way too early blinker guy?
If you're in the left lane, there's no number that I can put on it that you're correct.
But all you have to do is be attempting to pass the person in the slow lane and then get back as quickly and safely as you can to the slow lane so that the other people behind.
you have the opportunity to take the same move you did on them.
Just go 10 miles over the speed limit.
If you're in the left lane,
like if somebody's going 85 and a 60,
that's their fucking business
and they need to figure it out.
Probably a motorcycle guy or something.
No offense to that community.
Boy, they're very sensitive.
Very.
Very, dude.
Oh, my God.
Don't come beat you up.
Try to, try to, yeah, I'll just crash into you.
you're coming to beat me up i'm just gonna i'm just gonna bang the bank it's like indiana jones shooting the guy
with the knife the sword have you seen the way Mario car works any other driving code breaks you guys
know well i i want to tell you it's the left lane being slow in the left lane's worse than
the blinker i do the blinker thing all the time being slow i'll have my blinker on for a mile
not using your blinker
in general
it's something that a lot of people are guilty of
and it could save us a lot of time
if you just indicated which way you were going
that's really what it's called an indicator
I use my blinker in parking lots
you want to unpack this
no I just know that's good that's good
like Barracks Road there's stop signs
some people don't know which way I'm going dude I need to know
your intentions exactly most accidents happen in parking lots
That's five seconds from that.
I didn't know that.
That's interesting.
I don't know if that's true.
Most accidents happen
within a mile of your house.
Yeah.
In a parking lot.
Statistic I heard.
But no,
another one is the slingshot.
Say I'm waiting to pass
somebody, right?
And the person behind me
gets out of turn and passes
to my left because
they use me being boxed in
by the car I'm waiting for as an excuse.
That makes some.
you? Yeah. No, you can tell me. There's two cars lined up ready to pass one car. Yep.
The guy behind you says, oh, I'm impatient. And then he just goes. I hate that shit so much.
There, there are, there's a line. Yeah. Actual work talk while pooping in adjacent stalls or code
break, question mark. Yes. Depends on the job. In football, I feel like people would talk in the
stalls. I do, I would feel the opposite. See, I don't even want to be around people shitting, but I hear people
talking there. I don't know what they're talking about. I think somebody's laughing, but it's their
butt hole. There's often people on the phone talking to their wife in there. I'm like, how does this
even like? Yeah, dude. I don't want to be shitting around somebody that like, I don't know, especially
strangers, like it almost makes it worse. I would rather somebody I know hear me blow up the bathroom
than somebody I don't know walk in and like giggle or laugh at me. What's worse?
Sure. A little bit of pee in the toilet, not on the seat, but or when you sit down on the toilet,
It's still warm from somebody else's ass.
Oh, the warmth.
Oh, that's the worst.
The warmth is terrible.
I almost stand up so fast.
I'm like, nope, don't have to shit anymore.
A bunch of toilet paper on there.
Where's the shower? Yeah.
Yeah.
You're shitting in the shower?
I'm not showering.
That's disgusting.
What kind of public bathrooms are you in?
Do you use shower shoes in the league?
At times I heard that.
I wouldn't.
Yeah, I am not.
I'm not a shower shoes guy.
Dude, like, listen, I believe in kind of like,
I side with Ben Jones.
I walk around outside pretty barefoot most of the time.
Same.
So I'm not really worried about a shower that's cleaned every day.
It's a little disgusting, I'm sure, to some.
Yeah, and all the NFL showers are different.
Like, there's a middle drain sometimes,
and then there's like the wall rail drain,
which is the cleanest one.
But how about like a guy who's not circumcised walking up
and being like,
you don't wear shower shoes.
I'm like,
oh,
whoa.
You really want to talk about this?
Because you have a fucking
coat on down there.
Okay,
you're in your winter.
Based on my shower shoes.
You need to put the ant eater away, sir.
Kettle, meat, pot.
What is it?
Yeah, sweep under the rug a little bit sometimes.
Okay.
Fucking canoli down there.
Talking about bacteria.
I'm on.
circumstance. My foot is so far from my, from everything. What? You are? No. Thank God.
What is that? It'd be weird if they did to one of you. And what is that? They're like the middle,
the middle child shall remain. It's not big enough. We're just going to leave as much of it as we can.
That would honestly support like, you know, maybe people who who aren't circumcised become like he man,
you know, because like the testosterone stuck in there. Like it's just so much, you know.
it can't escape
you're so like
the newest trend
your test escapes through
P
the newest trend in bodybuilding
uncircumcumcision
people are getting circumcision
surgeries
people are you getting
where are you getting it
from my neck
from my neck
hey bro you look great
what happened
oh I got uncircumcised
happy Jewish
New Year
happy
You're like,
man, you look great.
What do you,
is it been,
uh,
has it been,
what,
what,
oh shit.
Is that a,
that's a thing.
Roshana was this week.
It's a thing that Jewish people are circumcise.
Yeah.
Okay,
good, good,
good.
Yeah.
Okay.
So I don't want to mess up the new year.
Um,
but yeah,
dude,
the newest trend is like dudes are getting skin grafts,
the dick skin down there to,
you know?
Yeah.
After they finish their surgery to make them taller.
Yeah,
dude,
that's the type of thing that's going on right now.
I wouldn't surprise me.
That's amazing.
people are getting heights or
Kyle, I believe you for a second.
I was like, man, you know what?
Come to think about, I haven't really ever checked your.
Really? You didn't see the video.
Oh, that video. I didn't look that close.
You didn't have Zoom capability.
Enhance.
Enhance.
That's read back there.
I need a fucking.
I'm just going to make a joke.
I'd make it to anybody.
I needed like a fucking.
Yeah.
Hit me with your best shot.
Buy away.
You know how many like.
No, I know.
I mean, I would have told...
Somebody posted a video of the...
This day in Bears history...
Hold on.
This day in Bears history, the Bears
won a barn burner in Washington
against the football team.
And I said, a day...
I tweeted the day a day that'll live in infamy.
People were like, well, that explains
that we thought it was steroids,
but he's uncircumcised.
The air conditioner works in Washington.
Oh, man.
Stacey Dash hasn't heard about that day.
Definitely not.
She's lost it.
Is she coming on the pod?
We invited her.
I'll talk to her.
Stace.
Take a ride of my Jeep.
Flueless.
Stacey, let's go see the Natural History Museum.
Did you see that?
What happened to the Mastodons?
They're dead?
DmX, man.
Rest of peace.
She's wondering if spaghetti got spilled on John F. Kennedy.
Like, what's going on?
Okay.
If the Chargers call Kyle to come play tackle, will he do it?
Let me say this.
Brandon Stanley, I'm Brandon Staley.
Okay, Kyle.
Hello, this is Brandon Staley.
Why did you leave Justin Herbert in the game?
Okay, okay.
Yeah.
Well, Kyle, we played a win.
Did you see?
She did the game last year, Kyle?
Okay.
We're not going to tie.
We're not going to tie.
We're not going to tie.
Kyle, I will never, we will never
not win.
Ask me to play for you.
Hey Kyle Brandon Staley.
Coach.
You haven't gotten circumcised, have you?
Why?
You need more uncircised men in that locker room.
Well, I just want to make sure
you didn't lose your strength.
You know, there's an old parable.
It's fleeting.
He cut his beard and he wasn't strong again.
So don't ever take that turl neck off, son
You're gonna need it
Okay, Kyle
Let's cut to brass tacks
Whole team's hurt
Roshan Slater's hurt
Got another guy named Storm Norton
At right tackle waiting in the wings
We gotta guard this pretty good
But we just need players, man
We need players
Yeah
I don't know if you watch the game someday
It was tough
You guys need help
Roshan Slater's down
Okay
What are you going to do, man?
Can't you still in the beach all day, bro?
You got to take care of that quarterback.
You leave him in there down 38 to 10?
All right, Kyle, I know how to wait.
There's going to be a coup d'etat.
Bye, bye, Kyle.
Kyle, I'm calling Taylor Luan.
Who's also injured.
You're right.
Never mind.
Hi, Kyle.
It's Brandon Staley.
Yeah, I'm still here.
You want to get in and out?
I'm going to call T.J. Lang now.
Okay.
I FaceTime T.
He didn't call me back.
I got beef, DJ also
I'm cutting another promo
I don't think he listens to this podcast
Oh Kyle
Which is worse for locker room vibes after a game
Game losing field goal or blowout loss
On the road
I think a game losing field goal is really tough
Because a blowout loss on the road
Makes you kind of look inwardly
And then when you're on that plane
On the way home you get to talk to a lot of the guys
You're all looking at the film
And instead of looking at it later
You're there with your buddy
It was always Charles Leno
Who would say Kyle like you see 52
that's your guy.
You know what I'm saying?
Like,
he would quietly let me know when I was wrong
and he would celebrate loudly
the things that I did well.
I think that's a microcosm of how planes
and the NFL works
and especially after losses
is guys want to get it fixed.
You know what I'm saying?
But when you do it right
and then one guy happens to do it wrong
and it shows louder than your wrong,
which is the missed kick.
Yeah.
That hurts, man.
I think a lot of times after losses like that,
it's just a big contest to see who's the most
mad on the way home, which sucks.
When you lose a really close game,
everybody is legitimately dejected.
And so no one needs to pretend.
And everybody grieves different.
Shout out, K dot.
But when you lose a close game like that, Kyle,
it's easy to just be consumed in your grief
over losing that game.
When you lose a blowout, everybody's distracted
by how do I show the coach who's going to be in panic mode
and shit runs down hell.
everybody's getting fired. People are
fucking tearing their
ace, you know, their dealt, pointing fingers,
man, in every direction. So I
just, for me, it was like
a close loss that brought you together
and a blowout. That drives you apart.
Got it. I guess I got blown out a lot. We went to New England
one time and I thought it was like being on a Pop Warner team
playing against, you know, Alabama.
We got beat by New York Jets, Brett Farr of like 47 to 3.
