Green Light with Chris Long - Macon's Back! Super Bowl Prep. Phone Roulette. SB LV Trivia Showdown. Stafford vs Jameis. Groundhog Day Stuff. Mailbag.

Episode Date: February 5, 2021

(01:35) - Macon's Return, Green Light Swag and Stafford vs Jameis. (40:42) - Former Rams Equipment Manager Jimmy Lake on SB Prep, Rain as Equipment Staff and Greatest Show on Turf. (1:07:07) - Super B...owl LV Trivia and Cellphone Roulette. (1:37:52) - Mailbag: Best Types of Airs and More. Sign up for your DraftKings account at https://www.draftkings.com/sportsbook and use promo code : Greenlight Green Light with Chris Long: Subscribe and enjoy weekly content including podcasts, documentaries, live chats, celebrity interviews and more including hot news items, trending discussions from the NFL, MLB, NHL, NBA, NCAA are just a small part of what we will be sharing with you. http://bit.ly/chalknetwork Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Transcript
Discussion (0)
Starting point is 00:00:00 Okay, guys, I'm over the Super Bowl. So if you came here to listen to analysis for the 56th time on Buccaneers, Chiefs, you're not going to find it here. We got about 40 seconds of Super Bowl talk centering around anything not having to do with the rain. We're making the rain the lead. Tell you about the chances of rain Sunday. What that might mean for the players, I'm going to have my former equipment manager from St. Louis, the legendary Jimmy Lake on to tell stories about the greatest show on turf,
Starting point is 00:00:25 wet fields, wet balls, you know, guys forgetting stuff for the Super Bowl. Stick around for that. That'll be fun. Yes, Jimmy Lake, not the other Jimmy Lake, the football coach, the Jimmy Lake, the legendary Jimmy Lake. We've got Groundhog merch. We're going to do a mailbag. We're going to introduce you to a drinking game. That's right. My partner in crimes back, Macon, I'll tell you why he's been gone. He'll tell you why he's been gone. We got a big announcement. We do hit some Matt Stafford stuff in there too. So buckle up, long pod, not a lot of Super Bowl talk. Hi, day, everybody.
Starting point is 00:01:40 Tag team back again. The don't call it a comeback. I've had two weeks. It might feel like longer. I've had two weeks to come up with something to say to you at the beginning of the show. You can do a Jay Billis thing and do, you know, be the white guy rapping at the open of every show. We could acknowledge that we kind of bit the bit from him, but. Yeah, point being, I came up with very little.
Starting point is 00:02:07 Oh, shit. Nice to be back. Hey, it is good. Did you say it was? It's good to have you back. That was the next thing. A lot of people have been asking where you are. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:02:17 And I'm flattered by that. You missed two shows. People acting as if it's seven to 12 shows. It's only the two shows. Well, it's not the two shows. You missed a Groundhog Day show, which was kind of the thing that we've been pumping for months now. I will say,
Starting point is 00:02:34 pumped well, my friend, because it hit differently this year. It did hit a little bit. differently. It was hitting thick. This was one of the thickest groundhog days of all the time. Paxatani Phil, by the way, saw his shadow. Rolled off your tongue. Yeah. Poxetani. Little punksy, punky, Phil. You say punk? Punks, yeah, puns. Okay, I better make sure. I'm going to sound like a groundhog day cop.
Starting point is 00:02:56 Punksitone, Phil. Punksitone Phil and the dudes in the top hats decided that winter is going to be around another six weeks. And winter, winter is good. Though spring, is better. Winter is fine. So we're fine. We're good. Okay, we're good. We got a lot of equipment here. Yeah, well, including merch. You want to start equipment? Let's start with the merch. Okay. Do you want to tell us what we got here? Yeah, we're wearing T-shirts. So, yeah. Maybe you should have been playing wallball in your time away. Maybe he should have been shooting free throws, you know, whatever the podcast thing equivalent of that is. We are wearing T-shirts that read, big groundhog. A variable.
Starting point is 00:03:38 Did I just mess up available? You said a variable, dude. Holy shit. Hey, hey, hey. It's like riding a bike. Hey, rust versus rest, you know? Maybe a little rust right now. Not so much rest.
Starting point is 00:03:50 More on that later. You're like the team in the Super Bowl that hello, topical comes out, didn't handle the two weeks well. At the beginning. But maybe we get our legs under us and we're... Your last year's chiefs.
Starting point is 00:04:02 Yeah. Maybe I'm the Niners. Maybe we're both the chiefs. on the same team. Right. I think people are just happy to have you back. Thanks, man. I'm happy to have you back.
Starting point is 00:04:14 Thank you. I mean, you know, even though there's a partition here now, let's stay with the t-shirts. Okay. They say Big Groundhog, and they are available to be purchased at? I don't know where. Perfect. Awesome. But it's on my, it's on my Twitter.
Starting point is 00:04:30 Okay. You know what? I want to get something, to purchase something as game-changing, to have in your war as this black t-shirt with white writing that says big groundhog you could also customize it it could be orange right read oh yeah i saw that it can be blue it can be green it can be any kind of color you want heathered heathered is really in like 10 years ago i love heather no i love it right now okay so mine says big groundhog yours says big hog well because i duct taped over groundhog versatile shirt what that's what i mean to to illustrate is that this shirt I mean like there's a bunch of merch that comes out and it's like
Starting point is 00:05:11 oh this fucking jacket's reversible it's so cool you don't even have to take this shirt off this you can go so many different directions with this shirt all you need is a roll of black duct tape right here we have duct tape duct tape I didn't know that it's actually a brand it's a brand huh I didn't know that either yeah they just oh well the talk about a fucking monopoly yeah well well Yeah, this is D-U-C-K as opposed to, but very clever by whoever pounced on that idea. Yeah, well done. So you got big hog.
Starting point is 00:05:43 I have a big hog on my shirt. You could go any number of directions. You could go big round ho. You could. You need two pieces of tape for that. You could go big round hog. Yep. If you were in at the basement level on Instagram,
Starting point is 00:06:02 you could be an IG-O-G. I-G. Or you could celebrate. what's about to be the biggest holiday in the world, maybe just in the States. Groundhog Day, hey next year by the way, 2-22, just to get out in front of that. What's that?
Starting point is 00:06:22 That would be the date of Groundhog Day. Next year, oh my God, that's like a historic Groundhog Day. Yeah. What's gonna happen? It'll be like a Y2K situation. We'll probably have our merch. Dictated by marsupials. We'll probably have our merch game like stepped up
Starting point is 00:06:37 then and yet people are going to go back to this tea. For sure. Oh, gee. Yeah, because this is one of those hipster moves, dude. Like, listen, here's a hot tip. I know a lot of you guys came to the party recently and you're like, I kind of feel like I'm late to said party and there's all these cool people that know the inside jokes and the lingo and they've known these guys for years.
Starting point is 00:06:57 It feels like, but they've only been around a year. You can usurp them as green light hipsters by just buying a fucking t-ypes. by just buying a fucking t-shirt. It's like cutting the front of the line, which is like a vaccine move, evidently, in the U.S. Huh. To get, you know, it's a hard right turned into something that was bothering me this week.
Starting point is 00:07:19 I hear there's people cutting the line. About COVID, though, we take it seriously. There was a line of folks wanting to get their ears lowered, Kansas City Chiefs. That means get a haircut. Sorry. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah, I've never used that term or heard it before.
Starting point is 00:07:39 Yeah, get your ears lowered. I get my ear. God damn. Hold on a second. I want to pull up this tweet that Adam Schaefter tweeted. Do you want to read it? I think you're really, you got some people, people were missing your voice.
Starting point is 00:07:55 I'll read the hell out of it. Great podcast voice I heard like three, four times. Try to these. That's funny because year back, it was, I can't listen to this show because of that guy. Who said that? Oh, everybody. I read the reviews. They said that about you?
Starting point is 00:08:08 Yeah, unlistenable. When? Yeah, go back a year. Yeah, but also, like, I was unlistenable a year ago. I'm still moderately unlistenable. Well, yeah, I'm with those folks. That's why I don't listen to me. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Starting point is 00:08:19 Yeah. Adam Schafter, Twitter.com. There were over 20 chiefs, players, and staffers, including quarterback Patrick Mahomes, scheduled Sunday to get a haircut with the barber who tested positive for COVID per source. the chiefs acted wisely and aggressively and pulled the barber mid-cut once his test results came in. Oh my gosh, it's like they're running a hospital there. How careful are they? You know?
Starting point is 00:08:51 That's been all over the internet by now is Kilgore, right? Who like had half. He had the half haircut. He had the half haircut. But word is, he was like, all right, let's just finish the thing I've been exposed. Yeah, for sure. I mean, it is what it is at that point. But I mean, the chiefs did the right thing, huh? Right at him? They could have just let him continue the haircuts. They acted swiftly.
Starting point is 00:09:14 Aggressively as well. Yeah, they did. Yeah. So aggressive that they had a guy from outside the building cutting like half the roster's hair the week of the Super Bowl. I'll tell you how this works. Buying into COVID protocol, you have to, one, be a conscientious person,
Starting point is 00:09:31 somebody who thinks of others. and even if you are, you can mess up. Like this barber tested evidently negative three times and then positive. So I'm not demonizing this guy. It could happen to anybody. He's trying to make a buck. But the way it works in a building is, like, the further you are away from the football and from the, you know, what happens on the field,
Starting point is 00:09:55 I just wouldn't count on the barber who doesn't have anything at stake to stay clean. Now, I'm not saying, you know, he's been irresponsible, but there's a different level of buy-in for the guys in that locker room. I just wouldn't have somebody cutting hair. Like, I don't need my haircut that bad. I know guys need haircuts. I get it. But it just seems like a big leap of faith and trust within two weeks of Super Bowl.
Starting point is 00:10:17 I mean, this game generates $17 billion every year. Well, that's why I got to look. You got to have it tight. I understand. But at the same time, like, that's why maybe we don't have the barber fucking up to $17 billion. show. And I get to keep a tight thing. Imagine if, and it could still happen, somebody could pop, right?
Starting point is 00:10:44 Yes. Very easily could still pop. And the problem is at this point, you're probably not playing. Right, exactly. And would he be, what would it take for him to be Steve? He could never be Steve Bartman, you know. Hmm, interesting. But potentially could be.
Starting point is 00:11:03 be way worse than Steve Bart Bartman in actuality. I would hope that the Chiefs would go to great lengths and it's probably impossible, but to keep his ID under wraps, but you're right. You're exactly right. Right, exactly. I thought about that. Yeah, like think about if this turns into one of those bombs
Starting point is 00:11:21 and this could happen like anywhere. So again, it's not the barber's fault. To me, it's the Chief's fault. Like it's, to me, like if you get COVID from a haircut within two weeks of, I know some people are gonna be like, you sound old, guys have to live their lives, Like, no, they don't have to get.
Starting point is 00:11:34 You're doing the thing right now where you say, in the beginning there were people that were like, I don't wanna wear a mask because this is disrupting, doing business or putting food on the table or I don't wanna follow protocols because my kids aren't gonna eat and then those same people were like, I have a right to assemble at a NASCAR race. Like one of those things is something that you have,
Starting point is 00:11:57 it's a necessity, the other is a luxury. A haircut is a luxury, dude. And you're playing the best, biggest game of your life. And I know guys like, maybe I would have been sitting there in that chair, but it's just, if you lose guys over this, it's such a dumb thing. And to be fair. Yeah. Three negative tests. Yep. We're good so far. Out of control, viral pandemic. We're good so far. Also, like, uh, at this point, say there was an outbreak. What would you, the commissioner do? Games got to go on. You think so? Yeah.
Starting point is 00:12:34 That's tough. that would be tough imagine a rainy game which we'll get to in a second to cap a season where the NFL took a major haircut no pun intended no fans in the stands
Starting point is 00:12:48 and you're seeing half the Kansas City Chiefs and Tom Brady gets a ring can you imagine the arguments that would rage for decades yeah but that last one was against Chad Henney
Starting point is 00:13:04 I believe in Belichick Oh you're doing the thing You're playing it out I like that You know that wasn't It sounds like a piece of paper hitting the microphone That's my face shield
Starting point is 00:13:15 Yeah Out of an abundance of caution And in the spirit Of the great Andy Reed We got face shields We're wearing the face shields So far so good I'm used to it like five minutes in
Starting point is 00:13:29 I might go home with this face shield Just tell the family I'm being a little careful Let me read you something about this face shield. This face shield does not mean any governmental regulatory standard for protection from COVID-19 or any other disease, and it should not be relied upon for that purpose. Hard to argue with the back of the face shield. Bit of a mixed message there, making the face shield. It's kind of telling on itself a little bit.
Starting point is 00:13:54 In a viral pandemic. But hey, I guess you and I aren't trying to meet a governmental regulatory standard. we have our own standards we do have our own standards we want to be our best for the big game that's right can't be inactive for this one so people were asking why you've been gone and uh why you've been gone yep Kelly Clarkson that's who sung sings that song yeah so man she's sung a she sang a national anthem for the ages uh in 2012 you know why I know that why pop quiz did a whole show on Monday about prop bets and the National Anthem, we talked about it for like 30 minutes.
Starting point is 00:14:41 Over, under on pods that make and listen to while he was gone. I'm going to set it at 0.5. Okay, I know the answer. Do you want to wager with anybody? Cowboy Reid, I'll take the over. I'll definitely take that under. Underhits. Damn, dude.
Starting point is 00:14:56 I'm still subscribed. Well, let's go through the reasoning why you've been gone. It might soften the blow for people that actually like this product and found out that their favorite. favorite their favorite their favorite podcast sidekick
Starting point is 00:15:09 is uh is not a fan of his own show it's not that I'm not a fan I don't listen to the podcast either dude I don't listen to anybody's podcast like I don't listen to my take I listen to Ryan sometimes I know you probably don't listen to Ryan's much
Starting point is 00:15:24 ryan Priscilla oh no I'm not familiar all right so I tweeted just a bit ago Macon's back why do you think he was gone we want to know Okay, Brian says, I assumed he sold a house to the mob and was taken hostage until they could trust that he wouldn't talk about anything he saw.
Starting point is 00:15:45 The mob is going to, if you sell a house to the mob, they kill you afterwards. No. I just, I never thought, I never thought that through. It's not incriminating to buy a house. Right. This guy is imagining the mob after you signed the paperwork. They just pink missed you. It's on the sell side.
Starting point is 00:16:07 It's like, hey, I'm going to need a break on this one. Right. And then when I'm like, nah, man, it's six percent for a reason. He's like, nah, man. He's like, nah, he's like, you live at Redacted, right? Yeah. Message sent. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:16:20 You gotta sell that. You got to sling it. Vizzle says, he said himself, he has no interest at all. So who fucking knows, I guess. That's true. He gets you. Three point stands pod. Shout out to those guys.
Starting point is 00:16:34 That's a pod I do like. and I like going on there, they're good dudes. So Mike DeVito's pod, executive board meetings for big groundhog ahead of Groundhog Day celebrations or watching Blues Brothers. That guy knows you pretty well, but it wasn't the case.
Starting point is 00:16:55 Moneyman says I was making home buying easy, fact. See, that thing's got legs. If he only lived in this market. Somebody said, I'm going to guess COVID. And that's a fair guess. That would have, I mean, like, if we were doing prop bets on why you were gone, COVID minus 850. I'm still getting my gambling legs under me. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:17:23 Basically, that's the most likely scenario. And so, too. Yeah, like a two to one sort of deal. I don't know if it would be minus eight fifth. There's a lot of reasons somebody could be gone, but that's the favorite. It's kind of like the orange gatorade of that prop bet. Right. How about contract dispute? With MLS purveyor?
Starting point is 00:17:41 No, sir, with podcast hosts. Oh, nah. I was thinking maybe they weren't paying you enough at Redacted. Oh, yeah, nah, but I left this job, so. Yeah, it's a hell of a way to dispute the contract. It's like, oh, hold out. Oh, hold out. Yeah, yeah. Week before, two weeks for a Super Bowl? It's pretty savvy.
Starting point is 00:18:01 You guys make millions these days. You guys have a dream. And you got a dream job. I'm trying to do the Brett Favre thing. You're Deshawn Watson on Brett Fav. Good. I like that. Yeah, I'd like to be on that side of it.
Starting point is 00:18:20 Yo, Brett Fav needs to fix a Zoom background, huh? Have you seen him on interviews lately? Yeah, looking as haggard as I am. See, what the fuck is going on? Catching up on movies he criminally hasn't seen. Definitely not. Charra got him. Char got them.
Starting point is 00:18:40 Ah, there are a couple in here that are, well, there are a couple big winners in here. Let's see if there's anything. Diarrhea. Yeah, diarrhea. Diarrhea took you out for two weeks. Calf implants. What is the recovery time on calf implants? Dudes are really getting silicon, silicone?
Starting point is 00:19:07 No, I know. You know, it's one of those things for me. the valley the valley that's everybody has calf implants up there right but but what's it called silicon valley oh you really went kun there yeah yeah it's from uh some sort of tv show or movie they say also just an area i would i would go silicon valley no i say silicon valley because that's they said i think in south park or something overlogging south park yes overlogging is the best it's one of the best oh my god heading out california way overlogging is a South Park episode you should watch tonight as a sidebar.
Starting point is 00:19:44 Okay. You'll get the reference then. Yeah, any other guesses that were close? Someone put on our Apple podcast review that Makin slipped in his hot tub and couldn't get out because of the grime. Yo, all right. So there's a little bit of algae around the side of the hot tub. Which is a hazard.
Starting point is 00:20:10 The inside of the hot tub is pristine, thanks in large part. to my lovely wife Kate, who's kept it that way with pH levels and whatnot being within the recommended range. Bitch? You, not her? Like truly, the hot tub
Starting point is 00:20:30 is leaking a little oil, but the inside is a hunted? That thing is, you know what, I'll come over soon and have a hot tub. Okay, that sounds good. Come over for a tough tub. Bring your shield.
Starting point is 00:20:48 Barry the hatchet. Yeah, that'd be good. Somebody says paternity leave. Goodness gracious, if I had a kid, I'd hope I'd get more than two weeks paternity leave from this here podcast. You would hope. This organization.
Starting point is 00:21:05 You would hope. At which you are the head. I got to talk to corporate about that. Did you have a kid? I was gone. Because I had a kid. Now that's a bit of a misnomer of sorts. My wife,
Starting point is 00:21:27 my wife had the kid. She's lovely. She's lovely. How lovely is the kid? Had a kid. Kid is exceptionally lovely. Oh. Thank you.
Starting point is 00:21:36 Um, uh, great kid. Who do you love the most in the world? Yeah, yeah, good question. Um, hmm. Jesus. So now we're just a couple of dads doing a podcast. Yeah. How about that?
Starting point is 00:21:54 Wild. I don't know if I caught a congratulations or... On the pod? Yeah. Well, you know, I've kind of said it in real life. Yeah. Do you need like a podcast? I was trying to give you the floor.
Starting point is 00:22:09 Yeah, I don't know. I don't know how else to put this. 60 seconds on a kid, go. And then we're... Then we're on to football. We're on to football, right? We had a kid. we are over the moon.
Starting point is 00:22:25 She is wonderful. Her mother was born to be a mom. She has risen to the occasion. She is glowing. I have the easy gig at present, probably from here on out. I have the easier of the two gigs. But our beautiful baby has a wonderful doting mother. I'd like to thank a wonderful doting father as well.
Starting point is 00:22:53 But yeah, now our two, Chris, is now three, four, if you count Zoe Rabbit, of course, and we couldn't be happier. Thank you for that generous leave of two weeks. We, with the kids, basically an adult by now. So thank you for making that happen for us. I did see her peddling her tricycle down the street earlier today. Yeah, I think we zoomed you from the hospital and you're like, oh, that's, that's tight. So what about pie?
Starting point is 00:23:19 Okay, real life though, I had, real life though, I had a coach before. that asked a player if his wife could move the delivery date. No. Oh, yeah. Because we were playing in a football game. And it wasn't a big one. Wow. He didn't quite like demand.
Starting point is 00:23:38 It was just like just throwing that out there. You know, when you try to like intimate that you want something illegal done, like a bribe. That was kind of the tone. Yeah. I learned pretty early not to do that when I, I said, hey, you know what would be a great day? I don't know, February the 2nd, Groundhog Day. And I was quickly told that the baby would come when the baby comes.
Starting point is 00:24:03 So you tried to move delivery of said baby. Yeah. I take it back. I like even numbers, for instance. I won't give away the birthday now with what's it called when you steal one's identity? Well, listen. That's identity theft. I'm going to remember your kid's birthday starting tomorrow until the end of time.
Starting point is 00:24:30 What's mine? Here we go. Knock it out. Bang bang. You got it. You also miss this, dude. Sorry, I threw the gauntlet down here. I might have seen a tweet.
Starting point is 00:24:39 You did a whole birthday thing. I wished you happy birthday when. Oh, right. Yeah, that's what that's happy early birthday. Yep, dude. It's already been done. Okay. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:24:49 In July, you know. You got one out of 31 chances here. Yeah, no, 18th. Yeah, close. It's the ninth. Yeah, nine times two. You're... Right.
Starting point is 00:25:02 Yeah, it's 18. So you see where I slipped up there. Me and the juice. Yeah, you and the juice. Yeah, 7-9. But what I mean to say is, I'm sorry, your birthday got less important because Redacted's birthday. Oh, for sure.
Starting point is 00:25:15 Redacted is now... She's in the birthday window. Yeah, here she, I recognize. You already said she. Okay, cool. Yeah, she, the light of our lives, she, it's now her world. We're on to football. Yeah, we are.
Starting point is 00:25:33 Did you know that it's going to rain this weekend? The ball's going to be wet, and I have to watch the game, and I love offense. Oh, my God. Shut the fuck up, please. It's a football game. This isn't a Neanderthal position to take that all Super Bowls should be exposed to the elements. It's not, dude.
Starting point is 00:26:03 Where are you on this? Oh, I'm with you. I saw people like, there were people who I mentioned, and I mean this respectfully and lovingly. Shut the fuck up. Because there's only been one Super Bowl in Super Bowl history that's ever been rainy.
Starting point is 00:26:19 And I know that many of them were played in a dome but even when you do the math with, you know, all the Super Bowls we had in Miami and California and wherever the hell else, maybe that's where it should just be. I mean, there's only been one rainy Super Bowl, 2007. Indy, Chicago. Remember that?
Starting point is 00:26:42 Was that in Florida? It was in Miami, Florida. Yeah. So, I mean, like, that's the downside. I mean, some of these places have tropical climates. Now, I don't know if Tampa, does Tampa? It's up there a bit. Is Tampa tropical?
Starting point is 00:26:55 I don't know what tropical means. It's on the Gulf and it's up there. That's all I know. What does tropical mean? The tropic line. It's like within a... Tropic of Cancer. Yep, it's within that Tropic of Cancer belt.
Starting point is 00:27:06 I'm looking now to heat map regarding the equator, tropics of cancer and Capricorn, respectively. And it's really hard to say. It's hard to say, isn't it? Yeah. But what we're talking about is like a high of 73 in Tampa on Sunday. Yeah, and it's going to be rainy. It's like Ian Rappaport tweeted that it was going to be 75 and rainy or something with 75% chance of rain.
Starting point is 00:27:30 This was a day ago, Macon's on the Acue Weather. I love it. I was a proponent of the New York Super Bowl. Listen, I think... Let the boys play. New York was, they just missed a blizzard by a couple hours, like foot and a half, New York Super Bowl. There was another Super Bowl where it was like super cold outside, but it was, you know, New Orleans was 39. This was before the Superdome, so I think they played outside in New Orleans.
Starting point is 00:28:01 It was 39 at some point back. I was reading about it yesterday, and as you see, I'm retaining so much information. I got one for you. Okay. Let me put you in Tampa, Florida. Yeah. You go due west across the Gulf of Mexico. What do you hit?
Starting point is 00:28:16 Ooh, that's an interesting one. probably Louisiana or some shit. No, no, no, no, no, no, no. It's not a bad guess. It's not. Hold on a second now. Galveston? Oh, you're almost exactly right.
Starting point is 00:28:31 I'll even give you some credit. Corpus Christi, actually. Yeah, great song by Robert Earl Keane. You'd really like this song. I know this song. Okay, good. Yeah. Okay, good, good, good.
Starting point is 00:28:42 Yeah, but DeWess is Corpus Christi. Galveston looks to be, yeah, a couple hundred. So listen, you're going to have to deal with rain. Like as a viewer, I hate watching, before we talk a little bit more football. I hate watching indoor football. It's like hard on the eyes. The lighting's messed up. I just think the grass, that's the way.
Starting point is 00:29:03 One thing Jimmy told me one time was that back when they played the, maybe the second Super Bowl, they had painted the turf, the astroturf green. too close to the game and after the game everybody's jerseys were like that paint green that's like the unnatural shit we shouldn't have to ever see that's like the chef's commercial
Starting point is 00:29:27 yeah the chef's commercial where they fucked it up hey man that was great no more indoor Super Bowls period how about that how's that for a take have you seen Raymond James painted this week no oh it looks tight let me check it out did they get rid of that pirate ship they're not going to fire the cannon thank the lord
Starting point is 00:29:43 I don't think they're moving that sucker up but the Chiefs is a nice, nice deep yellow in zone, red lettering. Oh, okay, gotcha, gotcha, gotcha, gotcha. Very red. Everything. They went logo and name. I think it looks sharp. If we could only get rid of that stupid ass Super Bowl logo, we'd be in business.
Starting point is 00:30:01 Oh, it sure does look good, man. It sure does. I mean, you know, the pirate ship's a little bit much again. But no complaints on this end. I think it's going to be gorgeous. Your ass played in two indoor. It sucked, dude. It sucked. Waited my whole life to get to the Super Bowl had to play in two in a row inside. You know? Right. Are you on this page? Either don't rain or rain torrentially. No. You don't like torrential. I want torrential. Oh, no, no, no. I'm down with torrential. But I'm also down with stop and start. Medium. Like, oh, wow. We've now had this two out of our three drives. Other team hasn't seen this. The winds are shifting. Baltimore, New England. Baltimore, New England.
Starting point is 00:30:45 It was like as soon as the Ravens got the ball, Bill turned on, Buffalo Wild Wings turned on the shower head. Yep. Yet I was referencing this this week. Jeff Schwartz was the one who said he was like, all or nothing. I needed to be, have you ever seen, you haven't seen the movie The Fan, but for anybody out there's seen the movie The Fan, there's a part at the end of the movie where I can't remember the main character's name, but the dude's up at bat and it's torrential. Like I need it like that I need last Boy Scout Have you ever seen last Boy Scout?
Starting point is 00:31:19 No Last scene of the game It's like you can't even see the people And there's barely any stadium lights Why is it that movies Motion Pictures Cannot get rain scenes right in sports It looks so unnatural
Starting point is 00:31:32 Have you ever seen Sister Act? No What Have you seen Sister Act too? No No Whoopi Goldberg bro Whoopi Goldberg huh
Starting point is 00:31:43 Yeah Same ghost. It's come out this week. Not really. It came out years ago or maybe this year. How long has James been in this league? I think he's going on six, yeah. Well, the numbers, the first six years between these two, Stafford and James, are allegedly nearly identical.
Starting point is 00:32:04 Yeah, I did see that. I did see that. And our guy, Matt Stafford had a guy like Calvin Johnson, James hasn't really had that setup. Though he's had some nice weapons. Yeah. And he's also had more recently some nice defenses, which Matt never had, because wins and losses were, you wanna go down the list of,
Starting point is 00:32:24 because it's eye opening, it was. Like I gotta admit, like I'm a way bigger fan of Matt Stafford than I'm a James as a quarterback. Seven fewer games for James, same amount of losses for the two. Matt Stafford 35 and 42 through his first six, James 28 and 42. Very surface level analysis here. but I do feel like at this point more importantly
Starting point is 00:32:48 I know what the point is it's like well James didn't get a second chance but Matt did and we're going back and we're looking at it and that's very true but I'd say James not getting a second chance worked out pretty well right? Yeah no doubt I saw some people that were like yeah well James
Starting point is 00:33:05 didn't get a second chance and Matt did I totally see your point it is I mean there is a narrative thing here you know it's definitely we've gone over this thing a bunch and I just the two questions I would have would be one that I just asked you like would you suggest
Starting point is 00:33:23 the bucks didn't pull the plug retrospectively and then second question would be do you think that and I the Calvin Johnson point is the first one that popped in my head comparing their weapons and their arsenals one negative for Matt was they never had a running back but
Starting point is 00:33:41 would Tom Brady at 43 if you were able to Bill and Ted move him, you know, you ever see Bill and Ted? No, but they had an excellent adventure. Phone booth, lightning strike, go back to circa 2014 or whatever Matt Stafford was
Starting point is 00:33:57 five, six years in the league. Had he left, do you think Tom Brady would be able to take the Detroit lines to the Super Bowl that year? So while the comparison is very valid and the narrative part of it is very true, So, you know, James not getting a second chance in Tampa has kind of worked out. James higher completion percentage.
Starting point is 00:34:19 Stafford's got the edge and TDs and picks, but not by much. No, it's a thought-provoking argument. I saw it on our guy, Ballhawks, IG. How about Matt Stafford, your boy, Teddy Bruske says, not tough enough to play in New England? Man, I love me some Teddy Bruske. Let me say that. I just disagree with Teddy.
Starting point is 00:34:40 Pull that quote up. He's not tough enough to play here. He's just not tough enough. I don't think he's tough enough to be coached hard. You really went in on not tough enough there. Do you realize the mental toughness that Tom Brady had to have for 20 years to deal with Bill Belichick and that type of coaching? I mean, constant pressure every single day.
Starting point is 00:34:58 To Stafford sort of grab you as a guy who could handle that? I just don't think so. He went to Shaw McVeigh and his little best friend relationship and go have fun over there. That's fine. Listen, quote. And I didn't hear it. how the tone of this was. He might have been just joking or like saying it in like a kind of a ball busty voice. Good luck. Here I'll try to do jockey ball busting. He went to Shaw McVeigh and his
Starting point is 00:35:21 little best friend relationship and go out of fun over there. I think he meant it. Well he probably meant it. I mean he's he's very patriots man and like I say this with all due respect to Teddy Bruske because you want to talk about somebody who's he's very qualified to talk about this but I just disagree with him. He's one of the toughest players to ever play in New England. He's like Mr. Patriot, everything you hear, and he's always so cool. I just thought this was a little out of left field because, you know, you're comparing that he's not like say a Tom Brady. There is only one Tom Brady. Who lasts 20 years with Bill Belichick? You know, like who's using that as, well, he couldn't do that. Like very few people could do that. And I also don't think you can make the leap to a
Starting point is 00:36:11 assume that because he doesn't want to play in a place with no weapons right now and a bunch of uncertainty coming in the next year. And I do think they'll be better. But he sees this and he says, I have one shot at this to like cash in on a career where I've been insanely productive but have never had a chance to win. And so we'll find out now, was it Detroit or was it him? And obviously you can never make that determination a year or two sample. But I just think like when you're on a bad team, you're actually in a lot of ways tougher than when you're on a really good team.
Starting point is 00:36:51 And when you play for New England, you don't actually have to be tougher. You have to be more flexible. And he does insinuate that like flexibility, coachability factors into the word tough. Maybe he means it a different way than it's coming across. but toughness to me isn't being flexible. Toughness to me isn't being adapted to the scheme
Starting point is 00:37:14 to kill your ego. Like those are all things you have to do in New England and I appreciate the way they do things, but you don't have to be tougher to play there like physically tougher. You don't. You don't. Some of the toughest dudes I ever played football with
Starting point is 00:37:30 played for the St. Louis Rams. You know, so like to draw that straight line to toughness and New England and being the only two destinations on these linear scales, I just don't think it's, I don't think it makes sense. I think Matt Stafford's shown that he's very tough, durable, in every sense of the word that you'd associate toughness with for a football player.
Starting point is 00:37:54 Well, he's clearly a professional. It seems like not being tough enough to play somewhere might apply better in a college setting. You played for a guy in Al Groh. Yeah. probably not the same setup as say a i don't know Jeff Fisher or yeah i mean like uh or a Sean McVeigh or i mean it's just a very different so i mean one for for him just simply not wanting to go play in new england like here's
Starting point is 00:38:24 how this works too he tells his agent and it leaks like there's nothing wrong with him saying to his agent in confidence that i don't want to play in new england like he's You don't leak intentionally that you don't want to play in New England. You know, like there's no, what's the end game there? No, no, no net game there. You leak that you want to play somewhere. Unless I'm mistaken, I don't think you do that to take a shot at New England. So the media stretches this and then, you know, the media, former players,
Starting point is 00:38:54 take a shot at Matt Stafford. And I just don't think it's founded. Are you tough enough to play in New England? No. Uh-uh. Some of the best teammates I ever had, you know, because Pats fans will take a sound bite and they'll run with it because they want people to. I've been told so many times that I said, I have people in my mentions all the time saying, are you having fun yet? They think I'm Lane Johnson.
Starting point is 00:39:22 You know, or that I fed Lane Johnson. I've been pretty straight up about the Pats. I've never shied away from like, I haven't given you company lines. Like, did I like living in Foxborough? one of my favorite place to live the people were really nice, got dark early. Is it the toughest place of all time? No. Tough guys all over the NFL.
Starting point is 00:39:43 It's one of the most disciplined places of all time. If he wanted to make a point and say he turns the ball over too much, he's not disciplined enough, then you'd have an argument, you can make that argument, but to question toughness, it's kind of a thing you don't do.
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Starting point is 00:40:14 Draft King's Sportsbook is doubling your money if a touchdown scored in the big game. Download Draft King's Sportsbook app now and use promo code Greenlight to get a shot at doubling your money if a touchdown scored in Sunday's game. That's promo code green light to get a shot at doubling your money
Starting point is 00:40:29 during Sunday night's season finale, only at Draft King Sportsbook. Must be 21 or older in New Jersey, Indiana or Pennsylvania only bonus comprised the first deposit bonus and first bet match. Each up to $500 deposit bonus requires 25 times play through. Restrictions apply. Ced draft kings.com slash sportsbook for details. Gambling problem call 1,800 gambler or in Indiana, 1,8009 with it. So we got Jimmy Lake here.
Starting point is 00:40:48 The guy's a legend. You guys have met at my wedding, but it's been some years now. Jim, Macon, Macon, Jim. Hey, Jim. Good, Jim. It's weird to call you Jimmy Lake. Usually we greet each other with some profanity throughout the course of my career. yep so give the people a little background on how long you were with the Rams and you know like
Starting point is 00:41:13 what brought you into the equipment world in the world that you became a legend oh I don't know about legend but uh yeah so growing up my dad's best friend uh from his childhood friend was the PR guy for the Rams we're talking 70s and 80s and so um My brother started working in 1979. He's a few years older than me. And then, you know, when I was old enough and my mom wore him down enough to say, hey, you know, take a little Jimmy with you to the quick, you know, to training camp and to work after he got sick of my mom hounded him so much.
Starting point is 00:41:50 He said, fine, I'll bring him. And so, yeah, very young age, like 14, probably started hanging out, shagging balls and picking up dirty laundry and running around. And no parental guidance. and it was a different time back then a lot more fun a lot more stuff going on I guess so what year was this then oh this would have been like 85 86 so who was the who was the best player on the Rams in 85 is Jackie Slater or something Jackie Slater for sure without a doubt and and who were the other stars that you at 14 years all walked in equipment was like
Starting point is 00:42:29 holy shit I don't know I always like Jim Everett he was on me know he's a quarterback. He was you know, he's the quarterback. He beat up Jim Rome. Yeah, he did. We used to mess around a little bit. He chased my he used to chase my little fat ass all over the place.
Starting point is 00:42:48 We used to mess with him a lot and he would bring it back. So he was really good relationship back. Then it was fun. Yeah, I mean, the NFL's changed so much, man. It's like, I try to tell people that the group we had, and I always say this,
Starting point is 00:43:03 like the two Super Bowls are great but the core group we had in St. Louis especially like for me during the Fisher years when we had the William Hayes of the world and we had all the guys come in that were so like Cortland and all the fun we had the pranks we pulled even you know me James Hall Fred Robbins going back to your office every Friday to eat Merr's pizza shout out to Merg we had we had somebody on our field crew that had a killer pizza spot in St. Louis. We go back there and drink beer and eat pizza every Friday. That was like the old NFL. The new NFL is so sterile. Like the real relationships. I feel like, well, I'm not saying equipment guys and players aren't tight anymore, but the equipment guy is the most important guy in the building. To me,
Starting point is 00:43:47 like most underrated, important guy. And you know I'm not blowing smoke because you're literally like a psychiatrist sometimes. You're like, you know, you got to keep the guys together, all the quirky dudes who need special ship for their uniforms. Oh, yeah. You got to make sure all the equipment gets the games. Like, there's so much going on behind the scenes. It just felt like we had great relationships in that building. But the reason you're here is because you're a wet ball expert.
Starting point is 00:44:14 When the balls are wet, we call Jimmy Lake. So this Sunday, the forecast, what's the forecast looking like, make? High is 73, low of 62, 55% chance of rain. But acuweather has, uh, uh, either three or five diagonal lines. Yeah. Signifying rain. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:44:34 And we got the five lines for Sunday. Five lines. Five lines of rain. So if you had to get ready for a Super Bowl and you're seeing the five diagonal lines. Yeah. What are you thinking? You're packing everything. I mean, I think there's this, you know, we always said we're going to pack everything and
Starting point is 00:44:51 we're going to take the time and issue everything. And, you know, I'd rather, I'd rather pack it back up and not use it. and have it there and not use it, then your football gods will smile upon you. If you try to cut a corner, you know, that football god will, you know,
Starting point is 00:45:06 kick you right in the ass. And you'll be, you'll be getting your butt kicked all day. So yeah, it's all about preparation. It's all about having everything for everybody. You know, even down to seven stud cleats,
Starting point is 00:45:17 which guys don't like wearing anymore. Dude, they hate it. They hate it. And every time we'd go somewhere that we were supposed to wear seven studs and it was raining, and you'd warn the guys.
Starting point is 00:45:26 You're like, guys, or check your cleats, go out and check your cleats early. Like, guys would fall down. And we'd lose, like, up in Green Bay that day. Yeah. You know, I think the biggest thing is, you know, you're going to, I would be surprised if you take, you know, the top 10% of the league on age-wide, take them out the top,
Starting point is 00:45:44 and I bet those guys haven't won seven-suds ever. You know, they're growing up playing on field turf. They're growing, you know, in high school and junior high. And, you know, they're just not wearing a seven-studded cleat. when we're you know um and the problem is it becomes a mind game and you know i think you got to you got to take it and it's not in my opinion my philosophy always was and i tried to get coaches to buy in some bought in some didn't um but my thought was it's you know you don't deal with it when it's raining you don't deal with it when the weather comes and it's on the board you deal with
Starting point is 00:46:15 it in springtime you go out you have a practice you have a walk through with your seven stud you do that two or three times and the guys like oh these aren't that bad some deal they really aren't They just feel weird when you put them on it first and like for the people listening, make, are you wondering what a seven stud is? Yeah, I'm wondering if it's length or quantity. That's a good question. It's a great question. It's an age old question.
Starting point is 00:46:36 It's an age old question. Jimmy, break it down for them. There's seven of those motherfuckers, okay? Seven stuff is a screw-in cleat. So basically, when you were a little kid, you probably had seven, at least when I was a kid, that's what they had. And they screw in, they're screw in.
Starting point is 00:46:52 There's different lengths you can put in them. but there's less amount of cleats on the bottom of the sole. There's only seven. But they're longer. You can go up to three quarter inch or even inch if you want to break the rules. But when you go up to Green Bay, you better have it ready because they're, you know, or Chicago was just notorious for being horrible. You had to have them.
Starting point is 00:47:13 And but when you put them on and you're walking on carpet, you feel like you're on stilts. You know, it's seven pressure points, you know, compared to so many more, right? It's a little disorienting. ending. It kind of makes you feel a little off, but then when you're out on the field, you're going to be happy you had them on. And like this Sunday would be, I guarantee you now, and what Jimmy says is so true, like young dudes were allergic to them. I bet corners in the 90s put them on no questions asked. I mean, except for when they were on AstroTurf. Right. And you go and you go back and you talk to, you know, you talk to guys that played,
Starting point is 00:47:47 you know, even in the last 10 years that played for Green Bay, they push them hard. I mean, But it's nothing new for them. So it's not a big deal. Right. And that's the point. And you know, and you feel like you're going to fall over. You feel like you're going to turn your ankle and you're going to, you know, because you're just, you're so high up when you're on concrete or, you know, carpet.
Starting point is 00:48:05 But when you get out on the grass, you know, you sink in. It's better. But, you know, with that being said, the turf this weekend, you know, they haven't played a game down there in six weeks, I think, seven weeks. It's been a long time. The bucks have been on the road to the whole playoff run. They have the best of the best down there of getting that turf right. it's going to be it's going to be it's going to be fine i don't i don't see any issues so you don't
Starting point is 00:48:27 think it's the seven stud day it could be i mean definitely going to be out there you're going to push it you're going to push it in the morning um you're going to push it you know when you get off the bus and i you know i hope you know i'm sure i guarantee andy reeds prepared for it um you know i'm sure uh alan their equipment guy talk of you know talked to team and address it and hopefully you know and i'm sure uh coach arian is doing the same thing Bruce is doing the same thing down there in Tampa. Oh, yeah, man. And Tom's going to run in that locker room. He's not going to not let it happen. You know what I'm saying? Yeah, no. It's all that little stuff. You know that. You play with him. He's like another coach. So tell people as an aside how teams get their shit to
Starting point is 00:49:07 away games. So normally in away games, so, you know, an NFL team's going to pack up like for the layman, you know, like a four bedroom, five bedroom house every weekend as far as if you do the math on the poundage. And we're going to, and you, it depends on where you are. When we were in St. Louis, we were essentially located. We trucked everywhere, almost everywhere, even like, you know, maybe not Seattle every time, but you take the biggest plane. But like being in California the last few years, we did a lot of flying. Anytime, like the Super Bowl, we did a few years back, you know, we spent a semi on, you know, the week before, a Thursday before. So like today, or like last Thursday, but then, you know, because you had to practice there the whole week, which I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I,
Starting point is 00:49:48 I'm so jealous for those guys this week. How great is that? Dude, not having to deal with all that Super Bowl hype, BS. But if you were a young equipment manager, you were rising in the ranks. You'd want to be down there in Tampa. Yeah, I don't know. I still go back to, you know, somebody told me, you know, we went to the first Super Bowl, and I swear it was the worst week of work in my life.
Starting point is 00:50:10 And as soon as that Mike Jones made that tackle, it was awesome, right? Right. And then you fast forward. We go down to the Superdome and play. Tom when he won his first Super Bowl get beat us and you know the total week experience was totally different had a great experience
Starting point is 00:50:25 chief and the saint's equipment guy spoiled us rotten wouldn't let us work wouldn't let us do laundry they're like get out see the town well I had a great week and then whistle blue and you know they're kicking the field goal to beat us so the whole thing sucks
Starting point is 00:50:41 well that's what they say that's what they say is like when I went up to the pads I say this like all the time Niko was Rob Nikovic gave me advice He's like if we get there I'm just warning you If you lose a Super Bowl You're gonna wish you were never there
Starting point is 00:50:53 And you know you wish you went Oh in 16 or 1 in 15 Like we did at times in St. Louis So before we move on Of those Super Bowls Because I got questions about those Smack or guy Our field guy
Starting point is 00:51:06 Shout out to Smack He says that Ask you about San Francisco in the evening Candlestick With the water coming up From the ground? Yep So when you
Starting point is 00:51:17 used to play it the stick, the tide would come in and the water table would rise and the water would come up underneath the stadium into the into the, into the, onto the grass and just make it slicker than it's not. Great. Go look at some old videos of early, you know, when they started their dynasty, you know, Roger Craig ran in and just look at some of that old video, the whole thing from outside the half, the whole middle of the field is kitty litter. and it's just and they're just trying to soak up water and that's that that's that that that that that was always a mess um you know it's um we experienced it at the coliseum you know when we had our first playoff run there our first you know when we got in the playoffs and made that run um we had never they hadn't played a game in the coliseum that late in the
Starting point is 00:52:07 calendar year forever right and you know sc's normally over you know Thanksgiving you know and whatever and so we're playing in january and if that humidity and that that marine layer came in and that was slicker than can be as well. I remember the Dallas game. The Dallas game, they slipped a lot. And we were, but, you know, that week, they were cool. I mean, our guys listened. A lot of guys put on the seven studs.
Starting point is 00:52:31 Yeah. You know, and that was a big deal. But yeah, the stick was horrendous for that just to the water table would come up underneath the stadium and right into the field. Some eerie shit, man. I love the, I love Candle. stick. Atlanta. You had weather in Atlanta, but it was an indoor situation. How did that affect the prep?
Starting point is 00:52:52 Yeah. You know, we were at the Falcon's facility and it was cold as can be and we packed everything. We were ready. We had everything packed. We had the big blowers, like on the sideline blowers go in and, you know, it's kind of funny if we were doing, if we were on
Starting point is 00:53:10 defense, if it was a defensive period, you know, Ike and Tori and, you know, all the, and Marshall were all sitting over by the heater, it's staying warm. Yeah. And, you know, whistleblow and, all right, let's go. And they get out there and, you know, throw their dimes and, you know, complete everything. Ball seems like it never hit the field with those guys, never hit the ground sometimes. It was just amazing.
Starting point is 00:53:30 That was probably the most impressive group of guys to watch and practice back in the day with this greatest show on turf because those guys, they go out to practice and their goal was not to let a ball hit the ground. And it happened. It would happen in a practice, which is just anybody that's been around us, It was like, no way, you know. How competitive was Tori? Because I know that. I play with him for a year.
Starting point is 00:53:49 It's a rhetorical question. Yeah, oh, he's competitive now. He's honored. Two different sides of the coin, right? You have Isaac and Isaac was just so quiet, but he had this drive in him. He had this drive in him that, you know, he was just, but it was just, it was just right under the surface.
Starting point is 00:54:07 Right. You never saw it. But if you knew him, you knew it was there. Yeah, he was, my greatest story at Ike was, you know, we got ready first playoff game in st louis first playoff game NFL playoff game in st louis and we're we're setting up and you know i comes in he's like where's my old straps my ankle straps i'm like those are the ones you put your bag i know he's like and i'm like you know shit let's go so i run out the corner and you know it's it's it's a playoff game and st louis is buzzing and it's a
Starting point is 00:54:36 great sports town and um so i jump i'm like i got to get to the facility which is like 30 minutes but it's traffic. So all of a sudden, the guy's like, you're getting the car. So we hop in a squad car. And we go zipping, down 70 of the facility, life-blaring, I'm not going to use any name, so don't get any city employees in trouble. But we fly all the way out there. I go, they're sitting right in his locker.
Starting point is 00:55:01 Grab them. I run back. He misses pre-game. He does not go out. He does not leave the locker room. He does not go to pre-game warm-ups. None. He's sitting there waiting.
Starting point is 00:55:10 He needed that brace. He wanted his old. broken in, you know, those Mueller black straps. I know the ones used to tie him up in the front. He doesn't go to pregame, go watch the film, first place from scrimmage, 80 yards to the house. Just split the, split the safeties and he's gone. I mean, that's who he was. He's just, I mean, that's why he's all-famer, you know, he's just the best. So New Orleans, what was the mood like? You guys were, it's crazy to think of Brady ever as an underdog, and now it's come full circle but yeah he was very much so the underdog in that situation what was the vibe like did
Starting point is 00:55:46 did people see that kind of train coming well you know hindsight's 2020 right we were pretty cocky and my dad always would smack across the head if you have too cocky right yeah um but you know i don't think my our group was that cocky i think we were confident but i don't think we were cocky. I think some of some other people in the building may have been. Definitely were a cocky. But, you know, that's why, I don't know, we were like double-digit favorites. And, you know, it was like the biggest upset.
Starting point is 00:56:21 At that time, I think it was like the biggest upset. But, you know, they came and they just beat the crap out of our wideouts. And, you know, did I have broken ribs in that game? He had a, he did have an issue that he got. early in the game, I believe. Holy shit. Yeah. Somebody said he played hurt.
Starting point is 00:56:42 Yeah, he played. And, you know, Marshall is probably the smartest football player of being around. Just to see the frustration on his eyes that it seemed like everything we were going to do, they knew we were doing before we were doing. Right. You know, whatever. And I'm not here to point me.
Starting point is 00:56:59 Oh, make you go. When we did walkthroughs in Minneapolis before the Philly, New England came, they ran a bunch of fake plays and shit. Yeah. Even in 2000 and whatever it was, 18. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:57:13 Yeah. Yeah. There was a coach that was, the coach once told me, if they're getting caught for something, they're getting caught for a reason so they're not getting caught for something out. Right. Yeah. On purpose, the diversion. Which quarterback was the quirkiest about how they liked their balls?
Starting point is 00:57:32 I don't know because, you know, honestly, smack handled that. Smack handled that part. He was, like, great with it. Yeah, I mean, everybody was the same. You know, we had to train someone when we got to L.A. just because Smack didn't make the move. Yeah. So that was a little rough at first, so we figured it out.
Starting point is 00:57:51 You know, it's an art. Anybody that works football, it's an art. Like, they have to take pride in it because the job sucks. It's just like, it's just straight elbow grease. And it takes so much time to get one ball ready. And you're doing so many balls to get those cherry balls out of them, right? What do they do? They rub them?
Starting point is 00:58:09 rub them, rub them, I'm not being... Yeah, you're warm them up. You're rubbing them with a brush. You know, everybody has their seeking concoction that you're not supposed to use, but whatever. You know, you're just trying to get the oils up to the front. It's just
Starting point is 00:58:25 conditioning a leather is all you're doing. And, you know, some guys want a slicker ball, some guys want a fatter ball. Some, you know, so you just figure out what your quarterback wants and make it right. He's a fucking six. Now, are you just talking about regular footballs or the left-handed footballs as well.
Starting point is 00:58:40 Left-handed footballs are totally different ballgame. Okay. Don't even start off the left-handed football. You probably don't even know about that. Don't even know about it. That's an equipment room. I didn't, I didn't, listen, I can touch the ball a lot. That's for sure.
Starting point is 00:58:52 Jimmy was afraid if I ever had the ball in my hand. There was a problem. That would be probably good for our team. One, one, I scored touchdown one time. Yeah, I remember. Yeah, I ran straight with it. Left-hand. Explain that to me making real quick.
Starting point is 00:59:04 I won't, but if you were a quarterback, what do you think? Are you prefering the bigger ball, the smaller ball? Well, so I hear that as much, now, I'm with you, there was some really fishy shit, maybe north of fishy shit going on in New England, circa 2001. But I thought the flake gate got made to be too much of a big deal. Agreed. 100%.
Starting point is 00:59:25 But all they had to do was say, hey, my bad, yeah, we put some air out of it. Here's a $100,000,000 fine, the charity from the league, and it'd be over. Yeah. It's all how you handle things. Like, it's, you know, it's like, you know, when you screw up, you know, I know, I know I know your pops, you ever screwed up, you had to face the music. When you start, you know, compounding things and all it never happened, it never happened, it's a conspiracy, then it's just going to compound and it's going to get blown up for worse.
Starting point is 00:59:51 If you say, yeah, my bad, we took some air out of it. It's a week of media and it's done. Yeah, because, like, I've also heard that some quarterbacks like their balls pumped up, heard Aaron Rogers liked his a little more solid, which is probably the worst thing that he could want for a wide receiver playing in Green Bay. I mean, that shit has to hurt coming off his arm. Yeah, the whole deflategate thing, like, they said the Colts busted him, right? You guys have probably heard all the backstories about how it went down and everything,
Starting point is 01:00:20 but like the Colts busted them in the first half. And in the second half, they came out and threw the ball around the yard even better. So it was like in that situation, it was kind of the, you know, the example that would serve to, hey it was a little overblown including they went out and beat the best one of the best defenses underblown you're on your game dude on this fucking game today um all right man last question yeah how hard was it to fit james larenice's head in a helmet because of his ears dude it was ridiculous i i wish you know what was the race car driver that had the ears pin back one of the bush brothers had a did he really yeah they had his ears pin they like a surgery on his
Starting point is 01:01:04 ears to thin them back. Yeah, remember the one time it stuck out the hole and then he got hit by another helmet. Yes, he did his ear exploded. And he cut the tip of his ear off. And yeah, I mean, you know, and he's got that shaped head. It's not a big guy. He can probably hear us right now. I hope he can. I miss that. I miss that old slut. What a great dude. What a great dude. Hey, did you see the, uh, somebody, like my son hit me up last night and somebody was talking about, uh, Cheerio, no, Oreos in a car putting a fill in a car up with Oreos
Starting point is 01:01:40 and my son's like, what about crickets? Yeah, see, there you go. I just told that story the other day. I was on Brian Billick's radio show with Michael Robinson. You remember Michael Robinson? He was in Seattle. Great dude. And they were asking about pranks and
Starting point is 01:01:54 you've heard, you know, this one. But obviously, for those of you who aren't caught up, me and William Hayes put 10,000 crickets and James Laronitis is Audi. The crickets died. I didn't know the crickets when they died, they smelled or that they would like just
Starting point is 01:02:07 they would make catacombs inside the AC vents and just stay there, dude. He had to sell his Audi. It really was bad. Jimmy, Jimmy, what do they call that when people get charged?
Starting point is 01:02:20 You would have been charged because there's somewhere I could have thrown you under the bus and we would all have gone down under the bus. That's how you keep respect. I know, I know.
Starting point is 01:02:30 But if I was, if I wanted to bring people down with me to lessen the sentence, I would have definitely, there would have been some road that led back to the equipment room that day. But definitely, but it would have been, it would have been my oldest, because I think he had to go through the sunroof or something to open the door. He did. I had his kids help me.
Starting point is 01:02:46 It's like, it's amazing. It's amazing. One big happy, fucked up family over there in Earth City. I wouldn't change it for the world. No, man. What a ride, dude. What are you doing now? Tell the people what you're doing now.
Starting point is 01:02:55 Because this is really interesting to me because we had a teammate, um, I had a teammate who lost his foot because of staff, right? Daniel Fells. Yeah, part of his foot. You know what I mean? Yeah. And I've had staff before I had it on my arm. Luckily, they got it early, like locker rooms.
Starting point is 01:03:12 And half of what you guys did for years was keep the place clean, which is an impossibility probably, actually. Yeah, I can imagine. I mean, you know, we would spray down nonstop, the aerosol cans and the, you know, the 3D foggers and all that stuff multiple times a day. if you got someone that had something, you always, you know, wash their stuff separate, high heat, wash it a couple of times. But now what I'm doing is that, you know, I was introduced to this great new company, you know, applied silver. They have a, they invented a technology that we're actually able to turn anything that you can put in a washing machine into an antimicrobial fabric.
Starting point is 01:03:52 So whether it's your socks. So you say you have a, you know, you have an open, you had surgery and you're wearing a sock or you're wearing like a cloth. clock under a bracelet. It's anything that you can wash is an antimicrobial fabric. So like we have multiple teams in the NFL. Anaheim Ducks just came on board. They've been doing it in health care for a long time. So it's just a game changer. We're actually down in Miami right now, connecting with some really high-end spas down in the beach here. You guys are doing spas now. It's everything because it's like, you know, it, you know, some of that stuff spots like because the current situation we're in.
Starting point is 01:04:31 But really the baseline of it all is based in staff and Mercer infection. This is all surface stuff. Like we would have to come into work and you know, you're just what are some of the heightened awareness things that we had to do? I mean, it was just that pink soap
Starting point is 01:04:47 that disgusting pink soap. I mean, it was a disgusting it's a disgusting thing to have to do. Like, you know, keep a football facility clean. It's impossible. Guys stink. Yeah. A hundred sweaty dudes.
Starting point is 01:05:01 Applied silver. Applied silver. It treats every day, everything you put on your cloth and what we found is, you know, and I don't want to go out on my soapbox too big. But what we found was if you wash cloth and towels and stuff, it actually helps the stuff you're not washing stay cleaner and becomes cleaner in a more sterile environment. Because at the end of the day, we're the gross people. I mean, the people are the gross.
Starting point is 01:05:21 That's where all the gross stuff comes from. Yeah. I mean, we're the source of this. We're disgusting. And so if you're, if everything is, you know, what's closest is, cleanest and keep the closest to you cleanest is, you know, your clothing is have, you know, is antimicrobial and, you know, all of a sudden it doesn't get a chance to move from you out to the environment. It's getting killed when it touches your shirt. Can applied silver
Starting point is 01:05:44 help clean Macon's hot tub because it is disgusting? Have you looked into hot tubs? I have not got into hot tubs. Okay, but if you guys ever branch off. I don't know what's going on into hot tubs. Because next it's spas and then next is going to be hot tubs and when if you get to hot tubs which technically your fringe hot tub right now working in spas just I'll send you some pictures of his hot tub it is a
Starting point is 01:06:10 sight to behold a sight to behold you want to defend yourself fuck you hey is this Washington Husky football coach changed your life at all you know he used to be with a he used to be a de coordinator with the duck or the bucks and you know he's been around the league
Starting point is 01:06:26 he was in the NFL for a long time so we would each other's emails. So people would email me stuff he meant to send to him and he'd get stuff that was meant to send to me. So it's just funny. You were getting like
Starting point is 01:06:38 detailed defensive plans in your inbox. He was getting an invoice for, you know, jock straps. Did you say drop straps too? Yeah, I did.
Starting point is 01:06:50 Take mine, man. We sure are. People don't wear that shit anymore. Nobody wears cups in the NFL, by the way. No, no one. Except I used to do. I used to wear one to be a wise ass around the facility, but Jimmy Lake, that's for another day. Appreciate you, man.
Starting point is 01:07:06 Love you, man. Love you too, dude. See you soon. See you take her. At the hot tub. Reed, you got a quiz, bro? Because we're, like, we're going to do a Super Bowl quiz. Like, people do stuff like this, I was told, Super Bowl Week, right?
Starting point is 01:07:20 Yeah, content. Content is king. Over here. Or queen. Nice. Yeah. As a father of a daughter. You're right. Oh, don't ever do that.
Starting point is 01:07:31 Oh, I've done it like 25 times. So far. All of them ironically, yeah. Yeah, but like, as a father of a daughter, I do not like nuclear weapons. Right. So thank you. Right. You don't have a daughter.
Starting point is 01:07:48 So I'd appreciate if, as a father of a daughter, I'd appreciate if you didn't use as a father of a daughter. You're right. I don't have a daughter. Now me. Am I allowed to weigh it on certain things? Yeah. Like as a father of a daughter, I am pro-democracy. Got it. If I had a daughter, I would imagine that I'd be pro-vaccination.
Starting point is 01:08:10 Questionable. I'd really prefer it if you suck with as whatever you want to be. But you're not a father of a daughter. I know a father of a daughter, and I know that he would be against fill in the blank. All right, that's fair as fuck. Yeah, you can say that. Does she listen to the podcast? My daughter?
Starting point is 01:08:32 Yeah. Tell you in the future. Tell you tomorrow. Has she listened so far in life? Yeah. Yeah. Nah. Over under.
Starting point is 01:08:39 Yeah. Under. Okay. So final score prediction here. Let's do it, right? Yeah. I'm going carbon copy of last year. 3120 in favor of the Kansas City Chiefs.
Starting point is 01:08:52 I'm going to go 2724, the Buccaneers. Oh, you're one of those, huh? Yeah. Good for you. Yeah. I got there a couple days ago. So do you know what the line is of the game? Three, I believe.
Starting point is 01:09:07 Yeah, it started at four. So if you got on it at four, I think the bucks are the best bet. And as you can see, although rain doesn't technically increase the likelihood that the game goes under, I think this is an under situation. Who's your most valuable player? Who you got? Is the father of a daughter? Got Travis Kelsey. Seven for 120 and 2.
Starting point is 01:09:37 This is so scary because if I pick a receiver, that receiver's probably going to get just shut out. Two sec. Go, go D-Line, bro. Go backer. Let's go Shaq Barrett. Love it. Shaq Barrett. I think Shaq Barrett pressures Mahomes into a Devin White
Starting point is 01:09:56 I-N-T for six. Well, Shaq probably has to score if he's going to bring home MVP. Not if he has two and a half sacks and two force fumbles. Okay, that would do it. And forces a pick six and Brady's sloppy
Starting point is 01:10:11 and throws like two picks in the rain, but they're in plus territory like last week and then the game plays out exactly how I said. Let's do the knowledge quiz. Tom Brady has won six Super Bowls, which player has the
Starting point is 01:10:24 second most Super Bowl wins. I'll give you a hint. He is from an in-state school. From an in-state school? J.M.U. I also went there. It wouldn't be there. I didn't matriculate.
Starting point is 01:10:39 I also went there in my head pictures. In-state. I mean, it wasn't Michael Beck. It wasn't Bruce Smith or. I, you know. Oh, what about William and Mary? Yeah, it's probably like one of those 60s dudes. William and Mary, William and Mary, come on.
Starting point is 01:10:59 Oh, are we including coaches and shit? Mike Tomlin? No coaches. Okay, no coaches. In state, huh? James Ferrier, Virginia, Heath Miller, Virginia. It's not going to be as many as Brady. It's got to be somebody back in the day.
Starting point is 01:11:14 I'm going to go. Did Bill Dudley play somewhere where he won Super Bowls? Bill Dudley played way before Super Bowl. We're going with somebody we've never heard of. Charles Haley. Oh, no, it is Charles Haley. Jam U. Golly, dude, it's the Dukes.
Starting point is 01:11:31 Go Dukes. She has five, right? Yeah. First got five Super Bowl. Fucking A, dude. Next. How many pounds of guacamole is consumed on Super Bowl Sunday? Oh, my goodness.
Starting point is 01:11:45 Give us an over and under, cowboy. Well, I'd rather us throw out ridiculous numbers. I think that's more entertaining for the people. Yeah, you're right. You're right. Right, right, right, right. How much is a ton, thousand pounds? No.
Starting point is 01:11:58 2,500 pounds? No, in the middle of those two. 17. Not literally, not directly in the middle, almost in the middle. If it were in the middle, it would be 1750. Nicely done by you, yeah. A little higher than that? 18, 325.
Starting point is 01:12:12 Higher? 19, 436. Big round number, like round as hell. 22,000. Yes. Yes. Oh, damn. That took a ton of time.
Starting point is 01:12:24 Yeah. Golly, give me 14 tons of guacamole. Okay, so you're saying 28,000 pounds? 28,000 pounds. I will go with... It's probably not even close. I will go with 2,124 pounds. 8 million pounds.
Starting point is 01:12:45 What? What the fuck? It's wrong with us. 8 million pounds? That's something I can't. That's a lot of healthy fats. I can't picture. Is it?
Starting point is 01:12:54 The avocado. Oh, Avocado's lovely. Yeah. It's a lovely food. Yeah, you don't know what it is, do you? No, it is. It is a vegetable.
Starting point is 01:13:03 Is it? Yeah. It's not a fruit? No. Because you know, you got that tomato thing. I understand. Tomato is a nightshade and it is actually a fruit. Tomatoes a nightshade?
Starting point is 01:13:14 Yeah. What's a night shade? Like eggplants and shit? Huh. It is a fruit. People back in medieval times thought they were like poisonous, I believe. And that's... I don't care.
Starting point is 01:13:24 for egg plant. Tom Brady doesn't care for eggplant. Oh, TV12. Doesn't like Nick Foles much either. Emoji reference. Big groundhog. I'm going to get him a shirt with the duct tape on it already. Marketing. Yes. Next. We've talked about this a couple times on the show. Who has scored the first touchdown in Super Bowl history?
Starting point is 01:13:54 Max McGee Oh Green Bay Packer receiver Max McGee was drunk the night before Exactly right Legend Well done
Starting point is 01:14:01 Lean the four QBs To start the Super Bowl With multiple teams Tom Brady Yeah Tom Brady Peyton Manning Payton Manning Hey let's
Starting point is 01:14:16 Let's think about this Let's think about it We're not looking at anything No And we're not like Listen I'm terrible This stuff Oh
Starting point is 01:14:26 Kurt Warner. Kurt Wharner. Kurt flipping Warner. That's going to be the best side. Arizona and best Super Bowl play in history, thanks to Kurt Warner. James Harrison. Golly, I love that play. That's a great play.
Starting point is 01:14:40 I can see it. I can too. Hold on, don't tell us, don't tell us. We really got to work this out in our heads. I mean, the Washington team was ripping. The Akeman was only in one spot. Was it older or newer? Yeah, give us a decade.
Starting point is 01:14:56 60s, 70s. Oh. Bart Star. Nah. Fran Tarkinton. Guess one more. Dallas Cowboys, Giants, and Broncos.
Starting point is 01:15:10 You said Stavoc. Roger. Y.A. Tittle. Y.A. Tittle has a tight picture. In the end zone, his face is bleeding. It's tight until you realize that it's like... Autogram. No.
Starting point is 01:15:26 swinging and missing. Tom Brady, Peyton, Kurt Warner, and Craig Morton. Craig Morton. Dave Damasek would have got that in a fucking second, dude. Craig Morton. Denver Bronco fame. Fame. Fame, my foot.
Starting point is 01:15:43 Denver Bronco fame. He couldn't wait to say that. Who is the last non-quarterback to win Super Bowl MVP? The last one? Von Miller. Julian Edelman in Super Bowl 53 Oh yeah I don't know Ah Jules Yeah that was uh
Starting point is 01:16:00 It was like the game where they were like Who played well today Oh 13 to 3 Yeah Jules played real well But it was like They were like okay I guess we give it to You know can't give it to Tom no
Starting point is 01:16:13 13 not enough points How many footballs does the NFL Provide for the Super Bowl 36 Are we including No way no no no kicking All footballs. All footballs.
Starting point is 01:16:27 Left-handed footballs. 72. I'll say, well, since this is good, since we're doing prices right now, I should say 73. All right, so we'll go at the same time, on three. Well, hold on. Oh, you're going to redo your number? Yeah, no, you're going to openly admit that you're just doing Price's right technique. This is fucked up.
Starting point is 01:16:45 I'll tell you what I was going to say. What? 120. I'm 172. Okay. Chris is right. 72. Whoa.
Starting point is 01:16:53 Congratulations, you won. Congratulations, you won. What's up, bitch? What's up, bitch? Wow, good for you. I don't know, as a guy who knows a father of a daughter, I'm not really into saying what's up, bitch, as like an exclamation of excitement. Well, you know, my perspective as a father of a daughter now has changed when we first came upon this big ground dog.
Starting point is 01:17:25 you know first of the year i believe your reaction was what's up bitch yeah but things have changed i know a guy who has a daughter things have changed and maybe you should get to know that guy yeah that's just well hey i don't use i was earnestly celebrating your 72 football victory there thank you that was amazing no it was amazing out of left field um read one or two more bro. This is too fun. These are fire. These are fire flames. Fans love the interactivity, right? All our fans out there. Interactivity, nice. I think most would go interaction. It's on my, it's on my white board. Yeah. Well, they're not interacting. It's just there's an interactivity to this. They're at home like Max McGee. Oh, you, Chris, you're a fucking idiot. Like that type of thing. Right. Interactivity.
Starting point is 01:18:19 Maybe they're on a walk. Yeah. They're on a bike ride. Peloton. Maybe. Maybe they're in the car. Maybe they're on the can. A lot of y'all are probably taking a poop right now, huh? Gosh, that's heartwarming to think about. Which four teams have never appeared in a Super Bowl? Oh, man, the Detroit Lions. Jacksonville, Jaguars.
Starting point is 01:18:43 The Cleveland, no, Browns have been there. No, the Browns lost in the ASC Championship. Don't look at Reed. Answer the question. The Biner thing, the Browns, the Jags. The Jags. and the lions. The Texans ever go?
Starting point is 01:18:58 Final answer? Yeah. Well, the Texans, Texans haven't. Well, no, let him, yeah, the Texans haven't gone. Texans haven't gone. The Browns haven't gone. Don't get them confused with the Bengals who went a couple times, right? The Jags, Lions.
Starting point is 01:19:17 Yeah. Exactly right. Boom. Boom. A couple geniuses, face shield. which city is hosted the most Super Bowls Miami Miami Congratulations you won
Starting point is 01:19:35 congratulations you won congratulations you won yeah easy one 11 for two historians like us yeah the Super Bowl is the second most watched sporting event of the year globally what is the most watched every year
Starting point is 01:19:49 every year so we can't go World Cup or Olympics the most watched event Super Bowl second most watch a lot of people watching football I thought they were just like people weren't going to watch football anymore
Starting point is 01:20:07 I believe it I mean but what's every year in Europe toward France people don't watch that it's probably something it's something in Asia Premier League God face shield There's a lot of people
Starting point is 01:20:18 in Asia highly popular cities what's the sporty continent I don't know they love basketball there Okay, but what are they watching? They're not watching the NBA finals.
Starting point is 01:20:33 What about that soccer stuff? Soccer stuff, people are watching the soccer stuff. But I don't think of the Premier League. Oh, Champions, yeah, Champions League. I'm going Tour de France. I'm going off the board saying Tour de France. Champions League is right. Okay, but that's what I said, right?
Starting point is 01:20:52 You just asked about soccer in general. Okay, and I also said Premier League, which I guess is something different. You would be like a guy in Seoul, South Korea being like, what about that football? Is Premier League different than Champions League? Yeah, they're two separate. EPL is like the proper league, like, you know, like Liverpool or like Manchester, Manchester United, Man City. EPL, the English Premier League, right? Yeah, EPL.
Starting point is 01:21:13 So I don't mean to say Manchester, Man City and Man United are the two Manchester teams. You remember? Teams at the bottom get relegated down and up. The Champions League is like the best, right? You know, they take, it's like a round robin. from the Bundesliga in Germany or La Liga in Spain with the EPL Siri A.
Starting point is 01:21:33 Siri A. Siri A. You remember when Lester? Yeah. I remember when Remember Zinidine Zadon? Yeah. Fucking headbutton dude.
Starting point is 01:21:47 Yeah. Remember Pelae? Yeah, oh yeah. He used to watch him kick the ball around the yard. Remember, uh, um, Wilmer Valderrama I go there's a
Starting point is 01:22:00 Carlos Valderrama Yeah Lexi Lalas Oh Kobe Jones Yeah Claudio Raina Yeah
Starting point is 01:22:09 Tony Miola Oh wow I'm starting to get a little stoned right now I can't think of soccer players Hey it's unbelievable I mean Niesta fucking
Starting point is 01:22:21 Oh nice Rami Lukaku Lukaku Romulu Kaku Rinalu Rinaldo Rinaldo, Ronaldino. Yeah, there's difference.
Starting point is 01:22:29 How about having one name? Oh, how about having one name? Aden Hazard. Yeah. Netherlands. Hazard. He was a badass. Netherlands had the most badass team on FIFA.
Starting point is 01:22:39 I love that club. Oh, weren't they good? We used to play FIFA until four in the morning back in our drinking days. And we used to play a game. Like pregame game was phone call roulette. Mm-hmm. Have we ever talked about this? No.
Starting point is 01:22:54 Can we? Sure. So explain the game. You pull out your phone, you got your contacts. You have to scroll through your contacts. Keep scrolling, keep scrolling, keep scrolling, keep scrolling. One big scroll. One big, like, blind scroll and just let it, like, I don't know what sound it makes when it scrolls.
Starting point is 01:23:13 Hopefully none. Have you people still got clicks on your phones, take them off please? Yeah, just turn it on silent. And the other person gets to say stop, and you stop on a person. Or they put their finger down, too, on the, it's like, it's like Wheel of Fortune. Right. For phone calls. Yes.
Starting point is 01:23:26 when you land on that person, say you land on redacted, somebody you do business with. And you're like, no, that's not going to work for me. You say no. So that's one strike against you. Then you get another. Then you have to do the Wheel of Fortune thing again. Boom.
Starting point is 01:23:42 If you say no this time, the third Wheel of Fortune, you have to. So you're taking a big risk because like Wheel of Fortune number two could be somebody just slightly better and you get greedy. and then the next one could be, I don't know, Roger Goodell, a father-in-law, you know,
Starting point is 01:24:01 like a teacher, an investor in your company, and we're pre-gaming to go out and hang out. So, you know, like not a good time or a state of being to make these calls.
Starting point is 01:24:14 It's like 11P. It's 11P, which means this is when we used to go out, like you'd wait to go to the bar until 1120 in your mid-20s. Like it's, how is it at the bar? too early it's 1050.
Starting point is 01:24:26 Yeah, we were even pushing 1230. I mean, I still do that shit, but I just go to the bar when I want to go to the bar. Like, I'd rather be empty. But we, um, we used to play that nonstop. And so the penalty is, what is it? Then you have to call. When you make the call, if they don't pick up, you have to drink a beer. You can also leave a message.
Starting point is 01:24:50 You can, you can leave a message. At least 60 seconds in duration. But it's got to be a, an awkwardly long message that'll get you out of the beer I swear to this sounds like a lot but we're this is right off the dome we used to play this game a lot now
Starting point is 01:25:03 so three wheel of fortunes up to third wheel of fortune you got no choice call that person that person doesn't pick up you got to drink a beer now if the voicemail that you leave is awkward and long because they're all going to be awkward
Starting point is 01:25:16 if they're over 60 seconds then you're you get out of it now here's the multiplier this is where the game gets fun sitting there at home thinking how could it get more fun okay i'll tell you face time is like a multiplier so if i land on somebody that's just i think maybe this person will pick up a stray face time i'm taking a big risk in doing it i got to drink two beers if they don't pick up but if they do pick up you have to drink two
Starting point is 01:25:49 beers that's right and you can never during a call face time or voicemail let on that we're playing a game. It has to be an earnest conversation. You got to just be 11 p.m. at night be like, did you see the... Hey man, what do you think about P? You get you like, I'm like calling the most awkward person in my phone asking them what they thought about
Starting point is 01:26:08 the refs letting them play last week. Right. Now I have 1,414 contacts. You probably have twice that number. Most of these people I've not spoken to in... Let's do a spin. Over years. Okay.
Starting point is 01:26:21 Let's do a spin, shall we? Sure. For one beer. Okay. Let's call somebody for one beer. Okay. We're going to have a nice clean round of phone call roulette. Okay.
Starting point is 01:26:30 Who's going first? I'll go first. Okay. Okay. Start going, please. I am Wheel of Fortuning. Stop. Who is it?
Starting point is 01:26:43 Guy named Joe, I know. Okay. I think it'd be too long in conversation. Here's the thing with playing this game against Chris Long. when you get a call from Chris Long, famous athlete Walter Peyton Man of the Air, two-time Super Bowl champion, just ask his signature.
Starting point is 01:27:01 Oh, that's so, that's such a... I don't even do that. I only do that when they make me. Oh, okay. I didn't mean to offend. Two-time Super Bowl champion, that thing's true. People pick up the phone call, and you typically win. When you get a phone call from, say,
Starting point is 01:27:15 your real estate agent at 11 o'clock at night, people are confused and hit ignore. There could be radon. issues like whoa just got a ping on my radon app i yeah i just got a ping on my radon belt like i'm out here just like with a metal detector however you guys do it you're so good at them i'll ask man i am i'm ready to do it yeah you might want to maybe a listing just popped up at 11 p.m. you're the type of guy that works all night yeah typically via email at that time yeah but you're like the you're like an agent type real estate agent you're like come on let's get this deal done like you're like you're
Starting point is 01:27:52 like the Drew Rosenhouse type of that's a nice relationship to offer like you're more like a sports agent real estate agent I cannot be further from Drew Rosenhouse um approach to our business no but I think Drew Rosenhouse picks up the phone at 1 a.m. Okay I and probably uses it at 1 a we do advocate for our clients. Okay so I'm going to say no on Joe okay because it's going to be a long you to go opposite way up now please okay up from j or you can pick you can pick a new letter go okay okay scroll up yep stop jacobie brissette wow yeah is that gonna be the dude earnest i think i might try to facet okay that's too beers that's two beers for you if he that's right he picks up what time is it don't worry about it
Starting point is 01:28:50 and you got to be earnest bro you can't tell them that it's a bit no I'm not going to I'm going to ask him on the pod soon I'm gonna say look at what we got going on here okay all right that's fair I'm gonna say look at the type of podcast you could be on let's go
Starting point is 01:29:09 fire it up fuck dude Chris is now hitting the Jacoby Brissette contact and what happens is the next one I got a call for real yeah oh well yeah if I say no If I go back, I'm considering, like, I could just call him, but he probably won't pick up a call.
Starting point is 01:29:26 I mean, like, who picks up a stray call at 6 p.m. I do. You do. Yeah, I don't. 5.50. Fuck it. I'm going to spin again. Wow.
Starting point is 01:29:47 Really? Yeah, I'm going to spin again. Because I just, I want to, you know what, fuck it. I want to see you drink two beers. Here we go. Come on, Jacoby. Come on, Jacoby. Be doing something.
Starting point is 01:30:04 something you've got a life come on only got a couple fucking rings left let's go let's go drink that famous mexican beer heineken i don't know like uh facetime one available if he calls me back i don't get anything out of it either that's the worst part that's awesome all right i'm starting my first beer now you're up okay where would you like me to start any letter in particular or you know Start at A and scroll down. Okay. Now. Easily.
Starting point is 01:30:42 I mean, that's a win. Oh, but he won't answer. So this is the guy who cuts my hair. Yeah, well, he shouldn't be answering right now. Was he a Kansas City chiefs type barber? He's one-on-one these days. He doesn't have a line of 20 at the shop. Now, yeah, he wouldn't answer.
Starting point is 01:31:00 So while it'd be a great call, hey, hope you're doing well, checking in. Yeah, yeah, for sure. Yeah, I'm not going to do it. Here I go. I'm going to keep going from here. You can tell me when. Go.
Starting point is 01:31:13 Okay. This woman is an appraiser. I don't know her. Okay. Why is she in your phone if you don't know her? Well, at some time, at one time, we've had some business. You know, I just don't recall. If I recall, recollectly.
Starting point is 01:31:30 Frazier come from far and wide. Though, if you're asking me, that probably shouldn't be the case. let's stick with local appraisers. You know what I'm saying? Who know the market better than... Yeah, sure, but are you calling her or not? You're certainly not FaceTiming her. So I would have to stay on...
Starting point is 01:31:47 If you FaceTimber, you could... I could have to drink four beers at work. I'm not FaceTiming her. I would have to stay on for 60 seconds. Yeah, 60. Or we just have a normal conversation. See, I could make up something to ask her about the game. Yeah, sure, yeah.
Starting point is 01:32:03 But I don't take this game as a... a joke real estate is life yeah exactly so it's a bit of a trapy situation so i'm going third and i'm i'm going to do it i'm spending a third time this is who we're calling it's final now it's an erika a lot of girls in your phone what was the first one no i got a bill the first time a bill a sherry and an erika okay problem being i mean i can't i can't be penalized for if erika listen to the pod later. You know what sounds good on the pod? I'm listening, but just doing this every now and again, people really feel like they're here. Yeah. Anyways, keep going. What's my penalty if I don't? If you don't call, you got to drink a beer. Probably two beers,
Starting point is 01:32:52 if you opt out, remember? Because listen, like, yeah, fair is fair. Now, if you FaceTime, Erica, and she picks up, I'm having a rough night. That's what I'm going to do. I'm face-time. I know. I'm You're not. I am. No way she picks up, right? She's going to think it's a butt thing. None, but if you FaceTime her, you know the penalty. What do you mean?
Starting point is 01:33:15 You got to drink two beers if she don't pick up. If she don't pick up, you, like, you're, that's all reward and no risk without the two beer penalty. So then I probably get a voicemail. And the 60 second voicemail is what? I'm off the hook. 60 second voicemail, you're off the hook. So you could leave her a message for 60 seconds.
Starting point is 01:33:34 And can I say that? legally we can record the voice message. Right. So, well, we can't even if she answers because Virginia, one consent,
Starting point is 01:33:42 right. One party consent state. Right. But as for leaving a voicemail, I think we'll be fine. She wouldn't press charges. Right. Now, we went to,
Starting point is 01:33:49 FYI, we went to high school with Erica. Yeah, she's great. Don't talk to her frequently, though. So this is probably a no answer call and a no answer face time.
Starting point is 01:33:58 You would hope. If she answers quick, I mean, my next call is to your lovely wife because as a friend of a, As a friend of somebody with a daughter, my allegiance. Now, can I tell her that, hey, here, I'm with Chris. We're doing the pod, just checking in.
Starting point is 01:34:17 You know, I prefer you do something less awkward without being funny. Be awkward and funny. I'm FaceTiming. God damn you. Oh my God, please, no. It's also a nurse, I believe. This was a big mistake. Yeah, you're going to be dreaming.
Starting point is 01:34:38 drinking two beers. And now, then I have to explain to Erica later. Why you try to FaceTime her. Yeah. Want to show you my kid. Oh, I thought that was a pickup for a second. Damn it. You were excited.
Starting point is 01:34:51 Yeah. So I guess it's on to Mailbag. I think it is. And we should probably get you your beers for Mailbag. You got to finish them by the end of the show. Which puts you in a real pickle. I haven't had a drink in like six. When was my wedding?
Starting point is 01:35:08 a year ago you haven't had a drink in a year i've had maybe like two glasses of wine i think they were both at your house seriously your wedding was when the last assemblies yeah assemblies was the last assembly or shit hit the fan i knew it was weird too i was taking pictures at the wedding which annoyed you but i was taking pictures of the scene and it looked people were having such a good time It looked like the roaring 40s or something. Yeah. People in suits. 20s even, yeah.
Starting point is 01:35:44 Nah, people smelled in the 20s. Everybody smelled great at this wedding. But the point is, that was it, dude. Oh, this beer tastes good, actually. Hmm. Here are two of the most famous pictures in American history, like total Americana, guy kissing girl when he gets back from the war in the street.
Starting point is 01:36:06 and when they're all in that beam and bad back backy at your wedding yeah he was in rare form all right so do you have your beer yeah cheers okay cheers
Starting point is 01:36:17 through the partition all right C block is what I have written down here let's get it aka mailbag this week people wanted us to rank stuff what do you think about that I think that's dope
Starting point is 01:36:36 where we starting uh people wanted us to rank Ryan's. Well, clarifying question, I guess. Are we talking about Ryan's R-Y-A-N, the way the name is spelled? He put Ryan R-Y-A-N slash Ryan R-Y-E-N. Okay. So I'm not going to rank Ryan R-R-Sillo. He's unranked for me. He's not receiving votes. Not even in a dual Ryan conversation. Mm-mm. Uh-uh. So rank R-Y-E-N's. Okay. Ryan Sandberg, but flip the E and the N.
Starting point is 01:37:15 Number one. End of list. All right, now do Ryan within A. Okay, you want to go like one for one or what? My favorite Ryan, weird, kind of a dearth of... Not a lot of Ryans. That you love. Well, just not a lot of famous Ryans.
Starting point is 01:37:35 I think the batting percentage on people getting famous named Ryan is pretty low. My number one overall pick would be Ryan Fitzpatrick. Ooh, that's pretty good. He's up there for me. My number one's Ryan Gosling, the Goss. Yeah, not a bad pick. I just don't have strong feelings one way or the other.
Starting point is 01:37:51 Place Beyond the Pines. I might get a dirt bike because of it. You know, drive, got an Impala because of it crashed it. Haven't seen it. I don't remember the crash. I haven't seen the movie that got the Oscar. Khan La La Land lost to Moonlight after briefly winning it. Oh, that was the like Steve Harvey, but the Oscars situation.
Starting point is 01:38:20 Yeah, I'll go Ryan Gosling one. I got Ryan Fitzpatrick 2. Okay. I went, I'm not an A Braves fan, but I went Ryan Klesko. I'll go Ryan O'Reilly three. I'm not not an A Braves fan. I'm just not like super fan 99 over here. I just Ryan Klesko grew up with the with the cat.
Starting point is 01:38:44 But you like the crime dog. Fred McGriff. Ryan Zimmerman. Yeah, that's pretty good. I had Ryan O'Reilly because he was a blues dude, legend, world champion. Ryan O'Reilly at four as well. Is he drunk or high? No, Ryan O'Reilly is a character in the TV series Oz.
Starting point is 01:39:09 So hockey Ryan O'Reilly at three. Ryan O'Reilly from Oz, inmate Ryan O'Reilly at four. And I just want to say this, Gary Burtier of Remember the Titans fame is a Ryan in real life. Wow. Yeah. I'm having trouble with thinking of other Ryans. Bro, if you look at a list of like 100 Ryans, the name Ryan, the word it's stealth. It's stealth?
Starting point is 01:39:39 You're drunk. Where's your beer? Starts to look really strange. Are you going to drink your beer? Because if you're not going to hold a beer and I'm not drinking... I'm drinking the beer. Any more beer. I'm drinking the beer.
Starting point is 01:39:51 The beer is almost halfway done. All right, I'm going to drink the second Hineken then since you're playing ball. All right, we're done with these two Hinekenes. Finish your Ticcate, sir. I am drinking it. Ryan Clark, I should mention. Oh, that's a good one. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:40:08 One of my favorite. Ryan's in the media. My favorite. Your favorite Ryan in the media is Ryan Clark. Yeah. Ryan Seacrest or Ryan Rosillo? Seacrest. Stop, dude.
Starting point is 01:40:24 Has integrity. The only reason that I didn't rank Ryan in there is he has an E, so he's disqualified. Yeah, for me, he was available and not. So he just didn't make your list period. Yeah. Strongest Ryan in the weight room. list please Ryan Reynolds you think he could outlift Ryan Rissillo oh oh oh I see uh yes very much really yeah see Ryan Rissillo people don't understand is 5 foot 4 and so you better not you can uh oh my
Starting point is 01:41:03 the muscles look big because they have nowhere to go you know 5 foot 4 yeahish yeah seem in person Slanderous, dude. Relatively tall individual. North of six. North is six, my foot. Somebody asked favorite defunct stores. Like, just anything that's gone, you miss. Goat for me as Blockbuster.
Starting point is 01:41:28 Just, just wild that you could be fined for not rewinding a film that went into your VCR. No reaction to that burp. No, that was a good burp. That was a good burp. Really good burt. but blockbuster man you go into the store you don't know if your if your film is in stock you don't know if your video games there you might be turning around what did you say vidya video game what do you say
Starting point is 01:41:55 video you don't you don't gosh that was just a that was a thrill ride man i hope four weddings and a funeral i took i took some notes i said i can feel the loose plastic in my hand oh yeah the shake So when you grab the VHS, it had like plastic around it. Yes. It was always just like a little bit loose. Yes. Yes. I can feel it, dude.
Starting point is 01:42:24 Yeah, I just remember like the satisfaction of dropping one in the bucket when you return it on time. I was like, I just did that. A lot of people would say Blockbuster, that's a negative having to return the stuff. Like physically, I say cool thing. You just brought a way back head picture to my mind that would have been gone forever. It was one of my chores, not a very taxing one, but I would have to get out of the car to go and drop. No, it was one of my jobs. So maybe I shouldn't use the word chore.
Starting point is 01:42:55 Yeah, absolutely. So what were your chores? Let's stay here for a second. Did you have chores? I don't really remember. Also, family occasion, like get everybody in the car to your point, not just to return it, but like now we'll gather around the TV and scroll through Netflix for an hour and be like yeah it's too late.
Starting point is 01:43:16 Like back in the day the whole fucking family got in the car and you went to Blockbuster and you were committed and nobody was on their phone. Oh heaven. I can feel it dude. I do miss Blockbuster. Radio Shack. Those checks. Silicon they were putting food on the table in the long household.
Starting point is 01:43:37 listen Christmases got better when Radio Shack came along like they were always great pro football but my dad made his real money like in the Radio Shack game now they weren't making the money we made dude
Starting point is 01:43:54 so it was actually like the radio hut as some people called it they brought it and they disappeared I also miss Circuit City Yes I respect I expected that store just because it was shaped like the thing.
Starting point is 01:44:14 Wasn't the entrance like a plug? It was a plug. They were the plug. That's brilliant. Toys R Us. Is gone? You should probably figure that out. As a father of a daughter? Yeah, hey, Reid, Toys R Us, gone.
Starting point is 01:44:31 In July of 2019, they had hoped to scale up to 10 locations and 10 locations by the end of 2020 No one can read shit Toadze or us is trying to scale up to 10 locations is In yes 10 locations is By 2020
Starting point is 01:44:52 What are they out now zero? I don't know that was in 2019 Why are they making this sound like they're fucking They're building the pyramid Like it's a fucking It's a warehouse With a bunch of action figures in it Like, just make it happen.
Starting point is 01:45:08 Oh, no. Confirmed actually yesterday, they closed their final two stores. Oh, wow, that was a roller coaster. Oh, no. Just a minute ago, we were scaled out. No. And now we're done. I'll be damned.
Starting point is 01:45:24 That kills me. Yeah. Where's your big box toy store? God damn, I don't know. I'm high as fuck. For an 80s kid, it's like a, fucking you you hear the theme song you see the colors that vibrant logo toys or us had a theme song yeah something about toys or us kids oh right right right right yeah yeah yeah you hear or see that
Starting point is 01:45:54 it's like fucking dope right in the veins dude the giraffe or something i thought that like when i was a kid i was like god damn i'm kind of spoiled like a lot of toys in this in this cart, looking back monetarily, six action figures once a year, it's not a big deal. Six action figures, like, flanging around in that cart. That'll be $16, ma'am.
Starting point is 01:46:23 Hey, what if I said to you, Frango Mints? No idea. Yeah, a very popular Marshall Fields. A store now out of business. It's a product or no? Oh, yeah, it's a chocolate mint, Chris. Frango Mints. You can probably still get them somewhere.
Starting point is 01:46:38 Not into chocolate, mint. You're an idiot. You're an idiot. I mean, you're an idiot. Chocolate and mint. Wouldn't even eat one now at this moment. Hold on. Oh, Nelson Aguilar is calling.
Starting point is 01:46:52 Agallor. Just pick him up? You got to go. I'll call him another time. If only he was the fucking guy we drew. Yeah, close to Berset, too. He even called me on nowhere. Maybe he's playing chat roulette
Starting point is 01:47:08 You might be Sorry Nellie He's about to get paid dude I need to call him back And ask for like a favor or something You know what I mean If I'm gonna call him back I'm gonna make something of it
Starting point is 01:47:21 So this question I'm obsessed with Best heirs Yeah I think you might wipe the floor with me here I struggled I can't wait to see what you've come up with you can't think of an air that you like i can all right why don't you go first uh a sauna in a private residence don't laugh so you open the door and you get that wood smell pop and the air is warm as hell and you're having a great time you sweat it out it's a it's a fun scene that's a great air pal right in the
Starting point is 01:47:59 kisser that's right now going to a gym a little bit different totally different you're like breathing in people's like strangers sweat. Genitalia sweat, yeah. Genitalia sweat. Yeah. Like it smells like the pool when you were a kid, but adults at the pool. Right.
Starting point is 01:48:18 Think about how uncool that is. Yeah, sauna air, I'm, wasn't on my list, but interesting. You know, maybe you're cold. Maybe you are. Walk in there. Hell of a time. All right, what do you got?
Starting point is 01:48:30 There's no list? Oh, you want a list. Yeah, keep going. I'm gonna go down from 10 to 1. to one. I got 10 of them. Jesus. So you better get going on your list. Beach air. You go to a beach.
Starting point is 01:48:43 Universal. Mountain top air. So you go to a mountain. Yeah, let's say you do. Then you're at the top of it real fresh. And then I had worst air. Is that blower they put on you when you enter a store? Oh, that's a terrible air. It messes up your hair.
Starting point is 01:49:03 With you with your lettuce. Awful. and then they're spraying your gums these days with something just a little bit of air but it can hurt like hell
Starting point is 01:49:16 if you got a problem oh yeah so top airs sauna air beach air yeah mountain top air hard to argue with those thank you
Starting point is 01:49:27 except for the sauna maybe of all the airs in the world you're about to hear why but it's a good thick you know No, it's actually dry, so it's thin and hot. You want something that's thick and hot? You do some Virginia midsummer blacktop air.
Starting point is 01:49:50 Post rain. That'll be on my list in a second here. I'll start at 10. You think I could head out or? Yeah, at about five. Ten. You haven't been here in a while, man. I'm excited to have you back.
Starting point is 01:50:07 Yeah, promise my lovely wife some supper, but yeah, no. Let's go. Super. I mean, the job is done. Afraid not. Number 10. Told us at the hospital about raising the child. They don't tell you much about that.
Starting point is 01:50:23 That's true. They just are like. They were terrific though. But you walk, they're like, all right, have a great day. And you're like, take care of yourself. You go out the door and you're like, take care. Like, what do we do with the baby? Right.
Starting point is 01:50:34 10. Ice cream air. leaning in baskins and robins baskins and robins uh huh yeah fucking uh are you talking about the store it does have a different yeah that that that cold air coming off the it's like a cold front coming from uh deliciousville
Starting point is 01:50:54 coming in from deliciousville you you paint a pretty picture my friend hey is that beard on yeah yeah go get another one go get another one my foot yeah because you FaceTime dude Oh shit. You didn't know the rules? I got here at 3 o'clock in the afternoon. Yeah, dude, it's good to see you again. I'm good with the one read.
Starting point is 01:51:17 Thank you. Cheater. Number nine. Blow dryer air. Oh. What? I don't blow dry. I don't blow dry either.
Starting point is 01:51:29 But sometimes my wife's blow drying. She's lovely. Walk by. You feel the air. And you're like, that looks nice. And then you think maybe I could air dry, you know? Your person. Yeah, it should dry your person without the fucking towels, dude.
Starting point is 01:51:47 Be good for the environment. If I... Be good for the environment, huh? Yeah. Huh. Yeah. Huh. Less water.
Starting point is 01:51:55 I'm a water guy, washing machines. Dryers. If you had one vent in your house to straddle, or maybe it's on the wall, like you just fucking walk over it and it's like giant you're thinking of a fan no fans aren't hot dude you're thinking of like a hot fan
Starting point is 01:52:19 have you ever used a I mean I haven't used one um they used one at a salon once it also felt good there you know it feels great at a salon when you get a proper haircut blow dry the fucking shampoo I know you've had sex
Starting point is 01:52:35 shampoo might be better at the fucking you know like Now I know why women are going to salons. That feels remarkable. You put your head back in that bowl with the, now anybody listens to. With the drain. Oh my God, dude.
Starting point is 01:52:52 It's like the water's so hot. Your hair is voluminous. Yeah, you want to, you might go get your hair done tomorrow. Nah, but what you're saying isn't wrong. It's not wrong. What else I'm saying isn't wrong is blow dryer air.
Starting point is 01:53:08 It's fucking top notch. I am amazed that we are only at number nine. Hard to argue with 10 and 9 though, right? No, I'm not a bit blow dry or probably bad for the environment, actually. No, not really. If it's a 15 second giant vent, 15 seconds, and then you're dry. You know how many towel loads you got to do? I use the same towel for a while.
Starting point is 01:53:37 I do too. Wait, not. Now you've got more people using tech. Cous fucking Arthur Smith's household went through 40 towels a week. He had 11 kids in that house. You want to skip down to like maybe number three? Number eight, winter outside of a bar air when you're kind of drunk. Like you step outside, get a little air for big dudes who have been sweating it out in a tight Irish bar.
Starting point is 01:54:10 Sweating? Yeah, if it's like 1 a.m. and everybody's like dancing. Yeah. When are you dancing and sweating at a bar? Back in my 20s, like, you know, when I was in college and whatnot, that was a great air. We danced at bars in college? Mellow Mushroom got...
Starting point is 01:54:28 Oh, yeah. Mellow Mushroom got heafy, dude. They removed the tables. Exactly, dude. You walk outside Mellow Mushroom, it's 38 degrees. It hits you like, you know, it feels like walking into a spa or something. you feel refreshed. Great.
Starting point is 01:54:44 Okay, number seven, casino air. Oh. Hear me out. It's more on here because it's impressive. Okay. They actually, you know, they pump air in. I do. Keep you awake.
Starting point is 01:54:57 Keep you awake. Keep you going. Keep you losing. Now you're in it. So, um, fake up like three units, yeah. When you're in Las Vegas, you could be inside for three days. straight okay you could be dining next to a waterfall at the wind you could be
Starting point is 01:55:18 walking through the flower garden at the wind waterfall indoor okay flower garden indoor you go to the Venetian you're looking at a fucking ceiling and it looks like you're you're on a boat like rolling through Venice you're all inside for three days straight the only time you're outside is like the five minutes you're waiting for a cab it's amazing air how do they pull that off Number six. Beer fridge air. Yeah, that's a good air.
Starting point is 01:55:47 You like that air? No. It's like walking into a cryo chamber. You know what cryo chambers are? Yes. Just as effective, I think, probably. I would put that at six, and I love the options, you know, like all the beers. Five, nighttime beach airport.
Starting point is 01:56:10 I take the airport. He's totally. out of this. No, I'm all the way in. Nighttime Beach Airport. You know, like right when you walk into the jet bridge and you feel the hot air hit you, you get some airport smell. Say you're down in Miami, seven cities. Yeah, I think you're probably in Fort Lauderdale at that point. Yeah, whatever it is. But you, you've probably been some more cold. It's even better, the thrill of feeling it at once, like the palm trees and the wind outside the airport. Like, you're in the wind outside the airport. Like that's the vibe that no, you're going to go to your hotel, get a good night's sleep or go out and get fucked up.
Starting point is 01:56:47 And then in the morning wake up and you, then you get the beach air. It's like foreplay for beach air. Fair. Yeah, it's really fair. And it's five. Top five air. Four, fireside air. Oh, okay.
Starting point is 01:57:01 But that's a dangerous one. Because if you're right in line of smoke, you're smoky for days. Just got to know, get another angles. All about angles. And then. I actually would like to propose a cologne that smells like your clothes after you've been by a fire.
Starting point is 01:57:20 Oh, no, thank you. That's a quick laundry. Really? Yeah, they're smoky. If I fucking sit by a fire with my, like, hoodie on, I don't wash it for a while. Man. Huh.
Starting point is 01:57:34 You really don't like that, huh? I don't think so. But have me over for a fire page soon. After the hot tub? Yeah. Three, fall crisp. Great air. Okay, but you omitted it.
Starting point is 01:57:48 Oh, I'm sorry, Chris. I'm the father of the daughter. I'm doing single family homes. Okay. Things weren't clicking with me with the airs. Chris Fall Air. Hell, yeah. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:58:01 I feel great in the morning in the fall. Never knew what that was about until recently. Number two, mountain air. You mentioned it off a plane. Get off a plane, the northwest. summer you've been under that hot blanket that is like the mid-atlantic you can just smell it number one i mentioned earlier black top post-rain virginia air the best air out there don't know why it's hard to explain i don't know if it works the same in other states in this state that's number one get a little
Starting point is 01:58:36 get a little coming up off yep got your puddles yeah you got your puddles warm Yep, I see it. Low cloud cover. Last question, and this was actually very organic, tips for meeting your girlfriend's dad. This came in this week, and so, I mean, since you are the father of a daughter. Right. Weird for me to think about it that way.
Starting point is 01:59:00 I'm going to think about it as if I'm the... The boy. The suitor. The boy. Yeah. Because, you know, it's like high school, maybe fresh out of college stuff. I'd number first and foremost I'd take a page out of um Matt Nagy's flip card of folly and be you
Starting point is 01:59:19 okay okay because you don't want to have to keep up some facade facade the rest of your life if this goes right facade uh say less yeah say less but not too much less right you don't want to be you don't want to give off the like You know. Be a part of things. Be, be a part of things, but say less. I mean, hold doors, say stuff like after you. I mean, that's easy stuff. Just be polite. Be a gentleman. Absolutely. Low key, one of the most polite people of all time, you. Oh, thank you. Yeah. Thank you for saying that. Yeah. If potential father-in-law invites you to do something, anything. You got to do it. It's a yes. What's the first thing he's going to invite you to do? Go outside somehow. Yeah, maybe you have a beer.
Starting point is 02:00:09 depending on your age. Hey, can you help me move something? Help me in the garage. I say handshake. Don't fuck up the handshake. Well, this is PC. So how do you mess up the handshake? What would be a bad way to shake a hand the first time?
Starting point is 02:00:25 Loose. Loose, but not too tight. Don't try to win the, don't be the guy that, like, listen. Dead giveaway. Dead giveaway. You're a phony. If you try to, nice to see you,
Starting point is 02:00:38 and then you try to turn. the hand. You've clearly just googled how to meet your girlfriend's dad. Exactly. And then also don't do the shake back and forth. Oh, the Donald Trump. Don't do the Trump thing. Don't do that. And park in the street. Like, don't take a spot in the parking lot. Use your judgment. There are lots of different parking situations. And then how would you knock? Well, I'm with, I'm with the girlfriend. Yeah. I'm letting her. No, no, no, no. you're there to pick her up. Okay, it's a knock knock.
Starting point is 02:01:17 Oh. That's kind of aggressive. Yeah, that's aggressive. Yeah, I would really advise a, oh no, that's like who this guy thinks he's hot shit. Hell no, stay away from my daughter. I respect that a little bit. Just pounding a, no, I think I'm, I think I'm,
Starting point is 02:01:40 I think I'm just three. You're a three? Yeah, I'm easier to. You're two knocks. Yeah. Just like that. That's perfect. Yeah, I'm a two.
Starting point is 02:01:51 I'm a two. I'm three. Maybe throw that up on a pole. Okay, so how about he's testing you and he can't hear you? Or maybe he's trying to fuck with you. How long are you going to stand there before you raise the volume of your knock? Well, I just had this other day with the H-FAC folks. I had to give in,
Starting point is 02:02:09 coming! Because the dude was like, you waited four seconds before the second round of knock. Yes, that is just... Like, bro. Abnoxious. I've got a daughter for whom I am the father in my hands. Give me a second. I'm looking at a clock here, waiting, waiting, waiting.
Starting point is 02:02:29 It's probably... I'm going to know about 25 seconds. Oh, no, that's too many. I would say... Too many. Yeah, 20 seconds. I don't know, the two's kind of like serial killer. Give it a real shot, though.
Starting point is 02:02:40 Like a sturdy, strong two knocks. I'm asking you two, like, presently. There you go. That's all you need. That's like somebody coming to kill you. That's like this. That is how you knock. Your second one was louder.
Starting point is 02:02:57 You know what I'm saying? Like any two knock to me is like guy dressed up as a UPS guy who's going to strangle me. Or like, hey, can I take, can I take a look around? Like that whole, that guy. The three doesn't offend me. The three's fine. Maybe you should consider transitioning to the three because the only guys that knocked twice or the dumb and dumber thug guy.
Starting point is 02:03:22 Nah, no, no, nah, nah. Him and that little girl. Again, less is more to knock. Knock, knock, knock. No, knock, knock is I'm going to fucking kill you. No, hey. No, dude. Yeah. Okay.
Starting point is 02:03:37 I'm just okay. Yeah, so that's the end of the podcast. Awesome. Y'all take care. All right, dad. See you.

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