Green Light with Chris Long - Mark Sanchez! On Carson and Nick, Rookie Quarterback Updates & Fox Broadcasting Gig. Green Light Olympic Medals. Lox VERZUZ Dipset Review with Dr. 'Fax.'

Episode Date: August 6, 2021

(01:51) - Hello, Layup Line and Toll Free Calls. (17:04) - Housekeeping: Fantasy Football Drafts and Cartersville Council Meeting. (24:33) - Breaking News. (27:40) - HOF Game and 2020 and 2021 HOF Induction Ceremonies. (52:00) - Mark Sanchez on Fox Broadcasting Gig, Winning Over Vets as Rookie QB, Memories from Hard Knocks and Training Camp and NFL QB Updates. (1:31:17) - Good, Bad, Ugly. (1:57:16) - Green Light Olympic Minute and Medal Awards. (2:10:21) - Chris, Macon and Dr. 'Fax' on Lox VERZUZ Dipset. Green Light Spotify Music: https://open.spotify.com/user/951jyryv2nu6l4iqz9p81him9?si=17c560d10ff04a9b Spotify Layup Line: https://open.spotify.com/playlist/1olmCMKGMEyWwOKaT1Aah3?si=675d445ddb824c42 Green Light with Chris Long: Subscribe and enjoy weekly content including podcasts, documentaries, live chats, celebrity interviews and more including hot news items, trending discussions from the NFL, MLB, NHL, NBA, NCAA are just a small part of what we will be sharing with you. http://bit.ly/chalknetwork Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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download the win bet app now or visit w y nbett.com download bet win and let's get after it terms and conditions apply must be 21 or older and present in state where win bet is available gambling problem call 1-800 270 7117 so squant is are we done with that okay we're done with squantch okay we're done with mark sanchis It's not even how you say it's squanced, squashed. We know, dude. Hey, he's in booth mode. Ever since we got on the Zoom with him, he's like very dignified. He's different since he's booth man.

He's changed. What up, big boy. We missed you. What's up? I miss you guys. Thanks, guys. It's good to be back. Yeah, welcome back.

About a week earlier than I reckon any of us wanted to see you. You guys, I really hate forest fires. like I'm a touch south of Smokey the Bears resentment of forest fires but we really hate forest fires yeah it's like the feeling when my dad used to come home you know like after a weekend uh out west doing fox games I was like all the fun police is home yep fun police you guys have just been doing all types of shit in here huh including not being here which has been great but here we are read has Reed has a beard. You didn't tell me that.

Reed didn't warn me about that. He just walked up the stairs and he didn't have a mustache. He had a beard. Well, you can grow that bad boy in about three days, so. What, a mustache? Beard. Oh, I was gonna say. I was like, it's already on his face.

You see, I got a little growth? Yeah, you do have a little growth. You also have a little growth in general. Look a little fuller over here, huh? Are you on, uh, are you on something? Hey, the amount of days I've missed 100 push-ups. Yeah. Since my birthday, which is...

Uh, July 9th. Very good. I can count on one hand. Like, I've been cranking them. I've been cranking them. And the weight bench is set up. So you've missed five days. I can count them on, yeah, less than five days, five or fewer.

So thank you. Thanks for recognizing. Yeah. You do look great, though. And health update, just for the partakers out there, I'm quitting smoking cones. So this ashtray here that's filled with roaches. Oh, my God. We, no, and there's no we about it.

It's like a sand pit. Dr. Fax has been here. Oh, it was Dr. Fax, too. Yeah, I'm seeing the little white owls too. So he's been polluting my ashtray with white owls. Fucking guy, we're going to talk about Dr. Fax's going to be in later, talk about the verses the other night, which obviously you saw. Yeah, I've written down here in my show notes.

I'm a big show prep guy. C block, Dr. Fax, no idea what Chris is talking about. Yeah, it's a versus. It was the locks and dead. set so I'm sure you'll stick around for that but you know Dr. Fax the other night sent me his setup for the verses it looked like he was in college not to narc him but he had what looked like about a weed and a huge bottle of sarac and like some keef just like he was ready for the versus like nobody in America and I can't wait to have him on later I'm quitting cones because

I'm afraid of forest fires good for you every time I go out and smoke a cone in Montana I had to like go out on a boat to do it. But then you got to worry about the engine blowing up if a spark. You know what I mean? There's just fire. I really don't know what you mean. If you smoke a cone, then you got to dump it onto earth. Well, no, it's just like if a spark or, you know, like a, you know, your, your ash just is a little, yeah, the ember can start the whole thing.

Like forest fires right now are, they're a scary thing because of the whole climate change thing. But also, I waste a lot of weed, you know, doing that. It's not as efficient and I guess most importantly really bad for your lungs. So I'm now a bong guy. So I don't know if we can call this Studio J. I'm going to go back and try the bong thing. I know I went on PMT earlier this year and I said that I don't smoke bongs. And I kind of made light of people that smoke bongs.

But it wasn't born out of a, you know, like a disdain. It was born out of like, listen, how do you guys do that? They're breakable. They're, you know, there's a little maintenance involved. There's water. I have kids. They pick up that bong. They might shatter it.

They're closer to smoking from a bong than you should be. Who are the kids? Yeah. No, that's not the case. Like 16-year-old. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. That's the way I associated, like, bong smoking with was like it was something we did when we were younger and we did.

And then, like, eventually, I just, I wanted, I made the switch. And so now I'm going back for my health and for the health of Mother Earth. So I don't know if we can call this studio, Jay. But a joint, a joint. Joint and a cone are slightly different, but it's kind of the same thing. I'd rather not rename the studio third time. You want to call it Studio Bong? Nah.

Studio Bong doesn't have the same ring to it? It doesn't. It really doesn't. So if you see me smoking a cone in here, there should be a penalty because I probably will from time to time. Okay. And I really don't know what that is, though. Is that the volcano thing?

No, that's the thing where it smells and there's smoke and it's like a marijuana cigarette. Yeah. If anyone ever doubted that I don't smoke, I really don't smoke. Toll free call coming in. Fucking toll free call. Pick it up. I'm on the pod. Making Gunner. This is Sydney calling you from AT&T DirecTV. How are you doing today?

Doing fine, Sydney. How are you? Glad to hear that. Well, DirecTV is offering 50% discount to all of its existing customers. Do you a minute to speak? Ask if they have... Prong. Yes, I can speak. I have nothing going on right now. Sydney? She's playing music. So just to make sure I'm speaking to the account holder, may I please verify your four-digit AT&T passcode?

Sure. Please, go ahead. She's good. I hate to break it to you, Sydney. I don't have an account with a... Thanks for your time. Have a nice day. Oh, take care.

Okay. That was rude. Damn. I was ready to buy some direct TV. People think these robots are going to do all types of great things in the future. Like, you see how short her temper was? Like I was ready to sign up. She hung up on you.

I should have guessed a four-digit code that they don't have. I read about something called like Robot Island in Russia right now. I don't know if Taylor's nod on his head back there. It's terrifying. They're making these, what's they're calling a droid island? That's called Cyborg Island. What was the movie, Ex Machina? Have you seen that movie?

No. Terrific movie. But evidently they're making a ballerite. bunch of those types of things over there. So the end is near. If forest fires don't get us, it'll be the robots. Friendly reminder.

Hey, people are saying I won the draft the other day, the name draft. I said it on the show that you won the draft. I just say that so. Yeah, that's great. It's good to win something, I guess. People,

I don't win a lot anymore. People have heard of the football players, crunchy ass cowboy and I selected. Okay. If you want to pander and pick Dick Nutter and happy bitch, and whoever else you picked. Like, have fun.

Listen, man, I left out Dick Buckus, dude. I know, I saw that. We were going from a, like, a 90% list. I was trying to be, I left out Dick Knight Train Lane. Yeah. You know how many, like, you have any lines you have if you're Dick Knight Train Lane at a bar in 1936? Yeah, but you can't call yourself by your own nickname. Oh, when you're Dick Knight Train Lane, you can.

Who are you saying hello to? Nashua, New Hampshire. Hello! Hi. Never been to New Hampshire. One of the few states I haven't been to. How many states have you not set foot in? It's probably about 10.

Ooh, 10. 10. Maybe 10 to 15. I'm going to pause for a second and try to count. Can you all name the states you haven't been to? That's what I'm trying to. I'm trying to figure that out right now. Cowboy, how many states have you not been to?

Two. Golly, cowboy. Really? Crunchy ass. Let's guess the two states. I'm guessing Hawaii? Yeah.

And Alaska. Yeah, they're the easy ones. That's it? Yeah. You've traveled the whole continental United States? I've been to the other 48. Been to the highest point, the lowest point. When I went to college, I got dropped off.

And the next day, my parents and my brother flew to Alaska. So I could have had 49, but I went to. college instead. How's that working out? I mean, I don't know if I needed a degree to get this job, but. Dude, how about Cowboy Reed? He's been to more states than us. I would have, I would have been on that.

Although I'm not positive. I've been to Washington. I've been to Oregon. I've been to Cali, Nevada, Idaho, Utah, Arizona, California, Montana, Wyoming, Colorado, New Mexico, Texas, Oklahoma, Kansas. I've been to Kansas. I spent the night in Manhattan, Kansas.

little apple got drunk and slept on Olu Hall's couch and then I helped the D-line learn how to pass rush down there for Ron Prince. I don't know that I've been to South Dakota or North Dakota. Never got the invite from Carson. Bad teammate? Question mark. I've never been to Montana. Bad friend.

Question mark? Oh, you've been invited. Let's not lie right now. The invitation has been, you should really come out sometime. You love to be chased. You should really come out sometimes. Is that an invitation? I'm going to call you Rabbit.

I get an invitation has like a question mark on the end of it. Would you come out to Montana? Yeah. Would you come out and see me? Right, but that's not what's been said. You should really come out. Okay, when? Taylor's head is like sideways right now looking at you.

You really like to be chased. Yeah, I've been, I've been, I guess the Dakotas. That's the missing piece for us. We should go to, what are the states for you that you haven't been to? Well, this is going to be difficult, but I guess New Hampshire, I would add Vermont, New Hampshire, and Maine. Holy shit. Oh, I've been to Maine. I've been to the hell out of Maine.

I've not been to Vermont or New Hampshire or the Dakotas or Washington State actually. I've been to Alaska. I've not been to Alaska. I've not been to Hawaii. I've not been to Arizona or New Mexico. I might be, oh, well, Phoenix Airport. I might be closer to 50. You can't count it. You can't count an airport. Okay, that's fair.

Have I been to Alabama? I've been to Alabama. I have been to Alabama. Okay. Well, we'll work on that. Hello and Nashville. One letter away from Nassau. Sort of.

Exactly. One letter away from Nassau, Bahamas. Yeah, but then you got to switch the A and the U. Oh, yeah. But you're not wrong technically. I'm not wrong technically. Yeah. But that's never stopped you.

Nashua, New Hampshire, one of the branches of Dunder Mifflin. Oh. Oh, yeah. Yeah. Good poll. Holly gets transferred to Nashua. Michael really liked her. Yeah, he really did.

Hopefully he still does. That's right, cowboy. That's a nice thought. It's a nice thought for the people. Lay up line. Miss you by the Rolling Stones. Because I was listening to this morning, and at that point I didn't know if the feelings were reciprocal,

but I miss you, man. Thanks. I have a card in my briefcase here spelling out the exact dates where I will be gone and on vacation just so you have it. A card in your briefcase? Yeah, I've got a card in my briefcase. Just carry a card around? I have note cards. I have index cards.

They come in handy sometimes. And I've written out the dates I'll be gone just so you have it in multiple different places. Point being, where are you going to put this card? It's in your briefcase. I'm going to put it in your office. Okay. I could have done some more locks, but they've been dominating the layup line lately,

and we are going to talk to Dr. Fax lately. So, yeah, I miss Studio J, Studio Bong, whatever you want to call it, Flavor Station. Today is a Squanch pod. Squange. For those unfamiliar, his name's Mark Sanchez. Heisman trophy winner.

And the nickname, whoever came up with the nickname, it was intended to be squantch, but not in this studio. he is squanch. Boy, I bet he's sorry he answered a stupid-ass question about like, I don't even know what, I don't even know if we asked. I don't remember

the origin. And when you and I talk sincerely about the guy, we call him squant. We don't say Mark Sanchez. 100% of the time. There's a lot of quarterback stuff going on. There's always a lot of quarterback stuff going on and quite frankly, I haven't been following it. I'm turning on my NFL brain today. We are not

one of those podcasts again that does this all year. And I'm not going to be one of those guys that says, only one more Sunday, to football. Well, we're already there, dog. By the time you're listening

to this, there's been a ball game. There's been a real ball game. If you want to call it, that it's the Hall of Fame game. Tonight, we'll talk about that in a little bit. Squanch joining NFL and Fox.

It's going to be my dad's coworker, so I got to be nice to him. Any hazing in Fox? I hope dad just, like, stuffs him in a locker. I hope, like,

Joe Buck makes him eat hot sauce and shit like that. Put him in a, room blindfolded with a bunch of static blaring. You come out of the room when we tell you it's six hours later. Sensory deprivation. Squantch is now one of the crew. Nude.

He's nude in that static room. I mean, it's not like he hasn't been nude before. Every fucking magazine I see squanch on these guys shirt off. I want to see Terry Bradshaw just waterboard squandch. You can't say that. But it's a joke. We're all joking. It's a joke.

It's a fucking joke. You see it movies all the time. You guys will pay $18 to watch a movie that's almost entirely about waterboarding. Now these spy movies. But like I say one thing on a podcast and you're sitting there like I'm going to fucking call the guardian, have them write an article about me. I'm sorry. I'm my own boss. Yeah.

Can't wait to have squant Sean. Kurt Menifee is going to send them to a mixer at Pi-Fi. Make them drink milk in the basement. Just drink gallons of milk. You know, they really do that shit. So I hear. Like, these frats are out of control. No doubt about that.

What you're doing in that scenario is you're paying for some friendships. But what I want to tell you here and everybody else is that, that they're worth it. Some of the best friends I have. Were you in a frat? Yeah. What was the name of it? I'm not saying.

Damn. So you're like super, you're like Mr. Private. You're Mr. Mystique. Yeah. It's like a secret society. Oh, yeah. Well,

I mean, most people know you're in it, but they just don't know which one. But I'm not about, I'm not about the culture. Not any of it. Oh, okay. What I came away with,

the friendships, dope as hell. Yeah. But, gross. The culture. Yeah. Yeah.

Well, squants are going to fit right in, NFL on Fox. Housekeeping today. I want to shout out my buddy, Ben James. Stones Throw Hash is now at Whole Foods. Yeah. My dog started with, yeah, he just slinging hash. We've been camping.

One of my best friends in the world. Fucking, we go camping for years now. And you're welcome to come anytime. Has he been out to Montana? Yeah. Will you come camping? So he has been to Montana. come camping with us?

No. Okay. We've been going camping for years and Ben would always supply the hash. He would cook breakfast in the morning. He was always a big like, you know, campground cook and he's profiting off it. So shout out to Ben. Go check out Stone's throw hash. It's, uh, it's in a refrigerator near you.

It's delicious. And a shout out to Mayor Matt Santini. This tweet just in. First city council meeting since being named quote first mayor of Greenlight podcast. by Chalk Network, Seelong, and myself. We have your spots reserved.

Come on down and get your proclamation. There are two seats in this city council meeting. I don't even know how to describe these bad boys. I'm going to retweet the hell out of this. So check out Twitter. But this is, I don't know how you describe that. That's the greatest honor in my life.

There's like a placard there with two seats. And they have our names on them. And they're Cartersville. Everybody's going to be like, who the fuck is that, Mr. Mayor? I mean, you're like Walter Payton Man of the Year and Super Bowl champ and I've got a seat at the Cartersville, Georgia City Council meeting.

Yeah, but so do I. Yeah, yeah, yeah, happy to have you along for the ride, bud. I'm just saying this is like my top honor. Thank you, Matt. That's awesome. Matt, you're the man, dude. Now we're going to come down there and show up and y'all are going to be talking about something serious and we're going to be like, how about that?

big ass key that you owe us I would like to get in to the Parks and Rec facility Domino's Pizza any time of night giant key I'm gonna call you at 3 a.m. The key's not working

they have like a keypad here what do I do? The laundromat I'd like to see some machines running I just want to run them all the same time for the fuck of it Carter'sville GA

the sister city the green light pop yeah sister city of studio uh work in progress also fantasy football picks we get to pick somebody's draft we get to pick the order of somebody's draft today which is like there's a few privileges in life like fatherhood and then like picking somebody the order of somebody's fantasy football draft like that in that order is this going to be all you or can I participate participate we're going to work together on this i want you to write these names down or do them you got them you got them okay Caleb sent me this Caleb with a kay and he i got to hand it to Caleb and his friends i got some weird fucking names okay we'd start with an adam okay then we then we go we got a bailey then we got a camp then we have a damon i haven't heard i haven't met a damon

in years. Have you met a Damon in years? It's been a while. Damon. Hey, I'm Damon. I don't know that I have met a Damon. Unless you've met Damon Stademeyer, I don't think anybody's met a Damon.

Damon Wayans. What if this is Damon Wayans? It could be Damon Wayans in the fantasy football league here, but I don't see Damon Wayans is hanging out with a Caleb with a K. It's fair. Lloyd.

There's a trip. You know Tripp is cool. You know Tripp is positive. You know he's just the smiley guy. I think Tripp can go one of two ways because Tripp could be the third. He could be like Edward Longfellow, Chesterfield, the third. We'll call him Tripp. Yeah, but Tripp could also be just a chill dude.

For sure. He could be a scratch golfer. Camp cookout guy. Yeah, just like a good guy to have around. There's a Truman. There is a Truman. There's a Witt, which is relatively normal here, but it's still like a different name.

And then, you know, William, Adam and a William, what are you doing in this fucking league, man? Anyways, let's pick the order here. We got Adam, Bailey, Camp, Damon, Caleb, Lloyd, Tripp, Truman, Witt, and William. How do we want to set the order? Is it just like? I think you go. Whose names we like the best?

Oh, not necessarily. I think, I think a certain name is of five in a draft, and a certain name is a 10 in the draft. This is not, I think, names would like that. Yeah, right, right, right. I'm going to give Damon the first pick. Okay. Because it's just, he's the only one on the planet.

Okay. Sweet. With the two pick, I'm going to give it to Lloyd because the guy's name's Lloyd and that's awesome. You don't know Lloyd Banks. It's the only Lloyd I know. And then Lloyd from Dumb and Dumber. Right.

Lloyd Banks just had an album come out recently. I'm sure you picked that one up. Yeah. All right. I'll go third. Truman, because I love the movie The Truman Show. Four, because you wouldn't, you wouldn't slot this guy anywhere but the bottom, and he deserves the four spot. William, William's the four pick. Okay, nice.

Let's go with Camp. Yep, Camp's totally a five pick. Yeah. Easily. Six, six, six, six belongs to Tripp. Nice. Trip, could have gone earlier. Let's round out the back half of this draft here. I'll go Adam.

Okay, Adam at seven. I'm putting Witt at eight. I'm going William at nine. Well, unfortunately he's already four. Fuck, there's only one guy left, huh? No, I think you got Bailey? Is Bailey at nine? Yeah, let's do a Bailey. Okay. And that means Caleb's 10. But there's a good thing about picking 10.

No doubt about it. So we're looking out for our man, Caleb, who sent us in the names here. might recall a couple years back, a couple years back or a year back, I don't know, when we had Dan Katz pick our order, not unlike this. That's true. He put Macon at 10, dead last. Yeah. Well, that pick comes right back around and I won the league. We should have a celebrity pick our league this year. Yeah, real one. Yeah, real one. Yeah. Not like Dan Katz. Okay. We'll get somebody on cameo to pick our shit here. Good idea. Good idea. All right, cool. Hope you followed that. Hope we got all 10 names. Also, chickens are coming home to roost here. I got it to the waffle.

house soon. Yeah. Yeah, that's going to be a motherfucker. I got to spend 24 hours or less in a waffle house and going to do a pod from there, just a reminder. I won't be in town, but that's part of me winning, you know? I don't need to be a part of it. That's true. This is your cross to bear. That's true. That's true. Okay. Where does that saying come from? Jesus? Geez, that's, are you comparing me to Jesus?

This is your syrup to This is your hash brown to true waffle to eat bro yeah you're right and I'm gonna eat them 12 of them be out of there in 12 hours just a day at work somebody just morse-coated in with some Kirk Cousins quotes

this is Kevin Seifert from ESPN Kirk Cousin said today he is quote at peace with his vaccination decision and pledged to be quote vigilant with protocols for unvaccinated players no sign he is reconsidering despite missing four practices

as a high risk close contact. Cousins said the issue with his exposure to Kellyn-Mond was that the QB room was too small. I am checking with the NFL to see if that could be the case. Vikings QBs have changed meeting rooms and Cousins thinks that has eliminated that particular risk. Cousins said he has thought about surrounding himself with plexiglass in the quarterback room. He was asked why he would go to such lengths when a vaccine would be far more effective and efficient. he said the decision is personal and private. Man, oh man, dude.

Surrounding himself with plexiglass in the quarterback room. Like he's a fucking wax figure at a museum. Like I would say to each his own. And I want to respect people's personal. Do you want to make like weird, dumb decisions? Like totally your call. Yeah, the unfortunate part is. Public health.

Yeah, that's the, yeah. When we're sitting at about 57%ish of eligible Americans being vaccinated, fully vaccinated. Well, buy stock in Plexiglass. A lot of these fucking... That or Kellamond. Kelle Monde might be your QB1 before long. Well, you know, Kellerman, he gets the ride on the plane.

He gets to eat with you. You know, like you talk about, we're going to ask Squanch about this. like how that works if you can't be around your teammates and that sort of thing. Not that he's been through anything like that, but. Killing Mond is also not vaccinated. Oh, okay. So we're going to have two booths, which also goes to show that you can't assume much about anybody.

Like, you know, it's just, I feel like we've gotten this thing where we try to peg who's vaccinated, who's not. There's all types of people taking the quote unquote blue pill. That's right. red pill? Which one is the stupid pill? Clearly the ones were taken. Nate Stanley, next man up in the quarterback room. He's a 23-year-old

quarterback out of Iowa, seventh round pick in 2020. You were Minnesota Vikings. Green Bay is one in that division anyways. Hey, Ben, can you get out of your break a little quicker? Huh? I can't hear you.

You're breaking I would just tap on the glass Like the guy in Dumb and Dumber At the phone booth I can't hear you I can't hear you Just fucking punch through the glass Either plexiglass

It doesn't work that way But So before Squange comes on Hall of Fame game tonight Steelers Cowboys your last night Our tonight I'm gonna go ahead

And place a big ass bet You want to set the table For this game real quick make Sure Pittsburgh Steelers are favored by Well, Taylor's got the lines Taylor, you want to read us the lines here? Lines brought to you by Winbet.

Steelers on the spread minus two points and minus 110 are the odds. Money line Steelers minus 135. You want to go on the over under, the over is 31 and a half. I'm going to take the under. I'm betting the under out of the gate here. Good idea.

Yeah, I'm feeling like, you know, people say life's too short to bet the under. I say life is perfect to bet the under. under. That's what I say. It's just the right amount of time. It's just the right amount of time to bet the under. I'm slamming the over. You're slamming the over. Wow. Slamming it. Speaking of that game, when you use the word slam, it reminded me of a quote I heard earlier this week. This was a Mike McCarthy quote, and I'll get there. It involves a player that is on one of these two teams. Mike McCarthy talking about Dak Prescott's injury last year. Did you hear this soundbite?

I walked up on him when he was down on the field and I don't think I've seen anything exactly like it. He was trying to put his ankle back together right there on the field. It was almost, this isn't quite the right word, but it was almost barbaric. Dax said, maybe if I slammed it into place was the quote.

I mean like, holy shit, your move hockey. Just a sidebar there. I didn't know if you had heard that. I hadn't. You know where we did our combine? Yeah, I remember that way back. This part of my finger, that would be the tip. Yeah.

Was under this once upon a time due to a freak injury, play at the plate. And I had to yank something back into place. I had a yank, but that's a different family from a slam. A yank is not a slam. It's close. No, a yank is way different than an ankle slam. I mean, yeah, your move hockey. But Dax's not playing in this game tonight.

we're going to get a whole lot of shitty quarterback play. Oh, careful. Why? We got a couple of Dukes back there. Big careful. Oh, yeah. Well, listen, it's just Canton. So, like, I don't care if you got Peyton Manning and fucking Tom Brady, and this is not a save.

It's not going to be as pretty as it's going to be week one or two or three. And I'm joining you. They just started training camp. This is the thing about this Hall of Fame game, and I said this earlier. I had to plan it one time. we all looked on the schedule and said, fuck, this is not a reflection

of how cool I think the Hall of Fame thing is. The Hall of Fame thing is so cool. It's one of the purest things in sports. I mean, you know, I'm sure T.O. would say differently. I mean, we know there are issues with the voting process,

but the tradition of the guys being up there on stage, everybody wearing the jacket, it's that whole thing, being on the field to be recognized. That's great. But the game, like, we just started playing football seven days ago.

And two unlucky teams have to play five preseason games. I mean, when we ended up on schedule to play, I think it was the Browns in 2011, the lockout happened, and I was ecstatic about that. I'd just admit it. Not only did we get a shortened camp, but it was the one year I had to go play on that turf in Canton four days after I checked into my hotel. So, yeah, players probably don't love playing in it, but that's a cool place. It is. Now, shout out to Ben Danucci. He lost me a lot of money. last year. It was the Steelers and the Cowboys, I believe it was. The Nucci was playing for the Cowboys, and I bet the Steelers, uh, and they sleptwalk through that game. And I'm not even sure they ended up

winning that game. Do you remember that game last year, Cowboy? Remember the Steelers got to 11 and oh and they were still trash? Yeah, they won the game and they had no shot at covering. And then I, and then I doubled down in the second half and they continued to, to shit the bet. Um, so yeah, there's going to be bad quarterback play tonight. I'm going to go with the under. Also, the kicking games all messed up. Evidently a couple years ago, there was a guy that tore his ACL in the Hall of Fame game,

and there's dudes that are a little bit spooked about kicking said balls tonight. So I'm going to go with the under. Quarterbacks for the Cowboys, Garrett Gilbert, Ben Danucci, Cooper Rush. No offense to you two cats back there. For the Steelers, Mason Rudolph,

Dwayne Haskins, proving himself Dwayne Haskins, and Josh Dobbs. So it's clearly the Steelers. It probably is the Steelers. I hate to root for Mason Rudolph, but I'm going to do it. I'm going to put money on the Steelers and I'm going to put money on. I'm going to take the Steelers on the money line. Not too much different

than laying the points. I'm going to take Steelers money line. I'm going to take the under. What was the total again? 31. 31. That's so low. It feels like... Vegas knows, though. Vegas knows. that's what I'm saying. I'm going to take the under. It's going to be 24 to 6.

Let's start this off with a bang. Bang bang. How many units? Two big bets. Well, I don't even know what we're calling units this year. I think that's a personal. Yeah, well, I think we got time to, I'm a lot like Kirk Cousins with that. And I want plexiglass around me as I place my bet. As I place my bets.

But yeah, man, so we get a little betting tonight on the game. Who cares, who wins? Well, now you. Now I care. the whole point that's the whole point of gambling there's going to be kicking game issues there's going to be denouci issues

there's and here's the thing last year Ben Danucci ripping my heart out the natural thing would be to learn from that but you have to do the opposite in sports betting I'm going to take the Steelers again fucking disaster

the fights the laps we're on a whole thing when we start doing the good to see you coach yeah yeah you're on you're on the Hall of Fame. Here's a fun fact. Yeah. In the year 2000,

my lovely wife Kate traveled to Canton, Ohio, with her father to watch Howie Long. She was there, huh? Get inducted into the Hall of Fame. Well, that's really cool. It is indeed. I think we might have seen each other. I don't know, maybe.

May you're breathing the same air. Harcels. That's right. Canton is cool, man. Like, I got to see my dad go in. The history's crazy. You know, shaking all those guys hands. Seeing my dad, though, more than anything, like this superhuman guy who's like larger in life and he's an alpha in every room he walks into join a room of like other alphas and he's just, you can see that he's not what I mean by humbled.

I don't mean that he needed humbling, but like it's easy to just be humbled like maximally humbled when you walk into that room and like he's somebody who was obsessed with Joe Green. and to like share a stage with Joe Green, you know, like talking about when he was a rookie and the Steelers came out to play the Raiders in the Bay and his roommate, Cedric Hardman, had played with Joe Green at whatever small school in Texas it was that Joe Green attended and eating dinner with him at a little dining table in a kitchen in Alameda. Like just the way he talks about that stuff and then to share the stage with him. I mean, it's cool to see your dad kind of, enjoy that moment, especially at a young age.

And for me, that was the weekend. I realized how good my dad was. That was the year I realized how good my dad was. My dad didn't make a big deal about his career. I knew everybody knew who he was because Lord knows every fucking restaurant we went into somebody tapped him on the shoulder, stared at us and that sort of thing. But I didn't know he was so good and so dominant. And to see him up on that stage, I was very proud of him.

and I thought he did great. And it was a fun weekend. I shouted out Ben James earlier. That is the site of one of the funniest things that ever happened. Ben was on a treadmill. We were like 13, 14, 15, whatever it was. I was 15. And we were kids, you know.

I know how old that is. Yeah, we were, we were, but I'm, 15 sounds older than we were. And we were at the fitness center. and there was like a beautiful woman in there. She was older and Ben was on the treadmill. She was so old, she could have played for the Lakers. Ben was glancing or gawking or whatever. You know, when you're a kid, it's pure.

Was he, was he, was he, was he, was he oogling? He wasn't oogling. Is it an ogle or an ogle? South of oagling. Ogle. He was south of an ogle. He was south of an ogle. It was just like, oh man, I'm a kid and that's a hot lady.

and he was enchanted yeah he was enchanted and looked and then he fell off the back of the treadmill into a wall the treadmill just shot him out the back but that I mean like that's nothing to do with the Hall of Fame but that's what I'll remember I'll also remember like playing

and you know not playing in the Hall of Fame game but as rookies we had to go to Canton who's doing fitness at 14 Ben he was a stud baseball player I was doing fitness at 14 you like fitness I guess the tennis program didn't really have a lot of a lot of

weight equipment yeah so anyways my rookie year we all went to Canton because they like to educate you know the rookies on you know the history of the game and that sort of thing

and you know the hotel's older it's kind of like a campy place this is before they renovated it and I'm so glad they did because it does deserve TLC. I can remember drinking, you know, coming home with a couple cases and us rookies. I think maybe Callais Campbell was in there. Chris Johnson was in there, CJ2K, drinking playing cards. That feels like just yesterday. But it was really cool, though, to go take that trip and, like,

see the history of the game. I know that, like, this generation is less into that sort of thing. But our game has a really rich history and all those dudes being on the stage at once is really cool. And my dad's jacket is gorgeous. I mean, it's hanging in his closet a lot of time. I'm like, don't you want to get like a plexiglass case for that? Kirk Cousins gets more protection than that jacket. What do you think about, hey, all right, I have several quick hitters here. Yeah, you do.

Howie Long, because of the flat top, maybe the most recognizable bust in that Hall of Fame, do you think? Ooh, yeah, best and worst busts. I mean, he's got one of the best. most accurate because his head is literally that heavy. Yeah. I mean, this is the guy where's size like eight and a half, new era. How do you feel about the fit here with the gold jacket in the year 2000?

It was a little loose, but I think he's gotten it, you know, tapered. In 2000, he was how old, he was 1960, he was 40. 40 years old. Do you think I look a lot older than him? You look very different. Yeah, we're just different looking guys. I've never seen him ever look like, uh, kind of like, my dad.

Your dad's a little older. With those eyeglasses though, like when my dad was 40, not too different there. Not too different. He looks very, I don't know. This doesn't quite look like him. No, it doesn't. He was in the process of being humble A.F. though, at that moment.

But it's a special thing, man. It's a special place. And shout out to Gary Spino, who took care of my dad that year and became really dear friend, like one of the Canton, the gatekeepers in Canton. And it's just a cool thing, man. And one year I want to go back. Because now I'm going to start to have teammates that are going to get in. You know, like I'd love to see Stephen Jackson get in.

I don't know that they're ever going to put him in. But undoubtedly, Aaron Donald will be in. A few other guys I play with for sure. And I want to make that pilgrimage to go see those guys, you know. So the guys getting in this weekend, you got Peyton Manning, you got Calvin Johnson, Drew Pearson, John Lynch, Tom Flores, Bill Nunn, and Charles Woodson. I believe that's everybody. Did I miss anybody, guys? Alan Fanica. Alan Fanica, who played with Squanch. And so we're going to have a chance to ask Squanch about Alan Fanica,

but I'm probably the happiest naturally for Drew Pearson. Well, no, I'm the happiest for Tom Flores because I know my dad talked about him a lot growing up and also doesn't think Tom got enough credit. And being one of the first minority coaches that had great success in the NFL, and the Braiders were like a major hub for diversity, Archel, Tom Flores, you know, Amy Trask. White defensive end. White defensive end. You know, Tom Flores, two Super Bowls there in Oakland,

and at the time, I don't think there were a lot of guys ahead of him. I mean, not a lot of guys had in the early 80s more than two rings. And so his success came relatively quickly, and those teams were just barbarians. It was awesome. I mean, they just had this awesome vibe about him. And yeah, I just think he's finally getting the credit he deserves and he's been patient and he's been chill

and he's in Corona commercials now and I think it's awesome. And more than anything, here's the best thing Tom Flores did for this guy besides giving my dad a Super Bowl. He beat the Eagles in the early 80s so we could be first. Yeah, thank you, Tom Flores. Think about that. Sliding doors. Yeah.

No, nothing against the early 80s, Eagles or Jaws. I mean, I'd love to see Jaws get a Super Bowl, but Tom helped us out in a really indirect way.

And we interviewed Calvin Johnson. Here's what he had to say about the Hall of Fame. Whose speech do we think goes the longest and whose do we think goes the shortest? This year they're putting limits on it because we're doing Saturday and Sunday night for the double year.

I'm surprised they're not calling it the 2020 Hall of Fame class like the fucking Olympics are doing. but who do you think talks the longest? They're going to hook people at eight. They're going to play like Oscar music at eight. And at six minutes, that's kind of your waypoint to getting off the stage. I think everybody maxes out at six minutes.

So perhaps this exercise should be, if there were no cap, because six minutes? I think that some people are going to get hooked. I think a couple guys are going to get hooked. I think some guys are going to try to come in at five. I think Peyton Manning is going to be the shortest. because he's the most polished. He's very polished. He's a rule follower.

He's a rule follower. I think he's going to take this as some competitive challenge. I also think like Peyton Manning's so great. That's a good call. You know, he's going to try to let his accomplishment speak for himself. And he's a fast talker. Like he can talk with like a good pace.

You know what I mean? Like Omaha, Omaha. Thank you. That kind of thing. So I'm putting Peyton Manning with the shortest. And I'm gonna go Drew Pearson with the longest, just because Drew Pearson has waited a while, and there's also been a lot of back and forth

as to whether or not he should be in, and he's also kind of led his own charge, and I don't blame him. So I think Drew Pearson might go the longest also. He's a wide receiver, and he played for Dallas. I'm going Tom Flores as longest. And nobody's gonna, if you hook Tom Flores, like you should.

Yeah, like that's tough. That's tough, whatever goes nine minutes? Guys like 85 years old. I mean, it'll be in a commercial break. I'm going Tom Flores or Drew Pearson. I like your call, though. I mean, like those two probably the longest. And Peyton will be the shortest.

The crazy thing about John Lynch is going to be, think about that position how much has changed since he played. And it's not like he's ancient. His position has changed so much in the span of time since he left the field to the time that he's been inducted in the Hall of Fame. It's a very unique situation. You know, usually somebody whose position got left in the dust like that or the style of play at that position.

You know, you're looking at them playing in black and white or in the 80s or something. That's just going to show you how quickly the game has changed because John Lynch might not play safety in today's game. Almost undoubtedly wouldn't play safety. What was my dad's speech length? Wait, no, we're going to guess. What's the average Hall of Fame speech length, Reed? average is about like 12 minutes the longest is Tony Gonzalez 2019 he was 39 minutes

Brett Favreve took 36 in 2016 oh yeah Brett Favs was long that was a long one oh god there's a there's a second longest one the speech was it uh who was the second longest garell owens when he did his own hall of fame card oh yeah if you want to count that He went 40 minutes. You know what? Fuck. If you get into the Hall of Fame, you should just grab a lawn chair. I would go up there with a six-pack and just grab a lawn chair.

You would. Yeah. You might want to think about coming back. Try to get into that group. I don't think it's going to do beers. I don't think it's going to happen. What would you need? 30 sacks and another title?

30 sacks and about seven pro bowls. Yeah. It's more of the pro bowls than the sacks and actually being good. Which is silly. No, but it's actually being good would help. And I don't think, I think those. that ship has sailed but cowboy let's not forget we got the uh we've got the 2020 class as well here can you read me those names i mean they didn't get to talk last year so that's exciting right they're

going to do their speeches on saturday uh the day before the 2021 class but it is troy palomalu cliff harris steve atwater paul taglubu steve hutchinson donnie shell isaac bruce jimboobo Edgern James, Harold Carmichael, Jimmy Johnson, and Bill Cowher. Listen, man, this is, I'm really happy these guys get to talk. You know, it's like, what a weird year. To get the news last year and then not to go do the thing,

I know that might even make it cooler to have to wait a year. I'm really happy for Harold Carmichael, who I've talked about this before. He was like a fixture in the locker room in Philly would just come around and hang out. He's like an awesome dude that would be in the beach. building every day. And just one of the nicest guys in the world.

Philly legend. Jimmy Johnson worked with my dad. Great guy. He's been on the show before. I mean, who's not, like Bill Cowr is going to cry 100%, don't you think? When that jaw starts bulging, that's when the tears are going to come. The water works. Isaac Bruce, most, I always say this about Isaac Bruce.

You know, having spent time in St. Louis and I missed him by a year or two. I did get to play with Tori Holt. but like Isaac Bruce is probably the most humble like truly humble superstar I've ever met like so much so that it's a detriment to like his visibility in the game like he should be talked about well he is now as one of the best to ever do it and I'm so excited for him it's not just this year's class there's a lot of great guys from last year

they're going to get to go I'm really excited about Harold's speech I think it could be a little bit long and I think it's going to be great and if I had to guess maybe Isaac Bruce is pretty short Jimbo Covert Great name, we didn't draft him the other day No, we should have There might be a name or two on this list

That could have gotten drafted The other day And there's a guy that got inducted into the centennial class Ed Sprinkle Yeah, the meanest man in pro football The irony The guy's name is Ed Sprinkle

And he would rip your face off Nicknamed the Claw played for the Bears in addition to those speeches on Saturday there's going to be eight members who will have video played they're posthumously inducted

that's Bobby Dylan Winston Hill Alex Karras Steve Sable Duke Slater Max Speedy Ed Sprinkle and George Young Steve Sable who we're talking about here God rest his soul

seemed like one of the nicest most genuine men in the history of our game and did so much. Like you, I'm lucky enough to go to NFL films in New Jersey or I was two years ago, my first year with Amazon. And just his signatures all over that building. And there's really cool pictures on the wall that he's like curated for each hallway and each hallway that like there's a rhyme and a reason to everything he did with that place.

And he used to live in Moorestown right outside of Philly where my lovely wife's from. And right down the street evidently and just a really celebrated guy. for good reason. So shout out to those guys as well. We need to guess how long your dad spoke for. Happy in the first half there. I'm going to go with, okay, if the average is 12, I'm going to go with dad was at 14 minutes, 39 seconds. I'm going to go 19 minutes, 12 seconds.

Chris is closer. It's 15 minutes and 30 seconds. Nice, minute off. Well, you were there. All right. I barely remember. Competitive advantage. Had a fucked up looking Arkansas Razorbacks hat.

That is hilarious. I had a hat that I just liked the hat because I just liked it. And, you know, it was one of those like white college hats, like the, the white ones with Oh, did it say like hogs with University of Arkansas? Yeah. And it had a little razor back on there. Those were all the rage back in the day. Yeah.

If you were like a cocazoid 14 year old. I am. Woo pig. Woo pig. Had in the starter jacks. It had the rips in it. I kept it for like four years, wore it in the pool, took it on dates, made out in it a couple times you had to like turn it backwards you to make out yeah so yeah i mean like that was a special

hat and it was there in canton as well awkward years for your boy really awkward years hadn't grown into my nose yet the jaw line of a fucking 24 year old but good speech dad it was good i think you said baseball is america's pastime but football is america's passion mars surprised they haven't The NFL hasn't put that on a... Yeah, copyright. Everything. Baseball has been called America's past time, and since my retirement, through my three sons,

I've come to appreciate the ability of baseball to bring families closer together, and in particular fathers and sons. In my opinion, baseball is America's Papp's time, but football is truly America's passion. There we go, Dad. Well written. I remember him writing that speech, like just stressful, I'm sure.

I mean, fuck, dude. And to get it in a certain time, thank everybody. It's hard. I remember how stressed he was about thanking everybody. I know he still forgot people and it sucks because people are waiting. Like, they're the only person to be thanked.

If only he had a forum where he could shout somebody out. Yeah, he could write his wrongs. Hey, remember when you were posting Thirstrap pictures from Montana? Like, hey, look at how bronze and skinny I am. That's funny. Because it went over quite the opposite. I didn't post that, by the way. Do you remember that?

Yeah, I remember when Lane posted a picture. You look the same to me. Really? Yeah. As before? Yeah, I mean, you're fine. Yeah, thank you. I appreciate that.

Let's get to Squanch. Big Man on campus, you know, new Fox Media Star. After we talk to Squanch, stick around because we're going to do good, bad, ugly. We wanted to put that in the back. There's plenty of talk about there, including the Joe Judge lap running stuff. Macon's got some Andrew Cuomo commentary. I think and a lot more. We're also going to do an Olympic minute,

and Dr. Fax is going to swing through and talk about the verses. So squant is... Are we done with that? Okay, we're done with squant. Okay, we're done with Mark Sanchez. It's not even how you say it's squashed, squashed. We know, dude. Hey, he's in booth mode.

Ever since we got on the Zoom with him, he's like very dignified. He's different since he's booth man. He's changed. What up, big boy. We missed you. What's up? I miss you guys. I'm still invited. Oh, you're always invited.

And now you're an NFL on Fox booth guy, and I'm wondering how this came about, because you didn't say anything to us about it. Just I read about you on Google, and now you're my dad's coworker. Well, I'm a big fan of the Long family and any chance I can work with them, like your show, like Kyle on the Bears,

like now Fox, I just follow you guys. You know? That's a great point. It's a little hanger on, just always there. Please. You're going to be walking out, throwing out your trash one day, and I'm just going to be there. I would love it if you would come visit us. I will.

I will at some point. Okay. Between all the games. So how did this thing come about? Did you just get a wild hair? Have you been thinking about this a while? No, I've wanted to call games for a little bit. I was a little nervous to be completely candid.

And I think I've done well with the highlights. up I think studio and ESPN has prepared me for this, but I did want to get back to live game action. And I was under contract for two years with ESPN. And then this was my opportunity to either make a move, go back, you know, or do something different. And I thought, listen, I can go audition for CBS. I audition for Fox. Boom, negotiation started with Fox. I called everybody at ESPN and said, hey, this is kind of the direction I'm going.

and they were great. They wished me the best, and I was very appreciative to them because I knew they had prepared me for this moment. And I just think that when you see the game through the lens of a quarterback, who's played for 10 years or been around it for 10 years, there's just so much there that you can either educate the fan on

or commentate on and give an opinion on that makes sense. And if I don't do that, I feel like I'm wasting an opportunity to do that. And so this was the right move for me and pretty similar schedule during the season. You know, weekends will be busy during the week. It'll be pretty light. But I got a couple studio days in there too. And I think I just think it's a great opportunity.

I'm excited to work with Scope, Titleman, Kevin Coogler, Laura Oakman. I think we got a great team. We just had our Fox seminar out at the Biltmore in Phoenix. And it was great. It was great. I just love the atmosphere. I think it's a family atmosphere. So I'm grateful for all the people at Fox for giving me a shot.

And our first game is Stan Fran out of Detroit week one. So I'll see Mark Brunel. I'll see Jimmy G. We'll see all the guys we know and love in the NFL. I'm just excited that the fans are going to be back. And it's going to be a great opportunity. Yeah, dude, you're going to be right there in production meetings with Dan Campbell the first week. I mean, this is awesome.

Can you drink? Do I need to wear? I got to wear some knee pads, dude. You do have to wear some knee pads. You got a name drop Greenlight Pop. One day we got to get Dan Campbell on here. So, like, do you know your first week? Do you know, like, the rest of the slate or how far into the season do you have any predictability at which games you're doing?

I got, yeah, I got the first four. Second one, Sensi at Chicago, which would be great. Third one's Minnesota, excuse me, Seattle, at Minnesota. And then fourth one is Washington at Atlanta. So for my first gig, I'm stoked. There's people that I know on all those teams, especially all the home teams. And those are the ones you get to go see practice. Those are the ones you get to interact with, you know, on a Friday practice.

So that is, that's huge because you get a good feel for a team is kind of what I'm hearing on Friday. And then the relationships you have with whether it's Mark Rone or, you know, Dave Ragon, who's in Atlanta, you know, as the OC quarterback coach, that kind of stuff. I mean, I was in a room with the guy, you know, for nine months every day. And, you know, you just, you rely on those kind of relationships to get the kind of content that viewers want. And so hopefully that can be a conduit to, uh, to give that content. And I think I will. What's the best piece of advice you've gotten from somebody that's doing what you're about to do? Oof. Um, you know, I got to talk to Troy out of the, um, Troy Eichman out at the, like, like I'm boys with them now.

You know, I just call Troy. Tight. Yeah, Troy. I had to catch myself right there. I'm like, oh, you know, we're fellow booth guys. Like, I haven't even done a damn game yet. You be booth guys, man. Who knows?

But you do get little things from everybody, and a lot of them are similar across the board. Like, one, go have fun. People are going to ask you, you know, you're watching a football game. How hard can it be, right? You know, you've done this your whole life. Don't overthink it. Keep it simple. You know, little things like that along the way have really helped.

You know, watching old Madden clips, watching old brooding. clips, watching Phil Sims, watching Romo, watching, you know, a bunch of guys. You just, you pick little things that you love about each of them. And at the end of the day, I've got to be Mark. I got to be me. I got to have fun doing it. And I mean, I've been on this show a bunch. You know me. I'm a little self-deprecating. Hopefully I have some good insight on something, but I want the game to be fun. And so, you know, the other thing, too, that everybody's told me is if you get a great game that's high scoring, you know, back and forth kind of affair, that's easy.

That's great. That's what everybody hopes for. When you get a blowout, then, you know, you're working. Now the storylines matter. Now you really got to think about what you're going to say and how you're going to incorporate things and hope the score picks up, you know, so. Well, it becomes like a podcast late in a game.

Exactly. That's three scores. So, I mean, you're welcome. This is the roots of Mark Sanchez's greatness. Is it really hard not to read the mail before it gets there, like a Tony Romo thing? You know, he's really good at, you know, I imagine former quarterbacks in general, no matter who you are, you're going to have insights that we don't. I mean, even players that played closer to the, you know, in different areas of the field.

Is it hard for you not to like the urge to be like, oh, I can call that out? I think doing the auditions have helped, but I still got to be me. If that's who I want to be, okay, then that's what I got to do. I got to study to be that. Now, here and there, sprinkle it in, or you've seen the exact formation in motion because offenses aren't scared to do that again later in the game. If you know it, you know it. And if you don't, you don't.

And it's not the end of the world either way. It's really cool when you get it right, I'm sure, just like Tony's experienced. But it's not the end of the world. It's kind of what people have said. Like, hey, if you miss one, so what? It's not the end of the broadcast. You know, the game goes on. Life goes on.

Just move on and call it as you see it. But, you know, making sure you understand from the quarterback's perspective, that's a unique perspective. And that's the way I see the game where some guys see it from a defensive spot. Some guys see it from a receiver perspective. I think that quarterback view is you're an extension of the coaching staff on the field. So you kind of see a lot. And so I think one of the most important things is just filtering all that information,

and everything I'm taking in, getting it out in a quick, concise, relatable manner without trying too hard to coach somebody on a cover two and a cover two men. Like, you don't have to tell them, hey, this is, you know, weak side counter with two league blockers and he's got the first one around the edge. He's got the kickout. It's like, it's too far. You know, you've just gone down this rabbit hole and it's like, nobody cares. Yeah.

But if there's something simple that you can relay, then absolutely do it. During your auditions, did you practice using a telestrator? And are you aware that it's pretty easy to draw genitalia accidentally? That is so funny because we got to practice in Phoenix. And they brought it out there. I think I was one of the only people who needed it because either me or Greg Olson, but it's so true. And they tell you that right away that it's pretty easy to draw something that you'd rather erase and look like a moron.

It's a balloon. It's a balloon. Yeah, exactly. Yeah, because you end up circling two people, and then there's inevitably like, oh, this alley, and then he's got to stop right here. And then he's just like, oh, dear. You know, so.

We were going to ask if you could draw at some point in the season a G, like inadvertently to shout us out. Nobody, not many of many people listen, so nobody's going to know you were fucking around doing it. So will you do that for us? Just draw a GOP green light pot? No, just a G. We'll know exactly what you're doing.

We'll be glued to the TV during all your games. A G. Yeah, okay. Okay, see, there we go. That's a soft purple commitment. No, I said, yeah, okay, like, you're going to be watching every single game that I do. I'll take it as a, yeah, okay. Spotters, the whole thing, like, what was the most surprising thing about when you got in the,

I don't know if, you know, like flight simulators when you become a pilot, you probably feel like you're really practicing leading up to it. Have you done any, like, real mock game type things before you got? get into it and what's the most surprising mechanic that you didn't envision being really tough or overwhelming? So I've only gone off of recorded games on a monitor, but I will be in Dallas versus Houston for that preseason game, not on air, but just with a headset to listen to Kevin Coogler in the box because he's more partners on this. And I just want to hear his case. I just want to hear his cadence, his timing. He actually came out here for a couple days and stayed at my house and

we were going back and forth on what we wanted, what we expected of each other. And I'm so excited. I think he's going to be a great teammate. But we went back and watched one of his games with Mark Brunell, a Jaguars Jets preseason game. And he forgot that I was in that game. So we were watching him and Mark call our first drive for the Jets against the Jags in preseason back when it was gabbert and Henny and you know I was playing for the jet so it was funny to hear his cadence and then go back and look at that game

Was he killing you at any point? Did he kill you at any point? No, he wasn't but Brunel did. Damn it. And I was like, yo, I just looked at Kevin and I was like, yeah, what was that? All right, fine, that's fair coming for Mark Brunel, but fuck. I mean, geez. I mean, he was my former teammate for two years.

We were like super tight, so I'm like, dude. I remember Leroy Glover went on TV like a year and a half in said something that was a little critical of me, and I just had to take it in stride. It's just the way it is. And that's probably the hardest part about doing what we do now. You are going to be in a lot of situations

where you're not going to have to take shots of people, but you're going to have to like, you know, if I was calling games, inevitably, I'm going to criticize the defense event who was better than me. There's plenty of them. Like, you're going to call a game with Tom Brady or something, you know, one day. And you're going to have to say he fucked up.

Like, how do you do that respectfully? And how do you not bury guys? Yeah, I think it's, There's a fine art to it. Some guys are better at it than others. But at the end of the day, you really got to criticize the performance and not the person. Right. Like once you start getting into the person, then it's like, whoa, that's, you know, a little out of balance.

And then the other thing, too, is, you know, I try not to take anything personally as a player. So hopefully these guys will do the same thing. But they're on interception. It's either a really good play by the defensive back, a bad deal by the receiver, or just bad decision, right? Like, it's either a bad throw, bad decision. and screw up by the receiver or great play by the defensive back and they're rarely on the receiver and defense back. It's usually either a bad throw or bad decision.

Can you do me a favor when you're doing this? Because I feel like skill guys and quarterbacks just totally ignore like line play as far as the terminology is concerned. And with a couple of my pet peeves here, like if somebody gets a sack 12 yards behind the line of scrimmage, you've been sacked that deep. That was not the tackle's fault.

So don't put it on the tackle and don't whack the D-end off. over a rush like that. Please don't do that. If a D-N is unblocked, don't clamor over what a great rush it was. Can we not do that? Those two things with pass rush?

All right. I will do my best. Can we not blame the defensive end every time there's a reverse that goes out the gate? Contain. It's not. Who's got contained on this?

Oh, my God. You should know well enough. We don't use the word contain in the run game. We use edge or force. You already know this. And can you please do us a service and not throw us into the bus like every other good-looking skill guy that ever walked into a booth? Please, Mark.

Hey, listen, deep is the deepest. Wide is the widest. You got contain some. Contain, though. You just not saying contain. No, I know. I know. You're the outside force.

You're the outside force. I love this. Here's the crazy thing, though. We went through some of the rule changes. You know what's going to be nuts, dude. The corner can't go low out on the edge. So outside the tight end box. nobody can go low.

Yeah. Okay. So on screens, screens go up the alley. Up the alley is right up the numbers, right? Outside edge or on the numbers is the sidewalk, right? Mm-hmm. So, and they tell the backs, that's your landmark. Once you hit it and turn second base and go, that's where you're going.

Well, these linemen, boom, it's a three count. So they're one, two, boom, they're out of there. And their job is to go block this little guy on the edge. Well, you can't get foot to foot face to face. and block this guy like a blocking, you know, clinic. So what do they tell him? They tell him to throw, just dive at his legs and make him make a decision, right? Go this way or that way.

Then the running back goes the other way. Yeah, Dick case thing. That's it. That's it. And they're not really trying to hit him. Just like the corner out there when he just falls down and kind of lays low and because it's better that he's there than five yards behind. All he's got to do is force the thing back inside. Well, all of those are penalties now.

Yeah. All of them. That's going to be crazy. So we were, dude, it's, that's, screen game, the outside bubbles and like a quick little minus throws and now throws. I mean, that's all it is. The tunnel screens, all that. It's, just get out there and kind of take up space. As a defensive player, I kind of love it because the one thing I hated about the end of my career was like the game got so sideline to sideline and the run game became this finesse thing

and you were taken out of plays if you weren't fast as fuck. So I love the fact that now, often is going to be dissuaded from like hitting the edge and just chopping guys down you probably run less screens weird you probably run less screens but i mean so it was funny because i was like i wonder what the defense things and charles winson's in there because now he's on the show with your pops and he goes he looked he looked at walled Anderson from the NFL deal was just like so what do what do i do when that big guy comes after me and goes i'm like barely 200 pounds It's unbelievable. He's like, now what?

But on the other side of things, like the offensive linemen are going to have a hard time breaking down and making those blocks in space. So I don't know who that favors, but yeah. They can't, they can't, you know, shuffle their feet and try and settle and block a DB. That's impossible. Here's what's going to happen. A lot of defensive players, defenses are going to change the way they force screens. There's going to be ways that you could spill, like a lot of times, like a defensive end will spill a puller. you know, get skinny, like kind of go right at him and dart underneath him.

You're going to get more league way to do that. And you're going to need like second and third level players to replace each other. You know, the defensive and defensive backs have a ton of mechanisms for this. I think I think this will favor defense as not offenses. Oh, 100%. Yeah, I do. I do. Are there any other rule changes that we have because we've turned our brains off with football all summer?

I'm trying to remember that was the big one that people had a lot of questions about. Um, what was something was unreviewable. Oh, past interference, but they changed that last year. What about, I think? What about name searching? Will you name search yourself be honest after games? Oh, like Twitter mentions and stuff. Yeah.

Yeah. So I've, I've heard that like during the game, probably don't want to do it. Do dudes name search themselves during the game? No, well, like people will have their phone and during a break or during halftime, if you're getting alerts on your phone, if you have the alerts turned on, then it'll show, right? So like for any social media stuff,

I don't have that turned on. It won't come on the front of my, like the lock screen, you know? Yeah. But people are like, yeah, like, you say something about whatever. I mean, one of the examples Kevin Coogler gave me

and I forget the name that he used, but it was like a, you know, when they get the weather report and it's like snowy rain and people call it sleet. Yeah. Well, there's actually some other technical name for it. And Kevin had checked his mentions and someone said, hey, I'm a meteorologist in you know, Idaho. And this is what it's called, by the way. And so he looked it up real fast,

confirmed it, set it on air. And he had 50 mentions from just about every meteorologist ever. And they're like, that's so cool. You know our lingo. Like I mean, it can be a good thing. That can be a tweet. But if you want to said something, yeah, if he said something bad, then people would just roast you. You know how that is. It's, it's, uh, you know, Twitter. It's the bathroom wall the internet, dog. It sure is. It sure is. It's just a little bit dirtier than the bathroom wall, I feel

like. You talked about Charles Woodson Hall of Fame now, so Alan Fanica is another guy that's going in this weekend. You played with Alan. He, you know, kind of was the driving force behind a lot of the prolific run offenses of the last 20 years.

And he just seems like a great guy, too. I mean, what can you tell me about playing with Fanica? One, he's the best. Two, I didn't know he was such a great guy because I don't think he said a word to me till we were in the playoffs, my rookie year. He was just like a prove it kind of got. And this guy was in the building, you know, before everybody working on.

He had had hand surgery either the year before with the Steelers or two years before. And when he came to us, he was always working on that, you know, that disc with all the web things in it. always in hand. I mean, constantly working on his body, constantly getting massages, stretching, extra lifting. I mean, he just set a template for like, if you want to take care of yourself, this is what you do. And he never explained it to me because we didn't talk about it until later.

And after we lose in the championship game, like this dude coming over and giving me a big hug, like, man, I'm proud of you. I thought you worked your ass off. And it was just like such a gratifying sensation because one, he didn't say anything early and was, and you know, I asked Nick Mangled a million times. I'm like, dude, he didn't like USC. What did I do? What did I do?

You know, he goes, dude, he's just, he's a different cat. He got to earn his respect. And as soon as Nick said that, it was like, all right, it's all. Like, this is one of my goals because if I can live up to that kind of expectation, I'm sure I'm going to be playing okay. Yeah. Right? Like if I can do all those little things that he respects, then maybe we have a conversation one day because I know he's working his ass off. And so it was it was a long journey to get to those conversations. And he was, he was one of the best, man. Just worked his tail off. And it paid off. You know, it doesn't always pay off. But it puts you in the right situation. And he attacked it and maximizes potential for sure. Have you seen him all skinny running like Iron Man?

He's doing like triathlons and all that. That's incredible. Incredible. No. It's very cool. He seems like, again, a good dude, and it took a year to figure that out, I guess. But again, like we talk about that in the old NFL, when we came in the league, vets were different. We talked about Fanica and you, that relationship.

That's actually a great segue into what we were going to talk about next, which is like young quarterbacks. Like, there are a bunch of them right now. You know, there's always a guy or two that are going to be handed the keys right away in the NFL. you know, Trevor Lawrence or somebody like that. What's the key to being a young guy in a locker room that, albeit it's much different now, there's less vets. You walked into a really vetty locker room. So Fanica was one example.

In general, what's it like trying to walk that line between being a leader and like staying out of the way? It's a very fine line, razor thin at times, because you got to assert yourself as the leader, but that doesn't mean you have to be like the vocal rah-rah guy. that doesn't mean you have to you know belittle anybody else or whatever like that over time can happen but at the beginning i mean there's not a ton to say right other than you know the little hey reminders tips like the tips and reminders that you get on your quarterback sheet or anything like that reminding guys like i used to do even at a young age even my rookie year hey we're we're

on the goal line now be ready for bullets be ready for outlaw right boom let's go i write tight wing 20 blast and you give the play but you give a little more than the play or hey we're going to run stick hey Dustin Keller DK it's third and six now I need you get all a six okay don't give me a five yard stick route all right let's go trips right blah blah blah and you give the play explaining a quick little thing whatever it is hey hold your water on this I'm going uh long cadence or double count double count whatever we're on two little things like that would help because it one it reminds yourself two you're tuned in you know what the hell you're talking about and three the guy's kind of like okay he's got a little more than just i write 13 bob right because i write 13 bob is it's a shitty

call because it's a boring ass play but 13 bob's got to work so yeah you got to tell him in a way like hey knock their ass off left side we're coming after you guys let's go i write 13 bob boom and you just give them a little extra juice a little extra something and whether it's in the cafeteria if it's um you know going like i try to do go to a broadway show with some of the guys bring their wives get to know them So when you get in those tough situations, a tough third down, a tough fourth quarter, you get your ass kicked by a team. It's never personal. Like we got a relationship that's strong. We're friends.

We're all trying to do something together. We got this shared struggle. It's never personal. If it gets hot, if it gets heated, if we get, you know, annoyed or frustrated with each other, who cares? We're just trying to win. Yeah. It's never, I don't like you. We were at Fiddler on the fucking roof together, guys.

Start singing the soundtrack to Kat. Get over it. Yeah. You were going to the same place. I was like, so you're taking these big burly vets, and you're saying, like, let's hit the Broadway shows. That was a tough sell, I got to say. The wives loved it.

The players were like, what? All right, Rook. But they eventually loved it because their wife was in a great place and, you know, gave them potentially a free pass, a free night out with the boys. Happy wife. It's nothing wrong with that. Happy life.

Was there every time somebody put you in your place and was like, Rook, like, a little bit, bit less or like hey rook like you haven't been here that long because i it's happened to me before and i wasn't a quarterback um so god what did i said something and mangold just kind of like gave me a look like uh-uh no uh and brandon more brandon more gave me like a cool it and he was a great he was great at the eye roll just like ugh you know almost like stanley from the office just like yeah you you know, just cut through to your soul with just a look, you know. A big circle change up all the way.

So, you know, like the dog days of training camp, when everybody's tired and sweaty and there's fights breaking out and you're like, come on, guys, we've got to focus. And, you know, those guys are like. You didn't fight like Danny Dimes, did you? Danny Dimes was in there. Did you ever get in a fight in the priest? Did you ever drop the people's elbow?

I said, look at that right cross. Come on, dude. Did you ever have to get in the middle of a scrum? That was a chippy group you had. I threw on the Ray Mysterio RFP mask and just off the top road. Now, it was funny. Rex always had a couple rules for fighting. And it was well documented on Hard Knocks, but he just said, number one, if a fight breaks out, if you take off your helmet, you're out.

Yeah. Right? If you're swinging it or you take it off to be a tough guy and get in somebody's face, you're gone. I'm kicking you out of practice. two, you, boom, you strap up your helmet and body blows only. If I see you punch it in the face, you're going to break your hand. And so if you didn't already break your hand, I'm kicking you out of practice. And he said, he goes, where's Sanchez?

He goes, yeah, get this, you know what, out of here. Make sure the red jerseys aren't even close. Yeah. And if he's even close and you don't get him out, you're out. Okay. Those are the rules. He's like, I'm not condoning fighting, but if you do any of those, you know if you play within the rules we can tolerate a couple belly blows it's not that big of a deal

we'll all get over it's going if i see any of this other shit you're gone it's going to happen the hard knocks thing you just mentioned how hard was that like what's that really like when when they're just hovering over you at first it was it was a little weird but they do such a good job of putting it like these tiny little cameras with audio pickup and everything yeah it's like in the vent or or um you know in the smoke detector or something. Like, you don't, you don't even see it. I swear. Their cameras like, as small as this mic.

I think that's how they caught Carl Nassib doing the accountant thing. Remember he was explaining shit? And it looked like he was on like a real world camera. It's the same camera as the real world. It's like big brother. You don't even think about it. Big brother. It's just in there.

Yeah. So that was, you know, and you signed on this big deal. I mean, I'm sure. There's no way you're getting out of it. So what if you're in the locker room or you're in the fucking, well, listen, they try and protect you if you you know you're going over some legal issue and you're talking to your

attorney and it's like a attorney client privilege i doubt they're going to air that i mean it's on film somewhere and it's recorded somewhere but i doubt they would air it i'm saying like okay i'm ordering pizza from wherever and the guys like i said hey can we get some extra ranch and i'm in the quarterback room by myself everybody had already left i was going to get the pizza and go to the locker room or go to the team room area and and have pizza and we're just going to hang out and watch the movie or watch whatever. And I don't think we have practice the next day or something like that. Well, I'm on the phone with the pizza delivery guy. And he goes, yeah, every, I said, can we get some extra ranch, please? And he said, each thing at ranch is like 50 cents. I was like 50 cents. I was like,

for what? It's like ketchup. You just get it. Like, what is that all about? No, bottles like, I don't know, man. Like, whatever. Well, they aired that part and I just got blasted because people are like, dude, you just signed a $50 million deal and you're haggling with this guy over ranch. I was like, I mean, I don't know the value. You know the value of money and it doesn't make sense that ranch costs money. Now, if the Papa John's garlic sauce that you could probably charge me for that, you really could. You could charge me for anything at Little Caesars though.

Oh, little Seasers is pretty good. They don't have it out here. Oh, it's great. I mean, it's awesome, but it's so like, I mean, it's rough, dude. It's rough on you. You pay for it. That's all. 10 things learned from this week's Hard Knocks episode, August 19, 2010. Mark Brunel will never allow 23-year-old Mark Sanchez to meet his college-age daughter.

His daughter thinks he's cute. Have you ever met Mark Brunel's daughter? Yes, he had us over for pizza night all the time, but that was the thing. They're like, you're closer and age to his daughter than him. Like, he could be your dad. That's kind of weird. And Brew was just like, you know, it was just like a non-starter. Don't even think about it.

Were there nine others about Mark? It's all things from that particular episode, including the ranch bit. Yeah, well, that's Mark Sanchez is a frugal asshole who treats the American workers terribly. Sanchez loves all things flavored orange, including tic Tacs and icies. Is that true? It's true. I'm a big orange flavor guy. That's interesting.

Orange Gatorade, orange anything. How about let's talk a little quarterbacks before we get you out of here. We've got the Wence-Foles drama is back. That's good for business. I hate that Carson got hurt. I hate it because I really, I was so excited about this year for him. And it still could be because, you know, you're going to get Quentin Nelson back. You've got a really nice team built around him.

It's him and Frank Reich. But in the meantime, you look at that five to 12 week range. And I said this, and I don't know what you think about this, but I feel like that's a big range. And I feel like they do that intentionally as a team. And I'm wondering why, or if you're a player, or a quarterback, what do you think about when they put out a range that big and when do you think Carson Wentz really comes back? If it's me personally, you look at whatever it is, four to six, six to 12, five to 12. And I look at the first number and I'm like, okay, I got to beat that.

That's just me in my screwed up brain, right? Competitive, just like, I got to get back. Now, he's got away his own personal circumstances and think big picture, which is really hard. And the Colts medical staff, their most difficult job is potentially protecting him from him to make sure that any outside influence and stuff that he, you know, over owns and personalizes. That doesn't fuel any, I got to be back out there before I'm ready to be back out there. And so, you know, they'll do their best, just like Carson Well and his rehab. But it's, you know, they give you a range, obviously, to protect themselves and incentivize, right? I think the first number is kind of an incentive. And then the second number is kind of like, well, a contingency plan, right?

You know, my only issue is when they give that first number, you know, because of what you said, they know we're going to try to beat that number. And a lot of times. Oh, yeah, it's a little carrot. Yeah, especially like post-surgery and that type of thing. The surgeon is setting that number. trainers, you know, then kind of follow that. But I feel like a lot of times they're making that timetable decision

based on when you're structurally safe to play. That doesn't mean that you're going to be functionally like the guy you were. I think of like a quarterback position like that. It's a curiously big range. And maybe it's legit. But I also wonder if that's like the five weeks is a way for them to leverage. Like, hey, he's going to be back soon. We don't need Garder-Minchu that bad.

We don't need Nick Foles that. bad because they're going to have to go trade for somebody. Yeah, I mean, like, you would think to roll in with Jacob Eason is a heck of a gamble. Right. It's not, it's not the end of the world based on the team structure, right? Based on the personnel because, you know, it could be a handcuffed offense and letting this guy learn a little bit and heavy run, which they have, they got three backs that can do it. They got a great O line. They got the defensive firepower. like solid on special teams. I think their defensive coordinator,

Everflus, he's awesome. Yeah. And so he's going to put these guys in a good position. Now it's, okay, what kind of quarterback play are we willing to live with, right? And we dealt with this when I was a rookie with the Jets. We won some games in spite of me. And that's just the way it goes as a rookie,

if your team's good enough. Right. Now, if the team ain't good enough, you're going to lose and you're going to lose bad. Look at, you know, Peyton, look at a lot of these guys as rookies. They didn't come into a situation that I had. Right.

Because it's tough, man. I threw five picks and we were in an overtime thriller against the bills. Five picks? You shouldn't even be in that game. You shouldn't even be in the stadium. In a game one? There's no way. Yeah, one.

It was rough. It was rough. I've had some bad ones. That's that. That was tough. Dude, but it goes to show you, the show goes on. I don't remember that game. It's just you got to just put your hat back on and go to work,

especially as a rookie. And like you said, there's there's something to be said for hey this team's really good we can hide a rookie quarterback who's going through growing pains but i could look at it from the other side and say this team is built to win now we need to go get somebody that's going to help us win now so is there anybody out there that you like if they're making a trade i mean philip said he was still thinking about it he put the high school thing on a shelf for a minute and come back for eight weeks you're right because it's different like the difference between hey weighing philip is an option to take you

through the Super Bowl is one thing. I don't think Philip at this age is going to win them a Super Bowl, but if Philip wants to come back and get them to, you know, six and four, seven and three, when, you know, maybe Carson comes back.

I'm overshooting the landing strip here. Maybe it's less games than that. But because for a team like this, they're thinking Super Bowl. They gave up the farm to go with a, at worst, unproven commodity, you know,

a guy who people have been down on. They think they can win the Super Bowl. So why not burn the ships and say, hey, I know that's not really the GM's thing there, but why not burn the ships and say, we've invested this much in this team? Let's go get somebody. And Nick Foles, to me, I know last year I did this and we were wrong about Chicago, but Frank and Nick have a thing. And, you know, this would be a situation. I think it's a different situation than it's similar to Chicago. I just think they have more offensive weapons than Chicago. And I think that. The one issue, in my opinion, is if you bring him Philip and he's got you at seven and three, you ain't getting that dude off the field. You're going to have to drag his ass off the field. Right. He's a competitive sucker now.

Yeah. And rightfully so. He's one of the best of all time. Yeah. So if he's like, dude, I'm slinging it. I'm good. He ain't going to just bow out, right? Like that's going to be a fight.

So I don't know. That's, they're in a precarious spot. I don't. I think Foles would be more of a guy to like, hey, I got you to six. and four, seven and three, totally understand. I understand the circumstances. Go for it, Carson, you know, and they're cool already. So whatever.

And you could almost end up with a reverse fold situation where we get cars. It really could be like, you know, the inverse of what happened a few years ago. I'm not saying this was going to happen. I have to qualify that, but it's fun to think about it. That would be a hell of a prediction. That would be crazy. I would cut the part when I share, you know, just take off the part where you're like, maybe not.

Yeah, I know. Just like everybody else in the NFL media. So last quarterback question here, Kirk Cousins, he's made news about the vaccine thing. I'm not going to get into whether somebody who should or should not. I have already. Kirk Cousins is going to have to presumably travel differently. He's going to have to eat differently. He's going to have to spend time differently than most of the players on his team.

Can you lead a team and be in a different room for lunch in a different section of the plane, like et cetera it's going to be hard it's going to be really hard and that's it's it's a touchy deal now because you got to respect you respect everybody's decision on this thing and listen you get the backs you don't okay that's totally your opinion but now if you go through the flowchart of yes you get the back to or no you don't okay no you don't now what that now what is are some difficult hurdles to overcome right and that kind of separation from a group that has to become a family, it's hard. It's hard.

It's going to put a strain on some of those relationships on, you know, I mean, you saw Coach Zimmer in the press conference the other day just sweating bullets up there and wanting to be upset, but at the same time having to respect what what his feelings are on this vaccine. And it's, man, that is a rough go because there's plenty of other guys that are looking And I'm like, yo, dude, like, then you're not bought in, you know? And that's not totally fair to say. But that's just a natural feeling for something like that.

So, I mean, I feel for the guy. That's, you know, nobody's saying you have to get it. But if you don't, there's kind of some steep. There's clearly some issues as you move forward and try and navigate this season. In some ways, you could argue more strict than last year because of whether, you know, what people think about it or what, you know, new information about this virus and all. all that. It's a little more strict than even last year. Yeah. So that's, um, that's heavy stuff. And it's, you know, especially as the numbers climb of people, hey, well, he did it and he did it. Well,

why not you? You know, he's going to constantly have to deal with that. And then, I don't know, man. It's hard to imagine. It's just hard to imagine, you know, like, hey, and I'm not saying, you know how I feel about like, hey, it's common sense, whatever to get the vaccine. I know some people have other opinions. I just feel like this is this is not going to be good for the football team. You could position player you could overcome it but like when it's somebody who's supposed to be leading the team it's going to be tough. I really do think that. All right so mark is going to be back soon. He just said it. He's going to be back soon. You know, I'm really excited to see him on TV. I really am. I'm just this is great psyched for you man. Congratulations.

Congratulations and hope you come back soon, dude. Thanks for spending a few minutes. Appreciate it. Thanks, guys. All right, buddy. See ya. Squantz was great. Was he not? He wasn't not. No, he was. You know what I'm saying? Yeah, I feel you. Squantz is always rock solid. He's a pro.

And I really do think, no BS. He's going to be good. He's going to be good. He's going to be really good. We're going to have a really rich friend soon. Yeah. Like maybe Tony Romo rich. Yeah, like he's going to get so rich that you're going to think about doing it. Maybe I should just try to like marry squatch and then divorce him. Yeah. Like Mark Brunel's daughter did.

What? No, she didn't. No, that's made up. Yeah. How about that? Mark Brunel says, nah, I can't meet my daughter. Then. In real life, pizza parties.

Yeah. I say it's time for good, bad, ugly now. We've waited long enough. You guys are still here with us. So, there's so much good. So much good. I've actually, uh, I know a little something. about your good. I have a buddy who said he listened to your

voice note preamble to a recent pod and has purchased MLB the show because of you. MLB the show is addictive. I'm in AAA ball last night. My player Rob Kohler got called up. What are you laughing at? The first I'm hearing of this. You know you don't listen to the pod. I am familiar with the show once upon a time. Listen, I've been playing hours of this game, so I bought PlayStation 4. Well, I didn't buy it. My brother Kyle bought me a PlayStation 4 like two years ago.

And I've always been an Xbox guy. Kyle got me a thing. It sat in a box because, you know, just as it would be hard for you to switch consoles in your domicile. It was for me. It's a big leap of faith. When Kyle got injured, I thought, hmm, he's playing MLB the show a lot. I'm going to be a good brother.

I'm going to unbox the PS4 that he got me. This is almost like serendipity. This is like why he got me. Did I use that correctly? It's why he got me the PlayStation. Like this is fate. I'm going to help him get through a tough, you know, redacted amount of weeks on the couch

before he comes back for the, the McDonald's men, the red and the yellow. So anyways, I've been playing it for a month and I haven't played Kyle once. I've just been selfishly hammering away at my created player

and something called Road to the Show. You start off with nothing. and you got to build your way up, bootstraps. Kyle strikes me as a PS5 guy at this point. Are they compatible? Did they speak to each other? Here's the thing. PS5, people are like mugging each other for these things.

That's what I hear, yeah. PS4 seems plenty clear to me. And anyways, my guy, Rob Kohler, not named after a toilet. Got it. Yeah, it's after a buddy of mine named Rob Kohler. Shout out to Rob. He's crushing the rock and he's in AAA, Albuquerque, isotopes. Oh nice. Does he have your measurables or somebody else's?

He's short, girthy, you know, powder keg type build. Kind of like you, yeah. Not reflective of my friend Rob Kohler who's built like a fucking brick shit house. He's more long and lean. He's more of an athletic build. But Rob Kohler, the show rendition is shorter, stockier. Congrats to him getting called up. Yeah. You have any of your stats or? No, I don't really. I just put my head down and hit the ball and try to listen to the coach.

This PS4, you got a PS4? No, I've got nothing. Okay, this PS4, the controller yells at you. Yeah, I don't know if you know that. Taylor's not in his head back there. Fucking, I'll be up there playing at one in the morning, rounding third,

and my third base coach is yelling at me through the controller. Wow. Hard to turn off. Otherwise, great game. Congrats to Rob Kohler. call it up. What organization is it? Colorado Rockies.

Cool. Yeah, yeah, yeah. He did a little spring ball, spring training with those guys. Okay, my good is NBA free agency. That's right. NBA kind of sneaky, got back into my head pictures.

Yeah, that's right. And they were kind of out with the bubble, but with this calendar, it kind of did it for me. And even though I didn't think I was into Milwaukee Phoenix, maybe I was. Nets get Patty Mills for that bench. They'll win the 2000.

22 NBA finals, even though I said the Utah Jazz would win the 2022 NBA finals by virtue of drafting Jared Butler. Bulls primed for the sixth seed in the east after adding Lonzo, DeRosen, and Caruso to go along with Levine and Vouch. Caruso. Yeah, but he's the Caruso. Oh, got it. That's a nickname.

Next level, huh? Oh, my God. Miami Hedad, Kyle Lowry and PJ Tucker, next in Jimmy Butler and Duncan Robinson. Has anybody ever gotten more, I don't know, whatever you want to call it. I don't want to be harsh here, but has anybody got more buns off the court or the field, presumably, with a badly receding hairline, like, that they're just, they're not bicking? Oh, definitely. You think? Yeah.

I think playing in L.A., winning a title there and, like, having the audacity to just, like, let it grow is pretty, bold and I don't think it really it really slowed them down off the court. I don't know, just a thought. Maybe like a Clyde Frazier. Oh, for sure. But, you know, I was more talking about like just the white guy. Okay. Okay. I mean, I, it's hard to imagine. I can't think of another guy who's just accepted the invisible barber. Are we talking about athlete or can it be anybody? Athlete. Okay. Because Kelsey Grammer probably did numbers in the cheers years. Yeah, he probably did. I got to think. I'm talking about Alex Caruso and that,

let me look at this thing here real quick. The headband works. The headband works. You know he always has a hat on a club. You know what, though? He started to shave it. He did start to. Yeah.

Yeah, I forgot about that. Good for him. For a long time there. He was just letting it go. Nah, what do you mean good for him? What are we calling this? A horseshoe in the back? Yeah, he...

That's got to come back. Man, that's a good look. You think he should just let it grow? Yes. Absolutely. The Bick has had its moment. It's been a couple decades now with the Bick. Jordan probably brought in the Bick. It's time to bring back the Friar thing. Hey, Alex Caruso's jacked. Yeah, dog. He's also got bunnies. I don't know what that is. Hey, hops. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah. We're going to talk about the Lakers in a second.

Yeah. Okay, your New York Knicks have added Kimball Walker and Evan Fornier and Nerlin's Noel. Hey man, congrats. That sounded like an eight seed to me. Hey, the Knicks, they have some players I've heard of. Yeah. That's right. I don't know what to make of it. I'm not going to devote my energy to it, though. I'm not going to get my hopes up. Not until at least next year's playing tournament.

We're 10 games out in May. Okay. Sons keep Chris Paul, jazz keep Mike Conley. NBA low key kind of back. Yeah, it is kind of. And the LA Lakers are making headlines. The Lakers are making headlines. And what did, what did LeBron say? Because the team is old.

I mean, objectively old. And like, for us to point this out, I'm sorry, if LeBron James ever accidentally listens to this shitty podcast, I don't know, I'm trying to be less self-deprecated. Good podcast. This really good podcast. If, like, LeBron James ever hears us talk,

like we're joking, okay? We're just joking. Your team is old. Like you, you, you're collecting old guys. At King James on Twitter. Quote, keep talking about my squad, our personnel ages. Is that what he meant? Do you mean our personal ages or our personnel ages?

Yeah. Okay, like the ages of our personnel. Yeah, the ages of the personnel. Okay. Sorry, Braun. Our personnel ages, the way he plays, he stays injured. We're past our time in this league, et cetera, et cetera, et cetera. do me one favor all caps please and i mean please prayer prayer prayers

keep that same narrative energy all caps energy that's what i didn't get the narrative energy keep that same narrative energy when it begins that's all i ask hashtag thank you uh crown emoji listen i don't think anybody's saying they're going to be trash i just think they're going to miss the entire season because of load management now have you has it dawned on you what all of these old guys ages are. About our age? 36. Yeah, dude. There are age. But we're not running around on a basketball court right now. You know what I mean? So again,

LeBron, sorry, we're going to tell some Lakers jokes. It's fucking, it's fun, dude. It's fun. I'm glad you signed all these guys. Can you run down the roster please? Russell Westbrook. Le Brons Jane. Wayne

Ellington, Anthony Davis, Mark Gassol, Carmelo Anthony, Dwight Howard, Trevor Ezae, a THT, he's a young buck. Kent Baysmore. Yeah, Bayesmore's younger, but he's probably 30 now, right? Yeah, Malik Monk, or as Bill Simmons would say, Mike, Kendrick Nunn, that's basically the squad.

Yeah, man, like, there's a lot of old heads on that team, you know? Like, I don't think anybody's counting you out or saying that you're, you're not the goat. Yeah, but guys, don't let these jokes get you down. Yeah. Because you might not get back up. Ha! There's been a lot of buzz about the LA Lakers, but they don't listen.

They can't hear it. Woo! The Lakers are so old when they entered the league, the Dead Sea was just getting sick. Oh, what did you do a Dead Sea joke? And you nailed it. You nailed it. Well, the Lakers win a championship or shit the bed.

It depends. That's a type of joke. Yeah. LeBron? More like LeBorn a while ago. That came from my brain. That's an original.

I came from my brain. The Lakers are so old when Frank Vogel says, get back and play defense, the Lakers say, Coach, we can't do both. It's amazing. I don't get it. I don't either,

but that's what's so funny about these. We said we're going to write some Lakers jokes. If you ever watch Norm McDonald, who wrote that joke, or whatever. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Like, I was thinking about it, and I was hoping we'd be that funny,

but we're not. Oh, I don't know. Did you hear the LeBron-Laborne one? Yeah, that was funny. Okay. But some of the funniest jokes on there are the ones you don't get. Yeah. Reed, explain it.

We'll get back and play D. Yeah, it's hard to do. Like run the floor. Okay, this is good. Now the floodgates are open. L.A. can be a tough commute home. But the Staples Center is only seven miles from the Libreia tar pits. Wait, let me try that again.

LA. You guys don't know what the Libraia tar pits are. Oh, I believe that their natural asphalt, which is seeped up from the ground in this area for tens of thousands of years near Hancock Park. And there's dinosaurs in there. Which was formed in urban Los Angeles. I don't know. I tried.

You know what that makes me think of? That makes me think of El Cerrito Place by Kenny Chesney. El Cerrito Place. Yeah, they're saying LeBrella in there. He references LeBreya. I wonder if he's been to the tar pits. That's where a bunch of dinosaurs are buried. Hey, coach Frank Vogel says, listen to Kenny Chesney's El Cerito Place and get back and play defense.

And the Lakers say, hey, we can't do all that stuff. That's three things. Because we're old as shit. The listening part. The Lakers are so old When Moses split the red sea They got stuck In the middle on their banana boat

Oh nice He weaves some topical stuff into another sea joke How many sea jokes do we have The Lakers get team prostate checks They get a discount The prostate guy That's good Hey, the title of their documentary for this season.

Yeah. Grumpy old men. Am I right? The only place you see this many old people sitting on a bench is on C-SPAN. The only other place. Fuck, I forgot a word. That's good. Words matter.

It worked. It worked. The Lakers cold tubs have side doors. You ever see the people on TV with the side doors? I wanted to make a fucking stairway chair. joke so bad but I feel like people don't know what those are called they're called chair lifts

chair lifts that's how they get from the parking lot to the locker room you know how the you know they always have a camera in LeBron's face they're all going to be riding a fucking chairlift down into the bowels of the Staples Center this year that's not a joke it's an observation the Lakers nutrition

team had to hire a fiber specialist little stuffed up I don't let me piggyback Let me piggybacker, cowboy. No, Gatorade coolers on the bench. It's a bunch of prune juice.

This replay bought, this repair, I can't, looking at you, I got to tell, I can't tell a joke looking at somebody. This replay brought to you

by Life Alert. Mm. Yeah. The Lakers' playoff hopes have died of old age with everyone on the team. that's funny not really

no it's good all right we got a couple in there are we out of jokes oh for sure okay read you out of jokes yeah yeah two dead sea yeah two dead sea jokes

he had 60.666 remaining what do they call that remaining yeah the remaining line what is that called at 0.666 the mark of the devil mark of the beast

two out of three of his jokes for dead sea repeating. Is that what you said? Yeah. Yeah. We got a couple good ones in there. That's our bad. I got a little bad for you. Aerosols containing COVID-19 can travel as easily as the smoke from a cigarette.

Said a guy named Michael Osterholm, who I see on the news. Seems like a good cat. Or, for instance, like a joint or a doobie or a roach or a white owl or a cone or any of these other terms that I now know. If you want to understand what an aerosol is, just think of somebody smoking. If you can smell a cigarette or a joint or a duby or a roach or a cone or a white owl in the location you're at, not great grammar, then you're breathing someone else's air that may have the virus in it. I got a better idea. Find a way to make COVID smell. Get on it, scientists. If you can make COVID smell, we could just smell people with COVID and you keep your distance. Because of this, mask mandates are making a return in more cities.

Now, a little bit of goods sprinkled into my bad. Alabama, Arkansas, Louisiana, Florida, the seven-day average of daily doses is more than than what it was three weeks ago. So we're getting there. And one 1,000th percent of fully vaccinated Americans are dying after a COVID-19 breakthrough case, CDC data shows. So get vaccinated and we're good. Yeah, listen.

Was that guy like a doctor or something? Yeah. I don't know if I'm listening to doctors. Oh, that's good. I'd rather listen to maybe like a former SEC football coach turned politician or a former AR-15 wielder in the suburbs of St. Louis turned politician or maybe just some other fuck job. Yeah.

Maybe just local idiot turned politician. Yeah, I don't know about a doctor. Ron DeSantis. I'd rather, do you have anybody that, like, mose lawns that can weigh in on COVID? I'd rather listen to that guy. Anyways, ugly, ugly, it's going to hit close to home for you. It's not your face. Do you want me to go first then?

Go ahead. Because I'm going to the great state of New York as well. Oh, are you going to like eight mile your giants? Nah. Are you ready? Because this was, hey, a very serious topic, but my guy, all right, the governor of New York requested an investigation into allegations. that he had sexually harassed multiple women.

Yesterday, the state's attorney general's office announced findings of at least 11 credible accusations. So that's no good. But our guy, Andrew Cuomo, then records a video of himself, which literally includes a slide show of pictures of him touching people inappropriately. Incredible. He was saying, look, I do this all the time, not just the times you're alleging. What a strategy.

I've got some quotes. There are hundreds, if not thousands of. photos of me touching people. Then he goes, white people, black people, young people, old people, straight, gay, friends, strangers, people I meet on the street. Another quote, in response to one allegation, here's the quote, I don't remember doing this, but I'm sure I did. Listen, Jeffrey Dahmer, what's your defense? Well, here I have an external hard drive of of a thousand more people I've killed. Exactly.

I should walk. Listen, there's a way to hug somebody without being creepy. There's a technique to it. There's a, like, not our guy, okay? Not our guy. Not our guy. And it's fucking, just get them out of there. Slide show?

He said, I do kiss people on the forehead. I do kiss people on the cheek. I do kiss people on the hand. I do call people sweetheart or darling or honey. unexpected hickies like what's next i hey listen the guy was showing presidents hugging victims of hurricanes i mean he went that deep into his bag we live in a fucking crazy world man just an all-time defense all-time defense and are they talking about it on you know that that uh quomo show on cnn ed yeah yeah i think he's involved somehow is he like a cover-up of sorts yeah

Oh, boy. Helping his brother out. Yeah, I don't watch the news for many of those reasons. I mean, this is adjacent to, hey, I'm really sorry for being homophobic, and that is a drive into deep left field, and it's going to be a home run by Castellanos. Castellanos. Yeah. I love that guy. Is he going to make an appearance again soon?

Right. This was like, I'm very sorry for the findings of this investigation, but I've done many more things than what you're saying I've done. So this is just scratching the service. Tuesday. All right, slightly less ugly, but still ugly. The New York Giants.

America's team. Yeah, Joe Judge, man, New York. It's a little ugly up there. You got guys just retiring, impromptu retiring.

I really respect that. I was on Pat McAfee's show earlier, and we were talking about this a little bit. Looney, one of your former giants who retired this week. There were a few. Story career in East Rutherford.

I mean, there's nothing I respect more than somebody who walks out of a building because they've had enough. Because most guys are afraid to make that move. Most guys are afraid to make that call. I've talked about this before. I've been afraid when I wanted to retire and played an entire season after wanting to have retired. I mean, like, I've been there where you just want to run out of the facility because you hate it so much. This guy did. You might want to clarify that a bit.

Are you saying that you won two Super Bowls and then stayed a year longer in Philadelphia? Yeah, I stayed one year too long. Because you wanted to be out of there. I did want to retire in training camp. I've said this before if you listen to the podcast. Let's make some news. No, we're not making any news.

But, you know, I've stood there in physicals like, what the fuck am I doing here? Like, why am I here? And for Looney there, after he gets caught in the bottom of a pile below, like a scrum involving the quarterback, he's stuck next to Danny Dimes at the bottom like, with fucking, you know, a bunch of 300 pounders weighing him down. And then he runs a lap or whatever else they're doing up there.

And he's like, fuck this shit. I'm out. Like in half-baked. Fuck you, fuck you, fuck you. You're cool. I'm out. You've seen that movie. I actually have.

I don't remember that that particular lines from that particular movie. Thank you for the education. Yeah. So I respect that because a lot of coaches, what they say is if you don't like it here, then leave. And then they do. And then the coach is like, where are you going? I think that's great.

You know, that's what the coach asked for. The only thing I don't love about the Joe Judge thing up there, you know, I've been a Joe Judge supporter on the record. You know that. You can attest to that. When he got hired and people freaked out, I was like, he's going to be a good little coach, man. Like, he's got, you know, people he's learned from that are prolific.

He's got a special team's background. He's hard-nosed. He's cool. but this running lap shit is over the top with the coaches the players running laps hey do what you do you know it's not my cup of tea but you're the you're the head coach when you make other coaches run laps i said this earlier if i was an assistant coach on that team i wouldn't be for long you know but i guess when your life's works wrapped up in it and another grown man makes you run laps like a child uh you're okay you're okay with it what are your options

And that's the reason. I just, I don't like the coaches running laps thing. I never have. You know, Parcells, I think used to do it back in the day. I think maybe Bill did it before. I don't remember.

Shoot, Popovich just did it. Get ready for the Olympics. I think Al Groh did. He made the coaches run laps. Yeah, well, laps around. Including himself. Well, as long as you run the lap too, was Joe Judge running the lap?

I don't know. Okay. Well, also Greg Popovich is running those fuckers around a little quarter. court, you know, and eight, 100 degrees. But there are a lot of lines on them courts, and you can go there and bad. There's a lot of lines and there's a,

but also former NBA players who are coaching and that type of thing, like their bodies aren't as beat up as these former, NFL coaches are like shot. Their bodies are shot, especially if they played. And a lot of them are old. I just don't feel like that's the move. But yeah, my ugly is how things are going up in Giants Camp. Maybe it yields some success this year.

I thought they'd, again, I thought they did a great job last year defensively. Everything hangs on Danny Dimes, man. I mean, Patrick Graham, awesome, okay? Like, got a lot out of a little, but everything goes with the quarterback. So as many lapses, you want guys to run, this, that, and the third. At the end of the day, you've got to get the quarterback to hold on to the pigskin and throw it to the players on his team. And I think you'll be all right.

Yeah, I won't bore you with quotes from Logan Ryan, James Bradbury, Sterling Shepard, all of them saying, hey. We love to run laps. We're cool with this environment. Right. But they're not the coaches. That's the part that I don't get. I don't get making coaches run.

I just don't. Okay. And then we've got Jason Garrett doing the call me coach thing. Did you see that today? Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Came back, strolled up to the podium. He's leaning on it with two hands.

And I love Jason Garrett. I love the Garrett's big fans. Again, I got to say this every time, because God knows if a quote pops, people are going to think I hate these people, but I love Jason Garrett. That family's all class. I'm sorry, whether it's Dion or Jason Garrett, and I had to wait until somebody else did it because I didn't want anybody to like jump on me for, you know, because the Dion thing, it was kind of flammable because the other guy was kind of being a dick. You know, the Jason Garrett thing was he just strolled up to the podium and somebody was like, great to see you, Jason.

and he was like, you know, we call each other coach here. So this is from Pat Leonard on Twitter. Jason Garrett just told us to call him coach as he walked off the podium. He said, good to see you guys. We said, good to see you in person, Jason. We say, good to see you, coach. That's how we do it. He said, oh yeah, hashtag giants.

Indeed, hashtag giants. I don't like this trend. I don't give a fuck what you want to be called. like as a coach you know i you don't call me mr long you don't call me player people call me chris at the podium i don't get that i really don't i'm sorry i didn't get it when dion did it i don't get it now it just seems so self-important it seems so self-important hey jason you said good to see you guys there are women in the crowd i'm guilty of that one yeah i know but What I'm saying is glass houses, man.

I hear you. Yeah, I'm with you on that. Glass houses, coach. Especially when these coaches are called coach in every single situation for the rest of their lives. It just seems like you got a hard on for authority there, like to be, to be powerful, man. Like, you got a, Jason's a fine name. Dion's a fine name. You'll get over it.

Like if one of these guys comes on the pot, I have to call him coach. Yeah. Yeah, I can't do it. For sure. There's enough coaches out there I could have on and call him B-Flow or, you know, do I have to call Joe Douglas GM? It's just such a, it's, it's, it's lame. I'm not into it. We're into the Olympic Minute with Cowboy Reid here.

Everybody knows we boycott the Olympics. And Cowboy Reid's been on it. He's had his finger on the pulse out there in Tokyo. Is that the Olympic song? Wow, wow, wow. Yeah, but. I thought that was like the base. You start with that bass.

I thought it was the royal family's entry music or something. Shows you how much Olympics I've watched. Cowboy Reed. Yeah. You've been watching the Olympics. You didn't boycott it. No, I've been watching on the Olympics and gold medals and stuff. That checks out.

That doesn't sound like the cops at all. I've been keeping my eye on. A little fellow. Hello, fellow Olympic watchers. I did, I want to admit something. I broke the protocol. I broke the boycott the other night. I found myself watching diving.

That's a sport I could call. I think I could literally walk out of this chair into the diving booth. I've seen none of it this year and I know if you don't have much of a splash, that's good. Yes. Quite literally, the guy did too many somersaults

and didn't have enough time to like, you know, re-center himself. And I'm listening. and I'm like, I could call this dive just as well as the person on TV. Oh, good dive. Something like that.

Exactly. Or, ooh. Not seeing much splash there. Big splash. Bad dive. Probably not going to get it done. Hey, Reed. Hey.

You got some stuff to say about the Olympics. I'm calling an Olympic minute. We're already done with the minute. But let's extend this thing because I'm open-minded. I think I'm going to watch the Olympics the rest of the way. Let's give out some medals of our own. Okay. How about Reed? How about you start? Gold, Simone Biles. She comes back after the twisties and after sitting out and withdrawing from a few events, she comes back and wins bronze in the balance beam.

Simone Biles, who captures the bronze medal, her seventh. We love Simone Biles here. We're Simone Biles supporters. We are all aware that people have mental health issues from time to time. well and short of mental health issues we get the yips yeah i get the yips with people uh sitting in this chair oh i get the yips a lot and i'm not balancing on a tiny beam like yeah somersaults through the air and i'm not reducing what she's going through to the yips but um yeah i'm i'm with the cowboy that was cool as hell for her to come back and and compete she would think it's the best thing for the country that's what she's doing and the best thing for herself and that's the most important thing. But yet people still had a problem

with it. I don't get it. I really don't. I mean, it's not like she actually got a gold medal for like taking some mental health time. Like she sat out and she lost her opportunity to compete in a few events. I didn't get the big uproar about it. And you saw the support from her teammates.

You saw the support from other professional athletes. Raphael Nadal gave her a ton of support. That was my gold medal. It's almost like other athletes know that it's tough to be an athlete. and could probably project the fact that it's really tough to be an athlete on that grand of a stage. So, yeah, great.

You're silver. Tamira Mensa Stock of the United States has won an Olympic gold medal. Tamira Mensa Stock. She won the gold in wrestling. She's a team USA member, and she's the first black woman to ever win an Olympic gold medal in wrestling for Team USA. That's awesome. Do you think she could body slam making? of us, yes.

Okay. Is it any of us? Okay, bronze. Gutsy and golden. Zander Shafley is an Olympic champion. Bronze goes to Xander Shafle. He won the Olympic golf tournament. Yeah.

Made two big putts on the final hole. He's getting bronze. His father was a heptathlete for Germany. And he had Olympic dreams. He was in a car accident. and lost vision in one of his eyes. And so he was no longer able to compete. Zander was the guy who lost the one golf tournament that we watched.

He was really classy about it. I mean, they put the microphone in his face right after. So yeah, great, awesome. That's a lot of sports going on. His father's his swing coach. And he evidently took the gold medal after it was awarded to Zander and just took it the rest of the day. and the rest of the night.

Make what you got. My gold medal goes to that live watermark scorebug thing under the NBC logo. If it says live, I'm into it. If it doesn't say live and I can go get the result on the internet, you know what I'm saying? The websites? Yeah. I don't care to watch it.

I don't care about these Olympics, in part because of the irredeemably corrupt IOC. But I do find certain competitions and grossing. the table tennis, for instance, volleyball at times. Swimming is typically fire. Haven't been able to find the swimming this year. But this time around the time zone is a problem. The hodgepodge NBC programming, Chris, is a problem.

The interrupting of events to tell me a 10-minute story about how an athlete's grandfather died three years ago. That's a problem. I don't need these sob stories, okay? interspersed with my competitions give me the competitions and the lack of live events for the east coast and primetime for me is a problem last night i was watching and tariko goes that was the four by 100 relay we'll get back out to the track soon but first we want to take you back to last night in the women's 400 meter semifinal mike i watched that last night why are you giving that to me again at 930p on the east

i watched that give me a live event i don't care what it is i want to see it live and i understand that i'm on the other side of the world. You're still giving out a gold medal here? Yeah, so I'm giving the gold medal to that live watermark, wordmark watermark under the NBC logo. My silver is this long jump. The long jump really fucks with people in their minds. You see cats, they do the big run up to the sand and some just run right through the sand without attempting the jump.

some stumble into the jump and jump about two feet. You might remember my seven foot broad jump. I do. I do. A lot of people remember that. By the way, yeah. My silver medal just goes to that event because it's,

it's, it's bonkers, all right? Because, you know, you have the people jumping far. That's legit. But people also,

you want to talk about twisties and yips, people get to that sand. The guy that hit his face on the sand. How lava? Your deal, yeah. But you saw that one. I did.

I did just talking about, yeah. I mean, like the guy face planted on the sand. sand and they just raised that red they lowered that flag like so fucking it just buried him who's bringing up the rear for you yeah my bronze medal goes to the potential uh bronze medalist slovenian basketball team men's hoops team uh they will square off against australia for the bronze gold medal game will be u.s against france i'm doing that all off the top of my head because i'm a

big olympics guy uh the slovenian team features a friend of mine his name is mike toby he's also a fellow countryman he's an American yeah it's weird yeah but playing for the Slovenia team how do you get on the Slovenian team if you're American do you just be like hey I could pass like I'm yeah nobody really knows you look like every European yeah could you grow a beard before the Olympics perfect you're on the team he got like a Slovenian passport I'm told there's a rumor of like a way back family tree somebody being from Slovenia but it it is weird there's no doubt about that but fellas like a double-double machine. I think he scored 23 in the game this morning,

hour this morning. They came at one point short against France. But hey, if I'm Mike, I'm saying Luca, maybe a 10-day, I don't think 10 days exist anymore, maybe a 10-day with the Dallas Mavericks. I mean, we've been running the pick-and-roll, like gangbusters. We've known each other since the Lakers were born.

In Tokyo for two weeks, might get a medal here. Maybe cubes can give me a shot. Shout out. So the Slovenian men's basketball team, Chris, gets my bronze. Okay, okay. Well, my gold is going to go to, I'm just making sure I get all the names right, because obviously I watched the Olympics. My gold is for Sifon Hassan.

Did you see this thing? Like legitimately, one of the most remarkable things I've seen athletically. No. Last lap, I think it's like the 400 or something, Reed. What is it? It was the 1500. 1500, even it's a lot of meters. So she's tired.

It's the last lap. Somebody trips her. Defad Hassan going from on the track to cross the line first in a matter of about 62 seconds. She's down on the track, gets up, and just hawks the entire group. It was basically a Chumbabwamba situation. Decaf, Metcalf. I get knocked down. You remember that?

But I get up again, I actually have a little dance to it. I actually do the shovel to that. And I do a couple other things. Yeah, but I mean, it was incredible. She decaf, metcalfed, everybody else on the little track there. And she did it after she got Chamba. So shout out to her gold metal. And then she turned around 11 hours later and won the gold in the 5,000 meter.

5,000 meters. Ridiculous. Hey, by the way, shout out to a fast hurtling white guy. my goodness when I was like people were raving about this guy that ran through the hurdles

Parsden Warholme Oh yeah that cat I was like what's his name he won a race that had to do with being fast silver for me

is going to be Uzbekistan's Oxana Chusovitina Chusavitina Chusavitina She's she just wrapped up

her eighth Olympic game Eight times four is 32. Yep. She was competing five years before Simone Biles was born. She's 46. Yeah, dude. She's incredible. Like the Lakers remember when she first came on the scene.

But I mean, that's insane. You talk about people work their whole lives for something, and they have a quick window. And then it's like on to the next talented person because there's people waiting in the wings. This woman has competed for eight Olympics. And represented five different teams. Five different countries?

Yeah. She's like a... She's a hired hand. Yeah, she's a mercenary. She's an Olympic mercenary. And I just, I got a lot of respect for it. She gets my silver medal. The bronze for me is going to be.

I'll give the bronze to the hurdle white guy, the fast, the fast white guy on the hurdles. Warholme has just blood. Like, incredible. Why has he got to be white? Well, he doesn't have to be. And usually he's not. So this is why it's remarkable. I just like,

I just could not believe that the cat that everybody was screaming about on Twitter for being fast. I was like, is this a misprint? He sounds Norwegian. Oh, he's American. And he's definitely not American. Okay. He's on the American team. Is he not?

I don't know. Because I feel like I watch that one. Feel all you want. I'm the Olympic expert. He is Norwegian. He's Norwegian? That was the Olympic minute. Also, Japanese American surfer.

honorable mention for him. That guy translated for the other guy. Really cool. Stephen A. Smith didn't like it though. He lost to a dude, and then the dude only spoke Portuguese or didn't speak English, and so people are rifling English questions at him, and he's, like, standing there with him after losing to dude and translating the questions. I thought that was really cool.

Olympic Minute. All right, that was good. I'm going to watch the rest of the Olympics. A few more weeks. in that thing? Yeah, like a day or two, I think. Oh, fuck. They do that quick, huh? I remember when we kids, it felt a lot longer. It's a fortnight of sorts. Olympic games. Did it used to be longer? I don't think so. Do I write 2020 or 2021? Oh, we're going to August 8th, so you got a good, you got to go two, three more nights. I'm Gucci. I'm going to be watching the fuck out of this

athletic competition. Hey, uh, Dr. Fax is here. Come on in, Dr. Faxx. Dr. Fax. So we've entered the C block of this show now, and Dr. Fax is here. He's in his, he's got a microphone, a chair. I wish it was named the microphone up when you talk. I wish it was named the D block section. Exactly. That's what we call a segue at this business, dude.

You know, shout out to the locks. Shout out to the locks, right, May. We can subtract C. We can go A, B, D. There are no rules in the Studio J. We should go D block from where on out. Yeah. Shout out to the 9-14.

Shout out to the 9-14, baby. Hey, it's a good week for the 9-14, of which I'm not a part, but I love the locks. And me and Nate were on here talking about this versus battle, which happened the other night. I looked up in the fourth quarter of this thing when Jada was up 25 to 2. Bro. And there's 500,000 plus people watching this thing on Instagram. Bro, so I watched it on Triller, not on Instagram. That app is difficult.

It's very difficult. But it was the only thing that was easy to beam to my TV so I can watch it like that versus on the phone or on the laptop. The show was unreal to me. I think it was unbelievable. I think it was so entertaining. It's something that if I had paid money for that, I would have been totally fine with it. But it was very, very lopsided. And honestly, it's what I kind of thought was going to happen.

A lot of people really got to see that. that the locks as a group, they're three MCs. They're three MCs that they can really move a crowd, control a crowd, like perform very, very, very, very well. And Dipset, not that they're not good, they're recording artists. They're less of a team. They're less of a team.

So less. Legitimately that to me, if I paid money for it, you talked about pay-per-view. Like if I watched a fight that was that lopsided, I'd feel ripped off. But because the team that I was rooting for won and the way they won. And dude, to me, coming away from it, you knew they were a team, but that was the whole thing to me was you're looking at one group that was a team that practiced

that took it serious and the other that was there to make money. There's nothing wrong with the other thing. It's almost like Dipset didn't practice and they misgaged the environment of like what it would be like. And it was like they were in trouble immediately. As soon as Jada wrapped over over Big's beat. So the great thing about that, so the greatest thing about that, that freestyle that he did over the Ready to Die beat. Yeah.

That's a freestyle that's like probably like 25 years old. Mm-hmm. So he originally did that freestyle when he was a teenager. And I'm pretty sure Jada Kis is in his 40s now. I'm pretty short too. Or high 30s. Yeah. But I think he's in his 40s.

To watch him do that freestyle, word for word, for word, no mess ups, and just kind of like watches aura, and it's kind of like watching an athlete, like your moment. Like, I'm about to cook out here. I'm about to get this person one-on-one and catch this pass on you for a touchdown,

and it was just flawless. And it's one of those things, if you're a real like rap fan, to see like one of your favorite emcees, like for me, speaking from my point of view, see one of your favorite emcees in a situation like that for the second time and show up, because

everyone thought Jada Kiss was going to lose the Fabulous. Like this is his second verses that he won in a sense because he went against Fabulous and everyone was like, Fablis is going to kill Jada Kiss and I'm just like, are you guys serious? It was the same thing. We were trying to be cool about it like on the pod the other week. And we were like, because we like dipset. Like we're fans of dipset. Like they got great music.

But we were just like the locks have the edge here. And I couldn't believe some people, even people, you know how confirmation bias makes people defend so hard. Nobody defended Dipset the other night. Like by halfway through there were people like, oh, locks up five two. Lox was up like a touchdown to nothing, dude, like early. And you know when I knew it was over, dude? I'm just telling you, I knew it was over when everybody in Dipset came in wearing sunglasses inside. And Jada and Sheik and Stiles. Yep. Out Roker. Yep. They were, they were ready. You could tell they were prepared. You can tell Jada kiss. as a leader that he had everyone prepared.

And it just showed. And but what it really showed, there's levels. There's levels to stuff. And it's not to write dipset off. It's just that there's levels. And the locks as a group, they're one of the only hip-hop groups

that have never had a public breakup. One of the only ones that's never had a public breakup, never had to do a reconnection. Oh, we're going to come back and do this. No. throughout the entire time they've been around and like I was saying earlier just to see them do some of the tracks flawlessly the first track they did fuck you that track it's off the album we are the streets yeah it dropped in 2002 or something 2000 yeah that's that's 21 years ago

well you can tell they practice they took it seriously but they probably already they know all their bars yeah and they also like they're better at work in the crowd and they're They had like their finger on the pulse there. Like, but what's funny to me is that I thought it would be a lot closer for the simple fact. They're on tour together right now. Right. That's the thing. So it's something where I'm not saying that every artist like if you pay attention to the people you're on tour with.

I know you have separate times and you're probably doing different things to get ready. But at some point, I would think you would probably pay attention to their show or see their set or see how they're doing stuff. So that would probably help you in a way. and I just feel like Jadicus probably did do that, and they used that to their advantage, like from the top to bottom. So what is it, would you say? Second time I've explained this this week. That you guys are talking about.

It's a versus. So like over the pandemic and stop me if I fuck this up, Nate, but like there was a time very early when we felt like we were going to be in this thing for five to ten years and we were just all sitting at home looking at social media. People got the idea that it would be great to like run back a lot of these older artists and have them go blow for blow like hit for hit. And they were just literally playing each other's music.

I watched like, I think I watched, was it the Riza and somebody do a verses and Riza wasn't even ready like his audio was all fucked up. It was like super a bootleg early. But there are a lot of fun. And then it like turned into this big event. Now that there's people back, you didn't even fill up MSG but there were a lot of people in there to see this was a big deal so they said something that may play each other's music back and forth one for one like and it's a competition

it's a competition that everybody knows who won it's more of there's no actual judges panel the way they do it it's more of a celebration for the artist it's a way that it kind of for a younger generation or a younger person you watching that show it's something where I'm in my 30s Chris is in her 30s it's kind of the older generation last night or a few nights ago when this went on, it's nostalgic for us, like to hear songs. And it's also stuff that like some of the younger people when you're listening to it, you might hear songs that you know, but like, oh, I didn't know that this group performed this song.

So it's good for the artist because I know there's, um. Streams are up. Yes. Like any artists who, who enters this thing, like their streaming numbers are going. So it's a win for both sides, but it's very, very entertaining. And they're groups, and they're both, like, they're both from New York, different boroughs and that sort of thing. But, like, you know, the locks are from Yonkers, and that's not the powerhouse in hip-hop,

no disrespect. Not Yonkers, but, I mean, hip-hop started in the Bronx, which is like a hip-and-a-scop. I mean, like a rock. I like that. A rock skip and a jump. Yeah, from Yonkers. So it's close, but it's. It's just one of those things that everyone wants to be, quote, unquote, the king of New York.

And, like, when it comes to groups, the locks and dipset are probably the top two. Groups? Like, I would say that... Wu-Tang. Wu-Tang's got the most popularity. For sure. Wu-Tang's got the most, like, group popularity, in my opinion. And they're not, like, commercial music.

I mean, like, because back then, in the 90s and the early 2000s, like, you could be awesome. and respected and sell. And like now I don't think you can do that to the same degree. In New York hip hop just isn't the same. So like that was the golden era. It really was. And so it was really cool. There's a lot of nostalgia and the team we wanted to win one.

You know, like Jada Kiss to me had the mentality of like a fucking athlete. And then he finishes the night in the Kobe jacket pose. Putting the Kobe. Yep. Spilling the champagne. But it was, it was cool. Really honestly seeing a lot. together as stupid as this sounds like for me you know they love athletes musicians

want to be athletes athletes want to be musicians seeing them huddled up and like like like pregame warm up like huddled up and seeing them celebrate afterwards and seeing the fire and jada kiss his eyes during that it made me want to play football again i was like this guy is competing the other guys were there to make money and he's there to compete and i thought it was really cool So I don't, I just think that they were so prepared that it just was like a super blow to dipset as a whole. Like Cameron and Jim Jones. Cam got booed. This is a few days later.

They still haven't, they have been inactive on their social media. Jim Jones has still got that same post to him talking about styles and being petty and shit. And that was the best thing about it is because they, on both sides, but more on the dipset side, mainly Jim Jones did a real. a good job of promoting and hyping this whole thing up. And to have their fans really believing that this was going to be a closer match than it was. Jim, Jim's a businessman. And I think a lot of them probably do get along.

I think there's one or two of them that don't as well. They're on tour together. I know. But I mean, like, I think maybe Stiles and somebody or, it just was a lot. It was a lot of like pumping it up. My favorite line of the whole night was don't scare the white people. It was like, guys, tone it down a little bit. scare the white people. And then my favorite

little sequence was when they were trying to get people off the stage. It was almost midnight and everybody wanted more. And it had gotten like really good. The funniest thing I took from them trying to kick everyone off the stage. The dude from Dipset, Freaky Ziki, was saying, if you're not part of the show, get off the stage.

And at that moment, I don't think he did an entire verse, the entire night. Yeah, bro, he kind of self-owned himself. I hate that for him. But like, honestly, like everybody got out of the way. Like, Stiles did a song or two. Um, Stiles was also, but, you know, he did more. He did more than a song or two, but he didn't do his own songs that much.

No, he did. So I think they played one or two of songs that were style piece songs and like the locks were featured on it. And I think there was maybe one that they played that was just a, I mean, yeah, that was just. But the captains of the two teams were obvious. They're obviously Jada Kiss and Cameron. And Jada just, I mean, the cream rose to the top. And the funniest shit was I was on Instagram scrolling along and Tony Baker, whoever that is, no disrespect.

It's just another name popping up a verified name. He said something funny. He said, Juell Santana woke up at the end of the movie. Juel Santana like didn't say a thing until three quarters the way through. And it was funny because Dipset was obviously down big. And then they played like one of their best hits. I can't remember which one because it's just a flurry of music.

And then Jada was like, I really like that song. I'm glad you waited until you see. suffered defeat. I don't think it was bawling because I don't think balling age that well. Another thing is like the locks is ball in. You know that one. You know that song. But but but the locks they're just more made for that setting like the Dipset's music didn't translate even though they were lip you know they were singing along to their own music and and the locks weren't all that notwithstanding. I think the locks's music just worked better. But I would liken it to they saved their best stuff

for down four touchdowns. They ran a great 15 play drive and then you know Jada. comes back out, says that, and runs the kickoff back. I mean, they get Fat Joe involved, the whole crowds into it. They just had no choice. It was one of the clearest defeats I've seen in a versus. I mean, it has to be the clearest defeat in a versus. And those guys have probably got to hide for a little bit. Cam got booed.

I mean, they can't hide for too long. They're going on to tour together. How awkward is that? You got any questions about this stuff? Yeah, so I guess this reminds me of CMT's crossroads where CMT, country musicians with non-country musicians, like in 2003 when Kenny Chesney was with John Cougar Mellencamp, and they played songs such as Jack and Diane, Young, and others. But wait, wait, wait, wait. No, it's different. Yeah, they're playing songs together, like they're

matching them together genres. Well, yes, matching genres, but playing each other's songs. No. and it's a confluence of this would be more like Kenny Chesney and John Cougar Mellencamp or I'll give you one better like yeah Diamond Rio and Brooks and Dunn would be you know a great country versus so like those two groups of guys

they get on Instagram for a while they fake talk shit about each other they poke fun at each other people aren't sure if they like each other if they're working together they both get paid they get up on stage they go song for song and at the end and they're playing each other's songs. No, they're playing their own songs.

Okay. And they're trying to prove that they're better. Well, it doesn't need much. Does it need that much explaining? Why would they play each other's songs? But they're not playing it. They're just hitting play. But the locks actually...

They actually performed it. They performed. So it's something where, yeah, like how it started because of COVID, it was less than it is now. And now it's turned into something where, yeah it they did a live performance hey how about fat joe's freshly lined up beard at the at the show yeah did you like that yeah that was shout out to his barber right fresh yeah a little too fresh actually i like a little unkept unkempt

is that the word where there's a he probably had a little i live it you know the word i live it Hey, how about Michael Buffer? Yeah, that's a little index card. How about that? So he announced them. He brought them out, both teams. Here's a fun fact that you two might or might not remember. He opened up JPJ in 2006.

Dr. Facts, of course I know that. Okay, and then what happened? I don't know. He goes, and now the starting lineup for your Cleveland, Virginia Cavaliers. Yes, he did. He absolutely did. And I was wondering, does he still get like the full check for that? He was supposed to come on the show a year ago, and I guess...

I tell you one thing. It didn't happen. I tell you one thing. Michael Buffer, I mean, obviously, but he's aging. And his voice does that, let's get ready. Does not sound the same? Here's a question. Who dressed the worst and who dressed the best out there?

Oh, Cam was the best for me. Cam was the best for you? Yeah, Cam's chain of the iconic pink fur photo. I mean, his vanity is inspirational. Do you like that? Yeah. Yeah. I like, dude, I thought Stiles P looked cool.

He just looked cool. I just, he had like, was it a... Making search game is on point. To bring that up because you have no idea about that iconic picture at all. And conversely, Dipsas lack of chemistry. Occasionally made me feel like there were years of tension. them. I mean, it was, uh, you could feel the group's inner turmoil and drama. You could feel the fact that they weren't ready when they all showed up in sunglasses. So, and what is Jimmy whispering

in Jada's ear? Did you all see that? Yeah. A lot of questions remain. I want to say this. Kim Ron kicked Stiles P. People, I, you're sitting in the lawn chair. I think most of that was fuck around. I mean, like when, no, no, no, when Jada kiss took off Juel's headband. No, it was. No, it was Juell's is laughing as he's bumping into him. If anybody was getting along, it was Juell's and, and, and, no, here's this thing. Yeah. They all, they all get along.

They're making money, dude. They're all. Don't scare the white people. It's just like, take it to the edge. But it was so funny because everybody bought that shit. Like, you know how there's like 26,000 likes on a tweet that says, ooh, look at Jada Kiss knocking off Jewels's headband? I'm like, guys, we know how this works, right?

They're not going to do a versus together. Jewels took a lot of L's last night. He took a lot of L's, but Cam took the most. else. And the boo, yeah, the boo's almost bad.

And freaky Zee took L's just for what you said earlier. And also anybody in a sweatsuit took else. It's August. Like,

Joel Santana didn't take off his fucking Louis varsity jacket for three hours. Yo, Jim Jones had on

leather sweatpants. It's terrible. I mean, that guy's definitely got follicitis three days later. Definitely. He was sweating

through his ass. And the locks were going through their hits, rapping over instrumentals easily without vocal assistance, and they had enough of the lack of preparation from their Harlem peers. Yeah. I want to know what website. Although I will say this.

I will say this, though. Summer with Miami was a really nice pull. I really liked that song. It was. So Jim came out looking good. To me, to me, because relative to expectation,

stock down on Cam, even though he's the best rapper out of any of them, stock neutral on Juel Santana to me, even though you said he took L's. Best rapper out of dipset. Out of dip set. Yeah, please. Come on. All right.

You know what I feel. Not five dead or a lot. You know how I fucking feel. We're going to get him on the podcast. We're just going to keep saying it until he comes on the podcast. But I thought that... I have someone I can ask, yo, Tori Thomas. If you see this, yo, hook us up with the hook us.

I got to start this over. Hey, you're trying to sabotage the Jadikis. It's a child. Yeah, sorry. All right. My man, Tori Thomas, he'd be training with Jadikis. Jadikis after the versus the next morning ran eight miles. Bro, the guy's an inspiration right now. Eight miles. In a different way, Action Bronson is doing the same kind of transformation.

Action Bronson's down like a hundo, and he's walking around like Magnus Magnuson. I just showed someone in the barbershop, Action Bronson, because they were talking about they needed motivation. It's a bigger dude. And he was like, man, I just need to lose some weight. And I was like, yo, bro. I was like, you follow Action Bronson? He was like, yeah, he big like me. And I was like, bro.

Not anymore. He's lost. I hate to tell you. He was like, let me see the video. And when he's seen it, he was just like, yo. Dude, listen. And Jada's doing all the stuff at the park that guys do where they like jump up on a bar. And then like, yeah, it's insane.

So good for him. I felt like that was awesome. I got to feel like Jada Kiss has had a lot of awesome moments in a very storied career. But this one's got to be up there. It just felt really significant. But he's the king of verses now. He's the only person to win two verses. He did the single fucking one and now with the group.

He's a fucking legend and you really added a lot to this and I appreciate you. You're welcome. How long a distance was run? Eight miles. And I'm gone. I know right where I'm going. It's all right. It's okay.

Sorry, Mama. I'm grown. I must travel alone. I'm going to make it anyway. Ain't going follow no footsteps. I'm making my own. Gonna make it. Can't give up now.

Only way that I know how to escape from this eight mile road. I'm going to make it something. Somehow. It fax's face. That's a good one to end on. Fax, what is your t-shirt say? Blacks for Arby's.

Shout out to its AD with the No Jumper show. Supporting. Arbys. Arby's. Supporting my fellow. Blacks for Arbys. Which is something that I explained in making is probably not a good shirt for you to read out loud. I won't.

Okay. Hey. Any promotions go promotion. Anything else you got for us this. week before we wrap it up fax um no just excited for

excited for football coming back I am too sort of sort of over over under on Hall of Fame game penalties 15 oh we should do an over under on Hall of Fame game penalties

I don't know if win bet has a line but let's make our own real quick Fax just said 15 15 I'm taking the over Under. How about you, Fax? I'm taking under.

It's going to be 17 penalties tonight. I think it's going to be a rate around 14. I would say seven to nine off start, fall starts. And then, yeah, well, you know, they throw it up. It's probably going to be a lot. It's going to be a lot. It's going to be a lot.

There's a lot of new rules, too. Squanch just told us they can't cut guys at the second level outside the hash is anymore. Some big guys come around. Who's getting cut in preseason, bro? D.Bs. Oh, yeah, maybe. Out in space.

All right, well, we'll be back next week for more football. We're going to talk some more football next week. Chris, it's nice to have you back in Seaville. Thanks. Appreciate it. Y'all take care.