Green Light with Chris Long - NFL Playoffs! Most 'Likable' NFC Playoff Teams. Preseason Predictions Graded. Mailbag: Best Boat Names, Favors You Hate To Grant.

Episode Date: January 8, 2021

(01:12) - Welcome and NFL Wild Card Weekend Plans. (09:11) - Preseason Predictions Graded and Reviewed. (31:09) - NFC Playoff Team Likability. (1:26:53) - Mailbag: Best Boat Names, Favors You Hate To Grant. Sign up for your DraftKings account at https://www.draftkings.com/sportsbook and use promo code : Greenlight Green Light with Chris Long: Subscribe and enjoy weekly content including podcasts, documentaries, live chats, celebrity interviews and more including hot news items, trending discussions from the NFL, MLB, NHL, NBA, NCAA are just a small part of what we will be sharing with you. http://bit.ly/chalknetwork Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Cold open here. Burr! That's an industry term for laying out the show. Here's what's going to happen. You're going to sit down, shut the fuck up, and listen to me and make and talk about football. Faith, family, football, mostly football. Yeah, we're going to rank likeability of the NFC teams

and run back our preseason predictions to see how stupid we were. Spoiler alert, I'm dumb. and a mailbag which you don't have to shut the fuck up honestly we love you so happy Friday everybody

have you ever tried to respond like when somebody says something to somebody else but then it's your cue to say something happy Friday everybody yeah

no I've never had trouble just like okay watch this happy Friday everybody absolutely it is Friday see you come off sounding like an idiot You keep saying it.

I'll just keep making things up. Happy Friday, everybody. Fifth day of the week. Hey, happy Friday, everybody. Actually, being happy this Friday is optional because we live in a wealthy third world country. It's good. It's current. Topical.

Topical ointment. All right. Well, I reckon the show's been started. Yeah, it has. It has. And it's going to be a topical show because one big thing that's going on this weekend. is the NFL playoffs. Oh my gosh, dude.

Yeah. Yeah. That's my favorite part. Dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun. chills. Dun, dun dun. I'm so hype. I don't even know if they play that music before games anymore.

It's just stuck in my head. It's kind of like the sports center theme, like the jazzy sports center theme from the 90s. It'll never be whatever it is now. Yeah, you know what's low-key, high-key electric? Is that NFL primetime just background sounder? Do it. Oh, I can't.

Dun-d-d-d-dun. Oh, yeah. Really good, Chris. That's it. I actually do the thing for them. Oh, is that you? I afforded this studio. I figured it was a big old 50,000-piece band.

No, just me, just my mouth. Nice. Yeah, so I would say best sports weekend behind what we talked about, I guess, a couple weeks ago, first weekend of March Madness. Yeah, and who knew that adding one more team to each conference in the playoffs would make such a difference. Yeah, it's almost like there's two more teams playing the first weekend. Three ball games Saturday, three ball games Sunday. Yeah, it really feels like an event.

Yeah, dude, and there's no gaps, and it's perfect. Two games is kind of depressing. I get sort of like, I don't know, a little bit down because you can almost feel like the season's winding down, the season's ending after the divisional round. It gets the championship weekend, and people love championship weekend, right? It's two games. Have you prepped your family for all day, Saturday, all day, Sunday?

What I'm going to do is after this podcast, I'm going to do what I always do, which is show up. Oh, yeah. I'm going to show up. I'm going to go home. How can I make myself available to you, Meg? Sorry for laughing. I guess I just picture you on a Thursday night right here doing other jobs, you know,

putting food on the table for your family. A lot of times I am putting the juice boxes on the table here late on Thursday nights. That was when there was Thursday night football. No more. So freed up Thursday night, I can do a dual bedtime. dual bed time. Does that mean two kids at once or are they're different bed times? Read them both a book, they're mystified.

At the same time? Same time. One book. Same time, one book. Yeah. Whose bed? Whalen's, it's a race car, is more room. Okay.

Yeah, it's spacious. It's like, it's not like a little Italian race car bed. It's like a full-blown NASCAR race car bed. More room. Bigger, bigger, bigger chasses. Chasses. And then Luke excuses himself when he's lost interest. Yes, exactly. You know exactly how this goes. No, I'm picturing it. Speaking of Thursday night, what's up with Waffle House? You booked that ticket or what? Oh, no, I'm ready to go, man. I'm just kind of being respectful of the novel

coronavirus. Oh, I got you. Yeah. So you'll pay up on that bet in 2020. Oh, I can't. Oh, 2021. I cannot wait. Okay. I just need some people to be vaccinated before I, spend 24 hours in a waffle house. Okay. Not that I'm assuming, you know, vaccination is going to be a hundred percent thing in this country, you know? Yeah. But I'll be there.

Can't wait. Speaking of stakes, yeah, I mean, besides the stuff I talked about in the cold open, which is an industry term, we could also fill out a playoff bracket, couldn't we, today on today's show? Sure. Why not?

Well, I know I can think of one reason why not. Okay. Lovely wives. They would like to be included. You know what? And they enriched the experience. It's not an inclusion thing for me. It's more I just really want them to be a part of it because they're very good at picking games.

Have you spoken about our results? I did. Just edged you out. Yeah, congratulations to you. I was blown away that our households came out even. and Stephen. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's a dead heat.

So the playoff bracket might be a nice little tiebreaker. Yeah, we should probably maybe put something on that as families, not just mono-emano. Okay, okay. A man, a woman. I was going to say that. Did you hear that the other day? No. Dudes were mad about that.

Somebody said, I don't know, somebody said, a woman at the end of a prayer. And it had something to do with something political. And so dudes with red hats got mad and then they stormed the Capitol and said, that's no big deal. I heard about that. Interesting bunch. Let's talk about what we're going to do on the playoff bracket. Yeah, I think we should fill it out. Not right now, but what I'm saying is we go home.

We agree to the terms here, right? No need to clue them into the term negotiation. Okay, right. We're the worker bees, right? Wife alert. Yeah, wife alert. We don't want to encumber them with, they have real responsibilities.

And what are we doing? You just get a point for every correct? I don't know how we're going to do it. That actually would work. Yeah, yeah, yeah. We'll do something like that. We'll get back to you guys. We will release our brackets before Sunday's kick.

Okay. Or Saturday's kick. Golly. Okay. I'd like a golf cart if we win. You want a golf cart? Yeah. If we win, we get, um,

hold on. This is good. This is good. This is good stuff. If we win, you got to keep your hot tub just as it is for five years. Oh my God, dude. That thing is already growing green and black stuff. We might want to take care of that.

Yeah, no kidding. Five years? Three years. You can't come out of the gate asking for a golf cart. Not at all. I want like a street legal, usable golf cart, like one that works. If you're asking for that, I'm going to need, it's going to be, the cost is going to be steep.

Okay. All right. You got anything else on that? Nah, that sounds about right. Golf cart in five years of the same. No, I'm still losing that. But bro, you haven't, you haven't seen it. I've invited you over for like seven tubs,

0 for seven. Yeah. Maybe Saturday during the ball? Sounds like Arnold Schwarzenegger. You want to watch some ball? We got, I can. In the tub? Oh, yeah, dog. Oh, that'd be all.

awesome. Turn the TV. Yeah. Watch from the tub. It's going to be nice and chilly. That'd be great. Okay. I'll take you up on that. Nice. See you at the hot tub. Perfect. So as we said, we are going to be going through our predictions this year on the pentultimate. Penultimate. There you go. The penultimate green light preseason installment where we ran through who we thought would win all the divisions, wildcard winners, and some accolades. How'd you do, make? I thought I did terribly. Come to find out, I'm a genius.

I got nearly everything right. Thanks to Cowboy Reed for going back. Why don't we start with the Super Bowl predictions? Well, I mean, that's difficult. I know, I'm just fucking with you. Hey, listen, Super Bowl prediction, half years is alive. We'll get there in a moment. Let's just run through division by division

with the division winners. Okay. Okay, AFC East. You had the Bills? I did. I had the Bills. Bills ended up winning that division. Now here was a bad take by me.

According to Cowboy Reed, I said, I'm not so much worried about the offense as I am the defense with all these opt-outs. In New England, that is. So I was wrong, and I said I'm not worried about Cam as much as I am the defense.

Bounce past Cam. Had no idea he was just that physically wrecked. That has to be it. Yes, agreed. There's just no other conclusion I can draw. I said the Pats would regress, I see. Unfortunately, I also have them squeaking into the playoffs. Yeah.

I had them squeaking into the playoffs as well. Spoiler alert. AFC West. I had the Kansas City Chiefs winning. And I said that Josh Jacobs would be a rushing champ. He was not. Yeah, I put an X next to that one. Also, pump the brakes on the Josh Jacobs usage if you want to see this guy pass, say, 26 years old playing in the NFL.

I just cannot get behind as a fan of a team who has, as my dad would say, Sequin Barkley, can't get behind that first round running back using a first round pick on a running back. Yeah, I saw a take earlier this year after Dalvin Cook had a good game that this. This is evidence of why you pay running backs. I was thinking in my little head, I was thinking, well, how good are the Vikings right now? Right. Yeah.

The bills are running out, you know, decent, decent dudes. Zach Moss dead in Singletarian. One friend of the program. You were about to dump on him, but you remember he was on the program. Who, which one? Zach Moss. Yeah, yeah, no, I'm not dumping on Zach Moss.

They don't have any, they don't have any household name type guys yet. Well, you know, some of them are younger. Singletary, Zach Moss, the guys you just named, but certainly point taken. The bills are scoring more than anybody in the league, and most fans probably couldn't name north of one of their running backs. Yeah, I had some not-so-great ones. Brian Edwards is going to ball out.

I think that's just an opportunity thing for him. Who was Brian Edwards? Wide receiver for the Las Vegas Raiders. South Carolina, you remember him? Barely. Fucking baller, dude. I'm telling you, at some point this kid's going to be a baller.

I want to correct something I said earlier. I don't remember Brian Edwards, South Carolina. Yeah. Well, we did get after South Carolina's ass a couple years ago. We did. Debo set out. Yeah. We thought we had something on Devo.

Also, I said to be no other playoff team in the AFC West. Nailed that. Nice. That wasn't a stretch. And Herbert, by week six. I said it would be week six, but by week six. So I get a little squiggly line next to that one. It's not an extra or a check.

To clean up my Josh Jacobs, eighth, in the NFL in rushing this year. Derek Henry, of course, first, Daven Cook, Jonathan Taylor, Aaron Jones, David Montgomery, 5th, and a guy behind Josh Jacobs, Lamar Jackson, a quarterback. Yeah.

For the Baltimore Ravens, which can take us to our AFC North, if you like. I would love that. This is where I feel, this is one of my big victories. Because now it seems like, oh, of course the Steelers are going to be really good, but I picked them to win the division, picked them to go 13 and 3.

And they didn't. What are they? 12 and 4. Fuck, I just missed it. Yeah. No, I give you all the credit in the world for this one because I still think they stink. But they turned out that the record doesn't stink.

I still think they can make a run. I really do. I mean, this weekend, gifted to them in a sense a little bit with Kevin. I wish they were a question again. Yeah, I mean, so do I. And I got to feel like the NFL, here, this would be a chance for them to be less draconian and give him an opportunity to coach this game in some capacity because it's not really a competitive, I mean, it's more about, okay,

we're sticking to the COVID protocols and we're being safe. Him texting calls or talking to a, you know, an assistant coach is not, it doesn't put anybody at risk. Right. These guidelines are about safety. His watching on a monitor would be not much different from his watching from a booth upstairs. Right. Where there are coaches watching monitors all game long. I mean, I don't know if he can call in, he can't call in plays, obviously, but can he contact anybody and give him something he sees? Like, those are the things that there's just no need, especially in this situation where your cash, one of your potential cash cows in the NFL is the Cleveland Browns, okay? The fact that their fan base is so damn relevant and here every year and the market size like don't you want to

encourage that they win more games you know and and you're not even cheating for them all you're doing is just keeping things the same because the whole point of these of these regulations is to keep people safe and kevin stefansky fucking hitting van pelt on his hip is not giving anybody the vid dude. Right. Have they said not any sort of communication? I mean, halftime Zoom with... I don't know. I don't know. But Mina Kimes has been pushing this take pretty hard this week, and I like the take. But I suspect the NFL, I mean, if they haven't done it by now, it's not going to do it. They're not going to change anything. They basically made us sit through what was it, the Broncos Saints game. They made us sit through the Jets situation. They made us sit

through the Jets situation with the Cleveland wide receivers just two, three weeks ago. And collateral damage there is the biggest market in the NFL doesn't get sunshine because of that. So if they didn't bend the rules for that situation, two birds, one stone there. You reschedule that or you give them some sort of, you know, you alleviate the pressure on the wide receiver room. I don't know how they would have done it. But think about that. They could have ensured that Cleveland gets in and ensured that sunshine goes to New York where he's supposed to be. They're not going to do it this weekend. Nah, and it's too bad because it's an enticing.

I'm enticed. Just hunt, chub, Baker with weapons. Miles Garrett. And listen, hey, you know, we talked about this. I talked about this with Steve earlier. Dan Orlovsky, who, again, I'm qualifying this love Dan, my dude. But after he got done crying into his pillow

about tanking Sunday night and gathered his, and gathered his faculties, he really put out a great tweet, insightful about what part of the game it's gonna be hard for the Browns. And that's quarters two through four from a play caller standpoint because that's when you go off script. Early in the game, you script everything.

And even after that, things are slotted, right, down in distance, like you can suggest calls, but you're still not, you're not gonna have the feel of that play caller. You're gonna have, it's more of an art, quarters two through four. So I think right now, like as we sit here late in the week, they probably haven't missed the beat

because we're ready for Zoom. We've been doing that all year, right? Sunday's gonna be different. So it's a shame. Speaking of Miles, he's continuing that tackle thirst campaign into the playoffs. It's a good tee up. Five grand per sack.

He's been donating to the team a lot this year And now is asking fans to pledge $9.50 cents per sack now Per sack Just per sack dude Big Ben gets the ball out in like a second There's no way he has four sacks this weekend

Just make the pledge You probably won't even have to follow through He might whoop ass all day And Ben's just going to be trying to get that ball out So commit right now in your head pictures to donating to Miles Garrett tackle thirst campaign $9.50 per sec. You might be out $0 and yet you can still feel a modicum of respect for yourself for committing to this cause.

And then if the Browns roll to the Super Bowl and he picks up 20 postseason sacks. 20 of those bad boys, you're still only out 200 chickens. I mean, come on. Yep. No brain. It's going to go a long way in the clean water world. You said the Ravens will win the division. You said Patrick Queen would be defensive rookie of the year.

Patrick Queen, 66 tackles, three sacks, two force fumble, one pick. That's my defensive rookie of the year. Is it? Yeah. Okay. Heck yeah. All right. The Ravens are in the playoffs.

That's a fine call by me. AFC South. We both had Indy winning that division. And I don't feel like we've been that wrong. I mean, it came down to the wire and they're the more complete team right now than Tennessee. A lot of people would say they're better. Both 11 and 5. Both 11 and 5.

I said Pittman would have a big year. I don't know if you define this as a big year, but his presence was big for them. His presence was big for them. Once he came on, Ty Wye got healthy. Ty Wye started making plays. Phillips started taking care of the football.

There was a stretch after like middle of a year. Philip Rivers is like a top five quarterback statistically in a lot of areas. Sounds to me like your eye in that six and a half. Might even be seven now in Buffalo. That's what she said. I'm not eyeing that at all, dude. Oh, no. No, I'm not eyeing that.

Okay, sound like you were hot on Indy. No, I probably, me and Steve were talking about it, Bill's first half. They're going to start fast, and then maybe Indy stays in it with that running game. Cole Beasley being out is a problem. It's definitely a problem. But the way they've been rolling, and I keep saying this, the way they take care of teams that they're supposed to do down the stretch here, whether it was San Francisco, whether it was New England,

or there was last weekend fuck I saw that video of them dancing today you see that video of them dancing at practice nah they lose they got the juice now nice yeah they got the juice now you could just you could see it practice dance good sign

so yeah I also there's another dumb thing I said tough go ahead tell the people I thought it'd be there'd be a bigger gap than people think between uh Indy and Tennessee literally deadlocked with the same record. I know, I know.

And after the first game that they played, I thought maybe I'm right about that. But the second game, and here's the problem. We really don't know what that third matchup would look like because in that second game, Buckner, Autry was out. There's a ton of issues for them

and they couldn't stop anybody. But they split that series. Wild Cards. So you had... Cleveland Browns, Pittsburgh Steelers, in the New England Patriots. Which makes you six out of seven pretty fucking good in the playoffs.

I'll take that every year. Every year? Yeah. I had Baltimore, Cleveland, and New England. Six out of seven. We're doing good. All right. NFC. NFC East. This was fun. Yeah. Well, you nailed one thing. What's that? Your favorite team's

record. Yeah. New York Football Giants at 6 and 10. The football Giants. I'm a genius of sorts when it comes to the NFC East, with the lone exception of saying that the Dallas Cowboys would not only win the division, but be head and shoulders above the rest of it

and win the NFC before winning the Super Bowl. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I like to read put that in quotes on the... Yeah, that's a shot right there. Now, I also said Dallas would win the division. I thought they'd have 12 wins. I also did predict that the Rams would be Philly in Week 2, and that Cleveland would beat Dallas in week four.

And I also predicted a lot of discord in Philly with the Rager and Jefferson thing. Yeah, well, that certainly came to fruition. That did come to fruition a little bit. NFC West. We both had the Seahawks. We didn't bite the cheese with the defending NFC champions. Macon had the Rams in, so you nailed that.

You said San Francisco would take a step back. I had Russ as the MVP. Obviously for a while, I looked smart there. And the Niners struggling without Buckner. Now, I don't think we ever would know what they'd look like at full strength, but they, I think, defensively, regardless, took a step back because of him, especially early.

I think late in the season they figured it out. Sala finished strong in some games that didn't mean shit. But Buckner, look what he's done in Indy. Oh, guy's a stud. NFC. South. Sounds like you're hot on Indy, huh? No, I respect Indy.

Okay. I just they just they're around dude so what is that is that 3717 oh this game uh-huh uh let's go no let's go 30 to 21 oh so the spread's gonna be in question there until the very end you think yeah i do nFC south eyed the saints and i said alvin camera sleeper MVP candidate it was pretty good i'll take a dub on that yeah i mean really though is that is that like a sleeper like he's going to be talked about in the MVP race? Before the year, odds not good, and now he's talked about.

He should be. If they weren't giving it to quarterbacks, he would be the MVP. I mean, to me, at least, even with, I mean, probably Derek Henry might deserve it over him. Devante Adams in the conversation. Devante Adams, certainly in the conversation, but if you're looking at guys who have kind of carried their teams, Stefan Diggs.

I don't know where New Orleans would be. without Alan Camara. No doubt. I don't know where Tennessee would be without. I know where Green Bay would be without DeVante Adams. They'd still be pretty good, right? I also, who else did you say? I said, Stefan Diggs.

You don't know how big a leap Josh Allen would have made. That's the one, you just don't know. And in a year here, he might have to adjust again with Brian Dable being gone because he could have a head coaching job very soon. And so interesting article about Josh Allen. You know much about these quarterback guru guys? A little bit.

A real industry now. Yeah, there's a Palmer. Yeah, and it was about Jordan Palmer. And his tutelage, he was humbly outlining his tutelage of Josh Allen and kind of talking about the things that it took for him to make this leap. And one of them was his base and I can actually see it in my head pictures of last year and the year before,

on your toes too narrow hopping. Didn't he used to do that all the time? And early this year, there were times where I literally said he just stops in the pocket. You see him just freeze and just kind of sit down in the pocket and then rifle the ball to somebody. He's been widening his base.

And just talking about his relationship with Brian Dable as well. Pretty great article was on ESPN.com. Don't remember who wrote it and that sucks for that guy because it was a good article. You said that the Bucks would come in second in NFC South, and you were right about that. Yeah, the Bucks would come in second,

and I said also they'd be crushed after a loss or two, which wasn't a hot take, but you knew how this year was going to go for them. We said early that the Saints would win it because it was all about continuity. Well, Bucks looked just fine to me. The only thing that scares me about their path to the Super Bowl is New Orleans.

NFC North. NFC North. Let's talk about it. Oh, let's not, dude. I had the Green Bay Packers. I had the Detroit Lions. So what I was doing here was doing a media, like, futures bet with, like, plus 750 odds. I could not bring myself to pick the Packers because of how much I hate their defense at times.

Who, by the way, I've played better lately. Your boy, Wahoo Petting? That's right. Smith Brothers. Smith Brothers? More Z. more Z than P. Yeah, more Z than P, but

Gaire? Yes, right. I mean, Savage? This guy named Savage back there? Darnel, yeah. He's a fucking baller. He's a savage.

Savage A.F. Randy Savage? Randy Savage was the macho man? Macho man. His last name couldn't have really been Savage, right? I'm not sure, but I just know that when he died, I was unreasonably upset as an adult.

he was born Randy Mario Pafo Yep I knew that sure But yeah I mean like Who could have foreseen all the things that happened to Detroit this year They lost their coach during the year Yeah The organization took the coach away

They had to play They had to play one game with no coaches People got hurt, injuries happen Yeah bro that's a tough pick They, uh, minus 142 in point differential for those Detroit lions. Yeah, well. I told us Detroit.

That was a typo, I think. Let's, uh, let's get the wild cards, because we got, we got a little bit more to do here. Wild card, I had Falcons. That's wrong. I had bucks. That's right. I had Rams. That's right.

Okay. Uh, I had bucks, birds, niners. Mm. So I'm gonna, I'm gonna edge you out there. You're gonna edge me out there. Coach of the year. We both had, well, I had Bill and then. Stafansky. You had Stifansky.

What I'm looking at here is you had Bill Belichette. Mm-hmm. Okay. That's what I just said. Okay. I had Bill and then Stefansky is my sleeper. You had Stefansky is your winner. That's right. Okay. Offensive player of the year, you had my homes. Yes. I had Christian McCaffrey. Neither of us probably win that.

Defense of player of the year. I had Aaron Donald. I had Miles Garrett. Both have fine years. They had great years. I went Cam Acres as O'Roy. He didn't really get it going there. I had J.K. Dobbins.

Yeah. Yeah, probably more impactful, I would say, you're a guy. Defensive rookie of the year, you win, Chase Young. He's a monster out there. As I said, Patrick Queen. He had some tackles. Yeah, he had a lot of tackles. Yeah, he was good.

Good, good pick. I had comeback player year. I had Cam and Alex Smith, if he takes a snap. And take a snap, did he? He did take a snap. Who'd you have? I had Miles Garrett for comeback player

of the year. Okay. Versity last year. He did. Breakout player. Scary Terry McLaureen. I feel good about that one. Miles Sanders.

Worst team. Jacksonville Jaguars. Okay. I had the Jacksonville Jaguars too. MVP. Ezekiel Elliott. Great pick. Very, very, very.

valuable to them. Well, I mean, you can not make the argument. Maybe DAC a little more so. Russ. Bad pick. Didn't win the MVP. He won the first half MVP. Didn't win the MVP. Let's talk Super Bowl. Okay.

Dallas Cowboys, 28. Cleveland Brown 16. All right. Could happen. Half of that could happen. Yep. Pittsburgh, 27, Seattle 24. Probably not going to happen. I feel like yours is more likely than my.

Yeah, maybe equally as likely. Playoffs. You want to talk about playoffs? Yes, that's right. Football's playoffs start this weekend. And there is no better place to get in on all the action than with Draft King Sportsbook. America's top rated sportsbook app.

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see draftkings.com slash sportsbook for details gambling problem call 1 800 gambler or in Indiana 1,8009 with it. Okay, likeability. Second half of likeability. NFC version. Did you listen to the pod? I did, I did, I did, I did. What do you think about Wookiee? He's great, primarily for acknowledging that his smack talk lost him, our fantasy battle. That was funny.

Wook's got a great laugh. I wish I could mimic his laugh because I find you funny. I do often. I'm just not a laugh out loud guy. Try to do his laugh. And I don't even know that's good, but he just, it's a, it's a real laugh. It sounds like whether or not it's genuine sounds genuine. Whereas my genuine laugh is, ah, and I'll even slap my knee, but that's not so good for a podcast.

No, people just hear a thud. Yeah. Like a corduroy hitting the palm of somebody's hand. In the distance. Yeah, more of like the palm hitting the corduroy, but yeah. Wilkes just got some good stories, man. the government stuff he does. You guys will hear about it more down the line.

But it's nice having Wookback. Shout out to Dr. Fax. He's out there somewhere. Mm-hmm. Dr. Fax. If you've been a green light person from the beginning, you know, bad back backy, you know, Dr. Fax, you know, Coach Wookiee.

More recently, Dr. Mangina. Dr. Mangina. We need to get Dr. Mangina back on the pod. I Yes. Melvin. Yes. If I remember correctly, if I recall correctly.

If I recall correctly. Guess what I posted? I can feel it my plums clip the night before the week 17 Browns Steelers Showdown and somebody accused me of ripping it off of Dan Lebitard show. Oh really?

I didn't know we've, I didn't know he had Dominion over eastbound and down. My fucking Instagram name is Lafamablanca. Yeah, yeah. Huh. Didn't know that was a thing. As if I have time to watch people's shows. I went on part of my take yesterday for the listeners.

Probably today for the listeners. This is funny. Dan, Dan finished the show trying for the second time to plug my pod. Yeah. And he goes, you can catch him on the green room. What an asshole. He felt so bad.

He really didn't know what the podcast was called. And I told him at the top of the show, bro, I know you don't listen to our pod. I haven't listened to part of my take in years. Yeah. It doesn't mean I'll like you. I talk to Dan every day. Talk to Dan every day. I think when you're in the pod game.

There's no time to look at you're competing with yourself. Yeah. I used to listen to that show, fine show, entertaining show. But now you're in the game. Yeah, I don't. There's no time. But Dan fucked up the plug. He's probably edited out of the pod too, which is awesome.

You didn't give him shit in real time? I gave him shit. Okay. I just, that's when I announced that I hadn't, this is the most part of my take I've watched in a year.

Yeah. Which sounds, uh, sounds like I watch podcasts. Right. Right. It sounded 52 in that situation. Um,

so let's do, uh, let's do likeability here. We can go by seed. Okay. Dope. And you're familiar with the, with how we're doing this.

We're going by novelty, uniforms, fan base, watchability, people that need a ring, staff and X factors and you can take negatives off up to five points off for negatives

now these seven subcategories for each team they go on a 1 to 10 scale add them up the net is how we rank these teams that sounds great you might need to hold my hand a bit yeah no problem metaphorically not going to do that yeah right

a lot of reasons yeah are there do you have other reasons yeah just your hands are kind of creepy They are not creepy. They're soft. It's soft creepy. They're a great temperature. Meg made fun of your hands when she called into the pod.

Don't you remember that? Oh, but just because... You got soft hands. Well, right. Compliment. She complimented my hands. Rogers from eight yards deep in the end zone. Right down the middle of the field.

And Adam somehow comes down with it. Why don't you start? Green Bay. For me, the novelty is a two. Yeah, I got a thing. three. I think perennially good franchise. They're literally

named after a team or they're literally named after like factory workers back in the day. Like that's how old they've been the same team since like 1940. I don't know when they started in actuality. They were the Acme Packers or something.

Oh right. Yeah. So like they're ancient. They're real chalky. They're not a big market and that kind of controls them being like the Cowboys annoying. I think Aaron Rogers is so good he actually negates some of the lack of novelty because it never gets old watching him.

So I give him a three. That's a good point. Four Super Bowls, but far to Rogers, I mean, they've just been rolling for so long. Yeah, they're always in this dance.

Uniform, I struggled a bit. I went 10. I went eight and a half. Okay. Yeah. If I can get specific for a second, you may.

The helmet stripe matches the pantstripe. and the collar stripe matches the sleeve stripe. Love symmetry. Yeah. I think it, I go back and forth. It could use a slight update,

that number font. Listen, it's just great. It's great. You're going to be with the uniform stuff as people know if you listen to the pod, more of a connoisseur, more of a detail person.

I'm more of a, does it feel good to me? Okay. The Green Bay Packers hold the trademark to that oval G. They've used it since 1961 and the club says it granted limited permission

to use a similar mark to the University of Georgia and to Grambling State. Absolutely. So how about that? But Green Bay Packers, they're the OG with that Oval G. Kyle's community college that he played football at before Oregon, I feel like they had the G

G, Gouchos. Tons of high schools Jack and the G. Jack and the G, it's kind of funny when you think of it stands for green. Yeah, yeah. And there's a bay and a Packers. Yeah, absolutely. It stands for the green.

I know. Yeah, green and yellow, terrific combination. So eight and a half for me. Fan base, I'm gonna go eight out of ten. I went seven, but like a lot of additions for some reasons and deductions for others. Like I'm over the publicly held nature of the franchise. Owning stock in the Green Bay Packers isn't like owning stock in a regular company.

No lucky Green Bay fan will get rich off the team's next Super Bowl win because the stock pays no dividends and isn't tradable or saleable. The Wall Street Journal called it the worst stock in America. If the team ever gets sold, shareholders will not receive a slice of the purchasing price or even get their initial investments back. So wait, what's worth more? It just seems pointless. What's worth more like the Nike checks in stock that my wife, my lovely wife, wife Meg gets these Nike checks that she she literally they're for 73 cents they come in like every year she got it when she was in high school or something that's cool she slaps them on the fridge

with scotch tape and says like why don't you do something around here right you know what I mean what's worth more that check her stock in Nike or like owning the Packers is it literally worth nothing being a Packers owner yeah it's it's make believe but they do get credit however for for being And loyal, I feel like they'd show up in a 13 and three season like they'd do in a three and 13 season. Yeah, I mean, I feel like they're loyal. I feel like they don't mind being cold. I mean, golly, they're all pink. Yes.

They're all pink, man, out there in that cold. Just shirts off, a lot of them. Impervious. Completely impervious to the cold. And this year they've let a few fans in and it's like on the broadcast, they're holding up signs the entire damn game. Yeah. Committed folks.

Yeah, just take a rest. Watchability, I go 9 out of 10. Again, it's Aaron Rogers. I went 10. Love Aaron Rogers. Devante Adams. Defense is the only thing sometimes that has bothered me in the past. Cedarius is cool, though.

Cedarius really gives that defense a boost in the watchability column for me. Players who deserve a ring, there's more than you think here. Seven and a half out of 10, I go. I go four out of 10, but I don't know how to. Yeah, it's a tough one to rank it. Yeah. But it's surprisingly been nine years since I got a ring. So there are a lot of dudes on that roster

who don't have one, including the greatest tied in in the game, Big Bob Tunyon. Tanyan doesn't have a ring yet. Spelled Tanyan, pronounced Tanya. You like that. You like that. You like that. Is that how it's really pronounced or if they just all agreed

that that's how we're gonna say it on TV? Yeah, no, I think it's been that way for a while. Tanya, yeah. But some matriarch or patriarch in that family one day was like, Hey, this this Tonian sounds a little upy. It sounds a little uppity. Yeah. We're going to be the Tunyans and nobody's ever going to forget it.

If you're the Tonians, you sound kind of nerdy. Yeah, Tonians, Tonians, I couldn't agree more. A Tonian comes and tries to block me. I'm going to just swat him aside like a fly. If a Tonian family sends me a Christmas card. Oh, Tonian family's definitely giving me the whole run down on what all their kids did. Yes. All their kids.

Not even making the mantle. Now you get a Christmas card from the Tunyans. Tunians is just a picture. There were some kids like me that used to look at those Christmas cars. It was like, man, I'm pretty dumb, huh? Right. You see all this thing? You see what the Tonian kids did this year?

I haven't done shit. Mercedes-Louis, been in the league like 20 years, bro. Definitely deserves a ring. I don't think he has one yet. I'm glad you said that. I did very little research. who actually has one. No, it's all good.

Yeah, Snacks Harrison, our guy, friend of the program. Sure. Up there right now, they had them up there for some opo slash, you know, high ceiling run stopping, you know, because they, I guess, probably thinking about the Seahawks. Yeah, that's a glow up. Yeah, that's a glow up. Yeah, it's a big glow up.

I mean, G-Men, Detroit. Detroit. Seattle. Seattle, you creep in. They're the one C with a week off. Yeah, also Tavon Austin, my guy. For sure. Tavon Austin.

And the Green Bay Parade is really interesting to me. This year would be so interesting because generally, if you look, and I think they go to Milwaukee, I suppose. But since it's a pandemic, if they win it, they should just do it in Green Bay. Title Town. Take a left, a left, a right, a left, and just snake that little. You've seen everybody.

Yeah, dude. I mean, put it on TV. We're done 15 minutes. That's what they should do. They shouldn't go to Milwaukee. Nobody's going to be allowed out. Do it right there in Green Bay. Don't even go to Appleton.

Yeah, staff, 7 out of 10. I really don't know how to feel about him. Five out of 10. My question is, does the floor, is his hair ever grow? It's always the same link. Presumably he gets a cut on the reg. So you think that's what it is?

Yeah, I think every week he goes to the barber. Let that grow out a couple weeks, bro. I don't know. It's probably a good reason why he's not doing it. X factor. They got some X factors. I mentioned the guys that will stand out there until they're pink in the cold,

not bothered by it. Also, small town. Really entertaining when you pull through that town for the first time, people will tell you, like, wait till your first trip. You'll stay in Appleton, you'll pull into Green Bay, and it will look like,

like fake TV you just doesn't make sense that there's this giant piece of history football history right in the middle of the city and it's charming it's charming the cheese hats love the cheese hats

yeah I think I say cheese heads yeah cheese hats but do they call them the cheese heads cheese heads like if you want you purchase a cheese head I think you purchase a cheese head and then you become also a cheese hat yeah I know you're a cheese head

but the cheese hats I figure is what you buy to become a cheesehead. No? Maybe. I don't know. We'll have to Google it. Natives. Aaron Rogers hard counted me a bunch.

Ooh. How many times did you jump? Couple. Couple. Couple in one day. Damn. Yeah. And it was really hard to get sacks against him

because for some reason, I didn't play them enough to get in a rhythm against Brian Balaga, but I had like this terrible matchup with him. That just, it wasn't working for me when I played him in 2013. One of the worst past rushing games I've ever played my life. I think I had like one pressure.

One pressure, dude. And I mean, to be getting hard counted like that is absurd. And it's terrifying. Also the defense. So I'll go negative two and a half here. That puts them for me at a 49 and a half, I believe. Lambo, bro. So that's a 46 for me.

Mara in a tailback. He's got five rushing touchdowns. Almost all time. New Orleans. Let's go novelty. Four. Really? I feel like they may, you know it's funny because young people don't remember them ever being the eight. That's a good point. You know, so for me, I do, but it just feels like they've had such a long run.

I give them a two in novelty, especially because lately they've lost a lot of bad ways in the playoffs. Yeah, but they're always there. Won it in 2009, but with Breeze, you pencil them in. You know what's funny actually. I'm arguing against myself here. There's a low-key high amount of years that they missed the playoffs all together and went like seven and eight and one or seven and nine. I mean, it's more than you think.

So I go two out of ten uniforms. I'm not that into their uniforms. I'm going to seven out of ten. I can wear their throwbacks every week, but we're talking about the main ones. I also went seven out of ten. Nice. If they do that black on black at home, okay, fine.

And yeah, that throwback all white is nice. So we both got seven out of tens there. fan base. I love them. For some reason I went 10 out of 10, yeah. I went 9 out of 10. What I wrote was, hell yeah, period. Good, I had, I love them, period.

Shout out to T-CAP down there. They used to wear lunch bags on their heads. The Aints, yeah. Like, just think about that. Who'd at? Buying a lunch bag, poking holes in it, and just heading to the ball game. Shout out to K2 down there.

I got people down there. K2, yeah. But now it's new school, yeah. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. They also have some famous fans, Jimmy Buffett. Not a surprise to me, I guess. John Goodman, how about watchability? I go eight out of ten because they're creative.

I went six, Camara's Electric. Can't Car, Mike loses a point for me this year. Couldn't get on the field for a variety of reasons. Drew, so many broken ribs, dozens. That's a lot of broken ribs. of broken ribs. It's like, I'm a little scared out there for him. And then the tasem factor.

And I know he went in and won a few games and proved that he can run an NFL team as a quarterback. I'm not crazy about Taysson packages. You know what I'm not crazy about? Yeah, I'm not crazy about him randomly coming in and taking a snap away from Drew throwing the football. And especially in the red zone. Like, you know what?

I understand being a defensive player that him getting the ball in the red zone gives you some things to think about. but is it really broke where you have to fix it? Alvin barely got the ball when he was in there. It's your best player. It's your best player. Point blank, period.

So I think they're creative. They're fun to watch. Players that deserve a ring. Cam Jordan for sure. Five out of ten, I give him five out of ten for players that deserve a ring. And Malcolm Jenkins getting another one with the Saints. Because I feel like the first time he was there,

he wasn't, you know, it's one thing to win when you're young, I've been told. Winning when you're old though, it's probably more fulfilling, especially when you've seen the ups and the downs and you know how to appreciate it. So the homecoming for Malk, getting a ring would be cool. I had five out of 10.

Cam, Jank in New Orleans. Yeah, Jack Rabbit. The Jack Rabbit, yeah. Trey Hendrickson. Yeah. Our boy, Trey, dude. Dub ya. Yeah.

Staff, I'll go eight and a half. I really do respect Sean Payton. The smirk doesn't give a shit, really just like a fuck. Fuck the league, fuck everybody thing. A lot of it stems back to him, you know, his involvement in an alleged bounty gate situation. And I understand that he's kind of the middle finger to league guy now, and that's his thing.

But to me, it never bothered me his arrogance that people perceive his arrogance. Like when he ran up the score on us in 2017, I think we lost 47 to 7 and they tried like a trick play like up 41. 7. People were freaking out. He's just kind of got that attitude like, well, then stop it. And that's kind of where I land on stuff. I went five out of ten.

I like Sean Payton too. He looks like Kenny Chesney. He has those purse lips like the woman from Mama's family. You got it. Deduction for Ronald Curry, who I'm sure is a good human being, but he was committed to the University of Virginia and then took back that commitment and went to Carolina for some Air Jordans, allegedly. And I can't forgive that.

There's a guy named Will Hoyt on that staff with a good beard too. Will Hoyt. Well, Will Hoyt's the last name. He has a first name. That didn't make it to my notes. I kind of like Will Hoyt. Yeah, that's a good name. Also, the Morstedt cat.

Yeah, Thomas. Yeah, he's cool. Seems cool to me. Yeah. Let's go X Factor. I mean, is there a bigger X factor than the guy who took the Rams blown call to like the Senate floor or whatever he did

or remember that guy he had the pictures and shit and the pointer he had like a pointer like they just he made people at the government building

just look at a freeze frame of a PI for like an hour likely related to the dummy in Florida who tried to name the Florida State Seminole's NCAA champs last year no the tournament

that wasn't played no yeah they had one of those? Yeah, but this guy was he had the whole floor in so many ways nationally. It was a big story. He's a huge X-Fact. For it to mean that much to you, hats off. Put a number on it. A number for my X-Factor is going to be a 10 out of 10. And because of Steve Gleason.

Yeah. My guy, shout out Steve Gleason. All the losses, you know, the oysters when you go to that game, you get oysters after the game. You go to the parking lot, you might have gotten your ass kicked by the Saints. They get these hot charboard oysters, bro. Perfect. Perfect. I went eight because of it being the big easy. What a great American city. Maybe a point or two off for that, what I perceived to be terrible lighting in that stadium.

It's awful. You're right. I've never been inside it. Negatives, let me add the lighting to my list. We were at minus one and a half with the departure. of Teddy Bridgewater, I'm going to go ahead and add one for that general stadium experience, including the lighting. So that's rough. That's minus two and a half off of our total here. And a new franchise record and that cap is well aware he fires the football all the way to the

sideline. Seattle. Okay. Novelty. I think they've been around for a long time, but they play in Canada. So, like, you know, they survive that way as far as being not hated. And they were likable, you know, I was in their division. I was supposed to hate them, but you could at least respect them. I mean, they were likable L-O-B days. Novelty for me is a three. I have three.

Okay. Rock solid with Russ. Yeah. Think about it, though. If Malcolm Butler didn't catch that ball, are they insufferable at this point? Maybe. Yeah. Uniform.

Seven out of ten. I know you might think I'm low, but I just... I went four out of ten. And catch me on a different day. I might be with you. Yeah. But I studied them a little bit more today. Yep.

They got a collarbone stripe, which is unique in maybe all of sport. Not a big fan. I don't like when you write on a stripe. Yeah, dude. The numerals are funky. Totally with you. Like UNC the other day, and I know you don't, You don't even want to give them any credit for their uniforms.

They were moving in the right direction with that against Texas A&M. Well, that's a throwback. I know. And if you just delete- But get that fucking Carolina off your shoulder. Delete Carolina in that uniform is stunning. Stunning. Stunning.

It was almost like a nine iron. It looked great from however many yards out. And then they got close and I was like, what is that tacky word? Yep. On that shoulder. Yep. I remember that from when they were, that's, that's- Now Texas A&M,

in that game, if I could digress, really close to elite. But dude, I think they're there. I'm, I like a stripless pant every now and again. Stripless pant can be fine. Just get rid of that floating logo.

Okay. That's all, that's all I'm saying. That, that tone of maroon, that's the tone of maroon. We went to a maroon high school. Yeah. Texas A&Meroon. It's a good maroon.

It's a good maroon. Getting packed manned over our maroon that we had in high school. Agreed. And their font's good. Yep. Numerals good. Yep, yep, yep, yep, yep, yep.

Fans, I'm going to go 8 out of 10 because the 12s are really serious. They don't cuss at you. They're like the Phillip Rivers of NFL fan bases. And they're all hopped up on poison, though. That's the only reason they're not a 10 out of 10 because they're all hopped up on those drugs that they give you guys in the morning. Coffee is what you're saying? I said 7 out of 10. Interesting.

I said that the 12 thing has become a touch annoying, but just the 12 thing specifically. And nice segue, they had a fight with Texas A&M over that. Oh, did they? Yeah, the 12th man at Kyle Field. Seattle hates the troops? Seattle hates the troops.

All right, we're going to, well, that'll play in negatives here. Okay. Yeah, dude. I think the 12s to me, it's a tad bit annoying. I don't love like some of the hips, stuff up there, but I love the city of Seattle.

I love the city of Seattle. It's gorgeous. Best cityscape in football. Soldier Field was looking like a snack recently on TV late at night. Forget who they were playing. It was Green Bay. It was like a long time ago, it was just week 17. Yeah, but they're just so nice.

If you played in front of them, they're actually pretty nice, except the guy that I got tossed. Oh yeah, tell us about that. I forget what he said, but it was something super disrespectful. And then he like threw something. And so I just pointed to him and it was cool because they like got him out of there. An event staff wasn't going to be like, hey, nah, that's a 12, bro. I felt like a drug lord, dude.

Yeah. Just pointed a guy and he gets dragged out of, you know, the stadium. One and only or were you a serial kicker out or? I only kicked one person out. It was that guy that had really good seats in Seattle too. He was just so disrespectful. So disrespectful. Anyways, yeah, I don't hate those people,

even though they kicked our ass for like seven years up there. Watchability, seven and a half out of ten for me. Lately Russ has been dragging them down, which is crazy to say. Yeah, I said six. It's so much better when decaf is unlocked. But this weekend, another tough battle with Mr. Jalen Ramsey. Absolutely, absolutely. the trilogy.

Hey, players that deserve a ring, there's more than you think. Carlos Dunlap is a dude who should be trying on a ring at some point in his career. He's had a great career, been, you know, for the most part, and they won some in Sinci, so I'm not, I don't feel too bad for him, but it's still, it's the Bengals. It's not, I'm sure when he got Seattle after he listed his home on Twitter. Right, does he deserve it if he just pieces out on Twitter via an MLS list? Well, here's the deal. They didn't want him anymore. Like he wasn't playing. He was just rotting. So like, you know, people freak out. You know what it is with these leaks, the I won out stuff?

People are so. It just depends on what you think of the guy. Everybody hate, not to bring up your boy, everybody hated it when they heard Carson wanted out. And I understand it's two weeks before the end of the season, but they're fucking, he's done there, right? Well, he's not because of his number. But today, Deshawn Watson News, what was the sentiment? it. Good for him. Good for him. Get him out. No, but he's good. You know what I mean? Like, I don't think Carson's good.

So people just play favorites with that shit. I have no problem with Carlos Dunlap wanting to leave. I think he deserves a ring. Jamal Adams, listen, he kind of did that thing in New York, but I really respect the way he plays football, man. And he seems like legitimately a fun dude to play football with. And more than anything, Greg Olson. Good one. hurt but gets a ring and i you know like i i was there when we won and um darren sprolls and

jason peters who are lifetime guys who deserve rings they got rings and i'm sure they didn't feel great about you know the rings but they they should i mean like it it you're a part of it dude and also like there's a lifetime achievement element to this whole thing you know you two of the most deserving players i ever played with were those two guys so if greg olson gets a ring out of this deserving champion. And don't forget Michael Dixon, third year punter out of Texas, been punting the hell out of the ball.

The dog shit. Give the guy a ring. Give him a ring. Five points for me. Oh. Five points. I go seven. Staff, Pete Carroll. Seems as much as I wanted to hate him in St. Louis, because again, they beat us a bunch.

I'll give him eight out of ten. Ken Norton Jr. Okay. Part of an elite club, only five players in it. Back-to-back Super Bowls on different teams. You're one. It's just me, Ken Norton, Jr., Dionne Sanders, Lerick, Blunt, and another guy sitting in a room.

I just heard his name for the first time yesterday. I didn't know there was a fifth guy. Every year what we do is we hang out in a room. Yeah. We just... Pop champagne. Shrimp cocktail. I went three out of ten.

Look at us. Look at us. I went three out of ten. I said Ken Norton is cool, but I said Pete Carroll is a bit of a weirdo. all due respect. He's got some theories. Yeah, I don't really like the guest speaker line up there. You know what I mean.

I know what you mean. So I'll go X Factor 9 out of 10. A lot of the reasons I just mentioned, the skyline, the cityscape, right? Pete Carroll's gum, legendary. Okay, now that's fair. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, good mascot. Blitz.

It's actually appropriate for like what they are. Like, you know, earlier, I included Casey Wolf as a positive. But Casey Wolf is not, you know, for good reason, a chief. Okay, we're talking about some other teams that just have just picked random animals like the Saints logo is a dog. And I'm sure there's some backstory there, but they actually have a fucking Seahawk. Good for them. Jamal Adams lighting the wrong end of the cigar after they won the division.

is the most endearing thing I've ever seen, dude. That's a huge X factor to me. You can be one of the most badass players in the league, cool as shit, your nickname's Prez or whatever his nickname is. One of the cooler dudes in the league. Doesn't know which end of light the cigar. This is something I would do too.

So that to me is a huge X factor. Yeah, seven for me for the reasons you mention about the city of Seattle. Fantastic. It's a lovely city. Have you been, to the fish market. No, I haven't even been to the city. It's my favorite city I've never been to.

That for most people, that's Austin, right? Yeah, yeah, you're right. Have you heard Austin? Like, everybody at a dinner party will be like, Austin? And like, oh my gosh, and it'll be like, so who's been there? And everybody's like, well, not me. Yeah, you should go. Oh, have you, when were you? Oh, I haven't. No, but Austin City limits. Yeah, keep Austin. weird. You know it's growing every year. Yeah, the music scene. Something for everybody there. The longhorns. Everybody's so down to earth.

The arts? The riverwalk. I'm sure they have a river walk there. I've been there. Okay, and I liked it. Maybe I was in the wrong side of town, but I got to say, I'm not saying it's an overrade. See, I just haven't spent enough time there. It wasn't like, Savannah, Georgia, love it.

That just hit the spot for me. Savannah, Georgia. One of my favorite places to randomly be. Shout out to Savannah Smiles, one of the best piano bars, probably in the world worldwide. Probably a renowned piano bar. They got renowned pianists in there.

Yeah, I was going to say, Savannah Smiles is also probably a renowned pornographic actress. Savannah Smiles is not a porn name. But you're close. Not yet. But you're close. You're Seattle X Factor? Oh, yeah.

Jamal Adams lit the wrong end, nine out of ten. Uh, negatives used to hate playing them, minus two. Gotta, got to be honest, got to give, what are you at? 35. And grading scales are going to be different. What all that matters is the ranking. Amputation at one point was a possibility and now 693 days later.

Here he is coming back on an NFL football field. And he's going to throw and complete it to McKisson. Really the only thing missing from this for Alex Smith is if this stadium was full of 80,000 to give him a Much deserves standing ovation. Okay, let's go Washington football team. Novelty for me is an eight. Eight as well here. Yeah, they don't often get invited to this here, dance.

Now, listen, it's another one of these things where generationally, it depends on when you were around. They're about to have the Steelers thing, which I mentioned the other day, which is they're going to have old fans and young fans if they get good. But Chase Young might change the whole deal the way that I've seen him in the national spotlight. Like he's going to be a superstar, right? And regardless of like, so that's big for that market.

Maybe they get the quarterback thing figured out. Maybe the owner like goes away. Like they're going to have young fans and old fans. The novelty though big time exists. Most people don't know about the fucking hogs. They don't care about that stuff. They don't know how live RFK was. There's only a few left that went to games back there

The thing bounced up and down, look it up People that went to games at RFK is like People that were alive in World War I It's like people who actually know what RFK stands for Robert That's right F Kennedy I couldn't think of what his middle name was

Francis I believe Yeah probably But yeah yeah yeah yeah they don't care about Joe Thysman They don't you know they know them as perpetually terrible. So the novelty is big time, dude. Them being in the in the playoffs seems like a glitch in the Matrix, honestly, to me. Yeah.

That's why I love it. Stunk. Stunk butt for years. Yes. Uniform's though, eight out of ten. Six for me. Points for getting rid of the racist logo. The old fahto was sweet and the new one is truncated.

It's smushed. It's like short. and it doesn't work for me. Well, like Chode New Roman. That's funny as hell. Is it? Yeah. And I think you disagree with this,

but I'm not a big fan of ketchup and mustard unies. I don't like any variation of red and yellow together. Oh, all the red and yellows are great. Yeah, I don't like... Name one that's not. All of them. USC. Okay, that's a good one.

Iowa State. Nope. Kansas City Chiefs. Nope. I don't like ketchup and mustard, so it's, It's a tough sell for me. That's crazy. Just like as a food.

No, no, I'm sorry. You just don't, yeah, yeah. As a union. Yeah, I was just making sure you also didn't like. I'm a big mustard guy. Now you introduced me to mustard. I had eaten mustard for the first 30 years of my life. It was like mayonnaise to me.

Mustard, I went through a three-year span where I was put mustard on everything. Introducing you to mustard is a life of achievement. Yeah. So I go and ate their fan base. I give him like off the bat and I don't mean to sound callous here. I give an eight out of ten and it's off sympathy. And by sympathy I mean like you literally like my lovely wife calls the Washington football team or has called them for a long time the four skins.

You know like you're a laughing stock and you keep showing up. You know like and we live in this area where there are a lot of Washington football fans and they're very loyal. They're kind of optimistic and they kind of revel in that kind of sense of we're not going to win, it'll be fun, we'll go and we'll, you know, we can be hopeful, but we suck. Yeah, I gave them a two out of ten, and that was being generous. They're the worst people I've ever met in my life. Oh, man. They are, they're the Hokies of the NFL. Um, they're, they're drunk, mean. You know what? Yeah. Saw one having sex at the stadium in some capacity.

and while I didn't vote the bills fans down for fucking each other in the parking lot I am going to vote to Washington football team because you might as well be having sex in a dumpster that is a disgusting stadium yes if you're going to do a sex act in public do it at that arena in Brooklyn it's lovely up there in Brooklyn

now I have Christine you could eat off the floor a lot of personal biases here here is I have to hear from you people all the time, especially this past week when something like Sunday night goes down and you make it into the playoffs. So I, this is personal for me, that two out of ten. You're right on the, on the loyal part. They sure are. Very loyal and endearing in their loyalty. Watchability. I go five out of ten probably just the way the offense is right now. Three for me. Like,

what do they do really well? Well, I love the young, I love Gips and the young back. Yeah. Fun to watch. The passer, so I'm going to be,

that's where you're, the difference in points is. Like, I watch the football from front to back. So. Right. And McLawn good. You're right.

Chase Young is. And it's fun, even though he's a hokey. I mean, like the Logan Thomas thing, I'm just like, this is a fun experiment that's turned into a real thing.

Yeah, he's playing a college quarterback. Yeah, look at you. You're like, yeah. People that deserve a ring. I'm going nine out of ten.

I went seven. Ron. Oh, we went different. We went different. Well, I also have Alex Smith. You're going to go Ryan Carrigan. That's right. He definitely deserves a ring.

Yeah. Alex Smith, though. I mean, like, it's probably not going to happen, but they'll rename the SPs, the Alex Smith, SPs. Yep. Like, the whole fucking Spes will just get,

it'll just be Alex Smith, rightfully so. Also, Thomas Davis. Haven't played a lot this year, but stuck it out for one. one more year. And with his guy, that'd be cool. See him get a ring.

Morgan Moses, a dude who's first year, they were telling him he wasn't good enough. Nah, they were telling him nah. Yeah. Still got drafted pretty high, did he not? Yeah, he did. Yeah, no, Washington football team was telling him nah. Right.

Yeah, but now he's. It's usually a good thing when Washington football team tells you, nah. That means you probably can play. Staff, I'll go nine out of ten again. Ron Rivera. I went eight out of ten. Ron, solid.

a slight subtraction for some nepotism. I saw some familiar last names on that staff. You know what though? And I did the Scott Turner thing. I talked about in the coaching thing and I just want to say this again. I was wrong. You know, like however he got the job

and the issue was not like, here's the thing about nepotism and coaching is and I talked about this. And the backstory is the theory is well, Scott Turner gets a job because, you know, of a Norvron arrangement or whatever. Like, it's easier. to get a job when you have a dad that coach.

And that doesn't mean you're not a good coach. I mean, like, Kyle Shannon is a tremendous coach. The issue is with like the entry point. So again, Scott Turner done a great job this year. I was wrong about his competency. I got the nepotism thing mixed up with competency. And I should never do that. Me, especially.

You know what I mean? But there is a big difference between being a player with a dad and a coach with a dad. Indeed. There's also a Del Rio, a younger, the younger on that staff. there's a Rivera the younger on that staff. Yeah, well, Del Rio's going to come up in the negative just for one thing.

So I have nine out of ten there, staff, and then X Factor, I'm going 10. X factor, I'm going zero. You don't think it's a big deal that they hired the first black president in the NFL? That's cool. That's cool, like north of zero, cool, or? No, how about that owner they have? Well, that's in the negatives, but. Okay.

Okay, so. Well, it might all come out in the wash. than my zero. Jason Wright. Yeah. Shout out to Jason Wright. That's a big X factor. Also,

drop the team name. I think it's positive. John Riggins, who I love. Football life. I count that up there with the best football lives I've ever seen.

Lives I've ever seen. Negatives minus five. There we go. Daniel Snyder, sexual harassment, terrible stadium. Wookie told me he tried to give a buddy at work,

passes to go like sideline passes. is the one of my game, like stand on the sideline. Hang out with Howie Long. He tried to sell it that way. Dude just kept saying, nah. I believe it. No one wants to go to that stadium.

It's two hours to get to that stadium. It's three hours to leave. It's in the middle of nowhere. It's awful. Trent Williams situation. Can I give this team minus 10? I mean, this is being held. They got a shot at the bills right now

who are in the lead for most likable team. The actual team, if not for the negatives, which is part of it, it's a lot of positives here. 52 on the nose. 34 for me. And the 11 win bucks with the hypnotic championship mindset

of Tom Brady at age 43 put a cap on a great season for the bucks with his performance today upward and onward for Tampa Bay. Okay, let's go Tampa. Novelty. Six out of ten.

Eight out of ten. Long drought that they have quenched. Totally. But the Brady lack of novelty for a lot of people might drag it down. Fair. That's the only reason I'm not giving them an eight for me.

Uniform, three out of ten. Two out of ten. They went with the wrong throwback. Wrong throwbacks. Could have been the cream sickles. Fan base, three out of ten. Who are they? Two out of ten.

I only know one. He's a fine gentleman, but... Who is he? Redacted, redacted, good guy, you know? But like, why? How? Right. More so, how?

If you grew up in Tampa, it's one thing. And if you grew up in Tampa, I picture being such a casual exercise to be a Bucks fan. And no offense to some Bucks fans, man. A Jags fan took offense the second time. I offended a Jags fan because I said the media, they didn't do a good enough job of making it clear, but the media doesn't give a shit about what's going on in Jacksonville.

I don't mean to just say nobody cares about football down there, but I just haven't met a lot of y'all. I'm with you. I'm with you. Watchability, 9 out of 10, because high drama, even when it's not going well, I love watching Devin White, love the defense, JPP, Shack Barrett, the rookie Winfield, he's fun to watch. They're really a fun team to watch, even when they're not playing well.

I went seven out of ten. Brady, as much as we've seen him, he's finally surrounded by weapons all over the place. Evans might or might not play this weekend. Rojo, love Rojo. Great back. Seven out of ten watchability for me. Incredibly funny runner. Hmm.

Mm-hmm. Legs behind his body. Right. You know what I mean? Can't tell if he's big or small. Don't know if he's a big back or a smallback. Looks like he's a big back, but I'm not sure. Just funny built.

Do you want to take a run at his measurable? Yeah, I'm going to say he's about 6 foot 222. 511-207. See, that's not that heavy, but he kind of looks big, dude. So we go people who deserve a ring. I don't know. sue somebody you'd want happy to see to see a ring? I put Indomicon Sue.

Wow, yeah. He's 7 out of 10. I gave him a 2 out of 10, but Indomacan Sue. Levante David. How about Tom Brady? Right. How about not Tom Brady? How about Tom Brady?

I sound like my son right now. Luke, whenever, how about ice cream? How about ice cream? How about Tom Brady, dude? Tom Brady would make everybody's brain explode. Tom Brady winning a ring down there Boston would freak out the national media would freak out

and I love seeing greatness like that's that's what would be so rare and cool about it was after everything this year he would be able to stand there and be like I'm not saying it was all me in New England but it wasn't not me bro you know what I mean

so Tom staff 7 out of 10 Ariens polarizing left which bowl seven out of ten down the middle. Four out of ten, I don't like Bruce Harians. Okay, but... Tech guy.

I saw a lot of diversity on that staff, including two women. So... Yeah, so, maybe, yeah, points. But evidently not a lot of points. I don't like Bruce Ariens. X factor. I put seven out of ten and then realize they have no X factor. I put five out of ten pirate ship.

Okay. I put seven out of ten, X factor is Grande Barber. There you go. Hall of Famer, soon to be. Okay. Negatives, minus three, pirate ship. Oh, okay.

It will ruin the Super Bowl. You just, do you not like pirates? That'd be fair. Do you not like ships? That would not be fair. One of the biggest issues I have with pirate ships is that they look to be over dramatizations of what pirate ships would look like.

Have you even seen Captain Phillips? Have you? Have you ever seen? Yeah. Captain Hook? But Captain Hook probably had the problem. What I'm saying is even back in the day, like Captain Cook, I don't think he had that goofy-ass flag with the skull and crossbones.

And maybe he did. He probably did have a skull and crossbones. So yeah, I'm worried the pirate ship's going to ruin the Super Bowl. 39. 30. 30. down the home stretch pressure he has the football

it looked like he wanted to get rid of it and Aaron Donald smothers him all the way back at the 49 yard line Rams Novelties of five because I have a five as well Yeah you've been in the wilderness a lot But you're also just in the Super Bowl two years ago Yeah it's it's strange

It really is strange Put that right down the middle then I think that's right Uniforms eight and a half I'm on board with the bone Golly I didn't know what to do do, I went four. Just so close. The problem is I looked him up and I'm close to getting on board and then the search reveals pictures of the Chargers uniforms, which are just easy 10. And it's like,

y'all were close too, but it's not there. Yeah, but you're holding, you know, like, you're doing a thing where a really good player was drafted at the year as a Hall of Famer and you're mad at the really good player. The numbers are a little too weird. I mean, maybe a year or two from now when we're in the future. Yeah. They'll look normal, but a little too futuristic. I do like their little name tag. I think they'll look cool with fans in the stands.

Okay. I can kind of see it. I will mention that one more time, though, before the end of this thing. Fan base, six out of ten. I can't rank them higher than the 12s. But they're good for, I guess, the ones who are Rams fans in L.A., I get that it's a complicated dynamic. You know, I get the background of me in St. Louis and all that stuff.

Yeah, I wish the team was still there. I really do. It's not. I'm not going to blame that on L.A. fans. A lot of them were in L.A. rooting for the Rams before they left for St. Louis in the 90s. So I'm not going to hold it against them. I think they got a solid but smaller than you think fan base

because it's just not a sports town. It's not a football town as much as it is like a basketball town or a baseball town. Yeah, three out of ten for me. Shout out Edward Jones Dome. I also want to say this. Probably the fans that are occupying that stadium, not the same fans that I'm talking about as being really diehard Rams fans.

So I'm not disrespecting the ones. I think that stadium's gonna price a lot of people out and it'll be real vanilla. Watchability, seven out of 10, because Robert Woods, Cooper Cup, doing just enough on offense, Jalen Ramsey, Aaron Donald, Michael Brockers, Floyd. I mean, defensively they're fun,

the entire defensive backfield. So that seven out of 10 for me. Six out of 10, yeah. One of the best players in the league. AD and the offense is creative. Players that deserve a ring, eight out of ten, because Andrew Whitworth, guys like Michael Brockers,

Aaron Donald, come on. I had 10 out of 10. I wrote down Andrew Whitworth, Aaron Donald. Those guys deserve it. Staff, I go eight out of ten. I went six. Shaw McVeigh feels like a fine guy, self-aware guy.

Yes, he is. He really is. He could be so easily like just like the douche lord. Right. He's not. Right. He's really not. The lookies he's thrown out might even make you think that. Yeah, you might think, yeah, like guy benches a lot. Yeah.

Got, you know, the spiked hair and that sort of thing. Got that stance, that kind of, he's got a hard-o stance, but I don't think he's a hard-o. Right. You know what I mean? Well put. I think his intensity comes about really honestly. He's not contriving it. Yep.

X Factor. Walford. Ah. Cool training staff. Shout out to the trainers there. My dudes, I talked to them like last night. What do you got for X Factor? I talked to some of the trainers last night too,

and so I gave them a four on X Factor. You didn't think they were good trainers? Also, no, you know, adding some points. Also, as mentioned, the name tag on their uni. I like it. Negatives, minus five, moved from St. Louis. Also, whatever happened to sideline guy, I know he did some bad stuff, the get back guy, right?

Right. Yeah. Also, one of the biggest culprits of their negative score, the flame is gone, the Coliseum. I know it was like it was going to happen, but, you know, that stadium was pretty historic. And everything going forward represents burying the traditions, to me, a little bit of like old school ram, like, throwbacks, that old stadium, which I knew it had to go. And including everything with St. Louis, you had a chance to build a Rose Bowl with PSLs. You had a chance to build a Rose Bowl PSLs, and you didn't do it. You made it some indoor, outdoor flex that's going to look dated in 15 years.

But? What? Grass. It's not quite enough for me, minus five. It's the first and 10. And outside they go, Mooney looking for a block, and he gets one from his other receiver Robinson to the pie. Touchdown! Okay, let's finish with Chicago.

Shouldn't spend long here. Novelty, 10 out of 10. If they win, they're the 85, they're the 2017 Eagles. When we won, it felt like we were the 85 Bears. That was the closest thing I could think of. I went 7 out of 10, some lean years. Sixth playoff appearance this century.

I would have figured even fewer. Let's go uniforms, 8.5 out of 10? They're in that classic, can't lose. went 10 out of 10. Uniform. 10 out of 10. Classic. Damn.

Love the colors. Love it. I go back and forth on George S. Hallis initials on the, on the sleeve, you know. Yeah. Was he, I'm sure he was a great guy.

But, yeah, why the initials again. Why? Just why. It's why. Um, um,

Hallis Hallis Hall. He's got a whole hall. Yeah. We don't need to put him on a sleeves. Uh, fan base eight and a half. Such a hopeful fan base, but also so angry. They can do it all.

I went seven. They brave the cold. They're loyal. Very, very city-centric fan base. You know, if you're a Bears fan, you're a Blackhawks fan, you're a Bulls fan. You're either north side or south side. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's like having a, it's like jets and Mets together and the Yanks and the cranks over there.

Yeah. Gee, man. Passionate, good. Watchability, three out of ten. I want one out of ten. Okay. Say no more. Tough watch.

People that should get a ring on the team five out of ten. They got Robert Quinn and I have... Oh, Jimmy Graham. There you go. Yeah, I wrote that down. I want to Keem Hicks, Cleo Mac, Robert Quinn, Alan Robinson. Okay. Alan Robinson, for sure.

Staff, six out of ten. Don't care, but don't, you know... Five out of ten. I don't dislike Matt Nagy. Just tell me how to pronounce. Tell me how you want your last name pronounced. Be clear. Nagy, Nagy, Negi.

He says it doesn't matter. It matters. It matters. Bill Laser on that staff. Former Wahoo coach. Chuck Pagano on that staff. Oh, well Chuck Pagano might get six and a half.

Note that. Six and a half. X factor. Eight out of ten. Sweeters. Dick outfits. Best stadium rebuild? Dick outfits?

Dicka. Oh, okay. Dick outfits? It's hard to say dick outfits. Here's how I would say it. Dick cut outfits. Well, hold on. I'm just going to try to say it.

I'm not going to try to make a point here. Dicka outfits. What does it sound like? Dick outfits. Okay. See, when you said it, it sounded like dick outfits. I mean, it probably sounded more like it than when you say. You enunciate everything like really hard.

I'm not trying to. And you got your, uh, Mike, dick outfits? See, kind of my dick outfits. It kind of sounds that way. But the dick outfits. You see? Yeah, we can't get out of it. Yeah, their dick outfits are

They're just endearing Even though Mike Dick is going to come up once more in this whole thing. Walter Payton's a huge positive And don't forget the best stadium rebuild. They beautiful restoration on that thing. I went nine out of ten. Great City once again joining Seattle and New Orleans Among great cities in this group.

Chicago, Illinois. Mitch Tribisky, this is going to be fascinating. if he can put together a win or two. And eliminating the curse of the double doink. I just, I like, they got a little mojo, can they score the eye?

No, I don't think so. Probably the most seasonably variable big city. Like, could be amazing, but also could be why am I here? Yeah. It looks very cold.

That's the Caribbean out there? Or, yeah, fuck this. Negative, Mike Dica. he's a he's a love it or leave it guy yeah i'll leave it we'll leave him in the negatives uh also the offense so minus five okay mr positive over here with no negatives all right so for me

washington with 52 the packers with 49 and a half didn't know i like them so much seahawks 47 and a half saints 47 bears 44 rams 43.5 bucks 39 i like them more than that i think I went bears, surprisingly. But you got to stay true to the formula, Chris. Bears were my most likable at 47 points. It's funny. The formula, maybe it's not perfect. Maybe not.

Green Bay Packers for me, second, 46. New Orleans Saints, third, 45. Los Angeles Rams, fourth, 38. Seattle Seahawks, fifth, 35. Washington football team, sixth at 34, and bringing up the rear of the Tampa Bay Buccaneer, seven. Man, we really hate the bucks, I guess.

Yeah. For a group that, loves watching them wrong throwbacks bro that could have slayed crushed them that can put you up here's the deal the bills the bills won it for me easy 10 points double ditch uh 6252 over Washington and I didn't participate in a FC but I like I can't disagree I think what the bills won as well there so how about that we get a bills Washington football team Super Bowl I've seen that before we've both seen that before in our lifetime all right let's make a I'm going to pass it the questions we had.

Do you want to tee them up? Sure. John asks, if you owned a boat, what would you name it? The rod raft. The rod raft. Tell us why.

Rod Carrecker. If you know Rod Carrecker, you know he was going to get some boats. Couple boats. Couple. Real life Rod Carrecker would be Mois, never got a boat yet. Not yet.

Been six years. No boats. Rod Raft. The background there is I fooled the local news, and they thought I was playing a lotto, but I wasn't. I said my name was Rod Caraker, and I was in costume. I already told, my old lady, if we win, we're going down to Myrtle Beach for about 10 months,

and we're getting a time share, and the whole nine yards, maybe a big boat, a couple boats, you know, a lot of boats, and we're going to have a great time. You fooled the local news for sure. You fooled the reporter. The problem is that, yeah, the producer back in the studio was like, nah, that's, that's C-Long. And we're going to, on the Chiron, one of your favorite industry terms. We're going to fix it.

We're going to put Chris Ron and not Rod Carrecker. I've told this story before. Meg and I stayed up that night to watch the local news hoping that I would make it. As is I, bro. I got a writing credit on that whole bit. You did. I was upstairs. and what was the piece of advice

that pushed it over the edge from you? Just some of the lines like boats. Yeah, boats is great. Yeah. Yeah, boats, I mean, boats I think was yours. You got to mention boats. Yeah, multiple boats. Yeah, it can't be one.

Right. But the best part about it was not having a name when I got into the convenience store handy. And yeah, they asked me the first thing I think of was Rod Caracher, and I'm thinking about Adam Carrier in my head, and I have no idea why Adam Caracres in my brain at that point.

So, yeah, I would name the boat, I would name it, what, the Rod Raft? I would name mine Apache Junction. This comes from one of my favorite films, Bad Santa. The kid is on, Thurman, Thurman, Merman, is on Billy Bob's lap, Santa. and the kid says,

what's it like at the North Pole? And Bad Santa says, like the suburbs. And the kid says, which one? And Bad Santa says, Apache Junction, what the fuck do you care?

And like the delivery is just outstanding. It's a great movie. And that he comes up with the random ass Apache Junction is, is terrific and it's a random line from a movie. I love that movie. I don't know how it slips through the cracks is not like a top comedy of the last 20 years. Agreed.

What, did somebody drop you on your head as a kid? Drop me on my own head? Bro. How do you drop? That little guy was so precious. He was so precious. Yeah. What's he doing now?

I will tell you shortly. Not so precious anymore. He's probably a grown man. hasn't been that long has it also valid question asked what billy bob thornton's doing right now is he he uh any given time i don't know what he's doing cool guy right i hope i hope so too so breck kelly is now 27 years of age how time flies he's 5 foot 10 he was born in vancouver uh this is what this is what our guy looks like now just a fucking stud dude yeah just a stud just a stud what's he doing these days well this you know it it first of all he's got the parenthetical actor on his wiki so that's a good start yeah

but then the first line is that he's an actor known for his role as thurman merman in the 2003 film bad santa well that's what's called leaving on a high note that's what's called saying like i'm out i'm leaving the craps table and most of these folks don't know when to do it. I've got bad news. He came back and reprised his role in the 2016 sequel Bad Santa 2. This is an addition to... It's hard to repeat. It's

really hard to repeat. Not many players can do it. He was also in Like Mike 2, The Sandlot 2, big sports guy, I guess. Unaccompanied Miners. I missed that one. And trick or treat. It's hard to repeat

other people's movies. he was set up to fail. He's the Deshawn Watson of acting. Like just totally like where's the help? Sandlot 2?

I didn't even know that movie happened. I'd forgotten as well. Where's the help? Yeah. First half, bad santa elite, first half just, just amazing.

Watch it every year and you will catch me laughing out loud on that one. People naming out their boats after their wives is a weird thing, isn't it? That's a real thing, isn't it? It happens a lot, it doesn't it? Yeah, it's always like Celeste is the name of the boat.

Celeste. No offense, they're Celeste. No, none. Wonderful name. What do you think a Celeste does for a living? Pottery, sure. Pottery, right? And I love pottery.

I don't know if Celeste is a potter. You don't think so? Doesn't work the wheel? I don't think so. Celest? Yeah, I feel like Celeste. Yeah, she's kind of a hippie. Huh.

I don't know a lot of Celeste. And I don't think Celeste are marrying dudes who are the type of guys that would like name their boats after their wives. Okay, well, then give me a name of a boat from a gentleman. A Vanessa. Vanessa. Vanessa is totally yacht guy's wife of Vanessa. Samantha.

We're not parking our cars in the same garage here as Dave would say. I just think about the first time the guy struggles to dock his boat. He's like, honey, I named it after you. It's just such a, it's, I would love it if women started naming their boats after guys. Dick. Dave. Rick. Barry.

Doug. Oh, did you know there's sites that are devoted to naming boats? kind of like baby name generators. I'm seeing that now on my machine, yeah. Like it's a real market for naming boats, dude. And yet with Rod Raft and Apache Junction, I mean... Rod Raft is sick, dude. Rod Raft is sick.

Rod Raft is the guy's boat that all the younger ladies want to get on if he weren't married, you know, if he weren't happily married. Rod Raft would be a bachelor pad. But for me, Rod Raft would be a family boat. What else you got? Frank asks. Not really nice. More of a directive here.

Create the name of a badass motor vehicle using the name of a state. I know you got some good ones here. You were excited to see this. I'd drive a Ford, Idaho. No, Udaho. Right. Like you could say stuff like that. Idaho is a great name.

Like, what about a... For a person? No. No, not so much a person. person, more of a motor vehicle like the, like the questioner asks. It's confusing to me that they haven't come out with a pickup truck, a large pickup truck called a Texas. Good point.

Dude's what to eat that shit up. Yeah, no doubt. There is. And then you could be the biggest Texas dealer in Texas? That's really good. There is a small pickup truck, the Chevy Colorado. I know. but and that actually works

nice pickup too it works Colorado works alliteration almost same first letter I like my alliteration to be the same sound

oh my God did you just correct alliteration yeah alliteration is first letter is it not onomatopoeia is like a repeating sound onamonopoeia is like

whoosh ohanamonopia is something you Yeah. Sounds like the word. Sounds like the word. Got it. Alliteration. If we peel back the layers of alliteration, you might be able to get away with same letter, but it's really the same sounds in a row. Same sounds. Really? Yes.

You are so worried that that might not be the case. I am a touch worried. Just because I'm so sure of it. Well, I am confident that... Do you know a game I will fuck you up in? Categories. You might. I don't... I'm not really familiar with you. I was hoping for you to be passionate about that guy.

game is a great game. I actually think I I won a Scatogories at the beach with the in-laws one year. I think I have a little trophy. Listen, man, when you're ready to come up

from the NIT, no offense to the lovely in-laws. Oh, what are you saying? But I would wipe the floor with your in-laws at Scatigories. Like, I'm looking at them like a 16-seed. Wow. No offense to your lovely in-laws.

Well, no offense to them either, but I never played the game and I walked away with the trophy. Exactly, bro. I know they don't listen to this pod. The alliteration, the occurrence of the same letter or sound at the beginning of a Jason or closely connected word. So I guess you take the dub on that.

But I'm not calling it alliteration unless the sounds are the same. Chevy, Colorado, Mitsubishi, give me an M state. Montana, obviously. The Mitsubishi, Montana. Exactly. I can see the. ads now. Mountainous background, morning light, Elf. Shots panning up. No, you don't come too strong with the,

you don't come too strong with the elf. Elk in the distance. The consumer is going to see right through it. You save the elk for the Liberty Mutual or whatever. Mutual of Omaha? Mutual of Omaha. Is that what it is? I don't know. What is that with the elk? Some investment thing. Oh, Mutual of Omaha appears to be a lion.

Yeah. The elk is the stag. It's some sort of rich people logo. Rich people love that logo. It's this one, right? But what the fuck is the company? They're not doing a good job if, but there's the thing about advertising for, for your rich people stuff. Like rich people know where to go. Right. It's almost like a waste of, they just call each other. Yeah. I saw a great commercial for how to stay rich as fuck. There was a, there was an elf. on there. Can you tell me what was that brand? No, you just call your friend. Yeah, that's the Reddit

for rich people. Where do you siphon your assets through? Right. Yeah. Hey, what is that? I got a $50 tax bill this year and I'm appalled. Who are you using? Exactly. Who are you using to make that disappear? Yes.

Hey, um, what the fuck is that? The Hartford. Heartford. Don't know what they do. Do they do rich people stuff? The Hartford Financial Services Group Incorporated. Yep. United States-based investment and insurance company. Yep.

Just another way to get your money down to the Cayman Islands. That's right. The Hartford. Founded in 1810. See, and they've been around a long time. I'm on to you, Hartford. A bunch of listeners have the Hartford for their investment strategies. Sorry.

They really could update this. I mean, is that their logo? Yeah, is this not the one you're thinking of? It's nowhere near as good as the commercials. Got a little hang down. The Hartford Elk is unit sticking out, his silhouette. And I'm not impressed.

I mean, the Hartford. How about the fact that when they were drawing out that logo, they were like, do we give it a dick? Like, you actually had to have that conversation. Like, even if you were going off a picture of an animal and it was there or it wasn't there, you still have to talk about it. Most things, like, I always think about the Bronco statue outside the stadium. I'm like, they had to make a conscious decision to give that horse a dick or not. Yeah? Same with the airport.

There's a big horse there too. Look it up. Did they give that horse a dick? There's a focus group involved I can tell you that much That's what I'm saying That's like a $10 million horse sculpture They talk about every

Every angle Damn you're not kidding Right Denver Love horse statues there Is this thing for real The one outside the stadium Oh the one outside the airport

Yeah that that Okay There's something with that airport That you need to know about Okay Have you never heard about the Denver airport conspiracy stuff? No, I've been through it once.

No, well, you're maybe not gonna be so happy about being through it. Just Google Denver Airport conspiracies. Okay, I'm to do this now. Yeah, I want to get your reaction. We're onto something here with this. I mean, good God. Does that thing have a dick?

That's that big blue horse outside of E-terminal? It's the worst, bro. When you land in Denver, you get in your Uber, you're like, how far is the city? Hour and 20 minutes, bro. Really? About. Okay? You're in the small, it's just flat.

There's these giant mountains. And I love Denver. It's an amazing place once you get there. But you're basically landing in Laramie. And you pull out of the terminal, right as you get that news, you see big blue horse. Huge big blue horse. but I don't remember if it had a unit. Are you seeing a conspiracy stuff?

Yeah. Talk to me. So basically there's a theory that there's a bunch of shit underground there. Okay. And some of the murals on the walls as you're going through the moving sidewalks to pick some pretty sketchy stuff

if you stop and look. You don't have to look hard, do you read? I mean, it's like they're trying to tell you that there's something going on there. Nazi runways, remote locations, underground bunkers, aliens, and artistic depictions of the apocalypse. Yeah, dude, just bought a people magazine,

Hudson News, and you don't look up. There's people screaming on the wall, people with big swords, people with gas masks. Dude, why is there a person with a gas mask? next to the moving sidewalk. Why don't they just change these things?

Because they're just they're unafraid. They're just not even worried about telling on themselves, bro. Whatever's going on there, I don't know, but they got a big horse. We were talking about dicks on logos. The Hartford group, they actually hired some people

and they sat in a room and somebody was like, not too big. Ha! Look at that poor thing, man. I mean, maybe it's a bad angle. Well, as long as that thing's got his portfolio in order, his wife's going to be just fine with it.

Net worth of about three inches. It's a poor elk? Yeah, the Hartford, I think, is the... And we might be talking about the wrong ads completely. So, don't get me wrong. What is that? That's Tesco buttermilk. Is that a real brand?

Yeah. I need everybody to Google. Tesco buttermilk. T-E-S-C-O. T-E-S-C-O buttermilk. Speaking of logos with with hogs in there. What are you Googling, dude? You know what?

State is never going to get a car name. Rhode Island. Rhode Island needs to undergo the biggest rebrand in the history of states to ever get anybody to name anything after it. Providence is lovely. Used to wish I lived in Providence, and when I was in New England, it was just too far from the facility.

Some Patriots do. Some Patriots do. I learned that once. Chris Collinsworth teach you that? No, you told me. Oh, I told you that. Fuck. Delaware, probably not going to get a luxury car. Dodge Delaware.

No, dude. You know what a Dodge Delaware does? It sits in traffic in front of a toll booth. Correct. Eating food from a sheets or something. Sheets or a, or Wawa. I don't, I don't, I don't know. I just put you on the spot, actually. Wawa.

What a political answer. because you know that our heat map like a shot chart talked about on the pod a couple days ago it's a lot of Philly people and they take their Wawa very seriously good thing I wasn't on the pod like Sunday night R-E Philly

Oh you were mad did you listen to the pod Monday because I brought up the fact that you were mad about your team winning a game. Well, that's unfair because while I was big mad, it took 22-0 hours for me to become all-in on what Philly. What Philly did.

Pulled. Yeah. So it's just like, yeah. I just need some time. It's nothing, burger. Alaska, though, is going to be a car or a truck real soon. It's going to be a truck real soon. Look out for Alaska in the near future.

Vermont, not happening. Yeah. Guam, territories. The Jeep Guam. Jeep Guam. It's such a cute little, it's small, it's beachy.

Jeep's first small. It's like a Suzuki sidekick, but modernized and really actually very good looking if you haven't seen it. By Jeep Guam. Jack asks, what's the most out-of-line favor

anyone has ever asked of you? Listen, I've been asked some pretty atrocious shit. A lot of it has to do with just money. Yeah, actually, same answer, and not from me, but from you. What did I ask you? No, no, no. Hey, can I get to Chris because I have a business proposition for it? That's actually probably the most out of line.

You heard any good ones? Well, it's usually the normal stuff. But it's like, hey, hey, guy, can you jeopardize your friendship so that I can get investor in my stupid idea. Somebody I knew once shot me a business proposal or like a concept type thing and was like, yeah, but did you sign the NDA? And I was like, I'm not like, I'm not going to talk about it, dude. Like I barely want to have this conversation.

Like I'm going to be sprinting to the dinner table tonight. I'd be like, guess what happened today? Somebody ran me down to pitch something. It was cool. The NDA included like some sort of clause where if I, I told anybody I had to give up like a million dollars. Wow. And I was like, this is interesting.

That's fucking brilliant, actually. Not so much because didn't even get by me, dude. I'm like the capital police when it comes to fine print. I mean, God, yeah, he just rushed the... Hey, sign here. Yeah. What am I signing? It's an autograph, Chris.

Just sign it. Yeah. When you sign things, you know, receipts and stuff. Yeah. Do you ever, without thinking, put a jersey number on it? Fuck no, dude. Have you ever?

No. Like you just sign a bunch of autographs and then you go to the convenience store. You have to sign for something and you actually put a 56 on it. That doesn't happen, dude. I'm not saying on purpose. Also, I haven't signed an autograph in seven months. That was like in person. An easy feeling.

You might actually come out of this pandemic, making your, taking more care of my... Shapes look like letters. Greg Williams used to tell me, he used to give me a lot of shit, and hold the Greg Williams jokes for 15 seconds, but he used to say,

if you got a shitty autograph, I look at some of you guys' autographs, how you write your name is how you're going to perform and that sort of thing. And he really subscribed to that. And I said, dude, you're fucking nuts, bro. All I had to do was like Google,

I think it was Michael, Jordan's signature. Google, like any of the best at what they do, their signatures are really shitty because they have to do it a lot. Which begs the question, why is my signature shitty? It's because I can't write.

Do you know who has a beautiful signature? Who, who? Howie Long. Oh, it's gorgeous. Loves it. Stunning. I mean... Big swoop. Work of art. H-O-F-0-0-0. Have a nice day partner.

Wow. Oh, that's what he says when he... Something like that. You know, he's a pro, dude. Yeah. He's a fucking gem that guy. And by the way, the whole thing yesterday, I didn't want to post this,

but my dad had a birthday this week. Oh. January 6th and... A feast of the epiphany. Sure. Also, Howie Long's birthday. Yeah, sure. Dad, love you.

I told you that in real life. life. So, you know, sometimes when you post, it's almost like you didn't get a chance to call somebody. Right. It's a weird dynamic, especially when everybody knows your dad. So dad, happy belated in the podcast world. I already talk to you in real life. Um, yeah, have a bite of my food. That's terrible. The worst. Or, you know, like somebody just be like, can I get a piece of that? Yeah, answers no. Well, what, what would I say? Like, no, your hands gross me out. That's what I say. You just got back from the bathroom. You were just touching your face.

Like, it's, it's not, like this is a salad. It's not shrimp cocktail. Like you grab a piece of my lettuce off my plate. Like even Miller's late night, elite late night food.

Get your own app. Right. Yes. Yes. Get your own apps. Correct. This was pre-pandemic too. When I ask you,

do you want anything? And I'm not talking about the whole cliche of like, look, me and Meg were one germ. were one unit of germs. If you're not my lovely wife, that also includes my kids with their booggery hands. If we're not one unit, get your own apps.

Personal blooming onions. It's a third pot I'm mentioning this on. It's not about not being able to eat an entire blooming onion. It's about not one people's greasy hands. People lick their fingers, dude. Last week we talked about buffets. I'm talking about appetizers now. The personal pan pizza

put pizza hut into the stratosphere I love it of pizza chain. I love it. Yeah. Nothing like a personal pan pizza. Personal pan pizza. Now that's alliteration.

That is alliteration by the definition too. Oh, here's a terrible favor. This is the all time worse favor. All time worse. So, also I hate it when people ask to borrow toothpaste. Germs. toothpaste is not like people do not handle with care it's like right on the bristle for sure

I don't think I've ever been asked that question I've been asked and I've asked huh but it's a bullet you're not you're not one to use a lot or give out Super Bowl tickets terrible favorite ask somebody just hey I'm guilty of that I think no I know but like you knew that when you asked that you were going to pay yeah you might have even any tickets I think People assume tickets are free, dude. Right. If you have an NFL playing friend, tickets cost oftentimes hundreds of dollars.

If you play somewhere like, you know, where I play, it'd be a little cheaper. But it adds up. If you have five, six people in town and you get tickets at a $100 rate and it's like reduced from the face value or whatever, you're still like, if everybody doesn't offer to pay, that's still $600 a week on tickets. So like that's what you don't think about when people,

or like, hey, you got any tickets this weekend or where can I find some tickets? Hey, you got to hook up for tickets? And then I go on Stubhub and there's a million tickets. So what are you asking me? You know what I mean? All right, quick bit of housekeeping. Something I love to say.

Sunday night, it's just gonna be too late to get a good pot off. I mean, with this triple header we've got going deep into the night, I want to watch the games, digest them, give you guys a long, hard look at these games Monday afternoon. So I think we're going to probably drop the pod Monday afternoon, tape it Monday morning, Steve, myself, maybe special guests,

and we'll break down the weekend's action. So look for that. Anything else, make? Nope. All good. Just to peel back the curtain a little bit, that was our second take getting out of here. First time I asked make it.

He said no, bitch. But, and I have no, no issue calling you a B. You got no issue calling me a bitch? No, I'll call you a B any day the week. But I just didn't mean it. I just said the, I said the B word. So not this time. Mm-mm.

All right, y'all take care.