Green Light with Chris Long - NFL's Most Motivated Teams & Players in WK18. Sports Grievances & Ad Men for 2022 NFL Storylines.

Episode Date: January 6, 2023

(2:09) - Kung Fu Tea, Chris' Code Breaks & Sports Grievances. (30:28) - NFL's Most Motivated Players & Teams in Week 18 with Performance Incentives & Playoff Implications. (1:11:20) - Chris & Macon Return as 'Ad Men' for NFL 2022 Storylines. Green Light Spotify Music: https://open.spotify.com/user/951jyryv2nu6l4iqz9p81him9?si=17c560d10ff04a9b   Spotify Layup Line: https://open.spotify.com/playlist/1olmCMKGMEyWwOKaT1Aah3?si=675d445ddb824c42   Green Light Tube YouTube Channel: https://www.youtube.com/c/GreenLightTube1   Green Light with Chris Long:   Subscribe and enjoy weekly content including podcasts, documentaries, live chats, celebrity interviews and more including hot news items, trending discussions from the NFL, MLB, NHL, NBA, NCAA are just a small part of what we will be sharing with you. https://www.greenlightpodcast.com/ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Download the app, bet big, win bigger. And I got to tell you, I really like the sound of that. And with win bet, it's just that easy. Winbet has what you need to win. So if you're from Arizona, Colorado, Indiana, Louisiana, Michigan, New Jersey, New York, Tennessee, or right here in Virginia, sign up today to receive this special offer. New users can take advantage of win bets. Bet $25, get $50 in free bets.

Download the win bet app now or visit WynNNB. EET.com. Download the app, bet big, and win bigger. Let's get after it. Terms and conditions apply must be 21 or older and present in a state where win bet is available. Gambling problem in Arizona, call 1-800 next step. In Colorado, Indiana, New Jersey, and Virginia, call 1-800 gambler. And in Michigan, 1-800-2707-1-17.

Tennessee, y'all 2. 1-8009-9-9. Welcome to the Green Light Podcast. We are rocking and rolling into the weekend on the Friday Freak Show, Macon and Chris hanging out with you. Having a great little Friday. Thanks for joining. It's a big weekend on the NFL circuit.

We'll be talking those playoff implication games. Who's playing for what? Who wants to prove what? Who will have the biggest performances? Also, which players are looking for a little extra cheddar? They've got some incentives. What do they need to get that extra check? We'll run through plenty of guys looking for performance bonuses.

We revisit our preseason. predictions and it's a little admin an admin on NFL 2022 storylines check that out at the end y'all enjoy have a wonderful weekend they call me freaky flowing and low we know no love the green line thing the freak show welcome to the freak show hey I worry that we had too much fun before the show I know we had a lot of fun vibes were high ordered lunch uh I ordered you guys slushies from Kung Fu Tea here in Charlottesville. You know, sometimes I'll think the whole day about ordering a slushy when I get home. I can see why, because I will never forget this slushy. Okay, so I got you guys these slushies. I got a couple of us, my favorite flavor, which is

taro. I have no idea how to describe the flavor. Butter on popcorn. I love it. It's purple. This is the most disgusting thing I've ever put in my mouth. Anybody out there that's ever had a tarot slush, you know he's not, he doesn't have taste. Well, what about, could it have been the Turkish food that I ate right before? Yeah, maybe it didn't mix well. Give it another shot. Reed, what did you think? You had the purple one.

Shoot me straight. High sugar. You think there's a lot of, I guess 30% sugar I put. Yeah. What does that mean? That means like, oh, it's like a slight scale. If you get it normal, you would get three times. Oh, I think you needed the sugar.

You thought there was a lot of sugar in there? You're saying there's a lot of sugar in there at 30%. Yeah, and I'm thinking three times. Okay, well, tell us if... What about Reed? Didn't this taste like ass? Buttered popcorn? Yeah.

A percent. Ass, not as much. Like wet ass. Haven't tried it. Like cold buttered popcorn. Yeah. That you drink. Do you taste that when you taste it?

I didn't know how to describe it, but that makes a lot of sense. So that's one of my grievances against you. We'll be airing some more grievances in a few minutes. Hey, hey, hold on a minute there, player. Okay, it's a combo of ground tarot, which... Not for you. Who knows? Jasmine Tee.

Okay. Milk, sugar, and tapioca pearls. I think tapioch. I don't think I like tapioca. It's good. It's all good. It's pudding for old folks, yeah? Yeah.

Hey, can I ask you guys a question? I got two questions for the chat here. One's a code break. Is it a code break to small? smell the deodorants in in CVS. As long as I have the plastic covering on top you can smell them. Oh, I take the plastic covering

off. Oh, that's what you know. Wait, you mean the second plastic covering? Yeah. The first one. I take the first and the second off. Oh, yeah, yeah. I think that's a code break? Code break. Really? Yep. Can't do that. Damn. Yeah. You can't expose. People be walking by me in the aisle and I'm all self-conscious and shit. By the way, you're almost 40. How have you not settled on a deodorant? Well, they come out with all new

types of, you know, smells and fragrances like every month now. You're right. You're living better. I'll try them all. I've been setting my ways here. Yeah. And I ditched aluminum. Aluminium.

Yeah, aluminum. So it's not aluminum. No. I was thinking they were putting like Reynolds wrap up your armpits. Yeah. You go, you a deodorant or an antiperspirant? Don't know. Well, you got that.

Have you told the people? About sweating? Yeah. I've told the people I used to sweat a lot. Now I don't. I did Botox under my arms. So you can probably just go D-O. It's the best thing in the world, dude.

Like, yeah, I got a fucking big line on my forehead and all that. And, you know, like if I had to choose between doing Botox to fix my Frankenstein head or to stop sweating, I chose under the arms. Yeah, I would suggest it for anybody out there with, what is it? I don't know. I don't know what the medical term is. Hypo something. Yeah.

I've got it. So I'm a survivor. Wow. Yeah. Okay. Second question. You know when your charger's low at home and you have a significant other and their phones, you know, plugged in and your phones like low charge and you're looking at their phone and you're like, can I take their phone off the charger? What is the Mendoza line for where it becomes a code break?

Like under what percentage of charge does my significant? other need to have for me to abstain from switching my phone out with hers. It's a good question that I think I understand. Yeah, basically, like, imagine Kate's just plugged her phone in 30 minutes ago, and she might be in the green. She might be at, like, 28%. Your phone's at, like, 1 or 2%. Uh-huh. Yeah, like, I think it depends more on yours.

Yeah. If you're at 1 or 2, this is a triage situation. You've got to get on the charger. Okay. I was going to say, if she's in the green, I can change her out. Yeah. To leave it on all night, overnight, yours, I would want her to be north of, of 35. Not the best question. Not a great question. I guess the follow-up question would be, where's your charger? Why isn't your charge? Why don't you have a charger on your side of the bed?

We're in the kitchen. Say we're in the kitchen. There's one charger. I guess that's when I would say, hey, wife, mind if I and then there's no, you take out the guessing. wife is uh she has what's called little man's complex so you know it's like she guards things you know like i take a sip out of a water that's on the kitchen counter for like a day and she's like that's my water i'm like i'm there's fucking water everywhere i'm with meg you're with meg yeah you know germs okay this slushy was awful well thank you for it no problem do you want it no no your mouth was on it oh you're sick every three days dude I get an immune disorder, an autoimmune disorder.

You better hope I don't go and get the diagnosis. You're going to be feeling right bad about yourself. I feel worse if I drink after you. No, no, no, that's the thing, though, because your immune system would just say, nah, whereas mine takes in the illness. Reed, what do we have today? We got a lot of fun today. It's freaky.

This is the freak show. Yeah, feeling freaky. but we we've got some guys making some money and break it some records we're going to talk a little bit about that Macon's got his admin hat on well that's my admin hat and I will be wearing it when it gets to be the segment yeah dude I brought it in I used to like my third or fourth year in the league I had these fucking stupid hats that I got into like you know because we had to wear suits on the road so I bought these dumb ass fucking derby hats and I got like three or four of them in my closet never threw them away for situations where you've got to play dress up. I feel like just...

Dress like Dom Draper. The monitor is like eight feet away, but I feel like this is the best I've looked in the studio. Yeah, you look good. It's a good hat, though. Oh, I think it is the hat. It's the hat. It's a combo, yeah.

Okay. I got a little Walter White going on. Yeah. That's good. International sex symbol he is. Pencil and some facial hair. I don't need to pencil it in re. Just let me grow up for a few months.

I will say that you look like the blonde cavalier Whenever what was it two years ago Huh You look like the blonde cavalier Like if we had a blonde cavalier Yeah The UVA mascot you looked exactly like him If he had blonde hair with the mustache

Oh thanks Yeah The personification of our mascot You posted a picture If the mascot had albinism Oh you mean when I had Facially yes Oh yeah yeah yeah

Yes okay all right Yes because you posted a picture you look... I've been there. I've been where he is currently for two minutes. I don't know. We should probably post that picture, you know? I think you did post. You looked good, man. Yeah, I don't know. It was a Twitter post.

Grow that back. Because I remember it was... How much money for you to grow your beard out? The problem is it just looks so stupid for six weeks. Yeah, but then week seven, it's like the best you've ever looked. I would rock it all the time. But my wife hates it.

Yeah, she doesn't want you to look all hot. Oh. A bunch of competition. Good point. Yeah, right now, safe. $3,000. You get some, uh, huh? What do you mean safe?

Well, you look like a make-a-wish kid. You know, you could get some sympathy. So she'd rather have... She'd rather you look sickly when you leave the house, not like... She'd rather... She'd rather have sickly to herself than hot. and just, yeah. Open for business.

Exactly. Yeah. Okay. Exactly. That's why my wife let me walk around with a mullet for like two years, three years. Yeah. Had a man bun for a while. She was like, yeah, sure, no problem.

Yeah. Yeah. I had one of those for a second. That works well into grievances, sports grievances, right? It does? I think so. Yeah. Talk me through that segue.

Well, we've got, you were talking. talking about how your wife might have a grievance against her cut. Yeah, that's true. Okay. Yeah. But she was okay with it. How high of a grievance really is it. Let's do a grievance scale. I can just gas the studio. You can smell that? No, but I'm watching your faces. I can basically smell it on this side of the room. I guess first thing is grievances. Y'all had this story that you keep referencing. It's a soccer thing. And you said you'd, I don't know, tell me about it. Yeah, I'll tell you about it. I don't, I know it like 60% well, which I think that is a good percentage to convey. All right. So the United States men's national team coaches Greg Burholter. Right.

He was, uh, he played collegiate soccer at North Carolina. Yep. Uh, where he met his now wife. Yeah. All right. So in the World Cup, just put that, just stick that in your pocket. Uh-huh. In the World Cup, he's got a player name Gio Raina, a young cat, good player, son of Claudio Raina, former star at the University of Virginia. Yep. Now, Claudio Raina is married to Danielle, now Raina. She played college ball at the University of North Carolina. Got it.

So we got three tar heels in Oahu. Right, right. But just keeping it together. So Gio didn't play so much at the World Cup. Right. and we don't know why. Yep. And then he was thrown under the bus by,

will we say Greg Burhalter directly? Yes. Yes. He intimated that a player through a little shit fit and then had to apologize to the team for throwing the shit fit. And it turns out it's Gio. It was not hard to read between the lines who it was.

It was always going to be Gio. And he admitted to it in an Instagram post the day after Burrardt. Right, right, right. And Gio is 20 years old, plays for Brussia Dortmund in Europe.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. So then in the last week or so, US soccer comes out and says they're looking

into an incident involving Greg Burhalter from his path. Greg comes out, gets ahead of it, says, hey, regrettably,

I kicked my now wife when we were in college during a night of drinking. Kicked her. Kicked her in her legs. Interesting that he said legs and not leg.

Also, So it's kind of like an MMA situation. You can get, if you're a mixed martial artist and you hit somebody out in the streets, that's assault with a deadly weapon. I feel like a soccer player. Same thing. So not cool. Don't kick anybody, period.

But I guess he was 18 or so. Once more, they were in college. But people are kind of scratching their heads. Why did this come out? Why now? This is strange. Well, it only took a day or two. for it to come to light that the whistleblower, so to speak,

was mother of Gio Raina, cat who didn't play very much at the World Cup, Danielle Raina. There for a few hours, the story was it was Claudio. Gio's mother has fallen on the sword, saying, nah, it was me. It's taken the credit almost. Right.

And she's also said that our guy, Greg, here, is minimizing what happened, that it was actually much worse than, how he describes it and very traumatizing for Greg's wife at the time at UNC when they were kids. Point being, this is like a really intense, hard-o youth sport parent energy times seven. Well, also, you know, when you throw people under the bus, you never know what happens as a result. You make enemies. Right.

And if you've kicked people in your past, maybe you should, you know, be careful. Be careful. Hey, who in the world knows that I kicked my wife? The parents of Gio Raina. Yeah, well, he's. To add, Greg and Claudia, you have known each other since they were in high school. They played on the national team together. They are best friends.

Danielle and Rosalyn, Greg's wife, are best friends from their playing days at UNC, which you mentioned. Boy, this is this league. This league. Well, not anymore. Yeah, well, I mean. They certainly, Greg was like a father figure to geo in his past. Yeah. This isn't as juicy as I thought it was going to be.

I'm going to be honest. Okay. You guys were all week like this. We're just wait. Well, maybe I didn't explain it very well. It is pretty juicy. I mean, it's fucking juicy, but it's not like a Georgia peach juicy. Apparently at the World Cup, Claudia, was going around and telling the general manager,

the national team, Brian McBride, and a couple of, other higher-ups. I've got this shit on Greg Burrhalter. Why is he not playing my son? He's a bad dude after being... I think that's called close friends. Blackmail. Sure. Yeah. I mean, it is interesting. Greatest men's soccer player in the history of the country or one of them tries to blackmail the current coach to get his son to play. It's like the utmost soccer mom, soccer dad. You're right. It is. And, you know, the, the kicking is the it's the weird thing to me. It's like, uh, yeah. I never heard of a, like a...

One time, one time I was kicked. You were? I was kicked one time. I, uh, if there are any kids in the car, well, fuck it. I, uh, I told a friend of mine that something didn't exist when we were kids, and he was so upset that he kicked me. Mm-hmm. Santa Claus. Well.

Oh, yeah, the kids. You know, um, my kids really want to watch Captain Underpants. Jesus. And evidently in Captain Underpants, they tell the kids that Santa's not real. They blow the whole deal. So be careful out there. Maybe they're wrong. Well, they could be wrong.

I'm giving that like a four on the juice scale. I don't think. That's like a Macintosh apple. I don't give a hoot about soccer. And like I texted, I was like, oh, God damn to some people. Yeah. The NBA is way more entertaining. Belch.

Yeah. I. I have an NBA sports grievance. Go ahead. Did you guys see this play involving John Morant? No. No. Let me stop.

If it's the NBA. All right. So you can see the score. Jesus. I got a grievance. Look at Charlotte's court. Oh. Can you pull up a court after this?

I can pull up a court. Please pull up a court after this. You're not going to believe the court. I don't know which one you're thinking of. I don't know that you know. College, college. Oh, I don't know. Okay.

Yeah. So in basketball. the 24 second clock doesn't start until somebody touches it. Right, correct. That's why they're always walking the ball down the corner. Just like let the ball die in the opposite paint and Charlotte

lets 27 seconds go off the clock before they actually come and do anything. Oh, so wow, so yeah, it doesn't start to oh my God, dude. The game clock runs. What a glitch in the matrix. Look at official number 55. He's like, go ahead, pick the ball up. And this angle didn't have it, but the Charlotte Bench is freaking out like come come come.

Jesus Christ, nobody does anything. This is like basketball 101. Yeah. But they're down 30, bro. I think that's why the bench is freaking out. They're like, let's get the fuck out of here, dude. Oh, the clock's running.

You just run out the clock. No, I'm saying, like, you got to hurry up and get up there and get the clock running. So we can go home. But the game clock was running. The game clock. Oh, yeah, the game clock is running. Yeah, no mind. It's a shot clock that didn't start.

Yeah, I'm an idiot. What's the jaw is a. What's the court you want? us to see. Central Arkansas. Okay. Now I got to watch a lot of these games because I'm doing these two, three, four game parlays. Just, I forgot, we're not allowed to talk gambling on this show anymore.

Right. But this court is something else for a few reasons. Scotty Pippin, of course, is the most famous. Yes, Scottie Pippen Court. Central Arkansas alum. But his signature, so that's a, that's the old court there. His signature is so big on this court. It goes from sideline up to mid court

and then behind the basket to the left which you can't see is a giant banner of Scotty Pippin with like three different pictures of him shooting. I don't think their donor base is very strong down there. And it says Scotty Pippin in huge letters. One of the 50 greatest players in NBA

history. That one of those Michael Jordan doesn't have that at UNC. Nah, that's that's uh, actually is that Roy Williams court at UNC? Yeah, Roy Williams at the Dean Smith Center. Point, Scotty Pippin. Yeah.

Jesus Christ, that's big. That's like the ECU North Carolina logo. Yeah. Goes from the red zone to the red zone. He was number 33. The threes don't have a lot of symmetry. I wonder if they would have given him another shot. Okay, I didn't love that one.

Can I try it once more? They didn't have another piece of paper. Yeah, right. Okay, grievances. I got one. Gianni Infantino. the giant baby, as we know him. Not only did he give Salt Bay airtime.

Salt Bay, by the way, you know how presidents? They look way different, one term to the next. It's like he's been the president for the last couple years. Holy shit, the guy was like an international sex symbol. Now he looks like one of those people that they dig up every 10 years to put new clothes on him in Indonesia. He really has aged. It looks like he's got the Oh no, that's an SNL skit.

I was about to say he's got the Carl Ravich hair going on. Well, so one bad thing that the giant baby did was get him down on the field. He was harassing a bunch of World Cup players. The next thing is he goes to Pele's funeral and he's doing, he's taking selfies in front of the casket. No. Yes.

Yes. Look it up. The guy's desecrating the ceremony. And by the way, Pelae died, and I feel like it was a trending topic for eight hours, which just goes to show you nobody cares about you. I mean, he's the greatest soccer player of all time, one of the most famous athletes ever. And it was like Barbara Barbara Walters died. Did you miss that? I missed it.

Oh, I did not miss that. I missed that. Nobody's going to give a shit when we die, dude. That sounds like a grievance. Is that a grievance? No, my grievances is the giant baby. No, I don't want people to think about it. The giant baby.

Cowboy, do you have anything to say about deceased journalist Barbara Walters? Rest and peace to a lovely woman. Look at that. What did she do, read, in her life? Oh, ask hard-hitting questions. Did you do that? Yeah, sorry. Hard-hitting questions.

We got to the truth of a lot of situations. Yes, she did. Damn, that's very respectful. You've really come a long way since it's pretty wife. Four hours of trending. Like, I found out she died yesterday. Wow.

Yeah. She died on December 30th. Yeah. She died last year. Actually, come to think of it, I think Betty White died on December 31st year ago. Is that right? They don't want to stay up late.

Hey, check me on that. Even all. Type to December 31st, 2021. See? I got another grievance. Sticks with me. No tailgating at the fucking, that's a big

no tailgating at the national championship that's So Fy Stadium TCU fans Georgia fans I imagine they're among the elites when it comes to tailgating and throwing down yeah yeah yeah yeah I went to Fort Worth one time

yeah like RVs as far as I can see oh man those cats are they do it like well they're not going to be able to do it on Monday why why some parking situation so far's like not in the parking lot you know what they need to do they need to

big enough? What do they do with Rams and Chargers games? Well, nobody's, nobody cares. They just don't tailgate? That's a grievance that, not to stop us here, but last week when the Rams played the Chargers, the, um, which team, one of the teams was the, was the, the Rams were the away team, and they couldn't even park at their own. Yeah.

They had to stay at the hotel in. It's crazy. It's crazy. Here's what they should do on Monday. They should take over the L.A. River. It's never water in it. Could, that would be so cool. Imagine.

like miles of tailgators in the L.A. River. The reason I got the idea is I'm a big fan of the movie Drive. And in drive, Ryan Gosling spends a lot of time in the L.A. River. And it just seems like it's a rebel without a cause with James Dean. Right. Right. I learned that from you. And I kind of wonder if it's as easily accessible as they made it look in that movie. Like anybody can just go down in the L.A. River.

And if so, I think that's a prime tailgating spot. I think that it worked. It appears this directive is coming from the playoff and not so far. Ah. What did you say? It appears that the directive is coming from the playoff. Uh-uh. No?

I've read like three articles in the last 15 seconds. None of which give a good answer. That's stupid. However, it does appear that the directive is coming from the college football playoffs. The liberals. We got different sources. Yeah. Thank God for Ted Cruz coming through.

He was tweeting. about how this threat this needs to be changed. He quote tweeted three-year letterman, Ted Cruz. Ted Cruz. You know what I think about when I think about Ted Cruz? Dracula. How he was celebrating that Texas Tech National Championship victory in Minneapolis. Yeah.

Yes. My should wait until there's zeros on that clock. He doesn't do well at sporting events. He was at the fucking the Astros game. Yeah. Getting chanted out of Philly. Yeah. Okay.

I don't get political here. you know. Hey, you know that Kevin McCarthy? Yeah. I, you know, he's lost seven in a row, but I hear if with the, with the, with the dolphins and Patriots loss, he could still, he can still grab the seventh seat in the playoff. That's good. I said I wouldn't laugh the second time. He told that show, but it's funny. Thank you. Yeah, he might be under the most pressure, week 18. Yeah. That was a Matt Kingston special there. but yeah we are doing a most uh most motivated people of we know not every podcast has to get off the ground we're driving this we're driving yeah little little road trip well let's start let's let's let's that was a good segue can i give another grievance ah yeah please it's it is annoying that the NFL

draft doesn't have a lottery yeah i mean i guess but there's all these teams incentivized to lose this weekend but where would you stop the lottery because you know i feel like and you you You could tell me, I'm wrong, but the NBA, there's less range between, you know, one and whatever it is and the positional value of picking at the top of the draft, like, for a team without a quarterback, you know, they're there for that reason because it is such a quarterback league. So imagine that Houston didn't get the first pick. I would feel like that would be almost punitive.

You know what I mean? Yeah, I do get it. I just feel like this weekend we'll see so many non-competitive games because some teams want to lose and anything we could do to make that. That's the fun part of the gamesmanship of betting Week 18. It's uncharted territory. I cannot wait. This week we were like, we're not seeing the board.

And then the board just revealed itself to us. And I cannot wait. Yeah. It was like an etchice sketch that had a lot of drawing on it. And then you just erase that bad boy. And then it's like, pow, clear blank canvas. I was thinking Moses with the burning bush. You know?

Oh, I was thinking Moses with the Red Sea. Yep. Okay, motivated people, week 18, and teams. The best moments in a sports fan's life are in football season. I'm not talking about September. I'm not talking about the first week in October. I'm not even talking about the second week in October. I'm talking about when it gets colder, the temperature drops,

the games get bigger, the hits get harder, and you can curl up and watch some meaningful football. I like to do it with a Miller light from the fridge. and a cold frosty mug from the freezer. Frosty mug, meat, a cold, beautiful can of Miller Light from my fridge. That's teamwork. We come together, we can make a great play out there, and the best play to make on a Sunday

is a nice cold Miller Light and a frosty mug at home. That's my favorite thing. Maybe a fire in the fireplace. Yeah, now we're talking. But Miller Light, it's an original, and it's more than that. It's been a fan favorite since 1975. The best part, no matter how you're doing, team plays, Miller Light is always a winner. The perfect beer for Sundays, I gave you the hot

tip. Having that frosty mug is a lot like having home field advantage. I mean, like, it just makes everything better for your boy and your boy's friends who file in every Sunday to enjoy cold, ice cold, Miller Light at my house. I mean, we have a lot of people over and I got to have the Miller Light stocked up. A lot of light beer cuts back on the most crucial ingredient for the Just 96 calories and 3.2 carbs for 12 ounce serving. Miller Lite, quick on its feet, heavy hitting on flavor. No wonder it's been MVP from day one. This football season, enjoy the sweet taste of victory with Miller Light, the original

light beer. Find it pretty much anywhere beer is sold. Go to Millerlight.com slash green light for delivery options near you. It's Miller time. Celebrate responsibly. Miller Brewing Company, Milwaukee, Wisconsin. 96 calories and 3.2 carbs per 12 ounces. Cash app.

The easy way to send, spend, save, and invest with friends. Cash app helps you connect effortlessly with your finances and with your people, and that's money. I love going on to float with my buddies and my custom cash app card. We head out to the James River. We pick up some drinks. We pick up some snacks along the way. Somebody pays with their custom cash app card, and we all share our cash tags and split the bill. That is what friends are for.

Cash app provides us with an easy way to send and spend money, save and invest in stock in Bitcoin. Cash app, however, does not provide a dry pair of pants. You want to remember that when you get off the river. Try the number one finance app in the app store, whether sending, spending, saving, investing, splitting, tipping, donating, or gifting, that's money, and that's cash app.

Download cash app from the app store or Google Play Store today to create your own cash tag. There's so much to talk about. I'll say this. There's always a lot going on under the surface when it comes to incentives at the end of the year. I bring this up yearly. I was in New England.

I think it was like playtime or snaps or that sort of thing. We were playing Miami in a game where we were resting some of the guys that Bill valued, and I didn't get resting. But that's what you wanted. Yeah, that's exactly what I wanted. And I got my incentive.

Did you have to ask? No. But it was also a game where, like, I was in a lot of the packages, and we played starters into the third quarter. But I also thought that when the game got out of hand, I might get pulled. And the game got a, I don't want to get pulled because I love playing in the third and fourth quarter, especially like when we have a lead. That's a new revelation for me.

You didn't say anybody, hey, I'm good to go here. No, because you don't want to do that. You might remind them. Oh. Yeah, it was that type of thing. And then I ended up with a couple hundred smackers, dude, because I finished the season. So there's a lot of guys with hundreds and thousands of dollars on the line. There's some guys with seven figures on the line this weekend.

There was also a time in St. Louis. I always say this. It was Christmas. I think it was like the last week. It was the last week of season. Make the playoffs. We'll get you a $50 best buy gift card. That's not what was happening.

They would have made it. That's a Rams joke. They would have made it higher because it's not going to happen. We'll give you a best buy. For fuck sake. But I had eight and a half sack. Crev Coole incentive. And in the fourth quarter, with like two minutes to go, had a sack.

And it was an enormous incentive. So I'm like, this stuff happens every year. And if you know the players that are waiting on these big paydays, you can kind of, you know, cue in on them a little bit on Sunday. Dwayne Smoot needs six sacks for $250,000. He makes five mil a year.

He's an interior lineman. That's a really good year for an interior lineman. Oh, you're not saying he needs six this week. No, he needs six sacks. He's got five right now. Got it. Yeah, so there's a guy with money on the line. Quentin Jefferson of the Seahawks is at

five and a half and he needs seven to get a half a millie. So that's a lot of money. It's a lot of Does everybody know about everybody else's money leading up? I'm pretty sure that guys are, you know, egging each other on about it. You know, a lot of times a guy might bring it up to a close friend on the team. You don't want to jinx it and tell everybody. You don't want to put too much pressure on yourself.

Now here's a question. Yeah. Is I should know this? Is there an official stack keeper? Or is it because the team's not going to want to give somebody a half. Well, the league. I think the league ultimately determines because, you know, like we always, I tell you about like when there's some back and forth on who should be credited

the sack. You have to turn it into the league. Yeah. Yeah. So I think it's harder for the defensive players though because it's not as like you can't get force fed. Like if you're a receiver and you need three catches, your quarterback knows it. Give me the ball.

Give me the ball. You're at the mercy of the game, like the flow of the game, the offensive line you play, the quarterback a lot, like how quick the quarterback's getting the ball out. Like, oh. And, you know, so pressing. Justin Smith, he has a million dollars lined up for him. If he has a sack and a half this weekend, he's eight and a half, he gets double digits, he gets a mill. So a lot of pressure on him.

And here's an interesting one. Cairo Santos makes $3 million, right? He has an incentive for $750,000. It's a field goal percentage. Yeah, right. Yeah, it's a percentage incentive for kicks. it's 90% he's sitting at 91. So do your math.

All right. I got a word problem for you guys. You ready? Word problem? Yep. Cairo Santos is currently 21 of 23 on the season. This is going to be a math problem. Yeah.

It's closer to a math problem than a word problem. Yeah, okay. He's a fucking teacher. Am I getting a gaslit here? He's a teacher. He's about to give us a math problem. He says you're getting gaslit a little. Cowboy.

He says you're getting gaslit a little. It seems a little gaslit. But I mean, it makes sense to the... I can't fire up for a work problem. I can't do math anymore. I've slowed down a lot on the math. Sorry. All right.

It's a math problem. Cairo Santos is 21 of 23 on the season. He needs to finish at 90%. If he kicks four of five this weekend, will he be below or above 90%? Okay, four of four of five, 20, 21 of 23. So he'd be 25 of 28.

That's right. Right? Okay. So 28. into 100 is going to make the percentage a little less than one if you get 1%. So 25 of 28, 25 of 28 is what percentage 3 in 28? 3 and 28 is a little less than 10. It's actually 9.3. Over 90. Incorrect. No, it's going to be below. It's going to be 90.7. The way you...

It's going to be 90.7. You set a trap. Isn't it 90.7? He'd be 89.2%. The point being he really can't miss a field goal. He can't miss a fucking field goal. Are you any five chances? Well, no, but I mean, like, if he goes one for two, he's fucked.

Yeah. He should decline to kick. That's what I'm saying, dude. Cairo Santos. Oh, my hamstring. Exactly. If I was Cairo Santos, I would... I would...

Oh, hit my foot. The Gardner Minshu with the hammer. Is there any fine print in there? Like, can't fake an injury. I would pay a teammate to run my foot over in the valet line. Here you go. Fluke like symptoms. Hey, I'm going to get $750,000.

I'll give you $50k if you just back your Denali up over my foot. Yeah. Fast, though. Yeah. You know? Don't stretch. Opening kickoff. Boom it.

Pop. Ouch. Stop drinking water like Wednesday. Yeah. Sorry. I think it's the Achilles. We'll get an MRI next week. Mm-hmm.

So he's got some shit on the line. Oh, it's fully intact? And then lastly, Christian Kirk can make a million dollars this weekend, 500 and 500 respectively on these two incentives. 80 catches would get him 500. He's got 78. He'll hit that. And then 1,100 yards.

He's got 1,000 and 9 yards. So it needs 91 more yards. He could make a million this weekend. Yeah. A lot of motivation. But a game that means everything. can't just no

Trevor can't pepper them just to help a buddy out no but if that game gets a little out of hand you know you gotta run the ball well yeah making you were just asking about do guys talk you remember

last year gronk was like I need one more I need one more catch you have to get a real job and Tom was like you'll get that no problem well the problem here is well it's a good thing for Christian Kirk if they got up you know hey your run game can be your

your quick game. That's right. You know, coach. Let's do a little quick game. That's right. Who else is motivated? Those Texans and those bears. Yeah, they're going to lose.

Bears are trotting out Peterman. Yeah. Everybody's got their jokes, but he does lose by 20 plus. He's good at that. He's good at that. But they're playing the wobbly Vikings. Right. But the Vikings, and the Vikings are banged up on their offensive line.

I think they're down to like a third center. I think they're down to another tackle. But the only way that the bear can win this game as Justin Fields. Yeah, but yeah. But what did the Vikings do? It's an interesting question for the Vikings, for the Cowboys.

Like, if you're the Vikings, you assume the Niners are going to handle the cards. You assume you're the three. Yeah, you're not going to leapfrog the Niners. And that's the only thing they're playing for, huh? That's right, yeah. So that becomes interesting. Do you count the Niners to win?

And sit everybody. Yeah. maybe, maybe. 5.5 point, better to be damned. See who wants to lose this thing more. Houston, on the other hand, I mean, like, Indies pretty much locked in for the fifth pick, I think. I don't think they're going to move too much up or down

as a result of winning that game. Yeah, Jeff wants to win the game. He wants to show Kavon, Tibado, who he is. And where Kavon should have stopped is at the Snow Angel. Yes. The go-to-sleep thing was not good. Not good. And then I don't know if Joe Saturday.

Maybe three seconds into the Snow Angel. Yeah. Yeah. When he adjusted the pattern of his arms to avoid the injured player. He couldn't see the writhing so much. He couldn't hear him. You know, he probably sounded like, you know how Arnold Schwarzenegger sounds in the movies when he's struggling?

That's probably what Nick Folles sounded like. A guy couldn't breathe. As soon as he saw that, it was over. cave on. Yeah, dude, it's this weird behavior. Hey, you grind tape. Yeah. Did, uh, you think Icky had a way better year than Evan Hill?

Oh, uh, I saw somebody rated all the first round picks and they, they had Icky about he came on, dude. He really came on. He came on. Which, it's interesting because remember the Giants had the five and the seven. Yeah. And it was pretty much, um, um, um, um, what's it called when you know something's going to happen? It was pretty much predetermined.

Predetermined that the Panthers were going to take a tackle. Now, so the Giants could have taken the tackle they liked, but instead, I guess they were worried somebody might come up for Kvon. So they took Kvon at 5, like Carolina pick who they wanted, Icky, and then they took Evan Neal at 7. It's a good thing the Rams didn't take Matt Ryan. Did you see that blown lead? That was a 2008 draft joke.

Yeah, yeah. Yeah, you got there. Yeah. Yeah. You were two. Yeah. Yep, I get it. Could have been, could have been Vernon Goldston, though. Yeah.

Hey, so, yeah, I, I think that the Colts are locked in pretty much. The Colts are going to try to win. Ellinger is going to try hard. Ellinger, who I don't mind. And Houston's got to lose, right? We were saying this. Maybe Lovie Smith is motivated to win. Maybe he's like, fuck this place.

They're going to fire me anyways. Let me fuck this shit up and win. Let's see if the Texans can win on purpose. Uh-huh. if Lovey Smith can will them to win on purpose. How could the front office put a stop to like a 176 Texans lead at halftime? The easiest way to tank, you're asking?

Bad snaps. You gotta get in with the center. You gotta talk to the center. Talk to the center. That's the center. That's the right answer. Yep. Yeah, hey, $5,000 a snap.

If we're in the red, that thing's over his head. Yep, exactly. Field goal? Yep. Wide right. Yep, exactly. Yeah, that's smart. No more points.

Kenny Goliday is motivated. 76 more catches for $750,000. I saw that part of my take name. And I was like, how do we miss Kenny Goliday is short of an incentive. We had a list of everybody. Holy shit. That's pretty good stuff. Kenny.

Hat tip. There's no financial incentive, but I think Pittsburgh, especially that Pittsburgh D-Line's pretty motivated. They have a real chance to get to the playoffs. They can make playoffs. Tomlin can go to 9 and 8. Oh, wow. And T.J. Watt, you know, almost lost the whole season.

I think Megan just broke his hand on the microphone. I saw that. Ow. You saw that? Yeah. I caught like three of my fingers. Yeah. So, yeah. Hold on.

What were you so excited? Let me get my turn in the top back. Oh, now I remember. I was going to text you this. Yeah. And then I got too tired. Some of the. Tired to text.

That's what happened. That was last night. The, uh, Some of the nerdo websites that actually you and I frequent, there's some Cleveland buzz. Little Cleveland plus two and a half of us. Or action. Yeah.

Yeah. You know, there's buzz. They're going to want to beat them. They're motivated to beat them, right? Miles Garrett said it. There are rivals or whatever you want to call it. They want Deshawn momentum into next year. Yeah.

Well, you know what? Deshawn has to play well for them to actually gain momentum. And I don't know if he has that in him. I really don't. So that's going to be an interesting one. Here's an interesting one. The Chargers and the guys on that team who need catches and yards for incentives, D'Andre Carter needs two more receptions for $250,000.

Gerald Everett gets quarter mill for 60 catches. He's at 55. So interesting. Look up his prop this weekend. I wonder what he's sitting at. And Denver gives up the third most catches, tight ends. But the point is here, they're going to sit through the 1 p.ms. And if the Ravens lose in the 1 p.m. slot, they'll probably rest everybody, a la la the line.

Also, it's going to be really interesting during the 1 p.m.'s to try to figure out when since he's in the clear, if they're in the clear, and when to go bet Denver, right? But the chargers who need touches and yards, or touches in this case, are at the mercy of Chase Daniel. Right. But DeAndre Carter might be wide receiver number one. He might be. Right, exactly. Oh, Gerald Hevert is not going to want to rest. Cowboy, can Denver beat Chase Daniel, I asked respectfully?

You know, again, I would have answered that really confidently at the beginning of the season for obvious reasons. But no, I don't think so. I had Denver before the year. I kept this piece of paper. Yeah. I had Denver before the year. A spreadsheet of your own work? Yeah, all the highlights are wins.

Oh, yeah, yeah, I remember that. I had Denver at 11 and 6, which is not going to happen. I didn't do so bad. No. A couple misses. My favorite. Can we revisit the picks for conference and walk? I wouldn't do that.

Yeah. No, we'll do it while we talk about grievances. I want to do a quick grievance. The headline after Nate Hackett got fired on ESPN said, Daniel Hackett fired after Broncos' four and 12 start start you're ridiculous we're 16 games in yeah that's true I'm sorry read that's okay I really am sorry

dude next time yeah how would the chargers handle practice this week would they still give hey that's what I was gonna ask C long go ahead if you're her if you're Herbie yeah generally we call Kirk Herbie here's yeah herbo turbo turbo they did How are you, you're, let's say, you're Saturday night. I mean, do you have to get locked in? Do you follow the saying you've got to act like your plan?

And then it's a big letdown if you're not. No, I think you're, I think you go about your business like you're going to play a football game. And if you get pulled, he's a quarterback, right? To Kingston's better question, is he getting all the, all the, all the, all the snaps? No, I don't think so. It doesn't. It doesn't. It kind of.

of, I think you got to give Chase Daniel some work, right? So it doesn't look like dog shit out there. But you got to go about your week like it's normal, man. You know, like you might have to try to win a football game. And they can get the- Dirty face on that case. They can get the ball out. You know, like there's ways to protect a quarterback, right?

You know, you can go to a quick game. You can hand the ball off a bunch. A position player is the guy who's thinking out there because, you know, like for us, It doesn't matter what the intensity of the game is. Like, there's no way to get around it. Full speed. People are falling at your legs and freak injuries happen.

And the worst, man, is at the end of the year, especially while I was never in a situation where I was in St. Louis where we were getting ready for the playoffs. But when you're getting ready to go home, think you're home free and you get hurt like week 17, that happened to me, tackling Marchion Lynch. I have a plate in my hand over it. Fucking totally ruined my offseason. You know, all of a sudden I was going all these places. and now I'm going to be in Earth City, Missouri, rehabbing my hand.

Picking up marbles off the fucking ground. It's five degrees outside. You know what I mean? Yeah. So it's scary going into that last. The Rams might be motivated. You tell me, okay? Rams players love Jared Gough.

I think he's a great guy, right? They're going to play the Seahawks, right? And if they beat the Seahawks, the Lions might get in. If they lose the Seahawks, the Lions don't get in. Rams players probably, if you polled them, want Jared Gough to go to the playoffs. You know who doesn't love Jerry golf? Shaw McVeigh. That was not a very great relationship towards the end there.

And I kind of wonder how petty Shaw McVeigh is, especially considering, I mean, it's an interesting conversation because if the Rams win, they make the Lions pick worse. You know, they move back a pick or two, which could be the difference in the Lions selecting a quarterback or not. So the Rams could help Jared Goff get in the playoffs, but the Rams could also effectively

make it harder to replace him with the guy they might want. I mean, it's a little bit like galaxy brain shit, but it is interesting to think about all the the butterfly effect of this, the Ashton Coucher factor. And the Rams, if they win that game, Bobby Wagner.

Bobby Wagner. Homecoming. He does not like the Seahawks. I fell in love with Rams catching a touch. by then to last night. McVey wants to prove that he can make Baker something that nobody else has been able to.

Eagles D-Line. The 84 Bears had 72 sacks. The Eagles have 67. So that means they need six sacks. How do you define D-Line these days? Is that a little... Their front. They're front. You know, people who are walked up on the line

rushing the passer. It's actually just total sacks. Total sex. Yeah, no, but that's what I mean. The guys rushed in the past. I mean, sure. fucking, you know, James Bradbury could come on a corner blitz, but the guys up front, they've done a great

job this year. Now, granted, I brought this up for two reasons, number one, to put it on your radar, but number two, it's crazy to me with the extra game with the increase in passing numbers and the probability that you're going to rush the passer,

that the Bears in 1984 had 72 sacks. Like, it is just, That record is insane to me. And the type of defense they ran, people just couldn't block it. The other flips up. And these aren't the 85 bears? 84.

It was 84. Wow. So, like, interestingly, when you compare pass rushing over generations, it's like less throwing in the 80s, worse linemen, and deeper drop targets, probably longer, longer shot clocks to get to the quarterback. But now, way more passing, more quick game. and more athletic quarterbacks, better blockers. But ultimately, it just makes it even more insane to look back at the Bears and see they had 72 sacks in an era like that.

Guess how many of the 85 team had? 66. 64. Really good guess. Thank you. Wasn't a guess. I know. Wasn't a guess.

You got it wrong. Oh, I got one more. Yeah. I got one more. I got one more. Josh Dobbs. Josh Dobbs. Holy shit.

I mean, guys had a journeyman career. and bro, I know you think Thursday Night Time Machine was all perfect because you've hit the score it didn't look that great. Like it just didn't look for it. What him? Yeah, I know, but he's got an opportunity.

And there was no Derek Henry. This is motivation, man. This isn't like, you know, like the likelihood that he leads to Titans in the playoffs. He's just probably thinking, man, this is the biggest week of my life. Like, this is all you, you dream about this stuff. You know, when you become a backup quarterback,

like you don't think you're ever going to play in a game with this meaning and of this magnitude. I think it's just crazy to think that Josh Dobbs got dropped into this thing, and he's probably thinking it's the biggest week of my life. Say where, you're right. He did get that game ball for his first NFL regular season. I want to give him a game ball. In the locker room. What's the deal of game balls?

How many game balls are there? How many game balls are giving out a game? Just a couple. It depends on the team. Like some teams just give out a game ball on offense. game on defense but it's um special teams yeah it's it's cool to get one matthew slater has like 200 a bunch of them yeah they paint them up you know they say the score what you did in the game on it's cool yeah it's cool think do you think jared stidham's

motivated at all coming out yeah he's motivated 17 he's trying to earn uh yeah but i got keep me around i got bad news yeah jared sit um ain't that good he had a good game it's not that good okay See, that's what I thought. Chiefs are playing for the one seed. I think the Chiefs finally go out there and look like the Chiefs again head into the playoffs. Jared Stidham also got plenty of help from Devante Adams. Hell, he did. He was making some amazing.

But he made some nice throws, too, being honest. Yeah, yeah, yeah. How about it? Yeah, good game. Doesn't mean they're going to be, he's going to be good. How a good game. How a good game. How about Aaron Rogers?

He was a punchline when they were two and six. Yeah, no, he's big time motivated. He, uh, listen, this is, um, I thought earlier this year they were playing possum a little bit. It's hard to get the September and October version of the Packers out of my head. But if you looked at this team on paper, you'd be like, damn, they're pretty good. So if they slide in, San Francisco is not going to be real excited about hosting them, even though they beat them last year at Lambo.

3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12th team in Team DVOA, the Green Bay Packers. They're fucking good, dude. And, you know, that's why earlier this season when people would ask, like, who do you trust more getting back into form the Bucks or the Packers? Like the Bucks? I mean, that's a rich eyes in question. Yep. And it was the Packers for me because, you know, you have problems you could fix.

They felt schematic. There were health problems with Aaron Rogers. You know, the weapons thing is one thing in September and October, but then Christian Watson makes that big leap. You get Romeo Dobbs back. You know, Aaron Jones is steady. You get Bactiari back. Like, these are big pieces that they're, that they're gaining.

Kickers. Oh, oh, yeah, kickers are going to screw up a lot. Kickers are screwing up a lot generally. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Nobody addressed it. Yeah, people talk about it. Well, no, I mean, no team addressed it. All right.

Like, there's some kickers missing kick. Well, I shouldn't say that. Maybe people had some open trials. It's the one position I would say, like, hey, if you played fucking soccer in college, come on down to Nissan Stadium and we'll watch you kick. You could crowdsource a kicker. We're like Burrhalter's got nothing to do.

Yeah, no, he doesn't. Just pretend you're at a social in 1987. Okay, so... How about Clayers Campbell? He needs one sack to get 100. He didn't play last week. He's questionable this week, but he said he would love to play if he's able to.

That's my dog. Also, he'll get another 500,000 if he goes off for two and a half. Good for him. Love seeing him thrive. The Eagles offensive line, they're going to get a shot at Cave Hunt, Tivodeau. They love Nick Foles. Maybe. I'm not saying they're going to do anything dirty, but they're going to be blocking his ass as hard as they can.

They want that number. Yeah, well, they might rest them. They might. How many dudes do you think have gotten to 100 sex? Oh, high. It's a lot. I think it's like 40. I think it is 40.

Yeah. Looks like 40. Yeah. Wiki is to be believed. I can tell you how many sacks a guy has, I think. You know? I think I'm pretty good, like, on that. Okay.

Jason Taylor? Um, 120. 139.5. Okay, fuck. Yeah. Um, okay. Aaron Donald, he's an active player. He's at like 100.

103? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Okay, okay. Reggie White. Reggie White's got like 180. 198.

Yeah. Crazy. He's 200, yeah. Bruce Smith. He's 2.10 or something. 200. Only guy with 200 leader all time. See, I'm not that good.

Well, pretty good. Pretty close. Yeah. Give her take. Give me a rando. Like, uh... Vernon Goldston. Vernon Goel. No.

Like three. Elvis Dumerville. Oh, Dummerville had like, about 90. or was it like 105. Under the radar. Yeah. Louisville guy. I'm not dragging 105.

I'm not dragging Vernon Goldston. I know he's been brought up a couple times in this podcast. I remember though he had a suit on for our visit. Me and Vernon were teammates for a second. Yeah. In St. Louis. A lot of people pop through St. Louis while I was there. A lot of people.

It's like St. Louis was like purgatory where you're like, is this hell? No, they just, retirement's coming soon. According to pro football reference, there's an unofficial sack list and then an official sack list. Well, the unofficial sack list is all guys

that sack the quarterback way back in the day before they had sacks. Your dad's rookie season was the lap was not official. He ended with like 83 sacks. He would have had 88. So yeah. Patrick Kearney. Oh, he has over 80.

He has over 80. is like 87 or 85. 82.5. 1.5. 1 and a half short of Howie Longing 4. Carlos Dunlap. Dunlap's up around 90 right now. 100.

100 on the nose. Yeah, okay. Dunlap and Robert Quinn went the same high school. Can you imagine getting off the bus and seeing Carlos Dunlap and Robert Quinn? The best, yeah, you're leaving math class and you have to go, you know, get on the bus to play the football game and people you're playing.

Maybe you get a word problem. Yeah. Marcelus Wiley. Marcellus Wiley, he's got like 45 or something. 44, yeah. Who has more sacks in between these two teammates? T.J. Watt or Cam Hayward? Cam, I think Cam by just a few.

T.J. Watt by a half sack. Okay, all right. 77. Yeah, 77, yeah. Chris Long. 70. 70. 70.

You know, sometimes I regret not sticking around to try to beat out the old man, you know, just collect checks for a couple years. Well, here's what you did. And then everybody was like, you weren't your dad. I was like, well, numbers. Since you guys are old numbers, guys. Well, you know what you got. They'd still be right.

Uh-huh. Super Bowls. Super Bowls. I love that. Yeah. I love that. What an individual honor. Two to one, right?

They include Kyle, two to one to zero. Yeah. Mm-hmm. You know, you're tied with Brainy Graham. BG, BG, he's at 70? Yep. Yeah. Yeah.

There's another guy. I was real excited because I was a big fan of Justin. and he had like 68 or something and in my mind I was like if I can retire with maybe more sacks than Justin Tuck I feel pretty good 66 is a half because I love that motherfucker he was like one of my favorite players

Jason Babbin's in that range with me you and Peter Bullware forever at 7th Peter Bullware yeah he was a fucking beast dude now the problem 10 years from now they're going to be 20 regular season games I know and all these records and the offensive linemen are like all jakes

out there are you guys are you guys interested in any of these records that might be broken this week? Yeah, sure. Yeah, but here's the thing about the records now. I think they should go More sacks than jumpy getters. Yeah, well, good for me. So

yeah, who's the guy below me that you were like, I thought he was better than you? Okay. You know, sacks aren't a great stat like that. They're not. They're not, because there's a lot of context around you. You know, ahead of forever you'll be Michael Ben. Bennett. Michael Bennett, yeah, me and Michael Bennett used to talk about, you know, I'm going to beat you.

But he's a really high voice. He's like, I'm going to beat you. And then he'd make me drive him home from work every fucking day. We ran out of gas and thought we'd have to push the car. Okay, so the thing about the records is I think from now on they should go, like if you're doing sacks, sacks a game. if you're doing, you know, receiving yards, receiving yards a game. I know it's not as sexy,

and it's more like granular, but I think that's where they should go. If they really want to compare, you know, like, for instance, I think it was last year. You got 13 more than Richard Seymour. Well, Seymour was an interior guy. Oh, hey, man, no shit.

You got 12-1 Cortez Kennedy. The interior guy. Yeah. But me and Cortez share a record. The most sacks on like a one-win or two-te. two-win team. Nice. We both had 13, I think.

You would think y'all would have affected games more. Yeah, right, you would. Another reason, Sacks don't really matter. Okay, so I think they should go per game. What do you think about that? I think that's the only way to. Yeah. So you wouldn't care if Pat Mahomes this week breaks the all-time season passing record

if he gets 430 yards? I would care. I'd be like, it's an amazing year. It's another reason why he's an MVP, you know, like, but you can't take that record away from, who is it? Peyton Manning. You can't take that record away from Peyton Manning. Or you're going to have to have...

Not unless you break it by like a ton. 14 game season, 16 games season record, 17 games season record. Yeah, and that's why you go per game. Because we're probably not going to... T.J. Watt last year was chasing Strayhan, I think. And the reason I said it would have been legitimate was because he played less games in actuality because of... injury. So yeah, that's how I feel about these. But who's...

I got one record that isn't based on the number of games that I think is pretty cool. So there's a rookie punter Ryan Stonehouse. Oh my God, this is all fucking how Michaels could talk about Thursday night. He's averaging 53 yards per kick. The all-time record is 51.4 per punt by Sammy Baugh in 1940. Yeah, that's great. All the all the net kicks were 30 yards because he just boomed him into the end zone because he knew about his record. This cat's Stonehouse Yeah but think about it now with directional kicking and all this shit

You're not just trying to boom it I don't know if Sammy Ball was like Stonehouse booms it into the back of the end zone Okay lately because he's trying to chase the record But he's trying to help you your ass out 2713 Yeah I'll Michael's saying meanwhile every other word It's good that Thursday night is done

Because Al cannot stop saying meanwhile Yeah well he wasn't that into it this year You've been saying alright a lot recently All right all right I think that's been a forever on the Greenlight show and Nick Sabin. All right, exactly.

Yeah, yeah. It's a bit. So yeah, you got a few here. Meanwhile, that, I do like a record like that. But the cat, and maybe I was just a little emotional

on Thursday night, I don't think he's worried about the net too much. His net's not setting any records. Can tell you that much. So Jalen Hertz, if he plays and scores two, uh, two touch.

touchdowns, rushing touchdowns. He breaks Cam Newton's 2011 record. He hasn't played in his many games. Far fewer games. So that would count. Unless Cam missed games in 2011. Yeah, so that's where I sit on the records. It's pretty crazy that Brady is still breaking season-long records. Like completions in a season, the record is 485. Right. Set by Brady in 2021. And he's going to break it. He's got 477. It was crazy. Well, they played so much damn two-minute. On whatever team he broke that record on, probably, they didn't trail as much of the Bucks did.

Oh, it was last year. Oh, it was? Yeah, well, there you go. And he'll probably set the record for pass attempts as well over Matt Stafford from 2012. Stafford has a surprising number of season-long records, actually. They were down a lot. His body feels it.

Okay, how do we do on the preseason? So in the AFC You were We were almost identical You guys went Buffalo, Indie Baltimore And L.A. Chargers

As your division winners So Damn You have a shot at going two and two Yeah, that's fine But you know Buffalo what? Baltimore

Baltimore Baltimore You said Baltimore You said You want another recount Buffalo Indianaapolis Baltimore

and L.A. charges. That checks out. Identical. I had Baltimore at 11 and Centsia at 10. Right now it's Cincinnati at 11. Who do we have for wild cards? Wild cards. Makin went Kansas City, Cincinnati, Denver. All playoff teams, but one?

Chris went Kansas City, Cincinnati, Las Vegas Raiders. Okay. All right. So pretty equal there. And I avoided the Broncos trap. Yeah, you did. NFC. Makin, Eagles, L.A. Rams, Minnesota Vikings.

and Tampa Bay, which I do want to mention Macon did say Tampa Bay is going to go two and two in the first month. Yeah. You've always had my back on that cowboy, and I appreciate that. That's right. I nailed that one. You said the Vikings in there? You said the Vikings were going to go 13

and 4, the Packers 10 and 7. That cat who worked for the Bulls, beating Jordan in the game with the quarters. You know what I believe I said? Vikings are going to go 13. I think I said that the, well, I think I said that the Packers would be the better team come playoffs. You did. You said the Eagles, Packers, the Vikings will challenge, but the Packers will be better.

And that's essentially what's happening here. Yeah, four games short, but yeah. And then you said the Niners and the Saints. Well, the Saints, we can't take that one back, can we? But I did predict that there be a, you know, put my money where my mouth was on the Bucks, not being a. A 12-win team. That's why I thought the Saints could win. And let me guess you up there, player.

You were talking about the Niners before anybody else. All year. All year. Yep. Wild card in the NFC, Chris, Minnesota, Tampa Bay, L.A. Rams. Making Dallas Cowboys, San Francisco, Green Bay Packers. Look at you. I could have gotten the NFC, huh? Oh.

All over. You guys were also all over Coach of the Year, which we've been over. But Kevin O'Connell for Macon. Yeah. I think it's for sure, well, maybe not for sure. My vote today would go to Brian Dable. Kevin O'Connell looks like a good pick on paper because of 12 and 4, but that minus 19 point differential is...

That's right. I would give it to Doug. Doug? Yeah. Well, he got to get in the playoffs, right? Yeah, they got to win this week, yeah. Yeah. But, I mean, coming off, like, number one pick,

like, they were the worst team in the league last year. Yeah. You guys close on offensive rookie of the year, making you a George Pickens? Love that guy. Chris Damien Pierce. Really good player. Defensive.

Making Aden Hutchinson, he could be there. He's coming on. I think it's going to be a runaway with the DVs. Boss. Chris said Quay Walker, solid player. And Steve. Oh, we don't have to do this part. Steve said Nikobe Dean, who I don't think he saw the field to week 12 or week 14 or so.

What a fucking idiot. He blew, he played spectator. attacker, Lully. He led the team of Tackles that... A lot of people are buying stock in the Kobe Dean. His first appearance. Hey, are these updated?

Does this sound right? It's admin time. Odds for offensive rookie of the year. Kenneth Walker still? No, Garrett Wilson is now the favorite. Hey, I see Walker Wilson Purdy. I got something on the... Walker Wilson Purdy picket. The defensive rookie of the year here.

I think the odds reflect that it's probably sauce Gardner he's going to get the market bump but Tarreek Woolen Yep Passer rating allowed Tarik Woolen 53 Sauce 63 Yards per coverage snap Tarreek 0.8

Sauce 0.8 hawk rate I don't even know what the fuck rate is Ball hawk around the ball Yeah but it's a Tarek's ahead of sauce INT's Tarek 6 sauce 2 passes defense sauce 16 1st

Tarique 14 tied for third defensive touchdowns woolen one sauce zero touchdowns allowed as nearest defender Tarreek 3

sauce 2 target rate Tarreek 12% sauce 15% so and the amount of penalties that would have been called

if there were good officials on the field sauce way up there, really high, with penalties not called. Tarreek probably really low. That's a good stat. I think so.

It's also such a narrative-driven award that like if the Seahawks can do something really nice in week 18 and maybe make the playoffs, especially if Willan makes a play, you might have a chance on it. Or if we called him a mod, could be Tariq's award. It could be Aiden's award. All right. Hold on a second. Their player. Real fast Super Bowl.

Super Bowl picks. Oh, yeah, yeah. We got Super Bowl picks. Your is looking great. It is. Macon said Vikings 27 Chargers 20. All right. Not going to happen, but they're both going to be in the dance.

Yeah, they'll be in the dance. We had Chris, Bill's 31 49ers 27. Yeah, but it wasn't like that wasn't a hot take. I mean, San Francisco was a little bit of a hot take, but I wasn't a wrong. Trey Lance, we didn't know what that was going to be. Yeah, I thought that Jimmy G would probably come in week two. You did. You were all over every single.

49er. Yeah, I mean, I did say, like, listen, I think they should bring Jimmy G back. I also think that Trey Lance, if he's not playing well, your window's too wide open to stick with it. I had Nick Bosa there at DPOI. And he should win it. See that? I had fucking, I don't know what I say. Hey, give us Steve Stanford Steve Super Bowl.

Danforth Steve in the Super Bowl. He says, listen. Baltimore Ravens 27, New Orleans Saints 21. When did the Ravens score 27 points? And when is Dennis Allen getting the team to play on? What was he thinking? James?

He wasn't, but he does have a three-point lead in our in our locks. He does. That's been rebranded as guesses. Guesses. Guesses. Admen.

If you're here in Arizona, Colorado, Indiana, Louisiana, Michigan, New Jersey, New York, Tennessee, or right here in Virginia, And you haven't tried the WinBet app yet. I have great news for you. Sign up today to receive this special offer. New users can take advantage of WinBets.

Bet $25, get $50 in free bets. WinBet is basically giving you free money. Don't turn that down. Don't pass that up. Download the WinBet app today. Terms and conditions apply must be 21 or older and present in a state where WinBet is available. Gambling problem in Arizona, call 1,800 Next Step.

in Colorado, Indiana, New Jersey, and Virginia, call 1-800 Gambler, and in Michigan, 1-800-7-1-17. Tennessee, y'all 2, 1-8009-9-9-7-8-9. Okay, it's admin time. You want to go first? I don't think that would be very wise. Matt, I don't want to lead off on my own show. That one's probably not kosher.

I'll try this one. All right. A father is watching his son's basketball game incensed at the lack of playing time his son is receiving. He stares angrily at the coach as his son remains on the bench. Hard cut. Plain time private investigators. Is your child being benched unfairly?

Our investigation can give you the leverage you need. Our investigators have forced resignations across the country. So. I'll just give them enough time to breathe for the punchline. But not as topical as shit. It is topical. That's, uh, that's, that's, uh, Claudio Raina joke. Yep, that's good.

Yeah, that's good. You could have incorporated Claudio. I just thought I'd lower the bar for you. I'm Claudio Raina. There it is. Yeah, with, with, you know, whatever the fuck he said. Private Dicks. It's not a finished product.

It's a workshop. Thank you for going first. What? Workshop. I've written four words down here for four different heads. A man throws an empty malt liquor bottle. Sometimes I read these. Yeah, I think I'll read this one.

How's that iPad going? Great. That's Patrick. Is that one? I got a new iPad. Yeah. Total iPad guy, I know. Yeah, and you got it with the little keyboard. Oh, it's amazing.

I don't know how they do it, but it's like a magnet, and then it just stays there. Yeah, probably magnets. It's cool. A man throws empty malt liquor bottles at a passing train. He stumbles down the street and into a cardboard box and drifts off to sleep. He awakens to the owner of the box, telling him to get the fuck out of here. He has nowhere to go. The sun comes up as he sleeps on the park bench.

The light illuminates his tired, dirty face. It is homeless, broke, Zach Wilson. Hard cut, Bougar McFarlane's accountability school. You know, too rich. That's good. That's good. That's good. That's good.

No problem. That's good. That's good. That's good. All right. So the scene is New York Giants' front office. The marketing team's in. Yeah.

They're seeing what's happening down in D.C., you know, a lot of momentum. Well, we don't have a mascot. We're the New York Giants. What's a giant? All right. Talking, you know, people in huddles, break off. Well, break off meetings. People in huddles.

Hush conversations. They're talking. They're coming up with ideas, all right? They break out of the breakout meetings. They all come around the big, long fucking table. It's a conference table in the conference room, all right? They say, hey, Mr. Mara, you want something giant? They got major tutty. We got major titty. Bouse with me, bouse with me. Bows with me. Bows with me. It's a big boom. The giant, the giant, the giant, the giant, the giant, the giant, giant, the New York giant naturals.

That's good. That's good. Pass. You know, because there's no mascot. Yeah, no, yeah. Hey, and to my uncle out there who listens to this and then tells my dad, can you stop? Yeah, stop. I'd appreciate that.

I'd talk about giant tithies. Hey, all right, okay, all right. What kind of toilet paper brands you all use? Brawny? Brawny. Frank. Charmin. It's a paper towel.

Cowboy. Charmin, he's wiping his ass with paper towels. God damn, how do you do that? I'm a bidet guy, remember? I'm just, I can't remember. He doesn't wipe. Right, right, right. You know, it all runs together with, I don't use paper towels or toilet paper.

I just, you know, same aisle. That's, I haven't been on that aisle in a while. Which is all I remember from that. You guys have never run out of time in my life. Toilet paper and use paper towel. Oh, for sure. Yeah. Yeah, but like no one wants to do that with on the rag.

No, no, no. Charmin, you got a brand? Pulling hairs out of your. Um, you know what I mean? I believe it's a bounty. Bounty. Bounty. Charmin.

For fuck sake. Charmin. All right. Turns out I have a clean ass. I'm a quilted northern guy myself. I'll throw in a cottonell for variety. You know these wet-white people disgust me. Oh, my gosh.

Don't flush those bad boys. You got to throw them away. I'm okay with a wet wipe at the end of the process. If you want to wipe with toilet paper two, three, four times and then finish up with a wet wipe, cool, but you got to throw it away. You can't flush it. Wet wipe also doesn't give you a, there's no barrier between your hand and the butt. You know what I mean?

the wet wipe no well it's not much of barrier is it toilet paper you can kind of ball it up true true which brings me to my next dad okay you got you got your one ply out there yeah at your hotel your bus stations uh you got your uh two ply you got your three ply you know um all right new toilet paper company it's called multi ply multiply multiply multiply It's a luxury toilet paper brand And it's called multiply Multiply Mm-hmm

Line There's no punch line That idea is ass That's good Cheeks, huh? That's good Okay, maybe not fully formed Yeah

But next time we're standing around this sitting around this table I ask you what toilet paper brand you is going to be easy I use multiple Yeah, yeah, that's easy. Yeah. Pass. Yeah, but you want to, why do you keep saying pass after mine? Pass, like pass, pass, fail.

Oh, pass. Yeah, like I'm the ad agency. I thought you were passing on the... No, yeah, well, you're right. It's confusing. Yeah. So not like pass-fail. Well, no, these are passes.

They're, yeah, like, yeah, they pass the test. Yeah, major titty. Yeah, major titty. That's really your joke from last show. Yes. okay can you read this one for me

this is where I really shine I don't know if this is any good a man tumbles through the sky attempting to untangle his parachute the ground approaches as he pulls the cord the shoot to pull his moments before he slams into the ground the man rise in pain as he notices his femur

protruding from his right leg he screams for help and looks to his right NFL defensive end Kvon Tibido lays beside him doing snow angels call for help the man exclaims. Tibido doesn't answer. Cut to a man swimming in Australia.

A great white shark bites his letting off, and he washes up on shore, bleeding out. Kvon, Tibido plays air guitar with one of his severed legs. Call an ambulance, mate? He wrote M8. That's how they say it. Call an ambulance, Mike.

Tidavito keeps playing air guitar with one of his severed legs. A farmer throws a big tree into a wood chipper. His arm gets caught and the chipper begins pulling him in. The man screams for help. Kvon Tibido hears the commotion and jogs over, proceeding to gritty around the wood chipper as the man gets sucked in. Lawrence Taylor pulls into the giant's facility.

He walks through the revolving door and it catches his t-shirt. He begins to panic as he's pinned between the door and the wall. The pressure increases and he screams for help. The situation is dire. Kavon Tibido walks by. Who the fuck is he? Hard cut. EMS, don't call Kvon Tibodeau.

Call EMS. That's really good. Call Apple Watch. Whatever you want. That's good. Thanks. That's really good. Good job.

You're going to like the other ones. Good job. I am? Yeah. I got a Mac Jones one that's going to be tickled. Cowboy, why don't you go? Yeah. Do you need caffeine?

Hi. I'm Dan Campbell for caffeine. Any kind of caffeine. I can show you a caffeine. I love caffeine. What commitment, cowboy. That's good stuff. Very good.

Not only the writing, but also the acting. Yeah. Dan Campbell for caffeine. Any kind. Just big caffeine. That's what he'll do. Dan Campbell for Copenhagen. That's awesome.

All right. All right. Okay. All right. The scene is World War I. The first. World War. Is that the Great War?

Yes. Yes. Obviously. He pointed to Matt. History teacher. The line. History teacher. And there are

lieutenants and shit, right? Yeah. They're colonels, their brigades. You know, you know all this sort of stuff, Matt. They're private first classes and their provisional tank brigades. And, uh, no, their rear command posts. you wouldn't believe how much googling a wartime terminology do have you thought about scripting

this before they're they're tank battalion i got two kids they're tank battalions all right it's just everywhere you can look it's it's war well here comes general george s patent he was born in san gabriel california november 11 1885 you might know him as bandito or old blood and guts. Well, here comes General George S. Patton. And he says, this World War ain't no problem. All right?

We got this covered. Okay? Hard cut. Broncos General Manager, George Patton. Slides contract cross the desk, says Russell Wilson. Ten years, $500 million. Broncos General Manager, George Patton

says, oh, fuck. I ain't got nothing for you here. We stuck. What? Guys are both named George Patton. Yeah, I got it. One a general in the Great War. The other, the Broncos general manager, who doesn't have a plan.

Yeah, no. He's stuck. Yeah, he's stuck. He's pinned down. Wasn't Patton the General in World War II? It sounds right. God damn it. You know, that might be right.

Let me start over. World War II their colonels and lieutenants their rear tank brigade battalions all right general George S. Pat

you're gonna do the whole ad you might know yeah I might know him as bandito or old blood and guts it's the second world war their great war as they call he looks around he says hey ain't no problem

we got this like oh tough situation I'll get us out Oh, we're saddled with a bad contract. No problem. I got it handled. I'm George Patton. Old blood and guts.

Hard cut. Denver Broncos GM. George Patton. He slide him a contract over the table. Quarterback Russell Wilson signed up for 13 years and $800 billion. GM George Patton. Oh shit Oh

Oh You're still doing this Adam Well you got me You got me All kerfuffled on the entire Now do the Korean War Do all the wars

1812 How many wars can you name That's pretty good at huh Yeah it's good Yeah I don't have any good ones either Okay read What the fuck have you guys

been doing. I'll tell you, I know what fucking Dom Draper would have done. What's that? It would have fired everybody. All right, hold on. Go ahead. Highlighted.

This is an ad about Tom Brady that I wrote. This is really where I do shine because I can lock into the words. Yep. I don't need, I don't, I just... You're a great reader. Yeah, tunnel vision.

Scene begins as cameras enter a dark Tampa Bay Buccaneers facility. I got the giggle. All right. I'll be right. The voices of NFL analysts can be heard. The 45-year-old Brady is doubtful this weekend as the Bucks prepare for the biggest game of the year. How will this thumb injury affect the Bucs' offense?

Brady receiving treatment around the clock. Cut to Brady, treating his thumb alone in the training room with various modalities. He's making progress. Brady sits at his locker in a towel, peering over his phone. He's feverishly scrolling. He tries to put the phone down, but he can. Ah! he bellows. In obvious pain.

hard cut tender swipe right at all cost yeah nice he's single that's a good honestly that could be a commercial that's good that could be a that could be a stick it to joselle yeah um look i'm getting rich talking about being single jim ursay walks through a cemetery he scans the rows of tombstones deep in thought he kneels down at a particular grave he brushes the dust off of the headstone revealing the name why Tittle. He removes his cell phone from his suit pocket.

Chris, yeah, I think we found our quarterback. Hard cut. Colt season tickets, 2023. Ah, you're good at this. They love old quarterbacks. Yeah, dead. That's better. Yeah.

He called the GM. I was Ballard. Yeah, Ballard. Yeah. That's good. Thank you. That's really good. Yeah. Miami Dolphins facility. Oh, yeah. Mike McDaniel's walking by the lock room.

He does a double take. What the hell is that doing there? Gets on the phone. Hey, I need you guys over here real fast. Get over here. A couple days later, Tyreek Hill is walking by. What the hell it's gone? Gets on the phone.

Hey, you guys, you got to come over here. I need some help. You got to come over here. Two or three more times, Mike McDaniel. But then it's Tua and Tyreek. Mike McDaniel walks back by this Jalen Waddle. Jeff Wilson's there. Jeff Wilson's there.

Everybody's there. Walking by, walking by. Hey, I need you here. It's gone. Oh, hey, here. We got to take it away. Jalen Phillips there. Hard cut.

Two guys carrying a ping pong table into the facility. Two guys in a truck moving company. Oh, by the way, I wouldn't go with those guys. If you care for your landscaping or your hardscaping, I'd go somewhere else. Also, how fucking funny is that the dolphins are removing the ping pong table this week? Yeah. I mean, it's great that we could get all those guys for that ad. Yeah, that was good.

That was good. What's the budget? Yeah, your ads are fucking expensive. All right. Are you ready? New York Giants front office. We're in the conference room. All right. Hard cut.

John Mayer's walking through a cemetery. Brushes off the name of a gravestone. Y.A. Titty. Makes a call into the... Y, a Titty. Makes a call into the... To that phone. You got in the middle of the conference table.

Guys, I got our name. That's Y, Titty. That's good. Okay. This, I'm really proud of this one. I got an assist on that ad. I just want to be clear. Okay.

I got a text. message. If you had help on that. Yeah. It was corporate. Not surprising. It was quality ad. Brian Burns sits peacefully, receiving a pedicure. A woman kneels at his feet. He smiles and closes his eyes. He opens them and screams.

The woman has suddenly begun twisting his ankle violently and won't let go. Her wig falls off. It's Mac Jones. Cut to Jaquan Brisker standing near a sexy young lady sitting on a bed. She motions for him to join her. He smiles and begins undressing. The sound of a busted window interrupts,

and a burglar slides across the hardwood floor, leg extended, and forcefully kicks brisker in the groin. He removes his mask. It's Mac Jones! Cut to elderly Eli Apple at a senior center. He shuffles down the hallway, gripping a walker. Down the hall, a male nurse swings open the door. As he approaches Apple, he barrel rolls into his legs, breaking them both.

The nurse rolls. to his feet, removes his PPE, nice, and stands over Eli. It's Mac Jones! Hardcut. Mac Jones for prison. Yep, that's good. Thanks. Thanks. That's good. Thank you.

That's good. Thank you. That's good. He should go to prison. I have written down here, Athletic Greens. I know I said a little earlier. I just don't know if we're getting enough stuff sent to the office anymore. What's the address of what's the P-O-box? What's that sweatshirt company?

I love Reed, a cowboy, along with Sweat. Along with Roeback. People can send size medium sweat. What I like? Hooded sweatshirts. Hooded sweatshirts. S-W-E-T. Is that what? Yeah. Sweat clothing.

Good news is they can send it to 2150 Wise Street number 5267. That's good. In Charlottesville, Virginia, 22905. Adelaide Green's can go there. Yep. You know? I've been on the AG. Yeah.

First meal of my new year. Wow. Yeah. Nice. Okay. The New England Patriots computer lab, okay? This is going to be a slow pan. Joe Judge sitting there at his computer,

on Monster.com. Pan over to Matt Patricia, sitting there on his computer on Monster.com. Yeah. Slow pan over to Billaichick. He's sitting there on his computer. on Monster.com. Uh-huh.

Uh-huh. Uh, because what the fuck were they doing? And, and those two cats looking for new jobs, Bill looking for an actual offensive coordinator, because that was a fucked-up situation. Yeah. All year long.

Yeah, that's good. Matt Patricia's calling the plays. Topical. Yeah, Mack Jones out there. It's like your player. We do an Indeed ad with, um, Ursay and Saturday. I haven't really connected the dots,

but like, yeah, just any, he'll do. Yeah. Give me a storyline. All the snow in Buffalo. They couldn't get out. Oh, easy.

Giant Darryl Strawberry walks through New York. He walks over the Empire State Building. He walks over the Adirondacks. He heads up towards Toronto and stops in Buffalo. And he does a giant line of cocaine. Hard cut Giant baseball All right

Billy Training room Hey Jalen It's uh It's week 18 And the NFC is somehow Up for grabs Do you think you can go

Man it hurts As soon as you said Jalen I knew a hurts pun was coming Oh, man. Jalen Hertz for standing up for yourself and not rushing back too soon. Nice. Yeah. Do a Justin Fields ad.

Sure. Happily. Chicago Bears training facility. Hey, Justin, it's week 18 and we got a shot at that number one pick. It's Peter, man. That's brilliant. Office space. That's good.

Yeah. That's fucking took me the second. You nailed the voice too. It's Peter, man. Yeah. Justin Fields. Breast exam. Channel 9.

For 90s movies. Justin Fields for, I am, Justin Fields for Netflix. Justin Fields for Prime Video. Yeah. You know,

where you can see office. Uh-huh. That's what I'm saying. Okay, the Broncos, they're playing a game. And Al Michaels is like, Broncos can't get out of the shadow

of their own fucking end zone. Geez, they've been backed up all day. Cut to Russell Wilson's house. Sierra's like toilets clogged. He's like, oh, we'll just use the other one. Hard cut, Kohler.

Get more toilets. Yeah. Never be backed up. That's really good. Thank you. Yeah. Okay. All right.

Okay. That's really good. It's an English class. Yep. Classroom English. They roll in the TV. you know, like they did. It's on that stand.

It's got a strap over top of it. Big old tube TV. They wheel that sucker in. They show a video of an NFL referee saying, after further review, the ruling on the field stands. All right.

So then the English teacher says, hey, you don't need to use extraneous. words. The play was under review. It was not under further review. The play happened and then you reviewed it. It's not further review. That's your standard review.

Hard cut. Fucking grammar and shit, man. You got to be efficient with your words. Grammarly. Grammarly. Hard cut. Grammarly. What's that exactly? It's like telling you that you, your writing could be more concise or your grammar is wrong. Yeah. Is that like a website? Yeah. Kids use it to cheat. Hard cut, spark notes.

Uh-huh. I was thinking of a service that would hire Urban Meyer to do your job before you so that you look amazing. That's good. By like comparison. Really good. That's good. That's all I got. Hard cut monster hard cut zip recruiter. Uh-huh. Yeah. That's really good. Uh, okay. All right. It's the, uh, Mercedes Ben's, uh, George Adol's Peach Bowl. You got George out there and you got Ohio State out there where at midfield before the game for the coin toss. The official says, gentlemen, congratulations on a great season. Ohio State, you're the visitor.

You'll call either the Mercedes-Benz Georgia Dome sponsored by Chick-fil-A erected in 2007. 17 got a dope roof and has hosted many great sporting events and otherwise. Or you can

select the flip side. Chick-fil-A, popular fast food chain where there's nuggets waffle fries and milkshakes and they love Jesus. and they're not open on Sundays.

And, you know, it's fast food done right. Eat more chicken. And the players, hard cut, Snickers, want to get away? Because, God damn it, we can't do a heads or tails anymore. We got to do all these corporate sponsors. We got to do all these corporate sponsors. I mean, it was ridiculous. Telescopic arm.

Hey kids, heads today will be Fucking Mercedes Bins A General Motors Company Brought to you by Chrysler Fucking tortilla chips On one side of the coin Now if you want to call tails That's going to be

Chick-fil-A Presenting sponsor of the Chick-fil-A peach bowl And then you call Then the kid calls Tails And it's like well fuck I forgot which one was with Yeah, right exactly God damn

Which side has the bad boy mower on there You know I thought I called Gasparilla. Yeah. Hey. Fucking heads or tails. Jimbo Fisher walks around the locker room. Get your helmet on, guys.

Getting ready to play. Get your helmet on. Hey, helmets. Helmets. Hey, helmet, motherfucker. And guys are like running out the door and he's like, go get your helmet. A voice can be heard over his shoulder.

I'll take this from here, Jimbo. Hard cut. Bobby Petrino is back. Yeah. He knows about helmets. Yeah, that's good. Fool me twice? Yeah.

Great setup. Thank you. Yeah. Yeah. Thank you. By the way, that had to have come from on high. Hey, Jimbo. We'll buy you out $80 million.

No problem. Somebody else is going to be calling the place. You know Jimbo's not happy with that situation. Not at all. No. Hard cut. Jimbo sat. You good.

We all out of ads. Kung food tea. It's shit. Okay. Everybody take care. Y'all take care. Hey! Oh, cow, are we still rolling?

Everybody out there take care, especially Howie Long. Happy birthday, big fella. You motherfucker, what day is it right now? Woo-hoo! Oh, no. It's tomorrow. It's actual birthday.

God damn it. You're going to fucking cuck me on this. You can do your dad. That's all good. Happy birthday, Dad. Why do you have Stanford Steve's birthday on your calendar and not your dad? I don't have a cat. I didn't set that.

I think it was all employees. Yeah, but January 6th, 196, the world became a better place. I imagine my dad emerged from a ball of lightning like Arnold Schwarzenegger in Terminator 2. That's how I imagine baby Howley Long showed up on planet Earth. He was, he's just such a force of nature, man. I'm glad he's here. Love you, Dad. I am too. Howard Matthew Moses Long. Yep. Yep. So, happy birthday, Howie Long. Happy birthday, Big Howell. Love you, man. Whoa. It's a simultaneous love you.