Green Light with Chris Long - PFT Commenter! Dan Quinn in Washington, Stories from the Super Bowl in Vegas & Worst Ways to Die

Episode Date: February 20, 2024

Chris, Macon, Bad Back Badke and PFT coming at you from Studio J. We start today's episode with Chris recapping his weekend and the Dark Side of the Moon / Wizard of Oz combo move that he consumed on Sunday. We then welcome PFT Commenter to tell a few stories of being in Las Vegas during the Super Bowl, his excitement for the Dan Quinn era to begin in Washington and determine the worst ways to die! (00:00) - Kenny Chesney's New Song and Trump shoes (9:06) - Dark Side of Dorothy: Chris watched the Wizard of Oz set to the Dark Side of the Moon soundtrack (28:15) - Cold tub therapy (31:45) - Zyn Ad Men (35:13) - PFT Commenter on the future of the Washington Commanders with Dan Quinn at the helm, new potential stadium, stories from the Super Bowl in Las Vegas, how to fix the NBA All Star game and worst ways to die Want your Green Light Merch so you can look exactly like Chris and the fellas? Hit the website below and get kitted! https://stores.kotisdesign.com/yotehouse/products Have some interesting takes, some codebreaks or just want to talk to the Green Light Crew? We want to hear from you. Call into the Green Light Hotline and give us your hottest takes, your biggest gripes and general thoughts. Day and night, this hotline is open. Green Light Hotline: ‪[phone]‬ Make sure to check out Fax and the King every Wednesday on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@FaxAndTheKing Send any Talent Search submissions to: [e-mail] Include any video of your talents, takes and bits as well as a little bit about yourself. Love hearing from the Green Light fans. Also, check out our paddling partners at Appomattox River Company to get your canoes, kayaks and paddleboards so you're set to hit the river this summer. https://paddleva.com/ Green Light Spotify Music: https://open.spotify.com/user/951jyryv2nu6l4iqz9p81him9?si=17c560d10ff04a9b Spotify Layup Line: https://open.spotify.com/playlist/1olmCMKGMEyWwOKaT1Aah3?si=675d445ddb824c42 Green Light Tube YouTube Channel: https://www.youtube.com/c/GreenLightTube1 Green Light with Chris Long: Subscribe and enjoy weekly content including podcasts, documentaries, live chats, celebrity interviews and more including hot news items, trending discussions from the NFL, MLB, NHL, NBA, NCAA are just a small part of what we will be sharing with you. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

So he didn't have a butt pad with him because it gets in the way of the snap. And so we have to use a timeout. And our coach is like, we need to get this guy a new butt pad. And then he points at me, he's like, give him your butt pad. And so I had to take my belt off, give her or center my butt pad, and then got benched for the rest of the game. You didn't have a butt pad. I had the most expendable butt pad on the entire team.

Welcome to the Green Light podcast. It's the NFL offseason, and we're hanging with PFT commenter today. Chris making bad back backie all in Studio J. As we get started with a few stories of Chris's weekend, how much fun he had on the farm by himself. He had so much fun, he watched The Dark Side of Dorothy. That is the movie Wizard of Oz with Pink Floyd's Dark Side of the Moon soundtrack playing in the background. Apparently it all lines up.

Chris is going to tell you about it. He's pretty stoked. He also talks about the benefits of cold tub therapy. and pitches a little zen admin. And then we get into PFT. He's going to run through everything from Dan Quinn being hired by the commanders, how excited he is about that, meeting Mark Davis at the Super Bowl and hanging out with the Greenlight crew,

and talking worst ways to die. The worst, the absolute worst ways to go out. It's a blast and a half. Please enjoy, and we will see you on Friday. I wrote a song. All right. Okay. Never had no rhyme.

a reason why it just seemed like the thing to do at the time just to say we did just to feel alive to take a leap of faith to feel that kind of high tonight let's turn it up fall in love wild and catch enough buzz just to ride them crazy horses running through our heads just to say we did what do you think about that cheeks is there any music behind it that's kenny chesney's new song I have fallen into a trap. When I was told about this show, I was told about the dark side of the moon. Just to say we did, is the name of the song.

You want to hear it? It is hot garbage, bro. We need to restart the show. No, we do not. Because I think what I've found in... No, we do not. You want to hear it? It's even worse when you listen to it.

Often... Listen. Hell yeah. Just to say we did. Can we keep that going? Hell yeah! That's what I'm talking about! No, that really is a banger.

I saw that it was released and then... It sounds like every other song. A little bit of life got in the way and I hadn't heard it yet. That is awesome. His songs are starting to sound a little bit of the same. Starting. That's common. I was trying to give you a little...

That's great. Thank you for that. No problem. That was really good. I figured that was Roger Waters or some stuff. I also designed a pair of shoes. You want to see them? Yeah.

Tell them if you like these. Logan, Utah, by the way. Hello! Now, these shoes are kind of bright. What do you think about these shoes? I don't think they're so bad. I really don't think they're so bad. Hot take, they're not that bad.

I just wonder about the whole, you know, cult marketing thing. Like they're not quite a hat. Are we just going to be seeing pictures of everybody's feet for the next eight months? I think this is even worse than the hat because while the shoe isn't like objectively horrible, it's not as bad as I looked up some of the old athlete shoes that they had back in the day. It's not as bad as like the, oh, the God rest of the soul, the Kobe Bryant. The twos.

Yeah, it's a bad shoe. Look like a two. Yeah. I also would say the spinners. spelled spin ah the uh letrell spree wells the da-da's dada had a couple the sea webs were terrible these aren't on that level to be honest and i hate the guy but these shoes aren't as ugly at face value like if the aliens came down and they were like you can put one of these two on your on your feet the da-da's or the trots they'd be like oh these kind of dope they look like space shoes and the

whole thing now the american flag on the on the on the heel that's where that's the that's the that's the that's the That's the canary in the coal mine here. You know, somebody approaching you from the front, they're like, oh, bold choice. You know, are those gold dunks? And then you walk by and they're like, you're like, okay, this guy, this guy's got an assault rifle. So, like, these shoes are not that ugly. But when I see somebody wearing these shoes, I'm going to laugh out loud. Yeah.

This is taking to another level. One thing it was like to wear your identity on your head, like a hat, but now you're wearing the shoes and they're gold with a big tea on them yeah you can wear the smell too they're selling victory 47 cologne for testosterone do you think his hair was the um the the the color palette yeah i would like some other some other color skin it looks like gold member because i listen i obviously hate the guy if you know if you if that's a about you know if that's a a barrier to entry to this podcast you'd have been gone a long time ago so we know we know that and some of you might like the guy i fucking hate the guy i'll be as

honest as i can the shoes are not that ugly but i still wouldn't wear a shoe like now some of the other shoes i'm seeing on the website the gold ones are sold out evidently they sold like 800 of them oh there are different colors like they didn't say it didn't sell like 30 000 they had a limited supply of a thousand with 10 randomly signed by so you know people walking around saying he sold out they sold out it's just like the the crowd at the rally he sold out now go down the rest of them Now, the rest of them are hideous, dude. They are hideous. I got something.

What if we do, can we tie this into the fantasy football loser? Yeah, they got to wear the Trump shoes. That's not bad. That's incredible. They got to wear the Trump shoes. That's good. We got our punishment for next year. Yeah, that is good.

And depending who wins, maybe it's a right of bad. Do we have anybody like that in our group text? Probably. Yeah, probably. the low. Polling would show that roughly half. Half of our group tax.

I don't think so, though. I feel like we're safe. But anyways, whoever you, whatever your political fetish is, I'm not here to shame you. I just think he's a, he's a real douchebag

and the shoes are just okay. Are there any shoes that we all wore, perhaps AI, or Grant Hill Phila's? Not hideous, but that we all just had to have. I was a big AirMax 95 guy. Oh yeah, yeah, yeah.

I love AirMax 95s. I still. I still like the old Air Max 95. They are good. They're good. Now, grown men wearing Jordans, where does that stop? I think I heard somebody asking this question recently, like, out loud. Sorry, Keff.

I wore him last week. I know. But, like, at what point, grown man wearing Jordans? And I'm not talking about, like, a handsome, tall black man who's 50 and looks 40, you know, or 35. I'm talking about Kevin or me or, you know, I think they look good on me. My chiropractor used to wear him all the time. He was 45 years old, Jewish guy. I'm like, dude, I don't know.

What is the clothing with the Jordan? A jumpsuit of some sort, some sweatpants. Baghe is always wearing a jumpsuit. Dan Katz always wearing a jumpsuit. People like this can get away with the Jordans. Backy showed up to watch Godzilla minus one in a zip-up jacket that said Belize on the back. And I think he had Jordans on. Yeah.

Okay. Yeah. What else are supposed to wear a guy? What else could you wear? I don't know whether they're I was comfortable it was nice Okay so that's enough about sneakers Guys can I tell you about my weekend please is the best weekend ever I would take this weekend over Vegas 10 out of 10

Wife alert I'm gonna tell you well no I mean my wife knows that's the reason when my wife was like mid She set it up well midweek when my wife was like hey I'm going up to Baltimore to see my sister and I'm gonna bring the kids and they're gonna see their cousins It wasn't a word going up there And maybe that was some sort of test And guys, you know, we get faced with tests all the time Well, you don't know there's a test on the agenda But I stood strong and I was like I was like, have fun

You know, like, is there anything you need me to do To prepare you to leave with the kids? You know, like And there were a multitude of things But I was happy to do them She knows I need my alone time I'm like deep down And this is what my psychiatrist says too

He's like, you're a loner in somebody's body who has to talk to a lot of people. That's me. Like, you know, I really don't prefer being around a lot of people. My friends, for sure. But, but, like, I actually like time to myself. It's like a regenerating thing for me. If I can get a day alone in my house, that's going to, like, re-up my health. Like, if it was a video game character.

So they're leaving. They leave at 1120 Saturday. The wagon left the homestead. 11.22 a.m. I sat on the porch with my medicine and my dogs, and I hunkered down in the house after that, applied the nicotine, stayed out of the wind, looked at eBay, took a nap, woke up at 3 p.m., gave the dogs extra food so that they would be sedentary. And then at 4.30, I sat by the fire with some boomers until I don't know when. And then I went inside when it got dark. I beat Kyle and Madden for money. and then watch Wizard of Oz synced up with Dark Side of the Moon, which is something I've never done before. Okay, I've never done this before.

I understand that some people are listening to this like, oh, I remember high school too. Fuck you, dude. I was actually playing sports in high school. I was like preparing for my next job. You guys were watching. Now, it's my favorite album of all time. It's a work of art.

And I don't remember watching The Wizard of Oz a lot. So this was like a new experience for me. And I was really skeptical, but we'll get back to that in a little bit. And then Sunday, woke up, fed the dogs, again extra and went back to sleep woke up and built another fire and invited my friends over so bad back backy and tom came over a couple guys come over we're sitting by the fire you know it's like one of those things where i was like guys this dark side of the rainbow thing is incredible at some point tonight we have to watch dark side of the rainbow and there's a lot of pressure when you take five guys up

and sit them in your in your man cave and sink up dark side of the moon with with wizard of odds because you're like, this could be the dumbest thing in the world. And maybe you're not as excited as I was last night watching this for the first time. And you've got to have a little help. Maybe explain for the uninitiated because when we talked Saturday night, you recall this? Yes, absolutely. Okay.

And I said, is it just a timing thing? Because that's math. All that is is math. Right. You can start an album 42 minutes prior to the end of a film and that'll stop up. I'm not saying it's, okay, here's what I'm saying, and here's what it is. It's a 42-minute album. My first question to you, was like, because I wanted to get you to try to watch it.

I feel like this is one of those things where, like, you know, there's things your wife likes to do that you have to pretend that you like to do also. This is one of those things in our relationship where it's like at some point, if you listen to Dark Southern the Moon, I'll be giddy. If you do this, I'll be even happier. So I was trying to plant the seeds with you, and I was like, hey, you need to watch this thing. Are you into Pink Floyd? He's like, not really.

When I hear Pink Floyd, I think Jimmy Hendricks, which just seems like a crock of shit. I swear to God. But actually, after investigating, he really doesn't list the Pink Floyd. But you sink up Dark Side of the Moon, the greatest album of all time, 42 minutes long with the start of Allison Wonderland, that's another thing. Like, I get these all mixed up.

See, that's what I said. So you sync it up at the end of the Metro-Goldwyn lion roar. The third roar, the second roar, as soon as it finishes, you start the album and then you go. And I just want to say this. At first, I was very skeptical. The reason I'd waited 38 years to do this was being skeptical. I was like, there's no way they took the time to do this.

And I'm not saying that taking the time to do this took, like, extraordinary skill. But to me, when I finished watching for the first time, my jaw was on the ground. And I got on Reddit. And a lot of people are like, ah, it doesn't sync up that well, the whole thing. Well, you're not paying close enough attention. You cannot tell me that that's all coincidence, all the things. Matt, have you seen this? I have, yeah.

Not everything sinks up, but enough key moments sync up to me to where I'm like, okay, coincidence is off the table. So these guys, Roger Waters and them have denied this vehemently since the rumor came out. I guess like back in the 80s or the 90s, somebody got stoned or was on acid and they were like, let's try this. Exactly. I think it's the greatest idea in the world, like how they found that needle in in the haystack was incredible to me.

Now those Pink Floyd guys have denied it. Now I understand why they might deny it because it might have been a pack, like a death pack for them. And I love death packs, we love death packs. So I'm fully supportive of that. To deny it is almost like saying the sky's not blue to me after watching it.

And so coincidence is off the table. And now the question for me is, is the most amazing thing in music history just right under our noses? And like a bunch of people have seen it in high school, but we don't really talk about it. about this, the fact that this is synced up at various waypoints with the album. It's insane to me.

Now, I don't know how difficult that was to do to Macon's point because it's 42. People say, well, the album's only 42 minutes. Wizard of Oz is like an hour and a half. It doesn't matter, dude. It doesn't matter. And then Kevin this morning, he broke my heart because all that pressure I was feeling last night looking around the room. Like, are you guys seeing this?

Kevin was sleeping at the end of Wizard of Oz. I wasn't sleeping. Well, it looked like you were sleeping. And then this morning, I mean, we did some stuff. Yeah, like, put it to sleep. And then we. But I was all in. The heart and the tin man that.

Okay. But you walked in this morning and you said, I still don't think. I just think, I think some dude was off his mind, heard the heart and the heart and brought it together. Okay. And the other thing is the, the house with the sky that I get. Okay, but you just named two things that sync up perfectly. I could name like 10. So my question is.

You might have more... You think it's all coincidence. Okay, maybe you didn't catch this, but when Dorothy gets up on the fence is the first time in the movie where I'm like, okay, it's synced up because they're talking about in, I think it's the... Maybe the first or second song of the album, they're talking about balancing on the biggest wave. They're talking about like, you know, like riding the tide through life. And if you bounce on the...

If you chase the biggest wave, you could be headed to an early grave. And Dorothy's up on the fence, like balancing. on the fence when that happens. Okay, so you're like, okay, they're in. And then the witch comes through. And in the song, Time, where all the jingles are going off, it sounds like bicycle spokes, and she rides into... See, I missed all that. See, that's what you're missing. You need to watch it with the subtitles and then also know Dark Side of the Moon really well. Well, yes, and I don't know it as well, but the subtitles and Tom, that wasn't jiving. That wasn't going to happen. Well, yeah, he wasn't, he wasn't able to find the subtitles. But there's a bunch of things with the subtitles.

So you're like, when Great Gig in the Sky comes on, it's literally a tornado. And they're sinking up Dorothy screaming with the vocals on Great Gig in the Sky. And when the sky's falling through the... I always thought Great Gig in the Sky was like five stages of death, like acceptance, all that stuff. And I don't know if I'm sure about that. But like when the singer's kind of in that acceptance period and the house is falling through the sky and it's spinning around and she's seeing like her grandmother and, you know, like maybe her grandfather and whoever else it was in the boat like the the the tone of the vocals match perfectly with kind of like a

bittersweet nostalgia that she's feeling and then the house drops the ground and you know like that oh like her voice matches up with that and then you get into the actual money song where the color comes on it's black and white at the beginning of waz money is synced up perfectly with her walking into wherever the fuck that is like the yellow brick road or whatever and The whole movie is actually about, it's about the economy. It's about like, yeah, so. Populism. Yeah, it's about populism.

Yeah. So when they're in that thing and the munchkins are the people, the wicked witch of the east is supposed to be the bank. Like she's supposed to be like, you know. Emerald City is the greenback dollar. So all the munchkins are the people that are getting crushed by the bank. But when she killed the, the, the witch with the house unintentionally, they're all free from the burden.

And that completely synced up with what was going on. The munchkins were marching to the music, dude. It was insane. I mean, everything down to the fact that when she sat out on the yellow brick road, the line and the song is, out of my way, it's a busy day. I've got things to do. And she's skipping down the road. Down to the scarecrow during brain damage,

when he starts losing his mind and brain damage comes on. And it's about a guy losing his mind. down to the Tin Man with the heartbeat that ends the album. Damn. Bro, when the album ends and you hear the heartbeat, they're tapping on the Tin Man's chest. And at the end of the album, you know, during, in Dark Side of the Moon,

when you hear those voice in the background, there are a lot of, like, tour managers and, like, people that just worked on the tour, drinking, saying things like, you know, I'm not really afraid of dying anytime we'll do all that stuff. But at the end of the album, somebody says, I don't think there is a dark side of the moon.

And Tim Mann says it's empty at the very same time. And I just think the whole thing is synced up. It's impossible to me to call it a coincidence. I feel gas-lit by people that are saying it's not that it is a coincidence, dude. So you're changing my mind a little bit because I got caught up in watching them talk and the words weren't sinking there. The emotions were sinking, though, a lot. See, I think I'm hearing you.

Like the expressions on faces, the movements, the, you know, when a scene would end and somebody would walk down the stairs. Bro. I mean, it was cool. Bro. It was really cool. Black and white. As soon as black is said, the witch shows up in black. And then when she, you know, down and out, she sets, she goes down the stairs and out and off.

She goes. Did you notice this stuff the first time? The first time. Okay. Because I know every word of the album and I know like the themes of the album and I also was watching with subtitles So I'm just saying like for listeners that haven't done this maybe you didn't go to high school You know like me, but check it out like if you miss that chapter of your life I'm telling you it is the most non-biased

Because I love Pink Floyd and like the album and love the album, but it is the most amazing thing I've I've watched like musically because I don't know how difficult it is to do that sure they could sink up up five, seven waypoints over the course of one or two songs. But like, I don't know how difficult that is. It's still incredible to me that these guys were like, yeah, we're going to sync this up at the Wizard of Oz. I'm wondering if they were inspired by the Wizard of Oz. Did that inspire some, some, some, some, probably.

I mean, probably. You know what I mean? Wasn't that what we're saying? That's what we're saying. That they were inspired by the wizard. I don't think that's where I have a problem. I don't want Wizard of Oz to be associated necessarily with that album because I just think it's so fan.

have to be. You know what I mean? And I don't even think the dark side of the moon has to be primarily associated with Wizard Vaz. I just think it's like such a cool Easter egg. And here's another theory I have now that I've thought about it. Okay, so if coincidence is out the door for me, that means they did it and they did

it on purpose, but they're denying it. So Death Pack, right? What if there's a light side of the moon, B side of the album that releases when the last member of Pink Floyd dies? You gotta think about this because there's still an hour plus of the movie left. How's the movie in?

What's the movie about? I have not gotten to the end of the movie. The movies, you don't know the Wizard of Oz. No, I don't. So basically... Back to Kansas. Yeah, she gets back to Kansas. Oh, we're not in Kansas anymore.

Well, that's what she's saying, what she's not in Kansas. Follow the Yellow Book Road. She's on the Yellow Brook Road. She's going to see The Wizards. She wants the Cowardly Lion, the Tin Man, the Scarfield. Oh, I was the Lion from this film Senior Year High School for Halloween, yeah? Yeah. Senior year.

Yeah. It's like a kid costume. Were your kids sad to come home to dogs with type 2 diabetes? They haven't noticed yet. DVD. All right. But anyways, it was a great weekend. If you want to, like, I really think they should study what man does when he's left

to his own devices. I was the perfect man for two days. I was like really what homo sapien was supposed to be. Like that's homo sapien and his purest element. Right down to, at the end, when you guys all. packed up and left and Tom and Joey were playing the guitars. I was cleaning up the kitchen and I was scarfing pizza and I didn't have any water. And, you know, sometimes where you're like, man, if you don't slow down, you're going to choke.

And then you keep eating. And then I've literally never had that thought. Yeah, because you just don't operate that way. But like, like I, there was a little piece of pizza is my theory. And it got stuck like in the back of my throat somewhere and it would not go away. And it was terrifying because you're like, number one, am I choking? I had the pole socks. I was like, I think I'm straight.

I went over and talked to Tom and Joey. I was like, guys, not to break up the jam ses here, but I might need one of you guys do the Heimlich on me. Just stick around for like 30 minutes to make sure I'm not choking. And Tom's like sitting on the couch. He's like, I think you're going to be okay, buddy. It could be acid reflux. And then eventually he left at 11 o'clock.

And I was up until 3 a.m. Trying to get this stuff out of time. Bro, because it just wouldn't, and I think like coupled with the acid reflux, which is not something I'm used to feel. feeling with whatever piece of food was stuck back there that eventually got dislodged like two in the morning um it was a heart did you start to try the water like the fluids i was doing fluids i was doing peanut butter i ate butter i was gargling i stood under the shower to try to get the shower to

just hit the back of my throat that's eventually what did it so he basically did a popcorn kernel thing with pizza with a piece of pizza which in my and i'm googling like hey where does the larynx meet the trachea because like if I'm sleeping and all of a sudden this thing gets dislogged am I going to choke that's my fear like I'm not it might have been the boomers man somebody could be a cadaver or something so I could like you know what a pound of drug doctor from from the Rams like hey you got five minutes 11 o'clock at night can I go to bed now or do I have to worry about choking you know what the worst thing about like choking or something like that where you're like am I going to die it's probably not going to happen

but it could die is what I realize is I'm at the point where I'm too embarrassed to go to the doctors like I could die because I'm too embarrassed to go to urgent care like I really thought about going to urgent care I thought about sticking a vacuum

down my throat you should I know somebody you're not you can't be alone that long you know that's the point I think that was the point was like after two days it's like you can't be in Vegas too long You can't be alone left to your own devices too long.

You'll choke or something on pizza. What about like chewing up some gum and putting it on a stick and going back down down? I was, I had a fucking, you know, you know, if you have a slate call, if you're turkey hunting, you know, you got the, the little. No, no, no, no, give us one. I had the, I'm not going to give you one. But I had the, I had the stick on my slate call and I had that thing in the back. I was like, I FaceTime my parents, you know, like the whole thing. And of course, they were very concerned.

serious question. They're like making me think I am choking. Are you inside or outside of your mind? I'm inside my mind. Fully. Yes, this has happened to me before, but not to this degree where I couldn't get it out for quite a while. Okay. Like at this point, I'm in the afterglow. It's not like when you're in college and you're drunk and you call your parents because

you think it's fun. No, no, no, I'm perfectly sober and I tried to make that clear to my parents because I think there was like a two, three minute pier where they were like, you see, hi. And then once they realized that I wasn't, I think they were kind of concerned. And then it kind of like, it compounded because they were. were concerned. And then I called my wife and she was like, try some apple cider vinegar. I'm going to bed. I was like, can you hurry up and get home? So that was, that was a big tough guy for the two days. You need, then you had a yeah. The bottom line is I need, I need a blender to grind my pizza

eat it like an old person. If I called my mom and said, mom, I think I'm choking, she would hang up on me. Really? Right away. She'd be like, you're talking to me. You're good. And I turned out I was fine, dude. I woke up this morning. I was like, oh, I'm still here. Oh, you passed it. Your parents love you. Yep, yep. So, anyways, we have PFT commenter coming up in a couple minutes. And I got to be honest, at this point in the sports calendar, we don't know what the

fuck to talk about. So we're going to take our best stab at it. This pot in general is not one that's loaded with NFL headlines. It's the hardest part of the job, guys. Yeah. I mean. Luckily, the sports calendar does continue. We're coming off an NBA All-Star weekend.

which we'll talk about with with golf golf there there are there are there are there are golf matches being they're guys shitting themselves because of in an alberger which is the title sponsor of the event yeah yeah it's like fuck that just backfired they're most likely hockey games on that's what animal style is when you have to shit your pan that's the secret menu there's also there's also there's also a little bit of commander's talk I want to have with PFT because of his fandom. Even though the NFL season's over, you can still make Little Caesars,

the official pizza sponsor of the NFL, your go-to pizza spot. Choose your favorite Little Caesar's pizza or pick the toppings you crave. Either way, you win. And speaking of winning, everyone scores with convenient delivery or our in-store pizza portal pickup. So grab some friends and enjoy a few slices throughout the off-season.

Two housekeeping items real quick. Housekeeping? Number one. Housekeeping? Number one. I've been crushing the mod tub every day. Mod tub for people that are listening. I'm not even doing this.

This isn't part of our deal. All I had to do was a social post, but I'm just doing this because I believe in the product. Mod tub is basically a giant Yeti with a chiller on there that I can turn out of like 40, 40 degrees if I went to. And I get my cold tub every day, which I did not get today. Um, and when I don't get it, I feel it. Uh, listen, dude, cold therapy. I'm just telling you, I'm not just, I'm telling you, I'm not doing this because, because Modub paid me, like, with a, with a unit. They ship your boy unit for a social post, but, um, cold therapy can really help you. If you're, if you're, if you're, if you've got like eggs and pains, if you're

having trouble recovering, if you're suffering from depression, if you, if you, if you need a little kick, like, I can't drink caffeine. So, I, if you're, if you're, if you're, if you're, if you're need something to wake me up i need some dopamine dude ADHD brain needs some dopamine uh every morning i'm in there eight to 10 minutes and that fucking thing's freezing uh but after why i get used to it and this isn't dead of winter i can't wait till it's summer and you're hot as hell and you got to get in there what so what color do you have i got a gray oh yeah that looks real nice anybody who needs whether it's mod tub or something else like you should look into cold therapy now i know a lot of this stuff's really expensive and i understand that like the bitcoin bro kind of guys have high

I jacked like a cold tub therapy is like this new craze and everybody on Instagram that you side eye has a cold tub but I'm just telling you as a professional athlete former professional athlete cold therapy is legitimately the way to go it's like medicine chances are there's like a river or a lake creek near you just go hop in that bad boy dude I tell you we went to the rivenna a couple weeks ago the water had to be 38 degrees we did the sauna it's amazing into the river and the whole thing so like I'm telling you look at these nonsie these nivana Northern European motherfuckers. They live a long time. I was watching a documentary last night in the blue zones, which are zones where people live 100 years or whatever. So I'm looking at some, I'm looking at fish.

I'm looking at olive oil. I'm looking at at sashimi and stuff like that. But I'm also looking at cold tubs, the Nordic guys. They're all over it. In that area in Scandinavia, on those big lakes and fjords. The fjords. They put the they put saunas on like float floats float them out of the middle of the lake with a little motor on the back and then you can jump in the lake do your sauna right in the middle that's what we need what are we doing hey hard hear me out yeah hot showers no dude they don't do it they don't hit the same that's another thing if you're like a cold therapy person which i i always have been but like i've always had a rubber made and going to get ice like and you know intermittently you know you're just not going to do it much more than that because you got to go 10 bags of ice every day you look at some

of these these cold tubs with chillers and you're like oh it's so fucking expensive i understand you're looking at some of these things there are a few thousand dollars depending on and for somebody that might not be within your budget so go look at a river or a lake or a creek like reese read said but i'm telling you this is worth its weight and gold like i if i had to pick between zen for the next two years like my zen budget in a cold tub i'd probably quit zen wow yeah and by the way i have an admin for zen do you want to hear it yeah okay uh you know zin's easier to misplace and misjudged than then dip because like i can't tell how much is it you know like if you have zen you can't tell many pillows are in this thing by shaking it around it's not like dip it's fun to guess it's fun it's it's not

until you you you at 11 o'clock realize that's what i call them okay so you pull up your phone you open an app your wife's looking over your shoulder is that Tinder? You're like no it's not Tinder I promise she's like let me take the phone you look at this she looks at the phone there's a message be right there there's even a car like on

DoorDash you can see it coming and she's like oh it's side chick's on the way like I'm gonna bust him she waits at the door some guy pulls up with a with a baseball cap with a fishing hook on the brim and he gets out of his Toyota to come in toss you some Zen and that's that

Zinder. It's for people, it's for people that are out of Zen at inopportune times. Like there's like a 10 mile radius around you. Whoever has a Zen, it pops up. You get rewards for actually delivering the Zen. I'm telling you, this thing might have legs. Because there's nothing worse than not having nicotine. If you're at a music festival, if you're like in Mexico, I've been in Mexico and had to like rip heaters for two, three days because I was out of Zen. Somebody on resort has Zen. And usually you end up talking to a guy at a concert at 10 p.m. And you're like, fuck, man.

If I only had these pillows all throughout the day, thanks for the exchange. If you had Zinder, no problem. It's a good idea. You're creating a community. Yeah, Zinc community. Yeah, yeah. The crux of the campaign is that it rhymes with Tinder?

Yes. Okay. Zender. Okay. Anyways, here's PFT. Oh, no, one more thing in housekeeping. We've been talking a lot about sumo wrestlers and whether or not they can play in the NFL.

It was a mailbag question last pod. I think yes, Kyle thinks no. I think he's threatened by these guys. He's like, oh, I don't think they can pass that. I'm like, America. He had a nice voice. He does. He has a great voice.

He has a very nice voice. So Colorado State tweeted at us today. They have an actual sumo wrestler on the roster. Amazing. Yeah. So. Amateur champion. Amateur champion. Hit a Torah Hanata.

Yep. Defensive tackle? Yeah, 6-1-280. Yep, perfect. Can we get them on? Lightweight sumo. We should. get him on at some point. Look at this guy

hanging out with his sumo garb outside the outside the defensive line room there. He's smaller than I thought he'd be. Yeah, well he's not one of the big big time professional champions. You get the big time professional champions over here like Nate Newton. With featherweight. Let's have PFT.

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over Super Bowl, PFT commenter, how are we doing, buddy? Hey, Chris, doing good. Hey, Macon. How's it going? Hi, PFT. I'm well and yourself. Doing great. Doing great. I got back from the Super Bowl. Chris, we had a fun time. We hung out.

We had a great night. Friday night. Yeah, Friday night. The last night in Vegas for me, which is always like you just kind of stare at the wall and you're like, why am I here still? But it helped having you out. I was staring at the wall too and the wall was a lot more entertaining for me that night than others. Yeah, dude. I was not happy to be in that nightclub and then and then the medicine kicked in. And you saw my face change immediately. You had a great time. We had a great time. Big ups to PFT for medicine provision. We, on our way out to the club, we, uh, we, we, uh, we, we, we, we,

We arranged a little Mark Davis meetup. Yeah, that was serendipitous. We were walking into the casino, I think, waiting for a car. You, if I remember, my details are a little bit fuzzy, but you had never met Mark before. I had not. I had not. So I accosted him. Yeah.

And he wasn't, like, pissed to see me. He was cool. No, he's really happy to see you. He was like, oh, my God, Chris, it's been so, like, I haven't met you. I feel like I should have met you at some point. And then I'm walking by as you're having, like, a nice heart to heart. You obviously have, like, a family connection. with Mark Davis and the Raiders.

I do not, and I saw you having your little meetup, and I just blurted out. I was like, Mark, part of my take. And you're like, is this your friend? And I was like, yeah, sorry, probably shouldn't have said that right there. It was fun. And also I got to talk to Jeff Lurie, who you were also. I actually piggyback on a couple of your conversations.

Owners, yeah, I'm like the owner go-between for you. Yeah, the owner whisperer. and Mr. Lurie was very happy to be talking to you, and then I went up to him, and I was just like, the commander's going to kick your ass for the next 10 years. I know you did not. I don't think I said that,

but I was just like, we're about to get a great quarterback in this draft, and he's like, well, I hope you picked the wrong one. Dude, who's next on your owner world tour? If you could meet any owner next, who would it be? Easy.

Easy. Every single Packers owner, all 30,000. Just all of them. Shake all their hands. No, it'd be Jim Ursay, Mr. Ursay. I've long wanted to go to one of his concerts, and he has a tremendous selection of guitars. I feel like we've been circling each other for a long time,

and we're going to make it happen at some point, but my favorite Jim Ursay thing that I want to talk to him about is his belief in guitars. So he owns some of the most expensive guitars on planet Earth. I think he probably owns like five out of the top ten, most expensive guitars. He owns a Pink Floyd. yeah i think he has a hendricks but he definitely has i think he has uh oh

floyd one whoa whoa whoa you just said pink floyd and he said hendricks yeah but not in the way that you did it earlier explain to him all right i have not known uh i guess what pink floyd is my entire life i thought pink floyd was a jimmy hendricks song and i think where the signals got crossed is with purple haze which is also a color followed by a word yes but when you just this is a little like Pink Floyd Wizard of Oz No it's just another guitar

that Jim Mersey has Most people don't associate Pink Floyd with Jimmy Hendricks And just topically here The reason this came up PFT was for the first time in my life This week My wife left town

And so what do I do with the two days Take a bunch of drugs And watch Dark Side of the Rainbow Which I've never watched Wizard of Oz synced up with Dark Side of the Moon. I know something everybody did in high school. Did you

do that in high school? I've never done that. No, that's something. Oh, my God, dude. I've heard about it. And I've heard, like, that's the big stoner thing to do is to try to sync it up and see the matches. That's the thing they don't tell you. It's a big stoner thing to do, but then the stoners actually have to

get together and get on the same page and sync it up perfectly, you know, like during the credits and the whole thing. But, but you definitely need to check this out. It's legit. It's not, it's not rumor it's not a conspiracy they really did it uh yeah yeah you got check it out so yeah he's got guitars he also has a an aquatic at tv and a helicopter like a duck boat yeah dude you never saw that video no i haven't seen that one i've seen a lot of jim urs a videos like the the one where he's smoking

cigarettes and powerlifting that one rocks is that recent no that's from his younger days like in his 30s he was strong as shit he was a beast also i want to say you guys uh and i mean this is a compliment. I put you guys in the same category. People when you hear, oh, PFD's doing music, oh, Jim Mersey's doing music. You're like, oh, it's just a, it's a publicity thing. But you guys are actually good at music, you and Jim. Me and Jim. I feel like we'd have a lot to talk about together. His sincere belief in guitars is that if he buys a guitar, the guitar still has that same energy in it, like the same musical notes that have been played on it by all the greats. So if he buys a Hendricks guitar, he thinks that one day we'll have the technology to

extract all the sounds that Jimmy played out of it. And then he'll be able to listen to that and the guitar will play itself. Somebody needs to tell Revelle that these items have powers. So he doesn't buy another like Hitler death certificate, birth certificate. Like it's the same thing, Darren. That'd be a great horror movie though, right? Like Darren Revelle's autograph collection comes alive. He comes alive, night at the museum. And you got Dr. King and Hitler and Rosa Parks playing cards with each other in his study while he's out. Hey, who plays Darren Ravel? Oh, that's a terrible question.

It's got to be either Brennan Frazier or Zach Braff, right? I don't even know Zach Braff. Sure you know Zach Brath. Jimmy Hendricks. Oh, Scrubs. Zach Braff. Oh, I know who he is. Yeah, yeah, yeah, Zach Braff.

Sure, I don't watch Scrubs. He's the better looking, uh, Dax Shepherd. Better looking than Dax Shepard. Um, maybe Frankie Munez. Yeah. Who's playing Jim Ursay? Gary Bucy.

Gary Bucy would be really good at that. I was going to say, uh, Jeff Daniels, probably also strong. That would be great. Also, happy birthday to Jeff Daniels. Is his birthday today? Yeah, today or tomorrow. Uh, time of tape, you know, tomato, tomato for people at February 19th. Who else did you?

you meet at the Super Bowl? I met Mark Davis twice. That was fantastic. Yeah, that was the thing that confused me. Yeah. Because you kind of went back in for seconds. Yeah, went back in for seconds. And I just wanted to like hammer home because we accosted them in, in a mall earlier that

week, both me and Big Cat. I saw that. I saw him coming. You can't mistake Mark Davis. Like I saw him probably 50, 60 yards away. I was just like, boom, that's Mark. So we go up to him and we basically just say, hey, you have to come on our podcast, which is the coolest thing you can say to.

somebody and he was like yeah okay all right sure sounds good yeah the way he said yes i was like it's never going to happen well so we went up to him and we just we introduced ourselves we've been asking his his reps if we could get him on the show at some point and i guess we assume that he i guess had heard of us which he absolutely had not i don't think and then big cat tries to pull like i i know one of your friends move he's like uh the assistant coach at arkansas he's one of my guys and big cat based on the name for it but apparently it is the guy that mark is close Mark is close with that big cat knows, but he just did like, assistant coach, Arkansas. And Mark Davis looked at him like, what?

And because like, yeah, he's one of my guys and he says that you would want to come on the show. And then Mark was just like, okay, let's take a picture and get out of here. And then when I saw him later on in the week, I just, I could only stumble the words part of my take to just try to reinforce the booking that we got with him. Just, you know, for name repetition so it gets in his head. We'll see. We'll see if that happens. Yeah, I met Mark twice, saw Russell Wilson. He made quite an entrance at the, at the shack-fond house party.

He was just, do you remember the look that he had on his face when he was walking? No, I never saw him. He was right with us. So it was like right after or before. Not with us. With us? Yeah. Really?

Yeah. I think it was right after the Jeff Lurie meeting. And he walked behind us in that hallway and walked in with Sierra. and she was coming down like that that hallway there and Russ had this look on his face like he he practices his runway look and he was just mean mugging everybody walking down the hallway oh yeah

he's looking intense focused I saw that thug Sean Payton walking around oh I didn't see him oh multiple times she's in like a fucking t-shirt and jeans just walking through the casino like he was normal that sounds about right trying to blame imagine if they'd run into each other in the hallway Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.

That would be fireworks. Yeah. I did the same thing you did with Big Cat did with Mark Davis with Jordan Love. I walked up Jordan Love. I was like, Don Tavian Wicks, it's our guy. You know, and his eyes lit up. Like, maybe we'll get Jordan Love. But yeah, like I've got a bunch of unanswered DMs to people after Super Bowl week about,

hey, you said you might come on the podcast. They're not coming on the podcast. Maybe Mark Davis for PMT. Do you like Vegas as a Super Bowl city? I actually kind of did. I had a fun week. And maybe there was a lot of stuff to do, a lot going on. I feel like the Super Bowl is going to be back there on whatever the fast track is going to be like every four years probably, every five years in Vegas.

I think it was such a big success with all the casinos making money. All the celebrities showed up there because it was like, you know, Vegas, excuse to go to Vegas. I feel like they're going to have it back there again. I liked it. I didn't. I liked it more than I thought I would because. in my opinion at this age, the perfect amount of time to spend in Vegas is like 36 hours. Yeah, that's stretching it. Yeah.

I think you fly in Friday. If you're a east coaster, 36. If you're a west coaster, I say 48 tops. Yeah, you fly in Friday evening, get that first night, second day, full day in Vegas, and then early, early Sunday, maybe even like right after midnight, Saturday night, fly out. Ooh, I can't do that red eye with a buzz. these guys kind of did it they went to gronks beach party all the production guys i came down to the wind buffet at like three o'clock before our flight and they were shit-faced i want to talk to you about a little bit more football how bad a hires is dan quinn what a bummer pft you're such a hater

turn your hat backwards making get in spirit yeah uh dan quinn is my first choice you hear this it's funny the other day i did this whole segment on dan quinn and anytime somebody's hired, I don't like to bury the higher. I like to give the pros and the cons and try to stay kind of like positive but down the middle. And Macon texted me later like, would you want me to get in on

that segment a little bit more because I just had a bunch of ammunition to shit all over Dan Quinn and I didn't do it. So here's your chance. You have a preexisting relationship with him. Well, I know a lot of people. I know Joe Barry. I was talking bad about the Packers

defense. Yeah, that's one of the hardest things now. you know when you're actually talking football and you guys get into a little bit where you're like you have serious opinions and you're like fuck i hope i don't offend the guy but coaches inevitably are going to take things personally if you talk about them yeah the funny part for me was how washington wanted a bunch of coaches that they didn't get and then settled on on din that's fake that's fake news story was supposedly that the ben johnson thing it was more split you know like that it wasn't like half the plane on the way was like we really want them And half the plane was like, this guy's fucking weird, dude. He asked for like $40 million. And he's kind of out there.

And, you know, I don't know if he can command a room. I don't know. These are the things like, again, it's hearsay. Yeah. What I heard is that we wanted to give him a test because we didn't know if he was trustworthy, Ben Johnson. And so the test was we're going to tell him that we're going to interview him. It was a fake interview. Fake interview.

Or we're going to get on a plane and we're going to see if he's the kind of guy that would cancel an interview while we're on the plane. And it turns out that he is. so thank God we put that test in place perfect trap yeah perfect trap perfectly laid trap the old ownership group would have totally botched that now here's what's funny to me is after that whole thing am i remembering this right

uh pft where they get back in their incensed that ben jonson because he canceled the meeting and how how much that threw off their process and the whole thing Aaron glens over there like what the fuck were you not coming to talk to me like at all in earnest like it was this the biggest fake interview ever. Yeah.

Because Aaron was also the reason that they went to Detroit. They acted like they wasted gas money. Yeah, I think that was a fake interview with Aaron Glenn. Like, Aaron Glenn seems like a good guy. Seems like his players like him. Yes. But, I mean, look at Detroit's defense. It was tough.

I didn't understand why he was like a name that was being thrown around there to begin with. Fake interviews. Yeah, fake interviews. Which sucks, which sucks. I make that clear. I think that sucks. you know but but the new the the the the the ruling rule and everything and the hiring focus

unfortunately a bad side effect is going to we're going to have fake interviews so i've got an idea for a new rule yeah you guys can let me know what you think because there was that report that came out super bowl week that mike brable was too large and intimidating yes being an NFL head coach do we need a runy rule for fat head coaches no we need an LP with an earpiece So basically Vrable's outside in the lobby. And like you got a wee man situation, not going to be threatening at all to these owners. And he's relaying via some speech technology, whatever Mike Vrable would say in the lobby. So they can't be intimidated by him.

Now you were saying big fat coaches. Yeah. Yeah. Every team should have to interview a fat guy each year. Yes. I agree. There's nothing wrong with that. Fat guys win Super Bowls.

The name Ben Johnson. literally translate to oh ben jonson um he's a penis in his heart's size foreskin okay so so how is your are you hopeful are you like are you feeling the the change the winds of change or are you concerned because one of the reports was that ben jonson was so turned off by these basketball guys making their basketball analogies to football because i think that's the corniest thing I've ever heard if that was happening. It's like when I go to the doctors and they're telling me I have like I have a medical condition and they're trying to put it in football terms. They're like basically, it's like a blitz. You're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're,

these basketball guys are going to fuck it up i'm hopeful i'm very hopeful and uh i it can't be worse than dan that's the thing it's like no matter what happens it's not dan snider and there's no chance that this guy can be any worse than him what could this guy do that could be worse nothing nothing like i i i don't think that i could have hated dan snider anymore by the time he was gone so i i think well i know that i'm hopeful i think that dan quinn is uh his players like him he's a Super Bowl appear, Chris? It's a big deal. He's been in Super Bowl.

Actually, when I first heard the Dan Quinn news, I started going through the list of ways I can talk myself into Dan Quinn. Yes. And the first things that popped to mind, it was like, well, he got to Super Bowl, and he took a quarterback, and his quarterback had an MVP season, and he dominated the NFC South. And then I realized very quickly, I'm just doing Ron Rivera again. Yeah, you're doing Ron Rivera.

Super Bowl. Super Bowl, a peer, alpha male, seems that his players like him. But the people really do like Darren Quinn, and he hired a really good staff in Atlanta. That's kind of the positive spin I put on it. When you look back at Atlanta, all the coaches that became head coaches on the staff, it's incredible. I mean, Shanahan wasn't Shanahan when he hired him. You know, Rahim Morris, the LaFleur brothers. There's a whole bunch of guys, Ulbrick, who's in New York now with the Jets, was down there.

So he had great staff to see if you can do the same thing. Yeah, so it's funny because the graphic that they always show, and it's always on Fox for some reason, is the former Washington head coaches from 2013 and where they are now. Now that graphic becomes the Falcons head coach. The Falcons. Because all those guys were on the Falcons, plus you have Dan Quinn. He was also on the Falcons. So now it's like, look at what a locked in dialed up coaching staff the Falcons had. I think that by hiring Dan Quinn, we just kind of absolved ourselves of, of the Falcons.

that meme that always goes around. But I like Dan, and you're right, the staff I think is pretty solid. I like Cliff. When we got Cliff, oh boy, oh, I was speculating. I speculated all over the place because it was like he's going to be a raider. Wait, what could entice him to go to the commanders, Caleb Williams, are we going to trade up get Caleb? So I've sold myself on this staff. Again, it can't be any worse. I think he's going to be competent. You can't the Super Bowl appearance was good for Dan Quinn. It was good. Obviously, you were on the other side of the coin on that one.

But 28 to 3 against Bill Belichick, at some point in this game, he had those guys ready to play. And, you know, Shanahan didn't do himself any favors this week and shaking off that kind of like ghost from 28 to 3. We can put that on Dan Quinn. And I know if I was Dan Quinn, I would have walked down and been like, run the fucking football. But part of that's Kyle, too. Yeah. I agree. And Kyle is definitely getting, I think some deserve criticism.

Deserve, yeah. For the overtime decision-making thing. I don't about you guys, but when I heard the new rule, the very first thing that I thought was, well, you should want to kick off in overtime now. Like, that was the first thing that occurred to me and Big Cat when Jake was giving us the rundown of the rule changes for this year. And, yeah, you absolutely should.

Especially in a low-scoring game. In a low-scoring game where chances are there's going to be a punt. And there wasn't a punt, although they overcame like third and very long because of a hold. Like that was almost very easily a punt and a midfield drive start for Kansas City with a chance to win. The more compelling justification for me than my defense was gassed was if it's field goal, field goal, then we get the next shot. If a touchdown, touchdown, nobody goes for two, we get the next shot. But I do think, you know, if he had just said, even if he was lying after the game that like my defense got dogwalk for two minutes at the end of regulation, they're tired. I would have been like, okay. But he had some galaxy brain. I'm going to get the

ball third when that never happened. And you know what? When he said that, I stopped and thought for a second. I was like, that does sound pretty sweet. It sounds cool. But Kansas City was going to go for two. All right, two questions then. Number one, who's the quarterback? It's going to be a new quarterback. No, I know. But who do you want it to be out of these college players? I can talk myself in to any of the top three. And I could even talk myself into Michael Pennix. I would just go back and watch the semifinal game. Be like, yeah, just watch it.

Yep, that's your CJ Stroud game. Dude, forget the Natty. I could talk myself into Caleb Williams. I think I'm sorry to be able to fuck myself into Drake May. Okay. And Jaden Daniels, I can just be like, we got Lamar Jackson. This guy's dynamic.

Yes. And a better passer than Lamar was coming out of college. Yep, yep. Okay, so any of the quarterbacks, And then this is the last question on the commanders. Would you, if you could, pitch us a new stadium? Where is it going to be? What does it look like?

Yeah. What are you incorporating into the architecture of the stadium? Okay, so a couple things on that one. It should be in D.C. It should be at the old RFK site. And from what I understand, the city council of D.C. was just kind of holding that hostage from Dan because they were like, we're not going to do this.

We don't want to be in the Dan Snyder business. No. So once we got new ownership, talks immediately began about, okay, how can we actually make this work? And the way that it's set up, I go through, it's like, do you know how to play craps? No, but I've watched it a lot. Okay, so me too. And I've learned how to play craps maybe six times, but I've forgotten how to play crap. I've unlearned it.

Six times. Yeah. That's the same way for me with the RFK Stadium policy, because it's on federal land. but it is something about like the lease that's on it has to go through the federal government and the city government and the lease that it's on has like a 99-year term and there has to be some sort of sports facility on it. So they can't build anything else on that land except for some sort of athletic facility. And I think the definition of that could be pretty broad, but I think that the city wants RFK back. They want that land to be a football stadium.

So I think it's going to be there. And what I would like to see in terms of the design was one of my favorite parts of the Dan Snyder era. It was like four or five years ago. He promised an upgrade and a complete renovation rehaul of FedEx Field. And he released a bunch of designs like graphic renderings, artist renderings of what he wants in place. And my favorite was he for some reason had a wave pool with people surfing going. on the stadium like a moat and there's dude just like on a surfboard in landover maryland i think dan was just like i'm gonna i'm gonna throw a bunch of like i'm gonna be fun in december he probably

got coked up one night uh allegedly and was like yeah let's just throw some red meat out here to get people off my trail fucking put a wave pool in there that's so good anything pool would be good guys the jacsonville the genesis invitational was last weekend and a game of craps broke out oh yeah that's true That's true. That's true. We don't need to transition to golf. That was just a... No, no, no, but somebody did... They shit their pants.

Well, they almost shit their pants because of the In-N-Out Burger. Several folks. And that's the title sponsor. Running to the T. Tiger got an ambulance, yeah. Golfers are not athletes, man. John Daly. No, I mean, like, yeah, John Daly exists.

The fact that, you know, in-and-out's too much for these guys. And then, you know, like, after the... the match, one of the guys that won, he's just sitting there vaping? The caddy, yeah. He's a caddy, yeah. He's a caddy. Okay, well, then maybe the caddy's not an athlete. There's another golfer, Kyriditch Affie Barnrat, I think is his name.

And I only know him because he's like, he buys Jordans and Yeezys. And he just vapes huge clouds on the course. I saw a picture of this guy. Massive clouds. It's the biggest clouds you've ever seen. That's his thing. And then there's the dude Cabrera. I think Cabrera is the one that smokes cigarettes while he's playing.

Yeah, that guy's like vaping like a kid that goes to the mall. You know, that's the level of vape that this guy was exhausting out of his mouth. So, yeah, these guys had to leave because they had the shits. And it reminded me of Paul Pierce having to leave in the wheelchair, but he had, you know, he had the shits and everything. It turned out, what's the most embarrassing way to leave? a game. All right, so this actually happened to me in high school. I was playing football. I was a backup fullback, backup wide receiver, at times starting kicker. And I got into a game, which is pretty big for me at the time. And it was a blowout, our starting center got called over by the referee,

and the ref was like, turn around, let me see your ass. And they looked at his ass, and he was not wearing a butt pad, which I'm told happens a lot in the league. Nobody knows butt pads. It gets in the way of things, right? Yeah. But you're not allowed to do that in high school, at least our high school at the time. They looked for that. Yeah.

So he didn't have a butt pad with him because it gets in the way of the snap. And so we have to use a timeout. And our coach is like, we need to get this guy a new butt pad. And then he points at me. He's like, give him your butt pad. And so I had to take my belt off, give her or center my butt pad and then got benched for the rest of the game. Because you didn't have a butt pad. I had the most expendable butt pad on the entire team.

Chris didn't leave. That's great, but you probably felt great once you took the butt pad out. I felt like I was part of the team. You feel like you're just weightless out there without that thing. We all make sacrifices, Chris. My sacrifice was this guy can have my butt pad. That's a pretty good one. It's like Thurman Thomas, but you knew exactly where your equipment was.

It was in the ass crack of the center. Uh-huh. Yeah, and then he gave the pad back to me later. I was like, dude, I don't want this buck pad back. It's yours now, bro. It's totally yours. Last thing on the commanders, what are we changing the name to? Are they changing it back at some point?

I feel like people have gotten tired of this conversation. They might have, but I'm all over it. I'm watching Josh Harris like a hawk. Week in, week out. I saw everything the guy wore. He wears Washington Commander's hats that have the W on him, right? Uh-huh. He does that all the time.

At every single game, anytime he's in front of the media, you will never see him wearing a shirt that says commanders on it. It's always like, and it's not even just a different Washington commander's shirt. He brings his own burgundy shirts from home that don't have anything on them, right? So I've never seen the man wear the word commanders. I would think at some point, if you just bought this team and you're the owner, you would wear the team name at some point, right? Yeah, no.

I think yeah he's going to change it I think it's going to get changed I would like to see it my order is kind of I've got three names that I would like one would be red hogs hogs I'm totally hogs hogs is good

hogs is awesome number two would be I like red wolves still okay you could do a lot of stuff with like a cartoon wolf or a dog and then number three just football team yeah yeah that was great it really was

But a lot of people hate it on it first And then it kind of grew on you No, it was cool And it ended up being pretty cool So actually my favorite Method of changing it back Would be if they went back to football team For like two more seasons

And then after football team They're like, okay, now we're the hogs Just a commander sandwich Yeah dude They got to change that name Here's something we've got to change The All-Star game in basketball Matt

Out of 10 Rated it two two out of ten yeah why can't they play hard like a couple years ago what happened i mean the best players set the tone nobody like nobody comes out playing hard there's no financial incentive how do we fix it yeah that's what i'm wondering like how do we fix how do we incentivize how do we improve something that i'm not going to watch anyways all right so um good question i didn't watch it hand up let's all weigh in on how we fix this thing that we don't even care about i'm so glad I didn't watch it. I'm so, so glad.

Because I did see the clips, and it looked awful. I think they called three fouls. I think there were three fouls. Sounds like the Super Bowl. Yeah. So I think you can fix it by just having Pat Bev play every year. If he's on the court, he's going to be going hard, and then people are going to be like, fuck you, Pat Bev, and then they'll end up trying. So that would be a good way to do it.

I was thinking maybe the losing team has to get their fits selected. for game day by the winning team the rest of the year. Because if you think about what, you got to figure out what's important to these guys. And one of the first things I think about is their clothes walking into the arena. Can you imagine if the winning team was just putting Tyrese Halliburton

in a fucking, in a fucking Canadian tuxedo a week in a row, and then he's got to wear like fucking Abercrombie and Fitch one week, I would be killing guys on the losing team. There has to be some punishment that the losing team has to incur. And it can't be financial because they have so much fucking money. They get their DMs leaked. They get their DMs leaked. I like that.

I thought it was delightful. You see, one of the teams scored over 200 points. Well, I mean, I think you can fix a dunk contest by maybe... Adam Silver didn't even like it. Picking from a pool of NBA players, respectfully, would be a good start and having the best players actually dunk without props. You're talking about the nice... Yeah, yeah, I think the game is fine.

Nobody's watching anyway. Yeah, it's more competitive than the, it's more, it's more interesting to me than the Pro Bowl. The Pro Bowl, like, in its current or recent state where it's like guys playing flag football, I'd much rather watch, like, the Globetrotters, you know, which is essentially what it was, like Yokic and. All right, how about? Not even dribbling down the court.

Like, okay, that's cool. 13-foot rims. That's what I think should happen at the dunk contest. Raise the rims, dude. Raise the rims. more creative dunks like guy has to jump over his hose line them all up

you go jump on now jump over the other guy's hose Nick Young's jumping out yeah Nick Young has requested I'm thinking of an NBA player's name just give me my Zion Williams's hose you know what I mean

yeah Tristan Thompson's got jump over his hose that'd be I mean that'd be funny I think also oh this is one I got a great one the winner of the dunk contest gets two million dollars for an Ohio charity of your choice yeah LeBron is not letting anybody else do that that's good I like that if you want to get LeBron involved you're like hey the winner of this event is going to fund a school in Ohio we're going to fund it for you it's your choice which one yeah I'm telling you lebron will be there ligity split and i'll fix the all-star game if you

have spent five million it'll come back to you i like that idea a lot i was actually just thinking the other day you remember the um the train to railment in ohio yeah it must be it must be so hard for people to donate money to east palestine now right yeah yeah you're you're afraid of the follow-up question for people that don't know it's like ah shit do i really want to uh uh uh be a lot of people that don't understand geography. Can you tell me it's East Palestine, Ohio was what? God damn it. Yeah.

That's a good idea, though. I like the idea of just basically holding LeBron hostage to increase ratings. I also like the takes that are being fired off about how just LeBron James is responsible for everything bad about the NBA right now. Literally, if he was in the in the dunk contest, it would be camera flasers. flashes in slow motion and iconic footage. We just haven't had anything like that in a while. We have like that white guy, right?

Mac McLung. Mac McLung. We have an Irish guy versus Jalen Brown who puts a glove on. The best thing he can do is lean into his own deficiency. He's like, I can't go left. Here I'm going to put a glove on. Like that's where it's come to. It's not good, dude.

The dunk contest is. I also feel like after a certain point, if you've dunked the ball enough different ways, you can't dunk it any different ways. You got to, like, incorporate some parkour or something. You know, rich guys in Hollywood that have had sex with so many people that eventually they're bored and then they just start having sex with things and men and, like, you know, it's like big jaggers. Yeah.

That's how I feel about the dunk contest. I've seen it all. I've seen it all. I need something else, you know? I do know. very well I agree though I think

It's not that I don't like dunks I've seen every dunk You reach the limit of what you can do To dunk a basketball I would have that dude Yeah Get all the guys that can't dunk And put them in the dunk contest

That would do a lot better There's like 8% of players in the NBA They can't dunk I look this up Get like Patty Mills out there Trey Young Tray Young Jalen Brunson You know I don't care if we got to put a trampoline out there

I think it would be better. That was my idea was to just turn into slam ball, just like a trampoline for the dunkers, trampoline for one defender that gets to go up and try to block it. How about you got to dunk in the clothes you wore to the arena? Or like you got to dunk in like a three-piece suit. You know, we got to get creative here. It's just not working in its current format.

And also, just a general rule for the NBA. Start the fucking thing on time. Okay? Not that I was watching it, but I could imagine if I was, I'd be sitting there if my son was home last night and I'd be like, yeah, 20 more minutes, 20 more minutes, 20 more minutes. The NBA is far too late at night.

If you didn't have Shaq and Chuck and Kenny and Ernie, people would not be watching late at night. I agree. What do you think about the idea of stealing from baseball and making it worth something? Like the winner gets home field advantage in the playoffs? I think the winner gets the other guy's hose. Okay.

I do like the idea of choosing their tunnel. outfit. How about Chris Paul dunking over Ryan Rosillo? That would be good because everybody else has dunked over Ryan about Chris Paul. So why not why I get? How about Durant dunking over Nick Wright? Yeah. They had a little back and forth. I like these ideas, Chris.

They should listen to you. I also loved Adam Silver after the game when he was doing the presentation. He was just like and the East scored more points tonight. Congrats. Well, well, you are there. the winners. You are not the losers. I think he said you guys congratulations on I guess scoring more points. Just made a total mockery of his all-star weekend and he can't do anything about it. You can't do shit about it. Yeah. You know, you can make me come to dinner, but I'm not

going to necessarily act on my best behavior. That's kind of what happened. Adam Silver threw a big party and the guy's just fucking half-assed it. We won't take you through the whole story, but Chris nearly died last night, PFT from a choking incident over the course of several hours. Yeah, it was one of those slow chokes. Have you ever come close to dying? Have I come close to dying? What's the closest you have come to dying? I got in a bad car accident one time. I know that's not like a funny one necessarily. Geez, man. Does he that in his wiki? But besides that, I don't think I've, I mean, I did have COVID three times. So you've never just done. a truckload of drugs and

watched movies and then gotten pizza lodged in your throat. That's the George W. Bush. Remember when he almost choked on that pretzel? Is that what happened to G. Dub? Yeah. He came out the next day for like his press conference and he had this massive cut on his face and he was like yeah, I choked on a pretzel.

It almost got me. Well, if he was like me he was up till 3 a.m. You know, because he didn't want to go to sleep because he's worried that the thing gets dislogged in your sleep and you never wake up. And then I would be incredibly embarrassed because here's what i would be embarrassed and we talked about i texted pft to be like what are the most embarrassing ways to die but like i think any time they do the autopsy in a week

later they're like there were mushrooms and marijuana in his system and it really had nothing to do with any of that yeah it had everything to do with the fact that the pizza was so dry and i was in a hurry you know that that's happened to me dead sober before and a little piece got lodged in the back of my throat, dude. He was like a bat in a cave and he wouldn't come out. Nothing I tried. So I think the most embarrassing way to die is when your autopsy report has like a drug in there. Because no matter what you do, you can be dying, like you get hit by a truck and they're like, well, it's his fault. Yeah, it would be like unrelated, but maybe contributing causes to the pizza incident. Oh, and the fucking, the MAGA guys would own me. If you choked on a piece of pizza, yeah, I mean,

They'd have to go check out comic ping pong again. What does it mean? What is the simple? But I think if you choked on a piece of pizza, the bad side effect of that would be you'd be remembered as way fatter than you really are. Right. You're in good shape. But it'd be like, oh, Chris Long, defense of lineman, he loved food so much and he was so fat and he choked on pizza. See, I never fainted like George Bush.

I just called my parents and paced around the house for, I, uh, it's. three hours trying everything and get it out i have a lot of respect for the chalky answer of auto erotic is fixed it's it's it's as it's as it's david caridine yeah because you're you're you're committed you're you're you're literally your your balls are to the wall and and and in most scenarios you're not under the influence no under the influence of love yeah it's just horny yeah i think That's a good way to go. I think, you know how Jules and Danny have a system where, like, when we brought this up when Matt Stafford was clearly concussed and then he grabs his arm or like they ran over and

Danny and Jules had a system for when they were concussed. They would go over and make it seem like it was something else. Yeah. I want a system. I want to pack with you guys right here that if we ever get to that point and we're doing the autoerotic asphyxification. That you guys, like, there's like a beeper that goes off and like Chris just died. He hung himself at his closet looking.

it fucking, God knows what. It would be embarrassing, but you guys got to come over and, like, prop me up in a chair like I was like, uh, oh, heart disease. No, like I was doing something like noble. Okay. Like I was playing a board game. You know, that's got to be our pact here. Now, it's going to be uncomfortable when you show up.

Well, with the boner and all. Rigged mortis. Yeah, put him out in the backyard and put like an axe in his hand. He was chopping wood. Chopping wood. He was a real man. Yeah. Right, right.

We will have to dress you. Yeah. I think that for me, the most embarrassing way to die would probably be if you get run over by your own car. That happens from time to time. Like if you're working on it. You get out. Yeah. You forget to put it in park and it's still going.

You get run over by your own car. That's a tough one to come back from. How about exotic animal ownership? I feel like that's a really embarrassing way to go because everybody's like told you. Any pet that you shouldn't have. Komodo dragons in your house. No fucking figure. What did you think was going to happen?

Yeah. If you drink too much water. That's on my list. And you probably contribute to that, Chris, with all your well building over in Africa. Have you ever stopped to think, like, how dangerous that could be? Yeah. When we implement the solutions, we oftentimes, five to ten people die. Yeah.

They just don't drink too much. They're just overhydrated. No, that doesn't happen. How about the pornage? I always have this big fear when I used to look at porn. I don't look at it anymore. Um, is where like if you die suddenly unrelated and you're sitting there and like your history, your browser, like what was he looking at?

You know, like your family's got to find you. That I, I, this hasn't been answered in the age of laptops and people die, does somebody, if there's no crime, you don't need to go in and crack the computer to see what's on there, right? I always wonder, I always wonder because like, I had this thought. the other night I was making a time lapse while I was sitting there having a fire and like I was in my lawn chair

and it was just me and the kids were gone and the family was gone and I was like what if I died they would come find me with my phone out and they'd be like oh it's clearly a suicide thing they just died doing a time lapse you know I would really want them to unlock my phone and they would because they'd try to find a note

and then they realized I was just a moron with my solo stove on upside down yeah doing a fucking doing a fucking time lapse that used to be a thing back in the day was like you'd have a friend that would come over and throw away all your porn for you. Right. That's what I'm asking you guys to do with the carotine scenario. Not that I think we're going to get there. One day in the not so distant future, they'll just be able to take like your browsing history and upload you to the cloud. Yes, dude, which is not good. Another one is

ass shots like surgeries, any surgeries. When I got my hand fused, it like entailed them chipping into my bone here on my wrist to take bone out to graft into my hand and like they had to open the thing up and everything and I requested to be awake and supposedly I was awake for probably 30 minutes and when they were chipping away at the bone I kept being like ah

like heavily drugged and then they were just like boop and I woke up three hours later and I was like fuck you guys man it just wasn't going to work But I have a fear of not waking up going under for some stupid surgery. Yeah, elective surgery would be tough, especially if there's anything to do with your butt, even if it's not elective.

Like if it's a medical procedure, like getting something done to your butt and then you die. That would be pretty embarrassing. I also had on my list here getting killed on the toilet. If you die on the toilet. Oh, for sure. Typically, like with a crossbow, that would be embarrassing too. Like with a crossbow on the toilet? Yeah, if like maybe your son shoots you with a crossbow.

crossbow if you get killed by your son yeah you're going to get killed by your son i have one uh jihad totally avoidable if you died in a jihad yeah like just don't buy in a jihad right yeah just all you had to do is not no hod you're into jihad i'm into no hod all right uh i also had getting killed by your pet that you shouldn't have that's kind of similar to yours like the comodo dragon thing dangerous pet like a snake or a tiger be doubly embarrassing if you're like a magician and your whole thing was training tigers and then one day your tiger mauled you i've heard this before that also i saw a guy on instagram the other day you know these instagram animal guys that have no background they're not steve or or when they just understand impressions and like clicks and they're trying

to monetize their pages and they like just tag themselves as like wild bill or something and it's just some frat boy in the everglades handling snakes or it's somebody that got a plane ticket and went over to Africa to handle a cobra. The other day I saw one of those guys get bit by the cobra. He's in the middle of his spiel. Like, these things are very peaceful animals. They don't bite. The whole thing.

That would be an embarrassing way to go for content. And I'm not just talking about jumping for TikTok, like cliff jumping or anything. It's the animal handling that makes it extra stupid to me. Agreed. But in that same vein, if you're doing a prank video and you die during the prank video, Number one, no one's going to have any sympathy for you whatsoever. Yes. There was a guy that got shot in Dulles Town Center Mall in Northern Virginia.

This was like a year ago. And he was just being the most annoying dude ever. He was going up to seamless drivers and just like annoying them and just screaming their faces. This one driver was like, back away from me, back away from me, back away from me, bam, shot him. He survived. But the jury found the guy not guilty, which rocked. And did he keep doing pranks? Yeah.

So then he's still back. He's doing prank. surfer the kids eat by a shark he's like i couldn't go without surfing mate like you got to get back out there and do more pranks like what the fuck he needs to he actually needs to go do the same prank that he got shot doing yeah and try to record that uh i think that um if you're doing videos you're doing any sort of meme and you die like uh i think like five people died planking when that was a big thing yeah you don't want to die planking i just came across some really interesting.

See? So I searched celebrities that have choked. The first guy that comes up is Jimmy Hendricks. A Pink Floyd. Pink Floyd. Also, John Bonham. I didn't know he died choking. I think that these were all choking on your own vomit.

Fomit. Yeah. Yeah, well, I was just eating pizza. Okay, cool, cool, cool, cool. The only other thing I wanted to ask you about was some of your endurance feats. Jerry after dark is a thing that I think we've all been kind of locked into. It's finding ways that you guys can do YouTube videos that are 20 hours long. And people are watching them at 3 in the morning.

Talk to me about some of the challenges and the ones that you partaking in. Okay. So we did, I only did one Jerry After Dark. I was with him for a lot of the time when he was in his hole in one and trying to accomplish that. But I did the finding needles in a haystack on me and Big Cat's birthday. We both turned 39, like on adjoining days, 30th and 31st. And so we locked ourselves in the gym with a bunch of hay, and we had to find 39 needles in this haystack before we were allowed to leave.

And you found them. We found them. It took a long time. How long did it take? I want to say like five hours. that's pretty quick yeah it wasn't as bad as it could be but you get like hay fever is a thing

there's all this dust and I don't know if it's pollen whatever it is but you're inhaling all the dust for hours and hours I was like hay fever I was like oh that's what that means when you're like just confused in the hay that was my first thought dude it sucks I woke up the next morning and blew my nose and it was just like all this weird black shit coming out it was it was bad but uh I'm glad you're okay. When you do the Jerry After Dark challenges,

you have to understand that you are locking yourself in hell for as long of a time as it takes for the chat to let you go. So the chat runs that entire show. Everyone that's in there is like telling you what you can and can't do. I told Jerry he recreated the Stanford Prison Experiment, except he made himself a prisoner. And then all the people in the chat are the guards. And the power went straight to their head.

And so they know that they run the show. And they're pretty funny for the most part. And so you just have to like acknowledge the fact that you were going to be living in hell for four to 12 hours. And good luck. What else has he done? He did, let's see, the whole and one challenge. He's done a bunch of cinnamon challenges. He did one where he had to make, I want to say like 18 three-pointers in a three-point contest.

He's done a lot of stuff that's been pretty challenging for him. He did one with Brandon and Titus that didn't end so well, but there was a lot of blindfolding going on, sticking your hands in mouse traps, things like that, just being a prisoner to the stream. All right, well, PFT pulling for the commanders for you, man. Paints me to say that, but it might be a feel-good story this year. Who knows? Why not us? Why not us?

We've been the laughing stock of the entire league and the division for a long time. Everything's turning around. It's going to be great. It's going to be wonderful. Thank you for having me on. I am a little disappointed that Dr. Faxx isn't there because at the Super Bowl, Dr. Fax was the coolest guy in every room that we're willing to. He's an electric personality.

The sunglasses stay on with him. Yes. I appreciate that. Yes. He's the man. Yeah, well, he enjoyed your company as well, and we'll make sure to get you back on when Fax is in as well and talk some more commies. Let's do it.

If that's what they're called. Yeah, we're to the commies. Fuck it.