Green Light with Chris Long - Scott Van Pelt! On Coach K, Phil's PGA Win & The Best Gig In Sports. Happy Birthday Cameos From Russillo, Howie Long, Robert Frank & More.

Episode Date: June 4, 2021

(01:05) - Welcome, Layup Line, Good, Bad and Ugly from the Week and Trainspotting Movie Review. (27:52) - NFL & Race-Norming Controversy. (44:20) - Scott Van Pelt on Coach K's Retirement, Maryland's Rivalries, Golf and SportsCenter with SVP. (1:50:35) - Mailbag: Old Age and Little Inconveniences. Green Light Spotify Music: https://open.spotify.com/user/951jyryv2nu6l4iqz9p81him9?si=17c560d10ff04a9b Spotify Layup Line: https://open.spotify.com/playlist/1olmCMKGMEyWwOKaT1Aah3?si=675d445ddb824c42 Green Light with Chris Long: Subscribe and enjoy weekly content including podcasts, documentaries, live chats, celebrity interviews and more including hot news items, trending discussions from the NFL, MLB, NHL, NBA, NCAA are just a small part of what we will be sharing with you. http://bit.ly/chalknetwork Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

I did a bad job on the clip of explaining that after the choreographed celebration for Abilene, they missed the extra point because of the penalty, which in the end was the reason that you didn't cover. That and the fact that Virginia ran a double pass from their own two-yard line that resulted in a safety, which is the most fucked up play I've ever seen in the history of football. Happy birthday, Kate. I just want to be the first person on this podcast to wish her a happy birthday. She's lovely. I hope you had a great birthday.

It's been some days. I wanted to give your husband a chance, your lovely husband a chance to shout you out on the podcast. Nothing happens. So here we are. Happy birthday. You know, it's interesting. Before you said this, I had said happy birthday to my lovely wife, Kate. And then you said, I'm going to cut that from the pod and start with.

Did that happen? and start with. He's shaking his head. You cut the checks around here, all right? I don't, Cowboy Reed is not an unbiased judgment. Well, judgeer.

Listen, however it came down, I'm not worried about it, but Kate had a birthday, and I got her a present. You did? Yeah, I did. And I wanted to,

I'll unveil it right now on the pod. Kate, how you doing? This is Hugh Jackson. Hey, I want to wish you a very special birthday. I hope you're getting a chance suspended with family and friends and the people that support you and that love you and that

really admire all of the work that you're doing behind the scenes supporting your husband and all the great work that he does. That is just tremendous and you should be recognized for that. And especially on your special day, we want to send a shout out to you saying, happy birthday. Obviously, your husband influences so many people. And we, know that you are really the driving force behind him and that says a lot that's called teamwork they always say teamwork makes a dream work so Kate is it's you and it's your day and it's your special day and we want to recognize that and tell you to have a great day and again best wishes continue the great work that you're doing

and congratulations to your husband and a great work that he's doing but boy I tell you it's nothing like having a partner to to walk it out with you. So Kate, we want to recognize that, but more so than that, we want to recognize that today is your special day. Happy birthday. Take care. Be safe. I just want to say this. Coach Hugh Jackson went above and beyond. If you are looking to book somebody on Cameo, he hit it out of the ballpark. Thank you, coach. Wow, that is stunning. Thank you on behalf of Kate and on behalf of my family. You speak for Kate. Hugh Jackson, wishing her happy birthday is one of the best things that's ever happened to me. And it's all about me.

As Hugh Jackson said. As Hugh Jackson said. Wow. What did you tell Hugh to say? You want me to read it? Yeah. Wow. I was up late last night. That was phenomenal. Hugh turned that around in a night? That's another thing about Hugh Jackson. He is quick with the cameos. So if you need Hugh for your birthday party, your bot mitzvah, whatever it might be, he's going to turn it around quick. this is what I said to Hugh Jackson for Kate it's a birthday coach thanks a B day wish Thursday

for Kate Nudge him without telling him to hurry up we were hoping you could wish her a happy B day and thank her for supporting the important work that her husband does he influences so many and she's the force behind him and he hit it out of the ballpark so big thank you to him Jackson and thank you to me Kate

I mean that's that was what 60 seconds or so he just busted his ass dude to deliver a product and we appreciate you Hugh that's amazing friend of the program you didn't even know you're a friend of the program maybe you'd like to come on the program sometime proper thank you coach thank you coach thank you coach for your question coach today we have scott van pelt scott big star big star listen you know who scott van pelt is but i knew scott i knew scott van pelt before he was a big star and this isn't me name dropping he's actually a friend i love scott van pelt i used to go down to the Super Bowl and me, Steve, him, and Ryan hit it off.

Who? Yeah. Ryan Rissillo. Oh. So we hit it off big time and hung out a couple nights and Scott's always been really supportive of me doing this and I appreciate him for that because I think if we ever get to a point where we're actually successful here, I'll be like, yeah, that guy helped me along. As well as, I mean, everybody knows Ryan's like a big brother of me with the pod.

stuff, but Scott has been kind of behind the scenes also really helpful. That whole trio has been like my pod uncle, so I appreciate them. Scott's going to be on today. We're going to talk about his show. We're going to bounce around, talk about Coach Kay. We're going to talk about Maryland UVA lacrosse. Obviously, there's a rivalry there. We'll see what he says about that rivalry.

And maybe some airport stuff. A lot of stuff with Scott. He's rangy. He's tall. He's rangery. He can make plays everywhere. Who are you going to say hello to? Hello.

Oh, Casper Wyoming. Wasn't a lot about Casper online. Is that a tryhard city? No, not at all. Not the idea. Not a trihard city, but the name, the name is so cool. The name is like the coolest name I've ever heard of a city. Casper, Wyoming?

No, it's super cool. It's super cool. But then the Cheneas are from there. Oh, is that right? Yeah, the Cheney's. When you look for like famous people, there's a guy that threw a perfect game one time and the Cheney's. Who hasn't thrown a perfect game?

You know, these days. Yeah, well, I mean, Dick Cheney didn't throw a perfect game. Wyoming, my only experience with it, obviously we've talked about this before, is like seeing God on a football field. You're so tired in Laramie. I assume the altitude's high in Casper as well. And I love this one because it's ambitious. I mean, hey, if nobody's listening in Casper, nobody's going to know it. But if somebody is, we're going to feel pretty good about ourselves.

Yeah, we're batting about 1,000, which is wild to think about. What was the most surprising one? Fort Smith, R. They are bumping that shit down in Fort Smith. Shout out to Fort Smith as well. Reed. Hey, Kate, just wanted to wish you a very happy birthday. Hope you have an amazing day.

And one more thing. After further review, looks like Chris said it first today. So that was Dean Landino wishing Kate a happy birthday. We're just going to keep this going through the whole show. You're a mastermind. And we didn't even plan. I tried to plant the first happy birthday, which was untrue. I lied.

I lied. You did lie. Thanks for coming clean. See what I mean, folks? And yet, well, shoot, Dean Blandino, you think I'm going to lie in front of him? No, he can tell from the booth. He can tell that you were second. Wow.

Do you remember a couple months back when I wished your lovely wife, Meg, a happy birthday. First on the pod. You think I remember that? Layup line. line down a hundred that you could tell up this real. What did we have? We have, can I live by the locks? And you probably have never listened to the locks, but we did

have Jada Kiss and Stiles P represented in layup line with we're going to make it, we're going to make it. And I feel like this podcast were a lot like the locks. I don't know who's Sheek, I don't know who's Jada, I don't know who's Stiles P, but it's a trio, and I feel like you mean Reed.

We kind of embody all that hardcore spirit that the locks brought to the table. Though I understood very few those words. I couldn't agree more about the trio. I'd like to be Jada kiss. I bet you would like to be Jada Kish. I don't really. I don't know. People at home who know the locks, let us know who's Jada, who's Stiles, and who's Sheik on this on this podcast. This is theater, a theater report here. Train Spotting. Finally saw it. You ever seen train spotting? No, but when I go searching for movies and stuff that I like, that always pops up. I don't know why I haven't seen it. It's always there. It's

always there. It's highly rated. It's critically acclaimed. It's a 90s movie. I love 90s movies. I think the 90s has the most underrated decade of like movies as far as like just the vibe. And I'm not talking about big box office hits. I'm talking about

culty movies like Go. If you've ever seen Go. Train spotting is a must watch. It's a must watch for anybody who does not want to do heroin. And I count myself in that. No spoilers. Yeah, well the only spoiler is that like your your appetite will be spoiled watching this movie it's the dirtiest movie i've ever seen

like reed you've seen it right yeah it is a gross movie i watched it in college go dukes by the way huh go dukes you ever do heroin no i would not entertain that coincidence i i think not i mean like you watch this movie you're not going to want to do it you know to my point earlier there's one scene in particular if you know this movie called the dirtiest toilet in scotland i think which is literally I was dumbfounded how grossed out I became watching it

it's not a movie that you eat while watching and it's also not a movie that Edinburgh should be real happy about the city of Edinburgh that it's set in I feel like they could sue that director for damages

because me little old American never been to Edinburgh probably not going now not going to make that trip not going to make that trip those motherfuckers are crazy in Edinburgh

the Beatles parallels are cool did you ever catch the Beatles parallels in that thing. There's one scene. There's the Abbey Road scene. It's very overt. And then there's, I think there might be a little bit of a hidden theme with, there's four of them, right? And they're all different Beatles. Yeah. I just know there was one guy that was an asshole and had a hitting problem. And I think I know which beetle that was. And then there was an under underappreciated guy. Like, I just feel, I feel like the Reddit has the answers, but there was a lot of Beatles stuff.

A lot of beavel. And as a budding Beatles fan, late in life, I'm finally coming around on it. I thought it was interesting. Aren't we supposed to call it Edinburgh? I don't know, man. Maybe the locals call it that. But I didn't hear anybody call it that in the movie.

Train spotting is great. I should have seen it earlier. Read, one more. Kate! What is going on? Robert Frank, here with you, because I heard it is your birthday. And no, I didn't hear it was your birthday from Buddy.

Okay, your husband. No, not Buddy. Buddy didn't reach out to me. Buddy didn't slide in my DM. Buddy didn't email me and tell Buddy to take off those fucking tacky pants because he's probably wearing him right now. Get this man a gym membership. Okay?

At 6'4, he should be at least 260. He's got 100 pounds again. Tell Buddy to get his shit together. have a great fucking day let's go that's Robert Frank he's famous on the internet

for lifting weights and yelling in the morning on the way to the gym presumably he yells about all types of things and he's great another great cameo product there I was like up late spending you know my kids college fund

on cameo videos what did you think when I walked up here in khaki pants today nothing I just didn't even think about it because I knew you'd be wearing khaki pants so it would be fucking meta, somehow meta. This is V funny. This is when I wish I had that good laugh.

And you because you know it's funny, but you just can't laugh. This was a good bit. You're in the Matrix. It was a good bit. That's, it's over. Well, I did the big, I did the big breathy thing. That's my big laugh. So Robert Frank, you got to look him up.

I knew you wouldn't know who he was, but he's perfect for you as you kind of transition into this fitness stage of your life. Good, bad, and ugly. We had a long weekend. you know obviously Memorial Day serious deal you know I hope everybody

took some time to reflect but also I hope everybody had time to hang out with friends and drink beer and all the stuff that you should be able to do that's what that weekend's about it's about people

and it's about reflecting and I hope you did a little bit of everything I'm just going to rattle off some goods oh good yeah I got a few goods number one Billy football graduated oh good for half

where did he graduate from I'm not sure but they they gave him a diploma and my man worked his ass off for four years, uh, including the last year with the pandemic. Uh, and he had to deal with PFT and Big Cat's shit for four years and got a degree at the same time.

That's pretty impressive. Big shout out of Billy football. Number two, went tubing myself. I went tubing. It was cold this weekend. I went tubing. I just had to do it. So we're on the board.

One tubing trip down this weekend. Uh, another good. We got a severe thunderstorm. watch right now. We both love severe thunderstorms in summer. I said severe thunderstorm watch and I think we both said oh nice and then you said can we say that like as if that would have been somebody. I mean golly. I mean these days. Hey, I like severe thunderstorms. Next thing you know there's going to be like the uh my uncle. Yeah. My uncle was 92 was killed by a severe thunderstorm. And there's somebody out there that knows somebody was hit by lightning and to you I would say I'm sorry. But

I love severe thunderstorms. In fact, I was hit by lightning. You were. I like talk about it a lot. When? I don't like talking about it a lot. Okay. I was on James River.

Tubing. A few years ago, by that I mean, a decade ago, you black out, you're on the back stage. It starts, you know, severe thunderstorming like only it can in July and in Charlottesville. And lightning hit the river, not far from where we were. and I felt like I was in a bathtub and somebody put a toaster in a small toaster.

Did you feel like that because you don't know what that feels like? No, but I would have mad at it. It was a shock that went through my body that hurt.

You're being for serious? I'm being for serious. It hit the water close enough that your boy felt like an electric eel. Wow. For moments

until I scurried off the river and like into somebody I didn't know his car. Like I just busted in their car. It was on the side of the river. So yeah, I'm into severe.

Thunderstorm Watches and I too have survived. I'm a survivor. Lightning survivor. Also quickly, Dr. Frank, new restaurant in Seville. Try it out. It's good. What kind of fare?

A little French cuisine. I'm really bad at answering that question. What kind of food do they have? Chicken. Yeah. But this place, French cuisine. Okay. Very good.

And I know that some people are probably like, it's Dr. Frank, but they called, like I expected that they picked up the phone and somebody was like, Dr. Frank. I was like, oh, much better. I got the foie gras. The foie gras.

You ever had the foie gras and roof Chris, Pwock City? Pwock City. Roos Chris, pock city. His brain's broken today. Rous Chris, pock city.

His brain's broken today. I can see the wheels turning. Am I right? Yeah. Hey, I got some good for you. Okay. Oatmeal.

As I begin this journey into. bolt town. I'm into the oatmeal, man. It's delicious. Yeah? You ever try overnight oats? I've heard you and somebody else talk about this thing, but no. Sometimes I like to let them digest overnight.

If I get stoned tonight, I eat them at like 11 o'clock overnight oats. Oh, that's what people mean. You just eat them before you go to bed? Yeah, that's what they mean. Huh. Okay. Try it sometime. I like the routine.

I like, I like, uh, it's like, this is the test of Reed's listening because he, He didn't even react when I said the stupid shit I just said. It sounded like all other stuff to me. Oh, I mean, what's dumber than me is you believing that you eat them at night and that's why they call them overnight oaths. Oh, I really did believe it. Yeah, you did. So what's overnight oaks? I was making a self-deprecating joke about the munchies.

Overnight oats are like they soak oats overnight in some sort of milk substance. In my defense, that's what I thought. Yeah, well, you're very smart. Yeah, thank you. Happy birthday, Kate, I love you. Kate, what's going down? It's the big baller, baby. That's right, Jameson reached out to the big ball and told me that it's going down.

Gonna be your B-Day! First of all, I'd like to say, congratulations on your B-day. I hear you married to a big baller. That's right. And he in the gym trying to get swore! That's how you got to do it, man. He got to be right and tight for you. But, hey, Kate, you go out there and have a blessed day with the family and friends,

and I know you're doing your thing. Because, hey, what I say about Triple B's, family is everything. and Big Bole of Brand is in the building and you know how we do this. I love your style. But keep everything right and tight, girl. Go out there and have a blessed day with the family and friends.

And everybody's behind you. We love you. Triple Bees, baby. The fuck, LeVar Ball. This man. Listen to the whole LeVar Ball one. It felt like he went real family-oriented at the end. He just was like,

keep it tight, Kate. I'm behind you. Mind your own, LeVar. But, and thank you, just the same. It was very kind of you. I came away from that until the last five, seven seconds, seeing your face. I came away thinking, what a nice cameo by LeVar. Right.

Speaking of cameos, LeVar's been out of the spotlight here for a while. He's really just making... He's making money on these cameos. Dean Blandino, the guy I've never heard of. Lovar Ball, you must have spent off words of $45 on this little thing. Oh, you don't know cameo, do you? Hey, the bad this week.

And I love how you were just about to try to wish Kate a happy birthday and read, hit the clicker and threw on the bar ball. It's terrific read. Yes, well done. Great timing. The bad. Okay, we just did the good, the bad. Trading in my truck.

I had to trade in my FJ cruiser. I didn't have to, but I'm trying to simplify my life a little bit, yeah? Yeah. I'm not driving enough. I'm not talking about my, my, my, my, my, my, FJ 60, which is in 1990. I'm getting buried in it, hands on the wheels, like a fucking, like a t-shirt that you buy at the beach, like, you know, a skeleton with their hands on the wheels, like in the hair blowing in the wind in a convertible. No, that's me and my FJ 62.

My FJ cruiser, which is like the bubble, it's like a 2014. I bought it before the Philly year. So I got delivered like the first week of the season in, Philly a lot of great memories from driving to work every day that really special year to being forced to take Michael Bennett home every day because he refused to buy an Uber to you know camping in that thing like when you give away a car even if it's only been with you for four years it is hard and that's still a great looking truck I just am not using it enough so I traded it in for another one Michael Bennett didn't have his own car Michael Bennett had like a rental car

and decided not to drive it to work very much because traffic I guess and parking can be overwhelming in center city Philadelphia and can you just call anything a truck it doesn't need to have a flat bed in back no I think anything yeah yeah sure is my redacted a truck no it's an SUV and your bubbly thing is a truck yeah I mean you can tell about looking at it okay and third no offense I think you have a great taste didn't care for that one that's okay because now I have a 2003 Ford excursion that's awesome happy birthday to my lovely wife Kate. Oh. Hey, Kate, this is Howie Long. I wanted to wish you a happy birthday. The Long family is really glad you were born. Have a great day. I was able to circumvent. Is that the word,

a cameo there? I didn't have spent a single dollar on a, thank God I didn't, because he sure didn't fucking give me much. Did he know who the Kate was? Yeah, but I told him the bit. And I think he like followed along with the bit. Well, credit to my dad for answering my text at 1230 in the morning and then following through the next day. He liked me as a night owl. So keep wishing Kate a happy birthday. You're just digging yourself a bigger hole. I would just stop now because the bit's over.

I couldn't spend it. You said that once before, though. Yeah, well, it's over for real now. The excursion feels like 2003. It just does. And I might just ride around to that motherfucker as much as I can. That might be the, uh, the daily rider. What color?

It's like a green. It's not the two-tone olive. It's a different green. Well, I just look for the one with the lowest miles. Bad Boy has 120,000 miles on it. New car smell. Where did it originate? Harrisonburg. Go Dukes. By the way, Cowboy Reed. You want to shout out the JMU softball team that you were screaming about downstairs? Yeah, we were screaming about it. JMU softball 4-3 over number one-seated Oklahoma. Congratulations. We have enough class to congratulate the Dukes when they do something great. Right.

And that's where I got my excursion, Harrisonburg. So shout out to Dukes. Now the ugly, you got any ugly or bad real quick before we wrap this thing up? Okay, bad. Are we ever actually going to get into a gymnasium together? Because it's hard enough like getting into this podcast studio at the same time with our busy schedules. I floated you some time yesterday. Yeah, you float.

You were like, hey, I'm about to go work out, which that's going to be a tough one. I know, I know, I know. We just need to really kind of sit down and map some time out. I came to a realization, and I hope I'm wrong, that your mentorship of me in the gym is going to begin and end with the 100 push-ups at your home. Just in perpetuity. Yeah. And we're never actually going to get in the same space. I'm just the guy on the Apple helpline that's like, let me pass you to another representative.

But have you tried unplugging the phone? Right. My dad, the other, we have a weekly Zoom. I know some folks are coming out of the pandi. We're going to stay in the pandi here for a little while. And he said, hey, Max, he said, you and Chris started working out. And I was like, well, he kind of said I needed to do 100 pushups a day for a couple weeks just to create a bit of a baseline before we actually started.

And then he said something to the effect of, oh, well, so how? And then I said, yeah, I don't think it's going to work out either. But I'm hopeful. Ugly for me, and we're going to lift next week. Bet your bottom dollar. Okay. The ugly for me is the Knicks. Okay, like it's already over, dude.

It's already over. It's like, RIP. It was over in the blink of an eye. And the only solace I can take is that they're not a West Coast team. Because if they're a West Coast team, there's zero chance I'd be waiting up to one in the morning to watch a professional basketball team look like they're playing 2K on hard. I mean, they were missing shots the last couple games that were just like,

dude, do you guys play offense? You should hire an offensive coordinator is what you should do. There should be the first offensive coordinator in NBA history. Makes the regular season all the more fucking surprising. They're not very good. Right? Am I right? They're not very good.

I wasn't. I knew what to, I knew. I kind of knew what to expect. I thought we'd win that series. Credit to me. I did not. Yeah, good. Credit to you.

Big ups to you. The Homer and me, was like, all right, we're back. We're going to win one series and then get bounced, but no. And you know what? I'm okay because this just kept me involved. This kept me like in the game. Kept you or got you back. It got me back. But by keep, I mean, in my lifetime, because, you know, if it had been another five years of the last five, it would have been tough. So you know what? Something to build on. Hire an O.C. Get, do you think LeBron needs some help? Julius Randall needs some help.

Yeah. Guys all alone there, huh? It's a joke, guys. I know he didn't play well in this series. By the way, LeBron walking off the floor. What did you think about that? I can't believe how the guy gets a pass. I feel like, and you

know me, I love LeBron as a humanitarian, a player, and it seems to be a great guy. But I do feel like every blue check is so fucking afraid of him. I feel like every, I feel like every

Blue Check thinks that if they just continue to never criticize him, and I'm not obviously like somebody's listening and being like literally LeBron is one of the most criticized athletes on the planet. Yes, I'm talking about LeBron is the rare polarizing athlete that there's just no in between. Well, I guess I'm in between because I love and respect his game and seems like a great guy, but I'm not going to go to the wall to him to defend him if he just walks off the court. Like, because he needs treatment. I get that. But like if that's not a regular occurrence in the NBA, then people are going to look at it. ways. But with LeBron, these blue checks, it's like they're afraid, they think they're going to be

friends with him one day or something. Like if I just don't criticize him my entire existence, he'll be friends with me one day. And I'm not talking about the people that are total assholes or racist that turn LeBron in some lightning rod because he speaks out on issues. I'm talking about just regular like media folks that would skewer KD if he did that. but he needed to start treatment as soon as possible. And I guess that's the thing that's like, well, can't really question that because it's an injury. No one's questioning his injury.

I'm not a lot of people. I am. I'm not going to go that far because I'm an athlete and I feel, no offense, but I just know like my number one thing. Well, actually, like when I asked my dad, like what are some keys to be in the media when I got in it? Like, what are your rules?

And you'll hear this from some guys. Like I don't make it personal. I don't question people's injury. Okay. And to be fair, I'm not questioning an injury. I'm a question the timing of the treatment. Yeah. And I just think it's funny to see people like, oh, God, do I tweet? Do I like literally people will tweet about the color of the stanchion.

People will tweet about the guy in the fourth row. People will tweet about a hand check in the third quarter that's inconsequential. But they were like dead silent when LeBron walked off the court. I just think it's funny. and if it were anybody else they'd be getting toasted. One topic that we want to hit before we get to Scott, this thing's going to develop and it has to develop and there has to be more that comes out

because I think we both turned ourselves on this race-norming thing in the NFL when it came to concussion settlements. I think we turned to each other, and you literally said to me when we first talked about it a few minutes ago, why is this not a bigger deal? And that's the same thing I was feeling. Yeah. So this thing's delicate.

The facts are coming out, We got to talk about it. And I'm bad at laying stuff out. We know that. I'm going to read two paragraphs from the Washington Post article on race norming in the NFL. It's an article written by Will Hobson in the Washington Post. NFL says it will end controversial race norming and concussion settlement with players. Here are the first two paragraphs.

The NFL and the lead attorney for about 20,000 former players on Wednesday. Both promised end race norming, a controversial practice that curves black players, cognitive test scores with data. That assumes a lower level of function as part of the payout process in the $1 billion-plus dollar settlement of class action concussion litigation against the league. The statements from the NFL and attorney Chris Seeger came as the practice of race-norming in the settlement payout process first brought to public attention last year in a lawsuit by two former players has drawn heightened scrutiny in the courts and media.

Listen, this shit is complicated and that might scare some people off about talking about it they're analyzing it and I could butcher some things again. I'm not the Washington Post, but I'm going to give you my take. So there will be more on this, but the ABC News, ABC Nightly News did a thing on this developing story with the NFL, which is that through a practice called race norming, these neuropsychologists were effectively at the direction of the NFL denying black players funds when they, they met the criteria to receive them after football. Pretty shocking stuff even for America.

When you consider the NFL, whose defense is largely while other corporations use race normie, and let me explain what that is, it's basically that you kind of set this expectation based on demographics that include race. They're using this baseline to determine somebody's cognitive function. In their toolbox, NFL doctors or neuropsychologists

have been encouraged to use this set of tools that includes like, hey, we're gonna set the baseline on black players lower. They're using it to measure cognition, which is overtly racist, but also it's systemic racism. And Najee Davenport says it, I mean, it's systemic racism in its simplest, most textbook form. And the judge in his settlement case

doesn't help things at all by dismissing it. You're using this bogus standard that's really, really fucked up to determine who gets funds. And obviously there's no coincidence that black players are getting less funds than white players. And it's par for the course in America, like I said. And I guess I shouldn't be surprised. I mean, you got quarterbacks having to go play in Canada

in the late 80s, right? Warren Moon, you have quarterbacks being blackballed in the 2010s, Colin Kaepernick. You have hiring practices being called into question throughout the league's existence, minority hiring practices. I mean, the last few years has it reignited that debate on the Rooney Rule and its efficacy and how much the league is actually getting behind,

you know, making that work. While this to me seems like next level, the writing's on the wall and silly me for thinking that maybe the hubris knew like some bounds. I mean, it's just incredible that you could think that you could do this and just stave players off long enough, to get some cover and to just get people off your backs and then we're gonna go business as usual.

I mean, they're gonna have to fix it, but I don't know how you forget this. We're just like everywhere else. And the worst part about it is 70% of their workforce is black and their workforce has a platform, so they're fucked. It is so overtly racist that I feel like I miss something. I feel like I miss something. I'm like, yo, there must be a catch.

Yeah. And when you text your, your, buddies who play in the league and black dudes that you're like, do you have any experience with this? Do you know guys that they're not even like, and this is part of, you know, when you hear the word privilege, which gets thrown around a lot sometimes and it might annoy you to hear it, I mean, like, this is a fucking white privilege moment for me, man. Hey, listen. Holy smart. Listen, I've been a minority, you know, in D-line rooms for my entire career. Just when you think you're like, you're in a group that like we're all the same, man,

like we're all fighting for the same thing, position group players. I have maintained that there is not racism and how players are evaluated through the ranks positionally. With quarterback, they have a lot of work to do there still. And as recent as 30 years ago, we had very identifiable problems. Now they're more abstract. They're harder to put your finger on and to pin down. We know they're there. Listen, with this, it's like, it's all there. It's all there. And I spent 11 years in the NFL in locker rooms that were incredibly diverse. I talked about being a minority in D-Line room. And I thought it was great to be a part of something that more than other places in America. I'm not saying it's perfect, but more than other places in America were all the same.

And to hear that guys that I play with, and certain guys I know who are going through this on different levels, are getting fucked out of money because of the color of skin, I feel sick. And I feel sick that when I text my buddies, they're like, yep. And like the response is par for the course. They're tired because it's everywhere else in society, but the one place that you gave your life to, you give your blood, sweat, and tears to, and not everybody's rich like me after football. Guys can't get their money, that's crushing.

And you can't get your money on account of you being a black dude? Some of the smartest teammates I've ever had, if you put a room full of 100 of them, there be 50 white guys, 50 black guys. And if your cognitive functioning declines the exact same as your black teammate to a degree where you are owed funds, you get more than him. Well, you get it, and they,

don't. And here's the thing. Like there's plenty of smoke. And the craziest thing is on this ABC news thing. One of the guys that honed in on was this Christopher Seeger guy. He's an attorney that reped the players in the concussion settlement a few years ago that went for 800 mil. And now he's repping the players again. A couple months ago, he said there's no evidence of racial bias in the way that they administer the funds and this, that, and the third. A couple months later, oh yeah, not only is race norming wrong, we're going to get rid of it and we're going to go back through every claim. Like, how big of a 180 did you have to do there, buddy? I'm watching you on ABC and I'm sorry. You can say, like, he tried to turn it into this big like, I'm wrong and I'm like

just very, I missed it. I missed it. Guys like, well, how did you miss it? He's like, yeah, it's not important, but I missed it. That's what I took from that interview. Like, tell me how you miss that. How do you miss that? It's not like you had to dive deep for some data. You made 50 million on that deal. That firm made 50 million on that deal. So either it's the worst firm in the, fucking planet where you totally whizz by the race norming stuff. Like, it's quite literally right there. Or you're a bad guy. I don't know which one.

Like, but now you're representing the players again. And maybe I don't know enough about it. I invite somebody on here if they're going to have a real conversation, not the ABC Nightly News conversation. So if Christopher Seeger has a problem with, he can come on here and explain how the fuck he missed that. Because I have teammates that probably that ABC Nightly News deal wasn't enough.

And you're telling me that there was nothing a couple months ago, and now you're telling me there's something. And now you're telling me there's two outcomes. You got to believe me now. I screwed up. We're going to get rid of it, and it's wrong, and we're going to go back through all the claims, which is a lot of money, and I don't doubt it now because they're caught. And that's the thing that bothers me about corporations and the NFL is your sorry is not good enough for me if you just got caught and you're sorry.

You know, like, and guess who knew this was fucked up? ABC News went and got some emails. and by the way, you know doctors write detailed emails of all the people that write emails, they're on the ball with it. There's a bunch of emails and the resounding kind of feeling was that we're doing something wrong here

and nobody's stopping it. Quote, I don't think we have the freedom to choose if we do, apparently many of us have been doing it wrong. And here's what the NFL says. The NFL's excuses, race norming has used other places in society. That's for another discussion, but that is not a fucking good excuse. at all. And nor is a good excuse. This is simply a tool that we've given them. We haven't mandated that they use this tool, which is another thing they actually said. And my thing is like, that's false because you look at these emails. One of them says, my experience when clinicians deviate from the algorithm, race norming, there are multiple inquiries levied at them. That sounds like some like silencing shit. That sounds like some, like some movie shit. This is some mafia stuff.

that you have this way of doing things and you're telling them it's optional, even if it's insidious, and the doctor exercised the option and then you got people like fucking with you. Message sent. It's not me. It's not us. It's the neuropsychological community.

That's what the guy said. The guy basically backed the bus up over the neuropsychologists or psychiatrists or however you say it. I'm sorry. Obviously, in a twist of irony, I don't know how to say the word about the people that understand people's brains the best. Here's an example.

They did this study with over 40 different doctors. 85 black players is what it came down to. There was that group and they tested those players to see if they were eligible for benefits under the white guy standards. Well, guess what? 34 met the criteria out of the 85. When they were doing the race norming, 10 players. So there's a big difference here.

That's a lot of money left on the table. There's a lot of people who have not been given the care that they deserve or the financial compensation they deserve. And to make matters worse, in this same study, eight dudes with level two neurocognitive impairment, moderate and worsening dementia, none of them got anything when the correction was used. So eight dudes with dementia didn't get anything when the correction was used. They were actually given a level zero classification. So some of the guys that are on this ABC nightly news thing, they literally have dementia and can't get their money. A dude won $2 million from a doctor and then tried to take it to the NFL to cash it in and they appealed it.

They're nickel and diming the backbone of the league. And I got to say, again, it's the same feeling. We've recorded this whole thing and I'm like, fuck, is there something I don't know about this? It's so bad. Maybe I'm being naive. I'm just like, I can't believe that this would be something that I just don't believe it. And I am being naive. and that's me being privileged white guy.

It costs NFL more money. I think the NFL could do a lot better on a lot of stuff. And if this thing comes out, it's embarrassing. If this thing continues to develop and it's what it looks like, it's embarrassing. And it can't get glossed over. So we just had to say something about that because the fact that it's a complicated problem, it's a comp, well, it's not that complicated. I don't know how they missed it the first fucking go around.

But the fact that it's a problem that you have to read the fine, Trenton is not going to keep me from taking a swing at it. I'm sure if you're listening at home, there's five things we got wrong. But the gist of this thing is that there's systemic racism occurring when it comes to dudes who built the league, who built the league trying to get their money out of it. And we only saw a clip from the NFL spokesperson, Roger Goodell, but that clip was essentially the courts will figure it out. Maybe you said something better in his fuller answer, but I'd like to hear

boy this is wrong we'll fix this this needs to be fixed and i hope all those owners who are up there you know talking about we're for equality we're for justice and that sort of thing i i hope that you apply that same passion to trying to fix this problem because there's a lot of dudes that played this game that aren't getting paid like we got paid when we played or that didn't have the success that my dad had from that era you know fucking beat up my dad is physically god forbid he had like head trauma i mean he did but he's doing fine knock on wood but like there are dudes that gave their life to this thing and didn't get paid and didn't have a life after football do you know how much money my dad would have if it weren't for nfl fox on sunday he was a defensive player you're making a million

dollars that's a lot of money it's nothing to you know shake a stick at i'm not like listen i know a lot of people listening are probably like get fuck dude it's the 80s you're making a million dollars, but to be compensated for like the entertainment they provide for the demand, supply and demand guys, and then just in fairness, when before the NFL acknowledged that it's a dangerous game, these guys were not rich beyond their wildest dreams for having played it. A lot of guys end up broke, right? That's the old cliche. Well, the fall isn't as far as you think for some guys and to think that you're denying them when you have more money than God as a league,

it's the precedent that scares them. And this is the deal. And this is the double-edged sword of, it's a brutal game, it's a gladiator sport, that's why you love it, that's why I love it, that's why fans love it, that's why you can't get enough it. That's why you can't replace it when you retire.

There's nothing in life that will ever replace football, the feeling of fucking just vulnerability, thrill, your manhood's on the line like that's crazy dude and then you give your your mental health maybe to do it and then the league that's made money off you can't take their medicine on the other side of the coin which is that it's a brutal game there's a fucking paper trail you got to put people back together I'm fine with a game being dangerous and also this is not to say that I think I'm going to lose my mind or have CT or anything I've said this a million times and and this is also not not me feeding into something that we're all doomed or we're all going to lose our minds

but people react differently to head trauma. It manifests in different ways. We all got fucked up in the head, but not all of us show it, okay? For whatever reason, they're figuring that out. I just, the NFL has to own the other side of the coin, too. One side of the coin is we reap the benefits of people packing stadiums because they got a bloodlust. It's a brutal game.

It's a beautiful game and it's fun. Well, the other side of that coin is you've got to put people back together. And if you do that, I'm fine with how brutal that game is because we've opted in. and there will always be people that want to play football. But the NFL not taking care of the business on the back end is going to get them eventually. And the problem is that maybe it won't get them.

It should get them. It should get them, but it won't. And I'm not rude. I just want him to fucking fix it. I'm not like, I don't want to watch the world burn. I want dudes that played in the 90s and are sitting on like $200,000 in their bank account who played eight, 10 years with training camp that went 60 days

two spot to you know Oklahoma drills every day got shot up you had concussions and told to just get back out there fucking dudes getting knocked out and just dragged off the field like that's the arrow we're talking about here so if you're so old school and you love the game and you're a fan

you should feel the same way I feel about it and these are guys like you said without generational wealth but that piece should be irrelevant it should be equal It should be. Even if you're rich, you should be able to get yours because guess who's richer, the NFL? And the only time I ever see people

siding with the corporation, not the worker, is always when we're talking about the NFL. And a lot of times when we're talking about black athletes and race is central to this conversation. But without further ado, I mean, that's enough serious stuff. Let's talk to Scott Van Pelt for a little bit, shall we? SVP. SvP.

Of the SVPOD. Oh, I thought it was SVPOD. like we're overdosing on so much Scott Van Pelt because he's so ubiquitous. I could never OD on Scott Van Pelt. So we got Scott and this is amazing because he's never been on before. Scott, what's up, dude? Gentlemen, what do you know? We don't know much.

Macon was just complaining to a guy with a midnight sports center that he's tired. What's got you down? What's got you worn out? Four month old. Uh-huh. Well, plus a lovely white. with a birthday two days ago. So one of her gifts, among many, was consecutive nights in the guest bedroom alone. I got it. I got night duty. And two days later, I'm feeling it in a big way.

Scott, what time do you go to bed after your show? It depends. I mean, I've described it for years as like trying to land a plane. And what I mean by that is, imagine if you, in your playing days, imagine your game was at midnight. That's a bad example because the game lasts longer. But whatever it is you do, okay, imagine that you were going to do a podcast and you spent your entire day preparing to do it. And at midnight, you started to tape.

Well, at one, if you had a hard out at one, you wouldn't go to bed at 105, right? Like, because your focus, your energy, everything is geared towards that hour. And it's honestly, it's fascinating. Because like when the red light comes on, if I am tired and there's days, certainly am there's there's something about you know you're on you know you're

meant to sort of perform for that hour you can do it and then at 101 you're still wired so we're down here in DC now and the drive home is actually a little bit hypnotic because you know the DC area is something like you're driving along the the it's called the Clara Barton and it's just sort of this overgrown this overgrown road along the Potomac and there's there no people out there's just deer everywhere. And so it's just this dark, dark road. When the Sturgle Simpson album, like something new music like that, you just find yourself driving a hundred. Yeah, exactly. Not meant to drive 100 on it. But the long and the short of it is, it takes me a while to wind down. I'll come home.

And by the time I hit the pillow, it's probably three, three o'clock, is something like that. I feel like the people in D.C. and now I know the road you're talking about. It's a beautiful road. and you're kind of like, how the fuck is this right in the middle of Washington, D.C.? It's a pretty place. The only people on that road at that hour are you and like shady political people. Like, that's what I know from the movies. That's what I know from the movies. That they drive a lot alone at night along that road and you're the other guy.

So for me, when I played and you mentioned like night games, we hated that shit because, I mean, God forbid it was a road game. We're going to land at like 6 a.m. If we're in Arizona, I remember we played Arizona and we were in New England, it was brutal. And then your whole week is messed up, your whole sleep cycle, your whole like everything, but you do that every night. Not 6 a.m., but like, so have you just changed to like a night shift security guard? Well, I mean, kind of. I mean, you're whatever third shift, if you look at it that way.

But my wife is great in a lot of senses. Shout out to my wife. But in the morning, her deal is, look, I got this. morning stuff with kids and drop off and what have you. But then the cool thing about being the dad who's home during the day is, I mean, I do pick up my little guys and there's different times throughout the day and I'm home during the day. My guy, Charlie's pissed right now because I won't go downstairs and play dinosaurs with them, but I'm like, I have very important business to tend to here.

But it's cool because I'm present in a way that a lot of dads aren't during the day. And then I'm able to stick around until we have dinner together. and then I go in after we eat. And then you've got that night window kind of carved out. So, I mean, it works out well. I mean, we've done it long enough where we've figured out what the routine is. But I mean, to make in my heart, the four-month-old, like that that's right. He knows the exact same.

That noise the child makes is enough to. That is the noise. The other night, when she wasn't crying, I would have dreams. dreams that she was crying and wake up from that dream to see her soundly asleep. Yeah, dude. Until the 30 minutes later when she would wake me up again. Forgive my ignorance. Is this your first?

Yes. Okay. So my daughter was our first. And during that period of that horrific noise and the sleep cycle being completely shattered, I said on the record repeatedly, I'm never doing this again. But here's the thing. I was much older than most. I didn't get marriage until I was in my 40.

So I was started this dad game so much later than most. All of my habits were so ingrained that it took a lot. You know what I'm saying? It's harder. It's harder to wait until you're in your 30s. No doubt. I would know because you only do it one way. But I can tell by like my buddies who got baptized by fire at 20, 21, 22, 23,

or like even like standard 1980s dad age, like everybody was having kids at like 24 we're the first generation to be so stuck in our ways on average when we have kids it's quite interesting but what i'd say though is is now with three uh we we did it we hey congrats on the sex i get it we get it you guys have had enough of it we we have three and it's a lot but you you get through the that that and you feel useless especially as a guy because you can you feel like you can offer so little in the beginning, you know, you can't nurse the child. I'm sure you can get a bottle. But it's, I think you, for me anyway, it took me a while to really feel like there was this

connection. And then there's these aha moments, which it's every cliche in the book. But it's the greatest thing. And in our case, times three. So I have empathy for you, but it, I'm sure you've heard this. It gets better. Don't have too much empathy for him. He'll take it and run with it for like five miles. So wait, I got a, I got a real question for Scott. You're going to keep complaining about being a dad? No, I'm just going to say, I have noticed the dog. I have a Zoe rabbit at home. So you also have a dog.

And so quite the conversation. She and I have a couple of hours at night where we can work in a SVP. Number one pod for letting people know that we have dogs. So Scott, you talk about the new frontier, which is relatively new. If you like being the face I see where I'm like hitting my pen at night and I'm confused and I'm like, Oh, sports center is still on. And it's awesome. I mean, like, to me, what you guys have done has been amazing. And then also having Steve along for that ride with you is like really cool. But when I listen to SVPod, I feel like you guys might be having even more fun. I know it's a tough either or,

but is that the case? Sure. And it's, I've been honest about this. The, the most fun I've had in, in my time doing this was with Rosillo, having the bandwidth of that much. airtime to really get into nonsense, which is where I think we were always at our best. I mean, we were take guys because we actually watched games, unlike some people in media. And I think we were good in that. But where we were really good was being just talking about stuff. And Steve and I have a great friendship and connection, and he is in the thick of it with three young girls.

And a lot of the time it turns into dad life talking. know what it's about because you guys are great at this it's about relatable content it's about finding the lane that we're all in together i can't relate to being a great athlete or a world champion or any of that but i think we can all relate to when you fuck up at home and something you're supposed to do some basic thing and you manage to mangle it or just the whole dad life equation and trying to solve that riddle so yeah we have a blast doing that and and and steve i think is such and i know he comes on with you he's just such a great dude and such a, he's relatable in a lot of levels. And what's, what I love about him is he was Mr.

five star, you know, best athlete in Connecticut and played in the Rose Bowl and all that. But he, he doesn't ever hold that over my head or, you know, Riscilla and I would every now and then we start flexing about when we were pretty good high school athletes. Meanwhile, the guy on the other side of the glass is thinking, yeah, you dumb ass, I was, you know, Lou Holtz, Steve Spurrier recruited me. But he never, you know what I mean? He never, he never pulls that card. So, yeah, we have, we have a ton of fun. Like we're really lucky in the space we have at midnight on TV to kind of do what we want, but it's still way more rigid and way more structured than a podcast where, as you know,

you can say and do whatever the hell you want to do. So yeah. Yeah, and that's 20 times. As a verb. You can have a coughing fit. You can at 43 minutes of your last podcast, Stanford Steve dropped me a nugget said you guys were talking about Virginia Maryland. There was a little cross game earlier this week.

We were. We were. There was a quote. It said, I mean, there were just people we hated more. Hey, listen, congratulations of that lacrosse team, and congratulations to the stud who went to stab. Shellinger. He's awesome, man.

Stab, kid. Yeah, he's great. Freshman. Fleshman, got three more years of that, dude. Yeah, like, we feel like with Lars, we're back in the saddle here. I mean, great program. And Dom had, you know, a ton of great years as well. But to be able to rebound after you lose a guy like Dom is big.

That having been said, undefeated Maryland team, whale of a game. Like literally, if you don't like lacrosse and you watch that game, you're going to like it more than you did when you tuned in. I mean, there's no chance you don't at least respect the action on TV. It was awesome. And if you're having gone to Virginia, you know the sport. Obviously, a Maryland guy grew up watching it. It was wild. When I was young, it wasn't the cool guy's sport. I played baseball. But now lacrosse is massively popular here in all areas of high school. It wasn't, it used to be more of a Baltimore Severna Park, Annapolis, kind of a thing.

But anyway, the sport is really compelling, and more often than not, particularly these Memorial Day games are incredible. Like over the course of that weekend, the Virginia Carolina game was insane. Carolina was the one seed, and Virginia hangs on and wins by one goal, frantic finish. Maryland's unbeaten, and Virginia's got a big lead. And here comes Maryland fighting like madman, and they have, they win a face off. And if the kid scores, you, Marilyn would have tied it. at the gun.

Yeah. And Carolina Road made a save for Virginia and they win a title. And if you were a fan of sports, you don't even have to know what the fuck's going on, but you're watching that going, this is unbelievable. Just the tension and the excitement. It was a tremendous game and obviously a bummer for Maryland to lose it. But, I mean, Virginia played, they were better by and large. So it was a fun game to watch.

And you were very classy about it because, and I think part of this is true, but part of this is it feels good to say we don't hate Virginia. You know, on the pod the other day, listen, I mean there were just other people we hated more, which is fair. That's fair as fuck. Who are the people you hate more than Virginia? And when Maryland was in the ACC, well, it was always Duke and was Carolina first. Because Maryland is a basketball first school.

And I mean, look, I'm old enough to go back to when Maryland was kind of the power in the ACC, but that was the 70s, man. So they've gone through a lot of sort of incarnations on the football side of things. But, I mean, it wasn't like we had disdained or for Virginia as much as we're like, we're sort of the same as you. I think we felt like your school was better. We knew that. But Maryland had an advantage as it related to football and basketball on the all-time record list. And so you just, I think you have a tendency to look at the people that beat you more and hate them more.

And you look at Virginia and think, well, we kind of trade punches with them more than maybe. be some of these other teams. Does that make sense? Can I make a case for you hating us? Well, of course. I mean, you know, I mean, the last thing I remember about you is you nearly killed a man in the end zone in Burr's Day. Poly and Dynamite, Chris Turner. Shout out of Chris Turner. I have no idea where he is, but I never had anything against him. It was just, you almost murdered him in the end zone. Nothing against him. And that would have been a flag today. You're maybe. I don't know. It was a clear ejection, but it was the guards fault. He got beat. I split a double team and then the The guard pushed me into Chris Turner.

There's no way I've ever hit anybody that hard. Like, I don't have the athleticism or the power to do that. The guard assisted. He John Stocktoned by Malone into Chris Turner's jaw. Whatever you're doing right now as you listen to this, stop and go Google Chris, Chris Long, hits Chris Turner and watch. You need to see it because it is one of those, oh, God, I think he's dead. Yeah, you know what?

I did two for a second, but he's tough. He rolled over, grabbed his face mask, and adjusted. But the case I was going to make was since 1991, Maryland, we're 15 and 7 in football and 7 to the last date in basketball. So I'm saying, I'm just saying, Scott. That's great. And if you're old enough to predate 91, then you just say, all right, I got to blow some dust off these old numbers here. There's nothing worse than that either than the guy that hits you with the historic.

Like the Alabama fan that starts talking about the made up titles. You don't need to do that. You don't need to make up fake stuff. No, no, no. When you finish third in the SEC and you claim a title, you've got more recent stuff. Virginia does have recency. We don't get to play you anymore because we left the league, and that's a whole other story. We hated you because of football.

It was just like they're very, everything. I hated them because of football. Go ahead, make it. Go ahead. Now the floor is yours. Everything. I told Chris beforehand, I don't know if I could explain my hate trid respectfully. Don't be respectful.

Just say it. I don't care. I don't know you. It was mainly the people in the place that I couldn't stand. There you go. More than anything else. Okay. You thought we were northern rednecks, right?

Hillbillies. I just think of like burning dumpsters and like, yeah, it's unfair because every college in college town, Lord knows, I mean, Charlottesville in the last couple years hasn't looked great at times. But, you know, burning dumpsters, I think about steroids. I think about like dark-haired guys pumping their fists. Maybe I'm conflating the Jersey Shore. with the Eastern Shore. And by the way, I do want to say this. To be fair to Scott and his Maryland T-shirt, the fucking crash test dummy flag with those uniforms. Now the hatred's coming out.

Now the letting the hate flow through me. Here's the deal. Eastern Shore, Pac-Man eating sign over the Jersey Shore. So to be fair, I love the Eastern Shore. It changed my life when I went up there with DoDrop. And I got to say, you guys have got that thing going. I love your beaches. Okay, so in review, steroids, dark-haired dudes, dumpsters on fire, mostly the people in the place that you hate. And the crash test dummy uniforms. I mean, they're hideous. Somebody, like, do you really be honest? I hate to put you on the spot here, but the crash test dummy uniforms, when they go all out and go crash test dummy, you're good with that.

Maryland Pride, bro. People like the flag here. Stanford Steve hits me early on. I was like, bro. why do your state love the flag so much? And I said, it is an odd thing that we, that we, they've wrapped themselves up in this flag, which is I wore it just for you,

because when Maryland beat Virginia, as I reminded Steve on the pod, and you had to wear a Maryland jersey, you called it the worst thing that ever happened in your life, which I had to, I had to take a shower. I'd take 10 showers after I took that thing off. I had to get a steroid test, a hep C test, like the whole nine years.

yards. Anyways, what we should have done. No, no, no, not anyways. Just brush that off with anyways. I can get hepatitis from wearing a thing. Like, this is, this is, this is the root of it. There's a, and let's just be honest. You guys have an arrogance about who and what you are. Oh, I'm not the smartest guy in the world, Scott. So from this chair, maybe from this fucking galaxy brain got a, what did you get on the wonder lick? Forty-nine. I got a 49 in the wonder lick the other day. Did terrible. Let's add it up. I got a 49. Okay, he's smart. He wears a tie in Shady, where's a sport coat? You know me, Scott. I'm a little bit of like, you know, I'm not one of us when it comes to cliches, but I just found a way to hate Maryland. So it's not just the academics.

All right, well, then let's just cut to the chase. When I was younger, you weren't good enough for us to hate. Well, that's fine. And you guys were hovering in that, well, here's the way my hatred works. You know, a lot of people would say this, Scott, you should hate Virginia Tech. I don't hate Virginia Tech because they're actually, like, I respected them. The way like my, this is so backwards. You think? Because they were actually very good. Yeah, in one sport, though. I mean, the ebbs and flows.

They had lefty and Gary, but the, what are we talking about? The Ron Vanderlinden era? Man, I have no fucking clue who you're talking about. That was a football coach. Well, go back to Bobby Ross and Ralph Fridge. Ralph Fridge was pretty good when he was there. The fridge was great, and I heard a great story about Aaron Henderson used to tell a story about when he used to go into the fridge's office and he was in trouble. The fridge would just be drinking soup.

in the fridge, he would just, he would just drink the soup and the soup would just cascade down his like underarmor, you know, the thing that coach's jackets. By the way, I have under, under armor shorts on. It's a bit of like an olive branch to you. Can you just tell the mall, the mall shoes story because we should have bet something on this game. I've lost, I guess, a lot of bets to you before because I had to give you my mall shoes. What would the origin of that story for the people at home? Okay. Well, just so we've established that just the guy sitting to your right, my left on screen, views me with absolute disdain. He just doesn't like you the person.

I think it's, I love, no, I take back everything I said about your child from earlier. I hope she never sleeps and I hope she gets a rash. It isn't, that's not debilitating. No, not a debilitating rash, but one that's just causes discomfort and makes her wail. For everybody in the house for a day. And all those nights when it's you and your wife is sleeping peacefully. Because fuck you. How about that?

I'll put it in Maryland terms so you understand me. I bet you whatever ration is will look a lot like that state flag. There you go. This is great. This is great. Wait, the mall shoes. So it went like this. We were in New Orleans, right?

Yeah. We had, yeah, it feels like it. We were in New Orleans. I want to say it was definitely New Orleans. It's the only place I could take those shoes. And it was in advance of a national title game. I got there late. Stanford Steve had been drinking since morning.

And he has a gear that few possess. This is unrelated to the mall shoes, but it needs to be said. At some point, Steve fell down, which I've never in my time with him, seen him incapacitated to the point where he fell and Chris cited declining athleticism in Steve. I'm like, no, he's still pretty nimble. He just is drunk. His blood alcohol is 0.5. But Chris was wearing these horrendous sort of mock crocodileish leather sandaly mack crock. Jontz that I said, those are the most, I just called them out on his shoes.

I'm like, look at those things. They had like a monk strap. I don't know if it was, it wasn't an aggressive monk strap because everything about them was aggressive. The monk strap was not the main event. It was a singular monk strap. But these weren't shoes any man would wear with great pride. Unless you were a mobster and anybody that you know, like talk shit about your shoes, you kill them. Right. You have a Tommy gun on your person. They were bad shoes.

And I don't know what we bet, what game we bet on, but somehow that was the win. If I won, I got them. And the point that Chris made is these are not These are not like middle of the mall shoes. Shout out to Jody Highroller. These aren't middle of the mall shoes. These are upper deck, third level of the mall.

Like the good part of the mall store in St. Louis. In St. Louis. And they have, as I think we all know, making, they have great malls. Some of the best malls. For buying shoes in St. Louis. Why did I win them?

I don't know, but you were just so enamored with these shoes. You would talk about them. Yeah. And so you won them in a bet. you somehow you you negotiated mall shoes and you had them in your house for the better part of a decade and recently when you moved he sent me a picture and you said i regret to inform you i am being forced to throw out the mall shoes which i think that probably you were lying about being forced to throw them out i think it was one of those deals when i don't know how you guys operate

but for me i'm a i'm kind of an emotional hoarder right yeah i hang on to things that i have some tied to and those shoes meant a great deal to me and they just kind of and I say this because they lived on the floor of my closet and I'd look at me like look at these horrendous shoes and then when we moved it was time to say why do I have these it was time to say that 10 years earlier hey right but when you move you have to ask yourself do I wish to put this in a box and transport it to the next place that I live so that it can live on the floor there it is the it is the action of getting a shoe bag for them all shoes. It's just, it's too intentional. And I was afraid if I kept them on this move that we'd reach the point where I would then,

I would die. And at some point, they'd be going through my shit and say, wow, why did he ever have these shoes? Look at them. When did Dad buy these? Can you do me a favor and find me a picture at some point? Because I'm going to look back to try to find it, because we need the people at home to see and pair it with the audio. Sorry, I don't have a model number. I know you're going to be in love with these shoes, but I think they were one of a kind. I'll see if I can find it. It's one of those things that goes back through however many phones and pictures that were sent, but it might be in there. It might be in the last exchange. Keep in the archives. Coach K, man, you know, like you talked about hating Duke earlier, but you

seem to have a great reverence for Coach K. Is there a moment where you're like in your Maryland fandom? I love this guy, but I literally want him to disappear. He just ruined my weekend or he ruined my season. You remember one game? Well, one. I mean, I know the one. I'll say, I'll say this. When, when Maryland and Duke were going at it in 2001, 2002, uh, that's as good as it gets in college basketball. Jay Williams would tell you when he was at Duke, their primary arrival was Maryland because Carolina was down. And it was incredible basketball. Maryland played him in 2001 four times. And they had double digit leads in three different games that,

Maryland lost, and I was at every one of them. The one was in College Park. They had a 10-point lead in the last minute, and Jay Williams went crazy, lost that. The ACC tournament was an insane game where Nate James got a tip in, and then Juan Dixon had like a half-cord shot that would have won at the buzzer. It was dead online, but it missed, so they lost by two. And then the final four game was the one where Maryland had the huge lead in Minneapolis,

and then Duke came roaring back. That was the one where I think I wish, if I had a magic wand that would have made him go away, I would have, like a wizard, I would have pointed out. That. That, I would have done that because it was, it was, Maryland had never been in the final four. And they led like, I think it was 39 to 17 or whatever it was. It was a lot to not many. And Duke came back. And you just figured like, I hate these people and we can't beat them.

And the very next year, Maryland ended up winning the. the title. And I think you guys can relate because when you won and the way you all won was so incredible. Like go back to that. That Purdue game is impossible. The Auburn game is impossible. All of them. All of them. Three times. But when you win and you're, I joked about this with Steve on the pod and you all can relate with your disdain from Maryland. I said we were like the guy on the outside of the club and the shitty jeans and the sneakers that they wouldn't let in the VIP, but then we got that, we got in and we're like, hey, we're in now and you can't get rid of us, you know? It was different. You all didn't, you all had much better clothes, but now you were in

the club. But when you get in, it kind of changes how you feel because now you don't feel like the rubs that didn't have the bona fides, right? Getting, winning changed it a little bit. But I know for a fact because I've had the opportunity to talk to Mike about it and Gary Williams, who was our coach at the time, that when they were going at it, there was enormous respect. And that's all you really wanted because Duke's fans would always chant not our rivals at Maryland. And that's what would piss us off. You know, we're not, you can't even be bothered to acknowledge that these games are actually pretty good. You know, that's where Maryland fans, steroids, dark here in Jersey, Long Island guys wanted to fly. fight.

Secrets, secrets. You guys all hang out at secrets down there. Anyways, we're on Duke. It's fine. It's fine. But Kay, and I mean this sincerely, and I did share this with him. I sent him a note to try to, he came on the radio and I'm a big believer in just by stationery, send people notes because no one does it.

And it just, it registers. If you take the time to tell someone thanks and it's not a text or an email, you just actually takes two minutes, write them a note. And I just explained that all of that, all of that over the top anger and rage that you guys deal with, it's all born out of a place that just wanted to beat the best. And that's what he is. That's what they are. And I mean that, sincerely.

And he was kind enough to write back, which I thought said a lot about him. But, I mean, he's the all-time. of our generation. It's interesting because now Tony, I think Tony and Jay Wright become the guys who have to step forward and be the guys. I said, Cowboy Reed,

what do we say in the, I said, I want to ask Scott now when something happens in college basketball and we need the paternal kind of moral compass guy for a quote, whatever you think about Duke, when Coach Kay speaks, everybody listens, who's now the guy?

And I was saying probably to not be a huge homer, probably Jay Wright, but Tony's in that conversation too. Without question. Just go back and look. I've never been. Never been. I'm asking, I'm trying to run through my head and say,

never is a mighty long time. I've never been more impressed with the coach than I was with Tony after they lost to UMBC because he stood there and he took it, not with any excuses, but with a look on his face of just, he was bemused I couldn't believe it

but he answered it was such class and such dignity and I'll never forget the way he handled the most disappointing thing that could have ever happened to his team he was incredible in that moment and not a year later he gets to you know

he gets to enjoy the incredible redemption story what gets lost in the 2019 run to is that we were down 14 to another to Gardner Webb to another like stinker I mean just the first out of the gate

if that had happened twice we were not even here in this podcast no correct okay but but I wanted this because that is wild I forgot about it I know like the whole run I mean Oregon was ugly Oregon we won like it was a just

what do you call it a rock throwing deal rock fight rock fight yeah it was a rock fight I mean it was 46 to 45 in Vegas watching that bullshit I had to go upstairs during the Purdue game and start downing airplane bottles to get through the end of the game. I'm alone in my room at the wind.

Anyways, I was courtside. Yeah, you were courtside. Big fucking tail. So I would have rather been in Vegas, honestly. That was a good time. But with Duke, I just, I'm young enough where I don't remember Duke before they were Duke. You know, you remember like the beginning of Duke, but you don't remember Duke before they were Duke. And when you look back, they weren't Duke.

Now, they've never had to replace somebody iconic. C has had to do that in the past few years and have done it, well, in the relative past few years, have done it successfully, Dean Smith, to a guy who just retired again, so they have to start over. But with Duke, how confident are you? That's sustainable. Just self-sustainable. We're Duke. We're going to get back to it. I'm not. And that's not a knock on John Shire. I just don't, I mean, the presumption that you just carry on is a lot to So Scott's back. He had a power outage. There was a garbage slide in college park and took out a bunch of telephone poles.

Anybody injured? No, no one's injured. Nobody lives there. And M.Dot, hats off to M. Dot. They got it working again. All right, Scott. I mean, honest to God. We were talking about Coach K and how it's not going to be easy for them to get back to where they were. Right. The question was, is it's sustainable. And I think it's a hell of a presumption to make that you just carry on and are Duke because it says Duke on your uniform. I mean, last year, last year's a one-off. I think we all get that. It was challenging for so many different reasons. But, I mean, Duke and Kentucky had a ton of top 50 players and they weren't any good. So getting players is one thing. being able to coach a modern player, get them to buy in, blah, blah, blah. I mean, and actually, I don't think it is blah, blah, blah. I think getting them to be present for the time they're there, that can be a challenge.

That's what makes when I keep going back to when you guys want a title, but look at what it was. I mean, Hunter was a guy that was really good and elevated, but a tie Jerome, a player like that, I love players like that who stick around and get better and you get to know them. those are the most fun teams to root for. Kentucky made one and done what you had to do. Duke mocked them for years. Duke fans love to look down, they love to look down their nose at everybody,

but Kentucky and the one and done, well, we'd never do that until you did. And they did it well. Well, yes and no, they did it well. Look at Zion. He didn't make a final four. Yeah. Well, they still got a championship.

What I'm saying is he's had teams that he's coached guys for four years, and then he's won a title the other way too, which is pretty impressive. Understood. But honestly, what's most interesting to me, gentlemen, about Carolina and Duke is that they both replace generational all-time types of coaches

with alums and Hubert Davis, who I know and adore, and John Shire. And if you'd have the conversation five years ago, who's going to replace Mike Shoevsky and Roy Williams, I promise you the answers weren't Hubert Davis and John Shire. Is that not because it's too hard to follow a legend and you're not going to attract the best coach? And so you hire the alum and if it doesn't work in three years, then you go get the big name.

This is Matt Doherty. I think it's because there's no obvious Brad Stevens in line to take it. He's in Boston and seems to be ingrained in that NBA life. I think Megan is just not an obvious candidate. Like, if you're Jay Wright, there's no reason to ever leave Villanova. You're a made guy. You've already got two. You're a legend there.

I mean, Tony, I think people tried to come at Tony. People thought maybe Wisconsin would be interested or whatever. And he'd be attractive as hell for the reasons we talked about earlier. He checks every box. But I think you get to Charlottesville, which is great, a great institution. You've won a title there. Why would you leave? Mark Fuse never leaving Spokane.

He's recruiting internationally. He's getting top five, top number one type players in Gonzaga. So I think it's less that what you're alluding to and more that there just isn't the obvious Nick Sabin to Alabama type candidate. The pool is pretty limited right now. Do you think he would have survived his first three years at Duke if he'd have started coaching now in the environment where like. No chance. No, Kay alluded to it today. He said, I wish for John Shire, you know, all the success.

And I just hope he has a better first three years because there's just, look at how it works. College football coaches sometimes get a year, maybe two. And football is so much harder as you. Well, no, you need a four-year cycle, maybe five, if you want to be honest, with a redshirt year to really implement your program. You get two years now in college football. And the impatience is such that people just run you. No one's patient. So no, no chance you get three years.

of that kind of level of not success. Is this the coach that makes you feel like, I don't know, it makes me feel old when I see like, you know, Coach K hang it up or Roy Williams or, you know, there's athletes that retire that you're like, what? How? Who's going to be the coach that's going to really, so it's already happened to you?

Without a doubt. When you start seeing sons of people. Yeah. that somebody so-and-so junior that you're like, wait a minute. And it'll happen with you. Like Whalen will be out there and somebody will go, oh, my God, I watch his dad. And it happens quickly. But it's more than that, Chris, it's just the notion that the sport, because I love college basketball.

And trying to replace Roy Williams, Mike Schohefsky, and I have to believe pretty soon, Jim Beehive, when his sons leave, what's left for him. That's one lead. And you're replacing all three who have won final four one titles, all have been to multiple final fours. That's a whole lot of curating and intellectual equity, however you want to frame it. That's just a lot to replace in a sport where frankly, the coaches are in many ways the biggest stars because they're the ones who stick around. You don't typically get great talent for more than a year or two in that sport. I wonder if these departures in the ACC might pave the way for a team. that wins the league every year.

Okay. All right. I just want to balance that with a compliment. I love Lonnie Baxter and Juan Dixon. Oh, for sure. Okay. Do you, Scott, hold a grudge against Jordan Williams at all for expediting? Some might say, Gary's departure?

No, I was, it was unfortunate for him because he sort of solicited input. I actually got criticized for that. He reached out and said, would you help me? gather intel and I said well sure I'm happy to help I mean I I wasn't in the middle it's just sort of the people I knew that had feedback about what they thought and shared it with him and the intel said you'd benefit from another year and he he did what a lot of young people do which is choose to come out early and he ended up going second round very early in the second round but the difference in the in the NBA is they're much more invested in you for in as a first round pick because you got

guaranteed money and they're going to try to make it work. And unfortunately, it didn't work out for him. I don't know. I hold nothing against him. I just, I'm just, I was sad that it didn't work out better. There's no guarantee that had he stayed, it would have. It's just that most of the feedback that he apparently got said you should stick around. But very often people in that situation are particularly interested in the feedback unless it's, hey, you should go and you're going to be a zillionaire. But I know Gary had, he just had no stomach for having. having to kiss the rings in the AAU world. He was like, I want a title.

I'm supposed to kiss your ring? No, no, no. You're supposed to kiss the house. And that's just not the, that's not the way that that exchange goes. And Gary just reached the end. I think honestly, Michigan State broke everyone's heart when they beat

Gravis at the buzzer in a round of 32 game. Because that was a year where Kansas had gotten beaten by Northern Iowa. And there was a path. That Maryland team was good. They won the ACC that year. over Duke and John Scheier, interestingly enough. But I just think coaches reach a point in, I think it happened with Roy, where you just look around and go, man, I don't, half my team's in a transfer portal.

Why am I doing this? I think that's what, you know, like a source close to K, and I would believe this. I mean, I'm sure he's not going to come out and say this because it would sully kind of the weekend that we've had, like reflecting on him because it is polarizing. But the game's changing, recruiting's changing. and you talked about kissing the ring. Same thing in football. I look at some of the recruits,

and I'm all for player autonomy. I'm for players getting paid. I'm for the likeness thing, so we don't need to go down that rabbit hole. But I do think there is a cultural change that's happening with kind of like the coaches don't hold as much power anymore. It's obvious. And Kay made a point, at least through a source,

that this probably expedited this process for him. He's also 74, you know? I think, at some point, you know, I would imagine if I get to that point, I'll have a better insight. But I guess you wake up and think, I prefer to do something else. That's what makes Saban mind-boggling to me. He's getting more handsome and more fit as time goes on. I mean, you go back to some of those big old Coke model glasses at Michigan State.

And you're like, look at this guy. He's all brand new. It's that Tuscaloosa, Sunshine. almost there you go if you can wait a magic wand and maybe you have to answer this diplomatically because you're basically the the chancellor over there would you put maryland back in the aces no because i'll always miss what i grew up with for sure i mean the aces and maryland was a charter member in that league but and i don't mean this disrespectfully to the schools i'm about to mention but Boston College, Virginia Tech, Miami, Pittsburgh, Syracuse, that's the Big East.

That's not the ACC. So if you're in the ACC now, you're more than half your games, Notre Dame, Louisville, these people aren't ACC schools. If you want to take it back to when it was the core, Tobacco Road, and then the Yankee schools, you guys and us. Raycom Sports. There you go. Jeffers sail with the pilot. Come on. Doc Walker.

Sure. Sure, I miss that. But Christ, that's like saying I miss, you know, watching happy days in 1979. That's a long time ago. I miss a noon game, you know, with Doc on the ones and twos. I was wondering because Coach K with him departing, a lot of these coaches that probably you grew up watching for sure and probably were excited to interview at times after games, they're coming and going and Coach K is one of them. You know, Roy Williams, Beehive, maybe eventually. who's a guy, one, that you're going to miss talking to after games that's not gone yet,

and two, if Scott Van Pelt could interview any coach, any era on your Midnight Sports Center, who would that be? You need a time machine, maybe. People that exist more in my mind, like a Lombardi, I mean, just the notion of him. I've created this almost comic book character persona for this man, but ultimately he's just a man coach involved. You know, I've said this line a zillion times. I truly mean it. I think you guys are great at this. My dad's line to me was treat normal people like superstars and treat superstars like normal people. And it becomes a lot easier as an older guy to do it with younger people. But if I talk

to Lombardi via time machine, it would be difficult for me as a middle-aged man not to be almost like a kid. Does that make sense? Yeah. I think if, I mean, if I I talked to Bear Bryant or, you know, somebody like that. I actually, when I was a very little kid, I met John Wooden. And he was incredibly gracious to me and the kids that were at this event. And this is a bizarre story. I was covering an event at Sherwood Forest out in California where Tiger was, and I looked up one day, and there was just a lone man standing by himself. And it was John Wooden. And he was just standing there by himself. And I wonder when I said, Mr. Wooden, and he couldn't have been nicer.

And then the next guy that comes, like, up the fairway playing golf was Kenny G. Has anyone ever told us to where they talked to John Wooden and Kenny G. And a two-minute span? I mean, it was like. And the guy playing is Kenny G. Kenny G. was playing golf. Or Kenny G. was outside the ropes watching the golf.

Whatever the hell happened. It was Kenny G. and John Wooden in a five-minute span. And they were both really nice. Kenny G on LeBichard is awesome by the way Oh man I would love to have Kenny G on this show We got to put them on our dream list of guests That's one of the mailbag questions in a little bit

Nice I want to do golf real quick Because we're trying to get into it And we watched the Masters this year Like millions of white Middle-aged Americans I know I think I deserve a Like some sort of a pin or something

Then my interest fell off a little bit With the Tour Championship I'll admit There was other stimulation that weekend But Phil Mickelson winning that thing you know on the same week that Derek rose is you know 30 point nights and feeling like the next number one option which isn't necessarily the best thing put into terms the Phil mickleson unexpected kind of rejuvenated run that happened a few weeks ago like help me understand

in another sport what that would be there isn't one he's 50 years old there's no comparison there's no sport where a 50 year old can be 30 years old's, 20-year-olds, there's none except that. And here's what I sincerely admire about him. He has dedicated himself, and this happens to everybody, I think, as time marches on, you recognize what has to happen for you to maintain relevance, and you figure out how, what do I have to do to be relevant? And in his case, he dedicated himself to kind of reinventing his body, and he's continued to work hard at it. And what I admire is this, Chris,

people that are enormously successful and really well compensated, the only way that you can be hungry is if you sincerely are. And someone who's well-fed, I don't know how you stay hungry. And Phil has been literally and metaphorically well-fed for decades. So the idea, the idea that at 50, very nearly 51, he could go to Kiowa and win the PGA championship on a course where Dustin Johnson, who's the world's number one player, didn't even make the cut. I mean, that's bad ass stuff, man. And there is no comparison. There's no sport where you could do what Phil did. And what was really

interesting to me is when it was done, he admitted, like maybe this is the last tournament I went. He recognized after the fact. And it happened to Tiger and Augusta. It's like, this holy shit i won and and each of those guys is multiple major champions but there was this epiphany after the fact like i can't believe i won and because it takes an incredible confluence of events for you to do it and and he did so i mean it was you know it was well received i think i think you know phil's got a lot of a lot of equity with young guys they get a kick out of him he's a different sort of cat he's he's on a social media talking and shit to everybody.

Him and Brady with the match. I mean, those guys are like the, they're like the perfect pairing for that because each of them is eccentric. Each of them's got a pretty big footprint in social media. They're not afraid to mix it up. So I don't know.

I think it was a well-received and popular way. And certainly from the tens of thousands of people storming the green on 18 and everywhere else. Yeah, it felt good. It felt like that weekend in particular felt like sports. We had your boy Wojohn, and he was amazing. And he said, and he put it perfectly, that weekend it felt like they turned a faucet on.

and whether it was the garden or whether it was the tour championship is that what they're calling it? PG. So I'm not, you know, it's in a bit. You know, like I'm not going to pretend like I know a sport I don't,

which has served me well so far. No, you don't need to talk to me about like the corn fairy tour. It's okay. Yeah, no, I mean, there were some dog leg lefts out there that were tough. Hey, so Scott, where are you on the match thing? It's like Amher.

porn. If you want to, like, these people aren't professional, what are they even doing? Why am I watching this? Well, because it's the believability factor. That's why people like amateur porn, Scott, but go on. I get, I, let's, I don't even understand how to find it. Yeah, me neither. No, but what I, what I, what, here's what I'd say.

I'm, I'm spoiled from decades of covering the best in the world playing majors. Like, I mean, there's, there's a certain level of fun watching a, you know, a Steph Curry or somebody else step outside. So, Tom Brady, step outside their comfort zone. Because Aaron Rogers told me that playing in the, he plays every year in that event in Reno. There's a big, like, a celebrity event in Reno, and he's played at Pebble. And the nerves he said he feels trying to play competitively dwarf how he feels playing in a Super Bowl. It's because one's the thing you do and the other thing you don't do.

And so I understand the appeal. And I really do believe that they fill in Tom Brady together. They ought to be the version of a permanent quarterback. You know, the kid in your neighborhood that played quarterback on every team or maybe it was a dad. They should be the one team to take on all comers. I don't know who plays golf long enough that I'm going to sit around and watch and do it badly for three and a half hours. I just, I would just, I have other things I'd rather do. I think you made a great point.

And I think the staying power for those guys is predicated on the fact that casual fans. like me are interested in like that pulls us in right and i think in general i think the match is and i could speak objectively on this because i am such a casual fan like it does bring in the mees of the world there's like oh something's on tv it's viral it's sports i got to we got it we're all in the comedian bubble of twitter and we got to get her jokes off we got to live tweet this bullshit like it's fun it's casual it's not for the purest and also the most important one is good for morale where else can you see Tom Brady suck at something that you're just as good at him as?

Well, not me, but many people watching at home. Like he beat you at everything in life. You know, in marriage, in sports, in the bank account, but he sucks ass at golf. And that's fun. Sure, his scoreboard, his scoreboard is a lot. The greater than sign is pointing towards him for sure. There's no doubt that it is an arena that is humbling to step into.

and I respect guys being willing to put their game on display because it's hard, man. And you can be good. You can be good at the game. But the minute that people are paying attention to, it's a great line. Paul Lasinger has used through the years. Everyone likes to be noticed. Not everyone's comfortable being watched. And when you step on a T in golf, you're being watched.

And that's what the matches are about. And again, I'm not anti the match. I just, I think it's, to me, it's a cheesecake thing. Like, it's a bite. I can't consume the whole thing. Got it. Segway regarding being watched. We're a big show prep podcast here at Greenlight.

And last night I'm watching, you mentioned the garden, Hawks, Knicks. And I'm thinking, golly, Scott Van Pelt, what percentage of these people know who Scott Van Pelt is? And I landed at about 99.9%. Yeah, 99%. But do you ever stop and think, huh, how did how did this happen? Often. Often. I mean, this isn't, this isn't being falsely humble or whatever.

None of this was supposed to happen. He's actually a humble guy for anybody who's never heard him talk, which is 0.1% of you. But none of, none of this was supposed to happen, all right? I mean, the whole thing is, is folly. And I went to the golf channel. I'd never done it. I met Tiger Woods. He became Elvis.

I was along for the ride. And now, wherever 27-odd years down the line here, I have this show I get to do. None of this. I remain grateful every single day that I get to do it because it's preposterous. So, no, I never thought of it any of this happening. And when we were at the PGA Championship, parentheses, tour championship. Happy Gilmore. Down in South Carolina.

And we're on a cart and driving out to the set. And people are yelling out, you know, your initials and this and that. Now, let me be clear. It was like 90 degrees and people were shithoused. Okay. They were wrecked. But I'm driving out there and it's like you're high-fiving everybody and everyone's just fired up to see you. And that makes, I mean, there's no other way to say it.

And it's good for your soul to feel like you connect to people in a genuine way. And I think I hope the reason I do is because I'm just me. And I'm not afraid to be a fan. And I'm not afraid to put out there like who I root for, I root for and what I think I think. And I'd share stuff about my family and my children. And you know what I'm saying? I think when you're a human being and you put yourself out there, if you act like a human being, I think other people will be, I don't say drawn to you because that's,

to me it sounds arrogant, but I think you connect to people. And I'm grateful to feel like I have connected to this audience for all these years. And never, ever, ever is it taken for granted? I just feel like a lot of it for me, if I'm speaking, like, as a consumer of Scott Van Pelt and a friend who's watched you for years blow up because like that weekend in New Orleans we were talking about Mall Shoes weekend, there was one night we went out and we were like, let's go out and you and me and Steve. That was the first time I realized how famous you were.

because all of a sudden, like, not only you're the tallest person in the bar, which is a terrible trick to play on somebody who's immensely famous, and this was before Midnight Sports Center. People were all over you. And so I can only imagine the fame how it's gone to the next level. But I do think that it's that relatability of coming up in the podcast game where that's a different look at somebody than like this guy started in TV. And just, I know you started with the Golf Channel,

but your popularity was you and Ryan. And I feel like guys got to know you and feel like you're there. buddy and now their buddies on Midnight Sports Center. It's not big time guys on Midnight Sports Center. And that's, this isn't feel sorry for me, theater. It's, but it is, it's just honest. It's the, it's the most challenging type of fame, pseudo fame is that because I'm not, I'm not Tom Brady or Brad Pitt or somebody that's done something great or is so famous that you wouldn't come up to me, I'm the guy the drunk dude comes up and slaps on the back and says, is we're doing shots.

And I'm like, no, we're actually not. We're not doing shots because I'm an adult and I'm in charge of me. And then that goes over poorly. And then the people like, you know, like, hey, we're coming back and you're coming to play beer pong with us.

And like, imagine that. Like, Van Pelt comes back to some house party gets wrecked. I mean, that just none of that's happening. I got invited to a wedding the other day. I'm convinced that if I was on TV by somebody I don't know.

And it's happened before. It's happened all the time, actually. You wouldn't do that to, I don't know, just somebody that's like polished and guarded, like a branded celebrity. But it's a compliment. I don't take it as it's not some upfront. It's the opposite. It's great.

And it's, I appreciate that people feel like we're pals. But I mean, it's, and here's the thing. I'm sure. I shouldn't say I'm sure. I hope that your experience has been this. I always say I'm a mirror. I just reflect back whatever you are. Yeah.

And if you're cool to me and you're kind, like, it's hardly a chore to be nice. But if you want to be an asshole, like I got that in the bag if you want to go that route. We can do that. I won't do it. I will never play that card unless you do first. But if you do, then you, then are you ready to play? Because we can go. Well, we're talking what?

Not unlike when I criticized the people in the place and Scott told me to fuck off. He was. I just wanted to be on brand. He was married. And we've both been known to do it on Twitter. and it can suck to like be like if i because i'm regular i'm going to treat you regular like i'm not some i'm not in an enclosure because i don't think of myself as being like different than you so if you talk to me i'm going to talk to you like we're equals and that can be jarring for some people from somebody they really like hey scott we're doing mailbag in a minute we figured one you that everybody has an opinion on is uh is people that make you uncomfortable at an airport the ticot guy this week made news did you see the tic tic

that guy probably not it was on the internet oh he danced yeah he danced well the fucking plane is de-planning and it's just a bad look we were going to talk about the biggest final bosses at airport scott do you have a few that just make you your skin crawl this will be good two people who fly private all the time oh wow can't wait here we go here we go take any charters in your life probably more than me virginia sports mr virginia sports anyways go ahead yeah your name's making and you went to Virginia. I bet you're familiar with the carpet on the tarmac there, my man. Yes, he is. I feel like the shoes off person is the one that really makes my skin crawl. I mean, and I have never seen it in the wild. I've only seen up pictures where someone has

like an ashy foot over the top of your seat or over your armrest. I mean, I don't know what I do if someone put their foot in my space like that. with no sock and shoe on. But that, you're the number one seed in this game. People that don't understand how to board, people that get up and get in the way. The TikTok guy suck because, come on, this isn't the place for that. But if you have your shoes off and you put your foot in someone's space on a plane, you suck and shouldn't, you should be on a no-fly list.

Simple as that. I agree. Where are you on farting on an airplane? Because we had this debate last week. I don't think it's a debate. What do you, what am I supposed to, like, how long am I supposed to, You're supposed to go to the bathroom and fart respectfully. Come on.

Really? I'm just surrounded by, you guys should be on the watch list. Am I? Now, hold on a second. Let's be, all right, let's just, let me Maryland it up for you here, okay? Are we talking about toxic, noxious fumes? Are we talking about just sort of a fart? Like it's more just a bubble.

It's that doesn't speak. Well, listen, yeah, if it's an altitude, hey, I'm farting out this $12. bag of dried apples. I got a Hudson news. It's relatively fresh. Like, that's up to you to, to kind of regulate. I'm not going to get really mad at somebody if they just do an S without the BD. Right. But if you, if you just are just blowing just hot ass into a plane, then sure I get it. Get up, get up and go to the to the, to the, to the, to the loo if you can. But what if I'm in the window and it's just kind of a pain and there's a bigger guy in the middle and now, but let's be honest, we're on a charter. It's fine. You can just get nude if you want. No one cares. It's fine.

My one seat is definitely, and this is a little tease to what's coming next, but my one seat in the running is the guy who jumps up to race to the exit when you're deplaning. I mean, that guy to me, I get visibly upset at that person. Now, actually, the guy that I would most like to just punch is the guy that gets like almost proudly indignant about a child crying on a plane. We're in a metal tube. How do you think children get from California to D.C.? Like there's no fucking choice. You want these people to get in a wagon? Like, we get it. You're mad. Who cares? You bought a first class ticket. Fuck off. Like millions of people do every day. When I lived in Orlando, golf channel days, every flight to and from is packed with kids.

Obviously, they're coming to see their mouse. And when I was young guy, no kids, the kid that crying made me, made me angry. I mean, because I just didn't get it. And now, as we covered in the beginning, now, I, anybody, any parent with a child that's just can't do it, I always try to make eye contact with them or if I'm within a ear shot, just be like, you guys are good. It's going to, any parent has empathy because there, but for the grace of God, we've all been the one who's kid, it's got an ear or something that's just, it's bothering them. They don't know what the fuck's going on.

They're on a plane. You can't tell a kid blow your nose and make it pop. You just have to wait for it to pass. So, yeah, if you get mad at a kid crying on a plane, you suck. I used to, but now I don't. I've evolved. If your first day in like a South American prison was like walking into an airport, the guy you don't want to fuck with is the guy's ripping heaters in the Joe Camel Lounge.

That's just like he's subjected himself to hot boxing, nicotine and carcinogens inside of an airport next to a six-foot Joe Camel statue. When I pass him every time I'm like, oh, natural beef, my eyes go away so fast. I don't want any problems with that guy. How much do you think those rooms have sort of been a detriment to smokers? You look in there and if you're a smoker, you have to be like,

look at us, we're just, we're zoo animals. And we have to go in there with other like-minded people and just suck down a marlborough red. Dude, marlaret. That's exactly what I said to read earlier. That's literally the harshest cigarette. And that's what I picture everybody in that motherfucker is ripping. One pull.

One pull and it goes from the end of the filter. I'm good. Oh my God. I'm in 20C. Last question on airports before we take this thing home and we take the baton. Are you a recline guy or are you anti-reclined? You're six foot six, yeah? I am. I'll die on this hill. Somewhere along the line, it became a sin against humanity if you,

if you lean your chair back, even an inch. I disagree. I think, I think you should be allowed to push that button. And I don't say full recline. That seems a bit rude. Okay. I think enough where your body physically feels like this much of a, right? Because you don't need a lot. because you're sitting upright in a way that's kind of uncomfortable. And if you get just, I'm talking a degree or two, that's it. Be reasonable, but don't act like if I come back a little bit, that I'm like, I just took a dump in your lap. It's not what happened.

Can I push back here a little bit? It's just that human beings, on the long list of things that they're bad at, it's finding the line. Okay. So if you leave people to decide where like, hey, you're not, you're being an asshole past this, this, uh, this, uh, this. angle, you know, like, uh, they're going to be an asshole. They're going to take everything they can get. And my point is that I'm fine with a little bit of reclining, like an inch or something,

but you got to be a tall guy. I don't want to, I don't want to look up there and see Danny DeVito like going, and like slamming his chair back to me because I will knee the fuck out of your chair. Right. If your feet are dangling off the, off the floor and you recline, then come on. You could curl up like a cat in your chair. Yes, dude. Yes, first class. Coach is first class for you. I don't think people. realize the reason I sit in first class or Scott would sit in first class, I presume, is not the peanuts or the, you know, the chicken that got, you know, like, steamed in a metal box. It's the fucking leg room. And for me, it's also the width, dude. It's the, it's the, it's the

girthiness of who I am. So yeah. Gertth and width. It's a good thing to have, especially in, I understand. It's a good thing to have everywhere, but on inside a metal tube. Yeah, that's, you're buying, you're buying the ability to have some room. If you're able to, it's about comfort. It's certainly not about anything else. You don't need unlimited Jack Daniels and a bad testo pasta. No, those are the guys that they're treating this like their special day.

And it's not a special day. You're one of a million. Stanford, Steve, is a close friend. I've sent him three texts ever in my life. Here's one. Line closed at 39.5. UVA 497 and fourth quarter. Abilene scores to make it 4913 and gets 15-yard penalty for choreographed

bowling pin celebration. Mrs. P.A.T. Virginia 49.13. 126 left. Abilin kicks over the heads of UVA hands team. UVA downs the ball at its own five. O.C. accidentally calls in the wrong play, a double pass to the backup quarterback, which results in a safety. UVA 4915, 34 seconds left. Abling gets the ball back, drives to the UVA 16, calling a timeout in process,

and then throws an 84-yard pick six with no time remaining. UVA 5515 final. That's a spread of 40 points. Scott, your thoughts? The greatest bad beat in the history of our show. It was the number one bad beat of the year. It was maybe the most popular single segment we've ever done. It resonated in a way that it led to the resurgence.

Steve dusted off the trustee, get on your horse, 67. That was an O-Lyman for Abilene. And what people need to understand is if you've seen the clip of us, We don't rehearse that. We just did it. And I'm screaming, oh, my God. And everything you just described happened as you described it. I did a bad job on the clip of explaining that after the choreographed celebration for Abilene,

they missed the extra point because of the penalty, which in the end was the reason that you didn't cover. That and the fact that Virginia ran a double pass from their own two-yard line that resulted in a six. safety, which is the most fucked up play I've ever seen in the history of football. They're up 36 throwing double passes from the one.

They claim that the OC called in the wrong play. How is your play sheet victory formation right next to double pass on the two? Is the quarterback not like it's, yeah, the settings

are all fucked up on that play sheet. Like, you really really, want to spread those plays out a little bit, but it was confirmed that supposedly, allegedly, allegedly, it was a mistake. But doesn't someone in the, doesn't someone in the huddle go, yeah, they just called double pass. We're just taking a knee, guys, just getting victory. Like, I haven't played football, so I don't understand what happened. I would have thought somebody would have said something, but they're also very obedient kids. Understood. But then after the safety, of course, Abilene gets the ball back, and that's the worst thing that could happen because then they

could do something stupid like throw a pick six which they did. It had a little bit of everything. And I just want to say this before we let Scott go. I cannot wait for bad beats in college football season. There is nothing that makes me feel warmer and fuzzier. We just talked about it and I just felt good. So I can't wait. And Scott, you guys do a great job at midnight.

We'll be watching. And I hope you come back soon, man. We appreciate the time. No, it's, it's, uh, other than that steroid dumpster people place stuff that happened earlier and me telling me, can fuck you. And the thing about the rash, I just, I want to take that back. That's, that's mean-spirited. I'm sure this is an angel. I don't wish any, I don't wish any a will on her. I just, I just wish you had a better dad. Scott M. Pelt. Everybody.

Scott was fun, huh? Scottie. Oh, I should have called him Scotty. would have been cool if we got Ryan on too who oh Ryan just wanted to say happy birthday Kate as you can see the sign above me it says life's better at the lake and I just like to look at life as one big lake

and I know that if you can always take that with you no matter where you are no matter what the challenges are day to day if you look at life as just one big lake life is a little better you know there's a great saying

says if you want the rainbow you got to put up with a little rain you know who said that Dolly Pardon Dolly Parton Happy birthday Kate That was nice to him Was that nice of him?

Yeah who was that Ryder's oh It's smaller on video Oh is he That's really nice of him Man He really did have a sign above his head There's a whatever it said about the lake

Yeah Something about the lake That's super Thank you to Ryan. I would read a Ryan audiobook, though, for real. If he read an audiobook, I think you'd do a lot better than a lot of these audiobook narrative. You would read a Ryan audio book?

I would listen to one. Got you. You know what I mean. That was really special. That's the most special. You want to know why? Didn't have a cameo watermark on it. That came from the heart.

They sure did come from the heart. I also didn't have to pay for Ryan Riscilla. Ryan Rissillo, Howie Long. New England guy's not charging a lot for. cameos. Hey, airport final bosses. Did you have any kind of Scott and I were going there for a little bit? I'm anti-recline just because I'm anti-human being really. I don't want any sort of confrontation. But that's not coming from a bad place, fellow humans. I don't want to inconvenience you at all. And the bang for the buck, a couple inches. Life's the game of inches. Listen, I wanted to

add one guy or girl to the list here. Stewardess. Could be either. Flight attendant. Flight attendant. Flight attendant? They don't say stewardess anymore? No.

Really? Explain to me why. I just don't know. I'm being, okay, I'm ready to learn. Well, I think stewardess is female,

and there are male flight attendants. Why? Because it ends in this? I think so. What's my name? Stewardess. is a woman who is employed to provide meals for and otherwise look after the passengers on a ship yeah ship ended i think that's insensitive to guys we can do it too okay well a guy or a girl could

ram the fuck out of your knee like on in the aisle with the beverage cart like almost intentionally i would say that's like deserves some honorable mention final boss i said impatient with kids guy the guy who turns his light on like to read a book i mean eh i can go either way way on that. Guys got to read. It's not his fault. He can't sleep. I like to look out the window, so don't put that, don't put the thing down.

Oh, especially not take off. And I've told strangers to pull it up because I like to see if we're going down, I need to have a plan. Yeah. You know what I mean? Also zone blockers. Zone blockers. And I'm not talking Shanahan.

I'm talking about the guys and gals that just rush up to the front and they're in zone five. Excuse me. Is this zone one? Like, you're making me ask the most uncomfortable loaded question of all time. Yes, I have status. I have presumably money. I'm not trying to be an asshole about it, but is this zone one? And dog, maybe once or twice, I've been told that the overhead bins are full and the bag's going to need to go under. And then I'm going to need to wait another 60 seconds

longer than somebody else after we land. I'm fine being the last guy on the plane. Yes, I love being the last guy on the plane. My lovely wife and I have little disagreements on this. She's like one of those, I got to rush off the plane. She's not a cut in line to rush off the plane person because we wouldn't be married. But I'm the guy that I want to wait to the end. Like, where are we going? We're all going to baggage claim. I'd like to sit and I like to be able to watch the people pick up trash as I'm walking out. Like, that's how empty I want the plane to be. I want to be on the plane so long that the flight attendant is like, are you good? I don't know, man.

You might have an obligation to participate in the zipper system of getting off the plane because then we behind you have to say, sir, would you? No, I'm talking about if you're in the window, you just sit, get comfortable. I hear what you're saying. Let the plane, let the plane deplane. No, I hear what you're saying. I think you need to go when it's your turn. It's part of the equation.

Fondle your ball security guy is final boss, big time. I mean, like, hey, no, I could have a nuke in my pants, but it's not likely. I think you've checked around all the necessary areas, my man. Also, arrogant shoe shine guy. Can't stand that shit. And you don't have to say anything. It's almost the action of getting your shoe shine, pushing the crosshairs with me.

But like legitimately, you're sitting there like you're King Tut and you're just getting your shoe shined next to the Hudson News at Charlotte Airport. And what was the one right before that? Fondo, your balls, security guy. talk about reclining a couple inches yeah you should see his face right now that's a good one

cutters any cutters like you're at the train at dallas to get to each different terminal when I stand outside of a train inside of an airport and you know the whole thing is you let everybody off first and then you go right because there's no room if you're going to uh... bow guard your way onto the the train

The guy, there's always one guy who's like, you see him, you hear him. He's the last guy down the stairs to the train spot or he's in the background. And he just rushes up in front of everybody and hops on the train before everybody's been standing there at the gate. If you've been sitting and the train pulls up, sit your ass down and let the people who have been standing get on the train. Mm-hmm. Relatable? Yeah, I got to be honest, I didn't quite follow all of that, but I'm sure you're right. I'm sure you're right.

Reed, do you know what I'm talking about? Do you fly ever leave your house? No, I just stay in my house. I rarely use a car. Now, I will say this. Everybody needs to stay home. I'm trying to stay home more these days. But back when I did fly, I want to say this.

Moving sidewalks, I'm a walk. I'm a walk guy. Get out of my way. I'm walking. I'm walking here. I'm walking in Memphis. Here's the big question. Guy outside checking your bags

that's offering to check your bags like by the road. Isn't that for you? from like the 90s. No, they still do that at some airports. Angel or final boss? Because you talk to some people, they say, hey, I've taken that guy up on it or gal, and they've got my bag into the airport with the swiftness.

Now, I always feel like there's a catch. It's too good to be true. It's like anything with the catch I avoid. And come to find out, a lot of those people are like looking at you like demanding a tip. You don't tip the person inside. There's like this understanding, this kind of Tuscaloosa, Han,

handshake out by uh out by the drop off line i'd like to keep my eyes on the bag as long as long as i'm allowed is that fair that's fair as fuck and to be clear i'm issuing the walking sidewalk entirely i'm not walking on the walking sidewalk i'm walking on the on the carpet next to the walking sidewalk moving sidewalk that's what we're after oh i'm walking on the walking sidewalk okay is there something wrong there no as long as you're side right side Correct. You're on the left. That's fine. I'm getting my steps in at normal speed. I'm not no 1.5 podcast in the airport walking ass. Internal house temperature. What's the best internal house temp in the summer? This is for making. In the summer. In the summer, I think you want to, you want it warmer, right? Because you don't want to come into a freezing house. I'm going 72.

Really? You want to warmer. Well, yeah, you don't want a freezing because you're coming in from from a hundred. You don't want to come into 68. Read what? Isn't that right? I think that's right. Freezing house for me. Well, sleep temperature is different. Sleep temperature, yeah. I'd like 68.

I would like to walk into a cold house. Yeah, 100%. But you don't want to be shivering. Well, when I'm outside, I'm doing, I'm active. Nighttime, yeah, let's shoot. Let's go nuts. Let's go to 67. Yeah, I read an article or I read people talking about an article.

About Bernie Sanders, like this room at like 58 degrees. Yeah. wherever you traveled. Did you read that? Did you hear people talking about the same article? I didn't, but who doesn't want to have a freezing cold environment when you're under the covers? Serial killers.

Obviously. Serial killers. But just daytime, 72 gets a job done. Look, we got to pay the freaking bill. Somebody has best Gary's of all time. Oh, shit. You forgot to do that one, huh? I'll go number one, Gary, my parents' assistant.

Shout out to Gary. Number two, I'll go Gary Payton. Oh, really good one right there. Yeah, real chalky. And not to say that your parents' assistant isn't dynamite. I'm not familiar with his work. Well, Gary Payton is no Gary from my parents' payroll. How about Gary Cole?

He was Lumberg? Oh, yeah, he's on my list. Gary Cole's three, Lumberg. He looked at me like I was insane. Well, because I forgot his name. I had never heard his real name before, but there he is just for his Lumberg performance. He's number three. Gary Cole.

No doubt. I'll put him in number three and I'll go number four, Gary Buse. I think he's kind of grandfathered in. I feel like he's a bit of, he's kind of like a little bit of an overrated Gary. I'm not saying he's not awesome or I wouldn't want to hang out with Gary Busey a little bit. But you know what? I'm going to take him off the list. I'll go Seneyce at four.

I'll go Gary Seneyce it for, Lieutenant Dan. Love that change up. Born in Blue Island, Illinois, home of Ninko, Rob Ninkovich. Gary Shandling, hell yeah, two R's. He's a Gary and a Larry. Who's that? Gary Shandling, Larry Sanders Show. Gary Shandling actor, no longer with us?

Mm-mm. Well, technically, can he make the list? This is Gary Shandling. Oh, we're only doing living Gary's. Yeah, I mean... I can hit that curveball. Gary Oldman. Heck of an actor.

Yeah, he is. He just missed my list. I put Gary Coleman in on my list instead. Gary Coleman, uh, who, God, he's deceased. I was like, did I, did I, am I misremembering this? I remember he's, he's, he's deceased because in 2010, or 2009, like a year before he died when I was a rookie, and so

it would be 2009. It was the off season after my rookie year. We were supposed to do fun shit for the group, and I almost had Gary Coleman flew in to be our chef. Like, Gary Coleman was going to be a celebrity chef at the facility. Everybody was going to show up one day, and Gary Coleman was going to be there, and people were going to lose their shit.

And then the vets would probably be mean to me at practice, but for like that 30 minutes, they would have been like, his rookie's all right, he got us Gary Coleman. And I remember when he passed away in 2011, I was thinking of myself, fuck should have got Gary Coleman. And he just made my list.

Good. Gary Delabate. Producer Howard Stern Show, fluff, fluff, lohi, taututthi. Well, if he's the producer of Howard Stern Show, I mean, like, then good on him. And he maybe should make a run at this list. Is that five for you? That's five.

Also, can I say hello to Gary Indiana? I will be shocked if anybody's listen to this fucking podcast in Gary Indiana. And one day I'd love to have Freddie Gibbs on, because maybe we can he can like get us a couple Gary listeners Gary Indiana home of Freddie Gibbs home of Mike Ebb's not to mention Michael Jackson you're on that upper weed today huh I'm not on the well I'm not on the upper well listen what I did today was I accidentally drank I've been dabbling in decaf lately and it's no good I've been more anxious even with like 10 milligrams it sucks oh so I like the

maybe three times the last six pods, about 50% I've dabbled. Do you hear that? That's a slippery slope, my friend. I'm just saying today I accidentally had like, I had some cold brew from Traeger brother. Shout out to Mike Lewis. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

So anyways, I take it out of the fridge and I take a sip. I approximate 12 ounce can here that I'm gonna have about two ounces of this shit. And so I asked Mike to text me back and tell me how many, milligrams of caffeine and an ounce of this Trager Brothers crack cocaine coffee and he's taking a while so I say fuck it I need a little pick me up and I drink two ounces of this shit he texts me back

he says 300 milligrams uh oh in a 12 ounce can of Trager Brothers coffee dog you guys are just telling you you guys that drink coffee out there are drug addicts as long as you're okay with it you're drug addicts. I'm going to bring you an oat milk latte with an extra shot next program. No. No. Speaking of coffee. They need to do a movie like train spotting, but for coffee. It's all your lives.

I feel like I'm on crack right now. I'm seeing things. I was in the bathroom. I was taking a leak whenever artwork on the wall, and I was seeing all types of colors in there. It's the coffee. Hey, shout out Tinker Coffee. Indianapolis, Indiana. I've just opened this box.

He starts off with a Charlisville, Virginia. Hello. How about that, huh? Well, he must be thanking you, not me, because he knows fucking drug runner. My guy, Stephen. Mike Lewis, you're a drug runner too. He tweeted, he tweeted to ask me to ask you not to say cheeks so much. And golly day, I'm as bad an offender as you.

You're the cheeks offender. Yeah, I think so. So people need to listen better. You know. Oh, don't be talking ill of my guy, Stephen, Tinker Coffee, Indianapolis, Indiana. He's a drug runner. I respect his craft, but just he's running drugs. Full review coming next week.

Thank you very much for this care package. Full review. I'll be on the ground like just seizing and shit because there's so much drugs in this coffee. Like you guys are in a race to make the strongest coffee in the world. You're going to hurt somebody. Stop. I'm fucking tweaking. Yeah, I'm tweaking.

I'm trying to, I'm like hitting this mighty as hard as I can. Look at how good. packaging is. It's great. It's great. Look at that brick of cocaine there. You're in for a treat is what it says on the outside of the package. You're in for a manic episode.

Anyways, best and worse things about getting old. I don't know. The best things you're asking at the right time. Gray hair, wisdom. You know, I have some grays popping up lately. I noticed it the other day. Need less sleep.

You really do need less sleep the older you get. doing nothing tops my list I love doing nothing not expected to do a whole lot you're 26 you need to be at the bar on a Friday you need to be at the bar

on a Saturday you think there's less going on these days yeah we're going to say weekend expectations yeah I like the wash part the like total normal night for me now to sit in on a Friday night and watch a movie finally the Mighty's working it's bringing me back

to my equilibrium, getting off that crack, that Traeger Brothers crack cocaine. So yeah, I mean, this is an endorsement for the coffee here because you guys like the strong stuff. Give me a stronger hit, man. Give me something that I never close my eyes after I drink. Like, that's the coffee arms race right now.

We're talking about getting old Friday nights. Love a good chill Friday night. So on that side of the time, things I'm with you. Love a good chill Monday afternoon when I'm asked to go tubing. Thank you. Nah. I'm old.

I can't go tubing. You what kind of idiot would ask his friend to leave the house? What am I 11? I'm going to go inner tubing on a river? Are you fucking kidding me, dude? What am I 12? Are you kidding me right now? Do I look like I'm seven?

This is the best bit you've ever had because it's so unbelievable. I'm a man. All right? You understand? I'm not going to go inner tubing on a river. What are you spinning? with my little friends. Like what?

You're spitting this activity. It's brilliant what you're doing. I'm dumbfounded. Here comes severe thunderstorms outside. Holy shit. Right on cue as you levy this assenine argument that intertubing is a childish activity. I'm going to need an inner tube to get to my motor vehicle after this here. Fucking kids can't swim, man.

It's not a kid's, it's not a kid's game. Baloney. Kids aren't deleting beers at that rate. Kids aren't having lettuce on the... Fuck you, man. Hey. Your favorite thing sucks, bro. I hate to break it to you.

Your favorite thing, it sucks. No, it doesn't, bro. Just ask all the people that are tubing as well. They'll tell you it's great. All right, I'll ask a little Billy and little Timmy on the river. Oh my God, dude. The guys never left his house. I remember when I was a kid, they'd pull you behind a boat.

in an inner tube and it was fun. Yeah, this is a different kind of tube. You're responsible for your own navigation. And then I turned 13 and I moved on from your inner tube. What moving on and graduating is you got to steer your own tube down a gorgeous but dangerous river. It's dangerous out there. Fucker right.

Kids. You know what I told my kids? You go tubing with me when you're 40. It's that dangerous. It's that dangerous. It's a man's game. It's a woman's game. Which earlier you said,

I'm a man. I don't know what that means. I don't know what that means and why it was relevant in a conversation about bravery or like being a grown-up. There were men and women lining that river. You got a cheeks hobby. Shout out Tinker Coffee, Indianapolis. Fucking drug runners, man. The bad parts. Degenerative joint health.

Yes. The threat of CT. A rectile dysfunction, which hasn't hit. here. I just am listing it. Speak for yourself. Hasn't hit here either, but just in general you should speak for yourself. A lack of respect from an increasingly

young world and and death. I'm not worried about the death part. I think that's a perk of getting older. Oh my God. Well, no, I don't mean to be dark but you just... But there's a severe

thunderstorm outside and I'm talking about like... Death is like to me, like you beat the game. Really? Yeah. That's how you think about it? Checkpoint. Yeah.

Cruising USA. Death. Checkpoint. Like, have you ever met anybody who hasn't? Died? Yeah. Yeah, like everybody in this room, dude. Are you sure?

Somebody asks for minor inconveniences. My life is a bunch of minor inconveniences and the important word is minor. I have a great life, but I find myself constantly bitching about little things. I'm working on it. But I could do this for a while. You don't even understand what a minor inconvenience is. I've struggled with a concept. Okay.

You get to the front door. You got a bunch of stuff in your hands. And you realize that your keys are in the opposite pocket. You can't reach in to get your keys because the pocket side arm is full of shit. I hate that. V relatable. Been there. I guess I'm fairly adept at going like offhand

I have a fused thumb I can't reach in certain pockets the wrist doesn't work as well it's very frustrating you do have trouble holding things it looks like this a lot yes yes yes yes when you get to an establishment

you had texted people do you want anything from redacted establishment like grub wise and then like two minutes after checkout yeah I need x yz Yeah, well, are you returning if you're the offerer? Depends on who's asking, dude. There's some people you got to go back for, right? Hey, happy birthday to my lovely wife, Kate.

I want to shout her out. I don't think she listens to the C block. Having to pee when you lay down for bed, which I think is another thing with getting old. Right. Minor inconvenience are getting old. Yeah, both. Yeah, no, yeah, yeah, it's both of them. It's a getting old thing and it's a minor inconvenience.

Like every time you seem to lay down, you're like, I don't know if I got to pee, but I feel like I got to pee. Oh, here's one. And then you're just awake thinking about it. The right thing to do is just get up right now, but you sit up like half awake for 30 minutes and you're going to do it later anyways. Here's one, which I didn't realize until I had the house to myself for a night or two. going to bed in the dark

because let's say you have a lovely wife maybe a four month old in the room you all sleep in the same room because you can't see shit because you care about each other and want to make sure everybody's safe and healthy and shit where is the stuff

like where's the stuff where is it where is the foot of the bed that I'm about to jam my toe on yeah sure not to hit anything wake the baby it does make you a lot more sympathetic to uh brian o'connell because he can't see yeah nice yeah nice very bad college basketball referee is is being referred to there no i don't know if he's bad just you used to stand in the bleachers at the games and yell

bryan o'connell used to stand in the bleachers yeah only game i've attended as a fan in the last decade or so in new york in new york on the big stage I remember everybody's staring at us. Sorry about that. Well, it was your birthday and we had to celebrate heartily before. Sort of. I would say we lost to Brian O'Connell more than we lost to Michigan State. You got it.

How about cracking your lip? The minute you know you cracked your lip and you're going to smile and it's going to crack worse, how about your iPhone not searching for keywords and texts? Like literally when I type in a word that I know was featured, in a conversation that I'm trying to locate to get somebody's number that I didn't save or something like that. Apple seems to not give a fuck about that capability on the phone anymore. Like they're not cutting the player and replacing it.

How many software updates do I need to? Try turning it off and back on. No, thank you. Stepping on a car, you'll get there. Stepping on a car. A small car. Oh. Like a toy car.

Got it. Have you like Ben Stiller, Tropic Thunder just. all the toys in my home are plush at the moment. Do you hear what I said? I said, Tropic Thunder and what happened? I said Tropic Thunder and what happened, dude. I said Tropic Thunder and what happened.

Bro, we don't even need to tell the people that came across the microphones. That was the loudest thunder I've ever heard. You think you could hear that in the microphone? That shook the people at home can. That shook the station. Shook the station. There's flavor shifting around. Studio J is rocking.

Studio J. Ernie's back there shook. Okay? I said thunder. Thunder happened outside. That's happening to me a lot. Out peeing the flush. I don't know if you ever try to time the flush up.

And you're like, you're just flushing twice now. Oh, no, no, no. I stick with the one flush. And you just let it mellow. Yeah, it's mostly clear. I'm V hydrated.

How about on the websites that you try to like log in? I don't know. The pictures. Okay? Pictures. Tell me where the traffic. lights are. Oh no, tell me where the mountains are and they show you some hills. Show me where, you know what I mean? Show me where the crosswalks are. There's no crosswalks.

There's a bridge. As an anti-robot guy, I would think you would have no problem with this. Yeah, well, you're right. You're right about that. I hadn't thought about the fact that every time I'm like, quite literally that's a traffic light. Half the traffic light is outside the box, I know, but I also have to click the outside of the box, don't I? To acknowledge, that there's a foot of traffic light in this box. Words matter, too. You know what I mean? Words matter.

Cars. That's a, that's an SUV. It's not a car. That's a monster truck. You know what I mean? They pull shit like that, dude. What's he talking about? The boxes.

No, I'm just talking about when you got to log into a website and they give you a bunch of pile pictures. Okay, got it. Got it. I mean, I thought we had moved on to cars being an inconvenience, which frankly, do we even care about the environment?

Sending Grubhub to the wrong place. I had never done it, but I have a friend that's done it 12 to 15 times. I know a guy who sent Grubhub to his office instead of his house and vice versa over 15 times. Wow. I would say that's major, not minor. Makin? I think we had a good pod, man. I think it was good. That's all I care about.

All right. Well, you want to do another podcast in a couple days? Hey, same time tomorrow. Oh, I don't have to ask because you're contractually obligated. Yeah. That's awesome. Can you imagine just me not showing up anymore and taking me to court? Oh, my God.

Hey, long game. Why don't we do that? They'll do a whole E60 on us and how the friendship broke up. More chickens. Ten years later, we do another podcast, and it's probably, a lot more successful. Yeah, yeah. I was going to say that,

I was going to ask if we could maintain the friendship throughout the court proceedings. Secretly, yeah, well, we're just throwing this, you know, we're, it's fraud. Okay. Y'all take care.