Green Light with Chris Long - TJ Hockenson! Minnesota Vikings, JJ McCarthy & Kevin O'Connell! Cinco De Mayo, Abdul Carter's Jersey Number & Kentucky Derby!

Episode Date: May 6, 2025

TJ Hockenson joins Chris Long to cover all things VIKINGS! TJ gives an update on the Minnesota Vikings offseason training, JJ McCarthy's progress, playing for Kevin O'Connell and the difficulty of the NFC North. And then once we leave the lakes of Minnesota, Chris, Macon and Dr. Fax have some fun. They celebrate Cinco De Mayo, give advice for Abdul Carter for selecting a jersey number, talk about horse racing, the Commanders new stadium and dive into Chris' take on roundabouts and if they bring anything positive to society! (00:00) - Intro (2:30) - TJ Hockenson on the Minnesota Vikings, JJ McCarthy & Kevin O'Connell (24:50) - Cinco De Mayo and Holidays (34:30) - Abdul Carter (44:50) - Sovereignty Wins Kentucky Derby (54:30) - Washington Commanders Receive New Stadium (1:01:10) - Roundabouts Have some interesting takes, some codebreaks or just want to talk to the Green Light Crew? We want to hear from you. Call into the Green Light Hotline and give us your hottest takes, your biggest gripes and general thoughts. Day and night, this hotline is open. Green Light Hotline: ‪[phone]‬ In need of sweet threads to vibe like Chris and the fellas? Check out ⁠⁠⁠the website⁠⁠⁠ for everything merch wise and enjoy for 25% off your entire order in celebration of the 2025 NFL Draft! sitewide! Also, check out our paddling partners at ⁠⁠⁠Appomattox River Company ⁠⁠⁠to get your canoes, kayaks and paddleboards so you're set to hit the river this summer. Green Light's ⁠⁠⁠YouTube Channel⁠⁠⁠, where you can catch all the latest GL action: Green Light with Chris Long: Subscribe and enjoy weekly content including podcasts, documentaries, live chats, celebrity interviews and more including hot news items, trending discussions from the NFL, MLB, NHL, NBA, NCAA are just a small part of what we will be sharing with you. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

JJ's my dog, you know. I mean, that's my guy. Great dude, great person. I can't say enough good things about him. He wants to be great in this league. And you can tell that by his preparation, what he does during the week, what he does every day, how he handles himself in the building. And so you got to love that from a guy like him. Welcome to the Greenlight podcast presented by BetMGM. If you haven't signed up for BetMGM yet, use bonus code Greenlight. And you will get up to a 15, $1,500 first bet offer on your first wager with BetMGM. Here's how it works.

Download the BetMGM app and sign up using bonus code Greenlight. Deposit at least $10 and place your first wager on any game. If that bet loses, you will receive up to $1,500 in bonus bets. Just make sure you use bonus code Greenlight when you sign up. Welcome to the Greenlight podcast. Hey, thanks for jumping on today. folks, we've got Minnesota Viking great T.J. Hawkinson, one of the best tight ends in the league. He jumps on with Chris. They talk all things Minnesota, J.J. McCarthy, what Kevin O'Connell is like

behind the wheel of the Viking ship. How good of an organization Minnesota is to play for in the battles that happen in the NFC North. T.J's a great time, and it's an even better time because we were recorded on Cinco de Mayo, and after T.J., Chris, Nate, and Dr. Fax celebrate in style. The fellas talk Abdul Carter. Do we pick out a number for him? We might have found one. Chris has a great idea of what he can do to find that right number because LT and Phil Sims have turned him down.

Also the Kentucky Derby. Kenny Mayne almost lost us a bunch of money. Good thing we didn't bet it. Making one an ice cream. We talk holidays. We talk the Commander Stadium and Chris has a take on roundabouts. That leads to a pretty wild conversation. So enjoy it.

Have a blast. We'll catch you when we catch you. All right. We got another stud Viking on the show. We got to have one of the newest faces on the Minnesota Vikings a few weeks ago, John Allen. And now we've got probably one of the best tight ends in the league. T.J. Hawkinson joining us on Greenlight. TJ, how you doing, ma'am?

Fantastic. I appreciate you having me, man. Dude, great having you. I was just saying we were catching up offline when we got to visit Minnesota last year. We were so impressed with just everything. The program. you know the people in the building the guys on the team it just seems like a great place to to play how much does it help when you're having a tough year like last year doing a lot of rehabbing

hitting the ground running and all that stuff i know it can be a long off season when you're when you're rehabbing something like that to be in a building with that kind of energy and that kind of life to it it's huge honestly you know you said it like the people in the facility having chaos having quaycey having the upstairs and then And, you know, I was working with the rehab staff with Tyler, Maddie, all those guys. And I can't say enough good things about them, you know. I mean, it's one of those places, you know, when you're in the league, you know, sometimes you got to make sure you got your back, you know, you got your back.

And here you can trust the people that you walk into the facility with every day. You know, they're going to tell you like it is. They're going to do what's best for you. And that was the experience that I had, you know, going through that entire process with my knee with them was, you know, know, we were doing, we were tracking stuff. They were showing me the data. They were always making sure that we, we, we stayed on schedule. We had a plan, you know, and, um, to be able to be in a facility like that with the top notch technology and, and everything that we need. And then with top notch people, you know, those two things go hand in hand. So it's truly a special place.

I can't say enough good things about it. I love being here. And, and hopefully I'm here for a long more time. That's awesome, man. Yeah, they even had aquapana water in the in the dam refrigerators. I was like, holy hell, dude, this place is, they spare no expense. Yeah, we're not trying to get the plastic in the body, you know, you got out of glass bottles. What do they call this? Microplastics. The microplastics, man. The microplastics, but like when you have an ACL and you're an athlete that has to block, you have to do some of the inline stuff, you have to get on on the perimeter and block. You have to be in space, running routes, like, elevating for the football. It just feels like there's no way around a knee when you're rehabbing and rejoining the team,

like mid-season. I think it was like week eight or nine for you. Like, how tough can that be? And then for a tight end, what is the hardest part about rehabbing an ACL? When you get out on the field, gaining the confidence, like which area is it that it is hardest to gain that confidence? Yeah, like you said, we have to do everything. You know, we have to be able to block. We have to be able to catch. We've got to be, you know, with the cues and everything. We've got to be with the line and everything.

We've got to be with the wide receivers and everything. So, you know, when you're going through that rehab, I think one of the hardest things was just getting, you know, when I run my routes, I kind of have a little bit of a, you know, left and right with me. You know, I got a little bit of a wiggle to be able to release against man, to be able to separate against man. I think that was one of the parts where you just, you don't want to run like a robot still. You know, you want to run like yourself and you don't want to rehab it to where you're sprinting. You're running like a sprinter. You're doing that kind of stuff. You know,

you're still playing football at the end of the day. So I think that was one of my goals when I was going through it was still have still be you, you know, still run like you, still cut like you, still do the same things that you've done and try to, you know, tweak them so they're better. But that was a big thing. And then another one was, you know, you have to block. And so you're blocking guys that are 275, 280 pounds. They're 30, 45, 40, 50 pounds heavier than you, you know. And so, you know, really getting the confidence of pressing back on them with that knee, you know,

because you got a set block. You got to stay on your heels, you know, you got to make sure you're, you got everything. going and if you are at all uncomfortable and you try to change something, you know, things can happen just like that and things can go south. So I think that was, those two things were huge for me coming back from that and just focusing on that and really getting the weight on my back, getting the weight on my legs, getting everything back to where they needed to be in order to, you know, come back and make an impact like we were able to do. And just hit me, you got Hinks too. Josh, we had Josh in Philly.

So it's like we knew everybody in that building. It was such a great building. And then another guy I didn't get a chance to talk to or see was J.J. McCarthy, obviously, at this point. I think when we came through, he had already hurt himself. It's so impressive, like immediately out of the gate, the tape of that one start for him in the preseason of that one big day he got work, you're like, this kid's got it. He gets hurt. You're spending most of the time on the training table.

getting treatment during the year. Are you guys kind of intentionally getting to know each other a little bit better so that you can hit the ground running when it's time? Yeah, JJ's my dog. You know, I mean, that's my guy. Great dude, great person. I can't say enough good things about him. He wants to be great in this

league, and you can tell that by his preparation, what he does during the week, what he does every day, how he handles himself in the building. And so you got to love that from a guy like him who's coming into the building who got hurt his first year he's he's intentional about everything and you know i just we you know we we all try to hang out outside of the building so we just went on a golf trip so i spent four days non-stop with jj you know we were staying in the same in the same place and so um just stuff like that is is huge for team building for huge for being able to

communicate on the field huge for you know just just being boys and and general, you know, I mean, so that's my dog. I think he's going to be incredible. And, you know, I can't wait for that to translate to Sunday what you guys saw in camp last year and what you see every day, just being able to talk to him. He's always asking the right questions. He's always trying to learn. And so I can't say enough good things about that guy. I think you're just going to have to see it when it comes around. Is there an innate trait or physical trait, you know, that he has that kind of separates him from other rookies And you've caught balls from a lot of guys so far in your career.

I mean, you know, which is a, it's a talent to be able to do as much as you have with so many quarterbacks. But with him, what do you think separates him? What's it going to be his calling card? I mean, I think it really is his mind. You know, he has a calming effect, but also an intentional effect. When he's trying to communicate with you about what he wants on routes, what we want on routes, you know, he's learning about us as an offense. us as wide receivers, you know, he wants to know the game of football. And that's huge as a young

guy. You know, you got to be able to learn the game because it's a little different from stepping from college to the NFL. You know, these guys are a little smarter up here and they use their leverages. They will take chances when they need to, you know, and to be able to learn that and learn the circumstances behind that and what they're doing is huge. And so he's always asking questions. You know, his arm talent is there. You know, he's got a sick arm. You know, it's, you know, I remember catching up, and I told him this the other day, I said, I remember catching passes from staff.

And it was one of those balls where, you know, it just zips on you, you know. It looks like it's not, yeah, it looks like it's not coming, but it's coming, you know. And JJ's got the juice behind it where, you know, it kind of has that effect, where it doesn't look like it's coming. It's a tight spiral, but it's coming, you know, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, he's got a, he's got an insane talent, arm talent, um, and really the personality that he has goes really well, um, and I think he's gonna have a long career. You know, we mentioned all the quarterbacks. You mentioned stafford, you know, you've caught balls from guys like Josh Dobbs, um, I believe, yeah, you had the, the Dobbs, uh, the Dobbs effect, which was like, you, you, you know, you, Past or not. I'll never forget that.

And then, you know, you got Sam Darnold who, I mean, you couldn't help but root for him this year and to see him get the big deal. Let's start there with Sam. Like, how exciting was it to see him realize his potential this year and how gratifying is it to see him get paid this year and kind of leave on good terms? I felt like it was good terms, like mutually beneficial stop and everybody gets what they want. It was awesome. Sam's a great person. again you know i you know i've played in this league for a long time and i've been lucky enough to to be around great quarterbacks and just great people you know you talk about staffer you

talk about jareg golf you talk about yeah you know uh josh dobbs you know jay sam you know so all these guys you know there's great people and so sam was one of those those really good people you know he was a he was a boy's boy um loved hanging out with the guys um wanted to go play golf wanted to hang out You know, I mean, and to watch him, you know, I was obviously injured, so watch him on the sideline for OTAs, watch him on the sideline for camp and just seeing what he's able to do and obviously his arm talent as well. And then, you know, for him to be able to go from read to read to read and really, you know, scan the offense and do his scans, but then scan the defense and understand what they're trying to do too. and with flow on the other side during camp, you know, that's, there's a lot of confusing looks.

There's a lot of stuff coming at you, you know. So to watch his poise in the pocket for that was a lot of fun to see. And he kind of knew it was coming in camp. And so to watch him, those first five games was electric. You know, I was just so stoked to be able to see him do well. And then, you know, when I came back, week nine or ten, and, you know, we kind of just hit the ground running. You know, there was already kind of a connection built because we knew each other off the field. We hung out a lot, you know, another, another guy that I was close to. So the connection

just came on the field right away and it was a lot of fun. So to see him get paid in Seattle was awesome. You know, I wish nothing but the best friend. I still talk to him all the time. You know, we're still sending each other DMs all the time. So that's my, that's my, that's my, that's my, that's another one of my boys so um wish him nothing but the best for sure i saw sam at the jelly roll concert at uh at the super bowl he was out there kicking it yeah he's a big dude he's actually bigger than i thought and uh man we got to find you a forever quarterback you keep getting all you're like i like i like this dude he's cool these are my boys and then like you know guys keep moving on or what have you but um definitely rooting for him and then going back to the pasturnaut man

Josh Dobbs, when it's happening, like we as fans and as, you know, former players, we're watching, we're looking from the outside end, but we don't know what y'all are thinking, are y'all just kind of like, we know this is temporary, but this is going to be the most fun little chapter. I mean, it was like every week had something else in store. Yeah. I mean, those first three, four weeks were, was awesome. Yeah.

I mean, you know, you, you know, you know, you know, Kirk got hurt, you know, and then, you know, they brought him in and it was like, okay, we're going to try to give him a week. And then, you know, we had another guy that got hurt the next week in Atlanta. And, and Josh came in and was like, you know, he didn't really know the offense. He kind of heard the plays, said the plays. And he'd be like, hey, what's my first read here? And we'd like, go to the left, man. And then, you know, like, it was, it was kind of, he was in the huddle like, hey, what's a, what's a thunder route, you know, or like, what's this route? What's a scout route? like stuff like that. So it was it was a lot of fun to kind of just walk him through that in the huddle when you have 40,

seconds to go, you know, and you're, you got to hurry up and you got to do that kind of stuff. And just another great dude, you know, he was down in Mexico. We did that golf tournament and hung out with him. And so, you know, that was, that was a lot of fun to be able to, and he can sling it, too. He's one of those guys that's not afraid to throw the ball, you know. Or run. Or run, dude. I saw him. I don't know if it was. Because it was Jaron Hall that got hurt, right? That game? Yeah, it was Jaron.

He, like, fucked himself up on the goal line, I feel like. It was like... Yeah, it got concussed. He went, he went, like, movie hero at the goal line, got fucked up. And then Josh Dobbs came in and had that, like, that movie play down at the right pylon, where he ran away from, like, I don't know who he ran away from. But he gave that little juke and then right into the... Oh, yeah.

Dude, it's like one of the best games I ever saw, man. And, but, yeah, no. I mean, it took the two-minute drive all. the way down for a Tud to win the game, you know? Like, that was his first game. That was, like, he didn't, he had been there for three days. Like, as a quarterback, you got to, you got to know the offense, you know, and he was just spitting out these plays that he was hearing, but he didn't really necessarily understand

so he'd be in the huddle like, hey, you guys got to help me with this protection or, hey, where's my first read or, hey, what should I look here, you know? And it was dope. It was honestly a lot of fun, just because it's like, you had all 11 involved in that every play. and you're like, I got your back, man. I got your back. So it was dope. I think it probably also speaks to KOC, getting a chance to talk to him once or twice.

Just magnetic, man. Like, can you speak to what kind of a, what his personality is in the building to you, the players? I mean, we see from the outside looking in, but who is he really to y'all? I mean, he's, you know, he played in this league for a long time. So he knows what it's about. He understands that side of it and he understands us as players and he can communicate with us as players, you know? So that's like one of the best things that, you know, we love KEO because it's like he talks to us like, you know, we're on his level.

And it's not like you're talking down to each other. It's what he asks of us is what he's going to get from us. You know, what he, like we have that kind of relationship with him as players. Like if he asks us to do something or he asks something of us, we're going to make sure that's something that we're going to get done. you know and and uh... chaos again he's one of those guys that you know he'll actually go golf he'll talk to you outside the building he wants to you know build relationship with his players and you don't always get that from head coach you don't always get that um from a guy that's that's higher up and chaos one of those people that's just super down to earth um you know

he's going to expect a lot out of you um which you want you know and and so he'll tell you like it is he's not going to be a he's not going to work around the bush you know you You know, he's going to be a straight shooter with you. And so that's something that we respect as players. We just want to know what's going on. And good, bright, or the other, you know, we just want to know exactly what you're thinking. And he's going to tell you like it is. And that's the best part of having him around the building.

And just the affection that he gives, like he, you know, you really truly feel like he cares about you when you step in that building. And even after football, you know, you talk to guys that have left and they're like, you know, chaos still reaches out and talks to you a little better when he sees you, you know, it's just like it was, you know, a couple years ago. So, you know, that's another piece of the puzzle that you just got to have a great head coach like him. And to see him win coach of the year this last year and, you know, to see the success that, that, you know, he's been able to have and then to be able to extend from, extend his contract and stay a lot longer is, you know, a lot of fun just to be able to have that stability.

So, you know, it's great to be able to play under a guy like that. And not, and just, you know, you're talking about his football mind, too. Like, this guy is as smart as, you know, can be. Like, you always know we're going to have something dialed up. You always know that you can, you know, trust what he's got in his bag. And, you know, we're always the, you know, we feel as if we're the most prepared team walking into Sunday, having him around. So it's a lot of fun. Is he taller than Darren Campbell?

Two tallest coaches in the league, I believe. I think he's got him. Yeah, I don't know. It's pretty close. He just needs to get in the weight room. He was just talking about that today. He does a hell of a lot. He cannot block the three technique himself.

He can't block the defensive end himself. You guys made it a big deal after that Rams game. And like, hey, no need to sugarcoat it. You all just got beat up front. And I know you guys were a damn good team. But trying to avoid being in that situation again, what are you seeing so far from the reinforcements? It's got to be exciting. Oh, it's awesome.

You have RK here, you have Will here. You know, those guys are going to be awesome additions up front to have our, you know, a new guy that we drafted. It was going to be incredible. You know, we're just, we have, you know, Brian O'Neill. We, you know, we've got Blake, right now, you know, we've got guys that are in this system already that are that are awesome to be around. And, again, you know, we, we're boys. we hang out outside of here. We went on a golf trip again, you know?

And so just to build that relationship with Ryan, who's new, you know, to be able to, you know, I've only known him for a couple weeks, but now it feels like I've known him for a long time just after a few days, just him and us and the boys, you know, it's a lot of fun. So that's the best part about this place, dude, is, you know, they encourage you to go do stuff outside the building. They encourage you to go hang out outside of the building. and, you know, that always translates to Sunday, and that's something that, you know, you've, you know, you got to hear from upstairs, you know, I want you guys to go out, you know, I want you guys to go have fun. I want you guys to live the life, you know, rather than, you know, football all the time. And which is, you know, you got to have football. You got to be there when you're there. But to build relationships outside the building with these guys because I'm communicating with him on Sunday and I got to make sure that he knows that I got his back and I know.

know that he got he has mine so um those things are are massive and that's that's all that we do is build that and inside this facility so no question that's the most important thing liking each other if you like each other you're going to go the extra mile and and and there we're down the line but let me hit you with a couple quick hitters and let you go these are he's a rapid fire here for you i think your division in the middle of the field is hell for defenders and for tight ends and offensive players there's a lot of great nickels a lot of great safeties Who stands out to you where you're like, this is going to be a long day? Yeah, I mean, obviously, you know, you talk about Detroit.

You know, we got to get that one going. I get that one. Yeah, you know, Kirby Joseph is a great safety to have him come down and guard you. You know, they put a linebacker on you in Anzolone. And I've played there, you know, so I know all those guys. And so Anzolone is a great, I mean, he's a competitive guy. You know, you're not always going to get one up on him. He's going to get his and you're going to get your.

and so you just got to make sure that you're ready to go and you play those guys. And, you know, we'll see how they are this year. Obviously, they lost a D.C. and an O.C. So there's going to be some, you know, some maneuvering going on over there. But I think those guys always stand out to us when we're playing them for sure. All right. Last one here. Toughest defensive end in the league to baseball.

Oh, man. Well, it depends if, you know, if the game's on the line, you know, sometimes they, They're a little, you know. The change of speed, man. I don't get the change of speed. I never could change speed. I didn't have to love to. Yeah.

You know, I think one of my, my second and third year when Khalil was at, Calil Mac was at the Bears. You know, he was one of the harder people to baseball because he'd just, he'd just come at you. He'd come downhill at you. Nick Bose is another guy. We've had to play him in the last couple years. And, you know, he's either going to swim here or he's just going to go through your face.

And you just don't know what you're going to. one it is, you know, and so you've got to be ready for both. And, you know, the moment you think he's going to bowl you, he'll swim you and try to get back door on you. And, you know, you just got to ride the wave and hopefully he doesn't make the block. So I think those two guys are definitely do just stand out. Well, it feels like the better, the defender, the more leeway they have to freestyle. And it makes it even harder, right? Like when you're, when you're like kind of a, you're coming up in the league as a defensive end, you're like, I'm a C-Yat player. I'm not at in the edge, whatever it is.

I'm in two-man service. I'm going to be right here. But the better guys are, the more they will allay you. I mean, it's like the Brandon Graham thing. I don't know if you ever played Brandon Graham. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah.

He's never seen a back door he didn't like. That's a true statement. No, that's the hardest ones to block, you know? I mean, really, you're like, you have the C gap. I know you have the C gap. I got to cut you off right now. Nah, you're going back door, you know? Like, that's the worst ones because you're taking a big reach to go down there.

and they're just like, nah, I'm going to go this way. Yep, yeah. Some crafty dudes, man, and you're a hell of a player, man. It's been fun watching your play, dude, and wishing your best this year and do me a favorite time. I'm a big fan of yours, dude, and I appreciate you having me. Yeah, dude, hey, come on any time and tell Tyler, I said, what's up, man? I will. Okay, all right, man.

Cinco de Mayo! Yep, it is. Cheers to that. Cheers. What's up, boys? Saloo. Cheers. Actually pretty good, Cowboy.

Some pretty clean headwear by all of us today. You see us in all this synchino my garb. You guys are all parents. Where are you on each holiday? I don't know why you would ask that question. Of all the holidays, you know, they change. Yeah, they do. Yeah, they do. Before you are parents. Yeah. And then now that you are parents, you got to attack it a different way. Is there a holiday I like anymore? Well, Groundhog Day was high the list previously don't even give a shit about it anymore like it's sad that was like a year thing we were like yeah we're gonna do this every year and the whole thing and now it's like don't even remember when it is right February 2nd February 2nd it's February 2nd it's February 2nd

guys full of shit anyways no what I'm excited for guys next month June 10th I was about to talk about June yeah that was we want to let you go first on it June 19th Guys, in case you don't know, mark it on your calendars because for some reason Apple doesn't have it on the calendar. It's in my calendar. Oh, it is in your calendar? But I might have put it there. Hey, hey. Did you put it there?

There's a chance. I've been trying to be really good at putting stuff in my calendar recently. Hey, eyes up. What is June 10th about? June, June, June. Eyes up? You go first. Cowboy?

You go first. What does Juneteenth commemorate? It's a Texas thing. Well, it's a holiday to celebrate African-American culture. The last freed slaves. In a way, Dr. Fax, do you want to give it a shot? No, I want to hear my white co-host talk about Juneteen. What was it going to say?

There's so many great lines from the Godfather. You guys are all invited to the cookout. Cowboy, you tried too hard. were commemorating and is it not is it not the slave yeah it's the end it's the actual end of slavery yes and didn't it happen in texas probably sure 1860 no five tell me tell me five the last freed slaves first used in the 1890s referring to june 19th 1865 yep okay in texas in texas nice dude AISD. Look at that.

When Major General Gordon Granger ordered the final enforcement of emancipation proclamation in Texas. Now, now you know, now, now, now, now, now. When we were in school, they weren't teaching us about this. No, that's fine. Now everybody with the guy with the taco on his head, what's, what's, what's, what's Cinco de Mayo? Fifth of May.

Yeah, sure. How about you with the sombrero? What's that? What's synch of Mayo? It means the fifth of May. The guy who's rolling is ours to start the show. Godboe read the guy with the fucking what is that a rainbow donkey to celebrate a donkey it's a pinata Latin heritage in culture is it not Mexican Independence Day it

I didn't say I had the answer I think it's is it it's gotta be I believe it is yeah but I don't know that it's like straight Mexico's victory over the second French empire in the Battle of Puebla in 1860 yeah it's not the independence day yeah that they got independent the fucking... Because of the battle of Pueblo? Yeah, King Puebla. Tacos. Tacos over crepes.

Okay, what's St. Patrick's Day then, bro? It's a massacre. No, that's Valentine's Day, right? Valentine's Day is a massacre, bro. It's a massacre. It was like the real meaning of Valentine's Day. It was like a bloody massacre that happened, right? Hey, how about this line?

Let's just get, can we talk about which holidays we like? We don't like any of them, we're saying. I don't think we like any of them. I like them. Last thing on this. Do you know, hey, do you know the thing where people twerk for, you've seen people twerk for, for, like, thank you. It's like somebody stands up there and you say like a serial and you're like Captain Crunch and somebody twarks a lot because Captain Crunch is really good. And then they're like, you know, grape nuts and there's like a little movement.

Like it's just twerk according to how much you like a thing. Bro, your algorithm is so wild. Dude, it's literally games with names did it. I follow games with names. I apologize. guys. They're twerking? Yes, dude. And they're kicking our fucking ass, so get twerking.

Bro. That's not it. This is my whole timeline. My life timeline is actually broken. I just, bro. You get twerking. They want to see you twerk. I'm not going to twerk, bro. I'll make a list. You want me to twerk? You want me to twerk?

I'll twerk. You want a list? What do you want a list of? Holidays, bro. Holidays? Yeah. Okay. Get up. Here we go. Holiday number. Number one, I got it right off the bat. Halloween. Oh, zero twerk. What?

Yeah. That is cute. Pagan holiday, as your mom pointed out. Okay. And when you have kids, it's all about the kids. You can't even really get high. Okay, I got you. I forgot.

I forgot who I'm messing with. Can we pause for a second? No, no, no. You can't even get high on Halloween because you got to worry about everybody running over your fucking kids in the neighborhood because people drive too fast. You can't have a drink in your hand. Like, you really have to be locked in on a holiday. Halloween.

Okay. Next. Now, the good thing about Halloween is you wear a mask, so you don't have to talk to people. I got one for you. I got one for you. Stand up. Here we go. Can you get the side shot, please? Yeah, here we go. You could turn a, there you go. Here you go. Memorial Day. That was low, medium twerk. No, you just don't know what my best sign is. We should have started with that.

No, so Memorial Day I like. Number one, I don't like that we're celebrating it. I wish nobody died. But I love Memorial Day because you do get some, hey, thinking about people that served and are no longer with us. That's a key difference now. I see a lot of athletes fucking this up. They go, happy Memorial Day to people who are alive and served.

That would be Veterans Day, right? That was my next thing. But as soon as you do something patriotic, you can then spend the rest of the day just fucking off. And it's in the middle of summer. It's awesome. On the river. Memorial Day.

Memorial Day. Medium twerk. What's next? See, I mean, you gave it up already because I want to see you twerk. So I'm going to say, I'm going to say, I'm going to say, I'm going to say Veterans Day. All right. That seemed to be medium twerk.

Yeah. I love veterans. Day, man. My D-line coach is a Marine. Many of my friends are green berets and Marines and Rangers. And yeah, I like veterans. So I like Veterans Day. Last one. Last one. What are you going to do now? No months. I wouldn't set you up like that. New Year's Eve. Yep. Appropriate. twerick. New Year's Eve sucks. Used to be my favorite holiday. Seriously. When was a crossover when you

realized actually New Year's Eve, this isn't fun? Probably. And listen, I love my family. But when you have a family, right, kids are asleep, they're going to be up, they don't care that you were up late. Yeah, six in the morning, 6.30, 7.30, whatever it is. And, like, there's just no mystique anymore. It's the same thing, dude. You know? Yeah, I now take pride being in my subconscious deeply when the new year turns over. I wake up and I'm a new me.

What holidays do your kids get most excited is? We're not done. Fuck the kids, man. This is about us. Fuck them kids. Yeah, I think I'm going to start. St. Patty's Day has lost. some of its luster too. See,

that is just a college. That's an elite white, white holiday. I know. I still love it. I want to love it. I want to love it. Hey,

idiots. Thanksgiving and Christmas are great. But that's like low-hanging fruit. Okay. Thanksgiving. Can't you admit that as an adult, like the more responsibility you have the more. There's a funny local commercial on the radio.

And it's like, family time like not everyone's family time is good there's degradation there's hostility like for some people and i'd be thinking about holidays that that happens sometime for for holidays when thanksgiving a lot of things boil up and distant relationship that's what i mean you don't get together you don't see each other a lot much pressure yeah and then you get together for like two or three days it's too much pressure hey last week we saw abdul carter get turned down by Lawrence Taylor. He said, no, you can't have my number. He tried again with Phil Sims, I think, over the weekend. Phil Sims, I think originally agreed, but his family said, no,

no, no, no, let's not unretire that number. Where are we on retired numbers? And do we want to Did Phil Sims throw his family under the bus? Yes. Is that what happened? Yeah. I know Phil, too. Yes. I love Phil. So he was outvoted. Yeah, sorry. Wanted to. Pretty good cover. grandkids were like nah look have retired numbers but don't actually retire the number let people wear any number they want you can you can be in like a ring of fame your number can be retired next to your name it can be on your list of accolades though people rarely mention it I have an idea what we have set numbers for everything one one through 11 and one through 11 and and then so on and so on, and that's your position.

So every team you know, number one, is for quarterbacks. Oh, that's so fucking bad. Why? But it's so interesting. I like it. I've never heard that brought up. And then it's just like, yo, it just eliminates, eliminates all of this. If you're this position, you wear this number.

Obviously, there's factors that can make numbers different, but. The Chicago Bears have the most retired numbers with 14. Geez, you have a hard time Fielding a football team. The Cowboys, Jaguars, Raiders, Ravens, and Texans have the fewest with zero retired numbers. Here's the deal.

Inevitably, you're going to have great players play for your organization, right? And these numbers are going to stack up that you can't wear. I have no problem with retiring a few people's numbers. Seriously, like nobody should be wearing

23 in Chicago. No, dude. It's a problem. It's a problem. It's not a problem. The problem is the people who are left to make these decisions, who inevitably make bad decisions. If people were smarter, there would be no problem.

The problem is people, not the concept of retiring a number. The problem is the dumbasses that are like, yeah, let's do it for this player, who like was pretty good. You know what I mean? And then you've got 15 of them or 14 of them like the Bears. Ready for the Giants, guys? Sure. Ray Flaherty, Tuffy Lehman's, Mel Hine, Ward Cuff,

Al Blosis Joe Morrison Ken Strong Stop me when you've heard of somebody Charlie Connerley Lawrence Taylor Michael Strahan YA Tittle

Okay there's three guys and Eli Manning They're one two three four five you heard of Okay But 200 years from now No one's gonna know Michael Strayhan Or Lawrence Taylor

Well I'm sorry but the giants are going to be around 200 years. You really think? Don't retire any of them. Yeah. Let people wear their numbers. No, I think you can retire a very select few.

That's my take. The Ray Flaherty family said, Leaky neighbors, you may wear the number one that is retired. Yeah, it's the right call. What about? But I also understand Lawrence Taylor being like, hey, listen, I've done a lot of drugs. What drugs are you on asking me for my

number kid like and and I love the confidence from Abdul Carter by the way I think he's gonna be a good player I just didn't get that gene where and you know some people say well you know it's better to have that gene that's maybe a lot of the gene to

go right up and down the line and be like hey can I get I know how about you go in and be defensive rookie of the year and then ask yeah you know what I'm saying no you're not allowed to say boo-hoo on confidence. Should we give them a number? It's 2025, bro. You can ask for

whatever you want. You can be as confident as you want. You can say your God in 2025. It doesn't matter. And if you criticize a player for being that way, you're like, you're like, you hate the player. Don't you know that? No. And like, that's BS and

he's tripping. You're being old school. No, I'm with you now. I'm not saying he's tripping or that like I think it's like a character, like I heard Colin Coward say it's a major like red flag and all this stuff. I'm like, but do we know how he responded to it? Con Howard's never been in a locker room where you play with some guys and they legit think they're like the best player of all time and you're glad they do think

that way because it helps them perform better. Yeah. Like so I what are you looking for? We what available numbers he could select are we going high or we're going? Uh, there are no good numbers. There are no good number. Okay, give me the teams. Give me the teens. If I were him, if I were him, in pants. First of all, whose number are you taken? Okay, I'm going to tell you who's number I'm taking. So four available? No, it's not. Toughie Lehman.

Slow down. Slow down. Tuffy Lehman's number four is retired. He was a running back from 36 to 43. Don't be in here. Disrespected Tuffy Lehman. Is seven retired? Yes, it's retired. Mel Hine. You cock sucker. About 10, 11 or 12. Retired, retired, 12 is available.

All right, 12, 14. You know what, you know what, you know what, you know what? I can see him. Keep going. Keep going. Uh-uh. Now we're getting into some interesting numbers for the young man. Are you, can he even, is it, can he wear any number?

Isn't there like restrictions of like, because there's definitely like probably like 20 numbers he can't be like probably, no, actually D. D.Ns is a big range. Is anybody wearing 55 for the Giants right now? Yes, James Hudson the third, offensive lineman from Cincinnati. So you might pay him $20,000. You know, big fellow's not getting a lot of endorsement money. The way this goes is you come in the building and you find the number you like the most,

a bend diagram, numbers I like guys who could use the money. that's it find the crossover you don't go Hall of Famers Hall of Famers who are also the scariest fucking people on the planet

Let's Let's nail the Venn diagram on that Lawrence Taylor for his number You gotta bring some type of peace offering Right you gotta send something Like what you think that would You think that would A peace offering

Think he's sober Lawrence Taylor doesn't take peace offerings And he's over Or like the base What was Shoah? What was it? Show Hey, he bought the guy at Escalade or? He bought, oh yeah, but he bought the guy's wife like a truck.

Because she was the one that told him like, yo, you should give up your jersey number. That was a little much. Why? Bro, I'm not letting somebody buy my wife a truck. What kind of man are you? Like a free truck, bro. And then every time that big movie star-looking Asian guy comes around. You think that maybe she's into Asian guys.

Because she took a truck that was given to her. Yeah, if I'm a major league baseball player and I have truck money, like, I'm sorry, Shohei, give me some cash. You got to go through me. You know what I mean? I don't know the details on that story, so I don't want to speak out of turn. I think he just gave it up. He was like, I'll give it up.

But supposedly, I guess he told the story that, like, he talked about it with his wife. And his wife was like, yeah, like, you should, like, you should. Give it. That's interesting. Yeah, so he gifted Joe Kelly's wife a Porsche. That's fine. That's even worse. Yeah.

Yeah, that's even worse. I think there might be something lost in translation there where there's no such thing as like cucking somebody in Japan. Because that is legitimately. Why? For him being thankful for getting his number? So apparently she like. like went over Joe Kelly's head, went on social media and said, you can have the number.

Bro, come on. That's crazy. If I'm Joe Kelly? Joe Kelly's the man. I'm not going for that, though. Either that or I'm being like, babe, we've got to sell it right away. He got to sell it. He's going to have to wear 12. 12?

Unless he's buying a number off somebody, it's 12, 30, or 34. What would you, what would you prefer as the resident giant fan? It's gross, but it's 12. It's 12. Yeah. How many D.Ns have worn 12? Maybe nobody. I don't think it's a good look.

But that might be good. Yeah. I'm waiting for it to be cool again. If you're actually bawling, it ends up being a good look. I'm waiting for it to become cool again to get like ugly 70s numbers or like weird ones. Like Michael Bennett, I was convinced at different times in his career, like just wanted ugly numbers. How about trying? You know what they should do just for 50s?

and just for for like preseason to get ratings up they should let somebody like teams have a negative number out there just to see just to see what will happen we actually see who does it no just to see reaction like what would you do if we if if a kicker came out had negative one and like we didn't know what was going on I would think it was the cheapest tackiest fucking thing the NFL's ever done XFL I would think it was just but but if you keep retiring numbers what's the next choice? What about three digits? When you run out?

When you run out of numbers, what's the next choice? Duplicate numbers. Shapes. Yeah, three. Triangles out there. Triple digit, triple digit numbers, dude. 105. 111.

Oh. Holding, number 466666. 666. Ooh. Holding. That one's retired. This weekend. Everybody had the derby going on.

Derby. we had a lot of bets going on Kenny Maine lost us lots each of us seven percent of our assets because he said it it went on the same in a show anyway when people were watching

their stock portfolios go away and just the insanity of the United States economy right now I had advocated liquidated everything bet it all on Sandman in this year's Kentucky Derby

oh I didn't I never put a bet in good smart I pick sovereignty and my family I want an ice cream. They didn't need it eating clean. What kind of ice cream? A mint chocolate chip. Bluebell? No, it's it's kind of like a proprietary blend from the local country club. Okay. I don't know. Okay. Yeah, I was camping and I missed the whole thing. Oh, yeah. But on the way to camping, I went to a liquor store to grab some mezcal. Mm-hmm. Really into it. Funny we're talking about it today, huh? Yeah. Yeah. On the day that Mexico defeated France.

That's right. And the war of Pueblo. Yeah. Quiblo. His mutter was a mutter. But I went to the ABC store and the guy being selling me the mezcal was talking about the race. I said, who are you betting today?

He goes, you know, it's going to sound fucked up. But I'm betting. I go, don't say it. He goes, Sandman. And I go, I got to put some money on Samman. Because our boy Kenny Maine said we had bet Sandman. How did Samman do? Because I didn't even see him in the frame.

Not well. I rewatched. Sandman had to be mud man to win that race. Yeah. Oh yeah, because it was muddy. Real money. Good point.

It got muddy out there. See this tits-tastic, finished 10th? Tits-tastic? Yeah. No way. Sam man was seventh. I don't like the name sovereignty.

How about every single horse in this race is from the genes of secretary? I'd heard that. Yeah. Y'all are all my sons, grandsons, great-grandsons. Well, Secretary. secretary is dead secretary is dead as fuck no yeah but still like he's so dead the memory of it they

have no idea the family that the family that owns them is not dead no and they're still making money because that's just promotion you know i went back and watched some secretary at highlights this weekend and how was it for a lot of the race and one of them he didn't look like he didn't look like some big fucking cock of the walk you know what i'm saying he was just in the herd and then he pulled away late Like that was his thing. He would pull away late. Do you all know where Secretariat was born? Charlottesville, Virginia.

Close. Arlington. Orange, Virginia. Caroline County, Virginia. Okay. Yeah. Our most famous athlete. In Virginia.

Yeah. I think it's Secretariat and Alan Iverson. Oh, I was going to say Alan Iverson's not from there. Okay, now I get it. He's our most famous athlete. Yeah. I don't know if that's true, though. What is that?

Secretariat. I think if you ask more, what is fame? Notoriety, it's got to be AI. There aren't that many horse racing fans. How do you feel about people who think? I'm just contesting the assertion that he's the most famous athlete. Well, we do Lawrence Taylor, the aforementioned. No, he's up there.

Williamsburg, Williamsburg. Yeah. Moses Malone, I think. Moses Ballone, Petersburg. I'm not going to say what I thought you know he's from Petersburg I think he's going to say Morgan Moses Moses Malone I think

Moses Malone is from Petersburg and I think Lawrence Salas from Williamsburg Arthur Ash Richmond Arthur Ash Plexico Burris 757 Yeah

uh Norfolk Okay Yeah Taco Bell is here You get a feast Okay Oh, that's, that's borderline. And Cinco de Mayo?

Taco Bell? Yeah. Oh, to have a good time. What's the, what does that? Don't tell me to have a good time. Taco Bell. Dong. Dong.

Don. Don. American-ass restaurant. Good after. On Wikipedia, it did say that Cinco de Mayo is celebrated much more, much more heavily in the United States. then right exactly we just look like a bunch of fucking losers right yeah who's they're who wants some fire sauce I'm good bro what are these it does smell decent these are burritos did you get chalupas

you got burritos and tacos there holy shit you know what the founder of Taco Bell's name is Taco Charlton close Glenn Bell Oh, that's interesting. Yeah. Well, it is kind of like... I just figured he liked like a bell and his name was Glenn. Yeah, that's interesting.

Johnson. I didn't know about that. Glenn Bell, a little fun fact for you. Was he a good guy? Unlike Ray A. Croc? Glenn Bell, who's now dead, dead at the age of 86. Was born in Linwood, California.

To Glenn and Ruth. Too much Taco Bell. It might have made it tonight. Yeah, he seems fine. There are no issues. Okay. Because the McDonald's movie didn't paint that guy

in a real nice light. McDonald's? Yeah. Ray Crock. Glenn was married to Martha. They had three kids. Glenn died at the age of 86. Oh, he had a partner.

Then he broke off when Solo sold El Tacos. He started with El Tacos. That's a way better day. No way. El Tacos. and then he opened his first Taco Bell in Downey, California after selling El Tacos.

Talk about a guy committed to his craft. Talk about how branding can work for you. Yeah. Yeah. I can imagine he was upset losing the name El Tacos, and then he thought to himself, well, where do I go from here? He's carrying an envelope on his desk.

I, Glenn Bell, the owner of this to be named Taco restaurant. I have an idea. Glenn's tacos. You could have been Taco Mason. You really get a kick out of that. That happens much more frequently. Once a fucking week, dude. At least. I mean, we're on a Zoom call today and, you know, like to know his name is to see his title on the Zoom. And the guy refers to it was Mason. Did you see me wink at you on the Zoom? Did you see me not being able to keep it together? Yes, that's when I winked at you and then kept together myself. That was impressive, yeah.

Hey, you know, sometimes it might just be a C-S pronunciation thing? I don't know. A C-S? Like you just assume that it's- You're totally right. Yeah, you know? Yeah. You know what I did the other day?

I called Cowboy and I said, Dick, it's gun. Those are the first syllables in our last names. That's pretty good. Yeah. And you're long. Yeah. Long Dick Gun Call

Call Long Dick Gun Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha Who's That's about Taco Bell Call Long Dick Gun 888 888 All right

Yeah we don't care about the horses The horses don't know that they're racing Do you think so? I think Do you think they know that they won? They know that they're racing. They know that they're trying to run faster than the horse next to them, obviously, right? Yeah.

You can see it plainly when one speeds up to get in front of the other one. They know they're racing. But do they know that they're winning? Do they know that they don't know they're on TV? They don't know that's the biggest race of the year. They don't know that. A horse doesn't know that Churchill downs any different than Kentucky Derby. Right.

They're Foxfield races, dude. There's a video going viral. And it's on TikTok. And it's like, this is how I know my horse that I bought used to be a derby racer. And he's just on a speaker playing that. That's down. And he has like 15 horses. And then there's one black horse that sticks his head up like it's getting ready.

Like in a past life. And he keeps doing it different, like different days in different areas. And this one horse just like every time he plays it gets ready. And I'm like, that's funny. if it really was. That's pretty funny. Pio my. You know who Pio Ma is?

I have no idea. He's a horse? Don't want to tell you what series is from. You get mad. What is it? Sopranos. It's the horse and sopranos. Tony,

he buys into a race horse. Yeah. Pio. Yeah, I remember that. It's one of the best parts of the whole show. Then Ralphie kills it. Yep. And then Tony kills Ralphie.

Spoiler alert. Dude. I was getting around to watching that. Hey, something you can get around to watching this fall. Football at the Washington Commander's new stadium, which actually looks very similar to the Dallas. Death Star. Very similar to the cost of getting this stadium.

Some paraphernalia you have over there. The cost of this stadium being built in D.C. was calling Donald Trump the ultimate commander on TV. That's what Josh Harris had to do to get his stadium in D.C. I guarantee you this that's out happening.

And some people are saying, I don't talk about politics. Keep politics out of sports. I generally do. But now politics has like come over into my world. And so I'm going to take a minute to talk about what I think happened.

Here's what I think happened. I think Trump was like, hey, if you want to build the stadium in D.C., you got to, you got to have, you got to have, we got to have the, we got to have the Super Bowl in D.C. And they were probably like, well, maybe we can work on that like eventually. Like, yeah, he was like, no, like in the next two, three years we need the Super Bowl in D.C. And they were like, no, we absolutely can't do that. And then he was like, well, I need the draft in D.C. while I'm still in office. and then that's what happened it's not like it's in like some deep state secret i think that's

probably exactly what happened so do you think he gets up there with roger godell and shakes everyone's hand next year dude i think i think he's going to be sitting on the fucking stage in a humvee like with like a helmet on or something like dapping up the players who he and he just took all their nil money with an executive order and then he's going to be up there like get up there like up here. Oh yeah. What's up with that? What's up with Sabin hating on the kids making money? Like Saban, you made your money, bro. You bounced around as the coach. Stop it. Just stop it, bro. Let the kids make money. Like, you're done coaching. If you want to go back and coach, go back and coach. What was his suggestion? Do you know? And get with the time. Do you know what the specific suggestion

was per saving? Good player. You're a terrific player. Arms. I'm not. I'm not. I'm not. I'm never try to yeah it's tough little long arms long arms short arms really good player you sound like terrific player pleasure to be here okay at the draft it's not going to be like that at that was it's going to be the only channel on tv we're all going to be sitting there for being force fed The 2000 27 NFL draft You're good at a lot of things

This is not one of them This is the commissioner Roger Godal Great friend of mine I'm just killing time Until you have the Nick Saban thing Saban reportedly reportedly complained about

NAL to Trump He wants to Mitch. If Trump follows through an executive order would potentially upend years of legal fights. Bro, he just lost the Cavenders. Like, think about it. You know what I mean? There's a bunch of young kids whose future is NIL money.

Right. And now they're getting cock blocked by the president. You know what's funny? No, you know, you know what's fucked up? What's off though? Pay to play. It's like pay to play now. It's paid to play in the government.

So only politicians can grease each other on the way in and out the door? Payola. Like, you know what I'm saying? Yeah. It's fucked up. I'm okay with the... Fucked up. Big fucked up.

I'm okay with the situation being revamped, but not by him. Come on, bro. Not by him. What do you think about the stadium? Would you go now? You go and check a lot? it out. This doesn't look safe either. Really bright, too. But I will say, I think

like for commanders fans who are excited, they have you to thank for getting them out because you have been a very... I mean, I've been a very staunch supporter of getting the fuck out of that death trap. Yeah. Now, you got to figure with only a few more seasons left in that absolute shit hole, the whatever demons have possessed Landover, Maryland, they're going to be working full time to try to take as many bodies down with them

over the next couple years before they get into the new stadium. Think about it. This is the least safe time to go to a game there. That's a good point. Seriously. That stadium's going to spewing shit everywhere. No, some shit's going to happen over the next couple years in that stadium that you're going to be like, oh, Chris was right.

No, I hear you. Bro. I was, I joke about it, but after the jailing hurts thing, I was like, maybe you are right that that stadium is falling apart. No question. It's an awful stadium. And the new stadium's fine, even though it's inside. Like a lot of windows.

That's not fine, though. The bird strike situation to be out of control. Bird poop, too? No, bird strike. Yeah, bird poop, bird strike. That's going to be like the 13th indoor stadium. What if a bunch of eagles just come down and shit all over the roof? Think about that.

They're rivals with the Eagles What if a giant Big bird, very big bird What if a giant comes through And scoops it up with his hand Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah Just chucks it's good Yeah

What a bunch of cowboys come up Boom, boom, boom, just shoot through the glass Yeah Yeah A bunch of jaguars Escape from the zoo they're in the AFC cell Hey talking about

construction Roundabouts Oh There's some roundabouts around Bro You like the new one Near Whole Foods Dude they need to have meetings about this stuff

You can't just There are people who have been driving for 70 years And all the sudden They're just driving one day And there's a fucking circle out there You just seen it? Are you just seeing it? No, I understand.

I'm, I've adapted. Like, it took me a couple times. I understand. It's a two-lane roundabout. It's the most asinine thing in the world. It's amazing. Bro, they're talking about putting a roundabout at the intersection of 250 and 240.

A pristine, bucolic, iconic, stretch of road in Almar County on the way to Croze, Virginia, which is now becoming a fucking metropolis. Oh, round. So, you're, You're going to drive down the hill looking at the Blue Ridge Mountains. But when you go out of town everywhere else, like here, that's how they do it.

Bro, it's, like, two miles, it's a roundabout. Bro, it makes traffic a lot better, bro. Like, over near Whole Foods, it was a shit show before this roundabout. And I didn't know how I felt about it. Dude, fuck roundabout. When they were, fuck. I didn't know how it was going to be. When they were like Jersey.

When they were. Fuck around about. New Jersey jug handles is crazy because no left burns. Not the people. The jug handles. Yeah. Oh, we also, you're not allowed to pump your own gas here. Yeah, don't get out the car.

And they yell at you. I kind of like that. I don't like that. Handling gasoline. Back to the roundabout? Handling gasoline for regular people is actually very dangerous if you think about it. It's just, maybe it's just, I'm old school. I'm not into the rounder.

I just don't want to see it. I think it's an eye score. So you're cool with, you're cool with just sitting out a light, like the whole light cycle. I'd rather sit at a light. Pretty efficient. And when people run the light, impatient, they block the box. and then traffic and all that stuff. Yeah, I'd rather sit at a light.

There's some people who do. I mean, get a lot of things. Always moving and you get to pay attention. Who's yielding, who's coming, who's yielding, who's coming? I just think it's a bad idea in the particular spot that I'm talking about. I took a video for you today in the roundabout. You took a video in the roundabout? I don't think that's...

That's not even like fucking responsible. It is, it's glasses. Oh, with your Oakley's. That's pretty good. We were about to, me and Reed, we're about to go down this cool little rapid the other day. And I was like, yo, those sunglasses, you said your grass. And we, like, pulled into an Eddie and he's like, oh, I didn't bring him. I left them right in the bag in the truck.

That would have been cool. They're perfect for the river. Perfect for the river. But we've got many more. Do you think they're going to take, like, good video of like. Yeah. The videos that we've taken with them are sick. But just not as good as GoPro.

Yeah, I think they're. Really? Yeah. Well, that's the future because nobody wants a fucking. GoPro helmet or hat It can only take like three minute clips

Go pro you can do 30 minutes Okay Okay What if they put Like a crokey With a hard drive back here There you

Call me Oakley Imagine what I could do With Raybein Whatever Imagine what I could do With roundabouts Bro

If you put If you just ask You just ask me On the crokey bro It's gonna burn The back of your neck When it gets hot

bro. I do not support cooling case roundabouts. That's all I'm saying. Yeah, they seem a little too overwhelming. What? I, I, I, the two lane. No, it just looks too modern. There's going to be no place left that looks, you know, like, like America. I hate to say it.

Yeah, I agree. You know? Yeah, I think we should keep talking just so making can't get this poor lane joking. Yo, fuck off, man. I was constructing something. Sorry. I had a roundabout. It's gone.

Moments gone. I don't know. Roundabouts are sweet. And then I heard a story about somebody who, when they put a roundabout in at their school, they just, oh, I was with my friends this weekend,

and they put one in at like Virginia Tech back in the day. It was an old big engineering school. We love roundabouts. Okay? They said they just drove around in a circle to fuck with people, okay? Yeah, you've done it too

So look at the type of shit The roundabouts invite, dude It's like an invitation for chaos I did this morning to get a video How many times did you go? You can't do that in a real intersection You'll get, there's a healthy respect you have to have for an intersection

You know Speaking of cars My buddy admitted to me Oh Yeah this weekend He admitted that he for lack of a better term, cranked his hog while driving. Cranked his hog.

What? Yeah. So I wanted to get y'all's opinion. You have like a self-drive. This is life-advised. That's normal or not. Welcome to the segment called life-advised. Wait.

First off. The question is, how did this come up? Like, what were you guys talking about? Brother, they're white. But like, but still, like, how does that just get thrown and brought up in a conversation? We're white. How did you know his friend was white?

You didn't know his friend was white. White is his name Jack? No. That would be. All right, Nate, what are your questions? Yeah, go ahead. Fire away. Seems straightforward to me, and I think it is normal.

No, it's not normal. So you've, you've, you've masturbated. He was about to say you've cranked your hog. Yeah, I was about that. He was about that. So you've cranked your hog. I literally was about to say that, but you've masturbated while I'm driving. I have not.

So why are you saying that, then, Why are you saying that? There's a lot of... I can totally picture it. You know? No. I cannot. I can't picture it.

I don't know. That's why I'm asking. I was like, dude, this was unsafe. And then I found out the age he did it at too old. Like, too old. Is it last year? Too high?

Yeah. It was last year. Were you hoping he was 12? I was, well, I was hoping like maybe like... I am 12. That would have sounded bad. 18.

Yeah, okay. Like... Okay. Yeah, 18 is 18 the most acceptable age to do something like that? Yeah. I don't think it's acceptable at any time. I don't think so either. Was the car being operated down the highway?

Yes, it's moving. He was watching porn on his phone, too. Oh, I cannot. Too far, right? Way too far. Way too far. He didn't even put it on the dash. You put it on the passenger seat.

Nope. Oh, that's naughty. You guys really talked about this. Well, I had a lot of questions. So like, don't sound, don't sound all like that now. He's the one who said white people. I didn't. Yeah.

It's a good question. Like, how does this conversation like come up? Well, we're on a podcast talking about it. So this isn't really a big deal that if you're amongst friends. Like when somebody tells you they did something like that, you do ask follow up questions. Yeah, I had a lot. I mean, I think they are, that person is, is, you know, volunteering that info to be asked. They're proud of it.

Yeah. Well, he, yeah, I think he might have been proud of it, but I also think he needed to get it off his chest. There's so much bad that can happen. There's a lot bad. That's good. Ew. Ew. There's so much bad that can happen.

Was he in traffic? That was my thing. I was like, what if you fucking crashed and died? And they found you, and in your last moments, you had your pants down behind the wheel with porn playing on your phone. Oh, it's no. I had a worse scenario single car accident roll over

severed dick you live you got no dick but at least then you can like explain it away no no no you can't no no no I had an erection in traffic no it's not good

it's not good this guy is it's not good Yeah, no, I let him know that it was not good. He didn't seem to care what I thought. Hope you never let him use your car, bro. I will not be letting him use my car. Yeah, all the time sees barge. No fucking way. Dude.

No fucking way. Oh, that's awful. What's his Uber score? Probably low. I haven't asked him, but. Uber ratings, like, oh, that's gross. Yeah, anybody out there crank their hog in their car? Everybody out there crank their hog in their car?

I hope not. If you do. You should probably be detained. Comment. Comment hog if you've... Comment hog. Cranked your hog. Comment hog!

That's good, Tanner. That's really good.