Green Light with Chris Long - Tristan Wirfs! Tampa Bay Tackle on Lifting Trees, Eating, Facing A.D and Drunk Boat Parades. Penalty Kick Rule Proposal. Athlete Interaction Voicemails.

Episode Date: July 13, 2021

(02:00) - Hello. (07:11) - Layup Line. (11:47) - Good, Bad & Ugly. (11:55) - Chris Does Karaoke. (16:43) - Penalty Kick Rule Change. (35:11) - NBA Finals. (49:09) - Tristan Wirfs Interview! (52:25) - Getting Yelled At By Brady. (55:08) - Trench Talk. (59:44) - Toughest DE's to Play Against. (01:12:44) - Ryan Jensen Stories. (01:18:26) - Weightlifting Records. (01:24:35) - Eating Lots of Food. Green Light Spotify Music: https://open.spotify.com/user/951jyryv2nu6l4iqz9p81him9?si=17c560d10ff04a9b Spotify Layup Line: https://open.spotify.com/playlist/1olmCMKGMEyWwOKaT1Aah3?si=675d445ddb824c42 Green Light with Chris Long: Subscribe and enjoy weekly content including podcasts, documentaries, live chats, celebrity interviews and more including hot news items, trending discussions from the NFL, MLB, NHL, NBA, NCAA are just a small part of what we will be sharing with you. http://bit.ly/chalknetwork Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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Download the win-bet app, now or visit w y n n bet.com download bet win and let's get after it terms and conditions apply must be 21 or older and present in state where win bet is available gambling problem call 1-800 270 7-1-1-7-1-7 okay he's hip-to-hip with me i was like i'm gonna just try and run him or just run him around the hump and i remember i couldn't i couldn't see tom but i was like i was like i don't know, I don't know if he stepped up. I don't know what happened. And I just kept running my feet. And then he, then he hip tossed me. And I remember, I remember I popped up. And in my head, I was like, I was like, I remember it. I was like, then I remember it. I was like, shit.

I was like, we're on, we're on TV. I think the second floor bathroom might be running. So, uh, want to go catch it. Uh, jiggle the handle, dude. That always works. Yeah, no, but Seriously, I think it is running. So I want to, I don't want to apologize for that. But I did. Nobody's in the office but you. And if there's something wrong with the toilet, I think you're the culprit. No, I walked in.

The thing was running. And then I figured maybe somebody was in just before me. I went one. I flush. And it's still running. Yeah, this isn't some Kaiser-Sosace situation. We could wrap this investigation up pretty quickly. It's one of two dudes.

Yeah, I'm a, I'm not saying. I'm in studio mini-splits. I'm not saying it is prod TMC. I'm just saying it's not me. Okay. All right. Today we have Tristan Wirth's, who I would not let use my toilet.

I would imagine that would imagine that would be a bad deal. But Tristan Wirthes is a massive tackle for the Tampa Bay Buccaneers. He will be joining us, Super Bowl champion Tampa Bay Buccaneers. he will be joining us in about an hour, I'd say, because we've got a lot to get through. So if you want to skip ahead, I would encourage you not to, listen to the whole thing and then get to Tristan Worst. But Tristan Worst, I called this, okay, I did say this. I was arguing with some people because he got beat for a sack by Khalil Mack on prime time, you know, that somehow that negated his excellence as a rookie.

This kid is very good already. he has a chance to be perennially great. When I look at him, when I look at Mackay Beckton, I look at prototypical 90s tackles. And I think that is so cool that they're coming back. I guess they never left, but he's different than to Trent Williams. I mean, he's more massive.

He can float. He can use his width. You know, like there are guys, and I hate to use the word float after using that imagery a little bit earlier with Tristan Worf's. But there are guys. that are very good and they're very wide. And so not only do you have to be accurate with your hand placement,

you have to be powerful, you have to be quick, you have to be twitchy, but your hips have to be good because you have to actually clear their hips. And Tristan Worf's is built like a doorway. And we'll talk to him about weightlifting, his year with the bucks, the whole nine yards. Tom Brady probably will come up. 2020 draft Andrew Thomas fourth overall

to the New York Giants, Jedrick Wills, 10th overall, Cleveland Browns, Mackay Beckton, 11th overall, New York Jets and Tristan Worf's, 13th overall to the Tampa Bay Buccaneers, Austin Jackson, and Isaiah Wilson also in that first round. Big, big draft for O tackles. Huge, and I think Tristan Worst has a chance to be the best one. I think it's going to come down to him, Mackay, and Wills,

who I was wrong about. Evidently, kids pretty good, and I was wrong. I didn't think he was going to be very good, but I was sure right about the other two. making most impressive thing that you can lift. You saw Tristan Worst lifting a tree. I've been lifting, as you know I've been lifting, I put together the weight bench,

and I've been lifting 100 pounds on that bench press like 13 times at a time regularly since you've been gone. Since you've been gone. Yeah, that's not going to be layup line today. Why don't you do hello? Kettering, Ohio. Hello! Kettering, Ohio, there's not a lot on Kettering, Ohio, until you get to the notable people.

Holy shit, there's something in the water there for a town with presumably a population of about 56,163. They've got a lot of famous people. People I like. Richard Black, obviously, the commercial artist and landscape painter who created the Mr. Clean mascot. Where would we be without Richard Black? Chris Borland, one of my favorite linebackers in NFL history because he said, fuck this shit, I'm out. He said, I don't want to ruin my brain. I'm going to retire after two

years. I've made about 600 tackles in San Francisco. Brooklyn Decker, do you know who that is? Yeah, yeah, yeah. She dated Andy Roddick there for a little bit. That's right. We're going to be talking tennis in a little bit. A.J. Hawk. We got a gym Paxson. We got a John Paxon. We got all the Paxons. And I'm sorry if I'm forgetting anybody else. But there's a lot, a lot, a lot of famous quality people from Kettering, Ohio. So keep doing what you're doing. And they have a sister city called Kettering, Northampton Shire, England, United Kingdom. That is confusing, guys. I love the UK.

Hey, my pledge to the passengers on this GLP train is that I will not do any research regarding potential duplicate hello cities. So if I say a place twice, it's not on purpose. I'm just an idiot. We should have a map with pins. That is smart. And green pins are listeners where we've identified. we have the listeners and red pins can be the pins that we're still looking for somebody in kettering Ohio brilliant hey uh layup line

won't stop the lot shit bangs in all speaker the word of this brother y'all heat y'all now we're on the way y'all way y'all shone and like little brother okay i i love little brother little brother uh hip hop group from durham north carolina they were like a soundtrack to late college and uh early years in the NFL. They got they got back together for an album last year and it was awesome. But I love their old stuff. So I just, I just threw up on the way off Chitlin Circuit 1.5. And making, you might like this. There's two guys in Little Brother. The guy I know personally, his name is Big Pooh. That's phenomenal. I happen to know Fonte actually. Yeah, okay. You don't know Fonte. But shout out to Joe Scudda. Joe Scudda is actually a listener of the pod.

So, I don't know, big bopper here, Joe Scudda, we can add them to the list. Definitely check out minstrel show. That to me is an all-time classic album. And I will make a playlist. Also, Jackass is back if we're talking art. Jackass, the guys got back together. So put that on your radar. I think it's coming out in November.

There's like a, you know, a reboot of the good old-fashioned jackass stuff, you know, shooting guys out of cannons. wakeboarding dudes over ramps into shark-infested waters. Somebody got bit by a shark doing this thing. I know making it, you're not, it's not your cup of tea and you didn't stay up late watching jackass in high school. But it was that an extreme challenge where people were like, it was basically American Ninja Warrior.

There were regular people who weren't training. They were just trying to run through hoops and shit, and they'd fall into ponds and hit their heads on stuff. I would watch that and jackass late at night. Then there's a fellow Bam Margera, who was ugly to his father, I think, was the premise of the show. Yeah, you're right. It's really not my corner. I don't like people getting injured. Well, these guys do like people getting injured, and they certainly invite it. But I was thinking about this. If you're 40 or 50 years old, it's a lot easier to do a reboot when you're like stunt guys than it is to do like a, hey, pick up game with a bunch of washed up basketball players or, you know, football players.

or, you know, football players playing, you know, seven on seven, or albeit like the sport they used to play. You can't do that in your 40s and 50s. Johnny Knoxville has gray hair, but guess what? Johnny Knoxville can still get shot out of a cannon. The only difference is when he hits the ground, it probably hurts more. And that there's nothing purer in his sport than hurting more. So actually, I feel like these guys are in their prime.

I think I have tennis elbow. I haven't been playing any tennis. I think it's probably from the weight bench, but I'm just powering through. I'm like a warrior of sorts So you haven't been playing tennis But you have tennis elbow Oh that's the thing Yeah you can get tennis elbow

Doing any number of things You don't ever have to pick up a racket Yeah you could just be extending your forearm And then bringing it back in And extending it repeatedly Hell yeah You can go out there on the golf course And coincidentally

Ironically Pick up tennis elbow Yeah you might have some hobbies at home That might create tennis elbow I mean so you just It's not always tennis housekeeping. Oh, I got you.

I got you. Masturbation. The Ricky Williams interview. About 10 days ago here, I thought it was sensational and I don't typically like our work. Ricky Williams show did not do numbers. I'm going to peel back the curtain here.

The Ricky Williams show has done numbers, but the Ricky Williams show has not done capital numbers. You know what I'm saying? Like capital N numbers. So what I'm going to need y'all to do is listen to it over again. Just put it outside and play it for the birds and tell five friends to set their phones outside and play it. Because that interview deserved better, you know. And I'm just peeling back the curtain.

I'll tell you when things are good. And I'll tell you when, golly, I wake up. And I'm like, damn, we just did 90 minutes with a guy who told you he retired because Lenny Kravitz's manager called him. He just upped and retired. You'd never heard that before. You'd never heard some of these stories before. And we didn't get great numbers. So go ahead and play it for the birds.

Tell five friends to put your phone outside. And let's boost the fuck out of that interview. PMT, they say subscribe or resubscribe. We say play it for the birds. All right, let's go good, bad and ugly. Good. First and foremost, I hit the karaoke circuit for the first time in a couple of years the other night. Unfortunately, it had been a long layoff.

But I didn't acquire too much rust. I was pretty good. I sat and I observed for the first hour. I went with my lovely wife, Meg. We go to this bar here in Montana. And every time I go there, I get accidentally drunk, which is the best kind of bar. You show up for one or two and you accidentally have eight beers. And so I'm watching people sing karaoke. You know, that kind of thing where you're like, do I get in the mix? Do I not get in the mix? I don't know anybody there. There's this guy named Mark and he has stones because he's singing Chris Isaac, wicked game. Who sings Chris Isaac at karaoke?

Only somebody with testicles the size of Stan's dad's testicles in the wheelbarrow. The guy had sunglasses and a white bandana on, and it was 10 p.m. Okay? His ex-wife was 15 feet behind him. And his new wife was also accompanying him into the bar grill. So kudos to this guy. I had to do a duet with him. He was getting ready to leave.

I said, you can't leave. Let's do a duet. He says, how about Bon Jovi? So we go wanted dead or alive. And as soon as I'm getting into it, I'm getting theatric. And I'm hitting a knee and that sort of thing, my invisible line flies out of my my shirt pocket onto the ground. So my big move where you do a split or whatever it is or you bound, you know, towards the

karaoke machine and belt out the big solo, uh, involve my Envisaline hitting the deck. I mean, and as you can imagine in a well lit bar, that wasn't fun for me. But I rebounded nicely and, uh, sang until I couldn't sing anymore. How many people were in the place? I'm going to say 23. Was it a discussion with Meg? Was it like, hey, I'm thinking about going up there. Hey, I'm going to go up there. Or was she saying,

hey, go up there? I mean, because she's going to be on her own when you go up there, no? Well, yeah. A lot of times, what happens is people at the karaoke bar when they see somebody new walk in, they urge them to get on the mic. And Meg's not much of a performer

there with, you know, she does a great Shakira, though, by the way. she just she wasn't quite ready to do a duet and she encouraged me because she found two female friends that she made at the bar to go up there and give it a whirl you guys are making friends like strangers yeah dude it's it's a it's a whole new world y'all might be your best selves in montana oh we are i might not move back is this like a dirty nellies type vibe i'm picturing not quite it doesn't have the um the patina of dirty nellies but it's definitely off the beaten path. Okay. Well, good for you. Is that Envisaline? Has that returned to your mouth?

Yeah, it has. I took some time to, to murder any germs. I set it in my listerine for a solid eight hours. I said, I just put it in the listerine. I got a new listerine. I washed it. But one thing, if you have invisibleine, you don't want to wash it with soap. The first couple weeks I had Invisaline. I dropped the Invisaline on vacation at the beach and I decided I want to clean the Invisaline. I soaked it in dish soap that was lemon flavored dish soap. And of course, it's not a flavoring that they're putting in there. It's a scent. But I got the flavoring because when you wash this soap off of Invisaline, the bubbles stay in the trays as soon as you add moisture, aka saliva. So when I pop those bad boys in and a nice

date, I started tasting lemon halfway through my dinner and I didn't order anything that had lemon in it. And so I started to notice that there were bubbles in my esophagus. So a hot tip for anybody fixing their fucked up teeth like I am, don't use dish soap to wash your invisible on. Bukai Osaka, one of the youngest players ever to play in the European Championship. He's got to score here to keep England alive. It's not coming home, Chris. It's coming to Rome. Italia has won Euro 2020, which if you're not familiar, is a soccer tournament. The beautiful game doesn't have a flaw. Most say yes.

How can we play 120 minutes, not have a decision, and then go to PKs, which is tremendous theater, also gut-wrenching. I have found a way to fix soccer. I'm going to lay it on you, give it to me honest, as I know you will. You stick the PKs, which are so much fun to watch, but an excruciating way, I will agree to decide a winner. Stick the PKs at the beginning of the match. You're going to be sitting in your chair,

you're going to be excited to watch five kickers of balls, the goaltender, it's great. This is going to be the deciding factor in the event of a tie ball game after a 90 and an extra 30. So the team who loses the PKs in the beginning, they're going to have to be on the front foot, Chris, as I like to say.

They're going to have to be on the front foot from Jump Street. The team who has won the PK, are they going to park the bus? I wouldn't recommend that either. Go out there and just win the ball game. But you do have that to fall back. back on. Now, these American ideas about taking away players and making the goal bigger or smaller, none of that's going to work. Stick the PKs at the beginning. You get a, you get a more,

you get a more aggressive ballgame out there on the pitch. I love your idea. I think it's very, it's very compelling. I do think from a strategy standpoint, it's very compelling. But then you do lose the drama. And if you're, and if you're lording over that sport, you want drama. And there's no higher drama than penalty kicks. In my opinion, in sports. So you would lose that drama. You know, the Italian guy the other day who missed the first kick. And at that point, because of the high percentage with which people execute these kicks,

you're thinking usually as a novice kind of soccer fan or just a fringy fan, it's over. You know, like on the third kick, if you don't make it and the other team's perfect, I'm thinking you just ruined it. And if you're in the Euro Cup finals for a team that hasn't won since 1968, your life's going to change forever. Now, of course, the fortune flipped. And at least the wealth was spread on the other side of it for England, who missed three kicks.

Unfortunately, I turned to my wife as I'm watching the game, my lovely wife. And I'm saying to myself, as soon as that third cat for England missed the kick, I'm thinking to myself, like, what kind of racist shit is going to happen in England? And, of course, today I wake up to articles about, you know, England soccer condemning racism as if we still, I mean, it's just incredible. It's so predictable. But I think it's the best thing in sports as far as like high drama.

I feel bad for the people kicking the soccer ball at that net. I feel worse for the goalie because your chances of saving a shot. It's like a guess. But the pressure's on the kicker because you know how hard it is to save the ball. So if you compare it to kicking a big field goal, hitting a big field goal, hitting a big free throw. There's nothing like it in my opinion. There's nothing like it that happens with more regularity. How many times does a free throw decide the game? You know, it just doesn't. Usually when you walk up and you're ready to take that kick, the game's in line. In a lot of situations,

the fate of the country when it comes to, you know, the morale for the next four years in the world of sports. Yeah, and I'm just sticking that on the front end. So I'm making sure you're not, See, I was checking in yesterday because I felt compelled to do so. I caught PK's. My lovely wife felt very bad for really everyone involved. If the ball went in, she felt bad for the goalie. If it didn't, she felt bad for the kicker. There was just a lot of bad emotions.

I think we stick that at the beginning. Then we have a better 90 to watch. I don't know if it's a good idea. It probably isn't. I'm just proud of it because I haven't read it anywhere else. It came from my head pictures. I think it's a tremendous idea. And I think if you want to add a twist to the PKs as the way they are,

maybe everybody has to chug a mutually agreed upon amount of alcohol before taking the kick. That would be fun. You don't like that. No, that's fine. That or we just go forever. No PKs, just go. Oh, you're tired? I'm sorry.

You're playing soccer. There are three substitutions. You have to keep going. Battle of Wills. We'll be here all night. Apocalyptic rules Apocalyptic rules Okay, I like that

I'm not against it but as you can tell I think PKs are kind of dope You know, it's like that's what sports about Like people's lives change people's lives change forever It's the ultimate reality TV show dude And that's penalty kicks are the The you know the perfect example of that And with my new rule I'm giving them to you

Every single soccer game Yeah, but that it's there's something called inflation here dude when you get PKs it's like yeah it's a big bonus all right i got one for you look up in the sky it's a bird it's a plane it's Superman dad of joe ross of course baseball player for the nationals we know that saves a choking fan at a gnats game guy comes in town to watch his kid ends up making sports center so i don't know if we're giving the cape to joe ross for playing in the bigs, because if he doesn't play in the bigs, maybe the woman that was saved does not get saved,

or if we're just giving the capes to Joe Ross's dad, Willie Ross. Willie. Willie Ross, also the dad of Tyson Ross, who pitches for the Texas Rangers. But yes, Willie was in town to watch Joe, who pitches for the Nats. I don't think there's any feeling. I think it's akin to drowning, that of choking.

I think we've all had, hopefully, minor scrapes with the two. But there's just, I, I haven't had one in a while, thankfully, but as a kid, choking, no worse feeling. I'm, I'm going, I'm going to go high on the Cape scale here

just because I've been there. I've been there and nobody else was alarmed, according to pediatrician Willie Ross. Tennessee Williams choked. Do you know what Tennessee Williams wrote now? Right now, no Google. Street card name Desire.

Thank you. Never heard of her. That's great. Yeah, that's good podcasting. I'm going to give this guy two and a half capes. Why so low? He was a Stanford hospital pediatrician, which is insane that this guy's a fucking doctor and he made two big league pitchers. Like, what's going on with your training regimen? saved a retired nurse. So she was able to stay for the game. And in the circle of like medical people, we were able to save a life. I mean, we got a Stanford hospital pediatrician saving a retired nurse at Nationals ballpark there. And the young lady was able to stay for the rest of the game. I'm going three caves. Three capes is not higher because it was the light, the bright lights were on.

It was a big show me moment, you know. he knew he was going to get publicity for this. It was a big, a big me moment for Willie, Willie Ross, if we're being honest. You think Willie Ross in, he's walking right on by. You think Willie Ross taking a walk in Palo Alto,

seeing a dude choking on the side of the road. He's going to pass him up because he, because, because there's not 30,000 in the ballpark. That's right. That's incredible. No cameras rolling. And you're giving him more capes than me.

Yeah. makes no no no choking his his aptitude ah choking you know how small are uh what do you call these or uh it's not a whim pipe if we're that an esophagus yeah it's a big anatomy guy it's very small though yeah it's it's pretty terrifying i'm going to be eating the rest of the day thinking about i'm be chewing my food like i'm a meat grinder just just liquefying um i had steak and eggs this morning come to think of it. That was sketchy. Damn. You ever have steak and eggs? No, I'm not a

multi-millionaire. Jesus. I've oatmeal. What, dude? Stake and eggs is a fucking diner dish. Are you kidding me? I have oatmeal every morning. You don't have to be rich to have steak and eggs, dude. I bought this shit at Safeway, dude. Oh. Well, in that case, not a poor person.

Oh, here we go. Hey, I'll wrap up good with the removal of some Confederate statues here in our hometown of Charlottesville, Virginia. Jim Crow era folks decided it was a good idea to erect a bunch of Confederate statues valorizing the South to try to intimidate black people. Just some crazy, crazy shit. Like, I feel like we're in modern times, we're so far advanced and we've made so much progress. and really a couple hundred years from now,

they're going to read about us in the history books being like, what the, what took these people so long? How backwards were they? But we do need to celebrate our Ws. And here in Seaville, Robert E. Lee and his horse, Traveler, took a hike on Saturday, as did Stonewall Jackson, George Rogers, Clark, Lewis and Clark, and Sackagiaiaiaia, who was crowding, crowding underneath Lewis and Clark.

I've already made this trek 15 times, like, you know, but I need your help. Let me crowd behind you too. And listen, I'm not saying that Lewis and Clark were bad guys. I don't know anything about him, but the statue doesn't represent the situation, the way you'd want to represent it. And as far as Robert Lee, I mean, for all the bullshit that statue caused a couple years ago, you know, it went out with a whimper. I mean, on a trailer through the streets of Charlottesville. They should have backed that fucker out of there backwards. So, you know, to truly commemorate his last retreat.

They should have turned that fucker around, faced him behind the trailer, and just pull it out of Charlottesville. That was my only gripe other than it should have been removed a long time ago. But remember, I want you to remember this. If you're having a hard time remembering it, there was a civil war. I know some of you guys say you need statues to remember history. Let me take time to remind you that there was a civil war, and it was fought, you know, almost entirely over slavery. And there was an incredible amount of racism. And our country was funded with slave labor.

So just in case, since you guys are so worried about history and statues, let me just remind you guys of those facts since they pulled four of those motherfuckers out of Charlottes for the other day. And if you're pissed off about Confederate statues getting removed, find another fucking podcast. The school I attended before the school I attended where I met you, Chris, we were divided up as Lee's and Jackson's. Incredible. It's incredible how normalized a lot of that shit goes. And when it goes away, people are like slippery slope. What's happening? If you take down giant statues in public places of people that fought to enslave people in bondage, what's next? What's going to happen next? Are we going to just forget our old 1984, George Orwell?

You ever seen that movie? Now that's a participation trophy, that Robert Ely's statue. That's a good participation. Move on, dude. Move on. Move on. Is there a statue of, is there a Nazi Germany statue

sitting in Charlottesville somewhere? Well, here's what's got to happen. How could I forget World War II? We're just teaching people history. You know who should replace Lee and Jackson on these pedestals out here in downtown Seville? You and me. Absolutely nobody ever. No more people. Stop it with the people statues. I agree. I agree. But it would be tight if we had like a little figurina. You and me we could sneak into that part. No. Yeah, no more people statues. They're tacky. People

statues are kind of tacky. Like you'll know when you got to put up a people statue. You'll know. I don't even know if you will. You don't need to replace a people statue with another people statue just to be like just to have a statue there like just just let's play a tree play in a fucking tree dude okay that is good that is good what's bad what's bad uh oh man my mom cracking out the hummingbirds up here i went over to their house the other day um and on the back porch it's just buzzing with hummingbirds It looks like, you know, what did I call the Atlanta airport? Jackson Hartfield, Atlanta Airport. It looks like I'm air traffic control, and these fuckers are just whizzing by my head.

And I'm like, Mom, what gives? Like, you never had so many hummingbirds here. You know, she likes gardening. I figured they like the flowers. Oh, I got a new feeder. I'm like, yeah, say, what's in that feeder? I was just like, well, I put a little sugar in there. I put one part sugar, one part water in there.

So she's, she's cracking out the hummingbirds in the neighborhood here. And so much so that my dad calls her the Pablo Escobar of the lake. So that's bad. Don't put sugar. I don't know if that's a bad thing. I don't know where you stand on PEDs for hummingbird attraction. But I'm not really, I feel like that's not good. Well, I happen to know a little bit about birds, and I believe you do put sugar water into hummingbird feeders.

Do you have an issue with the ratio or just sugar at all? It should be sugar water to get the hummingbird. Okay, it must be. So I'm new to the hummingbird game, and I just didn't know that people were giving hummingbirds diabetes. Yeah, unfortunately, I think that's common practice. My worries that the sugar attracts other things that I don't want so much, so I've stayed away from the hummingbird feeders. I'm on to the to the sizzle and spice. Is that what it's called? I got some, I got some blue jays. You know, I'm fond of blue jays. I got all kinds of blue birds, a lot of

blue birds around my domicile. But I've, I've strayed from the hummingbirds because of the the crack cocaine sugar water that they require apparently. Yeah, dude, it's just, it's, it's, when you think about it, it's, it's, is juice worth the squeeze? Do I need to see a hummingbird that badly, hummingbirds going to end up with serious health problems and it's in the fours and the fives of that hummingbird's lifespan. Hey, let me sneak in a quick bad before you go to the main event, sports bad. Novak Djokovic won Wimbledon. Nobody likes Novak Djokovic and that's that's Novak's fault.

It's nobody else's fault. He now has 20. Really? I don't know anything about tell me. What is he done? I don't know anything about tennis. He's just not. He's not very nice.

He's not very nice. I mean, I don't know what else to tell you. He's got no personality. He's a machine. He's mean to people. He got bounced from the U.S. Open last year because he smacked a ball at an elderly woman lines person. I mean, what else do you need?

Now, on the flip side, you got a classic gentleman in Roger Federer, the goat. You got a grinder, a counterpunner. a counter puncher, a terrific athlete in Raf and Adal. Novak, he's good at tennis, but he's hard to root for, very difficult to root for,

and I won't. Well, I know nothing about the fellow. Other than the fact that, other than the fact that yesterday, I went to tweet about the Les Miles discovery, the latest Les Miles development, which of course includes paying off a kid to go away after he was,

his apartment was ransacked, that evidently, I don't know, gunpoint, but dudes were packing. Dudes were flipping birds downstairs, Kansas football players. Victim was upstairs. Perpetrators were downstairs. Victim kind of tells on his teammates to Les Miles

or to whoever the powers that be are in Lawrence, which is not probably advisable. I mean, I think that fairly, maybe mine in your business might have been the move, but in the event that you do go and report these guys. And then your head coach says, hey, here's 50 grand. Fuck off and don't tell anybody.

These guys kicked down your door and ransacked your shit because they were mad that you snitched on them. That's what's going on with less miles. And it's not the first piece of news we've had this summer. Anyways, I go, and this is an ugly, so we're out of place here. I go to tweet, oh, man, I can't believe this guy fooled us with his whole, charming grass eating routine down there in Baton Rouge.

Remember he used to eat grass? Yes. He used to pack it up on the road and take it with him. Some nice Baton Rouge fescue. Well, little did I know trying to make a clever tweet that a bunch of people probably thought I was talking about this guy, the Joker, who evidently eats Bermuda grass by the handful. Yeah, but like not, well, I guess with the news about less,

just bad people eat grass. maybe I know you're trying to spin this into a joke that you can make about me but I don't eat grass I'm trying to transition into smoking grass yeah you're right but I can't quite get there my bad

PJ Tucker and the NBA finals man I feel bad for him he literally turned into a ramp that rolls up to the planes I mean that's the way it looked I mean like this dude for the sons what's his name again

the dude who yammed on him yeah is it cam Yeah, the guy from Carolina, Cameron Johnson. Cameron Johnson. Cameron Johnson turned him into the ramp that they roll up to the planes. I mean, he just ran up PJ Tucker's chest. And PJ Tucker's face on the ground said everything.

It was like, yes, it is a charge, but you know the rules, man. They're not going to take that thing away from the NBA finals. It was just too otherworldly, and he's looking at the ref like it's almost unfair. Yes, it was unfair, but dude, you got to take your medicine on this one. And PJ Tucker is probably the happiest in the world that only 8 million people or so are watching the finals night in and night out right now, which is interesting on its head. I mean, we've complained about the NBA finals being a little bit, I don't know, not so juicy this year.

I thought I'd be better with it. I think more than anything, if I wasn't on vacation, I'd be watching. But a lot of people are feeling that way, I think, because of COVID, because of the way the finals got pushed into the back end here. And, you know, you end up with game one on the heels of July 4th weekend. Nobody's watching. So I do think there is a market thing. I think there's a star power thing. Although if you look at these two teams on their head, you've got one of the best point guards of all time who's chasing his first ring. He's not chasing it. I don't want to say that. Who's got a chance to win his first ring. You've got Devin Booker who's superstar good, but is he's superstar marketable? You've got fun players in Phoenix. You've got a great coach in Monty Williams, who seems like every time they put the camera on him in a timeout, it makes every other NBA coach look shitty. Like I've never heard anybody who just jumped out at a former athlete from another sport

that you just were like, yeah, this guy gets it. And I don't know if he gets it, but it just sounds like he gets it. And on the other side, you've got Janus. And, you know, him gutting it out after that knee injury. one of the best players in the game who's won MVP awards, but it just hasn't had that same pop. And that's a good thing for PJ Tucker. But not so good for us.

It just doesn't feel the same. And I asked people the other day, you know, what finals does this remind you of some folks said, Houston, New York in the 90s there? I think there is something to that because of the Michael Jordan hiatus. No one's taking an intentional hiatus right now. but as we know, a lot of our best and brightest stars who are the most marketable

and the biggest markets are out. So this is kind of what we have. Add to it the thing that you've been griping about, the new look, the bunch of uniforms, the sponsors. It's just fucking weird. It's a weird year. We're coming off COVID, and this was probably the worst finals

to get people back on their feet for the NBA. Now, I know NBA Twitter is going to scream about this. Here's the way it goes. Anybody criticizing the NBA, online is probably, you know, a conservative Magger guy or, you know, anti-NBA. Oh, I'm none of the above. And I was wrong. I was excited.

I clamored for some, you know, what do they call that? Parity with a D with a T. There you know. Parity with a T. Parity with a T. I was clamoring for parody with a T. Well, now I have it. And I'm like, ah, I'm outside.

I'm sitting outside. I'm not watching these games like that. So suffice to say, I think you were right. I'm not crazy about the finals right now. I'm putting it in bad, not ugly. It'll be good when CP3 wins his ring. Wake me up then. And I think the hard thing is there's no buildup for these finals also.

Like you look at the Super Bowl, you look at even All-Star Weekend. Like there's a big buzz ahead of it. Like Super Bowl, you take a couple weeks. You pause. Baseball, they do some things to make game one a big deal. basketball is just like, oh shit, the other game ended. Now let's start the next one. And I think that's tough.

And I think it's tough for viewers. And I think another thing with the NFL is you go back and look through Super Bowls that weren't so poppy. Bucks Raiders, that's one that, you know, probably from a marketability standpoint and from a star power standpoint, it was Rich Gannon against Brad Johnson. Okay. Exciting game. A lot of firepower, but not competitive and not, you know, not something that draws you in. when it comes to Baltimore and New York, defense ruled and you had a big market in New York,

but who was playing quarterback on both sides? Colt Saints. Terry Collins. Yeah. And Trent Dilfer. Trent Dilfer. So Colt Saints, there's a small market deal, but that was a poppy Super Bowl because you had the quarterbacks. Rams Titan, same thing.

Nashville, St. Louis. So what you learn in football, not to go on too much of a rant here, comparing the NBA and the NFL and like what makes a finals matchup or a Super Bowl matchup marketable, the NFL has quarterbacks to fall back on. If you get to the Super Bowl, the big game, you have a top five marketable guy, chances are. You have the position that sells tickets

because it is so quarterback-centric unless defense rules the day in a Baltimore, New York type situation. That's why a Colt Saints bad market Super Bowl leapfrogs of Baltimore, New York. You know, so I think the NFL has a much better handle on making this thing, something that we're all glued to its appointment viewing. And on top of that, they're just better with tradition. And that's something that you've talked about. And it's the one game thing.

So I'm not blindly in a vacuum comparing a finals rating. to a Super Bowl rating. We all know it's higher. But with the NBA, when you don't have the markets, it is tough. And I know some people are going to scream at me because it was a big thing a week ago where people were like writing in lowercase than uppercase letters, you know, where they mock people online. But there are no superstars. But what about the markets? Well, I'm just saying from a rating standpoint, I'm not necessarily into the ratings, but I'm one of the people who is tuned out for most of this finals. And I think the timing has something to do with it. And I think the markets do have something to do it. It's undeniable.

Timing totally, because with COVID, we have the confluence of all these big sporting events, Stanley Cup finals, Wimbledon, Euro, NBA finals. So the NBA needs something, some hook, and I just don't know if will Chris

Paul get a ring does it for the majority of folks? It doesn't for me. The thing that could salvage the series, of course, is a game seven. Yes. Two best words in sports. And our last night, the Bucks crews won $1,200, and Janus goes off. And PJ Tucker turns into an on-ramp for a jet plane.

I mean, like an escalator, whatever you want to call him, our guy from UNC was just stepping on his chest. It was one of the best dunks we've ever seen in the NBA finals. I mean, find me really a more spectacular one. I know somebody's going to give me an example from the 80s or 90s, and I would caution you because I think that your memory is enhanced with nostalgia and that vintage kind of deal that makes memory stick longer. This is a poo-poo finals in a lot of ways, but maybe it turns out to be really competitive. People won't remember this dunk as well as some of the ones we see in the 90s in slow motion

between two big market teams and the NBA's glory days. But this is the best dunk that's ever happened in the NBA finals. I don't care if it was a charge. People won't remember it the same. And that's good for PJ Tucker. I got one ugly here for you, underwear shopping for my lovely wife. We get on vacation.

We don't have, you know, she doesn't have it. Right, exactly. So she's like, hey, when you go to Walmart today, I'm scanning the list.

And it's like, hey, look at printers, look at, you know. Did you say printers? Yeah, I got to get a printer.

here. So I'm looking at printers. I'm looking at, hey, Whalen needs some PJs. We need some vitamin water. And the next thing you know, it's underwear. And I'm like, underwear for whom? Is that underwear for me? So, you know, I didn't pack enough. I forgot. So I'm in the women's underwear section. I am rooting through just, and if you ever been in a Walmart bin, it's the most poorly organized thing in the world. So I might be in the kids underwear section. I might be in the women's section. And I feel absolutely just sorted being in that area. Because everybody that walks by looks at you like, you're the guy who's about to just grab a pair

and just like wear it on their face. Like I'm Buffalo Bill. You know what I mean? Like fucking, if your wife sends you to get underwear, just say no thanks. Just say like, I'll watch the kids. You think of it as like, oh, I'm going to the store. I get a break from the kids.

I'm going to run an errand. It's good for my ADD to be active. But really, you should just stay home, guys. okay because not only will people stare at you in the section but then when you go to the register the guy at the register will say are those comfortable with a smirk on his face that didn't actually happen oh it happened oh the gentleman at the register asked me if the underwear were comfortable was he being hilarious or he was just a creep i think he was being funny but i kind of wondered if he realizes that people sometimes have to shop for the wives. Here's the kicker. I got home,

wrong underwear. Well, yeah. I had pre-purchase questions. I mean, were you given sizing? As an awkward conversation to have in my parents' kitchen. So, you know, when I get my little list, my notepad and it says underwear, that's what I go off of. Women's underwear, do they have like the, are there numbers? Are there small, medium large? Man, listen, small, medium, large and that's that's all i'm going to say and then there's some other sizes that you know i wasn't in the market for so uh i'll just say this make sure you know what kind of underwear she's looking for because there is no service in walmart ever uh you're not going to walk outside to the parking lot to say hey you know what kind of underwear did you want to you know ask for a lady's help

you know ask for somebody's help like hi i'm shopping for my wife i'm not a serial killer i'm married Here are my two children. You want to see a picture of my wife. She's lovely. I'm a great dad. Anyways, I'm looking for underwear for my wife. And then let that woman lead you over to the underwear section. Awshucks.

But dude, how did you screw it up? I mean, why wouldn't your lovely wife give you a blueprint that like you could not deviate from like color, texture, size? You can't be there. They're perusing. Well, I got one word for you right now across America. It's called inventory. And we have an inventory problem.

problem in America right now. And we also have a problem of making a grocery list, a Walmart list in my parents' kitchen. So that conversation is not going to happen at length verbally in my parents' kitchen. I was able to refer to the notes and that's about it. Sorry, what did you get wrong? The type of underwear. What do you mean type? I don't understand. I don't want to go into that much. Are we talking like the like the thong or like the granny situation? I got two granny, dude. Okay, two granny. Got you.

I got two. I got two granny and, you know, I failed. But kids just got back from Walmart with the wife and I'm pretty sure she procured the right, uh, right on their garments. So, um, what color did you buy? Just out of curiosity. I bought a, like I said, inventory. There weren't a lot of things. Okay.

So that was my ugly. Another ugly could be McGregor snapping his leg, but I know you didn't see that. I've got no use for people beating up people except for my guy Iron Michael Chandler, of course. I heard it was gruesome and I didn't seek it out. The people who seek out disgusting injuries, you've got to screw loose. You've got a synapse not firing properly. I don't understand it. I mean, jackass, which you referenced is one thing,

but things not being attached to other things inside your skin is something entirely different. Well, as you know, I used to play professional sports for years. I would make it a point to avoid these things. I've never sought them out. But now if something crosses my desk, I can actually watch it. I'm not like somebody who's queasy. I just thought it was bad karma as a player to watch somebody else's injury. It was almost like tempting fate, which is, of course, stupid because there's no such thing.

And we're just a bunch of, we're just a bunch of. We might not even be here, bro. Yeah, I know. this might be a fever dream this could be a simulation um anyways i did feel like i was looking at simulation when i saw tristan worse lifting a giant fucking tree over his head a few months back uh let's get the the big guy on um and we have some voicemails on the tail end you know you guys called in with some of your worst celebrity meetings so stick around for that i tell you the biggest thing i've ever carried this podcast this podcast i know i almost cut you off and i want to let you get

go, Ken. That's great. All right. Let's go Tristan Wirfs. We finally got Tristan Wirthes on the pod. We had a little Tristan Worst Furnace and Wurfs fan club on the pod. We've been talking this kid up since he was running around doing crazy shit at the combine, running faster than I could ever run, lifting trees in the air. Tristan, man, what, what a long year. Has this just been the longest year of your life, like, hands down? Yeah, it's been, I mean, it's been weird for sure, like weird and crazy and everything. But, like, the season went by pretty fast, but, like, leading up to the season, like, that whole summer was crazy.

And then this offseason has been real long, too. So, yeah, it's been kind of a whirlwind. That's what I was thinking, because not only, like, you know, they say rookies aren't ready for the length of an NFL season. I feel like Iowa kids are a little bit different maybe because you guys kind of run like a pro-style program. But, you know, going from college to pros is hard enough. Then on top of that, the COVID.

What was the hardest part about the COVID thing? Was it actually hard to learn, like, a new system and that sort of thing? Because I was thinking about myself as a rookie, and I was like, I don't even know how I would do this stuff over Zoom. Yeah, that was really, that was really weird. I kind of liked it, though, because I felt like I was more comfortable, like, asking questions, like, over, like, over Zoom than in person. Like, you could just, right after the meeting got over, like, I was just, like, you could just shoot a text, be like, hey, like, I didn't really pick this up. You know, could we go over it again or hit it tomorrow? But I feel like, especially I think coming from Iowa, too, I think that helped me because learning all, I remember going to the playbook and everything.

When we're doing our meetings, I'm like, this seems really familiar. Like, it's the same stuff we're running, but just has a different name. So that was really nice for me to be able to, you know, relate that back to stuff I, you know, I did for three years. Are the protections crazy in Tampa or, you know, was it like you said, it was just terminology? I don't think we have very many crazy protections. I remember doing the meetings. like we installed a bunch but then like as the season got going like Tom only wanted to run like a couple of them so that was that was nice yeah you were probably you were probably pretty happy about that

I was like I was thinking to myself like you probably go from soaking it up for about 30 seconds when you get drafted or I should rather ask it this way how long did it take to until you went from celebration to oh shit I'm working for Tom Brady I'm going to be like it was the phone call it was the phone call. B.A. called me. And the first thing he said was he's like, he's like, hey, baby, he's like, you're ready to protect Tom Brady. And I was like, son up. I was like, not right now. I was like, I'll get there. That was the first thing he said. So, you know, it was awesome. It was awesome to play with Tom last year. He's so much of a leader and everything. But yeah, it was pretty quick where that set in. Yeah, no doubt about it, man. Like, I can remember,

you know, getting drafted way back in the day. And you just didn't say, it's a buzz. but, you know, I walked through the hallway and walked by two of the oldest vets on my team that were in Radio City because back then we did the draft from Radio City. And my smile turned to like a flat mouth, like not a frown, but like a soon as I walk by these guys, 34 years old and they're like, get ready to work. And, you know, that whole that whole celebration goes to, okay, like I'm punching the clock now. Like it's time. I wonder, you know, because I asked, I asked Stenny about this because Stenny's from my hometown. So we were chopping it up about Brady. And I was saying, what's it feel like to get yelled at by Tom Brady?

So that was like my one goal that their last year was not to get yelled at by Tom. I think I accomplished it. Like I don't really remember getting yelled at by him. I remember I jumped off sides in practice one day. And I thought that was it. Like I thought someone was coming. But no, he just said, he just said like, you know, just focus up. But I don't think he really yelled at me.

So that was like my goal. Either that or you blacked out when he yelled at you because it was just... That could... Yeah, that could be very possible as well. I just don't have zero recollection of it. How much does it help to have, you know, the vets that you had in your locker room? Because obviously when you go to a good team, they're going to be more vets and that sort of thing. Especially O' line.

Who are the guys you leaned on? You know, I think I leaned on the whole line, really. Like, they all, you know, they all took me in, you know, and just help me get ready, get ready to play. I mean, Donovan Smith, you know, he helped me quite a bit just, you know, I'd come off the field or, you know, we'd come off the field after a set. And, you know, he'd ask me, you know, what I was seeing and everything. And same with Josh Wells. He's kind of like our swing tackle. He would go back and forth, but he would do the same thing, like, every day.

Then, you know, they'd ask me, like, throughout practically, oh, what do you see and how's it going? And then Alex Capo, you know, my right guard, he helped me quite a bit. You know, we had so much communication, like, at the line of scriments, just because he wanted to make sure I had everything down. and knew what was going on. So I lean on those guys quite a bit. Talk about like a veteran swing tackle. That's probably really helpful because as a rookie. I mean, I don't know where your head was at when you got drafted,

but I know that like coming out, you were so talented that it can almost work against you. Like, okay, I expect this guy to be able to play anywhere. Where was your head at as far as like where am I projected to play? And is there a difference between right and left tackle to you? Because I believe left and right end, they're totally different for a rusher. Yeah, so I mean, I was ready to play, you know, wherever they wanted me, really. Because, like, my last year at Iowa, I was going back and forth, you know, our left tackle got hurt the first game. And then after that, I was, they'd switch me back and forth in the middle of the drive.

Like, we had plays where they would want, like, I would, like, pull or something, like, pull around the edge. And so then I would go to the left side if we were running it left, just all sorts of stuff. So, like, middle of games, I'd flip back and forth, when right and left, like, probably 10 times. Ooh, that is bad for us. We don't like that. I wasn't a fan of it. I mean, I got through it, but I remember when I first started doing it, it was really frustrating because you got to get comfortable over there. Like, I was playing right.

I hadn't played left since my freshman year. Like, I was very comfortable on the right side, like just your footwork. And then as soon as you go over there, it's like the only thing that's different is what hand you have down. The technique's the same. But that level of comfortability is insane. I felt like, you know, a newborn calf. Like, I couldn't walk. Like, I was stumbled.

That's how, that's just how it feels, you know. And I think I said to the media at one time, I was like, it feels like wiping your ass with your other hand, you know? So awkward. And, but when it comes down to it, there's not too much of a difference. Just, I mean, you're throwing your right hand versus throwing your left hand. But it's weird. I think it's weird at first.

Right end. When I play right end, it would feel like, you know, for us, I guess probably it's a little harder for rushers because, you know, like if I have a stab hand, obviously one of, like, I'm left-handed or right-handed, you know what I mean? Like, so, you know, with a very, like, you're kind of, you're kind of waiting, you're changing up, your set, you're trying to time it, and you're set, like you said, like footwork is all the same. It's an agility drill. But for us, I feel like it's like kind of, you know, left-hand, right-hand, and it can feel backwards, but I can't even imagine switching back and forth during a game. Also, from our standpoint, like,

how would you minimize the tells? Like, so like, I feel like if I know, like, oh, they put Tristan Worf's on the other side with that big motherfucker's coming to pull and knock me out of the club. You talk about that stab hand too. So, like, I'm right-handed and like, I throw my, I throw my right hand. Like, that's just what I got to do. And when I was Iowa, we were like, we were big on like two hand punches and everything. So that, that helped.

But I could, like, now I didn't really have to get used to to throw on my left hand. Like, if I, if I would ever go over over on the left side, like, I would, that be something I'd have to rep quite a bit is just getting used to to throw to throw in it. But the tails, yeah, the tails too, that was, I feel like at the same time, it was very, you know, something was coming like that direction, that direction if I went over to the left, but at the same time, they still had to, they still had to stop it. And usually they were like big, like big sweeps or something. So you talk about getting into a rhythm. I mean, like from our standpoint, it's all about getting a rhythm, but you're probably varying things.

And the way like O-Lyman or coach now is just so much more advanced than when even I got in a league. And I wonder how much like during the game it is a chess match for you, even as a young player. Because you might say if I was an O-line coach, I might think, oh, well, I want to keep it simple for Tristan works. He's a rookie. Like not that you're not highly intelligent, but you're a rookie. And then the other line of thinking is we're trying to win a Super Bowl. I need to maximize what's in his toolbox. Like how do you walk that line?

Yeah, that's tough. I know our left tackle, like he does. was a couple different sets and everything. And I remember like in camp, they're like, he cracks it and something. And my online coach is like, no, he's like, you're not doing that. He's like, you're not doing that. He's like, not yet. Because at Iowa, I was setting on a 45 just consistently, 45, get my hands on guys.

And I come into camp, I start doing that to Shaq Barrett. And like, I blink and he's behind me or he's inside. I'm like, yeah, I don't know about all that. And my coach, he's like, he's like, you got to sit back, dude. You got to get off the ball. I think at the end of the season, too, I was still kind of weary about, like, jump sets and everything. And just creating that big gap inside. Yeah, like, why do it, though, if it's working for you, you know, like, I know there's,

you got to have variance year to year game, game, you know, drive to drive even. But, like, you know, when I saw you come out of the gate and, you know, I'm glad you said that, like, I'm trying to get off the ball and step back a little bit. I was like, oh, this kid's a deep setter. Like, you know. deep set if you want a deep set like just be big and strong enough that dudes can't run you over take your inside shoulder and I feel like you did a pretty good job of that

that's kind of that's I mean that's what my coach was telling me he's like he's like make guys run through you make guys give you a bulrush because you played cam Jordan right out of the gate because I was watching because cam's my guy I love watching cam and I knew that was going to be a great match up and certainly you know like your game planning for a guy like that and your very first game but you did a nice job and you know you definitely held your own which is i think something that people throw around too much you know guys can get beat left and right but if they don't give up a sack they say

that guy held his own like you truly held your own and i wonder how you felt walking off the field after a day like that i was pretty nervous for that game just i mean it'd be in my first game and then going against cam jordan i was like and i remember my online coach he said something like two three days for the game he said he like showed a clip of oh i can't remember who it was but the quarterback like getting smoked from the right side and he got hurt and he showed me that clip he's like he's like don't let this happen i was like i was like i don't want that to happen i was like i'll try i'll try my best but just that was like that was in my head like i was just think about that i was like i was trying to like lean on my athleticism i was like you just got to stay in

front of him i was like just do just do your best to stay in front of him and like don't get beat quick I was like, but just, I remember, I remember the first play, like, I was so like, like, giddy. I was so anxious. I, like, jumped the snap count and everything. And then once I started, like, started, the game started going on and everything. I was just, I was like, it's just, you know, it's just football. It says, what I've been doing my whole life and everything. So I kind of settled down.

And, but after that game, I was, I don't know, I remember, I remember I was sore. I was really sore because Cam, he's a big edge rusher. Like, he was just giving me bull after bull. I was like, wow. I'd see him many Cam Jordans in college. And I'm not saying from a skill set level, I mean, like, but considering you were just, you've been this massive, like, if I'm a college player, that's probably not how I want to attack you.

And then like, Cam, he's going forehead to forehead. He said whatever. He's two little thumbs right in your chest as much as he can. And then if he can get that like separation, then he's going to bulljerk you. And you did a really good job of not like falling forward. And I think that's a really tough thing because guys are really. crafty with the push pull. Oh yeah, they'll give you bull, bull, bowl,

and get you, get you kind of leaning forward, ready for it. And then they'll, you know, they'll shuck you or do something, you know, just, but you're just expecting bowl. And that's what I love about this year. I just saw so many different edge roger, like guys, like so many moves that I hadn't seen, you know, I mean, like in camp, Shaq was giving me everything under the sun, like stuff I'd never seen before.

Oh, his toolbox is so deep. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Yeah, so just, like, I really like that. We had, like, bowl, bowl, bull, then he, then he do something. And so I was nervous about, like, getting too top-heavy because I was thinking bowl was coming. And, like, the two, like, Donnie and Josh, like, they told me that.

They're like, he's going to give you bowl a bunch, and then he'll do something off of it. And so they're like, they're like, don't be leaning or anything. And I think he got me on it once. Of course. How I recover. I don't know how I recovered from, like, I don't know, but it was crazy. It was nuts.

I just, yeah, I mean, like, that's really smart. And again, it's a reason to have vets in the room that have played guys with regularity, especially in division. It's like, we know exactly what this cat does. And I got to tell you, if I had stuck around a few more years, that would have been dumb and I had to play you. I would never try to run around you. I would have tried to fool you into thinking that maybe I could push you back

and try to get you on your toes leaning over with your head down. Like, because that's the only way you can get a big, solid guy with good feet. if you don't have that like rare bend the edge ability. The Kaleel Mack game, okay, I thought the offense, like it was so funny to me. Like it's only funny because I kind of know Tom, like haven't played with him for a year. I'm imagining like that this was his hell on earth. Like that one drive, you know the drive. There's like five penalties.

I had BA on the pod and just like seeing the tone of his face change when we go back to that drive. But there was the sack. And it's the only sack you gave up all year. I'm going to give you my take on it, okay? And it's just me being straight up. I didn't think you did a bad job. And this is coming from a D-Lyman. I thought that was way blown out of proportion.

I think Kaleel Max is an absolute dog. And I'm sure he got you worse than he got you on that play at some point in the game. And it didn't register as a sack. And that's what's wrong with people watching the game and ball watching. And then they return to the replay and they say, do you know how deep? And we're not blaming it on Tom. I'm saying it.

because I'm a rusher. The ball snapped on the 31. It's play action. I believe Tom goes down at the 40 before he's climbed the pocket. I didn't think it was that bad. What say you when you look back at it? I just, I don't know.

That whole week, because I think that's a big thing of Cleo Mac too. You know who he is and you got to know where he's at. And all week, I was like, I think that was probably the most nervous I was, like that week, the whole, like the whole season.

And like, I was looking at, I was on YouTube, like, looking at clips like what other tackles have done with two against them just try to try to take something and like you're deep in the bag yeah I was like I was like okay I was like what can I do and uh like I was like doing the the flash the fake hand and everything and and I remember I remember that play he he was a little wide and he he did a big jab step inside and it was like when I flashed and I was like he did he did bite on it at all like he didn't care about it I've watched the clip so many times and my feet got all messed up and then I was just trying to like okay he's

He's hip to hip with me. I was like, I'm going to just try and run him around the hump. And I remember I couldn't, I couldn't see Tom, but I was like, I was like, I don't know if he stepped up. I don't know what happened. And I just kept running my feet. And then he, then he hip tossed me. And I remember I popped up. And in my head, I was like, I was like, I hope nobody saw that.

Then I remember it. I was like, then I remember it. I was like, I was like, shit. I was like, we're on TV. and then that was, I just went back to the huddle. I was like, it's all right. And he doesn't say anything the whole game, does he? No, that's what I tell people.

That's, he didn't say a word. I think, I think, that's a lot. I think he said, I think he said three words the whole game. Like, we got like a seven-yard run or something, maybe. And he said, that's too much to the, like, he said it to the defense. That's the only thing I heard him say all game. And I was just like, I would say, like, nice rush sometimes to him. And not a peep.

I was like, you're all right. It's like, hey, he's just like, I'll shut up. He's a machine, bro. He's an absolute machine. But I thought overall, and I'm not, you know, like obviously he's one of the best. And even last year, because the sack numbers weren't as higher. They hadn't been as high over the last couple of years. But Asco Lyman, who they're worried about when they're studying.

Oh, yeah. I mean, like, so, yeah, the numbers, there might be guys who did bigger numbers last year, but nobody strikes fair into offensive linemen's heart like Khalil Mac, because he has what so few guys have, and that's just sheer power to go with the giftiness, and he can wiggle, you know what I mean? He's just got, yeah, he's so, so strong, but at the same time, he's got all those, you know,

he's got that twitchiness and everything. And so it's like he could be flying off the edge, you're like, oh, speed, you know, a speed rush coming. Then he plants his outside foot and stabs you in the chest. It was funny because dudes were like online, like people who listen to the pod were like, oh, Tristan Wirfs, huh, Chris?

like and I was like bro if you just knew like this is not it's one play first off and two it wasn't that bad it just ended in a hip toss because you were trying to be extra and finish right and you're like oh I got to look good on tape and shit and I got to finish because it's Khalil Matt right outside of that though like I did not think it was that bad who who actually gave you your worst game oh that's a good one um you know you're good when you don't have that answer off the top of your head I'm kind of jealous I would say well I would say the I would say the Bears game. I remember Akeem Hicks was he's a big track talker and I don't really I don't really do that. I don't really trash talk but he he said something and I was like I was like he said he's ready

to go or something and and I was like I was like I love it. I was like I'm I'm right here. But I was meaning like that I would love like to keep going like to keep having you know good reps with him and everything and he like his like his eyes get real big and everything. I was like I I think he took that the wrong way. That's what I always think about is the Bears game, just like I wasn't doing the stuff that I normally do. I was trying to do all this extra stuff. And like,

I hate going back and watching that game because I just, when I did what I normally do, when I just, when I throw my hand and everything and stay squared, then I did all right against him. But then on the plays that he beat me, I was trying to do all that other crap. And, well, that's just, you know, that's how it goes.

Then the train started rolling again for you guys. And the turning point was unbelievable. what was it like to see an NFL team? I don't know if there's a sense. When you're a rookie, you don't know what to look for as far as like, is this team capable of winning the whole thing? You know what I mean?

Like you have no point of reference. And of course your vets will tell you, but you're always wondering like, they're not going to tell you if they really don't think this team has it or if you're worried about it. But you're in the middle of the season, there was a bad little run there for the team. And then things started to turn around.

I mean, and I think one of the biggest black cloud, for y'all looking from the outside in was like, oh, you can't beat your division rival and you're going to have to see them in the playoffs. So when was it that you realize like, hey, we got a real shot here? Like you said that from a rookie's point of view, you don't really, you don't really know. And I just remember like after a loss, we come into a team meeting, you know, next day or on Tuesday or whatever. And B.A. would say, he's like, you know, still got a chance. We lost four in a row or something. And like, it just kept, he kept saying we still got a chance, we still got a chance.

because that was our goal is a super goal. Like in college, it's like, if you lose a couple, then you can't make the Big Ten championship or you can't make, you know,

I was like, shit, how many chances we got. I just remember B.A., that's what he kept saying. He's like, you know, he's like,

you guys know what we got to do. We got to, you know, everyone's got to lock in. We got to, and I remember the last time he said it. He's like, he's like, this is it. He's like,

if we want to do what we want to do, then we got to get going. But that, that's what was weird for me. He just kept saying, And then we kind of just went on a roll. Yeah, the Rams game was one of those last games where I was like, man, maybe they don't have it this year. You know, it was tough because I really wanted to see you guys make a run for Tom and that sort of thing.

And the question I had about the Rams game was, what's it like looking inside and seeing Aaron Donald or feeling Aaron Donald? Like in the B gap? You know what I mean? Just like, is it, can you just sense the energy and the quickness? And then how much do you have to help the guard and how much does that make your day kind of shitty? I just remember like how powerful he is. And I remember I was trying to cut him off on the backside. He's just, he's so, he was always so low and he's so strong.

I remember like I was like I couldn't move him at all. Like it felt like I didn't move him an inch. And I remember when he, when he came out to the edge a couple times and I remember like breaking the huddle and like turn around. I was like, I was like, what's he doing out here? I was like, I was like, what's this? But he's just, he's so, so powerful. It's insane. Could he make the Pro Bowl at defense winner?

Obviously, I think he could. I used to watch him rush when we go three men in St. Louis. And we'd go our odd front. Like, if I was spelled, they'd kick him out to the left. And me and the other ends would sit there on the sideline and go, oh, my God, he's better at our job than us. He's a rookie. He's better at defense.

offensive end than me. You know what I mean? And yeah, when you break the huddle and turn around a CAD, I guess that's scary. But also, how do you not tell that you're trying to cut him off on the backside in your stance? Like, you know you got to play where you might have to cut him off. You line up and he tightens down or he's a little bit of ways away from you. How do you not give it away? I mean, he probably, I think my split from the guard was like, I was just trying to get as close to him as I could like, I know he's explosive, like I know he's strong. And I was like, I had to be staring right at him. Like I probably was leaning too. Like there was probably a thousand tells to say I was running that way towards him. But I don't know. I remember I took

off running. I was like trying to, trying to reach him. But yeah, he wasn't he wasn't, he wasn't moving. He wasn't budging. He'll turn that right shoulder pretty quick. You know, you'll try to, you know, rip and get across him. And he's just somehow, I see a million tackles try it. It's just like, and he's another guy who's not going to talk a lot. Like, I don't think anybody's dumb enough to piss Khalil off, but like people will make AD mad. And like when you make AD mad, then he's going to talk. And if AD is talking, that's not good because he's not just talking.

You know what I mean? Yeah. It's not like you can get in his head and kind of like throw him off. It's like, he'll talk, but then when the ball snap, he'll back it up as well. Who was the biggest shit talker this year? Besides Ryan Jensen. Oh, listen, all right, stop the press here because I got it. I got killer stories from Steny about, like, Jensen.

What's your like, oh, fuck, this guy's crazy story? Oh, geez. I remember in camp, he, I think he got, I think, like a D-Liman. I don't know if he'd like intentionally cut him, but something happened. And I remember they got into like a fight. And like Ryan was just screaming and everything. And then BA just told him to start running. And he's, I mean, if you ask him, he'll tell you something.

He ran for probably like 30 minutes. Like in the Tampa, he full pass everything. And I were like, we'd do our set. And I just remember like I would always like look over at him. And he's still running. And he like the first like 10 minutes that he was just cussing up a storm while he was running. And he comes back and like he tried putting him, putting him right back in. He's like, hell no.

He's like, I'm not going back in. He's like, I can't, I can't breathe. And then he was, he went over the side and like threw his, like chucked his helmet down and just started like spewing. He was not a happy camper. I think for like four days, like after that. Yeah, grumpy Ryan Jensen is probably no fun for the rookies. It's no fun for the delinement.

It's kind of just a general annoyance to put it like lightly. But honestly, I don't even know if besides that. I don't know if there's one story. I just remember always in games. When we played the Saints in the playoffs, I remember he drove this dude, like, into their sideline. And I, that was kind of like my job was, like, to go get him after plays. And I remember, like, looking around, and I see, like,

I see his red hair flowing in the side, the Saints sideline. I was like, oh, no. And I remember I took off running over there. And I grabbed him, like, by the back of the pads. Like, and I was trying to, like, steer him through traffic pretty much. And it, no matter, no matter what I did, he proceeded, like, bump it. to every, like, gives every Saints player we pass a shoulder. But it's just, it's fun.

That was the story. That was the story that Steny told. He said, like, he always found a way to make contact with the players on the other team on the way back to the huddle. Like, he was just walking through a tight hallway and wasn't slowing down. It's funny. Your other teammate who's extremely eccentric and fun is Gronk. Yeah.

And I remember seeing the Gronk Spike almost kill you. How traumatic was that experience? I thought I was dead. I mean, I hadn't been like that close to one. And I remember I was like, he scored and I was running up to it. And I seen him, he like always hits the ball and then does his wind up. It was just like instinct. I remember I was like, it's like I had, I mean, I was wearing a helmet,

but it's like I didn't have one on. I was like it's coming right to my face. I was like, I'm dead. You know, a little flinch. And then people thought it was funny. I just, it just something clicked. I was like, I got to protect myself. That was some of the funniest shit I've ever seen this 500-pound dude who's

wide of the doorway is afraid of the ball because it came on the wrong's hand. You know what? I don't blame you. That thing was coming out hot. Did you get drunk at the parade, speaking of people that get drunk sometimes? I got out of smoked. I know you were smoked. That's what Stenny said.

Me and Jensen, so we were like chilling, we like went from the facility to the where they dropped us off to get on the boat. And like me and Jensen that morning, we met up at the facility and we're chilling there. He's like, Jensen's like, we got to go get beer. I'm like, all right. We went to the gas station and got a bunch of stuff. So we're like at the facility, you know, before we got on the buses and then we get to the boats. And we get on everything.

And I remember it seemed like it was like an hour and a half before we like the boats actually started moving and everything. And they were just bringing out trays or like, I think it was like Mikkelab Ultra. And me and Jensen, I remember we were on like the 10. of the boat standing up just screaming like shotgun and beers and everything. And me and him were, I think, were pretty smoked. And all of a sudden the boat started moving, we're like, prey doesn't started yet. I think we drank our boat out of beer.

And, I mean, there's some pretty good pictures of me and Jensen, like standing on the tip of the boat before the prey started just for some of just yelling. I was just screaming for some reason. And then, yeah, we get to the, I remember, I mean, we were the whole time the boat, the boats were moving. We were drinking. And then we get to this, I don't know where we were at, but there's like a stage and everything and a bunch of, you know, a bunch of people were there.

I did like three interviews and I seen them on Twitter the next day. I did a pretty good job. Dude. Yes. It's amazing how you keep it together. I was like, yeah, I've done two. I was lucky enough to do two and they were land parades, okay, which I feel like a boat parade. People are even more blackout because if you're on a boat anyways, you get drunk.

Yeah. Like, so we were, I just, by the time we got to the end, they pulled me in Lane. Johnson side and they're like, yo, you guys want to talk? And we couldn't say no, but we were in no condition to talk. Yeah. To think that as a kid, if you were thinking you'd play in the NFL, that part of that equation was that you would be blackout on national TV. It's like a pretty, and not look too fucked up?

You did a pretty good job, man. You did a pretty good job. So how many beers could Tristan Wirth's drink? Because I don't know if it's like an Andre the giant thing with you or what. How many can you put down? One sitting, you think. Mickelow Bultras, because those are like... Those are like Bushlights, my go-to.

But you've been drinking the one with the corn on the cob on the can this summer? Yeah. Yeah, I got a full fridge. That's a, yeah, the corn cans, the buttered corn. It's delicious. Have you had the Bush apple yet? Yeah. Yeah, they sent me...

I stared at that. I stared at that in the aisle yesterday. How are those? They're pretty good. Okay. So how many of those bad boys could you put down the... the bush light, the standards. Quite a few.

Not like Andrejohn, but it's a lot. All right. So as far as your other great talents, because a lot of people know you for lifting trees, I just saw you jump on a 48-inch box. What was that the other day? That was this morning. Oh, this morning.

Okay, so you did something incredibly athletic this morning. It's really humbling to see you do stuff because I'm like, I don't know how I shared the field with guys like you, but I'm looking at this, and I'm thinking of myself, it says 345BW. Is that body weight?

Yeah. So you're weighing in at 345, and how heavy is that vest? 15 pounds. And it's a 48-inch box. What is the thing that you've done that's the most impressive to you, athletically and fulfilled?

I think probably the hand-clean I did. I think it was my sophomore year, maybe sophomore you're going into junior year at Iowa. We have a wall that has like our weight room records. and like I would walk past it every single day like going to lifting or going to practice and like I'd seen Sheriff had sure had two of the records he had the squad and the hand clean right and then gallery had the bench and they just seen like seeing like seeing those two guys at there and like coached me and coach had a lot of talks about all like those two guys and like I was like I really want my name up there

I couldn't get the bench record like that was I don't know what it was what it was unreal I was like I was like I think I could get the the hand clean record one day and like I started getting better at hand cleans. I started doing a lot more weight and everything. And I remember when I was like getting time to do it, I was like, you know, I knew we had max outs in a couple weeks. The week before Coach Doyle had recorded me,

he took a video of me doing 425 for a double and moved it pretty fast, you know, and he said, he told me he's like, watched this video every day. And that's what I did for the whole week. I probably watched that thing like 300 times. I remember I got to the facility that morning and guys were like, my teammates were like, oh, what are you going to have today? Because everyone knew I was going for it.

And I had no idea. I had no idea how much I was going to have or what I was going to do. And I remember getting warmed up, like warmed up for the hand clean, everything. And like stuff was moving fast. Like I was, I was feeling good. And then the last set of all of our lifts on our lift card is highlighted. We've got to take it to a strength coach. And so they got to like check it off.

So I took it to coach Doyle. And it said on the card it said like it said four and a quarter. and I was like, okay, well, that's not bad. And I see him, he scribbles it out and writes in $4.50. I was like, oh, I was like, holy cow. And so I'm like loading up the bar and like guys from the first group and guys came early in the third group. And they were like recruits in there and like all the coaching everything. They just started like circling around like where I was at.

And I was just loading up the bar. Like I started getting like all like amped up and music was real loud. You know, I get chocked. like the camera the cameras are in there. There's one guy in the rack in front of me. I get all chalked up and I'd like turn around and it's like, everybody's in there. And I picked it up off the rack.

It felt like nothing. I was just so amped up like the adrenaline was running. The first set and or the first rep and it went way higher than like, than I thought. I thought it was like hit here and I'd have to drop under it. I got it up. I got it up way high. I knew I needed three reps.

to break it because they'd be like the calculated max not like a one rep max it's like I did 450 for four and that was equaled 500 I don't know something but I knew I needed three I did first one did the second one like the I can hear just everybody and everything and it was just a crazy environment and I was at three and I knew I broke it and then I did four and it's just like the place that it blew up I like threw the weight down everything and I thought that was probably that was probably the most like bro there is nothing more high than max out day in college, bro. Here's a deal.

Guys don't lift the same in the NFL. Like, you know probably from coming in the locker room and in the weight room and thinking like, some of these older guys really don't lift a lot because as your body changes, we can't do the things that y'all superhuman young guys can do. And I wonder if you like, if the weight coach was just obsessed with you as soon as you walked into Tampa, he was like, we're going to be best friends. And like, you're going to be with me every day. Yeah.

So I always, when I'm down there, his name is Corey. Like I left with him every day. I got pretty close with him. But yeah, Max out day in college football. Like, it's a good time. Can anybody on the Bucks beat you in wrestling? You were a tremendous wrestler in high school, right? I don't know about tremendous.

I don't know about tremendous, but I was okay. I don't know that anybody would want to wrestle you, though. How much did you weigh in high school? So my senior year, I cut from 325 down to 285 to wrestle. And you can wrestle at 285. That's the, yeah, that's the max. Cut off. I mean, fuck that, dude.

Like, if I see you on my schedule, I'm just like, hey, I got a mononucleosis, man. I'm out, bro. I mean, dudes were like disqualifying themselves, getting ready to wrestle you. How much does that help with football? Is there actually a crossover? 100%. Yeah, absolutely. I think wrestling is the best thing I've done, you know, for my football career.

It's just down in the trench. It's, like, it's the same thing, you know, it's, you got to have your footwork right. And I think for like for a big thing for me like in college I was in some weird I got into some funky positions at pass pro like just I don't know how but like in wrestling you get in scrambles and you don't know what's up and what's down at heavyweight. You don't get in a whole bunch of them. But I got in a couple. It's just like it helps you with body control like your hand like hand fighting still the whole basis of wrestling pretty much. You know, hand placement and everything and you know your footwork. If I would go back, I would I would 100% wrestle again. Is. professional wrestling real yeah i don't want to jump off a 12 foot ladder and land on my back that's i'm saying i'm with you it's not real like the outcome we know it's stage right we know it's stage it's yeah but i'm not going to go jump off a lap like i'm not going to go do that stuff no i agree with you on to some tables and shit like those guys are absolutely athletes another athletic feat that you have is uh is is is eating four scrambled eggs with cheesy has brown six pieces of bacon

You know, two burgers, a container of Coleslaw, container of potatoes out, a lot of chocolate cake, four slices of bread, chips, and queso, one entire meat-loversed pizza, a container of chocolate cake and sleeve of Oreos of milk, which is great after 10 p.m. You're eating this? I guess your girlfriend posted this. This is your daily diet, or what's the truth? Oh, no. So she, I mean, she likes TikTok and everything. And at that time, that was like, there was like a trend or whatever people posting that. And it's, over like three days like so we had four days before camp started or something like or we had a couple of days off before right before camp we had like the ramp up period last year then a couple

days off and the camp started I'm like you know what I'm going to eat what I want to eat you know these couple days somewhere in like three different shirts in the video I think and she like clipped them together and she posted it I didn't think it was going to blow up like that and then it got like a million views I was like never what he thinks I'm like a fat slob like I don't know I just think you're an enormous cat with good metabolism like here's the deal like I look at that and I'm just more amazed because if I ate that, the only place is going is my belly, and you're using it for fuel, which is incredible. And so, like, I think back to overeating before a hot training camp practice.

And that's, like, the worst thing you can do. And I wonder, like, what do you do before a game? What do you do before a training camp practice? Because there are two different things for a football player. Like, if I vomit on the field down in Tampa, like, no big deal, you know, if I have, like, a hamburger stuck here. Yeah. You know that feeling, though.

you get out on the hot field, some of that, uh, the pole slaw and the potato salad and that sort of stuff. I couldn't imagine going and practicing in the Tampa heat on a belly full of cold slaw. Like I love coleslaw, but that, with that, like, sends shivers down my spine. Before practice, I got to like have, I got to like eat like good stuff, like good fuel because it's so hot down there. And I lose, I lose like 14 pounds of practice. It's like, it's like, especially in camp because it's so warm. But like the food at the facility is like pretty good, like healthy food and good for you, like good fuel. But no, I couldn't go out to practice on a on a belly full of meat lovers pizza and coleslaw and Oreos. Yeah, I'd throw up. That'd be that'd be rough.

Did you eat that plate of lemon pepper, orange chicken from Buffalo Wild Wings that they made for you after the Super Bowl? I saw that on, on social. And I was wondering if you really, if you really dove into that, that setting you had there. So that was, so there was like five people at my house for that there was like my two buddies my girlfriend and Alyssa was there she called me the night before and was like asking what I wanted like for for that for that deal and everything and it was I got the call on the way back from the boat parade so I was like give me everything I was like I was smoked ordering Buffalo Aldwings like you could that and you're a champion and it's like over dude the picture is how that call came out I was like I was like fried pickle onion rings we ordered a bunch

different ruins and they came out with this sauce the champa bay sauce fire so good and i was like just order and everything we maybe ate like half like that's a lot of food there there's a lot of food there oh hell yeah it looks delicious though i'm like actually hungry right now as soon as we wrap i'm gonna go eat i'm starving yeah perfect meal you're going you're going to the chair what's your what's tristan worse uh meal chicken and corn casserole my mom makes it it's the best thing in the entire world That was a quick answer, too. You've already thought about this? I've thought about it.

It's my go-to. Last one here. Iowa, there used to be a place called the airline right here. Is that still there? Yep. How many dollar slices can you eat on a Sunday? That was like, that was the place, like, when I was in college, like, we had this thing called, like, black card and we'd get, like, on certain days of the week, we get, like,

$20 to these certain restaurants. we could go, like, go eat. Always go get, you got to go get pizza. I mean, you have to. We wouldn't get, I don't know if we'd do the slices. Like, we would just normally, like, me and my two roommates would go order a couple pizzas, and it's good stuff, though. Oh, my God, dude.

After you're 30 and that metabolism slows down, that's when you kind of pick and choose. But when I was your age, maybe a pizza and a half easy, and you got me about about 100 pounds. I can't even imagine. Tristan, man, really enjoyed it. I'm wishing your luck this year. already one of the best doing it. So keep riding, man.

Love the way you play. You got any more good? Yeah, I got good. I had a birthday. And I'm only mentioning this because birthdays are sweet. And you think you're anti-birthday. You think, oh, everybody has one. You didn't do anything. You were just born.

Yeah, all right. Well, life's hard. Okay. We get one day out of 365. They should be celebrated. I hear from people I haven't heard from in a long time. I don't hear from others who you think I would. I just think that they're terrific,

even though mine low-key sucked ass. I think they're worthy. I think they're worthy of our taking time out of our days to acknowledge the people in our lives who have taken. in another trip around the sun, which is kind of trippy to think about, you know? That's what it marks. I don't know if you knew that.

Well, yeah, yeah, yeah. Did you, I know the whole trip around the sun thing. Did you, where was I in the line of well wishes on your birthday eight, you said? In terms of text messages, you were number eight. That's pretty damn good, dude, especially considering I'm two hours west of you. You were in the six o'clock hour local time, which is V impressive. but I couldn't help but notice during the July 8th taping of our July 9th podcast, you did not mention my July 9th birthday comments.

Well, see, the thing about that is, you know, the people that I wished a happy birthday earlier, they're not personal friends. And there are some things I like to keep personal, keep between me and friends. If it's very special, I do it in person. Is that right? Yeah. Okay. I noticed you tweeted happy birthday to me on my birthday.

Was that more of a personal type? Did you mean to DM? That was supposed to be a direct message. Okay. All right. I sent you a Giff and everything and I added you in the direct message just to be sure that you knew I was wishing you a happy birthday. It just went out to like 500,000 people. But as far as the podcast is concerned, yeah, I mean, like, don't.

worry about it, man. Don't worry about it. Your birthday is very important this year because it's the first one that I've like predictably committed to memory. The thing about it is, it wasn't on my calendar, July 8th. Your birthday's July 9th. You don't get two days. You get one day, okay? I'm not texting Brock Lesner on July 12th. You got the text to 630. You got the tweet. I'd say you had a pretty good birthday when it comes to friends in Montana. You know what's not so good? I have people in my telephone and not in my telephone, but I have people whose names I've saved in my telephone who they're great about texting on my birthday, but that's the

entirety of our exchange. So there's one person that goes seven years back. They wish me a happy birthday. I say thank you. And that's it. I don't know their birthday. That's why birthdays are unimportant. Birthdays are unimportant.

Okay. First off, it's the biggest part. Trophy in life. Like literally, we said this before and maybe he's just setting me up for this rant, but you got born. Congratulations. Like every other person that you've ever seen, birthdays are for children and people who should be thankful to be here. And I'm not talking about, I almost got hit by car once. I'm talking about like, you're going through some serious shit right this moment. Okay. Like, so I'm just not a big birthday guy personally, but I totally respect the fact that people like to be wished a happy birthday.

At the same time, I will say this, don't wish yourself a happy birthday. I mean, you can, but come on, dude. Like, I know it's a big thing, happy birthday to me on Instagram. I know a lot of my friends might do it. I don't think anything less of you. I just think the post is, it's funny.

And that's not me. Yeah, that's a try hard deal right there. I, yeah, hey, today's your birthday. Happy birthday. I hope it's stellar. You have earned it. It's very difficult getting born, actually. I've come to learn this calendar year.

You remember it well? You remember it well? Well, I remember my daughter. And actually, we pulled out a photo album, Chris, and I saw the day I was born. It looked like I had gone through some shit, frankly. Sometimes, yeah, from what I hear. So anyways, yeah, kudos. kudos to the moms out there.

I mean, like, kudos to, kudos to your lovely wife, Kate, and to your lovely daughter. But when she becomes an adult, it's not as big a deal. Do you know how old I am, by the way? How old are you are, 35? Like how you repeat the question,

buy yourself a little time, come on with the number, and you came out with the right number. So congrats. Tough crowd here. He wants an early birthday wish. He wants me to know his age, you know, before he asked the question.

Are you seeing a pattern here? It is Richard Simmons' birthday tomorrow. Oh, no, it's Richard Simmons' birthday hour today. He's 73. Christy Yamaguchi is 50 today. Anna Friel, who I've never heard of, but she seems lovely. She is, I don't even want to say, I don't know how old she is today. Brock Lesnar is 44 today.

And then tomorrow, your today, our tomorrow. We've got Cheech from Cheech and Chong, you know, the drugs movie. He's 74, which goes to Shoech. show him and Willie Nelson are proof that like smoking weeds not bad for you. I mean, these guys are pillars of health. Harrison Ford is 78. Michael McDonald and Willie Nelson just put out a fucking single together. Willie's like 85. He's just anyways, Harrison Ford is 78. That's really going to mess you up when he turns 80, right? Guy's been in three to five playing crashes, off screen. And he's still kicking. He crashed into a golf course one year. It was just like Harrison

Ford crashes playing again on a golf course. Oh, one more. MF Doom, who passed away last year, sadly, would have had a birthday today. So we're going to add Doom's Day to layup line today. Taylor, you got me? Loud and clear. I got you.

I used to cop a lot. Another cop, no drop. Hold mics like pointails tight and bobble ops. All right. So we got some voicemails. Somebody suggested that we do a little quick segment on, you know, people telling their. stories about the worst times they met celebrities or athletes do you have any yeah guy by the name

of richie incognito besides richie incognito who you've told this story a few times you know i don't think i've had a lot of bad encounters i peed right behind let me rephrase i was in line to pee right behind magic johnson at madison square garden and he left the toilet in good shape i mean it's maybe not the ideal setting to meet a Magic Johnson in a bathroom? That's the only place to meet a Magic Johnson. But no, by and large, the famous people that I have met, usually in conjunction with you somehow, been lovely. That's good. I try to curate them for you as we've curated these messages.

But for that Ryan Rissillo, he's an asshole. Talon was hack, according to you. All right, hit us with it, Taylor. We got some good voicemails. We haven't heard anything. Yeah, we have, here's your first one. Chris, what's up? This is Justin Sutherland from Lowell, Massachusetts.

Live out here in Virginia now. Twitter handles Jay South 33. So meeting what I thought was going to be my idol at the time, 1995, AFC championship game. I get woken up at like three in the first. morning by the boys club bus driver telling me he's got an extra ticket to go i'm hyped as shit seven years old we get out there we get to go on the practice field watching these guys warm up and then we get to run on the fucking field under the flag um so we get out there we're running

around they're doing the anthem teams are lined up on the sides of the field they're all hyped ready to fucking go and i'm running down the line i'm seeing chris blade and and ben coached and all these guys and then i come across through bledzo my idol i i i did, you know, all this stuff in school on them. grew up in Washington State, played at Washington State, did all this stuff. And I go up to him, and the only thing I brought with me that scrounge up was this rinky dink CVF memo no pad that we stopped and got on the way there. And I grabbed a Sharpie, and I run up all excited. Hey, Drew, can I get your autograph?

And I don't know if this is verbatim. He may not cuss. I'm not sure. So I'm not going to quote this. maybe it was in less words but it was basically like get the fuck away from me kids and i just died right there on that field luckily we you know we went on one but far whipped our ass in the super bowl so it is what it is but that's my story about meeting your hero at that time and then you know not what you thought it was going to be so that's that's my stuff hopefully it's good

enough for the pod take care well i love the accent you haven't lost the accent welcome to a god's country. Hey, shit happens. I'm not going to, maybe in your mind's eye it was different. I mean, Drew Bledz of such a classy guy. I doubt, I don't know. What do you say, mate? Well, color me shocked that the fellow from Mass has 33 at the end of his Twitter handle. I believe the story, it jogged my memory from when we were about 16 years old. Anna Kornikova is on a redemption tour playing a bunch of small tennis tournaments. That's right. She gets back into form.

And we're a teenager. So she's playing nearby at the Boers Head Inn. And I do something that is definitely illegal or illegal adjacent. See her walking off the court. She's going with her coach back to her hotel room. So a couple buddies and I follow her. Back to her hotel room. That's that's totally.

standard 16 year old stuff, huh? Right. Now, she can be in any one of like four rooms. We lagged a little bit behind. We were on a mission here. We couldn't be too obvious. At any rate, we knock on a couple doors and we get to the right room. On a Kornikova, I shit you not, opens the door in a bathrobe and goes, and I'm going to do the accent, and I mean, no offense to anyone. This is my fucking room. Get the fuck out. And that was it. She slammed the door.

And so then I wrote my college admissions essay to the University of Michigan all about how I stalked Anacornicova and how it, as our guy said, it can be difficult to meet your hero sometimes. And Michigan called our high school and said, hey, this guy was sort of on the fringe here. But that really creepy essay put him over the top. I got into Michigan because of the, because of stalking Anna Kornikova.

You got into Michigan by admitting that you were a creep. Yes. Yep. And do we call her Anna Kornikova? Am I being? I don't know. I don't know, but can we publicly apologize for what you did? Yes.

I would like to publicly apologize to Anna Kornikova for everything I just said I did. Yeah, it was bad. It was real bad. Big fan. Big fan if you'd like to come on the pod. Probably the most embarrassing thing you've ever said on this podcast. So hit us with another voice about. But yeah, Drew Bledsoe, good guy.

I'm sure as a kid that felt crushing even if you said to get away. And sometimes you can hear it a little bit different. Also a tough place to get an autograph signed on the field. Pre-game. Yeah, a FC championship. Maybe you looked like you were a little older than seven, and he thought you were like a teenager. Yeah, I don't know what to tell you.

If the cat ran up to you pre-game, what do you do? If it's a kid, I'm pretty young. probably going to sign and I'm probably going to look at his parents like just okay can you get control the kid like eye security a little bit like why what's going on here yeah exactly but our security guy would snatch him a big big dom boo would have said hey you want to sign this dom shout up to dom up there in philly I would have told dom I say find that kid after the game let's get an autograph I'm doing warm-ups and don would have been like I got you boo all right we got a eagle fan here I think he might have been a little occupied while recording his message but I'll let

you guys figure that out for yourself. Hey, this is Nick out here on the West Coast, even though I'm a huge bird fan. My story is from the 2005 NFL Pro Bowl. Right after the Eagles went to the Super Bowl, I was lucky enough to go to Hawaii. And I was wearing my T.O. jersey on the Hilton campus, and I see T.O. and his bodyguards, and I'm probably nine years old at that time, and T.O. wouldn't sign my jersey. Super bummed. I still love T.O. to some degree, but definitely super disappointed. And other news, though, Joey Porter, signed my jersey after chugging six classes of ice water.

So that was my highlight. Miss the Pro Bowl and Hawaii. Cheers. Love the show. So players, especially skill players, turn down autographs all the time. Especially when they have bodyguards. If you have a bodyguard, chances are you're probably not going to get a, you know, an autograph. If you see your favorite and that person has, uh, security around them, it's probably a no go. But, um, yeah, the, the, the water sound there. Hot brown coming down, no doubt. You know, there was a hot brown coming down. No doubt. No question. My man was taking a dues. Yes. Correct. Good for him. Yeah, no. I mean,

there's a power move calling in the show and just, just sending a gerbil off the high dive down there. I mean, like, it's a power move. I'll say that. Anchors away. Next one, and then Megan's got to go. Hey, this is Michael Kist. My Twitter handle is at Michael Kist NFL. I had a story about meeting an athlete.

So I grew up in the Philadelphia area, later moved near Clearwater, Florida. And I want to say it was about 12 years ago, me and Darren Dalton of the Phillies three-time all star catcher all that. We used to frequent the same bar. We had never talked or met or anything like that, but we went to the same bar. First time I had an interaction with him was I was sitting at the bar. My back was turned to him. He approaches me from behind. And all I feel like this presence, like next to my ear, like to the point where like, I think he may have like slightly nuzzled my ear with his nose. And he asked me for a light. And I kind of turn around and I see that it's him and I had just gotten a book of matches because I had forgotten my lighter.

So I grab a book of matches and I give it to him. I'm like, here, take the whole thing. It was so weird. So he takes it and nods and walks away. And that was that. I do some Googling in the meantime. I find out maybe he's gone a little bit insane or what the case may be. Two weeks later, same bar.

Derek Dalton is there again. I'm like, oh, man, this is kind of creepy. So I'm sitting at the bar again. He's sitting at a table behind me. and all of a sudden he walks up to my right side and he's got a plate that's got a burger and some fries on it. And he goes, hey, man, I wasn't as hungry as I thought, do you want this burger? And he sets the plate down of this burger. And his burger has like one bite taken out of.

And I don't know, maybe he'd take that to fries or something like that. I'm like, no, man, I'm good. I'm really not that hungry. He's like, no, no, no, I don't want it to go to waste. Here you go, man. And he just sets the plate down and he walks away. And it was the weirdest two interactions that I've had with an athlete. for sure. And that's the whole story, him nuzzling my ear, asking for a light and then giving me

just not even half eating burger and just leaving it for me. So that's my story. Love a pie, man. Thank you. Oh, man, what the hell was going on with Darren Dalton? I did hear he was an eccentric cat. That's classic. I mean, the ear nuzzling thing is a little bit odd, but the burger thing. I mean, who wants a burger to go to waste? Guy probably just felt bad. Dutch, man. I get Darren Dalton confused sometimes with Lenny Dykstra,

and yet maybe that's not right. They might be kindred spirits. Darren Dalton's no longer with us. But a lot of similarities between those two cats, I feel like. Well, Lenny Dykstra is an all-timer. Making, you got to run, you got to do some real estate. I'll close the show with two or three more voicemails and see if we got any solid gold.

All right, bro. You take care. Take care yourself. Flush the toilet when you leave. All right, Taylor. Hit me with some more. Hey there, Chris Long. This is the judge from Twitter.

So, 1991, Shreveport, Louisiana, watching and went to a Van Halen concert. Didn't know anything about Allison Chains really at the time, other than Man in the Box. and had me a few before the show and started flipping Olane the bird and homeboy jumped down and popped me in the head once. Mike Starr spit at me and hit the guy next to me who really wasn't happy about that. Anyway, then he commenced to calling me a few names after their set. That's about it, man.

and I love Allison Chains now, though. So, all right, that's my whole story. I mean, I don't know any other celebrities. All right. Have a good, man. Taylor, what was that guy's name? So I can address him? The judge.

Judge, all right. So the judge, I told him when he tweeted at me that Lane Staley punched him in the head. Lane Staley, of course, Allison Chains frontman, criminally, underrated band. I mean, not by people who know that scene or that like Allison Chains with just, you know, we'd been down this road before talking about Seattle and that grunge time period. But like, if you got punched in the head by Lane Staley, you have one of the best stories at any dinner party you ever go to. And I love the fact that the judge realized that it was kind of part of the game and that he grew to love Allison Chains. How could you not?

All around a pretty incredible story. And I guess the follow would be, and you're welcome to call back in, Mr. Judge. But did it hurt? Was it an overhand right? Was it a hook? How did he look throwing that punch? I could see Lane Staley being a really chaotic puncher. Like not like a, you know, not like a technical, like I'm going to throw my right cross and

and I know how to guard. And I know, I just think Lane Staley was punching off just pure emotion. and I'm very curious how that felt. But that's an amazing story, dude. That might be the best one. It had nothing to do with athletes. So shout out to the judge. Oh, yeah, there's one more.

I can't fucking believe this is real. Amazing. The guy called in and got too excited, forgot to leave a message. Well, that's my favorite one we got right there. So shout out to that guy. So, yeah, makes off selling real estate. I'm closing the show out. And we'll be back later this week with more.

Hope y'all are having a great one. Y'all take care.