Green Light with Chris Long - Tyler Hansbrough! NCAA Tournament, NBA Career & UNC Legacy! NFL Coaches Photo & April Fools Pranks!

Episode Date: April 1, 2025

PSYCHO T! Tyler Hansbrough joins Chris and Macon to talk the NCAA Tournament, Duke basketball, Tyler's career at UNC, in the NBA and overseas in China, as well as some amazing stories from his playing days. After talking basketball, Chris and Macon dive into White Lotus and Severance (SPOILERS) then talk the NFL Coaches Meeting photo, that can be found here. After roasting those coaches and their fits, Chris and Macon get goofy and since it is April Fools, do some pranking. Just calling a few folks and serving untruths. A blast and a half, enjoy it! (00:00) - Intro (7:23) - Tyler Hansbrough On The 2025 NCAA Tournament, His Legacy At UNC And Stories From His NBA Career (52:53) - White Lotus & Severance (SPOILERS) (1:00:19) - Roasting The NFL Coaches Picture (1:18:40) - APRIL FOOLS! Green Light Podcast March Madness Tournament! Click the link below to fill out the form granting you entry into the GLP bracket! Prizes include 1st place $500, 2nd place $250, 3rd place $100 in Bet MGM gift cards. Must be 21+ to be eligible for a prize. https://docs.google.com/forms/d/e/1FAIpQLScbnomKvB7t2zNKqvKNMstq_P2HClxciUC95moAHD-mDIKcyg/viewform Have some interesting takes, some codebreaks or just want to talk to the Green Light Crew? We want to hear from you. Call into the Green Light Hotline and give us your hottest takes, your biggest gripes and general thoughts. Day and night, this hotline is open. Green Light Hotline: ‪[phone]‬ In need of sweet threads to vibe like Chris and the fellas? Check out https://greenlightpodcast.org/ for everything merch wise and then some! Also, check out our paddling partners at Appomattox River Company to get your canoes, kayaks and paddleboards so you're set to hit the river this summer. https://paddleva.com/ Green Light's YouTube Channel, where you can catch all the latest GL action: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCgxWFAA-wuB7osdiAJyLOcw Green Light with Chris Long: Subscribe and enjoy weekly content including podcasts, documentaries, live chats, celebrity interviews and more including hot news items, trending discussions from the NFL, MLB, NHL, NBA, NCAA are just a small part of what we will be sharing with you. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

I've always hated Duke, but I'm having a hard time hating them because Shire seems cool. They play differently than the old Duke teams. Can you help us hate Duke? Snap us out of it. Yeah, it's still Duke. I can tell you that. But I will say Duke's been a juggernaut all year. And Shire's done a great job, especially with coaching these young kids,

because a lot of teams that have had a lot of success lately, they're not as young as what Duke is now with Cooper Flag, con can nipple and the now you watch kid those are all freshmen and so it's rare to see a team like that that's so young make such a deep run and have you know success throughout the whole year but yeah i still hate duke i mean it got a lot of respect for him but i had them losing the first game like i told everybody against the 16th season welcome to the greenlight podcast presented by bedmgm if you haven't signed up for betmgm yet use bonus code greenlight and you will get up to a $1,500 first bet offer on your first wager with BetMGM.

Here's how it works. Download the BetMGM app and sign up using bonus code Greenlight. Deposit at least $10 and place your first wager on any game. If that bet loses, you will receive up to $1,500 in bonus bets. Just make sure you use bonus code Greenlight when you sign up. Welcome to the Greenlight podcast. A packed show for you today and won Chalk full of laughs. It's April Fool, so we had to have a good time. We kicked things off at Tyler

Hansborough. He talks a little bit about the NCAA tournament. What he thinks about Duke, Houston, Auburn, and Florida. And he talks about his career in the NBA in China, tell some stories. After Tyler, we talk a little White Lotus and Severance. Make sure you know that there's some spoilers in that part of the show. And then we talk a little football, the NFL coach's photo. It sets the world on fire about this time of year. Chris goes through with his takes, who had the best fits who needs to up their game next year and then we have too much fun we get a little goofy we start praying calling some people it's april fools so just enjoy all right here's how this show's going to go we're going to have psycho t on tyler hansborough you remember him he was i mean like

is there anybody more villainous from our upbringing as acc kids non-unc fans like think about it it was the biggest villain in college sports back then j j j reddick I don't know, bro. I've got a lot of years of getting a note JJ Reddick and it's hard for me to imagine hating him anymore. I know. Him in his little puka shells.

I know. Now he's coaching the Lakers. Him in that piece of shit, Tommy Alter, worst commissioner ever in fantasy football history. Psycho Teeth. That's a old. Old man in the three.

Fits the mold. But he only went like seven and one against Virginia. Yeah. So he was a great guest. We've got him coming on in a couple of minutes right now, basically. and we're going to talk a little bit about this year's tournament as well as him telling stories about China.

Some of the funniest stories he told was about his time over in China playing in the Chinese Basketball Association. Is that right? You got it. Nihow. And is that funny? That I can speak Mandarin? No, you got a funny text. Oh, did you?

Yeah, yeah. Well, we want to tell you about it. Tyler's coming up and then after that coming out of Tyler we're going to What we're gonna do talk? Hey right when we get out of the white or the Tyler white right we get out of the white basketball player interview We have a white lotus moment or two so we will put read you can do something to warn people You know not to listen for spoilers the first five minutes out of Tyler is going to be white lotus spoilers And severance spoilers except that nothing really much happens in the first show you mentioned so how can there be a spoiler? I You're such a hater.

So we got PsychoT. We're going to talk a little bit about the tournament, but we dive right into the coaches picture at the league meeting, which has become the best thing going in sports media this week every year. So enjoy that. We're going to fry the coaches a little bit. There's a lot to talk about there. And then we kind of run out of steam,

and we decide because our podcast, drops tomorrow, April 1st, that we are technically allowed to April Fool's People on March 31st. That's right. So we called a bunch of people and told them that Kyle Long. Is joining the Army, including my dad. So stick around for that. We even called Kyle to see what he had to say about it. And making prank calls the Green Bay Packers.

That's right. So that's all. They told them that Kyle was joining the Army. We're so goofy right now because we just wrapped up doing 30 minutes of prank calls. So, you know, hey, listen, I told you earlier this week. I can't promise you hard-hitting analysis every day of the week. There's just not that much to talk about right now. So let's talk some basketball with Psycho T.

401C made the final four. Hey, oh, by the way, I was coming in here to shit all over Oz the mentalist and be like, what a loser. Oh, cool. You picked all four. So did like 300,000 people. and then my co-host nailed it. That's right.

And actually, I think you're really smart. Thank you. I think he's, it's all. Oz, the mentalist, making the real estate agent. That's right. It's only happened twice ever. You know how long ever is? Forever.

That's right. Tell me about what went into your thought process there. With the four ones? Yeah. Sure. This will sound a lot like two weeks ago. I'm trying to tee you up to get your flowers. Oh, right.

Thanks. You know, the teams that are really good for these five months, you know, they're going against teams that have been average for only five months and bad for only five months. I think you're seeing a lot more upsets when the great players are at the smaller Cinderella schools than when they level up to these Auburns and Florida's and then just dominate everybody else. And like I told you, there were only six potential winners when we started this thing, and four of them were Auburn, Florida, Duke, Houston. Who wins it?

Duke. Duke is the best team. And I don't hate them anymore. Not this team. I agree. They're kind of fun. They play hard. They play defense.

They still cry when their coach doesn't win ACC coach of the year. All right. Well, here's Psycho T and then enjoy some BS on the back half. All right, this is great. We don't do a lot of basketball guests, but when I heard we could get Tyler Hansborough, I was all in. Because we got a history with this guy. At least we used to watch him on TV and probably despise him.

But I've listened to him on stuff now, and he seems like the greatest dude in the world. So I'm super excited to have him on. And he's our age. And he's our age. And I just told you, I spent a little time in the UNC subreddit world. Did you? The last day or so. You have Jordan, Perkins, Worthy, Sheed, Stackhouse, Antoine, all these guys.

he's widely considered the best basketball player at the best basketball school. It's pretty incredible. Welcome to show, Tyler. Guys, thanks for having me on. And Chris, I told you before, you're not the only one that feels that way, but I'm glad, you know, you do think I'm a good guy now because a lot of people don't. But, yeah, I love you and seeing those guys. I stayed here quite a bit longer than they did.

But, yeah, it's good company. Well, I guess the first question considering y'all's rival is still in it. Duke and they look pretty strong. I'm having a hard. I've always hated Duke, but I'm having a hard time hating them because Shire seems cool. And they're just, they play differently than the old Duke teams. Can you help us hate Duke?

Snap us out of it. Yeah, it's still Duke. I can tell you that. And, you know, there may be some new faces, but, you know, it's the same old, same old. It's still a private school. I'm a public, you know, a public school kid. and, you know, there's a lot of that, you know, up-a-e mentality a little bit.

But I will say Duke's been a juggernaut all year, and Shire's done a great job, especially with coaching these young kids because a lot of teams that have had a lot of success lately, they're not as young as what Duke is now with Cooper Flag, Concanipple, and the Nauiwatch kid. Those are all freshmen. And so it's rare to see a team like that that's so young make such a deep run, you know success throughout the whole year but yeah i still hate duke i mean it got a lot of respect for him but i had them losing the first game like i told everybody against the 16th scene well that's never how well that happened once twice now twice we're off we're the first one we're the first one

uh before we go back into this tournament i did hear that you hate nc state maybe almost as much or is it in in the neighborhood of duke you know it's um yeah i do i do i I dislike state play for it. You know, states they've been through it. I mean, they were once kind of a powerhouse, and, you know, they still had that same mentality. Listen, there's no boundaries with NC State.

At least Duke's respectable. They had a lot of success. But State, they will let you have it, no matter what the situation is. But the Will Wade hired for NC State, that is just, I don't think there's a perfect or a better fit in college basketball than Will Wade to NC State. I actually really like Will Wade, but it's going to be tough to do when he's on that NC State sideline.

Were you just overjoyed when they got knocked off when they made that deep run? What was that two years ago? Last year. Last year, final four. Yeah. Hey, hey, they're, I tell everybody, they're due for a magical run every 30 or 40 years. But, no, I mean, I like watching the DJ Burns kid. You know, I'm a big man.

And in today's game, it's rare to see somebody put in a work. in the post. So I was glad to see that and, you know, a lot of aspects of the game that I really liked the physicality he brought. But yeah, it was cool to watch, but somebody came up to me and they said, don't you like watching NC State? Aren't you pulling for him? I said there's no scenario we'll ever pull for NC State, but I enjoyed watching the run. That's great. I respect that. All right, we need to get your 30,000 foot take on college hoops on the one side of the bracket with Florida and Auburn, we've all seen that graphic. Two out of the 10 starters began their careers at that school.

We have kids from Iona, Moorhead State, Belmont, FAU. A lot of these schools that were popular Cinderella's are now on these juggernaut powerhouse teams. Are you fired up to see the four best teams in this final four? or are you wanting that capital M March Madness feel that we've had historically when all these great players were at some smaller schools? Yeah, I think, you know, and my opinion is I think this perspective has gotten a little overblown. I think the Cinderella stories in 2008, there was no NIL or portal, and there was all four number one seeds made it to the funnel for.

I was there. there's a tough one for us too but no i like to see the you know the best teams in the final four i think that's the way it should be uh but um the transfer portal to me in college basketball i just think there's too much change for kids i think uh it's kind of hurting the game you know i love basketball and i love to see uh high quality basketball i'm not sure the coaches or the kids are getting coach like they used to uh when i was in school just because kids leave the and it's hard to really develop a kid. But the one school I will say that I really enjoy watching is Houston

because they play hard, physical, they play the right way. And I think Calvin Samson's done a great job. It hasn't got a lot of credit for what he's done there. But, you know, the Florida team, they've been playing well. Todd Golden's done a good job there. Elijah Martin was part of that. I think it was at run. I forgot what team he was on.

FAU. Maybe FAU? Yeah. Yeah. So, you know, it's good to see a kid that can go from one program and have success at another program instantly. A lot of these transfers aren't really seeing that. We've had a lot of guys go from one program to the next. I haven't really turned into better situations. You talked about the last time this happened with four number ones. You were there to see it. You know, I'm reading about some of the Ken Palm stuff that you obsess over and the efficiency ratings. Yeah. And, you know, like talking about, hey, these two, these four teams are all 30 and I'm taking. 35 or whatever, whatever it is.

They're saying these are the best teams ever, if you're to believe Ken Palm, basically. Like, is that, am I reading that wrong? You're right. Four of the best 10 ever. So do you think, POM going back to 96? And I'm asking both of you all because I know you obsess over this stuff, Megan, but I want to hear what Tyler say is, is it, is it a product of the average team not being, as good because of the transfer portal? You know, is it a little bit of that?

Is it the changing landscape and the metrics can't account for the changing landscape compared to what you were used to? I think it's absolutely hurt the product. I don't think the teams right now are as good as maybe when we didn't have the transfer portal. And the reason I say that is because a lot of, you know, I want to, we won it my senior year. We came in there with the class in 2005. 2006, Danny Green, Marcus Kenyard, myself, Bobby Frazier, Mike Copeland, and we all developed and became a championship team our senior year.

You're not seeing really teams stay together and build that chemistry. And I think living and actually practicing with, you know, the same group of guys throughout years has a huge effect. It's chemistry and team building. But also, it's hard to coach guys from year to year. and I do think they've got to smooth it out. And Chris, I'll say about Kim Palm is if you were to watch most of the games this year, you wouldn't need Kim Palm to really tell you who the best four teams are. That's the one thing about analytics is people get so into it,

but sometimes it's just the obvious answers. Like Houston's been good all year. Duke's been good all year. Florida has been good all year. These teams have been doing the thing all year. So the analytics sometimes get a little blown out of proportion. Going back to Duke, I want to ask you about flag.

Two questions. Number one, is he done growing? Like, did you play with anybody in college that continue to get taller? Because he's so damn young and he's so damn tall. That team's so long in general. And then two, is there a pro comp for him that you've seen? Man, if he's not done growing, I mean, if he's going to grow more, that's scary. Man, he just impacts the game in so many different levels.

And a lot of people are talking about how young he is. It's like 18. Yeah. Super young. I mean, I never even thought about the fact that if he grows two or three inches. Right. Yeah. I mean, you know, people laugh, but that's a game changer.

Like those two, three inches, like adding that height, that makes a huge difference, especially in the NBA. My pro comp for flag would definitely be, I think maybe Andre Carolinko, just because Carolinko impacted the game. in so many different ways. He did it defensively. He was a shot blocker. He challenged guys. I think Flagg may be a little bit better score. And Carol Lincoln may be just a touch more athletic, but it's really hard to compare an 18-year-old to a kind of a season NBA guy. But if he grows two or three inches, better watch out. Well, yeah, because I watched the Janus doc the other day,

and I don't know how old he was his rookie year, but he grew like two, three inches or something. It's not to say it's going to happen to Cooper. flag, but it kind of scared the shit out of me if he stays in school and keeps growing. We have to get used to this guy. So having said all that with Auburn being, I saw something where Auburn's average age is older than the Hawks, the Wizards, the Jazz, the Raptors. I think they're like 23 years old on average or something like that. Does that really matter in this scenario or does that not outweigh how long guys have

been together? You know what I'm saying? Yeah, that has a huge impact. And I've, that's kind of why Duke's, you know, run has been so, you know, it's been so impressive is because there's a huge difference in a 23-year-old. I think even somebody said they have a 26-year-old. I don't know if that's true or not, but there's a huge difference in like your body, your strength, years of training versus like a kid coming out of high school.

You know, they play football. I mean, tell me, I mean, there's a, you know, a 24-year-old that's. It's been training that's put in the work versus some kid that's come out of high school. It has a high ceiling. It really touched his potential or really had a lot of weight room experience. I mean, there's just so much difference physically and athletically with that age gap. What do you think made you so ready your freshman year? Because, I mean, you came on the scene and you were scoring and you were widely regarded as one of the best players in the league immediately.

So like what made you ready? Were you throwing weights around in high school? Were you, because your physical style of play showed up immediately? I, you know, my freshman, well, my freshman year in high school, I walked in there. I was 6-6-180. I was super skinny. Yeah. And I didn't really have a lot of weight room experience.

And I still played really physical and kind of inside guy. But, you know, the strength wasn't always there. that was something that I had to put in. But actually, the nutrition was a big deal for me. I wasn't eat. I barely ate in high school. And I started working with the trainer, then started out a little bit of weight. But when I got to Carolina, they had just won the national championship the year before.

And so they had some really good players that I initially was supposed to go in there and kind of come off the bench for Sean May, who I thought would have been a great teammate and somebody that I could really, really learn a lot from, but he decided to go pro. And when I was getting recruited, I didn't really, you know, expect to have this huge gap where I went to Carolina. I was just kind of, you know, thrown in the fire and got a lot of experience that a lot of freshmen don't get right from the start because a lot of their team left to go to the NBA draft.

And so I started playing right away my freshman year. And obviously, Carolina, Coach Williams, they went inside like every play. So I had to learn fast and it worked out good for me. Who else did you consider strongly out of high school? And what was it about the Roy Williams pitch that got you to Chapel Hill? Well, coming out of high school, I was a huge Missouri Tigers fan. And their program got in a little bit of trouble. So it kind of opened the door for everyone else.

And it came down to Florida, Kentucky, and North Carolina. I really liked Billy Donovan at Florida. They had a guy named David Lee who was from Missouri. You lived in my building in St. Louis. Nice. David Lee was my neighbor. Great, dude, he was a hooper back in high school. And I used to go to his games.

And I just, man, he was like one of my all-time favorite players. And being from Missouri, I really liked his game. And so he hosted me on my recruiting visit, which was really cool. And so obviously gave Florida a little bit of a, you know, lead. But once I got to know Coach Williams and their staff, I really developed a good relationship with them. I liked North Carolina. And so I went to North Carolina because of Coach Williams. And, you know, everyone recruited me pretty hard.

But the final two schools were Kentucky in North Carolina. Tubby Smith was at Kentucky. And he developed a good relationship with my family. I thought he's a really good coach. But I like the staff at UNC, and that's why I went there. If you had to describe Roy Williams' personality in a way that most people might be a little bit surprised. Because you know, you know, you know a coach from the podium and from the sideline, but, you know, like we don't get to see what the relationships are like.

What was Roy really like? He does not, like, who he is on the sidelines and how he carries himself. That's, I mean, what you see, that's Coach Williams. Like, it's, you know, he's one of those guys that, you know, at any moment. and he could, you know, he can lay into you, like he's serious, competitive, funny. But the most important thing that I learned from Coach Williams is no one prepares like he does. He was organized with his practice. He always had a practice plan.

And he had the times and he had when we would finish practice, which, I mean, you walk into the locker room. There's a practice plan on the board. You can see all the drills and kind of get ready for practice and then you know when it's going to be done. That I really respect. and working hard, every single, all that stuff is something I really learned. But the one thing I will say about coach that a lot of people don't know is he's a very intense golfer. And so I've teamed up with him a few times. And he puts more pressure on me on the golf course than any time I've ever played for him.

I mean, he'll let me know that, hey, this putt right here is going to go this way. and this is for the hole, so you got to make it right before I putt. That's great. And, you know, in my mind, I'm sitting there laughing, I'm like, coach, you know, I'm not a good putter. And I don't need this pressure. There's no way now I'm going to make this putt. But, yeah, that's always one of my favorite things about Coach Williams is playing golf. He cracks me up.

We got to get you guys out to the, or I got it by charity golf tournament this week. Maybe next year we get you guys out there and you guys. can win the whole damn thing because I have not seen a lot of good golf at my tournament. You talk about pressure. I think it was Texas Tech the other night, couldn't hit free throws, and Florida shoots their way back into the game. I live bet Florida very proudly when they were down nine, Moneyline. Smart.

It ended up being a thing of beauty, but like, what is it like when your team's missing those free throws in a big game? Do you guys talk about it? Do you not want to talk about it too much? Is it just like a dark cloud that's over the bench during timeouts? And how do you prepare for those moments? Like, how did Roy put pressure on y'all in practice to make the game easier from that standpoint? He never put pressure on us, like, about making free throws.

But when we started missing a few or weren't shooting well from the line, I could see on the practice plan it had like, free throws and running. So he would implement a little bit of pressure on us in practice. You know, he would pick a guy, everybody's on the baseline. If he makes a free throw, we don't have to run. Stuff like that, he would add. And I knew we weren't shooting well from the line.

But free throws can get mental. And when I was playing, if I missed like a little bit, like I shot a ton of free throws. And so that was one thing I did all the way through high school. I used to make 100 free throws every single morning before school. And so I got kind of that routine down. And if I overthought my free throw, then I would miss it. Like if I'm like, hey, aim for the back of the rim, then I just drill the back of the rim. The best thing for me was I used to, you know, play a song in my head to take me off from thinking about my form or where to aim.

And whenever I did that, just sing the song, it kind of really helped. It made me stop thinking about the moment, it doesn't have to be perfect. It's going to go in if I just shoot a. Well, I kind of wonder which building it was the toughest to shoot free throws in, and you were a great free throw shooter as far as I understand, but like, are you four, you were four and O at Cameron? Was that a tough place to kind of dial in and shoot free throws, or was there a tougher building to play in that you thought didn't get enough credit? You know, I never went to the free throw line thinking I was going to, it didn't matter where I was. I kind of felt like that part of my game was, you know, they were going to be, they were going to go in. it didn't matter really the environment.

The toughest place of Maryland, Maryland back in the day when they were part of the ACC, that place could get rocking. And we walked out of there with some else. That was a really tough place. And then back Florida State, when I played at Florida State, they always had it rock.

And it seemed like us and Duke were always losing when we played up Florida State and their environments were incredible, tough place to play. Those two places come to mind. but I actually really enjoyed playing at Cameron. I know we won every game there, but the environment, like the old school feel,

and the goals when they come down, they don't have like a big, you know, they're not rolling them out there. They kind of hang down from the ceiling. That's like old school, high school basketball, and I kind of liked it. So it was a pretty cool place. Shitty locker room, shitty visitor's locker room.

Actually, it wasn't that bad. You got more room, but, you know, like I always tell people, was like, I wanted to spend as little time that locker room as possible because I wanted to get back and celebrate with everybody on our campus after we beat them. No question. Can you get out of an interview without talking about Gerald Henderson, or is that sort of a batting a thousand sort of thing at this point for you? I'm not sure I can walk outside with somebody bringing that up. It just seems like I get hit with that question.

I'm like, you don't even watch basketball. Why are you asking? That was next to my list. Yeah, I get asked about that a lot. People come up to him. He's like, oh, hey, you remember that game when you have, you know, all that blood thing? He knows. No, I forgot about it.

Yeah, that incident, you know, me and Gerald, I hated Gerald for a long time, but I don't know if this is messed up, but I was going to get him back in some capacity. Cheap shot, whatever. And I know a lot of people kind of look down on that. I was ready to do something about that, whether when we played each other in the NBA, but never really happened. And years later, me and Gerald, he's actually a really good dude.

And I consider him a friend now. We did a podcast. I like Gerald a lot, so we're kind of over that. But, yeah, when that happened, that added a lot of fuel. And there's a lot of guys or, you know, students that kind of went after Gerald at UNC. and I absolutely I absolutely love that. Mercenaries. That's pretty good.

All right. So talking about the tournament and upsets, man, like there weren't any big ones this year. You were a part of a team that got upset. Was it sophomore or freshman year? Was George Mason? 06. That was my freshman year. Freshman year.

What's that like when you're a great team and you're playing, you know, you got to win, you know, six, seven times or whatever it is to win the whole thing? And, like, you don't know which game it's going to be. I would assume, or is it a situation where you walk into that game and you feel like they're dangerous? And at what point during a game like that are you like, oh, shit, it's happening? We watch UMBC when they beat us 16-1. It was like a nightmare. And I'm imagining what it was like on the bench. At what point do guys turn to each other and like, we're in trouble?

The George Mason game, that was a dog fight. And didn't shoot any free throws that game, I don't think. but those two bigs that they had for Georgia Mason, man, they were physical, they were strong. In the momentum, they kind of had the momentum because they were the underdog and they were kind of like everyone started pulling for them. Man, that game, I remember the second half.

Usually Carolina, like, you know, we're, we start to bury teams in the second half because we run and teams get tired and they're not able to sustain that. But that game, I felt like I was just exhausted from having to, you know, play physical inside against their two bigs. But they had the momentum. It was an off night.

We were a super young team. And I think that's what makes the tournament so special. I know we've got the, you know, all number one seeds. But anybody can beat anybody. McNeese knocked out Clemson this year. That was a major upset or the upset people talk about. But that's what makes the tournament special. And I will say, you know, those losses,

kind of helped us later on down the road instead of being just like a really good team went into the tournament my senior year. We were actually really focused. We knew how to approach a tournament and how to take everyone serious. So I think those losses really helped later on. And then having been through a couple tournaments,

I mean, you know, and under your belt when you went and won the Natty and you guys kind of breathe, I mean, from the outside looking at it, it looks like a breeze, but it's not obviously when you're playing. But they're all double-digit wins, man. and I kind of wonder at the end of it, was that the freshest you all felt after a tournament run?

You know, or does it not matter whether you're playing close games or not? 40 minutes is 40 minutes. No, my whole senior year, I played hurt. I had a stress fracture in my shin that I was managing, and I just couldn't really work like I wanted it. And, man, whenever we won it in Detroit, it was just a huge relief. I felt like a lot of weight was lifted off my shoulders. We were getting pressure from the outside. It's hard to block that out when you're a college kid.

And Coach Williams was riding me the whole year. He was on me harder my senior year than he was my freshman year because I think he really wanted to win it too. And yeah, it was definitely not the freshest, but I think that's the most confident team or approach we had to the tournament it because I felt like we knew, you know, we got smacked last year in the Final Four the year before that to Kansas. And we knew that we couldn't have a letdown or get too happy about being at the Final

four. We were a little bit more determined in 2009. I want to talk about the NBA, man, because you got to spend some time in the NBA, you played overseas and, you know, getting drafted by what the Pacers and just played with and against some amazing players, dude. like the first thing i remember about the the pacer's teams that you were on was like it was like lebron and the pacer's in the playoffs you all had some battles do you remember the first time you saw lebron in person and what were your takeaways the first time i actually saw him in person i

was uh i went to one of his games i think i might have been uh actually my senior year in high school or whatever when he played at Memphis because my hometown was like two and a half hours from Memphis too. And so drove over and saw, I mean, he's like LeBron is just, he's so quick and athletic. It's really hard to pick that up on TV. Plus he's, he's very strong as well. But the thing about LeBron, I always tell people is it's not the fact that he's strong. It's just like nobody is that strong that moves that fast or is that quick. And so you get caught off guard once he hit you and then he's just right by you. And we had some

battles. Those Pacer teams were a big physical team. We took, he was the Miami teams we took them to Game 7 in Eastern Conference Finals. I remember the game 7 was in Miami and

he came out and I've never seen LeBron so focused in the game. He lit us up. I mean, there was no way we're walking out of Miami. he went in that game and he was super impressive and my brother was on the team during that time too I looked over at him and I was just like man it's hard to believe that somebody's actually better than LeBron he just does everything he's so athletic it's it's incredible do you feel like guys

like kind of feared him was there a mystique about him or in you know like they talk about Jordan back in the day like people were afraid of Jordan and part of that probably is just there's less sound bites on the guy out there. Like it's a different generation. Like now we get kind of beat over the head with like LeBron sound bites and you've heard him talking to interviews and that sort of thing. But was there a mystique?

You know, where guys were like, man, we got to play LeBron the next round and what did the veterans have to say about it? Because I remember being a rookie, getting ready to play a great player, the vets would be like, this was going to be like, he's going to come down, dunk the basketball,

and the top's going to come off the place and we're going to find out in the first five minutes. You know, some football version of that speech. Was it like that getting ready to play a series against him where guys had a lot of stories to tell her? Was it just like, hey, it's time to go? Playing against LeBron, it's just so hard to guard him. And the reason I say that is just because he's so smart and he always makes the right plays. I remember game one in when we played them and we made it to that, we made that big run.

We actually, our game plan was to trap LeBron even in the mid-pon. And by halftime, we had gone in there, and we had totally wiped that out because he knew where the double team was coming from. His team knew how to move whenever we doubled, and he was just putting everybody in position to score. And so we had to switch our whole game plan that we had prepared for almost a week with a lot of practices. We had to throw that out the window at halftime and switch it up because he was just destroying us. but you know the tough thing about that team was not only did they have lebron d wade's a tough one too yeah chris chris bosh is a really hard guy to guard once he gets going uh but there's just so many guys on that team that you know are you know tough to guard and we're some of the best

players in the NBA at that time and we got to get a Lance stevenson question and since we're on lebron you were you weren't on the team when he blew in his ear were you this is after you you, right? And I don't, I don't think so. Man, Lance did so much stuff. That's what I want to hear about is all the stuff that Lance did. You remember, I mean, born ready. And Lance, Lance means well.

He's, man, when he came in, so his locker was literally right beside mine. And he was one of the most immature rookie, the most immature rookie I've ever been around. That's like one thing that a lot of these one and done players, like I can tell that they haven't had the coaching that, you know, like a four-year guy had. And you can tell, you know, they can act up or talk back a little bit. But, uh, there was a big learning curve with Lance. And, uh, you know, as far as how to talk to coaches and stuff like that, but he figured it out, he's a one of the funniest teammates I've ever had in my life. He will crack you up. But, uh, he did a lot of antics, like the blow in the ear and stuff like that, just off the wall

that were hilarious. They seem great. Maybe tough to rely on on game day, rookie Lance, but to watch them on TV, it was cinema. Danny Granger said that you used to scare your Pacer's teammates by screaming and grunting while lifting weights. Fact or fiction? No, not at the page. No, no way I did that in India.

Maybe Granger was looking to get something out of that. That was at Carolina, actually. We used to lift hard at California. Carolina. Oh, we elliptic lift. We did power cleans. We did it all. I mean, you're an NFL guy. We're not going to impress you. No, I'm impressed. I threw my back out last week, fucking flipping a tire thinking I was 30 again, dude. No, I'm impressed. So like power cleans, what else? Because like, is this a normal thing for basketball teams to do Olympic lifting? Like teams are on the ACC right now. Are they doing power cleans and stuff, you think? No, no, I don't see that. We do barbell. Back squad at Carolina. We have one of the best strength coaches I've ever been around Jonas Serration.

So, you know, to take, to learn all that technique and form, and especially in Olympic lifting, it takes a long time. A lot of coaches aren't willing to put in that work or can't really teach it all that well. But at Carolina, we got after it. And that was like one of my favorite team bonding act too is actually going to the weight room and training really hard,

putting the music on, getting after it. But, yeah, we trained hard at Carolina. Can we get a PR, bro? Were you from the floor? Were you cleaning from the floor? Were you picking it up and cleaning it? Do we have a PsychoT PR that we can share? I don't think I have any.

We actually, we cleaned from the blocks, actually. We didn't bring it from the floor. I don't know if that's like... I bet you were still pretty damn explosive. No, that's pretty impressive, though, that y'all were doing it at all. do you feel like you kind of skirted the question a little bit off the top? Do you feel like you are the – is there an argument that you're the best player ever at UNC?

I mean, I know you're probably going to be humble about it. But where do you put yourself? I mean, realistically. Man, that's a tough question to answer me. I mean, I would – you know, I feel like as a player, I feel confident like if I were to play against anybody – any one of those players that went to Carolina when I was in school, I kind of felt like I would have did my thing. I was part of a lot of good teams too, so I think that helps.

But yeah, I would say I think I deserve to be in that category. Mount Rushmore of UNC. We got to do the Mount Rushmore. I don't care. I mean, everyone has their opinion. I didn't have the NBA career that a lot of the top UNC guys had. But in college, I kind of feel like, You know, I'm right there with them.

Yeah, you got to be, bro. I was looking at your stats the other day. I'm like, damn. If you give me every sport, I'll give you a Mount Rushmore. Okay, give me a Mount Rushmore. Mia Hamm, Lawrence Taylor, Tyler, Tyler Hansborough, Bill Belichick. Yeah, Coach Belichick. Are you going to go meet coach, man?

You're going to go to a practice or something? Go to a game this fall? Absolutely. You know, Billy B, man. I can't, I still can't believe we got Belichick. Like a lot of people. I'm actually really excited. I've actually quickly met him.

Came over and said, hey, I'm Bill and said, hey, I'm Tyler. And then kind of we both win our separate ways. But, you know, I'm pumped to have them. I'm excited. So, yeah, I'm absolutely going to be able to see. See if you got some eligibility left. I think you should have played football, bro. So talking about the pros, the last guy I wanted to ask you about before we get to talking about China is Lou Williams.

Lou Williams had two girlfriends. And he had like code names for him, and he was very open about this. You play with Lou Williams. Did you meet both girlfriends? Did he bring both girlfriends around? Was that like a known thing that he was a polygamist of sorts? They sat next to each other. They're at every game.

I mean, Lou Williams off the court for doing that. I mean, I'm not sure he could do anything basketball-wise to ever really top that. Some of his conference was off the court. Man, I love Lou Williams. We were actually the same high school class. No way. Yeah, it was a – yeah, absolutely. So I knew him a little bit.

But, man, that was very impressive. And they were – yeah, his girlfriends, they looked – I mean, they were impressive. They weren't like – They were from a smoke shows. I was like, it would have been, in fact, Like if he brought two girls like, ah, you know,

they're all right, but he found something that works. No, these two girls were like, model hot. And both of them sat at the game. And I, it was hilarious,

but, much respect to Lou. Yeah, I just wish I could have heard some of those, those conversations in the locker room with Lou, man, that's crazy. He seemed like an all-time guy,

too, um, as if that wasn't enough. All right. So the China experience, man, like, I heard a story.

where you played the entire season and didn't know that your coach spoke a little bit of English? Is that true? Yeah, absolutely. My first year, that's, I laughed about it as soon as I,

it made so much sense to me after I'd spent so much time in China. And yeah, so the whole year I had a translator and he would translate between me and the coach and then after the season was over, I was leaving. He came over and talked to me. Full conversation in English. Never acknowledged any I said or acted like he knew what I was saying while I played for him. But as I, you know, I left.

I was like, man, that's brilliant on his behalf. And he always wanted to know what I was thinking. And, you know, it was funny, but also, I'll never know if I actually learned Chinese because that was kind of common. And I mean, people would be like, yeah, I don't know what you're saying. Even though I felt like, hey, I'm saying it's perfect in Chinese. Why are you not understanding me? But, yeah. Dude, he just was like, good season, brother. No, it was a much longer conversation.

He's like, I really enjoyed coaching. Yeah, he had a good year. Thank you. And maybe we can get back together at some point playing, like stuff like that. I was just, I was blown away. laughed about it but it's so good and and is this the same coach as smoking darts and uh in practice and at the half man he'd be so pissed if he knew i was uh he's not going to hear this no he was no his wife know that he smoked that was the one thing about it like his son would come around

be like i'm going to tell mom you're smoking uh if you don't let me have he's getting stuff like that uh yeah hey man every every coach i had kind of smoke it wasn't a like it was just one coach it was uh that was really eye opening going through a you know a pre game uh game playing on the board and the coach had a sig and and i always tell people like he never took a break he was talking out of one side of the mouth with the sig and the other side and he was also puffing out the other side too that was very impressive i only had one coach do that but yeah most of them were smoking in the in the locker room that's really impressive i mean to be able to draw up of like a pick and roll or something with a dart in your mouth and and just burn it what was it a was it

a chinese cigarette or an american brand do you remember no it's chinese i i yeah yeah chinese for sure uh they would smoke on the sideline if they let them how were the chinese heaters did you ever partake in a i've never smoked a cigarette really out of boy i haven't since friday night i hate the smell i would i had a party the other night because i turned 40 are you are you 40 yet, Tyler? No, not yet. No, it sucks. But we had a party and at the end of the night I was pretty hammered and I started ripping Sigs and somebody's like, you're smoking cigarettes? I said, well, my fucking parents are gone so I can do whatever I want. I look over my right shoulder. My dad had walked back in looking for his keys. So, yeah, I mean, so I want to ask you about

when you were playing for the, God, are we going to try to do this? Do it. You can coach me on my pronunciation the Zin Zang Flying Tigers was that or the lions Zinzang? Zin Zang did you play in Zin Zang the Golden Bulls dude oh no no that's Hong Joe it's a gongzhou long lions maybe they change their name I don't know but uh I'll just say man playing in China was actually some of my favorite basketball memories I bet it was awesome I did I love playing in China I absolutely loving my time there. It was, you know, for me, my NBA career really wasn't going the way I wanted, you know, just to be honest with you guys, I put so much pressure on myself to, you know, succeed and tell people I could be an NBA player that, you know, I just kind of was counterproductive.

And so going to China really got me away from criticism or trying to have expectations. It just got back to getting in the gym, working on my game, and really playing the game for the right reasons. I love the game of basketball and I wasn't really playing it, you know, that way in the NBA. And when I got to China, I got back to what I loved doing. You know, it was a bigger part of the team. And also I couldn't really understand people because of the language barrier. And, yeah, it was good for me. It probably just simplified things.

I do have more China questions, but I want to stay here. You were bummed out about the whole, I mean, obviously it's your life goal to play probably 15, 20 years in the NBA. But, like, that seems like the toughest league. to make a jump to. I mean, there's just so few players. And, I mean, I kind of wonder when you got up there and you started feeling like, oh, this isn't going the way I wanted to go, which me on the sideline watching, I'm like, man, he's in the fucking NBA, dude.

He's a star. But in your head, you're disappointed or whatever. Like, what was it that made the jump so hard? And, you know, looking back, like, is there anything that you learned about yourself going to the NBA? you know, you didn't know when you came in? Yeah, first of all, the reason I put so much expectations on myself is because I had such a successful college career, and there was so much controversy about whether I was going to translate to the NBA.

I wanted to tell everybody like, hey, look, my game translates. And, you know, I can be, doesn't matter. And I really wanted to have a good NBA career to prove a lot of people wrong instead of, you know, play the game. for what it is and what you know i think in any professional sports i think going to the right place and kind of having a little bit of luck is a huge deal and i think you know you look at a guy like danny green who kind of bounced around a little bit then went to san antonio and it was like a great fit and then obviously his NBA career after that just kind of took off and so i'm not blaming the fit, but I think my mentality going to the NBA was a little bit wrong, and I wish I would have

approached it a little bit different and not, you know, listen to the media or take what they said so personal. So that's where I kind of went a little wrong. And I think that's why I got away from really enjoying the game like I used to back in college and, you know, when I was a super young kid. Well, probably a thing that made you great was like you do take everything personal. Like it's hard. When somebody's like, don't take it personal, I'm like, well, fuck that. It's my whole life. You know what I mean? No, I'm a totally different dude now.

I mean, somebody comes up and says, you know, F you, Tyler, or something like that. I'd like, I would just laugh now. And back in the day, I'd be like, let's go. But, yeah, it's just a different mentality. I feel like today it's, do you think it's harder? It's easier in some ways to be a professional athlete and be a college athlete because you're getting paid and yada, yada, yada, and they're taking care of you. But I feel like it's also harder in a lot of ways.

old-timers quote-unquote like you and me might say all these kids got it so easy but in in reality i don't know if i could have held up to the scrutiny i mean like social media all that shit like being able to i mean you had to go pick up a newspaper to to see yourself get criticized back in the day now it's just on your phone you know i mean you open your social media and just floods in um and there's a lot of expectations now do you think it's easier or tougher to to balance all that stuff now. It's really hard to say. I think it may be a little tougher. And the reason I say that is because as a college kid, when you see like your peers or stuff on social media criticizing you or talking smack, I think that can have a little weight. The one thing that I do, like I do a lot of

analyst work for college basketball, I never try to criticize a player just because I know that if I were in college and I had a former player kind of come at me or criticize, you know, me. as a person or something like that, you know, that would have bothered me. But yes, definitely today's game. I think it's, you know, with social media and stuff, I think that is, it's tougher just because they're peers. And later on, once you get a little bit older, you know, like you probably understood a lot of these guys that have these opinions that you used to really care about.

And they're kind of losers themselves. I mean, it's not like they're really coaches or experts. are just writing somebody. Yeah, no question. But as a former player, I feel that you doing that, what you're doing now, which by the way,

you do a great job of it. That's why, that's when I heard you talking basketball. I was like, man, I fucking like this guy, dude. You know, put the UNC thing aside.

But like, the criticism thing, I struggle with that too. Like, and I got to do it all the time. I got to, you know, I got to break down every game. So I definitely feel that.

But I think if it's coming from a respectful place, you can do it. And I'm sure you seem like a guy who puts yourself in the shoes of the player. you know because some guys forget that they were the player you know what i mean and that's where they go wrong but yeah no tyler uh appreciate you coming on dude and um you know we always enjoyed watching

your play glad to put the uva hate aside and uh best compliment i give you man you were like a high motor player ever hear that term in football high motor it means the guy just doesn't stop he's got a you know what i mean yeah i've heard that uh i've never heard that in football just because i'm I don't watch probably as much football as nearly as much as you guys. But yeah, it's always, you know, being in a quality of mine. Hell yeah, dude. It was fun to watch. And best luck to you on all the analyst stuff now.

And one last question, who's going to win the whole thing? Houston. I think Samson's a great coach. I know they're playing Duke. I'm not just saying that because they're playing Duke. I actually really enjoy watching Houston playing. I want them to do it. There we go.

We're on the Cougars now, too. yeah dollar handsborough everybody thanks for coming on the show dude thanks fellas i'm praying that piper has a terrible time at that monastery i think maybe jesus will save us from the buddists prayers answered um making what do you think about the episode of white lotus last night i think that tim ratliff played by jason isaacus is the worst written and worse acted character in television history come on you don't follow the trend this isn't you dude you're just copying a bad take i'm not because it went the other way and people were like oh come emmy season is this going to be goggins or isaics i'm like what are neither neither

is doing anything not your tape not your take or this take jason isaac um do you think that uh he met because when he met okay spoilers for people just skip over this like three minutes as we get into this podcast but uh when guggins goes and meets the guy that killed his dad are we still on the it's probably his dad not the guy that killed his dad trained because i thought when he said the woman's name he was like whoa and then he was processing he couldn't he couldn't speak up because he was shocked that it's his son i think he left and she was pregnant well i think he disappeared to I love that. Yes.

And, and, uh, and then he, know he existed. Hollinger, dad says, you know,

my kind of guy, the way he drinks is whiskey. And then they bear some resemblance. He's looking at old pictures, all that sort of stuff. I'll tell you this, my friend, if that is the way we wrap up the Goggins story of the season,

we only have one episode left. Right. And he's probably got a high tail it back to the white lotus because he just knocked over the old man. Yeah, except he didn't because he went out with Sam Rockwell who still likes Lady Boy. Ten months sober. And cocaine. Yeah.

If that's the end to that story, oh boy. Unfulfilling. You think it's unfulfilling. Yeah. I also think it's possible that the guy knowing that it's his son didn't, he told his guards that he fell. Sure. I think he was like, I fell. Sure.

That's my son. We're not going to go kill my son because he was justifiably mad at me. It's been a giant misunderstanding. I'm with you. But Gagins told us for five consecutive television hours that he had to get to Bangkok. And the conclusion there is, ah, sometimes we make mountains out of mole. Yeah, I know. I don't know.

It's terrible. Who was the guy that played the guy that got knocked over there? Scott Glenn. Scott Glenn. He was in Firestorm with my dad. No way. Yeah. I knew I recognized him.

That's cool. I actually like Scott Glenn. I remember being on the set of Firestorm. liking Scott Glenn, unlike Christian Slater's brother on the set of Broken Arrow who made fun of me for not knowing what a blowjob was. Fucking weirdo. No, I'm sure he's cool. We've all grown a lot.

Yeah, so any other? You were what, 19? I was like, just a couple years ago. It was the Broken Arrow sequel. Sure, far away. I got lots of thoughts. What year did Broken Arrow come out? because I want to make sure this wasn't too.

We're going to have to cut this. Yeah, no, no, we're not. 1996, I was 11. Okay, good for you. Fair. Yeah. That's okay not to know what a job is at 11. Absolutely. That's fourth, fifth grade, right?

It's one of those. It's perfectly acceptable. I hadn't repeated yet. Or a loser. Who taught you how to give your first blow job? Anyways, we're getting to the show now. White Lotus. It better be a...

Oh, I saw the severance finale. Bangor of a finale. What'd you think? All right. Here was my takeaway, and I think it's a smart guy takeaway. So I'm trying to rain on my parade. But I think the takeaway for me is that everybody's any is more brave and decisive and bold. I mean, like I repeat a million, but just everybody's any was was just better than their Audi.

Because all the outies are beaten down by life. They're beaten down by the world. These inies, like Mark S's any headstrong, right down to his last decision, which was like, fuck them. Like, I'm in love with Helly R. And if we go out and a, you know, or the guy, big guy, push the vending machine in on Milcheck. Yeah, Dylan. Yeah, very brave. Yep. Hell E.Rs her any much better person objectively than the person her out. Egan.

Yes. They're all better versions of themselves. And so the, you know, the message for me would be like, there's an any inside you. Nice. And you know what I'm saying? Yeah. Yeah, no. It tap into that fucking any.

That hit the fan are hard. Yeah, that, yeah. I'm tapping into my any. This is your any. From, yeah. This is your any here. From here on out. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah, and then on top of it. Didn't Dylan's Audi, though? Wasn't he like, hey man, it's up to you? That was kind of cool, right? In that note? Yeah, I guess it was cool, but, like, Dylan's Audi was clearly beaten down by, like, the irony is his wife's like, I don't really like your out of your any is much better.

The only difference between the iny and the outy is being married to her. You know, that's another thing. Well, the any is just a single guy. He works all day. he doesn't have to think about half the shit he's thinking about at home no wonder he's all he's all beat down by life you're hooking up with it with his any guy talk's gonna get killed you think i mean i don't know i think he goes postal okay which i don't know if you can say that anymore but like i can say whatever i want it's 2025 that's right if i want to run for a third term i can run for third term there are no

fucking rules. So yeah, I think Guy Talk goes... No, you're right. I think it goes postal. Yeah. Yeah. Because,

anyways, we don't need to go back to White Lotus. But what did you think about the severance finale? I thought it was good. I thought it was good. I,

you know, it comes down to the, to the women at the end of the day, you know? Yeah. Mark's standing there with the Gemma or a Helly decision.

Yeah. Any or Nauty decision. And Gemma, by the way, you should probably start walking away from the facility at this point. Right, because you save yourself. So what are you going to kill Mark S as any and thus is Audi as well? Season 3 open or everybody's dead. Okay. Yeah. It was fun well lasted.

Didn't really get any closure on your mother-in-law's look alike. Oh, Harmony Cobell. Yep. Yep. Yep. Yep. Yep. Yep. Is that an okay thing to say? Sure, yeah. She looks like Addie Arquette. Yep. Yep. Yeah. Patricia Arquette's the act. That's her name? Yes. No way.

Yeah. She's married to David Arquette? Sister. Oh. Okay. Interesting. Yeah. More you know.

And now, sports. We're going to roast the fuck out of the coaches team picture and just shoot the shit a little bit. This has become a real thing in sport. You know why it's so great? Because this is a really dead time. And nobody feels like watching a bunch of draft clips. That's what Nolan's. for.

Nolan's digging in on the, we'll talk about the draft as it gets a little bit closer. But like there's nothing to talk about. The first wave of free agency is over. There's March Madness going on. It's kind of a dead time. And this coach's picture from the league meeting has become like a, like a care package for sports media types. Everybody's excited when this thing comes out. And this might be the best one yet.

The lighting is impeccable. They had to go indoors on the kind of weather. Did they really? Yeah. What is this superimposed background? Is this just show where they are? It's the hotel of where they're at. Like, what the fuck?

All right. So where do we start? There's so much. I got to say maybe the most jarring thing in the whole, my hollow man is Coach Callahan, second from the right front row. He's not even looking in the right direction. Yep.

he's he's looking stage left now if you're listening to the podcast on audio we've included a high resolution photograph if you're listening while driving you'll have to just pull over but this is solid gold um callahan stage left not even looking at the photographer right next to him i mean this is uh this is larazapam dude uh personified is Kyle Shanahan. My pills are now totally missing. Well, maybe you didn't bring them. We're always losing things.

They were in my purse. My whole prescription is gone. Mom, you don't need that stuff. I feel trapped in. Get me out of here. Hurting more than Kyle Shanahan. He is hurting, bro. What's going on with Kyle Shanahan?

I don't know. The off-season departures, perhaps, catching up. CMCs, tweak something. He looks like the guy in a Christmas card who's dead inside, and everybody who gets the Christmas card can tell he hates his family.

But he's dressed up. He's posing for the picture. This is awful. It's the most unhappy coach I've ever seen in this picture. He's letting the gray grow out in the beard. He's very tan. At least, here's something, Chris.

I don't think men have ever been taught in the history. of mankind how to how to sit there's a lot going on with the sitting I'm glad you brought this up I have by my count four guys in the front row who are like yeah here are my nuts correct now Andy Reid namely and if you look back at last year's picture he went hands clasps and I think in his mind he's like listen if I show the world my balls we win the Super Bowl at a young age ladies are taught how to sit we never get this lesson. We never got this lesson. Now, some of the fellows are being wise with hands clasped

or a dark pant. But if you're wearing a khaki or a light gray, or a khaki short, you're exposed. You know how I love Nick Siriani so much because he's so every man. He really is like a regular guy. Like he looks superimposed into the picture. Can you enhance? Took the hat off. The hat is the best. My STL Memorial Award is his hat. The fact that, and last year, if you look, Dennis Allen wore his hat. Well, he's not with us anymore. So Nick Siriani wisely brought his new era fitted cap to the coaches convention, but then put it on the ground and to be respectful at his feet. It's unbelievable. You guys were talking about sitting. Look at the, I mean, it's almost, it's a nice little pattern until it's fucked up. You've got four hands class

looking left to right, four in a row hands class, and you got four in a row hands class, and you got four in a row, hands on knees. Then you've got three hands class until you get to Jim Harbaugh. Okay. We just stop right here and talk about Jim Harbaugh. He's got great posture, but he doesn't know what to do with his hands. He can't control his hands. I'm seeing slump shoulders. You're seeing a good posture? Well, yeah, I'm seeing that he's he's ready. Yeah, he's ready. He can get up more easily than anybody else. If something happened, like you had to fight another coach. This is like a dad holiday picture, you know, like Christmas and, you know you get the tree off to the right side everybody gather on dad for for holiday picture whatever

i mean and and jim has a hard time generally sitting still i think such a hard time that he's ready to get up and his hands cannot be clasped yeah he's done this i mean if you look in last year's picture he's got the same right hand covered by the left palm that's a weird fucking way to sit and then you've got stefansky giving off mortician vibes uh yeah yeah Like, like, like, hottest piece of ass in the photograph. And poor Harbaugh sandwich between the,

the old holder of that title, Pete Carroll, 75 year old Fox. I knew we'd get to the part where you talked about how. Some of these men are attractive. I mean, we're, we're talking about pictures of people and a photograph.

Dave Canales? Dave Canales. Who was cheating on who? Dave Canales. looks like Dave Canals is any. Like he's just unencumbered by any of the worries of the world. He's just that hollow stare. If you had to describe the attire instructions,

you think somebody in the NFL office wrote for this picture, what would they have said? Well, Dan Campbell was like, dress like you dressed in 2007. Dust that 4X pole. That's a 4X polo. At least. Look how long it is.

Because I used to wear. polos like that. I'm wearing a collar today for once. But I used to wear like polo polos like that. And it was a hideous stage. But I was wearing like two Xs, two X talls, three Xs. Dan Campbell's wearing a four X, possibly a four X tall. There's no way that he has any other polos in the clon. No chance. Like it's this one, maybe two others, but they're the same, you know, look and fit. And then it's just athletic dry fit. Now the worst shirt is right now. The worst shirt is right next to him. I gave the best shirt, worst shirt. Best shirt, Mike Vrable, that's the shirt I would wear. Pan over to Mike Vrable, that's a shirt. I own that shirt. I legitimately probably

own that shirt. I wish there were a bit more collar integrity. It's a little bit of a loose collar. He's not worried about it. He's not worried about it. And then, and then the worst shirt, any guess? I thought you were going to say Mike Tomlin. Were you not going to say Mike Tomlin? I wasn't going to say Mike. I thought you were next to Dan. Why is the worst shirt, Mike Tomlin? it's showing that he's got a bit of a fitness issue that could have been easily high. Now, listen, man, when a guy wears their deficiencies for the world to see, like, hey, I'm not worried about how this shirt looks. Maybe you're seeing a little boob, like, no problem. I think that man's supremely confident. Honestly, if I'm saying worse shirt, we've already talked about the man.

I think it's the shiny metallic Jim Harbaugh shirt. It's not a great shirt, but I'm given to Deshaun Payton because that's not a fucking Q-Zip. Stop wearing your zip up like a Q-Zip, you psychopath. Interesting. Zoom in on that. Who wears a zip up like a Q-Zip? Just buy a Q-Zip, bro. Enhance.

Okay. Yeah, that's a good call. The other thing is, like, is Ben Johnson big now? He's sitting big. No, he's big, which is crazy. Remember I pointed out that Brad Holmes had gotten huge. Nolan, I texted you one night, and he was up in the luxury box, and he looked fucking huge. It looked like him and Dan Campbell.

They work out together. And Ben Johnson's big now, and it leads me to believe that Brad Holmes and Dan Campbell eat all the food in Detroit. So, like, there's no food for any of the other people. The alphas, like, they get everything. And then, like, they sent Ben Johnson away and finally he could eat. It's like a kid who couldn't eat in high school going and getting a college training table. Perhaps this was at UNC, but Ben Johnson,

and does have a wiki listing of 6-1-195. I think he might be bigger now. Making Gannon and Aaron Glenn. Look kind of smaller guys than I would have thought. Dominionive. And what's what's Gannon doing with those shoes? The shoes. You like the shoes.

No, I don't. The pants. What's up with rolling up the pants at the bottom? Your dad gave me shit for my shoes this weekend as he does no matter. What kind of shoes you're wearing? You can wear sketchers. But people, yeah. I was like, yeah, I don't even have to touch them when I slip them.

We need to figure out shoes as, you know, 40-plus-year-old men. The Andy Reed situation looks uncomfortable. His situation looks uncomfortable indeed. And then Shaw McDermott is trying to, trying a little too hard with those Nikes. What are those? He's been doing that. Those Air Force ones are dunks. I think those are dunks.

I wouldn't know. I don't try to be cool anymore. But if you're in this picture, do you just wear white-ass speakers? If I'm in this fucking picture, I dress like Mike Vrable. If you're wondering what I would do in this picture, I would just do exactly what Mike Vrable's doing. Okay, but what if you're seated? Because clearly you want to be standing. What if you're seated?

My dumb ass would be wearing khakis, and I'd probably accidentally sit like one of the guys that are in the front. you know what I mean? How awkward that be if like, you know, you're Andy reading, you're like 30 minutes later you see the picture, you're like, or after you get up, you're like, man, there are my balls. And then you have to make everybody sit back down. Like, do you get everybody to sit back down or you just wear it? Absolutely. You ask everybody to sit back down.

Well, he didn't. And here's another one. Fucking, uh, Kellyn Moore. At first I was like, is that Caroline Wozniak? Well, first I was like, Kellan Moore is a head coach. Oh, yeah. And then second,

I was like, Jesus, he looks like if Adam Carolla, Howie Long, and Nolan Mertt went to Thailand together. For a night

with former WTA star Caroline Wozniak. He really does. He looks like our very own Nolan Mert mixed with Howie Long, mixed with Caroline Wozziak, mixed with Adam Cora.

LaFleur got peck implants or something. those pecks. Duvall. Look at the packs. Enhance. On the floor? The floor does peck deck all day. That's all he does.

But, well, talk about a peck. It's hard to get definition like that on a Kevin O'Connell shirt. KOC. He's in the wait room. Are we just so used to whatever the hell his name is, Mike McDaniels, that we just skip over him now? Yeah, I'm kind of like, all right, Mike's doing his mic thing. you know yeah me and tyreek are fine that's if me and tyreek are fine

were a person it's mike mcdaniel did you hear that by the way yes they're fine yeah which is good it's good because the guy didn't just quit in the last game get control of your team mike big fan what do you think of uh brian schottenheimer's initial you know first head coaching That's a very like Dallas, like a blue button down, you know, kind of thing. And most people seeing this are like, who the fuck is that guy?

Well, I know who he was. I know who he is because he coached for the Rams back in the day. Shoddy. Zach Taylor has very golf pro vibes. Zach Taylor, just a total, like, down the middle kind of situation going on. Like all the, you know, kind of moms at the club, older ladies want to get golf lessons. But they put Pete Carroll in between the harbaw. It's like that had to be a thing where they were like,

we sit next to each other. Nah, Pete, get in here. We can't sit next to each other. And there is only 31 coaches here. We're missing Rahim Morris. All right theory. Stop it right there. If I didn't know any of these people,

I'd say some of the coolest-looking cats are Dan Campbell, Aaron Glenn, and Ben Johnson of famously all in the same staff last year. Is the no-tooth smile? It's in, bro. I don't know what my theory is. I love the no-tooth smile. I'm into it. I think Siriani sitting next to McDermott is hilarious, considering everything going on with the touchpush.

Yeah. Who are you? Oh, I'm... That's a great question. I'm going to tell you who I think you are. Any more guidance on that question? Who are you in this picture? Shanahan looks like he...

Looks like he's got diarrhea. It's like fucking... Callahan. Honestly? Do you think Rable's smiling so much because he's right above Callahan? He's like, yo, I remember Tennessee. No, I think he's smiling because he's just like,

he's not locked in. He's like, fuck this stupid shit. I can't believe we have to do this stupid shit. And he's probably all hungover. Because he probably went out drinking the night before and he's just like, ah. This is stupid. I know who I am.

I think you're Taylor. Oh, fuck you That's awful Or Ben Johnson No I was gonna say Ben Johnson No Ben's looking a little muscular

I'm I'm I'm a too small guy I care about collar integrity Don't tell me you're killing more No Am I supposed to guess I guess so

Are you uh Shane I'm Dico Rines Keep going That's good That's good. Okay? That's good. I mean, I like...

Yeah. I don't really want to be there, but I'm there. I'm going to give you a good smile. My collar's not drooping like Mike Rables. I'm Damiko Rines. Who are you? Dave Canales. No, I don't know.

I don't know. I don't know. I don't know what I would be doing. I would just be... If I had anxiety, I'd probably look like fucking, if my anxiety was bad, I'd probably look like Gannon. And if I was in a good mood, I'd probably look like Vrable. This is either corner. Yeah, you're Vrable.

That'd be Vrable. But if I was a little anxious, I'd probably be Gannon. Sitting over there not smiling at all. All right. So talking about the league meeting. Hard right term. What are they talking about? They're still talking about the damn touch push.

I think the funniest thing was seeing. Sean McDermott questioned about this. Actually, I saw this this morning. He's at the league meetings. This is a guy who, by the way, ran the Tush push with regularity last year. And they asked him about it. He's like, uh, it's unsafe.

That's why I'm against it. I just is a player safety issue. And they're like, what kind of player safety? Because all the the data says it's not unsafe. He's like, well, you know, it's just, you know, they're pushing the guys. And that's, you know, and then they ask him, hey, let's say it doesn't get outlawed,

and you vote against it, will you stop running it next year? And he turned into a politician. He turned into an American politician. Go listen to his answer. He doesn't answer the question at all. He just talks in circles. So what that tells me is he's absolutely going to run it next year,

and he's going to look like a fool when he does. He said that he's worried about the player safety aspect of it. If he ever runs it again, I will take that as an admission that he doesn't care about his point. players. I know he cares about his players. So what are we doing? What are we doing? Sean? And the funniest quote was Nick Siriani who said, and I'm paraphrasing, I better get three fucking votes against this motion from namely John Gannon, Kellan Moore, and who else? Shane Steichen, because they all have jobs because of this play, which is a little bit reductive, you know? It's not. It's not.

all about the play, but the play had a lot to do with it. And so those guys are in a real pinch. This is kind of an interesting situation. Fly on the wall, what's it like to be at the league meeting is like, you get a knock on your door at 10 p.m. and his Nick Siriani. He's fucked up. He's just pounding on your door. He's checking on seeing what Liam Cohen's going to do.

Liam Cohen comes to the door. Well, coach. I haven't thought about it yet. Keep us in mind. It's a really awkward thing, dude. It feels like the biggest news at this whole thing. And it is, it's an impactful thing. It's an impactful play, obviously.

D'emiko Ryan's, my doppelganger, with the best quote, of course, most sensible. Quote, it's tough to punish a team for being really good at something, end quote. Yeah, and that's what they're doing. That's what they're doing. So, I don't know. I don't have much else to say about that. and that might be the podcast. Call some NFL teams and...

Can we call the Packers? This is Wendy. Can I help you? Hey, Wendy. How are you doing? This is Macon. I will. Doing great. Thanks. Hey, I was trying to book a birthday party and seeing what sort of venues you all have available. Okay. For when?

It will be for May the 7th. Now, we're a year out, Wendy. I'm on top of this 14 months in advance, if you can believe that. So May of 26. That's right. Should I call back another time? No, no. I mean, I can certainly talk to you about, you know, options available.

I mean, how many people are you going to be inviting? Sure. It'll be 22. And ideally what we do is line up, you know, 11 guys on one. side, 11 on the other. If we were able to get on to the field, that would be terrific. Thinking something maybe near the goal line

at the one or the two. And... Yeah, we don't do anything on the field. Nope. Okay. All right. What about a practice field? Yeah, we don't allow any... Nope, not on the practice field either, unfortunately. My God.

What sort of... Yeah, what venues are available? Well, we have... like sweets available that you can reserve for like a lunch or a dinner. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Yeah, but we don't, yeah, we don't, we don't book any events on the field. Okay. And the practice facility is not a rentable space.

Okay. Could we buy it? Now, my friend Chris will be turning 41, uh, in a quarter, uh, for this. So, um, how do you feel about the tush push, Wendy? I don't really care either way. Oh. Now that's a sensible take in my opinion. Yeah, I'm neutral.

I mean, should we be punishing one team for doing something so well? You know what I'm saying? Yeah, not my area of expertise. Are you a Packers fan? Well, of course. Can I help you with anything else? Absolutely. Can you name three Green Bay Packers?

Thank you for calling. Take care, Wendy. Wendy bitched you, dude She bitched you, dude That was the nicest All right, this is enough Thank you for calling Damn

She was neutral Yeah The Packers wouldn't like to hear No, they would not like We shouldn't get named We need to bleep out her name Or fired Uh

They're not a united front In Appleton April fools Any pranks Oh, should we call some Call my dad And tell him that I'm joining the army or something or

Kyle called me he's joining the army oh really that's what I want to tell dad right now okay it's good Joe buddy what's going on not much how you're doing? I'm good Kyle just called me and this

you're not going to believe this one he's okay everything's fine but he's joining the fucking army April fools oh shit What do you got against the military? Nothing if my 6'7 target of a son. He can't fit into the planes.

He can't fit in anything. Yeah. Well, that's good. I just, you know, because it's... That's wrong, man. It's not... I could have made it a little less far-fetched. You know, you know how...

You know how I'm waiting for calls like this. Yeah. That's one that, yeah, was on my bingo card. You know, my heart rate's... hovering right at about 63. Yeah. Not anymore. Parts to 85.

Well, it's good. There's a little cardio for you. You're freaking warped friends. April fools. Untaken. I forgot. Well, it's March 31st, but our show drops tomorrow, so. Oh, okay.

All right. Love you. Who else gets just called fuck with people? That's the. ticket. I'm gonna call my mom and tell her that Kyle's joining the army. Oh, that was perfect. Kyle, what else? Kyle's joining the army to my mom too. Just calls my people. I'll call my dad and say Kyle's joining the army. I'm gonna call Kyle. Kyle. Tell him that there's a draft. Hi. Hey. What's going on? Nothing. Uh, have you talked to Kyle today? No, why? Everything's fine. He, he, he,

This is, all right. I don't know if he's going to do it, but he claims that he has signed up for the National Guard, and he's planning on being in the Army. It's today April 1st. You're a jerk. No, it's March 31st. No, it's not.

No. What's the date? Are you just, are you doing? Nothing. We're just letting you know that Kyle's joining the Army. You're full of crap All right You weren't as easy to do this to his dad

Who are you with? I'm with Macon I'm with Macon Macon I'm like Wait a second The show drops on April 1st So

Okay All right I love you Okay bye I love you Little flies on her You're gonna call your dad And tell him that cows join the army Yeah Okay.

One of our best bits. Hey, nothing. What's up with you? Nothing. Nothing. Nothing. I take a little walk that was awfully hot out there. How hot is it?

About 80. Whoa. I've been inside. Oh. What's been inside all day doing? Working. Oh. Yeah.

Well, kept you out of the pollen. That's right. Chris called me. He said, Kyle has decided to join the United States Army. Yeah. Why? He was called to serve, enlisting next month.

I don't know if he's thought it through, you know. Probably he hadn't put his name on the papers yet. Maybe he has. I don't know. Chris seemed pretty upset about it. Did he really? Yeah. Well, I don't blame him.

Yeah. I don't think he wants to do it for a while. He just wants to go in for a short period of time and make his presence known how Chris put it. I don't think that's exactly the way it works. I don't think he'd join and then you start telling them what you're going to do. well you know he's like 6-7 almost 280 he's probably Kyle has joined the army there

Kyle long oh god I know Kyle long He uh He's taking our time He didn't he too tall doesn't he Don't they have a height I think he did

He's 5, 7 7 3 Can't fit in the tank There was a need for a service dog too so that he's taking Chris and Meg's dog Willie. What? Yeah. That's a joke. Unless Chris is messing with me.

It's no joke. He joined the army. He's going to tell them how long he's going to serve and he's going to bring a long dog. I'm a pretty desperate for Chris. Oh, good Lord, thank you. All right. Well, I'll talk to you a little later. Great news. Hey, dad.

All right. You have to. Don't say anything, okay? Should we call William Hayes and tell him something? Kyle's joined the Army? Yeah. Yeah. Hold on.

Hold on. Hey, what's up, bro? What's up, Pimpin? Man, out here just living a dream, man. Sitting at the pines, smoking some ducing. some of my brother. What the fuck I'm talking about? I wish I was there.

I got some crazy news. You want to hear this? Yeah, together too, me. So my brother just enlisted in the army.

Kyle. No fucking way. Yes, dude. He's going next month. Like, hold up. Like, like, really enlisted? Yeah, dude.

Just out of nowhere, he was like, he said he wanted to go fight because World War III's, like, World War III is going to happen. Are you serious? Yes, he's going next month.

Are you okay with that? I don't really have a choice. I can't stop him. He's too big to do anything but drive a tank, so he's going to drive tanks for the Army. It's crazy. You think, what should I do? You should tell him don't go.

That's a good idea. I'm so serious, though. I don't know. I try to talk his ass out of it. Well, what I heard is there's a draft. Like, this is the first wave, and then I heard that there's a draft coming. Like, I got a buddy in the DOD, the department. I think he's full of shit.

You do? Yeah. I think he definitely making this stuff. I don't believe that one word that's coming out of your fucking ass right now. You're full of shit. Kyle's probably sitting right beside you listening to this. No, he's not. Not even, you know.

I don't believe that a little bit, though. I do not believe that. Kyle's not here. I wish Kyle was dead. I don't believe you. Do you think you would do well in the Army? No, probably not. Why?

Why not? He's just a big angry motherfucker, man. They don't do good in the Army, though. Hell no, man. Bit angry motherfuckers like Kyle get shot to, he quit, man. Nah, I wouldn't want that motherfucker in my fault, so he might just, like, get so inspired he might just like run out there with his gun and shit just like give us up man

no man cow need to keep this big ass at home man all right good call if this ever comes up in reality I will definitely try to talk him out of it this is good advice man shit you need to let me talk to Carlis a lot talk his ass out of it man man

he too angry man that's a good point yeah way too angry man somebody might just like yeah fuck you it might trigger him just just like lose all that shit man lose all his marbles man yeah I wouldn't

Now, don't take, your brother, stay in Virginia, man. Like, look at the mountains and shit, man. He left. He's in Florida. He's getting ready to deploy. So. I think you're lying.

Are you really telling the truth? No, I was joking about the draft, but he's really going to join the Army. Is it really? Yes. I think you're fucking lying. I don't believe it a little bit, man. Hey, you think that Army will let you, like,

do a documentary on Cal? Yeah, green light, like a green light. Oh, my gosh. Send read over with him? Yes. All right, let me look at this and call you back because I'm getting a beep right now. It's from my mom.

She just heard about it, so she's freaking out. I'll call you back. That's a good bit. That's a good bit. Kyle joining the Army. Why? Is this too far? What?

To call William back? No. No, because Kyle would have to have call and be like, I'm here already. It's bad. Hey, let me put you all with Kyle. What movie is that? I put in war scenes.

Yeah. It's true. I joined. William! Should we April Fool? Stanford Steve? Okay. What can we do for Steve?

What can we get Stanford Steve with? Kyle joined the Army. Hello? What are you answering the phone like that? were you afraid what's up dude i do have some crazy news though seriously

yeah you're going to like sit down for this this is nuts so kyle i don't really know how to fucking put this my brother is joining the army what yeah dude

he just enlisted national guard and he plans on going went over to fucking, what is it, like, Kuwait, wherever the base is next month. Oh my. Really? Yeah, dude. Wow.

Who are you talking to? I'm talking to Steve. Oh, you're telling him about Kyle? Yeah. Unbelievable. I'm with Macon. Was Macon going with him? Hey, Steve.

No, they didn't need any fucking... Maken's... Fine. But no, he really is going. Oh, all right. I didn't even know you could do that at 36. Me neither. I didn't know what was going on because when I asked you about him yesterday,

you're like, no, man. That's what I mean. We were going through that whole thing. He was like, I want to go to the Army. Oh, God. Didn't he just have a kid, two kids? Yeah, dude. What's wrong with him?

I don't know, dude. I'm trying to figure that out. Like, they said he's too big to do like half the stuff that they're supposed to do. Yes. So he's, he's supposed to drive tanks. Oh, Jesus. Because he can't fit in the normal cars. No, he cannot.

He's a human space eater. Those aren't supposed to go to the army. Holy hell. I know. We got a lot to catch up on when you get here later this week. Yeah. What do you think? I should do.

I mean, obviously, let him know how you feel. Like, you know, I mean, you're ahead of the game as far as kids, man. Like, he's, he's, like, there's a possibility of missing out on some of the best shit ever, you know? The possibility gets fucking shot. Yeah. Uh. Yeah.

Yeah. Well. It's a brother, you know. I know. But it's, uh, he called me. He's, April fools. I thought it's March 31st. know, but the show drops tomorrow. We've been calling people all day telling him Kyle's going to the Army.

No, you didn't. He believed me. Oh, God. Oh, we'll be able to laugh about this later this week, Steve. Yeah, yeah, your laugh. Hey, naked, fuck off. Bye, Steve. Bye.

He said, I know. He can't fit in anything. Fitted in the little cars. All right. Nate. Yep. Kyle's joining the Army. What?

Yeah. That's why I call it. You can call me back whenever, but it's... Oh, good job. All right. Good job. April fools. He's not joining the Army.

Oh, my God. Yo, you're a clown. Goodbye. Yeah, I'm hitting your back. Still hitting you back. He's took an Avey back. All right, I'm going to call Meg with one. What should I tell Meg?

Party-related. She put it on. Something bad happened. Somebody got bit by a spider's in the hospital. Yep. Who's in the hospital? I could be in the hospital. I'm soft like that.

Hey. Yeah, what up? Me and Jr. on the way to pick up the boys. What are you eating while you're driving? Yeah, pretzel stick. Okay. Well, just take a second. This is kind of nuts.

So, I was here all day waiting for making. He didn't show up. I finally called and called he wasn't answering, so I called Kate. He's been in the hospital with a spider bite that he got at our party since, I think, Sunday? Or Saturday night? Yes. What? Yeah, dude.

Like, maybe a black widow or something, like his whole. leg swole up he's hold on Kyle's calling me he's joining the army did you call you back Kyle nothing dude I just got a call from a buddy who's in the

DOD this is crazy and you can't repeat this they're doing a draft are they really? Yes yeah 30 people in the 30s are they're eligible great would you go

wait till they I would go. Where am I going? Kuwait. Kuwait till these nuts drop on your head. Goodbye, Kyle. I was waiting for a little late. Sorry. That was the best of the bag.

I gotta go, Kyle's joining the army. Okay. I'm gonna call from Kyle Long. Okay, call, yeah, pick up. Kyle? I got drafted. Hey, man. I got drafted.

I got drafted Kyle What's good with you man Yeah You feel cold Did you hear about the draft? It's cold Yeah I did

It's exciting Kyle hung up It's pretty good April Fool's there You should probably call my dad Tell him that Is not Writing your family a letter Is there anybody else we should April Fool's here

What's the number for can we find the hotel that they're staying at that all the coaches are staying at and uh yeah what's that hotel you pretend to be like another coach mm-hmm yes Mike brable's joining the army no no this is Rahim Morris yeah my flight just got it with my car yeah what the fuck is my room been in I've been in the valet circle for the past 36 hours oh back key Yo. Kev. What up?

Dude, you're not going to believe this. Okay. Kyle just enlisted into the United States Armed Forces. My brother. What? Yeah. He ships off to moratorium tomorrow. You're kidding me.

No. He did it like three weeks ago. I didn't tell anybody. how's the wife feel about this one uh haven't talked to her I've just talked to Kyle were you like what I'm kind of don't know what to say

I don't know what to say I told him I said like bro like they will shoot you isn't he too big yeah but they okay so here's what he told me he said like the size thing not a big deal because listen they're not going to let me drive any of the like the jeeps or anything

I'm like too big for all that but they said they're going to put him in the tanks because the tanks are bigger big enough to hold him why did you ask them why um I think it had something to do with the I couldn't really figure it out he had something to do with like the whatever's going on right now uh in um

with those Yeah? I don't really know. I have no idea, dude. Is he losing it? Yeah, I think he is losing it, Kev. I don't know what to say to him. I don't know what to say to him.

I was like, don't go. And he was like, don't go. He just kept saying, I'm going. Dude, maybe you need to go down. Is he coming in town? Well, he's skipping the golf tournament because he's going to the Army. Hold on. Meg's calling me because...

What the fuck? She's pregnant. Hold on a second. Hey, babe. Weak-ass podcast, you whipping up this week. That's the funniest thing yet. Welcome to the show. I'm in the middle of telling Kevin Kyle's going to join the Army, so can I call you back?

Is this in April Fool's edition? Yeah, because the show drops on April Fool's, so. Oh, okay. All right. Well, I called Macon's wife, and everything's fine, so. Okay, that's hilarious. Is Whalen in the car? No, just June.

Hi, June. June. June. We're enlisting you in the Army. You laughed. Okay. I'll see you at home. All right.

Okay, bye. Love you. Oh, back he's still on hold. Kev. Kev? I got to tell him. He's not going to the Army. So he's kind of lost it.

Macon texted you? He just texted me. What did he say? He just said Kyle Long's joined the army. Yeah, I talked to him this morning. And we talked about it for a while. All right. Like, is he losing it, dude, a little bit?

Do you think? No, I just think he really, he's like hell bent on this Greenland thing. Yeah, you can be hell bent on it. You don't need to go early. Well, how are we going to go get Greenland if nobody joins the Army? He's like, that's his mindset. He's like, bro, like Greenland's really important for our security

and for protecting our shipping routes and all this stuff. And I'm like, when did you get into this? This is, dude, what? All right. Here's the thing. Okay. Here's the thing. You need to play big brother here.

All right. And hey, dude. He's got guns. What am I going to do to stop him? he's got guns now. He's like, fucking all, he's got a uniform

and like, you don't have a uniform. What are you talking about? What's wrong with the army, Kev? Nothing's wrong with the army. I mean, if that's what the guy wants to do,

but he doesn't have to do it, let other people do it. You know? Yeah. Well, that's, what the fuck? We're not going to,

his mind, we're not going to get Greenland that way. He thinks he's going to go, like, single-handedly and get Greenland. Wait, Hold on. And you just got off the phone and you said someone's pregnant. Who's pregnant?

Meg's pregnant. My Meg. Your Meg is pregnant. Yes. So we've got just multiple things going on. You're throwing a lot of shit at me, dude. Are you serious? Yeah, I'm serious, bro.

But the pregnancy is just kind of taking a, it's a back burner thing right now because Kyle's going to join the Army. He thinks we're going to annex Canada. All right, here's the thing. Here's the thing. That's fine. Let Kyle go do this. That's fine.

Dude, that's congratulations. That's great. Thanks. That's fun. That's great. I can't allow this to go any further. April fools.

You're a dick. You're a dick. You're a dick. But that was a good one. I can appreciate a good joke. Here's the thing. You're even a bigger dick because it's fucking March 31st. I know, but the show drops April 1st.

We've been calling people and telling him that Kyle's going to the Army for like an hour. I called my dad. He believed me. See, think about that, though. People actually believed you. I know. It's a problem. That's a fucking problem right there.

We need to talk to Kyle and make sure that he's not going to go to the Army. Nip this in the butt. but Meg is not pregnant Now you're just a bigger dick dude I was excited for you I was flights to get you down to Florida to talk to your brother

What's the fuck? Well That's funny dude You're a dick Okay I'll talk you later You're such a podcaster Dude you're funny

You're like fucking jerky boys Get off the shit to do I got shit to do I've got a thing to do in his life Kate texted are you guys hurting for content. Yeah. Oh, whoa. I'm going to act like you haven't told me.

Okay, cool, cool, cool. Yo. What's wrong with you too, dude? What do you mean? April Fool's on March 31st? Funny, dude. Funny, dude. The Kyle stuff?

Yeah. That's April Fool's? Yeah. Are you kidding me? No. I'll call you back. Oh, how he's gonna Oh, there you go

Yo Dog, everybody's okay, but you gotta hear this. This is crazy. All right. Kyle called me this morning. Yeah. You won't believe what he's about to do. He's joining the Army.

Yeah. He enlisted last week. What? Yeah, dude. I, I, I, don't know what he's like if he's okay or what but like he's all swept up in this greenland thing this greenland yeah he thinks it's a really important stop along our trade route and it's got to be like protected and all this stuff and greenland's not holding up there into the bargain

he's gonna help sail his physical why his ankle his shoulder his elbow his elbow he won't get past the first. I guess he already passed. Yeah, dude. Have you talked to him today? No, not today. Yeah, no, sir. I don't know why he's doing it.

You got to fucking call him or something. I don't know. Well, he, I'm not going to, you know, I'm not going to call him and say, hey, Chris called me and told me to join the military. Well, that's kind of how the call would go. Yeah. And then it would be like, don't do that. Because I tried all morning and he was like, nah, man, it's fucking too important.

And plus, he's like, Like, we're going to annex Canada. What? Yeah. What is, what, what is he going to, what? So is his family's going to move to Greenland in this plan? No, like most military families, they stay behind. Yeah.

What? Is this, I know we're getting close to April first, so. Why would I joke with you about one? One, the U.S. military. I would never joke about the military. And two, Kyle joining the military. Can you call him? Can you call him right now, please?

Just call him right now. He'll pick up because I was just talking to him. I love you. Okay, hold on, hold on. Who are you talking to you, Ken? Yeah. Yo. Will you in this?

Fuck that guy. I had called my dad. Did he get you? Yeah. here's the thing. He got me in the beginning, and I was literally concerned. And then as he was like,

did they can text you? And as I was talking to him, which was 15 minutes ago, that's when you text me. And I went, this sounds a little, I don't know, it got fishy to me.

Because I was like, the timing of it was weird. He called me, I don't know, 10 30, 11. I had to run, so I guess he couldn't give me the punch line. But I called, I called

Kate, I hollered at Kyle, I told my parents. And he just told me he's fucking with me. Does Chris have a screw loose? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

I don't know. I don't, I don't, I thought we're doing a, uh, a sports pie here. I didn't, I don't even know if I'm good with like joking about the military and stuff. I mean, that's serious business. I believed it. I'll tell you that.

I believe that it was a thing. I could see Kyle doing that. Yes. Yeah. That's what I said. I said I can see this happening. Did you hear Meg's pregnant? Yep.

He got that. He's like, let me call you back. Meg's pregnant, by the way. And I was like, whoa. My antennas went up a little bit because he was like kind of, hesitating and I was like it's just being taped or something

so but whatever I ran with it it's fine but I didn't call anybody he told me he kind of let he let it run with you for a little while that's not cool no shit he said Kyle was on his way to Kuwait he kept

Kuwait till these nuts drop on your face what the fuck unbelievable man's for making for a second never again holidays, Kev. Here's the thing. You guys are complete

fucking jag off.