Green Light with Chris Long - Will Anderson! Houston Texans Pass Rush, Jerry Hughes, Laremy Tunsil & Nick Saban Stories. Hard Knocks Recap & Ad Men

Episode Date: August 10, 2023

(2:23) - Hello, Layup Line and Green Light Softball Season 2 (23:20) - New York Jets Hard Knocks Episode 1 Recap (47:50) - Houston Texans Will Anderson talks Pass Rush Techniques, Watching Jerry Hughes, Learning from Laremy Tunsil, Playing Football at Alabama, Nick Saban and Devonta Smith (1:12:16) - Ad Men: Multiple PJ Flecks, Chevy, Pea Gravel and ArtificiaI Intelligence This podcast is brought to you by Cash App. With multiple tools for saving, spending, and sending, Cash App is the easy way to stay in control of your money. Cash App is a financial platform, not a bank. Banking services provided by Cash App's bank partner(s). Make sure to check out Fax and the King every Wednesday on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@FaxAndTheKing Have some interesting takes, some codebreaks or just want to talk to the Green Light Crew? We want to hear from you. Call into the Green Light Hotline and give us your hottest takes, your biggest gripes and general thoughts. Day and night, this hotline is open. Green Light Hotline: ‪[phone]‬ Send any Talent Search submissions to: [e-mail] Include any video of your talents, takes and bits as well as a little bit about yourself. Love hearing from the Green Light fans. Also, check out our paddling partners at Appomattox River Company to get your canoes, kayaks and paddleboards so you're set to hit the river this summer. https://paddleva.com/ Green Light Spotify Music: https://open.spotify.com/user/951jyryv2nu6l4iqz9p81him9?si=17c560d10ff04a9b   Spotify Layup Line: https://open.spotify.com/playlist/1olmCMKGMEyWwOKaT1Aah3?si=675d445ddb824c42   Green Light Tube YouTube Channel: https://www.youtube.com/c/GreenLightTube1   Green Light with Chris Long: Subscribe and enjoy weekly content including podcasts, documentaries, live chats, celebrity interviews and more including hot news items, trending discussions from the NFL, MLB, NHL, NBA, NCAA are just a small part of what we will be sharing with you. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

The Greenlight podcast will see clearly now with Oakley jumping into the podcast game. Head to Oakley.com for the greatest shades in the game. Oakley even offers Prism Lens technology. What the hell is that you ask? It's a proprietary technology to Oakley and available for everyday settings as well. Want to know more? Head on over to oakley.com and do your own research. And while you're there, get yourself a pair of everyday glasses

that'll be sure to change your look for the better. When you wear Oakley, there really is. more than meets the eye. Don't trust me. Try for yourself. I've worn a lot of sunglasses brands of my life, and I can assure you, Oakley is not only the best looking, but the best quality out there. Head on over to oakley.com, O-A-K-L-E-Y, for more information today. Welcome to the Greenlight Podcast. A wonderful show for you all today. We're going to start off with a little hello lay-up line. We're going to talk about our Tuesday night softball game. That's right. We've got a fall league. So you're going to be here in plenty more.

about us scratching that athletic itch. We also get in a hard knocks, just like everybody did. I'm sure you all watched. We're going to go through our favorite parts, our favorite cameos, our favorite lines, just about everything. And then it's Will Anderson, the Houston Texans, rookie edge rusher is going to talk to Chris one-on-one about pass rush techniques. He's getting some great advice from Laramie Tunzel and how to rush.

He's just watching everything Jerry Hughes does. He also tells you everything you need to know about playing football at Alabama. He talks to Nick Sabin, Devontas Smith, everything. Also throws in a wonderful draft day story. After Will Anderson, it's the return of admin. That's right, everyone's favorite segment where the laughs are a plenty and never stop. Hopefully you get a good bit of enjoyment from it.

You can certainly let us know how it went, just shoot us a comment on social media or drop it on YouTube. But nevertheless, please enjoy the show in its entirety. We'll catch you next week. Greed just had a great comment. I'm kind of worried because we look like morons because we're doing admin later.

Some of you all love admin. You know, I don't know. Sometimes when we hit send on admen, I feel like it's a tweet that I'm sending when I'm high at 1 a. But it's a podcast and there's video. And so we're pitching ads. That's what we do. It's like, what's the guy's name? It's like Madman, Don Draper.

Dom Draper. Dom Draper. Yeah, our boy, John Hamm. I still got to watch that show. Yeah, that's a big commitment, though. You really need, like, a lot of time. I'm not in a place in my life. life where I can commit to something like that. Maybe next year. But yeah, we're dressed like idiots.

That's coming later. We got Will Anderson today. Love the guy, dude. We got off the, we got off the thing with him. And I was like, I just want to be this guy's teammate. I want to be this guy's vet. Like, he's just, he's a sponge. You can tell. You love talking about Jerry Hughes, some of the vets there. Yeah, you walk away and you're like, I kind of get why Stanford Steve has a huge man crush on this kid. Awesome guy. So looking forward to y'all hearing that interview. Matt, kick us off. The other day, we talked about killing each other because of the Auburn guy.

Right. Yeah. And like how we would do that covertly. And it's hard because I wanted to have like a better answer in the answer that I gave the other day. Yep. But you can't Google like best way to get rid of a body. No.

Like I even play with it. I went right to the edge and I was like, best way to get rid of a. And they were like, toaster. And they were like, you know, whatever. but you don't want to type those things in and hit enter well as long as you don't do it are you actually planning on doing it no but you know like a body pops up like a few hectares from my house i would love to get questioned about a murder that i didn't commit you would yeah but you search ways to kill somebody i was like yeah i do a podcast yeah that's true all right i'll google but

it's perfect cover fill me in matt you never got you you you had an answer how well man i'm sorry i'm so sorry. Go ahead. Can I just read you my Google fill-ins for best way to get rid of? Japanese beetles, belly fat, fruit flies, mice, flies, hiccups, and chiggers. Would that be different than mine? I think so. I think it's tailored. Everything's tailored to us. Best ways to get rid of acne. Best ways to get rid of belly fat. Best way to get rid of fleas, hiccups. That's Bo Jackson right there. Like number four, it's like all you eat how many times. Bo Jackson probably serves that. I think he's okay now. Is he okay?

I hope so. God, I hope so. Poison Ivy, ants, mice, flies, dandruff. No, I want to get rid of a body for my podcast. I wouldn't need to get rid of the body. I'm going to start by telling you about a pumpkin float record in Nebraska last year. Yeah. I'm going to let you think of the idea of breaking the record.

I'm going to take leadership of the pumpkin task force. I'm going to hire a team of engineers that are young and inexperienced. I'm going to tell Chris stories about how the record is being attempted by other people and it's being lengthened and lengthened. So we have to go further and further. I convince Chris of the need to go out in inclement weather in order to increase water height and increase the speed of the flow. See, that's where this stops sounding familiar. Yeah, first five steps are already in play. I'm going to use some shoddy, shoddy electrical wiring on the inside of the pumpkin and convince the team the equipment is necessary for dive. documenting the float. You're busted, dude. This is where you're busted. I'm going to equip you with a conductive metal paddle for the journey. And then I'm going to let God strike you down with lightning. Okay. And hold a press conference saying he died doing what he loved. Okay. Matt, this is good. Because, yeah, the other, maybe it would be a snap and turla. My lord, a snapping turtle. Wow. I hope that's all in there. Look at that sucker. A snapper. Oh, Lord.

Wow. Langer. You ready to snap? Nah. But like the other day when I was in that lightning storm, that would have been the big, actually the thought crossed my mind as I was like trying to make my push for Hat and Ferry. I was like, if I got hit by lightning at Hat and Ferry going through the rapids, it would be the biggest died doing what he loved thing ever.

You know what I mean? And I kind of was wondering for you guys, like, what would be that situation? I was just thinking about how Kyle and I would have to talk at your funeral about how we were right. And, like, we'd be sad and all. You were right. We were right. Drugs. Well, and just the river in general.

Oh, the river. Okay. How big of an idiot he was. I got one for Matt, I think. I think he's probably playing poker with five NBA players, a little cocaine binge. and he's got a lit cigarette and he just keels over and lights the whole casino on fire. Died doing what he loved.

Pretty freaking close to what I had. Struck down at his prime, dude. I had in Vegas sports book, betting big on UVA to win the national title. They win and I overdose on cocaine. Yeah. Sounds like a terrible. Honestly, it sounds like a bad OD situation.

My heart is exploding. I don't know that I love anything. Yeah. Doing anything. I don't love any activities. Oh, I have Make and Dyes alone. Yeah, there we are. Yeah, I have Maken Dies alone.

Same page. So, yeah, I, died doing what he loved. Reed impales himself with a fucking cross-country ski. Oh, yeah. This ain't it playing off Jason Isbell's new album. Hell yeah. How was that?

That was a great show. Yeah, it was in Richmond, right by the river. The train rolled by late night. But it was great because I was getting text about our, softball team that I had to miss week one or you know the first softball game well things well we'll talk about that game um first off it is august 10th your today our tomorrow hey you know it's also my young son's birthday oh happy birthday too can i say the first letter of his name sure g yeah yeah um uh yeah yeah g unit turns one on august the 10th congratulations that little man

yeah so let the boy watch yeah how about a hello my gosh my gosh Montgomery, Alabama. Hello. Montgomery. It's just like, it's just like a mini mall. Oh yeah. You can find them at the market. We're talking about flea market.

Montgomery. It's just like, it's just like a mini mall. Bedrooms, dinettes, living rooms. Riverside brawls. Yeah. So like this thing's like the biggest story, man. The fucking fight down in Montgomery. I guess there were these guys that didn't want to get on the ferry or something like that.

They had their boat parked where the ferry was supposed to go and they didn't want to move. Yeah. Bad parkers jumped the guy. And it became like a race war immediately. Like, because there was like five white guys. Yeah. And there's a bro across the river and he's like,

fuck it. I'm fording the river to kick this guy's ass. Like three dudes came out of nowhere. It was beautiful. It was awesome. And I guess I stopped watching. the video before the black chair thing happened or maybe i wasn't the folding chair the folding chair yeah one of one of the dudes picks up a folding chair and uses it as a weapon like wwee style towards the end yeah and like i was

looking at like you know the x timeline and people are laughing their asses off at this picture of walmart they had like a whole section of black folding chairs and i'm like i really don't get the joke but evidently this this brawl has been like a top five trending topic in the u.s this this week i think nathan i've talked about it for over now well good you can go to fax in the key to learn more about the brawl. So we're saying hello to Montgomery. Layup line today, I got Loggins and Messina. I had no idea.

Kenny Loggins was this funky, dude. Well, at one point, he was this funky. I knew him as the Top Gun song guy and Footloose. But this shit really slaps, Reed, this Loggins and Messina. The song is, uh, same old wine. It's the same. I feel like I've opened a rabbit hole. Loggins of Messina was him and the guy from Buffalo Springfield.

Joe D. Messina. And it's kind of like this podcast because like in the beginning, you came in. The first album was Kenny Loggins sitting in with Joe Messina because you were like, I just want to sit in on the podcast. And then the second album is like it's full on Loggins of Acina. So I think it's a cool, it's a cool layup line song. It's kind of like us, man. Now later they broke up after six albums.

Also sounds about right. We're like 700 shows in. Four years, though, maybe two more ago. But this fucking run they had was probably remarkable. Judging by that album I heard, it wasn't sitting in with Messina, but it was Loggins and Messina. House at Poo Corner? Is that a banger? Yeah.

I mean, honestly, all these songs, you would like Danny's song. You'd recognize it too, I think. But Jim Messina was also in Poco, which is like the Eagles farm system. Yeah. I was trying to make a Joe D. Messina, Joe. about Heads Carolina, Tales, California. But I think my musical, my eclectic musical taste is a little too highbrow for this group. The ringer, somewhere greener, somewhere warmer for you.

Yeah. That's right. Hey, uh, maybe Barstall. I love pirate ships. Yeah. Well, yeah, now it's the Pirates show. Uh-huh. How about that?

How about it? I've been reading business threads and shit. I can just text Dan to get the skinny on that. But like, I'm not a sports media. Uh, business like junkies so i don't know what the fuck's going on this don't sell dan don't sell i don't think he's ever going to sell again because if he sells again you got half of it away half of it away so anyways if you follow sports business i guess dave portnoy got back his beloved

company for like no money because because pen was like ESPN they're in bed with ESPN well it was one of those things where they were like i think pen was like we went out on this barstool stuff um because of the fringy kind of bar stool stuff that goes on at times there. A lot of regulatory concerns. There are concerns. And I guess, you know, ESPN was like, well, if you want to get in bed with us, you can't be in bed with them. And at that point, Dave was like, well, I'm not going anywhere. And then they were like, all right, well, our only choice is to gift you back your company.

I mean, it's good for him. Kind of unprecedented. The thing not as many people are talking about is that ESPN's, launching a sports book, which seems like a far cry from where we were a few years ago. Oh, things are changing. Things are changing. And, like, this is happening with the backdrop of all the negative news that's happened in the NFL. So, like, gambling is not going down because a couple guys get busted.

The guys, this is the first wave of guys who are made examples. And over the next couple years, guys will follow suit. Reid, we missed you. Yeah, well, you guys did absolutely wonderful in my stead. as I was saying, I was listening to some Jason Isbell and reading texts from you guys. Well, we didn't have kind of long either. But it seemed like Tom filled in wonderful. Tom hit a bomb. Mike hit a bomb. JP hit an absolute moonshot.

JP, who had like 14 home runs in the spring. By the way, I love that fall ball is starting right now. When I thought fall ball, I thought like layers, the ball is going to hurt when you hit it. Ball is going to hurt when you catch it. No, August, whatever it is. Yeah, August, yeah, it was first game was August 8th, which I think is way too early for personally for a fall league to start. You've got three, you've got four seasons, right? And 12 months.

Break it up evenly. Yeah. June, July, August. That's your summer. September, October, November. That's your, that's your fall. No, I really like it this way, Reed. And I was missing softball.

And I had a lot of redeeming myself to do because, you know, it's one of those things. I'm the sponsor of the team. I'm the boss of the company. Like I understand, you know, you guys, it took a lot for you guys to be like, hey, Chris, you suck at second base. Well, I knew that. Just fucking say it. I was out there feeling like Putin playing for one of those like Russian hockey teams.

And now I can be useful. And that's how I felt last night. Useful. Here's what I did. I said yesterday because like we need better gloves in the infield. You don't want to put me in the outfield because I can't track a fucking softball. Let me let me try the. mound you know it'd be good for my ADHD like I'm always in it um so I made read and

Matt go out yesterday I threw some fucking practice and I think you guys were a little nervous but when the lights came on show hey oh tani showed up and I'm talking about show hey oh tani with an apostrophe read so uh the Irish show hey otani three runs allowed I think four or five hits or so he's the bookkeeper I don't know I don't want to be Yeah, I think it was a four-hitter. Four-hitter. And so-me. Sho-Hae had four hits.

Okay? A couple infield hits. Out-hit the whole other team. Dude, you were dealing up there like a bunch of infield flies. Okay, this. So high, Otani. Yeah, exactly. I'll be workshopping that.

That's good. That's good. Good. Thank you. No, I don't want to get out. In all seriousness, the bit is overconfidence. I am not fucking confident that this is going to happen every week because there's three fucking divisions in our,

softball league and they're all mixed in we we miss the playoffs we kind of did a mavericks thing last year you know um where we were like hey we we want to be in the B group uh in the fall and it paid off but we're going to play some pro teams I had to go out there in a fucking helmet I'm in a football helmet you you remarked you saw that no somebody yes well because yesterday my plumber's over and I know the guy and we're just shooting the shit and I'm like hey I'm pitching night because I know play softball and he's like oh my buddy just had reconstructive facial surgery i think he said it that way and i was like yeah i'm for sure going to be throwing that helmet on wow the helmet the sunglasses which which helmet what helmet green light green light there's a there's a certain prop yeah that's

that's missing right now that's true but yeah uh yeah we went out practice you were you were you were finding the strike zone and then yeah i heard i'll post my ls hey carson do you have rams eagles and Do you have them in your home? Because it's a green light helmet. Yeah, I do. But do you do have them. Yeah. Oh, yeah.

Okay. All right. Do you want me to wear a different one every week? Yeah. No, what I thought would actually be funny for a softball uniform would be like if I went to like J.C. Penny or the mall. Did you know? And got like 12 to 15 of the same shirts.

You're not can believe the shirt. You're not can believe the shirt. Like same shitty Henley and every week we have something on. I'm taking a walk yesterday. Right. I'm walking by some tennis courts. This one guy says, Hey, Jim, do I have it right that you used to, no, J.C. Penny?

And then my guy, Jim, was like, I had lunch with him once. He was about five foot three. I'm just listening to this whole conversation about J.C. Penny. Turns out J.C. Penny was a lovely guy. Yeah, I bet. Not a short king, but a lovely guy. And then I had walked far enough away. I didn't really pick up any real highlights, I guess.

But not, that would be cool. But the best part of yesterday was Nolan, who's fresh out of Philly. Like, he's probably played softball in, like, rec league up there. And, you know, the shit talk difference is like he might as well be in a different country. I think you thought, like, Virginia's going to be the mid-Atlantic. And there's this big dude on the other team who's the homie. I love this guy. We were talking shit the whole night.

And it's all in good fun. But Nolan's up there. And he, you know, I think I heard you got a pretty mouth boy, that type of thing. And, you know, like Nolan's hair is impeccable. He's got great lettuce. He slicks it back. It's kind of a slick back part comb over thing. And this guy's just ribbing him for his fucking hair the whole game.

So it was like a major welcome to the big leagues moment regionally for Nolan. And the best line of the night was Nolan walks up and musters his strength to tell this big hillbilly. I mean that endearingly. My boy has been chirping him all night. Nolan walks up after hitting like three grounders to first. And he goes, it's you again, huh? And Nolan's like, yeah, your worst nightmare.

And the guy's like, I'd cry myself to sleep too if I had hair like that. I'm like, bro, he's just, whatever you tried. Yeah, no, it was great. I mean, as Chris said, so top of the lineup, you got C-long, you got J-P, you got Mike ripping the threads off the ball, bottom of the lineup, you get this Deloitte-looking ass fella roll into the batters box and he just right off the bat. he's like, oh, this guy's got his hair parted. I ain't worried about this one.

I was like, man, it's a slick back, bro. He's like, no, it's a part. And I looked, and it is a part. Oh, he's like a peeky blinders part. It's a peeky blinders part. You caught that guy's line drive, though. That was a nice play. I did.

I did. So the leather, the thing about pitching is less time to think about it. Just play. If they hit the ball to you, now I understand next week, I could get drilled in the fucking testicles and completely make a fool of myself. Which, by the way, I think I'm going to get a cup. I hear certain guys in certain cities where like, I don't know if there's a code break,

but like catchers gear out there on the mound. You know, maybe my plumber's buddy should have been wearing catchers gear on the mound. You won't even show up, but you're telling me I can't protect myself. I didn't know there was a fall ball. I just audition for the count boy in the lobby. Is it too late?

No, it's not too late. It's not too late. Come on. Hey. He did just have a tryout. I will say next week there's going to be one hell of a duel. It's going to be you and your football helmet against our old friend with the funky delivery in the baseball.

Oh, I saw him. That's our biggest rivalry. You're playing my buddy Kyle next week. We got a double header. All right, well, come on out. Okay. Yeah, keep the books. All right, keep the books.

Are you putting any English on the ball when you're pitching? A lot of English. That's the thing. I truly believe this. With athleticism, you can either do the thing or you can't. Like, yeah, you can learn to be good at something. I am not good right now in the first. field. But when I got out there, the only way I can throw the ball is to spin the fuck out of it.

So I don't throw any flat balls. You walk anybody? Walked about three, four people. Okay. But that's actually, it's not bad. Could be worse. I got out of jams. Kind of like when I told you in golf, I like to be in the rough. I like to put two on. I like to walk the ladies. Not on purpose. Okay. It's not like I'm not a misogynist. Uh, but like, you know, I had this one gal. You know, I threw two balls all of a sudden. Hey, look, I hate to see you go. but love to watch you walk away. Pretty much. But Homegirl was like the third pitch,

she just stood there nonchalantly, like on the plate, like making me throw a strike. I'm like, well, take your base, ma'am. Yeah. You know, had another gallon of Dolphins jersey. Made sure to walk her. But yeah, no, I also want to shout out the pitcher from the other team. I'm doing a thing this year, and I absolutely love it.

And I don't think it's going to work every week because I don't know if everybody's going to like being in the picture, but I had a nice rapport with the 58-year-old pitcher on the other team named groundhog. And he's on my Instagram. But 58 years young, the guy's doing splits. I met his old lady. Wow. Yeah, she was

out there on the mound post game. You know, softball is great that way. Get the families involved. Yeah. You know, so anyways, we're back. We're off the ground. We're 1 and 0 without some of our biggest sluggers. We were missing a number. Nate wasn't there. Yeah. We got some good additions from some free agent

pickups and we've got some we've got some college talent coming in. next week, Aiden, who is a multi-time softball champion at school where he just graduated, Quinn and P. Was he really? Yeah. Oh, wow. We found that after we hired him.

So it was good that he didn't close. That's a perk. Yeah, it was a great perk. That's a perk. What's the thing where the theory, where the best player, when he's gone, the team actually gets rid of the viewing theory, right? Kyle, looking at you. Maybe stay in Italy or Long Island or wherever the fuck you are right now.

You know, we were, we were crushing. No, we miss you, man. Come back. We need you when we play the A teams. Okay. Hard knocks, man. You know, I kind of want the cuts back. It was a feel-good episode.

No, it was. Now, I scrub through it 10 seconds at a time after 30 minutes. Because you remember that I know what this is like. You know, like, and I get the novelty to some people. And I think the producers do a great job. Hannah Epstein. I saw her in Shannon Furman doing that thing. Like, it is beautifully shot. It's artistic. The stories are compelling. But I'll be damned if, you know, after watching it, I went straight to the Johnny Mansell Netflix because I hear that is money. And the first 20

minutes of that has been very good. Yeah. Anyways, the hard knocks. Hard knocks. Let me run through. A lot of cowherd at the beginning, okay? Cowherd sense is so that he doesn't think Dwayne Haskins can win a Super Bowl. Unbelievable. Yikes. Does somebody want to tell me how that happens? Because a lot of these problems when people get in trouble, like I try to give people the benefit of the doubt. But it's hard, you know, like it's hard to give people the benefit of the doubt in today's climate.

But I think through things, like, you know, if somebody misspeaks, I'm like maybe they misspoke, you know, like I've been on the mic. Sometimes I have no idea what I'm saying. Could it be a producer that put that in front of them? Could they be going off a list from they could have done the same? the only reason I'm going through this is because there's nothing to gain by intentionally doing that. You know, like there's some things where people fuck up where I'm like, okay, there was something to gain there. I see what they were doing? And then sometimes you're like, what?

And this is one of those times. Was it a producer that had like an old script for same segment two years ago? Like what the fuck? That's what I would bet for sure. What the fuck happened? Kind of the same time. Most of the quarterbacks drafted. Yeah, your host should still have enough knowledge of that to understand that that that's a

mistake. Did he, and he read Dwayne Haskins' name. Yeah. And that's the thing about coward, man. Some of these guys are on TV so fucking much that they're just in autopilot. And I'm not excusing him because, but somebody would have to tell me what he was doing. I have no idea what he would have been doing. Well, he seemed more upset about the fact that the graphics said can instead of can't. And even though he said, Dwayne, he said Dwayne Haskins name right before. And then he was like, the graphic should say can't. That's what it should say can't. I got to believe the person, a who would do that would be so tone deaf, which Colin's been before, but also tone deaf and like and or agitating for for press. And that's not the kind of agitation that I'm used to seeing from

like a TV host. It could be sabotaged from a producer who hates their boss. Oh yeah. That's the kind of thing that's happened too that people don't realize like if somebody hates their boss and they're leaving like they could really like Reed could just absolutely derail my career. Wait a minute. So there was a media montage of the beginning a lot of Calhard. A couple highlights I noted there's a tree, there's a

beautiful fucking oak tree in the middle of the Jets practice fields. Dude, Bebel Conway, their facility. It's great signage. With the flowers. Yeah. What is that? Florham Park. Am I making that up? No, I don't know. Florham Park? I mean, beautiful. Yeah, gorgeous. There's a tree

in the middle of the, like not the 50, but in between a couple fields. That's cool. Gorgeous. Yeah, you don't see that. Did you hear Salah's eagle throw? Woody Johnson. Woody.

Woody goes. Curtis Martin goes, I could get, I think I'd get 500 yards out there. And Woody Johnson goes, Curtis, there's no question. You can know it.

I'm like, God damn, you are just one old white rich guy. Yep. Uh-huh. Yeah, akin to the guy in the first 10 minutes of Johnny Mansell's Netflix at a banquet.

He's like, you got yourself a private plane yet? I'm like, bro, it's different down there. But the Curtis Martin scene reminded me of on the sideline when they were at the Hall of Fame and they were all crowded around Dorel Revis and Joe Thomas. And then like they're panning to the left and I see Joe Cleco. And like he just looks confused. Like nobody's going over to say hi to Joe, Joe Cleco.

I'm sure maybe some, but players don't know who some of these guys are. It's funny. And also what came across is like these guys are fanboying Aaron Rogers, bro. Yes, everybody was. 7-11 slurpees. How are we saying Shreiber's name? Leev. Leavreiber.

Leev is how we're saying it. Leev was nervous talking to him. Sala was nervous talking to him. There was nervous laughing from Sala with Aaron. I also think the nerves are like just being on camera. Like you can tell when some guys are talking and they're not trying to like deliver a line, but they feel like they have to, whatever they're saying has to be good. Did you hear Sala's Eagle Crow analogy for the jokes?

And we saw it on Instagram too. producer Scott put it in the group text last night my question is why do we not see more crows falling out of the sky if they're always hunting eagles and then just flying up to 30,000 feet and dropping dead crows are also smart you know this they're really smart they do puzzles and sometimes they'll sit on the back porch and listen to them just communicate yeah i don't know what they're saying it's fucking dumb dude they obviously have a system yeah they haven't figured out the the eagle thing. Yeah, just get off the eagle before you die. Before you get asphyxiated. And what's the reason to fuck with an eagle? Another good question. Assert dominance.

So I thought because sometimes in YouTube I'll go back and fuck with people when they leave negative comments just to agitate them. And I thought Scott was like, hey Chris, relax a little. You know, like these are crows. We're eagles here. You know, like stay out of the comments. Aaron walks onto the practice field and the crowd's going, Aaron, Roger. And he goes to Zach Wilson. This is the line of the fucking thing, dude.

I thought I heard it wrong. And I didn't rewind it. Oh, I rewind it three times. I didn't rewind it. But I think he said, you haven't seen this before, have you? Bro. Is that incredible or what?

You just, the biggest balls. You haven't seen this before. Oh, here it is. Whop. Yeah. Oh, excuse me, sir. I was doing a drill here.

That's incredible. Here's my penis, man. I'm Aaron Rogers. Golly. Did you hear? Did you hear those people, dude? Because he's killing people with kindness left and right. Yeah.

But to Zach, he goes, you know, you ain't heard this before. But he is supposedly killing Zach's dead with kindness. Yeah. Because everybody's being nice to Zach. That's the funny thing about being an NFL player and failing or, you know, like, riding that wave. You know you're standing in the building. And I've been on both ends of it. Like, I've been a draft pick.

where people are like pick it up, not like him, but like pick it up. And I've been the guy where I'm the guy. And you sometimes that paranoia will kill you. And I know for him, like coming to work this year, it was probably like, what are guys going to think of me? Garrett Wilson felt, I don't want to speak on what he thinks or doesn't think. But if you watch the clips last year, guys didn't like him. And, you know, you watch Hard Knocks now. And he's like, it's all smiles.

And I think that it's telling because, like, you know, it's not personal. it's just you're in the way of what we're trying to do right now. And he's not in the way this year. He used to assume a totally different role. And it's probably fucking freeing, dude, because this is the first time he hasn't been expected to be the guy in his entire life. Yeah. At the same time,

I don't like the coaching strategy by Ulbrick of like showing the clip of Aaron Rogers and being like, that's our quarterback. We're in any game because at some point there is that possible letdown where like he can't play for a week or two and then it's like, oh, we're fucked. Well, I think what he's trying to. to do if I could be coach translator is he's trying to instill confidence in a group that's beat down like if I was in you know in my experience in St. Louis where we're holding teams to 20 points and losing or 17 points and losing for an entire year and then somebody showed up like I think we would make a big deal about it because it's like hey the fucking lifeboats here um but I agree like mindset wise as a defense you should play defense like it's going to be sudden change three and out the whole game because that's when defenses play the best. So that's going to be a tough thing for them, adjusting to that security blanket of, oh, all of a sudden, we're going to score 30 points some games. That guy, Ulbrick,

loves having the projector on his face, like standing up in front of the screen. So the projector's on his face. William Hayes used to love that. You should just get up shirtless in the middle of the meeting in a dark room with like seven on seven draped over his naked body and just stand there and look at the coaches until we stop the meeting, bro. It does give off like a, grinder vibe like I'm gritty there's a projector or like a mental illness vibe one or the other i was like well you sit down you're scared the coaches we just wanted a break there's a water break there's a great put out a cigarette or a marijuana cigarette celebration did you see this and then you put it out on somebody's arm to finish it yeah that was very good it's boys being boys

man it's hard knocks it's i mean you know great line from quinnon shout out erin rogers for coming to help us out. Yeah. Yeah. And then the best part for me was, and I think Hard Knocks is a show that's right out my son's alley. My son, you know, he's seven, my oldest son. And he walks in this morning and he's like, what's that? And he's leaning on me. And I'm like, oh, this is something we could do. And right at the end of the Eagle speech, uh, solid goes, and that's fucking awesome. And Waylon's like, whoa. And I'm like, there's going to be more by like the third F bomb. He's like, I'm watching something else. So, I mean, Like my kids kind of into it.

We've been watching alone a lot. You know, the show alone? Well, we've had two guests from, three guests from alone. My kids are obsessed with it. I think it's a great show for kids to watch until they like, you know, gut a grouse on TV. I want to go to a Broadway show. I want to eat a carcucci board. He said charkoochery.

Guy's name was Tanzal Smart. He was probably the star of the show. Nick Van Exel had a cameo. That was cool, which was cool. And I loved his breakdown. He was like, offense is going to be. be better division's a real bitch though yeah i was like man you could do this yeah nick van exel twitter friend i don't even know how that happened and i loved uh carter and crockett

fanboying over jason garrett i'm like bro they're not on the internet are they uh to the point where like they were missing all the curtis martin and shit was at practice um i love schrever's helicopter entrance that was a beautiful shot i love the music we had talking heads voices uh we had i think we had cream. You had a cream cover. Al Michaels. Yeah, it was sick. And it was right after Method Man's appearance.

Yep. Which is epic. Method Man. Love Method Man in the Mirror. Man in the Glass. You probably heard it, what, 12 times? I'm not over it.

In your career? 13, 11, 12, 13. 44. Yeah. Yeah. Every season being, well, I'll grow. So add four years to that. He did.

Well, we didn't know. We didn't read Man in the Glass before. every game in college. John Blake had another four years to that. No, it's just John Blake. Okay. Now, I read it personally before every game.

Coach Groh read it as he retired. How much of it do you know? From coaching? None. Yeah, well, you should learn it. I mean, and then look in the mirror. Yeah. So Nathaniel Hackett with, you know,

trying to throw the ball off the goal post. And Rogers is like Sean Page. Yeah. That was hilarious. You could hear the hurt in his voice when he was like, that's a good one. Nathaniel jacket, huh? Guy's huge.

He's huge. I don't know if that name works, but he's fucking big, this guy. He kept going after Aaron Rogers' butt, too. He kept poking into the boat with a pencil. Well, and Daniel himself had a bdonk on him. Here's the thing about Nathaniel Hackett. And again, it goes back to the Zach Wilson thing.

You're in the way of what we're doing right now. You could be the least popular guy in school. It's going to be hard to be the most popular guy in school at the next turn at 10th grade. But if you're cool and guys like you, your next job, they're not carrying that baggage, dude, you know, like at all. So if you're cool and you get along with the most important guy

in the building, most importantly, and you can talk to people, like, they're not thinking about that. Well, and you saw there are already some issues with the Jets offensive scheme because at one point Aaron Rogers was like, why do you throw the tight in there, tight end in there?

You did that Nathan O'Hackinson, I know about six times in a row. It's probably an interesting dinner table argument between those two. I thought it was super weird that he said Nathaniel Hackett's really into Austin Powers and Goldmember. Yeah. Yeah, because those movies haven't aged well. No, and it's the second Austin Powers like coaching illusion in Hard Knocks in three years. Mike McCarthy had that mojo moment.

Yeah, the Mojo moment. What is it with these guys? Very strange. Is Austin Powers a good movie? Like if I watch it today, right? The first one, Whalen would think it's funny in like two years. But Chris, no. it's not for you

okay no and Aaron's like yeah we're Nathaniel and I are really close like on and off the field he's got a wife and four kids and I've got a lot going on I got a girlfriend

that's good that's good best shot of the show what was your favorite shot best shot or scene can't do the helicopter scene because I think that's just

got looks so cool getting another fucking helicopter I like the fact Here's what I like about Here's why he's cool You know why he's cool Leev? I guarantee you he's fucking cool

Because I guarantee you He didn't have to say They made me take this helicopter Some other douchebag Would have been like I'm off the helicopter Here I am I'm gonna break down the team

He was like no I'm writing that into the script That the producers Asked me to land in the helicopter And he said he's just ripping off John Fascenda like Yeah he's fucking cool And he's a sports guy

I mean, obviously, not just a golden voice. Yep. You know? Not just, you know him from various movies. Right. And I can't recall right now. Well, he was in one of the Wolverines. Wolverine movie.

Homies brother. Origins. Turns out he's American. Yeah, sure. Leev Schreiber. He doesn't just leave here. I like dumb games. I like throwing the football out of pylon.

That was about for me. But it's fun. Like camp can be fun. They're just showing you the fun. Well, and the Jets have editorial control this year. Yeah. And not showing you the not.

The later episodes are going to be different, where people start getting cut and they just go to commercial and you're like, something bad happened, you know, but the tension will, will mount as guys roster spots are. It was interesting that they kept in the, uh, when Leah was like, uh, why do you think nobody wants to do this? Yeah. And then Aaron was like, you know, you know, you know, I don't know what they want. Yeah.

reactions. I don't know if they want to be on this. That's true. And it was interesting that that was kept. And it was interesting that Leah asked him that. Well, Aaron changed his tune earlier. He was like, oh, I hate Hard Knocks. The only thing I like about is Leo Schreiber. And then Leo Schreiber was like, how you like hard knocks?

He's like, I love Hard Knocks. He's doing a great job. Well, you're my favorite part. Aaron realized that he's going to turn from weirdo to fucking most likable guy in the NFL. Here's what I think about Aaron Rogers, truly. I don't agree with him on everything. I think at times being that great at something can be really hard to manage.

I don't think he's probably an insufferable guy. I think he's probably every time I've been around him, he's cool. So all I can go off on that is like, have I been around you? Check. Are you cool? Yeah, check. And the teammates like him. Now, I don't know, like as Green Bay gets further in the rear view mirror, like,

or guys going to come out and tell horror stories. and it's fucking week one. It's the honeymoon. Yeah. You know? I got a best scene for you. Like all of a sudden, uh, that receiver that was like, ah, you were, you were rookie. I was seven years old.

Like the last game he's going to be a, you old motherfucker? Yeah. Like that's how much can change in a, in a season. Favorite part for me was, uh, Zach Wilson at halftime eating an uncrustable. No matter where you are, any locker room, there are uncrustables at every level. We used to put them in our socks. I used to put uncrustable. Cairns of dip.

I'd walk out like, like looking like, yeah, they would have busted me at TSA. Yeah. I had so much stuff in my socks. That was a great halftime meal. Yeah. And then you take it to the sideline, you'd be eating on the sideline.

Maybe that's a good dessert supplement, not supplement. A dessert, what's it called when you trade something out? Replacement. Start eating uncrustables instead of the chocolate cake. Ask me what preseason games are like. What preseason games are like. Hey man, what a preseason game.

They're fun. They're fun. They're not fun. Like, at times, they're not fun. Like, when I was coming back from injury in St. Louis, Jeff Fisher had me out there, like, way into the game. I'm, like, taking on a fucking G-Pole. And I'm looking at the sideline.

And you feel like your entire world's crumbling. You're looking around like James Laronitis ran off the field. I'm like, no, what the fuck? I'm like, text my wife. Tell her to get on Zillow. But it can be stressful. also pre-season games can be really fun. When you're a vet and it's over and you know it's time to take your jersey off, it's like the best feeling in the world. Now, I've been on teams

where, and I won't name the guys, they had too many uncrustibles at halftime and they were just in there too long. And they ran out and ran across the end zone and the balls in the air on the kickoff. Dudes in baseball hats and tucked in jerseys with no shoulder pads, pants full and crustables and sunflower seeds and the DC's like get them the fuck over here they got fine 20 grand dude so I mean like it can it can go south now if you know the rules of hanging out on the sideline you have to look engage you have to support your teammates you have to like and you are engaged you want the guys too well I can remember stephen means was like Stephen means in philly was a cult hero in the building. Like he was so fucking high effort that he made the other D-Lyman feel bad. Like I had

mixed feelings about Stephen Means. And I mean that in a really good way. Like I just love the guy and he played so hard and he did everything right. But when it was our time to sit, he gave us just enough discomfort to be like, we got to do well when we get back out there. He finished one game. It was a multi-sack game. Last play of the game, walk off preseason sack. He does his axe chop that like Jeremiah Trotter used to do it a little different, I guess. And the fucking fireworks go off right as the axe shops. Guys on the sideline are going nuts, man. Like you love that.

You love it for the young guys. And you love having half a day off. Like it's fucking fun to sit there on the sideline and do nothing. First year, first preseason game. What was that like, like two series, three series? Like two series because it was a high draft pick, but I needed like maybe 99 serieses. I was, it was like cars going by as fast as they possibly could.

and I was like, it was like I woke up on a freeway. Can you say leave me in? You can, but then you look like a hardo. Yeah. Like, you know. But when you get older and you're trying to fend off the younger guys, a lot of times you'd be like, giving me my fucking reps, you know? But if you're a young guy, you don't look like a hardo or try hard.

So, yeah, preseason is coming. You're going to get some good shots of the preseason games. I love those. This is where the show gets even better. So you wanted to play a game yesterday. You made up a game. Eyebrows? Eyebrows.

Yeah, eyebrows. So yesterday I went and got my haircut and then accidentally got my eyebrows waxed for the first time in my life. I'm no longer, oh, natural. So it was dark in there? Eyebrow front. It was dark. Like there were candles. Lillies.

It was a, yes, it was a massage table. I'm in like a weird style point where I'm gaining a little weight. All my clothes have holes in them. I'm at the haircut place and I'm like, fuck it. Let's trim up some eyebrows. And I'm in there and I think eyebrows. eyebrows eyebrows

I brows let's check out our browsing history Chris is a is a weird motherfucker especially in the shadows

I wonder what's going on on that phone and I texted you bro you live in the shadows your lights are off at your house bro every time I drive by

you drive by here's what I got Jodacy I'm not going to hold you okay which is a song by Jodacy or so I thought

because I'm in there with Will Anderson and he's such a great kid we're talking about music he likes to listen like you know he's like MJ with the Anita Baker he likes soft music and you know for the people who are about to hear the interview this is pretty funny shit but like I'm fishing to get this kid to give me a song

he's like I like 90s music before the game and I'm like give me a song he's like ah man maybe Jodacy I don't know and he's like I'm not going to hold you And I'm like, and I'm like, I'm not Joe to see. I'm not going to hold you in my podcasting voice. And I'm like, yeah, we'll do that one.

And the interview just goes on. And at least I said, I don't know that one. You know, I'm like, I don't know that one. And he was basically saying in like a very down south way that like, I'm not going to hold you up thinking of one. Right. You know. Now, two of your other searches here, I can't see the full of the Fulham's, but it's if you inhale, three.

It's supposed to be if you inhale through your nose. Okay. Because I was like trying to, I was trying to reevaluate how I smoke joints. Okay, great. And then. But I was high at the moment. And then real cow skin dot, dot, dot.

Yeah, I want a real, I want a real cow skin seat. I want to get cow skin seat covers on my tundra. Because, you know, like leather overrated, in my opinion. You know, a lot of people say your kids puke on leather. That's what it's there for. my kids better aren't allowed in my vehicles you know uh and so anyways like i just don't like to feel leather you slide down it it's too hot in the summer can be too cold in the winter yeah yeah so what do you got uh i don't think any of mine are very funny i think they're all see them yeah sure

yeah you tell me what's boofing that's not in my search history hoop grids that's a kinksin We were. Leo the truck. Leo the truck is a kid show. How high should crew socks be? I think we know why you're surfing that. This podcast is brought to you by Cash App, the ideal app for spending, sending,

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Check us out. We got the great Will Anderson, one of the best college football players I've seen in the last 10 years, man. And somebody that me and Stanford Steve have talked about on this show, I love the way he plays the game. I think he's in the right place. He's got good vets. I'm pulling for the Texans.

Will, how you doing, bro? I'm doing good. First, I want to say, thank you for having me on your show and your podcast. I appreciate it, man. It means a lot. And I'm doing good. Training camp has been going great, so I'm super blessed and super happy. Well, that's good to hear.

I know you just got off the practice field. How's practice been? It's been great. I feel like this is like the funnest I've had playing ball in a long time. Like, it's been so fun. Like, no school, no tutoring. Like, I just get to eat sleep football. So it's been fun.

You don't have to make the study hall at night and all that stuff. Yeah, I know the deal, man. Pro football is in some ways is easier. I mean, the football is harder, but you can kind of focus on ball. And that's what's great. Okay, so I read something about you. On this show, we do a layup line, basically that we pick a song to set the thing off. You liked listening to chill music like MJ in The Last Dance.

I don't know if you saw The Last Dance. He was listening to Anita Baker on the bus of the game. So what do you listen to before the game specifically? So I like Anita Baker. I like Whitney Houston. Whitney Houston's most definitely in the playlist a lot before the game. I like 90s Army a lot. No, like no artist in particular, like all of them really.

And I like Drake is my favorite artist or stuff like that. Okay. Do you like any Houston rappers? I just found out Travis Scott was from Houston. They love him down here. I mean, he's going to play this a little bit, but not too much. Okay. He's cool.

Okay. Do you know Zero? We got to get you on zero. We got to get you on MaxoCreme. And then we got to get you on Scarface. Scarface is an obvious one. So I want you to pick a 90s song that Will Anderson would listen to

maybe right before he runs out onto the field. Ooh. Probably some Jodice. I'm not going to hold you. Okay. Jodice. I'm not going to hold you. Come and talk to you.

I don't know that one. So that's good. I learned something new today. So that's our layup line, Jodicy. This is cool. I like that you listen to chill music. It's hard to, it's actually, I found it hard to calm down, so it actually makes sense that you would try to pump the brakes a little bit before you go out.

So I love that. Did you know before Houston traded for you that they were going to make a move? Like going into draft, I can remember when I went, I knew it was going to be like Miami or St. Louis. And then if it wasn't them, I knew I might fall for three or four picks. Being at the top of the draft, how much did you know going to? in and was it a big surprise? Yeah, so it was actually a really big surprise for me.

Like, my agent, she did a really good job, like, staying on top of everything and, like, letting me, like, know, like, 100% like, what was going on. And, like, we thought, like, I was going to go to Seattle. Like, Seattle was, like, if you have five, we're taking, like, that's where you're going to go. And then the draft came, and they traded up. And in the back room, like, it still said Arizona was still on the clock. So I'm like, and there's like 30 seconds left.

I'm like, I still ain't got no phone calls. So I'm like, they probably got somebody else. And I don't know why, but I don't know why, but like, I got my phone and I see the Texans calling me. I'm like, oh, because they had just pick CJ. Mind you, the carton was still on the screen. So I'm like, oh, they probably just calling me like, you know, hey, we couldn't get you, you know, but we still think you're done it. I'm okay. But then I answered it was like, we're going to draft you.

And I just went crazy because, like, this is my first visit. And like, it just felt right. Like the people in the building, the scheme, coach Ryan's, the staff, everybody. And, like, it was just like the best visit I had over all my visits. So when I got that call, it was like, I don't know how to explain it. It was a blessing, though. Dude, that's amazing. I can remember sitting in New York at the table because back in the day we'd go to New York.

And my mom's phone went off in the middle of the first pick at the table or her cell phone and everybody thought I was getting picked. It turned out not to be true. But, yeah, it's just a crazy process. I mean, like the rookie stuff, have they told you to make you carry stuff? Are you going to have to sing? and anything like that? Have they given you the down low on that? Actually, I think it's my time to sing today in the team meeting room.

No way, dude. What are you going to do? Have you studied Aidan Hutchinson's tape last year on Hard Knocks? No, I haven't. I got a good song. I got a good song. I think I got a pretty good song. It's going to be something that everybody. I wanted to do something. I wanted to have mine. It's correlated. You know, I want to have some music. You know what I'm saying? I wanted to do it the right way. So it's going to be good. All right, a little sneak peek. Do we know what song it is? What do you got an hour dude? You're going to be thinking about in the weight room.

I'm in my heart lift. I'm kind of come up with something. All right, that's good. Have they given you any shit about number 51? I know I read about your process where you say numbers don't matter. They gave me 30. I thought 31 looked great. And I think if you're fast, 51's going to look pretty good too.

And I know you can run. Have they given you any shit about 51? Oh, of course. Of course. They have. Especially the guys that I play with Alabama. Of course they have. They keep like, they was like, how you go from one bad number to another bad number?

You know, they're like, you're supposed to be on the field with the unsigned guys, man. These are like practice squad numbers, man. We've got to get you in a 90s number. But I think it's going to look fine, man. At the end of my career, I picked a 50s number because I wouldn't look fast. I wasn't fast anymore. I don't know if I was ever fast. How about hard knocks, man?

Like, were you nervous hard knocks who were going to be coming to Houston? No, not really. I mean, at the end of the day, I think I had to just, I'm more locked in on, like, the job and, you know, trying to get everything down packed and understand the system and the scheme and everything like that. So, like, I really didn't have time to think about if Hard Knocks was coming and if they did come, how would that affect me? You know what I'm saying? Yeah, yeah, I mean, it would be just a lot of cameras, but did you grow up watching that? Did you used to sit in camp in Tuscaloosa and watch Hard Knocks? Not too much, really. I like, I've seen little clips here and then, like, on YouTube and stuff like that or come up on my feed. I watch a little bit on TV, like in the training room sometimes. So it would be cool seeing all that stuff. It's good training camp viewing for at the hotel, like later in night.

I know it comes on. You should check it out. Two guys I wanted to ask you about. Okay, I'll start with Jerry Hughes because Jerry, man, you know, we overlapped. And I thought he was one of the most underrated players in the league. I got so much respect for the guy the way he plays the game. And when I saw that they were drafting you, I said it was like a light bulb went off. I was like, this is great.

He's got a great vet. in the room somebody who can probably help hone some of your technique but also just tell you how things are in the NFL what's it been like having a Jerry Hughes in the room to kind of to kind to guide you along this journey yeah it's been great like Jerry probably doesn't you know like even though I ask some questions here in there I literally watch everything Jerry does from the way he warms up to the way he he takes the field I watch all his reps I'll watch when he comes off the field I watch when he has to break everything and he's constantly with a thing that like from everybody else, he's constantly working his craft.

If it's on break, he's doing hands. He's doing like tight toe turns and everything like that. He's like just everything. And for me, just watching that, I said, that's how you stay in the league this long. You know what I'm saying? He practices like he's still a rookie, you know what I'm saying? And that's what I respect about him so much.

Like, you know, people joke a lot saying like, take this day off, take that day off. He's like, no, you know what I'm saying? At this age, he still has that drive, everything. And he pour so much back into all the guys in the room, Like he'll say, coach, can he stop the tape? Will, you could have did this, you could have did that. And I'm just with my notepad writing it all down.

But he's been like a great vet to have in the room. I look up to him a lot. He's a big inspiration. And, you know, I hope when I be able to be a vet, I can just do the same thing that he does. Because he comes to work every day. Like, he doesn't miss a single day. OTA, he was there, everything. So that just shows how much he loves the game and how much respect he has for the game.

Well, wish Jerry luck this year for me. I'm a big fan of his. I love watching him play. And Laramie Tunsel, man. Yeah. You know, great player. You get to, you know, right off the bat, see what the best of the best looks like. And he praised you pretty heavily the other day.

I don't know if you read your press clippings or if it came across the ticker, but this guy loves you. What's it like been going against him? And then what's the biggest difference in the way guys set? Have you noticed anything off the bat between the college and the program? Almost definitely. So, like, one, like, LT, he's great. Like, going against him every day.

like he gives me pointers every day like if he win a rep he'll smile at me if i do something good like i smile at him and i just love that competition but just as far as like the NFL to college like it's no hands like off his alarm and i'm just going to shoot their hands at you they're going to be really passive kind of more finesse and that's kind of what he is and i think um why he's so good is because he can stay square for a really long time when his pass sets and i think that's what separates him a lot from you know a lot of tackles in college like a lot of tackles they're just vertical set and they're throw you their hands right now. With LT, he's going to bait you, clamp you up, and hold on to you, just trying to take

you wherever he wants to go. But, you know, that's just a good thing about going against him. You know, that's probably what you're going to see a lot in the league and just keep building on it, you know, switching up your different rush moves, switching up your different stances, give them something new. And I think, like, early on, that's what I wasn't doing. And now, like, now that I'm doing it, it's starting to get better. And those reps are starting to, like, stack.

Yeah, it's crazy. I can remember getting up in the league and seeing guys pulling their hands back. You got single hand punchers. You got inside hand punchers. You should just be these big physical puncher guys that, you know, they specialize in the run game. But yeah, I mean, it's, I kind of wonder with that chess match, have you added anything new to your arsenal? What moves are you looking to develop the most at the next level due to the competition? Yeah, for me, so like I like power a lot.

So, and just watching like Coach Ryan's defense, you know, that's usually like, you know, that's what all his guys are built off just strained, power, relentless effort. So now just working on more speed. Like I got it. I just never, like, really used it. So that's just one thing, just to throw a curveball at him. You know, oh, he's going speed, speed, speed, speed, and then, oh, okay, we're going to go power this player, something like that. So, like, just having a fastball, you know, something like that. So those are things I've been working on, just speed, tight turning,

dipping at the top of the road, coast, rushing and stuff like that, just to throw him off. When you go power, are you working more one-arm post? Are you going two arms? Because I always found for me not being a longer arm guy, it helped me get longer to get sideways and get that one arm in there. And it's just all timing. Have you worked the one-arm stuff? Yes, I work one-arm all the time. And for me, I like forklift a lot.

Like, somehow just, like, just naturally, like, kind of go with my hands and just getting hands off me. So I'm like, I got, like, just doing a stab, forklift or double fortlift, or sometimes I go bull swipe and stuff like that. Yeah, dude, I can't wait to watch you put it together. How about, like, looking at the schedule? I was looking at your schedule.

I know you're focused on tomorrow the next day and all that stuff. But, like, some of the names that you're going to play, I mean, Lamar Jackson, week one. I doubt you've seen anybody that fast before, but there are some really good, you know, mobile college quarterbacks. What's the key to rushing a guy like that? Rush. Yeah. It's rush. Yeah, because I love that. Honestly, in college, when we play faster guys, they always say, like, condense the pocket or like, you know, don't let them get out of the pocket. And it just slows you down because you think about, oh, you can't, we can't rush like how we want to. One thing that I can say

about this D-Line group, we've been doing a really good job of learning how each other rush. You know, today we're just talking about, like, if we're going to eat as a D-line, we all have to rush together. We have to be on the same page, and that's how everybody eats. And so if everybody just rushed together and nobody's being selfish and everybody know, like, how to rush, I feel like we would really be a great defensive line. So just go out there and everybody do their best rush, but, you know, be smart with it. How about, you know, I just want to talk running backs for a second.

You've got a great one that you get to see in person. I love Damien Pierce. I know you guys are just thudding up right now probably. I don't know if you're doing any live, but, you know, just watching him hit a hole next to you, can you feel the power? Oh, most definitely. Yes.

Like, I watched a few of his highlights just like they came across, like I said, like my TL and everything like that and college and everything, because I didn't, like, grow up with Houston friends, so I really didn't know. But, like, I used to see him, I was like, bro, who is this? So now that I'm at practice and he's actually, like, doing it in practice, I was like, oh, yeah, he's the real deal. I have a ton of respect for him.

Like the way he runs the ball, his like center of gravity, and he can like balance and everything like that, but still has so much power and speed, it makes him really different. So, you know, I used to play for the Eagles. I never play with Devante Smith, but, you know, Eagles fans will love to hear you talk about him. You know, he doesn't say two words, does he?

I mean, he's pretty quiet. What was that Heisman year like? I mean, I think you were maybe a freshman that year. You know, you come in to see that, that level of greatness outside. What was it like watching him work? What makes that guy tick? Yeah, for me, he just loves football.

Like, I've seen the way he went about every day. You know, he was the same consistent guy. Yeah. And, I mean, like, we would have 6.30 a.m. left. And he'll be the first one in the training room on the first table, you know, getting, you know, treatment, whatever like that. And it just opened my eyes a lot. And I tell people all the time, like, I really, like, just going in there,

I took a lot from him. And I put it into me, like, everything that he used to do, His worth ethic was relentless. You know what I'm saying? Like, he practiced, like, you know, when guys get into later years, they may not want to do every rep. He's still doing every rep at practice. And I think just love for football is what keeps him going.

He wants to be better. He wants to be better than the next rep. You know what I'm saying? So I think that helps him a lot. But great dude, great teammate, great brother. You know, I'm just wishing him all the best. But that's what makes him tick. Just be better than that first rep he had and just want to be great.

You know, you were talking about Jerry Hughes not taking days off. and you said, you know, Devonte Smith wants to take all his reps. You haven't always been that guy because in high school, your coach didn't let you practice on Tuesdays because you would fuck the whole practice up because you were too good. Is that true? Yes. I just love how you said that.

You're like a shame that you ruined your high school practices. How about saving at Bama? You know, I feel like you guys are ready to go to the pros because of the way that program is run. What are some things that now that you are in the pros and you get a taste of it that Saban prepared you for without even knowing maybe? Honestly, like, even though, like, it's a lot of my bodies

and everything like that, it helps us when we get to the league because we do so much wear and tear. Like, it was like reps after reps after reps, and then when you get to the NFL, he'd like, oh, this is it? Like, you only got three reps here? Yeah. And then at college where we was at, you was doing 10 play drives.

eight play drives, back to back to back to back. You know what I'm saying? Like, nonestop reps. So when you get to the college level, you've been there, you've done that. And even if you get to a moment we have to do six plays, like you've been through, you know, harder. You know what I'm saying? I just feel like he tries to set you up for the future. Like, he knows you're great and he knows you're going to go through his system.

He's going to do whatever he can. So when you do get to that next level, you've already seen it, you're already prepared. He can just go out there and go to work. And then you got a Bama head coach now. Yes. That's kind of nice. What's coach Ryan's like? I played against him.

He was a hell of a player and a guy you knew, you just knew he would wind up being a coach. What do you see from Coach Ryan's? Man, he has so much juice. You know, he loves this game. He loves the process and he knows what it's like. He's been in our shoes. He's been in our position. So he knows exactly like what we need to hear and everything like that and the mentality that we need to have and everything.

But just as far as like a head coach that's hands on, he's involved with his players. you know what I'm saying like he's great like I'm so happy to be a part of this so blessed because like to have a head coach like that jump up and down with you running around you know what I'm saying like somebody make a good play he's running out there screaming everything like that you know that's what it's all about so I mean I can't say enough good things about coach he's great well him and Nick came on the pod so I was real appreciative we got a lot of Houston Texans guys on here so I got some quick hitters for you we got a couple minutes left here who's the next Bama guy you know like maybe that we don't know about that's going to be playing on Sundays with you in a couple years. Nage's been with God. I got two. I can't say one without the other. Okay.

Give us two. Yeah. It's all love in the outside lineback room, but I'm going to go with Dallas Turner and Chris Braswell. Both of those guys are great relentless guys, you know, that love, you know, to play football and can get after the quarterback big time. You know what I'm saying? Like so I play with both of them.

I know what they're about and they're going to, you know, catch a lot of eyes this year for sure. Okay. Cool. I got them on my radar. How about some advice for a team that might be joining the SEC soon? You know, like Virginia, our little school, they're talking about the Big Ten. There were some whispers about the SEC.

But the SEC is going to expand advice for those players that might be joining the SEC in the coming years. I'll start with defense first. If you cannot set the edge to stop the run, the SEC is not for you. You could do that too, though. I mean, you were setting the hell out of the edge, so yeah, that makes sense. In office, if you cannot run the ball, then the SEC is not for you. Okay, good. Good.

I'll take that right down the street to the McHugh Center and tell them that. You probably room with a lot of Bama guys, maybe some of them in the NFL. I can remember when I was in school. I was living in a house with 8, 10 guys. That's the fun of college. Who is the worst Bama roommate? Where's Vema roommate? Actually, I was in the dormant for two years.

Okay. And I had the same roommate, Drew Sanders. He's with the Broncos now. Okay. He was with Arkansas last year. He played off the ball linebacker. Drew was great. He was quiet.

Clean up his stuff. Yeah, he was good. And we were alike, too. Like, we both like nature, outdoor fishing and stuff. So one thing I can say is we had all our fishing gear all over the liver room. We had like bait. hooks, tackled, like all over the floor, everything. So we put that on above us, but we were real clean, like everything else is real clean,

except the living room because that's our- I'm surprised. I'm surprised you didn't pull a Joe Thomas. Do you remember when Joe, well, you were so young, but he just got in the Hall of Fame. Joe Thomas, when he was supposed to go to the draft, he skipped it to go fishing. He said that was the first time the Browns owner's playing ever smelled like fish bait. So that could have been you. You could have been Joe Thomas 2.0.

How about, how about, I love this. story you got five older sisters i heard some of the stuff they did do you growing up they they toughed you up uh they they were they were a tough crowd man it sounded like but if you were the big brother and i've asked some of my teammates this and you had five younger sisters yeah who's a guy for bama that you played with that you would actually let date your sister and who's somebody that you would not let near your sisters who i wouldn't let near my sisters that's the easier one right Brian Brantt. He plays with the Detroit Lions now. Absolutely not.

Zero. No. That was easy. Who would? I'll say Bryce or Mitchie. Okay, good. Great guy. Great guy, I'm sure.

Okay, a couple more for you. Toughest stadium to play in that people might not expect in the SEC. Tennessee? Yeah. Okay. And then a team you kind of low-key hated in the SEC. Tennessee. Okay, good.

All right. Hey, one more thing. You love the All-Star Breakfast at Waffle House or whatever it is. Is that your go-to? That's my go-to. And I got to get a patty milk, though. Okay. So I've already done this once, but I lost my, I lost like a fantasy football kind of thing in the punishment.

I don't know if you've seen this. Guys have to spend 24 hours in the Waffle House. Have you seen this? Yeah, I had to do it one time two years ago. I had spent 24 hours in the Waffle House. but you get one hour taken off for every waffle you eat. So I was out of there in 12 hours. I ate 12 hours.

I got to go back in a month because I lost again. And my question you would be, what do I have to have? I guess this is the all-star breakfast and the patty melt? Yeah, you got to get the patty melt. Or you can get the hash brown bowl. Okay, hash-brown bowl. I didn't do that last time.

I don't know if there's a lot of room for a hash-brown bowl when I got to eat 13 lovels. But, Will, good luck. year man pulling for you i know you got some weights to throw around so go do that and hope you come back after uh you get two three sacks one sunday okay yes sir i'm so excited to announce our new sponsor oakley express your style and build a look that's made for you you all know i spend a good bit of time on the river and in the woods and i need something that protects the eyeballs but gives me a clean fresh look oakley's are changing the game and it's time to discover a whole new world

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slash blue wire. Indeed.com slash blue wire. Terms and conditions apply. Cost per application pricing not available for everyone. Need to hire. You need indeed. You know, nobody remembers that we're supposed to go to the Waffle House. Not even you. No, I do, unfortunately. Like, we could just not do it. I don't even know if anybody's listening at this point in the show. Look, you being serious?

Well, it's kind of one of those things. Wednesday. So Wednesday's out. Out of pocket. Thursday. We're going to Baltimore to spend time with the Ravens. Hight! Friday.

You think I'm going to get off the... the RV and just walk into the Waffle House. Like, let's be serious here for a second. Let me level with you. So it's canceled? Not necessarily. But that's all I'm saying is just there's a wrench in our plans to go to the Waffle House for 24 hours next week.

It's like a weather thing almost. I would liken it to. So, okay, all right. You feel like you're buying drugs from a cop right now, huh? Yeah, I'm very uncomfortable. for a variety of reasons, including, I think my voice, just by holding this cigarette, has gotten more raspy.

A little more gravel to it. So I've lined up, I've lined up all day child care. Welcome me, Coach O to the show. I've lined up all day childcare on Friday. Now that can, I can unwind that in a second. Yeah, well, good. We can use your child care and hit the river.

Oh, shit. No, but honestly, we got to talk about Waffle House. But, you know, for people, we're trying to do it. We're trying hard. We're trying to darn this. Maybe people don't care. I used to get a lot of engagement from this show.

Now it's nothing. People would ask about like my dog and shit. Yeah. I talked about Taylor Swift for three goddamn months. I ended up canceling that trip and nobody said boo about it. Where'd y'all go? Like the meme with the guy and his girlfriend and a hot chick walking by. It's like Will Compton's Expedia trip.

Makin's thing that I forgot about already. Taylor Swift. Everybody used to be in the DMs. I would respond to all of them. Now it's cricket to there. People don't really, I mean, you know, it's okay. We're fine being the bad boys. I think it might be because.

They're going to send hard knocks to our fucking podcast next year. I mean, just because I blocked the Greenlight account, I no longer get notifications. I'll look into it on the back end. All right. That's a little joke. I don't block the account. I just haven't muted. How deep into your eyebrows would we have to find something greenlight related?

Yeah, what else? Hey, Ron Rivera kind of fucked up there. Oh, I got an ad about that. Oh, good. We'll talk about that. But you can't, listen, Biena, me, okay, a little reputation forming for hard coaching. But there's nothing wrong with that. I wasn't there.

I don't know how hard it is. But didn't we kind of already know that? We knew that. You got into that scuffle with Kelsey. We knew that. And then like 10 minutes later, Kelsey came over and give him that. That's kind of the, that's the book on Eric B. enemy.

Great coach, but coach is hard. And like, if you ask Kyle, he's like, yo, he's awesome. He just, you got to know how to take him. He's awesome. Like, he's just going to, he's going to come at you in a good way. But. All right. But Rivera can't then go to the media.

And I feel like Rivera let it slip and then spent five minutes trying to cover. it up and just it made it worse and worse and this is the second time in a couple years that Rivera's been like at the podium like and it's like a dad getting lectured oh and today he went he said can I can I do that over and he completely that's cool that for sure but here's my ad was bad it was for first take it was wind horse memes save it for ad man it's not great that's what I'm going to say it now and have a conversation about it it's you know wind horse saying hmm you know and and my question is hmm you know Eric B. enemy in Kansas City

for however many years very successful okay? It went a lot. Yeah. He decides to leave to go to Washington where is there a lame duck coach did he get some sort of assurance from somebody that he'd be the next guy is Ron not crazy about Eric being in the building?

I don't know it's a weird situation. New owner. Ron kind of feels like he's in a weird spot. But if you're Eric, why? By the way, I hear Sam Howell is picking up some steam. The Sam Howell train in Washington. I know some of our Eagles fans might not like hearing this,

but I'd love to have Sam Howell in the program. Sure. Awesome. Five and 12. Ron Rivera is plus 700 to be first coach fired. He's what? He's plus 700 to be the first coach fired. So I got a better at.

I got a better at. I'm just saying, oh, you want this B- Enemy guy. Got a better at. Pretty intense. college football rocked by hazing scandal hard cut helicopters over a fucking facility coaches they're all out there at the podium like hard cut to the locker room kids are walking out just fucking crying puking themselves pissing themselves it's everywhere hard cut into the locker room eric bianamy just yelling at all the players so good at being mean that's good you know that's good dom draper here we're not we're not in we're

not in sterling cooper advertising agency yet but i'm i'm fucking supplying the people it's really good thank you i got one along those lines well we're not there yet we still got to talk about mark jackson and i mean we're just we're just we're just we're just thoroughbreds in the starting gate you know whoops compound fracture nice to know you pow lights out upper room. Heaven sent. Oh, man. Okay.

You want to be like a wild horse. That's the better life. Oh, like, Kingston back in high school with Elizabeth. Their song was wild horses. Oh, by the way,

speaking of Kingston and romance, the reason he played so fucking well last night, by the way, hit a double, thought both his hamstrings might explode. I have never seen him run that that far. and like he looked legitimately pissed that he hit it over the guy's head because he was like fuck i got to run yeah right it was incredible like take two i was like they disrespected him and they played in and

he put it over the guy's head anyways he also he also forgot to tag up one time we got to work on the base running yep but then he stole home so he's like we like what we're seeing out of kingston this year wow he stole home like they were all nonchalant hitting the cutoff man kings was like fucking i'm going there might be cocaine down there Are you about to tell me his girl was in the house? His girl was in the house, bro. She was in the hizzy. She was in the front row.

She was our whatever celebrity sits front row. You got some buns last night, boy, didn't you? Stealing home. Anyways, yeah. So shout out to Kingston because he just played a marvelous game. Thanks, dude. And you know, you put the extra work in yesterday. We all took BP.

I know you guys were kind of like you're feeling like you're taking your giant. toddler to the park reads looking at his watch like fuck when no i have to leave for jason isbo my boss wants to hit softballs you signed up for the shit okay but you guys are awesome for that and you play great matt i may not respect the man in the glass wait but that would be me i that's not what i meant i respect myself i don't and that when you get what you want hey that might be like the creto for self and the world makes you king for a day and i'm not judge just go to the mirror and look at that man and see what that mirror has to say what Whatever.

For it isn't your mother or father or wife whose judgment upon you must pass. Or gets you out of bed. The fellow whose verdict counts most in your life is the man staring back in the glass. Great. If you care it all about my verdict. You may be like Jack Horner and chiseled plum. Now it varies from, you know, version to version. And think you're a wonderful guy.

They can't even get the title straight. Some people call a man in the mirror. Some people call a man in the glass. But you're only a bum if you can't look him straight in the eye. Look. Look. I respect you a lot. Yeah.

I've heard enough of that poem. whatever you may fool the whole world down your pathway of years and get bats on the back as you pass but your final reward would be heart aching tears finish it for me finish it for me making uh don't cheat the man in the glass or some don't cheat that man john blake says bunch of five foot ten white guys runs out of the tunnel it's a st anne's belfield football ball with the bar to bang the bang dig but who i do respect teddy roosevelt is the man in the arena all right right right So mad, mad props to you,

Kingston for getting out there. That could have been awful. It could have been a disaster. Could have been a train wreck. But two for two. Yeah, he was great. Maybe two for three.

Anyways. Sho Hey, O'Tani. You know, watch out for that guy. Wait till we get Kevin O. Bad Backy out there. Yeah.

You know, he's my life coach. We have a bunch of potatoes in a cooler. We're just eating raw potatoes. like oranges. So the webcam company, Pop Soda, adult webcam company, allegedly offered Mark Jackson. Wait, is there a kiddie webcam company? I mean, you stop yourself to go back to adult webcam company.

Well, there are some like probably webcam communities where they just like knit. You know, like, and that can get weird because there's some weird fetishes where you don't even know you're doing porn and you're doing porn. You know, there's some, some things people are really- Pay $5 to watch me, watch, watch, TV tonight sort of deal. Yeah. I'm talking weirder. Like watch me sleep.

Weirder. It's more for like adult entertainment. But they're offering Mark Jackson, $1 million to do play by play. So I think it's actually a brilliant idea. I would have gone with Joe Buck. He would let

the play develop. Let it breathe a little bit. Mama, there goes that diaphragm. goalie's been pulled buckle in John Madden is made to do porn not do porn but John Madden was made to announce porn Madden orgy circling things

oh he's down there yeah his legs down there actually when I was YouTubeing when I was YouTubeing like some of the play by play is basically I can't tell if this is porn or John Now they're inside now, but inside isn't in the middle or on top.

That's underneath, I think, isn't it? Yes, it is. I mean, if you look at that thing, yeah, I never figured, I couldn't see, they're down in here, in this group here, I think. They are. I hope they're, I don't know why they didn't get up above or something. I don't know why they're underneath it. He would be great at calling a fucking orgy.

He's the perfect guy for it. Would not analysis, commentary, play-by-play, take the viewer out of the moment a bit? Well, yeah, that's why I picked Joe Buck. Not necessarily. Like, if you hear Mike Breen say, bang, just right at the right time, could be the perfect climactic moment. Yeah, you don't want Gus Johnson on the call. Digger Phelps, though, dagger, you know, like, Marv Albert with the facial. I love the Reggie Miller call.

This is one of my favorite bad calls. Johnny Sin says, you want to see physical? Welcome to your Kodak moment, Janice Griffith. fuck her name is i don't know i don't know the names of these people i'm not i'm not a that's not a put on i just uh i'd be laughing harder if i was familiar with the actress is this where bill raffrey onions comes in well if he was doing it uh with gus johnson right at the last moment i think bill raffrey's onions could get in there oh brent musburger you are looking live at an air bnbmb in Miami Gardens.

Like, that would be, yeah, Chris Collinsworth sliding in. I'd like to hear Hughie Brown be like, now you see you gotta like that. When you're a guy and you're watching Riley Reed, you love to see that. Here's a girl who's been performing at a top level for a long time now.

You really have to give her some. So here's a guy, here's a guy that can anchor a DP. That's Chris Collinsworth. Yep. I heard it an interview. ones like there's a big thing because sometimes like I am interested

in the behind the scenes of that stuff because it's fucking interesting you know you're going to work you're having you're having sex and you go home and you know but like it's highly produced it's not what it looks like on screen you know like they're like stop

okay so there is like a touch them all Joe yes there's supposedly a like when two dudes get on set, they like fight over who's anchoring the DEP. It's like the bad job.

It's like being a Big Ten equipment manager. That's a drive across the country. Nobody wants a job. Got your ball, Joe. If it was Jeff Van Gundy, he'd be like, can we talk about how there's never just two people having sex anymore? What's with all the threesomes?

And what happened to pubicare? I could actually, you do a good Jeff Van Gundy, actually. That was Jerry Seinfeld. Pretty much. Yeah, I don't have much more there. It's actually not a great segment. That'll be a dynamic one-minute segment. All right.

Romo, you wouldn't have to scrub through the video. You know what's happening next. Reverse cowgirl. Here comes the reverse cowgirl. Yep, yep, Jim, they're doing the reverse cowgirl. Boom. That's why they pay him the big bucks. Okay. Mark Jackson on the other hand. I don't even know what that. Like, why Mark Jackson?

Well, unemployed. Yeah, that's true. All right, are you ready? Mm-hmm. Dom Draper here. Hey, Dom. Tom Draper here. Oh, nice. Actually, I want to rhyme with Don. I'm Lon. I'm Lon Draper. Dom and Lon. All right, Lonnie, let's make some ads.

All right. What you got, bro? Okay. It's been a while, man. It feels good to be back in the boardroom. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. Hey, you know how you mentioned Northwestern? Yeah. Oh, you're cucking me. Did you have one too? I did. Okay, good. But if you want to go first.

You go first. Okay. I want to see how similar they are. Okay. Indeed. Okay. Now familiar? He loves season.

Indeed ads. With Indeed, you can search millions of jobs online to find the next step in your career. Heartcut guy sitting at his computer. Mm-hmm. This job's in Evanston, Illinois. Experience required. Bachelor's degree in making sure nobody is fucking one another

in a locker room for fuck's sake. God damn. The hell's going on over there at Northwestern. I love how you end the ads. Is it over? Hard cut, indeed. You need indeed.

That's pretty good. That's good. That's good. Was it similar to yours or no? No, mine was less, I don't know, thinking man. All right, so guys going through a car wash, right? Like the car windshield's all foaming up. You can't see.

It foams up heavily, actually. He can't even see the rest of the wash. So suddenly thud. another thud thud thud thud thud thud thud water comes down you know how it is in a car wash all of a sudden

bunch of naked o linemen for the northwestern football team they're just hitting his car with their dicks it's the worst car wash ever go to my car wash hard cut whoever's car wash wants to make some fucking money because that's what they're doing

at the other car washes that's not a good car wash or hard cut cats against the the the world yeah what a fucking disaster uh they also have a car wash where somebody in a purge mask in a purge mask runs up in dry humps shit actually i think that's like the bank and they're like come to my bank that's what they're doing over there hard cut what what happened what happened something bad don't tell us don't tell us it's going to make us sad yeah do a dead or alive don't do it I'm not doing it.

Do a dead or alive. Wait until after admin and then tell us. Let's have fun. Let's stay in this moment like children. It's not a huge deal. It's not a huge deal. Let's stay in this. It's an old person, yeah. Let's stay in this moment like children.

Jack Nicholson. Jackson. Oh, this would be a fun game, though. All right, hands off your computers. Have we played the game? I don't think Makin knows who this person is. Oh. Yeah.

It's not a big deal. Oh, so musician. Musician. And a, and a, and guy, guy musician. Okay, but not a country artist. Not really, you mother fucker. Not pure country. No.

Rodney Crowell dead yet? Chris Christofferson. No, don't say, don't say it. Don't. Well, you're not going to be that negatively affected. Okay. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Well, somebody died here, Matt.

Sorry. You callous. It was read who I was worried about. All right, tell us who died. Robbie Robertson from the band. Okay, that sucks. Yeah. The band, I like the band.

Levan Helms dead He is I'm sorry Reid I mean do we have many How many more members do we have They're there The soloist Not many

All right I'm done I'm done I'm done I think the black crows You used to ever go fuck with the Eagles on tour Ha

Just started showing up to their shows And fucking With all the guys The guy that died last week What's a name. Randy Meiser. Mani miser. Jumping on his back. Mm-hmm. Chris,

Christopher Robertson. What's his name from the Black Coast? Chris Roberts. Chris Robinson. I like him. But he's just back there, egg and their bus. Like, just gain altitude. I got a prop for this one. Oh, yeah? Yeah.

All right. He's got a big props to admin. Hey, you just got to, you just got to, like, screen. like what's in the box like five times okay okay okay okay okay okay okay okay and then what's in the box good that's good what's in the box it's good now you can open the box all right is in my wife's head it's haines ex-timp crew socks ex-timp technology is designed to adapt to your body temperature it wicks wicks wicks it wicks moisture a way to help you stay cool and dry

motherfucker, these are for you. I actually brought these for you. All over cushioning for extra comfort. There's a comfort tose. Why? Haynes X-Temp crew socks. Give those socks to Robert Shriver. He's going to say I was hoping it was something else.

No, but you said you might want to try these out. And like I regret, are you? No, I do. I'm just. Are you locked in here? Yeah, I'm locked in, bro. And then it's still connected. I wanted to make sure.

Do you see the tight ribbing? Yeah. Can I get rid of the plastic thing here? Yeah, go ahead. Thank you. Yeah, try them all. I appreciate it. Well, just one.

That's a sign of good sock now. Hard to get on. Do you have circulation issues? You think is that compressed? Is this like a Job sleeve? Look at that ribbon. Oh, you like that, huh? Well, don't have a...

Now, I got a complaint here. Okay. The toe box is too tight because the sock is not long enough. It's hangs X-Timp crew socks. Yeah, just get the right size. Not you. I'm saying, like, at home, just get the right side. Right.

But I can tell if they made them a little bigger, I would love these socks. Okay. Like, I feel great right now. I might put the other one on. Tight. Tight. Well, those are yours. Thank you.

Yeah. What's in the socks? Yeah. Hard cut. Yeah. That's good. All right. Hold on a minute, player.

Cut to a large ballroom filled with people waiting for a speaker. P.J. Fleck walks, up to the podium. He stands momentarily. Silence. He looks confused. He walks back behind the curtain. He walks out again. Again, confusion. Walks out,

walks back in. And the bright lights dim. Revealing a banner reading, welcome to the bilateral amputee conference. Couldn't clap. PJ Fleck was like fuck. So a

hard cut, Google Calendar. Get a handle on your fucking schedule. You know you're at a coaches clinic. As Kyle would say, decorum. Okay? You walk out all you want. I don't, hey, listen. I think somebody with no hands would laugh at that joke.

And they would be with me and thinking that PJ Fleck is a huge boner about that. Who needs an applause when they walk in the room? It's culty. Get a handle on your schedule. Hanging Dom Draper's jersey at the Raptors, bro. Y'all know about sleep apps? Yeah.

Having trouble sleeping? The Ryan Rissillo show available everywhere you get podcast. This is an ad for Chevrolet. Mm-hmm. Okay. Everybody with me? Yeah.

Andalay, on delay, mommy, E-I-E-I-O-O. What's popping tonight? Mm-hmm. Andalay, on-de-le-Mami, E-I-E-I-O.

If the head right, Nelly there, early night. Okay, all right? A bunch of Tahos and Silveradoes all driving around, right? Hard-cut nightfall.

This black vehicle driving up a dusty old driveway. You got trees on the side of the driveway. It's a sinister looking, sick-ass little vehicle driving up the driveway, all right? Imagine Dragon's playing. Does a damn donut at the end of the driveway. Window slowly rolls down.

It's Jeff Gordon. Call me Jeff Gordon and the Black SS with the Navigation, right? It's the Chevy Camero SS. Yeah. Chevrolet like a rock. Dude, that's just a good ad. Yeah, you got me. It's just a good ad.

Yeah. Like, we might want to just send that one in. Yeah, I really just try to shoehorn Nelly into most of these. Dude, that's a good ad. Thank you. Like, that should make you a lot of money. Yeah. All right.

Well, then let's cut this, cowboy. Okay. Not keep it, but if you guys, Chevy, if you fuck with us. I just got one of your Tahoe State Inpected today. yeah the past that's actually a good ad your ad thanks yeah yeah uh pee gravel you all know about p gravel yeah all right so hey here's the ab okay hey hey everybody when we come put this is a pea gravel company guy like guy owns a pea gravel company yeah he's the boss and he's gonna be talking i need to talk to him yeah well listen because i my have your guy here okay hey everybody

when we come put pee gravel in one of your neighbor's fancy pants driveways we won't dump a pile of the gravel at every single stop sign because our driver doesn't know how to drive

and shit if we did we'd clean it up we'd sweep it into the grass on the side of the road or heaven's back into our truck because otherwise you're going to be driving over that shit for the next two years just grinding it into the asphalt all throughout your fucking neighborhood.

Because these other fucking companies, these pea gravel companies, hired drivers who don't drive worth a dick. Now I've got to drive through pea gravel every single fucking day on asphalt. It's an asphalt road. And I'm driving through rocks. Because you don't know how to drive. And, and damn it, you don't have the integrity to go clean up after yourself. Who's that man in the mirror look like?

Hard cut as Gives? Like, what is this? Well, hard cut, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, fictional for now. Yeah. But there might be a, some people would be out of business. There might be a, uh, for, uh, for a, for a, for a reputable pe gravel company. You don't want to piss pe gravel people off.

Top five like, like, industry people you don't want to piss off like waste management, pea gravel. pee gravel because what they can do is they can break your window and just say oh who knows what it was mom or shot it into the yeah exactly so just be careful is all i'm saying it's a good point the weather's not great today this is the weather guy he's like the weather's just not great yeah there's no way around it there's yeah there's no way around it there's a hurricane there's you know it's category five it's bearing down uh it's objectively a bad situation and then the weather channel's like immediately like you're fired they give them the hook by dinner time so hard cut truth because what the fuck are are the orioles yeah you know what i angelo's family it's the same thing yeah he wasn't even mean

about it no he was like hey this is tight we're winning now he was like gosh guys we used to be bad but now we're great yep oh they gave him the axe yeah i think they suspended them i think he's kind of bad yeah well i prefer fired yeah because that you know that's good one topical all right care Have ever heard of it? Yeah. Hey, are you a CPR infant and CPR first aid certified? Do you live in the middle of Virginia? Well, boy, do I have a situation for you?

We need like some nanny help. If you call it in my hotline. Oh, you really want a nanny. Yeah. Okay. But like, be sincere about this now. Yeah. I don't want any fly-by-night nanny.

Yeah. I want your heart to be in it. These are three little angels, two little angels. And one about two out one in. You know what I'm saying? We're expecting. You're going to need a nanny. Yeah.

I know. So. We don't have one really. Well, yeah, we kind of do. But yeah, you're going to need one. Well, you know, we, we, we just might need the morning shift covered here for a little while. So call the Greenline hotline, you know, name, number, qualifications, you know. And we'll turn that right back around.

All here's one. Yeah. It's called Choo Choo Choo Beers. Choo Choo Beers. And so you picture a bar, your favorite bar. And next to it, they're railroad tracks, right? And so you're in there, you're having fun. You're with your friends.

And the train goes by. Well, good news, you're at Choo Choo Beers, all right? And when you walked in that door, you were giving a chip, like a poker chip. Anytime a Choo Choo Choo Choo Goes by, it's Choo Choo Choo Beer Time. One free domestic light beer, all right? Okay. Everybody's having fun because the train's rolling by the bar where you are now, and you get a chew-choo beer.

One free beer on the house. Now, I'm going to tell you about the origin of this ad. And it's earlier today when I saw a cowboy read in a parking lot. And he said, I saw Jason Isbell last night. And it was at Bell Island in Richmond. And toward the end of the concert, the Choo-Choo-Train went by. It's a choo-choo-train. I don't know if he said it like that.

But then I said, Cowboy, how about a bar where there are railroad tracks nearby? And God damn it, if we weren't looking at railroad tracks while we were talking, and there's a beer, you walk in, it's Choo Choo Beer. People time up the CSX schedule. Even then, I think you get them in the door with the Choo Choo Choo Beer, and they stay for a while. Hard cut fucking cheers in. Everybody having a gay old time, man. That chew chew, chew, chew.

That's good. Thanks. Thanks for the sis there, Cowell. boy. No doubt you took it home. I don't think I have anything. Oh well hold on now. I'm going to need a volunteer for this one. Okay. I'll volunteer. Oh, okay. Chris, don't read all the way through. You understand? Yeah. Oh, shit. He printed something. This is going to be really good. This is going to be really don't read all the way through. You understand? But you can actually, Kingston, you want, yeah. Yep, sir. Or Nolan, either one. Which character do you want to be, Chris? You can be Alex, Emily,

or Chris? I want to be Emily. Okay. Cowboy, who are you? I'll be Chris. Okay. Kingston, you're Alex?

Got it. Okay. All right. Here's a scene. A TV studio with a news desk and chairs. The skit begins with Alex sitting at the news desk looking serious. By the way, the title is called The Great Emoji

Debate. All right. There you go, Alex. Good evening, everyone. Our top story tonight. the great emoji debate. Our emojis enhancing or endangering language as we know it. To discuss this, we have two passionate individuals with opposing viewpoints. Emily enters

the stage, waving and smiling. Hey Alex! Hey Alex, so thrilled to be here! And represent the emoji community! Audience, chuckles. And we also have Chris, a staunch advocate for proper grammar. Chris, tell us your thoughts. Chris enters adjusting his tie and looking slightly annoyed.

Thank you, Alex. I believe that the overuse of emojis is eroding the richness of our language. We need to cherish our words, not replace them with tiny ambiguous symbols. Oh, come on, Chris. emojis add flavor to our text and social posts. They help convey emotions that words sometimes can't.

Like, how else can you show you're rolling on the floor laughing? Rolling on the floor laughing, what the fuck is even that? We shouldn't be relying on pictures to communicate. emojis can lead to misunderstandings. You're really sure. that winky face means the same thing to everyone? Well, maybe not always, but it's all about the context, right?

If you see a pizza emoji, you know it's time to talk pizza. That's my point, exactly. emojis are replacing our ability to describe things vividly. We're losing the art of language, and what's next? Emoges replacing Shakespeare? Audience

laughs. Chill out, Chris. Language evolves. And emojis are just another way. We're adapting to our digital world. They're like modern hieroglyphics, telling stories in a whole new way. Well, it seems we've got quite the debate here. Whether you're on team emojis or team grammar, one thing's for sure. This debate won't be ending with a thumbs down.

The characters exchange amused glances. I guess we'll just have to agree to disagree. But mark my words, there's a time and a place for emojis, and it's not in every sentence. And I say, bring on the emojis. Let's make our texts a bit more fun and colorful. Alex wraps up the skit. And that's a wrap, folks. Remember, whether you're sending a hard-eyed smiley or writing a poetic masterpiece,

communication is key. Stay tuned for more linguistic adventures here on Channel 7 News. The characters wave to the audience as the skit ends with laughter and applause. All right, now hard cut. Chad GPT. So I told fucking AI to write me a funny skit about the skit. something in the news and they come up with this bullshit that's that's not funny or in the news. Terrible.

At first the prompt was right to skit about something topical and they wrote me something about immunity boosting skin lotion. So then I said something in the news and then we just had a three person shitty ass debate about emojis. Bro, I was like you did not write that. No, I did not write that. God, thank God. That's artificial intelligence for you.

they're stupid so sorry for wasting your time robots stupid yeah there's gonna be dog they're gonna be robot dogs now yeah popped up on my feet no thanks hard cut all the ads written by these human beings on computer bullshit they're always gonna need us did y'all think like a like a good punchline was coming no i i thought maybe you were gonna just be like that's the end of the show That's all, you know. Mm-hmm. You did great reprising the role of Emily, I thought. Thanks.

You know, she was... Was it strange hearing your name? Like talking to a... It was. Yeah. Yeah. And trying to track the story. Did you put in the names or read the names?

Wow. Came out just like that. I didn't touch a thing. Chat GPT. Can't take my job. I'm Long Draper. It's my brother, Dom. I apologize then.

Not knowing it was chat GTP. for going off script a little bit. Oh, did you really? Yeah, well, I dropped a curse word in there. Oh, my gosh. Look at you. He did. I think we got some high highs.

Yeah. Yeah, I'll take care.