Guided Sleep Meditation & Sleep Hypnosis from Sleep Cove - How the Camel Got It's Hump - and other Just So Stories

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Starting point is 00:02:02 This reading is a collection of the first three shows. short stories from Rudyard Kipling's Just So Stories Collection. I'm reading this tonight because I used to listen to these as an audiobook when I was a child and it was read out by the actor Geoffrey Palmer who recently passed away. So this recording is dedicated in his memory. This episode is brought to you by Best Fiends. Do you want to have some fun playing a play a person? puzzle solving game that really engages your brain, then I can recommend the game best fiends.

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Starting point is 00:03:34 So let's begin. Rudyard Kipling's just-so stories. How the whale got his throat. In the sea once upon a time, Oh my best beloved, there was a whale and he ate fishes. He ate the starfish and the garfish and the crab and the dab and the place and the dace and the skate and his mate

Starting point is 00:04:02 and the mackerel and the picarole and the really truly twirly whirly eel. All the fishes he could find in all the sea he ate with his mouth so. Till at last there was only one small fish left in all the sea and he was a small stute fish and he swam a little behind the whales right here so as to be out of harm's way. Then the whale stood up on his tail and said, I'm hungry, and the small stute fish said in a small stute voice, Noble and generous wail, have you ever tasted man?

Starting point is 00:04:43 No, said the whale. What is it like? Nice, said the small stute fish, nice but nubly. Then fetch me some, said the whale, and he made the sea throth with his tail. One at a time is enough, said the stute fish. If he swim to latitude 50 north, longitude 40 west, that is magic, you will find sitting on a raft in the middle of the sea, with nothing on but a pair of blue canvas breeches. A pair of suspenders, you must not forget the suspenders, best beloved, and a jackknife. One shipwrecked mariner, who, it is only fair to tell you, is a man.

Starting point is 00:05:32 of infinite resource and sagacity. So the whale swam and swam to latitude 50 north and longitude 40 west, as fast as he could swim, and on a raft, in the middle of the sea, with nothing to wear, except a pair of blue canvas breeches,

Starting point is 00:05:54 a pair of suspenders, you must particularly remember the suspenders, best beloved, and a jack-knife. He found one single, solitary shipwrecked mariner, training his toes in the water. He had his mummies leave to paddle, or else he would never have done it, because he was a man of infinite resource and sagacity. When the whale opened his mouth back and back and back,

Starting point is 00:06:24 till it nearly touched his tail, and he swallowed the shipwrecked mariner and the raft he was sitting on. and his blue canvas breeches and the suspenders, which you must not forget, and the jackknife. He swallowed them all down into his warm, dark, inside cupboards, and then he smacked his lips, so and turned round three times on his tail. But soon as the mariner, who was a man of infinite resource and sagacity, found himself truly inside the whales warm, dark, inside cupboards. He stumped and he jumped and he thumped and he bumped

Starting point is 00:07:09 and he pranced and he danced and he banged and he clanged and he clanged and he hit and he bit and he leaped and he creaked and he prowed and he howled and he hopped and he dropped and he cried and he sighed and he crawled and he bawled and he stepped and he leapt and he danced hornpipes where he shouldn't, and then the whale felt most unhappy indeed. Have you forgotten the suspenders, best beloved? So he said to the stute fish, this man is very nubly, and besides he's making me hiccup.

Starting point is 00:07:46 What should I do? Tell him to come out, said the stute fish. So the whale called down his own throat to the shipwrecked mariner, come out of him. behave yourself. I've got the hiccups. Nay, nay, said the mariner. Not so, but far otherwise. Take me to my natal shore and the white cliffs of Albion, and I'll think about it. And he began to dance more than ever. You had better take him home, said the stute fish to the whale. I ought to have warned you that he's a man of infinite resource and sagicity. So the whale swam and swam, and swam.

Starting point is 00:08:28 swam, with both flippers and his tail, as hard as he could for the hiccups, and at last he saw the mariner's natal shore and the white cliffs of Albion, and he rushed halfway up the beach and opened his mouth wide and wide and wide, and said, change here for Winchester, Nashakene, and stations on the Fitchburg Road. And just as he said Fitch, the mariner walked out of his mouth. But while the whale had been swimming, the mariner, who was indeed a person of infinite resource and sagacity, had taken his jackknife and cut up the little raft into a little square,

Starting point is 00:09:16 grating or running criss-cross, and he had tied it with his firm suspenders. Now you know why you were told not to forget the suspenders. And he dragged that grating good, and tight into the well's throat, and there it stuck. And there he recited the following Slocre, which, as you have not heard it, I will now proceed to relate. By means of a grating, I have stopped your a-ting. For the mariner he was also an high berian,

Starting point is 00:09:51 and he stepped out on the shingle and went home to his mother, who had giving him leave to trail his toes in the water and he married and lived happily ever afterward. So did the whale, but from that day on the grating in his throat which you could neither cough up nor swallow down prevented him eating anything except very, very small fish. And that is the reason why whales nowadays never eat men or boys or little girls. The small stute fish went and hid himself

Starting point is 00:10:28 In the mud under the door-sills of the equator He was afraid that the whale might be angry with him The sailor took the jackknife home He was wearing the blue canvas breeches When he walked out on the shingle The suspenders were left behind you see To tie the grating with And this is the end of that tale

Starting point is 00:10:51 When the cabin port-hulls are dark and green because of the seas outside when the ship goes wop with a wiggle between and the steward falls into the soup tureen and the trunks begin to slide when nursery lies on the floor and a heap and mummy tells you to let her sleep and you aren't waked or washed or dressed why then you will know if you haven't guessed you haven't guessed you your 50 north and 40 West. How the camel got his hump. Now this is the next tale,

Starting point is 00:11:35 and it tells how the camel got his big hump. In the beginning of years, when the world was so new and all, and the animals were just beginning to work for man, there was a camel, and he lived in the middle of a howling desert, because he did not want to work, and besides, he was a howler himself.

Starting point is 00:11:56 So he ate sticks and thorns And tamarisks and milkweed and prickles Most scruciating the idol And when anybody spoke to him He said humph Just humph And no more Presently the horse came to him on Monday morning

Starting point is 00:12:15 With a saddle on his back and a bit in his mouth And said camel O camel Come out and trot like the rest of us Humpf said the camel and the horse went away and told the man. Presently the dog came to him with a stick in his mouth and said,

Starting point is 00:12:35 Camel, oh camel, come and fetch and carry like the rest of us. Humph, said the camel, and the dog went away and told the man. Presently the ox came to him, with a yoke on his neck and said, Camel, oh camel, come and plow like the rest of us. Humpf, said the camel. and the ox went away and told the man At the end of the day the man called the horse and the dog and the ox together

Starting point is 00:13:06 and said 303 I'm very sorry for you with the world so new and all but the hump thing in the desert can't work or he would have been here by now so I'm going to leave him alone and you must work double time to make up for it This made the three very angry

Starting point is 00:13:29 With the world so new and all And they held a palava And an edaba And a puncherette And a powell On the edge of the desert And the camel came chewing on milkweed Most grusciatingly idle

Starting point is 00:13:48 And laughed at them Then he said Humpf And went away again Presently there came along the gin in charge of all deserts rolling in a cloud of dust jins always travel that way because it is magic and he stopped to palava and powwow with the three

Starting point is 00:14:10 gin of all desert said the horse is it right for anyone to be idle with the world so new and all certainly not said the gin well said the horse there's a thing in the middle of you your howling desert, and he's a howler himself, with a long neck and long legs, and he hasn't done a stroke of work since Monday morning. He won't trot.

Starting point is 00:14:39 Woo, said the gin whistly. That's my camel for all the golden Arabia. What does he say about it? He says humph, said the dog, and he won't fetch and carry. Does he say anything else? Only and he won't plough, said the ox. Very good, said the gin. I'll hump him, if you will kindly, wait a minute. The gin rolled himself up in his dust cloak, and he took a bearing across the desert and found the camel, most scruciating idle,

Starting point is 00:15:17 looking at his own reflection in a pool of water. My long and bubbling friend, said the gin, what's this I hear of you doing no work with the world so new and all humph said the camel the gin sat down with his chin in his hand and began to think a great magic while the camel looked on

Starting point is 00:15:41 at his own reflection in the pool of water you've given the three extra work ever since Monday morning all on account of your own scruciatingly idleness said the gin And he went on thinking magics With his chin in his hand

Starting point is 00:15:59 Humph said the camel I shouldn't say that again If I were you said the gin Who might say it once Too often Bubbles

Starting point is 00:16:10 I want you to work And the camel said hump again But no sooner had he said it Then he saw his back That he was so proud of Puffing up and puffing up into a great big lolloping hump.

Starting point is 00:16:29 Did you see that? said the gin. That's your very own hump, that you've brought upon your very own self by not working. Today is Thursday and you've done no work since Monday. When the work began,

Starting point is 00:16:44 now you are going to work. How can I? said the camel, with this hump on my back. That's made a purpose. purpose, said the gin, all because you missed those three days. You will be able to work now for three days without eating, because you can live on your hump. And don't you ever say, I never did anything for you? Come out of the desert and go to the three and behave. Humpf yourself.

Starting point is 00:17:14 And the camel humped himself, and hump and all, and went away to join the three. And from that day to this the camel always wears a hump. We call it hump now, not to hurt his feelings. But he has never caught up with the three that he missed at the beginning of the world. And he has never learned how to behave. Camel's hump is an ugly lump, which well you may see at the zoo, but uglier yet is the hump we get from having too little to do. Kiddies and grown-ups too to-oo, if you haven't enough to do to-do. We get the hump. Camillis-less hump.

Starting point is 00:18:02 The hump is black and blue. We climb out of bed with a fruzzly head and a snarly varley voice. We shither and scowl and we grunt and we growl at our bath and our boots and our toys. And there ought to be a corner for me and I know there is one for you. when we get the hump can Melissa's hump the hump that is black and blue the cure for this ill

Starting point is 00:18:32 is not to sit still or frost with a book by the fire but to take a large hoe and a shovel or so and dig till you gently perspire and then that you will find that the sun and the wind and the gin of the garden too

Starting point is 00:18:49 have lifted the hump that horrible hump the hump that is black and blue. I get it as well as you-hoo-hoo, if you haven't got anything to do-oo-oo. We all get hump, camelisalus hump, kiddies and grown-ups too.

Starting point is 00:19:10 How the rhinoceros got his skin. Once upon a time on an inhabited island on the shores of the Red Sea, there lived a parsee from whose hat the rays of the sun, were reflected in more than oriental splendour, and the Parsi lived by the Red Sea with nothing but his hat

Starting point is 00:19:31 and his knife and a cooking stove of the kind that you must particularly never touch. And one day he took flour and water and currents and plums and sugars and things and made himself one cake which was two feet across and three feet thick. It was indeed a superior commensable that's magic

Starting point is 00:19:54 and he put it on stove because he was allowed to cook on the stove and he baked it and he baked it till it was all done brown and smelt most sentimental but just as he was going to eat it there came down to the beach from the altogether un inhabited interior

Starting point is 00:20:14 one rhinoceros the horn on his nose two piggy eyes and a few manners In those days, though Inoserous's skin fitted him quite tight, there were no wrinkles in it anywhere. He looked exactly like the anusaurus from Noah's Ark, but of course much bigger. All the same, he had no manners then, and he had no manners now, and he never will have any manners. He said, how? And the Parsi left that cake and climbed to the top of a palm tree,

Starting point is 00:20:51 with nothing on it but his hat, from which the rays of the sun were always reflected in more than oriental splendour. And the rhinoceros upset the oil stove with his nose, and the cake rolled on the sand, and he spiked the cake on his horn of his nose, and he ate it, and he went away, waving his tail, to the desolate and the exclusively uninhabited interior, which abysed. butts on the islands of Mazan Duran, Sokotra, and the promontories of the large equinox. When the Parsi came down from his palm tree and put the stove on its legs and recited the following Slocre, which, as you have not heard, I will proceed to relate. Then that take the cakes which the Parsi man bakes makes makes dreadful mistakes.

Starting point is 00:21:49 And there was a great deal more in that than you would think. Because five weeks later there was a heat wave in the Red Sea and everybody took off all the clothes they had. The Parsee took off his hat, but the rhinoceros took off his skin and carried it over his shoulder as he came down to the beach to bathe. In those days it buttoned underneath with three buttons and looked like a little. waterproof. He said nothing whatever about the Parsi's cake because he had eaten at all,

Starting point is 00:22:26 and he never had any manners, then, since or hence forward. He waddled straight into the water and blew bubbles through his nose, leaving his skin on the beach. Presently the Parsi came by and found the skin, and he smiled one smile that ran all round his face two times. Then he danced three times round the skin and rubbed his hands. Then he went to his camp and filled his hat with cake crumbs. For the Parsi never ate anything but cake, and he never swept out his camp. He took that skin and he shook that skin,

Starting point is 00:23:06 and he scrubbed that skin and he rubbed that skin, just as full of old, dry, stale, tickly cake crumbs and some burned currents as ever it could possibly. to be hold. Then he climbed to the top of his palm tree and waited for the rhinoceros to come out of the water and put it on. And then the rhinoceros did, and he buttoned it up with the three buttons, and it tickled like cake crumbs in bed. Then he wanted to scratch, but that made it worse, and then he laid down on the sands and rolled and rolled and rolled, and every time you rolled, the cake crumbs tickled him worse and worse and worse. Then he ran to the palm tree and rubbed and rubbed and rubbed himself against it. He rubbed so much and so hard that he rubbed his skin into a great big fold over his shoulders and another fold underneath, one the buttons used to be, but he had rubbed the buttons off, and he rubbed some more folds over his legs, and it spoiled his temper.

Starting point is 00:24:15 But it didn't make the least difference to the cake crumbs. They were inside his skin and they tickled So he went home very angry indeed And horribly scratchy And from that day to this Every rhinoceros has great folds in his skin And a very bad temper All on account of the cakecrums inside

Starting point is 00:24:38 But the Parsi came down from his palm tree wearing his hat From which the rays of the sun were reflected in more than oriental splendour, packed up his cooking stoves, and went away in the direction of Oratovo, Emigrala, and the upland meadows of Anataravio, and the marshes of Sonaput. This an inhabited island is off Cape Gardafee, and the beaches of Sakatra and the pink Arabian Sea,

Starting point is 00:25:13 but it's hot too hot from Suez for the likes of you and me ever to go in a piano and call on the cake parsee

Guided Sleep Meditation & Sleep Hypnosis from Sleep Cove - How the Camel Got It's Hump - and other Just So Stories

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