Habits and Hustle - Episode 166: Lisa Bilyeu – Co-founder of Quest Nutrition, Creator of Impact Theory, and Woman of Impact

Episode Date: May 10, 2022

Lisa Bilyeu is a co-founder of Quest Nutrition, Creator of Impact Theory, and Woman of Impact. This one is raw. Lisa is extremely forthcoming with health and body image issues she’s had and continues to have while exploring the courage and confidence she’s found while healing from and working on them. Definite warning for eating disorders, but what she has to say is truly important, and the trust she found in herself is incredibly inspiring so we hope you can listen regardless. Lisa explains starting a film company with her husband led her to years and years of agony just waiting for anything to work, her struggles with food and dysmorphia all while attempting to helm a nutrition brand, and how she and her husband spent years putting everything they had into a company to pause those dreams for a new direction that then became Quest, . Ready for a complete zero filter, honest and shocking conversation about what it’s taken for Lisa to get the success she’d always wanted? It’s a lot, and so so worth it. Check it out! Youtube Link to This Episode Lisa’s New Book – https://www.radicalconfidence.com/ Lisa’s Instagram – https://www.instagram.com/lisabilyeu/ ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐ Did you learn something from tuning in today? Please pay it forward and write us a 5-star review on Apple Podcasts. 📧If you have feedback for the show, please email [e-mail]  📙Get yourself a copy of Jennifer Cohen’s newest book from Habit Nest, Badass Body Goals Journal. ℹ️Habits & Hustle Website 📚Habit Nest Website 📱Follow Jennifer – Instagram – Facebook – Twitter – Jennifer’s Website Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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Go check it out at trueniagen.com. That's trueniagin, T-R-U-N-I-A-G-N. And we have a special offer for new customers to receive 20% off orders of $100 or more using the code Hustle20. Definitely run, don't walk to scoop them up today. Hi guys, it's Tony Robbins, you're listening to Habits in Hustle. Fresh it. Today in the podcast, we have my dear friend, Lisa Bilyu.

Lisa is the co-founder of the billion dollar company, Quest Nutrition, and the co-founder and president of Impact Theory. Lisa has become one of the most influential voices in the personal development world. Her mission is to empower all women to become the heroes of their own lives, which she explores as a host of her super popular YouTube show Women of Impact. The show features women who have overcome incredible hardship to achieve massive success. And Lisa and her work have been showcased in countless media outlets, including Forbes,

Business Insider, Success Magazine, and the list goes on. Now Lisa has written her first book, called Radical Confidence, which is 10 No BS lessons on becoming the hero of your own life. Lisa tells the story, has she went from housewife to this mega mogul, and really talks honestly with a lot of humor of her whole evolution. Please listen to this podcast. It was very raw and very honest and I'm sure you can glean something because well I hope you can always glean something from the podcast but please leave me a comment, a review, let me know what your thoughts are. Enjoy. This is going to be a fun podcast today because I have my

friend with me. I have Lisa Villu who wrote a very good book called radical confidence This is what you're like a fat what you've been like on 574 podcasts. This is like number 575 This is the special one. Oh, me. This is this and here's a thing. We were just saying off camera there like Isn't it a beautiful world when you can make decisions in your life that end up leading you to a point here where I can sit here as my work to hang out with one of my homies?

So true. Like, I am, yeah, so thank you for having me. No, I'm so happy to have you. And like, like I'm saying, this doesn't feel like work. And I feel like when I even read your book, I feel so connected because I know a lot of these stories, but to be honest you went so deep into a lot of these things

I don't even know I know a little bit of them But I've learned so much and you did a really nice job. Thank you You're welcome for a first book person. You did author your awesome No, thanks. No, it's great. And then that's so in your mind What is your definition of radical confidence? So go, people literally would say to me, I'm like, wait, you're confident from Lisa, which are you confident? And it didn't feel real.

I was like, who the hell are they talking to? They can't be talking to me. Must be someone standing behind me. Because you know, when you're alone and you're by yourself, how you feel about yourself and I didn't feel confident. I have, I still have a negative voice in my head that once I tell me, I'm no freaking good. Like even like a year and a half ago

when this literary agent first reached out to me and offered me the book deal, the first words out of my mouth was, who would buy a book for me? So that's where I started to really assess, what are people missing that they think I'm confident and what I realized was that they just see me move forward. They see me show up, they see me standing

in front of the camera, they see me going on stage, they see me writing a book. But what they don't see is a radical confidence, which means I'm freaking scared, I'm petrified, I know I'm not actually any good. Like to go in and say I can write a book is naive because I've never written a book before. So I went in very unprepared. Like I didn't have a skill set on how to write a book, but I don't let that stop me.

So what I did, radical confidence, is coming up with a way that you can show up even when you're petrified, having a toolbox of things that you can turn to in moments where you feel petrified, in moments where you're walking into a room and let's say there's 10 other people way more experienced than you. Some people find that so fearful they won't even walk into the room. And so the book really does break down guys. I feel like this almost on the fricking daily, but I don't let it stop me. And so here's a bunch of tools and it's 10 lessons that you know, so 10 tools that you can use in moments of failure when you fall to your knees. What do you do? How do you get back up? When you're so petrified, what do you do? When you have no skill sets and you, the voice in your head is actually right. And saying, you don't know what you're doing. And she's right.

Maybe you don't know what you're doing. But how's right, maybe you don't know what you're doing. But how do you not let that stop you? That's radical confidence. No, I love it. And you just said it now and it's also in the book. And I believe in this that people always think that the confidence is the end result. That's the end game, but it's actually not the end game.

That's just partly, you need to do shit to get that confidence, right? Yeah. So people are waiting and waiting for themselves to have confidence to then to do whatever they want to do. But that's how competence really kind of equals confidence, right? Exactly. So that's actually the first night I say to people, people, like, I really want your confidence

and I'm like, okay, pause there. You want confidence to do what? And they'll kind of look at me for a second. And it's like, what do you mean? I'm like, well, what there. You want confidence to do what? And they'll kind of like look at me for a second. And it's like, what do you mean? I was like, well, what do you want to do with your confidence? It's like, oh, well, I want to, you know, go for that job I've always wanted. I want to change the career.

I want to tell my parents, I no longer want to freaking study science, and I want to be a stand up comedian. Like, people want the confidence in order to do something. Yeah. And that's where I was. For eight years, I was supporting my husband as a stay at home wife. I cleaned, I cooked, and that's where I was. For eight years, I was supporting my husband as a stay at home wife. I cleaned, I cooked, and that's all I did, because I was waiting for something to happen. I was waiting for when, when we had the money, when we had the time,

when we had the energy, when I had the confidence. And that when may never come. Absolutely. You know, it's because I think this is what happens. You said it also, we get stuck for many reasons, right? Our background, you and I were talking about this before about something else, but like, where, how we grew up, like what are the expectations that people put on us. So then we feel like we have to kind of follow a certain path, not the path that we want. And then life happens and you get stuck. And you talk, that's happened to you, you're Greek and you have your family

and that's what they expected. How were you able to kind of break that fear of age? Like you, because it's like baby steps, right? And I think just happens. But like, could you just talk a little bit about people who don't know, like a little bit about your background and how you were able to figure out Like all these little things that kind of equal the toolbox, I guess yeah, go this

This actually wants me because I don't know how to It's not that I don't know how to when I was stuck for eight years I didn't realize I was stuck right that's my most people feel the way yes And so in writing the book, I really try to piece out how I can use certain things for other people to identify where they are. Because to your point, I believed that serving my husband, when I say serving, I mean feeding here, you know, cooking dinner and cleaning and stuff like that, was part of what my future was going to look like in a way.

So even though I lost all my hopes, I lost all my dreams, I lost myself, who I was, I didn't really question it because I fell into who I thought I would become in a way. And so it's in hindsight, it's what I call pergatory of the mundane. So how many people do you know hit rock bottom and that's when they change their lives? Right magic happens when so many people say well, I've got nothing else to lose It's heartbreaking. So I don't want to like, you know Obviously dismiss the heartbreak of being at rock bottom, but it can be beautiful It can be a catalyst for a lot of people to get out

But for me, I didn't hit rock bottom. I had a month, it was fine. How are you doing, Lisa? I'm alright. How's life fine? I'm alright, you know, good. And is that the life we all want? Fine, good, whatever. Like it's like, I used it as a thing to just get by. Yeah. And what I realized that I was doing is every time I would feel badly about myself, every time I would even think that whisper, you know, that whisper in your head, you don't really wanna listen to her, but she's still there. That whisper's coming in that's like,

maybe you're not happy Lisa, I tried to distract myself. You tried to shut that voice out. And so so many of my distractions became very unhealthy distractions. It's what I call the like the squirrel, you know, the dog, like in the movie, where it's like the squirrel comes out squirrel. You know, and so it's like, how do you kill the squirrels?

How do you eliminate the distractions so you can actually look at the life you want and then maybe acknowledge that maybe you're in pergator the mundane. But for me, because I didn't hit rock bottom, I kept every time I, that was supposed to come in, I'd say to myself, well, how ungrateful am I to say that I'm unhappy when I have a husband that loves me? How ungrateful am I to say that I want to be quite happy when I have a roof over my head? Right, and so in moments of sadness I use gratitude of like, oh my god, is this my life? But you have a husband that loves you, Okay, now I feel better. And yet, what kept me there for eight years was every time I would say, I'm unhappy.

That voice then turned into, but how ungrateful are you? And what I realized is you can be head over heels freaking in love with some parts of your life and utterly miserable and unhappy in other parts. And you have every freaking right to ask for a better life on the things that don't serve you or that doesn't make you happy. Right. And I think also, I don't think everyone necessarily, the majority of people are not hitting rock

lot. Right. I think the majority of people are in the middle. They're like happy enough. They're complacent. They're exactly what you said where you are. So I think that would resonate a lot with a lot of people. Because when I read that also, it's like, yeah, that it's much easier to shift and change when you are at rock bottom.

It's way harder when you are kind of like doing okay. And then it's the guilt though. It's like, well, you justify well. You know, like I do what like you said, I do have that roof over my head. I like you know, I have a I am married to a great guy and then like that stops the start, right? Because then you think oh god like I'm just then you justified and then you just kind of distract yourself Then you move on. So what was it for you that? What was that like pivotal moment when you're like? I'm not gonna let this distract me and keep on doing what I'm doing I'm gonna actually like listen to this and kind of move in that direction that I want.

Yeah, so this is what horns me because Quest came along. And so I think to myself, what if Quest never came along? Right. So we would originally, the reason why I ended up being a stay at home wife was me and my husband wanted to make movies. We both had really bad experiences on film sets and we're like, let's just make our own money.

Should be too hard. Why? We're like, let's just make our own money and then we can make our own movies. And now we've got the dream life. So we just read an article where Steve Jobs talks about he just wore the same black shirt all the time because you're going to make a certain amount

of decisions in your life. So we came up with the, we thought was a genius plan. All right, baby, you're gonna go out you're going to do this entrepreneurship thing, right? It's like this is 2003 or whatever crazy. Yeah. So, but it was like, it's not your partnership. There was not really a name back then. It wasn't like a whole now. It's become it's so it's like the hot trendy thing. Everyone wants to be an entrepreneur. Its entrepreneurship is an entire industry. People who are hustling and doing and going. But back then, there was no such thing.

No, there was no such thing. It's so crazy. So to your point, I don't even think we use the word entrepreneur, you're probably right. It's like, we'll just go out and make our own money. So having seen this article, we play this game, no bullshit, what would it take? I love that. Thank you. I saw that, that was so good. Thank you this game, no bullshit, what would it take? I love that.

Thank you. I saw that, that was so good. Thank you. So the no bullshit, what would it take game? It's saying, what is your dream? What is the goal? Right. And without emotion, just ask yourself,

would it will take to actually get there? Once you've laid out the plan of what it will take together, then you can just ask yourself, if you're willing to do it or not. Because that's also the other thing. Some people, and once you lay out the plan, they're like, oh, I'm not willing to do that. And isn't that the most magical thing you can, like, conclusion you can come to? Because now you're not beating yourself up in five years from now. The fact that you didn't get to your goal. You can actually

say five years from now, oh, yeah, I saw what it would take for me to get to my goal. And I made the conscious decision not to do it. So the no bullshit war would take, game I would advise every single person to play, every time you got a goal. So we played the no bullshit war to actually take for Tom to earn enough money so that we could make movies. And so he'd met these two entrepreneurs at the time and they're like come work with us, we'll build a tech community.

Where did you meet these guys? At film school. So Tom's teaching at film school. These guys came in, it's just like temporary students. He met them, they were very impressed with Tom. They're like, we want to make movies too. Why don't you come along with us and we'll get rich together and we'll make movies together.

Right. So it seemed like, you know, like, oh, sure. Like that work. And that evening though, that is great. It like propels people. It does. The more you know, sometimes the worse it is, but it's so true. 100%. I love that you said that. So we then said, okay,

well, what would it take for Tom to go and join these guys and really try and go all in on making enough money? Right. So it was like, okay, number one, we'll have to move because they live in a marina del Rey. So number one, we'd have to move and because they lived in Munit, our Ray and we lived far. So for Tom not to waste time commuting because those are hours that he could actually be putting into building the business. So we actually ended up moving. We timed arm time, literally we timed from their place to our place as we were looking for an apartment to rent because we said, okay,

seven minutes, seven minutes feels about like right on like, it's not a waste of time. Anything more than seven minutes is like, really, you could be doing work. So we literally would look at all these rental apartments and we would time, how long it took us from the rental place to their place. This is why you play the no bullshit

what we did take a game because you need to see what it will take to actually go all in. And so part of that was, I would take care of everything else, because Steve Jobs said, only if you're trying to, you know, run a business, make really big decisions, you need to eliminate all the other small decisions that don't make any sense in your life.

Like the busy work. Like, yes, the busy work. Like, what color share are you wearing? Who freaking cares? Yeah, exactly. So Tom and I'm Pinkie Swar, and I say, cool babe, I'm gonna take care of everything else. You don't have to make one decision outside of work,

not one. I will do everything else and I felt good about it. I was like, it's only for a year. You know, I will call myself president, a bill you enterprises. Where, and I was like, this is, this feels good. Now what happened is I have a belief system that eventually I will be a stay-hung,

I will be a wife and a mother. And so after that first year, of course, you know, we all know it's not easy to make money. So Tom kept coming home every year, babe, I just need another year. I just need another year. I just need another year. And I had adopted the idea that I was the supportive wife and the identity of that. And so every time he would come home, I would dismiss how I felt.

This isn't on my husband. My husband's the most caring, loving the husband. Right, well, you're very clear about that. I just want people to know that, you know, it was me. I wasn't speaking up. I have every opportunity to tell him, no babe, I don't want to do this for another year. And I never did.

And I look back now and I say, why? And it was because I was taught as a young girl my whole life that eventually I would be a wife and a mother. So every time he would come home I would just say yes. Now this comes back to how I got the purgatory of the mundane. The voice in my head kept saying, don't worry, we'll make movies when. We'll do this when my husband's happy. We'll make movies when we have enough money. And that when what happens if it never comes. And what happened was it wasn't coming and we were miserable. And in that misery, it got to the point when my husband was coming home and I joke,

but it's like hashtag joke no joke. You know, it was like my own personal fight club. It's like he would come home and he's like, number one, don't ask me about my day. Rule number two, don't ask him about his day. And so I said, okay, what are we doing now? We've given up everything. We've working really hard for this stream, but this stream now has got lost. The stream went from we're going to make movies, we're going to make enough money to make movies. And now it's turned into we just need to make money. So what happened? And so eventually I basically said to him, babe, I don't care about money. We at that point we'd earn about a couple of million dollars in shares in the

tech company he was building in five years. Before I was even quest. This was before this is like the company that proceeded. Yes. So this is the catalyst. I said, I don't care about money. I don't care that we've just spent eight years because how many of us, and this is what I was doing, this is how I got to the eight years in the first place,

said after the year six, well, I gotta keep going. I've just dedicated six years, I have to keep going. And honestly, I wanna punch myself in the face because that is heartbreaking. That I would rather spend more of my life in unhappiness, because I don't wanna feel badly about the six years I've already spent in unhappiness because I don't want to feel badly about the six years I've already spent in unhappiness." Yeah.

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But it's also because there's fear behind it. People are afraid of the unknown. That's true, right? They're more comfortable with the devil they know. Yeah. Versus the devil they don't know. Right? So that's the thing. Like you have to kind of get yourself comfortable with the devil they know versus the devil they don't know right so that's the thing like you have to kind of get yourself into a place where that

mind that you kind of reframe how you see things that's true right yeah so how so then what happens so I literally said to some I don't care about my anymore we've gone off course like what is life about like I need you to be happy like I that's what that was kind of, I wouldn't even see. It wasn't even about my own, my house was about his happy. And I said, babe, you need to be happy. Like quit, like this is now actually impacting on marriage. And I always said, I will follow you, you're ambitious.

I love you, let's go, let's freaking, you know, try anything. The only thing I'll never risk is my relationship with you, period. And so he went into quit to his business partners and they admitted they were miserable too. So then it was like, okay, what would we do for the rest of our lives that we actually loved? And that's where quest idea was born. Now, I was still the supportive wife. So Tom comes home, he's like, oh babe, so we're putting up the house for collateral. And I was like,

I'm sorry, excuse me. But again, I knew I could get another house. I can't get another husband. And I knew who I married. I knew he was ambitious. So I'm very dedicated to that. So we're like, cool, great, let's do it. And he's like, but we have to sell this tech company before we can transition full time into this other protein bar company.

And because I was a supportive wife, babe, how can I help out? Just like I'll just ship a couple of boxes from your living room floor. It's like, okay, and he's like, you know, when we're at work, if you don't mind it's like, you know, one wear at work, you've done my measuring some ingredients, you know, and then we would rent kitchens on the weekends and in the evenings. And we literally were making bars by hand with rolling pins and knives with these business

partners. And so I'm just saying they're going, I'm a good supportive wife, whatever my husband needs. And what I didn't expect is that company would grow at 57,000%. Oh my God, it wasn't seen. But it's a big far cry from a tech company to a protein bar company. Yeah. Like who came up with that sort of, like that?

It was those three. So like, why? Where do they think of? Like, basically, the notion was instead of chasing money, which isn't bringing us happiness, what would we be able to chase every day and feel good about it? Great. And it was about a mission. Great. What is their mission?

Tom's and my family have had a lot of weight issues. Tom's mum and sister morbidly obese. Right. And he is literally, he gets worried about the fact that they're going to die early. So he's like, babe, you want to know something I can get up every day and fight for? It's my mum and my sister. That's a bit of a replacement to him. And so for me, it was same with my mom. I grew up with my mom was borderline andorexic and then literally swung on the opposite direction and became, you know, clinically obese.

I know, I want to talk about all the food stuff that you dealt with with all this stuff. But you took me out. So that was basically the mission and that's where it pivoted. But I want you to say something that I think is really important. There's a difference between a mission and a goal. I think people get confused, right? Yes. So tell us what you think, what is the difference in your mind between a mission and a goal?

Okay, so I think it has to start with a mission. What is that thing that pulls at your heartstrings? That when you are on the ground, when you've failed, let's say you've failed royally, let's even say you failed royally in public. Everyone has seen it. How the hell do you get back up? You have to have way more than just like, oh, I want money, I want a nicer house.

Like, that doesn't freaking get you out of bed, right? Like, when you're feeling really down, that isn't a motivator. Right. And so what is that thing that pulls you at your heartstrings? That's the thing. So every time I feel badly about myself, every time Tom felt badly about himself, every time we fell, it was we were reminding ourselves about the actual people we were helping.

That's the mission. Like if I get up today, if I overcome this insecurity, I could help my mom. I could help the anorexic girl right now that is out there not wanting to eat calories. And by me getting up today and helping make a quest bar, I'm now changing her life and I'm potentially changing how she perceives food. That's a freaking mission. That's a mission. Yes. And what's a goal? Then a goal. That's just an abstract. Like if that's more of an umbrella. Correct. Yes. And what's a goal? Then a goal. That's just an abstract. Like if that's more of like an umbrella. Correct. Yeah. Now, let's say that's your mission. Let's just say you want to

help people on their way journey as a mission. Well, there's different, there's many different ways you can do that. You can create your own company like question nutrition. You could work in sales for a health food company, right? It's still just still making sales, you're helping people get on that path. So now you have to say, what's the goal? What's the thing that fills you up on a daily basis? So let's say, for instance, my, let me give you real time. My mission is to create content that is going to impact a 14 year old girl to believe in herself. So she doesn't have to spend the next 20 years Unwiring the negative mindset I had. So that's my mission. It's very succinct I know the who it's the 14 year old girl. It's the why so she doesn't feel badly about herself like I did it

And I know the how it's through creating content Right, so I've got my mission. I know how I'm going to go about it. And now how do I set goals so that I know I'm working towards the mission? So the goal is the hell. The goal is the yes, it is the how. So let's say creating content. But now the goal is okay, so let's just say I live in a world where I'm like, oh, I'm creating content to impact girls. Well, how do I know if I've actually done it or not? So now I got, okay, my goal is by the end of this year, so let's, let's say in the next six months I'm going to create five different pieces of video content that is aimed at 14 year girls.

I'm also going to provide a I'm also going to provide an instructional manual that goes along with those. Great. Now you've got your goal. Your goal aligns with your mission. You're creating content. You're doing a workbook that helps the 14-year-old, but you know how much and by when. You need the freaking deadline and you know the what. You need that. So you're going to have that arousal just aimless. Also, we convince ourselves. Right? So I said, oh no, I've got it. It's like, that you're going to have that arousure just aimless. Also, we convince ourselves. But I said, oh, no, I've got it.

It's like, but I am so, because I can get in my head, because my mind's like, at least are you really going to do that? Like, who do you think you are? You're going to embarrass yourself. That can get in the way. And so now, but if I have a goal and I've written out what that goal is step by step,

by step, it becomes binary. Did I do it yes or no? That's it. Did I create the content? Yes or no? It may not have impacted people. I may have sent it out and maybe five people watched it. All right. Well, I'm still on my mission. I was saying I have to have gotten to the mission to help 14, but I've said a goal that aligns with that mission. And now every time I let's say I'm a mess up on a video, that can be ego-breathing. But having a goal, going to release,

you still got four more to do. You promised yourself your goal was five. And now, instead of getting emotional, instead of getting in my own head about, oh my god, should I really press record on the second one? I was really bad, maybe I shouldn't. I get out on my own head because I've created a whole, like, actionable task list, actionable

goals by deadlines that all feed into the mission. And that's why I think it's really important to separate those two, right? And then we'll dovetail each other really nicely. But you know, you talk a lot about this in the book and I, again, I agree. It's about those negative thoughts that stop you too, right? Because if you make that content, for example, and you don't like it, you're gonna say, oh, I'm a loser, I don't know how to make content.

What am I gonna do? But what your approach is, and I think it's very valuable, is you don't let that negativity stop you. You let it kind of motivate you. Yeah. In a way. I only did it because it used to stop me. Well, yeah.

And it was like, stop everybody. I swear on this book cause of content. Yeah, go ahead. I can only did it because it used to stop me. Well, yeah. And it was like, Stop everybody. I swear on this part because I can't really go ahead. I can watch, I can be polite. I can't have to be polite. Not here. So I called her the bitch in my head, because she's not very nice to me.

And so many people, so many people would say to me, but Lisa, be nice. Wow, you really talk me into yourself. And I was like, okay, like I feel bad. So I'm like, okay, well, let me talk nice to myself and I couldn't. So I'm like, okay, well, let me talk nice to myself and I couldn't. So now I just thought of feeling worse about myself, because I couldn't stop the negative voice. Yeah. So now it just becomes a double whammy.

So I was like, okay, well, if I can't like perspective, how can I see this as maybe a plus? So I really, I like sat back. I was like, okay, you know what, your friend, you trust your friends to be honest with you, right? To maybe tell you the hard thing, if it's your partner. Tom, if I told my husband, babe, I really want to achieve this and he sees me not acting in accordance to me saying what I want to achieve. He would come to me because he loves me and tell me the truth. Right.

And what he would say to me is, babe, I know you said you wanted this, but what you're not doing it, right? He's going to tell me where I'm going and I want that. I said this but what you're not doing it right? He's going to tell me where I'm going and I want that. I said what if your negative voice was like that? It's a kind of friend actually just pointing out all the things I'm doing wrong. So it's like instead of trying to be mean to her back and like fight her, let me put my arm around her, environment for a cup of tea, let me listen to what my home is trying to tell me. And so it was like how do I switch the words matter? Okay I used to

call her the bitch in my head. Now, what if she was my BFF? Even just saying that changes the way I feel about her. All right, BFF, all right, my homie, what you trying to tell me? And so the first time I got in front of the camera, she literally was so mean, she was like, you're terrible, what the hell, don't you ever do that again?

You're not even close to being like, as Tom, you literally embarrassed yourself. This is what the negative voice is saying. So I'm like, okay, right now, if I listen to her, I'm done. I'm never getting in front of the camera again, but I have a mission. So I understand what my mission is. And I have to understand that I've got two choices.

I can let my ego get in the way or I can keep moving forward. And now it comes to what's more important, your ego or your goal. And in that moment, you just gotta ask yourself. So when I ask myself that question, the answer was my goal. So in that moment, you just got to ask yourself. So when I asked myself that question, the answer was my goal. So it's like, great, okay.

So I know my ego right now has no place for it. So I have to listen to her. Tell me everything I did, Ron. She like, oh my God, did you see how you intro that interview? It was terrible. You had no understanding of how you're gonna do your outro. Lisa, you really fidgety.

Right, so I let you just let my freaking negative voice run wild. And as she started to run wild, I was like, maybe she's right. And so she was like, Lisa, your intro was terrible. Maybe she's right. Let me rewatch her. And I rewatch and I was like, Oh, yeah, she's terrible. Okay. Great. Now the amazing thing about your friends is they're giving you a warning. So I'm like, all right. So how do I get better? You better freaking prepare, so you don't embarrass yourself again. Great, now I have an actionable thing that I've listened to my negative voice. She's now helped me, so now the critic has become a coach.

She's literally told me all the things that I've done wrong, but she's helping me get better. And so now I've literally turned my crypt tonight into my superpower. Yes, and you love those superheroes. I do. I do. I love it. No, like I was, you know, Lisa, whenever I see Lisa, I always get a superhero.

Oh, I see. And today she took her socks off and gave them to me because they were a Wonder Woman. Because I was a horrible friend and couldn't believe that I'd, I bought you food. You brought me food. I didn't bring you clothes. I didn't bring you clothes. I do. I do. But I didn't bring you something super hero. And I was like, I didn't bring you food. I didn't bring you something super hero. And I was like, I know. I just put on my clean.

Wonder Woman socks on. I said, I'm going to give you my socks. You're like, you're not giving me, and I was like, yes, I'm going to talk to them by the way. I mean, because like, why wouldn't I? I don't care if they're dirty, not dirty. Because I think I'm a Pavlov dog. You know, like, I'm so used to you walking me so much.

You know, you gave me the slippers. I took the slippers. Even the necklace. No, it's the socks. And the next time I see you, I'm going so used to be walking. You know, you give me the slippers. The slippers, even the necklace, that is the socks. And the next time I see you, I'm gonna be wearing those socks. It's very good. No, I love that. But you know, you're lucky in the sense that

you have a lot of drive, right? Like you are actually even a perfectionist. Like you are, you're work ethic. You don't stop until it's, and this is part of the success, right? Like were you always this driven though, and this much of a, like you don't care about how many hours you put in. It's kind of like par for the course.

And so yes and no, it's okay. I've always been, if you give me a toss to do, even when I was a kid, I had to have OCD, like the, it has to be perfect. I'm not saying that as a compliment though, it sometimes absolutely serves me and it sometimes becomes detrimental. So it's like, obviously, became very much serving me in my career and then utterly detrimental in my health because I told myself, hey, Lisa, you don't want to get fat, so don't eat fat or carbs. And I was like, okay, because I'm a perfectionist

and I'm at OCD, it was very easy for me to not. And that's where a lot of my health issues came from. But with the business where I'm like, all right, Lisa, this is what it's going to take to be in business, I can, I do it, and then obviously there's the results. But that doesn't mean the results are always going to come no matter how hard you work. So that's where I go to the successes and guaranteed.

But the struggle is. So now if you're gonna struggle at something, do something that you freaking love. So that's why now, because I spent eight years doing something that I freaking hated, and I still poured my heart into it, I just promised myself I'd never do that again. And so now that I have found myself,

found business, love what I do, it's like I will give myself the grace to do it up until I don't like it anymore. And you know that's kind of because I never want to do something anymore that doesn't fill my heart out. But it is my personality to go all in. So then talk about this because I you know it's in your book about I call it disorder eating just because you were you were you anorexic or were you bulimic or were you somewhere in the middle?

What was your thing that kind of because of the perfectionism and also the distraction, right? What was the reason actually that you became, what would you call it? I wouldn't call it anorexic, but I definitely had an eating disorder. I mean, it wasn't that sort of for sure. It wasn't, yes.

So this is very regimentally though. Yeah, so this is where culture comes into play. I love my Greek culture, so this is not, I literally love them. But Greek women can be brutal. And when I say that, they can, they will literally no shame who you fact to your face. No, I'm sure. They literally will be like, oh, well, you know, you're so fat, they'll literally no shame call you fat to your face. Yeah, I'm sure.

They're literally like, oh, well, you know you're so fat you'll never have a baby. Like they'll actually say that to your face with no shame, with no shame. So growing up, I heard women calling each other fat or like, oh my God, having you put on weight. Now here's what's interesting. If the guy puts on 30 pounds,

it's like, oh my God, your wife takes good care of you. Totally. It's such a double standard. Double standards for sure. But look, I own my own response, like my own actions. So I saw this growing up. I saw that my mom was born to line anorexic. I then saw my 16 year old sister at the time who was very popular, going on those diet shakes. So I saw the impression, the understanding I had. What were you, by the way? I was super skinny. So you grew up super skinny. And then at the age of 16, as you start to blossom, I started to put on weight, and of course, not in the places I really wanted to. Right. And so that's where it was like, I was given accolades for being skinny, right?

By all the women that the older generation, it's like, oh, you can eat whatever you want, you're skinny. I then started to change my family again, being very Greek, didn't shy away from telling me. It's like, oh, God, you can't eat whatever you want anymore. Now, I was bullied when I was younger. And so I finally got my first boyfriend, all while this was happening. What were you bullied for?

I know you're right about the bullied. Oh, yes, just because. My big nose, I had a unabrow, like one of these like, you know know you're right about the bull. Oh, yes. Just because my big nose, I had a unibrow. Like one of these like, you know, you're of course sick. Sick, sick, sick things. Yeah. I had a head brace that wrapped all the way around the head

with the band, the elastic bands in the mouth, with the metal. And then I had a... The jaw's film. Yeah, you got a 16-kando. You know how to be... Oh my god, I love it. You're sick, that girl.

Hey, you're smart. You're smart, oh yeah. Oh my god, I love it. You just said that girl. You're my heart. Oh my god. I just think of that movie. It is so nice. I was like the, like the, like the, like the, like the neurodress. Oh my god. I probably read the nerves or all of those all movies.

I think we all were like that. But you know, like, I, and he's a thing. I do wonder how much other people have won through the same thing and it just never hit them, right? But I felt extremely insecure. I was teased for my lurks. I wasn't my brother and sister were born very naturally talented when it came to maths and science and I really struggled.

And so when you're sitting around the dining table and my dad, we just threw out math quizzes. And so I would know and my brother and sister would, I'm now like getting teased for my looks. My sister's very popular. My brother was very popular. So now all girls were only talking to me because they fancied my brother boys were talking to me because they fancied my sister and here I was getting teased and bullied. So I just had low self-esteem. And so all of that, they made me think as I was getting older, well or if I want to be liked, if I want to still get the external validation, which I think so many of us look for,

want to realize. That's social media, right? That's that is social media, external validation. Our culture has become all that, that's like the number one priority now. We don't even have real relationships anymore. It's all like who likes my picture and use this filter because I look better and we want people saying all sorts of things. Yeah. So I feel like. And that's why I covered that in one of the chapters. Validation is for Paul King because we all see each external validate and not we all don't want to blanket.

But that's true. Most of us do. And that's exactly what I did. Right. I was looking for external validation. I saw it in my boyfriend, who was my first boyfriend, and he was the one that was pinching my thigh, kind of saying, oh, you better watch it. And so I felt to be accepted, to be loved, I had to be as skinny as possible.

So the first thing I thought of, or not thought of, but I heard the people did, which is terrible, was always stick your finger down your throat. So I literally just didn't even think about it as being a bad thing. And so I tried it and I couldn't do it. I was like, too painful and I was like, this doesn't work. And so I was like,

what can I do? I can cut my calories. And because I thought, wow, it's funny and interesting. It's actually something I bad to work. So I'm like, I thought everyone else was doing it, so it was fine. And at the same time, I think the truth was,

and I put this in the book, in real time, as I'm actually writing the book, if I thought it was okay, why did I lie about writing? Why did I say I had breakfast when I didn't? Why did I, you know, you're a secret about it? Yeah, you know, when I had, yeah, shame, it's 100% shame. Like, when, because what I would do is,

I would try and eat as little as possible and then completely be starving. And so all of a sudden, I'd eat a packet of biscuits. And because everyone knew me as being skinny, people just then used to give me more accolades about the fat because they didn't realize what I was doing. So they were giving me, like, oh my God,

I can't, you can eat an entire bag, box of literally a box of cookies in one sitting. You don't put on any weight. You're so lucky, Lisa. And so my external validation came from that. How I felt about myself came from that. And so I got into a very unhealthy relationship with food. I then meet my husband. And the thing is, is when I started to feel good about myself, my husband loved me for me. And so I started to feel very comfortable, much more in my own body, getting accepted. I started to accept myself. And then I ended up being the stay at home wife. And back to your question, it's like, this is when my bad habit came up.

And I don't know if anyone can relate right now at home, but that you have these cycle of things. I know some people that OCD with like light switches and cleanliness, I have a few people in my life that are like that. And whenever I see it ratchet up, I actually now understand that it's something emotional. And I didn't realize that I didn't realise that these types of bad behaviours come, not bad behaviours, but unhealthy behaviours come from Filling in something else, you know now. I've just interviewed too many therapists to not know. Yeah, yeah So looking back, I realised I was unhappy. I was you know stay at home wife looking after my husband when I didn't want to I had bigger dreams and hopes and I started to look inwards,

and looked at the things that made me feel good, and so I started to get very obsessive about my weight again, and my husband didn't know. Like I wasn't saying this out loud. Did you didn't know? No, that didn't. Did you lose like a ton of weight, though? No, it wasn't really that, it just,

like yes, I got a bit skinnier, but it wasn't, like I wasn't anorexic. I was the person that was just like running on the treadmill right for an hour, and then looking at how many calories, and then going, okay, that means I can eat this many calories. So it was just a very obsessive behaviour. And I would, you know, bingy, but we would just use, oh, it's a cheat day, you know, and so you end up using the cheat day as a cover-up of the unhealthy behaviour. And so it was bad. It is a vicious cycle.

It is. How long were you doing that for the whole year? Yeah, on and off. I mean, when I look back now, it was probably on and off for at least 10 years. And then obviously before I met my husband, I was that. I was doing, you know, had an unhealthy behavior with the food.

And so I was getting sick more and more because I didn't understand what I was doing to my immune system. Right? 70% of your immune systems got in your gut. I didn't realize that because I had no knowledge of it. So I was getting sick. And so as I was getting sick. Well, I'm sorry, I don't want to interrupt. I'm curious. Were you getting sick at the same time as you were still doing this, it's a bit of a problem. So was there anything like telling you maybe I should go, like did you figure, did you know what was going on? So no, and this is the power of the mind. We can trick ourselves into seeing what we wanna see.

And so it was like, I was just like, oh well, you're being healthy, you're watching what you eat, you don't over, you know, you don't over-indulgely. So, right, and this is the mindset that I exercise. Yes, exactly. This is exactly what I'm telling myself. So, well, your friend runs on the treadmill for an hour.

So, it's like, it's not, it's, but they don't see behind it. But what they don't see behind the scenes is, I'm eating three egg whites as my breakfast and freaking starving to get death. And then my lunch is another four egg whites with green beans, right? And so it's like, it's just, I wasn't having food that was replenishing my gut, and so I was getting sick.

And so as I was getting sick more and more, the doctors were giving me more and more antibiotics. And as they were giving me more and more antibiotics, I was just like, oh, okay, well, they wouldn't give it to me if it wasn't bad, you know, or if it was bad. So I was just like, oh, okay, well, they wouldn't give it to me if it wasn't bad, you know, or if it was bad. So I'll just keep taking them. Now, as this happens, I started to, that was the squirrel, right? That was the distraction. Every single morning, instead of waking up and feeling badly about myself, or instead of waking up and actually

looking at the reality of my life and the reality of my life was, I filled my days with like, today's the Costco day. Tomorrow is the clean the dog day. On Wednesday, it's washed the car day. On Thursday, it's cook day, on Friday, right? That was my week and I would spread out my tasks so that I had and filled my days. And so to the point of the square,

every morning to fill the mind so that it wasn't looking at my day, it wasn't looking at how unhappy I was, it wasn't looking at how lonely I felt. I did distract, I created distractions and my distractions were you wake up in the morning Lisa where you've got to see how much you wait because you've got to see if you succeeded yesterday or not because that all all determined how I feel about myself. If I lose the weight, I'm happy. If I don't beat myself up, I go back to the gym

and I run on this treadmill. But here's the thing, it filled up my mind. It distracted me enough. And so that unhealthy behavior, as we started quest, as I was thrust into the fact that I was shipping one day and then we grew at 57,000%. And then before I knew it, two years later, we've got 10,000 square feet of just my department alone

1440 employees underneath me and shipping out $80 million worth of product I'm looking around and my behavior started to change right because I no longer Needed the distraction or distracted with the other stuff exactly, right? But now I was distracted on the grind, on the hustle, on the work so hard, because now I found value within myself. And it spilled over into a different type of unhealthy habit, right? Where I was hustling so hard, I burnt myself out so much, that my gut got in such disarray, I kept getting sick, kept getting sick, kept getting sick, the dog took me antibiotics

at one point, I even remember him saying this to me girl. He was like, you know, I probably shouldn't give you this many antibiotics, but I still took him. And, you know, where this story ends is, the dream comes true, quest is a billion dollar company, we get the dream house, it's like the dream, I was- I was-

I mean, yeah. But like the dream was, like in the days that were really freaking hard, the Tom and I would literally drive in our rickety car that had a hole in the exhaust, you know, the Ford Fulking. The Ford Fulking, the steering wheel battles when you go over 60 miles an hour.

On the days that we were really struggling as quest was growing, we would drive around Beverly Hills using that as inspiration, right? What dream, what house are we going to buy? And I'm in 90s hip hop gal. So I was like, in this one, it's like a very tough one. It's my funny past that I've gone to. Exactly. I love it. It's like very like MC Hammerish. Oh, thanks. I was going for that kind of working. Yeah, I was working. So literally I was like, okay, what's that dream?

Because to me I have to feel it. It can't just be, I want a big house. Like I have to have an emotional feel. Yeah. So it's like babe, I want to get a house with a waterfall. And when we get a waterfall, I'm going to get a bottle of Dom Perillon. We're going to blast some like hip hop music

and I'm going to twerk for you. And I'm going to do our own private hip hop music video at home. That was a dream! For Kendrick's dream comes true, we get the house, we get the waterfall, I have a bottle of Don Parillon in my hand, it is the day we're celebrating, it's not even like it was close to, it was the actual day ago. I've got the Bollochampain in my hand. I take a swig in celebration and 15 years of bad eating,

15 years of taking antibiotic, literally felt like it ripped my gut apart in that one-mone of that swig of champagne. And that is where my life changed forever. That was six years ago. I've still been, as you know, we've kind of met since then, that's been my health journey.

And I hit it, and I hit it for the first year, I didn't tell anyone, because I was ashamed, like how on earth could I say about health issues? When we've, I'm like co-founder of one of the largest growing freaking nutrition companies in the world. And I can't even eat a product,

and I was shameful. I was embarrassed. And so that has been like really where a massive part of my growth has come from is in owning the story, in looking back and saying, it wasn't the doctor's fault, it was my fault. And that is empowering. And I know people don't like the word for ownership, responsibility, whatever word you need to use. But for two years I'm trying to get better after this happened. I mean to the point where I couldn't stand up for longer than

five minutes at a time, I couldn't wear a bra for more than three months because my stomach had protruded with inflammation so much. Like it got so bad I could only eat around four or five ingredients. I had lost 20 pounds. So 20 was 20 pounds lighter than you see me now. My hair, I'll show you a photo. My hair was falling out because I wasn't eating because I couldn't eat. My nails were brittle. I was feeling faint.

So all of this happened because I'd had in hindsight, I'd realize what had happened. Now, for the first year, I was trying to get better. I was blaming the doctors. Everyone was blaming the doctors. I can't believe the doctors gave you anti-biotic. I was like, I know, like, I'm, they'll fix me. I'm gonna go to the best doctors and they'll give me a pill

or they'll figure me out. After a year, I was listening to all the experts except for myself. And so when doctors would say, oh my God, we've just done an allergy test, and you say you only eat four ingredients, which was beef, lamb, coconut oil, and like, salt, or chicken.

They're like, your allergy test says that you're allergic to beef. And there was like one of my biggest state of white. They're like, so you need to stop eating here. And instead, you need to eat more vegetables. Now, at this point I've been very okay eating fatty beef and yet I ignored my body, I was like well the experts told me I should eat this, I stopped eating fatty beef, I stopped eating the fatty protein

that I was eating, went to more vegetables and it wrecked me for weeks, wrecked me. And from that point on I was like, Lisa, you need to take ownership. If you can say it was me that did 15 years of bad relationships with food. It's not to feel guilty, bad, it's not to feel badly, but just take ownership. Because if I can recognise, I did that. If I can recognise the doctor said to me, Lisa, you know what, I shouldn't be giving you these antibiotics. Did I ever ask why? Did I go home and Google it? Did I do my own research?

No. Did the doctor force feed me the antibiotics? No, I took them. That was a choice. And now, the most beautiful freeing thing is, if I can choose to take ownership over, I can now choose to get myself better. I can take my power back and use it for good.

I love that. And except that that's a great message too, for people to hear. At Weaver, people are our formula. We believe relationships should be stronger than your internet connection, which is why we're committed to understanding your goals and helping you achieve them. Learn more at weaver.com. Now, how did you get over the food disorder, though?

I know you said you had another distraction, and like, are you over it? Do you still have boats of it? I mean, so it's not just disappear. I mean, no, it doesn't. And in that moment where I was, I mean, not moment, it was years and years. I mean, I'm talking, go literally,

like on my, the first birthday I had after my gut wreck, I was like, I'm not gonna celebrate my birthday. And my husband's like, what do you mean? I'm like, I can't even walk. Like I literally can barely walk. Little I eat a cake. Well, that was the celebration, right? It was like, oh my God, the celebration, the birthdays.

And I was like, so what's the point? And he goes, babe, he's like, your celebration doesn't have to mean what you eat, or like even like what we do. He's like, I can give you a back massage, I can run you a bath. He's like, I can buy balloons, we can wear party hats. Like, it was like, and so it started to make me rethink how I associated food,

celebrations, what those meant to me. And then I remember being in the gym and I was like, because I was trying to get like, I realized actually missed the gym. And so I couldn't walk on the treadmill because I could barely stand up. Right. So as I started to get a bit better, I was like, well, maybe if I just start moving my body because still my mind is still up,

but you still need to run calories, Lisa. Right. So I started picking up weights. And I'd picked up weights before and I tried to build muscle before, but never like, it was all in service of trying to lose weight, right? Right, right, right. But because I had been so weak in my mental state,

going to the gym and picking up like five pounds, I was like, actually, this is actually really good for my mind. Yeah, 100%. And I was talking about, yeah, I was thinking to the choir, right? So I started to make promises to myself. I just asked myself, like I'm always trying to ask myself

non-judgmental questions to give myself space to just answer them honestly. It's actually a chapter I got called in my book, called Open the Can of Worms and Embrace the Ick. The Can of Worms is a hard question and the Ick is facing all the things that come with asking that hard question. And so for me it's like Lisa, do you want to keep, like, do you want to be like this forever? Because the definition of insanity is doing the same thing and expecting a different result. Hello. So even if I got myself better,

what is my behavior gonna be when I'm better? Because we all know, right? In the moments of pain, we'd be like, I'm never gonna do this again. Like, oh my God, look, this is where it's got in me. And then we very much forget, right? Like I understand why. We do it almost to like help ourselves self-south,

but I never actually wanted to forget how bad I got Because I never wanted to get back there again And that's what I asked myself do you want to be back here again? And I said no, I said, okay, what am I gonna do right now that I can make sure I'm building the foundation So that when I'm better, I don't forget about how bad I am now And so I started to go, okay, what are the things that I'm going to do now? What are the habits? I'm going to start implementing into my life right now

so that even if my mind wants to go there in future, I've already developed the habits to not fall into the trap of what my mind and insecurities may want. Okay, so what are those habits? All right, habits. I immediately trashed the scale. I don't weigh myself ever, ever want. Okay, so what are those habits? Habits, I immediately trash the scale. I don't weigh myself ever, ever, ever, ever.

I have zero idea. It's real, yeah. Oh, I haven't weighed myself since this happened. Well, also because if people look at you, you know, you're so thin, like it's no, it's very obvious, right? And so people's first thing is going to be a gashure, you know? So that's the thing. I am only here, and I need people to know who I am.

You know who I am to my fricking call. I'm only here to tell the truth. Be a thing, anyone doesn't get anyone else anyway. I know. So that's why I wanted to bring that up. Thank you. Part of why I'm this light though, is because I still haven't healed completely with my gut.

So that's a part of it. Is that if I ate sugar right now, you give me three cookies, I'm an agony. No, I saw myself. I know. Like you, like, you cannot eat certain things. I can't, no. Yeah. So that's one reason why I'm unable actually to put on to get overweight. Now over Christmas, I actually was able to get on, like, to get a bit squishy, which I had to be like, I was like, oh, it's not. I don't believe it. So here's the thing, it was important to me to embrace it. And I'm so proud of it. I'm so proud of it.

Because I don't normally, because look, I'm so much, I've, you know, we're so alike, we've optimized how we show up every day. We have these morning routines, these habits, they're set ourselves up to be able to go out and hustle. You're really just the best. Yeah, I say and hustle. So the habits are the most important thing in order to set yourself up. I agree with you. I want you to tell us.

So first of all, what your daily habits are, that doesn't happen. And the best way to break a bad habit is to start a good habit. But go ahead. So I just know, when I'm working, if I have sugar carbs, it affects my starter, good habit, but go ahead, sorry. So I just know when I'm working, if I have sugar carbs, it affects my cognitive, like my literally how I think and how clear I am, because I went for, I wanna say at least two years.

That's not accurate. I never wanna lie to him. And he said, right, it's like at least two years I went without having any sugar, because I couldn't eat. So imagine two years of not having one bit of sugar or pro, in fact process foods, in fact I won't actually go even deeper with process foods.

All, everything was freshly cooked because that's the only thing I could stomach. Grass fed was the only thing like it all made the difference. So now imagine when I, you don't eat like that and then slowly you can. Now when I eat a cookie homey, I wake up the next day, my body, no, it can feel, I have inflamed, like inflamed joints, like I really noticed the difference. I'm so in tune with my body. So if on Christmas, I gave, I don't need to make business decisions. So I was like, oh, I can eat a cookie at A and I'm actually okay. And I will embrace the fact that right now I've made the decision that I don't have to be cognitively completely aware and I actually don't mind if my

joint her because I'm enjoying time with my family. So I could eat more. So I could eat sugar-dramed throughout the year. So you do that for four weeks or whatever. Like I did put on weight and I loved it. Like I didn didn't and that's why I want to make sure that I actually say that out loud. And when I say I loved it, it's because I've done the mindset and the work to get there. So back to your point of how I've gotten there. It was because I was so depleted and I promised myself, so what are the things I'm going to do? What is the foundation?

Okay, number one, the number on the scale messes with me. It does. I'm not even looking at what if I'm putting a muscle, what if I'm getting stronger? Right? Like the different things instead of losing weight, I want to get stronger. Just like the words I'm using in my hair of like going to the gym, how much weight can I lose today? Am I down in weight today? All of that is very negative versus me going in like, oh my God, can I get stronger today? Can I lift that 7.5 pounds and I couldn't yesterday? Like that is something that I could,

like it's me, it's me, it's me, in the sense of like the strength. And once I started to adopt that, it started to change my mindset and how I started to think about things. So then I went to a birthday party. What emotions do I have tied to food right now? And how can I start to unwire and create new habits? So birthdays now. I mean, look, I still freaking love dessert. And like on my birthday,

even if I'm like, look, this may hurt my stomach tomorrow. Like, I do want a freaking piece of cake. And so I'm going to eat a piece of cake. Now I know it has to be gluten free, it has to be soy free, it has to be sesame free. I mean cake doesn't have to be have that. And those are all the things that you're so intolerant to. Yes. So over the time, so first of all, it was, what are the habits right now that don't serve? You eliminate these habits. Yes.

So doing all of that, the weight, the scale, the look is staring at myself in the mirror. I would literally just stand there in the mirror naked and look is staring at myself in the mirror. I would literally just stand there in the mirror, naked, and look at myself and pinch with the areas that I hated, and then tell myself what I was going to do about it. Like, all right, well, today you're going to have freaking do abs for an hour or whatever, right? It was like, what are you going to do about this Lisa? Now, I like don't even remember the last time I just stared at myself nakedly in the mirror. Like it's just, but how does then social media play into this?

Because you're staring at yourself all the time now with the show, because you're watching things back, because you're like, you want to make sure that you are doing a really good job. That's what again, one of the greatest qualities is your ability to be able to hone in and lean in and be so like your work at this. And then also part of your work is social media.

So how does that not screw with your head? So now you've joined me to where I am today. I'm not there yet. Well only because all of this that happened, I wasn't in front of the camera. None of this, this was when I was behind the scenes. So you were already behind the scenes before this happened? Healed-ish.

So I was definitely all behind the camera. I wasn't telling one. We were still at quest at the time. Like I'm literally still posting. I remember we released, if I don't know if I've told anyone this story, I remember we released the pumpkin pie bar. Oh, I like that one.

And everybody had been asking for it for years, and it was a massive data and our company, massive. I mean, it was like so many people have been asking for it, so you can imagine huge. I couldn't even eat it. And I was so embarrassed and ashamed to tell people that I didn't eat it. I was posting photos of me saying just aim up breakfast, showed like an empty bar or an empty wrapper. And so when we started to get into impact theory, as I started to evolve, as I started to really say, okay, my health is really bad, what am I gonna do? My mind's it hasn't served me.

What is the life I want? Do I actually want to feel like this for the rest of my life? Right. And then I took ownership over it, and so I said, okay, we're taking ownership over it, means taking ownership over the healing,

what are the things that I can do? Stop listening to the doctor, start listening to your body. So I went and got an auroring because I was always tired. I was like, I need to monitor myself how I'm going to sleep. I got a continuous glucose monitor because I was like, I need to... The levels, yeah. So I was like, I need to know, I'll wait the time, I comment, it was dexcom actually at the time. I use levels now though. Oh, okay. It was like an old one. But I was like, I need to monitor how my blood levels are

because I don't know how my body is responding. I started taking a food diary. But this is what ownership freaking looks like and this was the part of the mind shift is that saying, Lisa, do you wanna be here again? No, how are you gonna take ownership? What are you gonna do? You're turning outwards, you're looking at other people.

You know you can't get back here. So all these things are just sat down and did. And I was like, I'm gonna now start taking a diary of all the foods and stuff that I've journaled. To the point where it was like woke up at 7 a.m. My orange ring says, I woke up in the middle of the night four times. My blood sugar level actually plummeted.

Oh, interesting. It plummeted when it said I woke up. But you know, sometimes you don't realize you wake up in the middle of the night, like have you got? Someted when it said, I woke up, but you know, sometimes you don't realize you wake up in the middle of the night. Like, have you got it? So I was like, oh, I wonder if I'm having these like blood sugar dives in the middle of the night. I'm not realizing I'm waking up. It's disturbing my sleep. And this is why I'm always tired. So I started to experiment with what foods I was eating, or what times I was eating them. I used to eat an hour before bed, and then I would go to bed

and so I started to I heard that when you go to sleep your body's digestion slowed down. So it's like, okay well Lisa, eating an hour and a half before bed, try two hours before bed, try three hours before bed and what I realized is in my documentation but if I ate three hours before bed, I woke up with a great stomach. If I went to bed two, if I ate two hours before bed, I woke up with a really fricking wrecked stomach. And so these things, with things I took ownership, I started to adopt, I started to change my behavior going back to the habit, I started to see what was working. Okay, eating three hours before bed, I am going to now officially claim that Lisa Biliou, the steak in the ground, is always going to eat three hours before bed.

How do I create this habit? That thing becomes the next step, right? So identifying the problem, making a commitment to yourself, putting that commitment down, and giving yourself grace that you're going to mess up. Give yourself grace that there are gonna be times that you may not get there. Yes, good idea, yes., but now it becomes my favorite movie

we wanna go back to. The 80s is a karate kid. I know. Wax on Wax off. You talk without your boss. I do. I miss him, I love him. I love it.

So it's like, wax on Wax off. Prepare, practice, practice, practice. And it's like, exactly, it's practice, practice, and keep on trying, everything in life is trial and error. You don't know what you don't know, and the only way to do that is to try. Yeah, right. And that's exactly what I did.

So it was like, okay, I had my first skill. I was like, all right, my first promise. Lisa, if you go to bed at nine o'clock every night, which meanwhile husband do, on the door, I have to now eat. Let's say, I say six, but my lost bite, because that's what I realized. Oh, Lisa, it's not starter six, because now it's not three hours anymore. So I had to work backwards going to a point about refine, right?

So it's like, oh, it's not six o'clock. I actually have to eat a 5.30. Oh, wait, Hang on a minute. I just realized if I eat a 5.30, but I eat a 5.30. Oh wait, hang on, I just realized if I eat a 5.30 but I eat a 5.30 while I'm working, I eat slower. And now actually I'm working, I feel a little stressed and I was actually upsetting my stomach. So even if I eat three hours before and I ask for it, my stomach, that doesn't help. Okay, let me try this.

Let me try eating, let me try sitting down at 5 p.m. Let me try switching my phone off and let me see how I filled them. Now, okay, oh my God, I feel great. I was like, this is it. This is the optimal thing. Five o'clock. Are you gonna move to a book or where time is?

Start eating dinner at five o'clock. That is my thing. That is what I do every day now. Well, in fact, I'm gonna, that's a lie. So now, how do I create the habit? Because I've assessed, this is the thing that I, that serves me. So, how now do I create the habit? Because I've assessed, this is the thing that serves me. So how now do I create the habit?

Cool, just tell yourself. Obviously that didn't work. Before I know it, it's like, shit, it's six o'clock. I haven't even freaking started cooking yet. Okay, great, I'm gonna do start early. I'm gonna set an alarm on my phone. Okay, set an alarm on my phone to go at five o'clock. Then I realize I kept snoozing it three times

so it takes me to five, 30 games. So now I refine my habit. I'm like, okay, with this didn't work. What am I going to do next time? Oh, okay, what if I put it in my calendar as well? So now, now my team know that this has been a time for Lisa. They can't call me. So it's this whole like refinement process.

Then it's also telling Tom, babe, if you see me eating after this time, I need your help. So asking the help people around you to help you with this, I literally ask my team, please try to, if you see that I'm talking to you at 6 p.m. Remind me, I need to eat. Look, I've realized there's no shame in that. I've realized that my north star going back to goals.

My goal is to eat and be done by 6 p.m. So how the hell am I gonna get there? What are the things I have to do to make sure that I eat? So that's how I then took ownership, created the habit, refined the habit, then stuck to the habit, and now, but then the last piece actually is, giving yourself the grace that if you fail. So sometimes, especially now with the book tour,

it's insane. So what I do is I, A, make sure I've got food ready for me, so that the second I. So sometimes, especially now with the book tour, it's insane. So what I do is, I A, make sure I've got food ready for me so that the second I need to eat, I can. And then B, I just go, okay, give myself the grace that is a different part of my life right now. I put my health first still, but if I'm still able to, and today let's say I have to eat six o'clock. Right. I've got the choice. I can either move my nighttime to 10 p.m. or I can say, okay, Lisa, it's up to you. You can stay up later. That's gonna call you to maybe be slightly tired or you can go to bed and risk your stomach hurting.

But the green uses, I know. I know. There's no like, oh, I can't believe why me. The ownership part of it, the whole part of this, right, is the fact that I was able to do the work, create the habits, see what works for me, and then refine it, and then use it as like my superpower. Yeah, and also then you're in control of exactly what the end result would be. And that's thank you. Sorry, if I don't mind just, no.

The control part is I felt so out of control when that happened to my gut. Right. And that was the thing. It was, I was ignoring the signs. I was ignoring the red flags. And you better freaking believe now, I'm taking them back over control

and be like, I've identified now what those flags are so that in future if I see one I have the power to actually recognize it and absolutely. So what is your nightly routine and by the way are you never eating dinner with Tom or is he eating? No we don't eat dinner together. What time is he eating? Oh yeah so we made an agreement as husband and wife and as business partners that Monday to Friday he can eat dinner by himself and I can eat my dinner by myself because we've got different habits. You want to know what time he-

Right, yeah, what time? 2pm. He eats, he's probably doing all the intermittent fasting and the fasting because he's also biohacking all the time, right? Yeah, he does it as well. So he has last meal that too. Yes, except Friday because I was like, babe, I just like sometimes just hanging with you Friday evening and watching a movie and having something.

And so he breaks his 2 p.m. fast for me, but then he just wakes up the next day. So because it's Friday, he wakes up on Saturday and eats later. So the 2 p.m. fat, wait, so if it's, everything is first meal or is last meal. So he's last meal is first meal or is last meal. So he's last means that meal is usually at 2pm, but then he wakes up the next morning and eats very early.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. And pushes the 2pm to eat me at 5pm, then he'll eat his next meal later. And so, okay, so get it, that's a nice one. No, no, no, it makes sense. So then on the weekends, what happens? You guys eat at 5? So no, the weekends are slightly different.

And also, I can't believe you have your phone off the entire weekend. Yes. So to your point of everything is, so how do I show up in front of the camera and not have unhealthy behavior with food? I want to make sure that I really answer that because that was such a powerful question

in all the habits that we're talking about, is that everything that we're saying with these habits, with adopting like, okay, there's things that I know about my body. So it's not about, I don't want to be obsessive anymore. And that's the thing. It's like, I don't want to be like, fuck, I'm not eating at 5 p.m. Which is why I, I know how to optimize myself. And when I mean that, like, I know how to show up. So I don't have an upset stomach. So I'm right. And I'm, I'm feeling strong. And now I can give myself the grace

that if days I wanna stay up late, I just know what's gonna happen the next day. At least you're not gonna be a sharp. Great, do I wanna be a sharp? No, okay, call go to bed later. Like it's not about being obsessive because I used to be obsessive about the timing of every, like, okay, okay.

In fact, the world of bodybuilding, I was definitely trapped there six meals a day. And I would be starving because I wasn't having fat and stuff. So it was even six meals a day, but I was starving. And if I was starving at one 54 PM, and I told myself I'd eat a 2 PM, I wouldn't eat until 2 PM.

I literally would be watching the clock and I would wait for the clock to turn. That's how that's obsessive I got. So now I want to make sure that I'm not turning a blind eye to my health. That doesn't compute. So I'm not saying, don't care. I was like, no, no, no, I care about how I shop. I care about my health. I care about my mindset. What are the things I need to understand about it? And now give yourself the grace to have a happy life and to do the things that serve you. And so on days where I just want to do either freaking cookie

if I want to, and I know I've accepted it's going to affect how I shot the next day, then do it. That's the point. It's not like, and that's been very deliberate on my part. No, but that's, that makes perfect sense to me. It really does. The weekend. Well, we're still on this, that we're going to get the weekend after, but I just couldn't

believe it. I looked down and I'm like, my God, I remember you told me that a long time ago, and I was like, is that, is she for real? Well, yeah, I guess you are for real. So then what is your nightly routine? What is your morning routine? So I've optimized these to, I said who I am Lisa Bilyu because I used to look at the outside world. Oh my God, you know, okay, I do this.

And well, if that person does it, right, Jen Komen does it, and I freaking admire her. And she's a freaking bad horse, then I must do it too. And if I do it and it doesn't sit well with me, I would keep doing it. That's why I used to be. Exactly. And it didn't sit well with me. I would keep doing it. That's why you used to be. A lot of people do that. Exactly.

And it didn't sound me. That's why I want to make sure that understanding is you have to do a lot of trial and error for you as an individual because what works for you doesn't necessarily work for this person or me. And it's not about, there's too much information out there. It's overwhelming. And then people just like copy what other people do. Yeah. And endot end detriment to themselves.

Exactly. So when I talk about my journey, when I talk about all the things I've learned, I try to then say, and what is this for you? Right. Right. Like the all-ruring, the glucose monitor, all of these things were literally just

that I could understand my body. That was it. Like, like, do I, like, at that point, I didn't even have an, like, a strategy. I was just like, that point, I didn't have a strategy. I just need to know what's going on. Exactly. Because this person is telling me to eat this, and I'm blindly freaking eating it. By the way, are you still eating raw vegetables?

So I don't eat raw vegetables as much anymore. I can stomach a bit of them, but just anything that's raw, it just is a little harder on my stomach. And so I just know, like, you know, I just have enough. Okay, so sorry. Nightly routine. So yes, so saying everything that I'm doing, everything I'm saying is I want people to really listen and then see what that version is.

So literally if someone's got a health issue right now, take away the judgment that you've got the health issue, that's going to be number one, get a pen and paper and ever know Apple or whatever you use and just start to just assess like right now even I would even say for a month but at least for a freaking week. All you're doing now is giving yourself the grace to do some self-assessment of where you are commonly. Then you say where you want to go. So if it's I want to do a YouTube show and I need to show up and I need to have energy. Okay, amazing. Now you've just said I need to have energy. Great. In your self-assessment, what you're looking for is how many hours sleep is optimal for you. What do you need to eat,

this optimal for you? That only comes with self-assessment. So the tactics I think that I'm, that I did is universal, right? It's like monitor how much you're sleeping, assess why monitor your diet, see what happens. I mean, to the point, I was actually, and I'm just gonna say this, because it was very empowering for me, in my assessment, when did I go to the restroom? Well, type of bowel movement was it,

and how did I feel the next day? Like those things as well, because I had so much digestive issues, it was like, I realized I wasn't like, I was going to the restroom every four days and then it would flip and I would go four in one day. So it was like, so but then to start, oh, you know what Lisa, when you eat beef, you become regular. You know what coconut oil, oh my God, when you have coconut oil for dinner, you actually wake up and you seem happier. Right, like just freaking identify those things.

You gotta be paying attention though. Which is why you need to write it down because you do not pay attention. No, you're right. Or also I think self-awareness, because even if you could be writing things down, but those things may not be occurring to you because you're not paying attention to being a teacher or a ghost thing. You can only mean. So that's what I find. But you're

like super dialed in. So then, does that mean you're in bed at 9 o'clock or you're sleeping at 9 o'clock? Yeah. So lights out. Nine o'clock. So, Mima has been again. We've been together about 22 years, about celebrating our 20 year anniversary. And so, we communicate on everything. So, writing this book, hey babe, this is what I'm going to be available for, this is what I'm not going to be available for, he says the same thing. And in our relationship, I'm the one that is the, what the designated relationship, danger of a flag wave or whatever, don't even know why, because I believe I noticed when we're slipping apart more, like we haven't

connected more than he does. And so he admits that too. So now what we do is I'm the one that's like, hey babe, we haven't really bonded over like, you know, it's been like six days or whatever, I really feel like that we need time together. And then we'll just reconnect. But Monday to Friday, we wake up, I kiss him good morning, and then we get on with our day, we have business meetings, we have one on one's, where it's all business, all the time. And then when we shoot together, we shoot together, but then we have to dinner because we eat different times. Again, I used to get upset if I'm going to be honest. It's maybe not even dinner with me anymore.

And so he's like, okay, what are we trying to do in life? And that's where we sit down and we go, okay, does it actually make sense for us to eat dinner? And it's like, oh no, actually, what I was just about to ask you actually would have had our mission so you forget I even said that. And when it's important to me, that's the thing. In our relationship, if I use the word important, I'd say, babe, if this is, it's important, we eat dinner

time, he would drop everything. So knowing that you've got that. The communication is so vital. And you guys have very, very strong communication. Yes. If you can teach that, because I think that's where people get really, really stuck. Yeah. That's that becomes a really bad, that's becomes the down. Yeah, 100%. Yeah. But because we're like so into like,

biohacking ourselves and because of my own health issues, he loves like trying to optimize his life as well. And so when you've got someone that geeks out over that stuff with you, so like our temperature when we go to bed, is it like our room is at 67 degrees because that's the optimal temperature that's based on the sleep.

He sleeps with tape over his mouth. Oh he does. He does, I don't. There's a part of like, I'm kind of worried like the claustrophobia. Yeah, that's, I know people do it and they think, they say it's like a game changer but it just seems a little weird to me.

Yeah. He's one, it's a game changer. So it's one of these things that I'm like, to ignore it would be to be dismissing something that I could be using as a tool to help me show up better the next day. So I recognize, and I've given myself grace, right now, especially as the book,

like if that ruins my sleep, I'm not going to be happy. So I've just told myself this actually may be better for you. But right now I'm actually not really to test it. So I've just told myself once the book is out, you, but right now I'm actually not with willing to test it So I've just told myself once the book is out then I'm gonna test it, which is fine But the rule of the house so yeah again, I always make sure I stop work at 8 p.m. Now. I'm saying that Okay With some caveats. So my I have a rule of lethally so shows up all the time and then sometimes it's just doable And I won't be myself up over it

But my rule is I need at least an hour to myself every night I would do in that hour Whatever I want pluck my eyebrows watch friends on rewans Literally just whatever you want whatever I want it's usually kind of just like hanging out like I don't I don't go on social media I try not to do any of that But it's usually just watching a crime show or something to be honest. Tom comes in, he's like, serial killer, documentary,

and he's like, how do you sleep at night? I know, every girl I'd take a moment. I think that's why those shows are like number one on every streaming network. And it's all the girls, the girls. They're watching it. Oh, my husband is like, this show gives me anxiety. It's so funny.

He's like, you've got a woman screaming and you've got like, and you're riveting. Yeah, I was, I'm like, hey, did you hear what happened? This guy, like the whole tabundi thing, I'm like, how many documentaries I watch on tabundi? I don't, I'm like fascinated by him.

Yeah, me too. Have you seen the staircase? Yeah, oh. You should watch it. Maybe, I can't remember. Is that Netflix? It is Netflix, yeah. I think I might have. Yeah, I just watched so many of them.

I know, it's like you get confused. Yeah. So did you go to bed at night then? So yeah, so we get to bed at, we go to bed at the same time. Okay. But so the hour for me, that was, go, I used to feel so guilty.

When we were working at Quest, there was no way. I mean, I stopped drawing, which is not my creative space. I would never give myself permission to hang out and watch TV on a weekday. Like, no way, that means you're not working hard. That means you're lazy. That's how I used to think. But now, because of everything that happened,

and I want to make sure that I still answer that earlier question, it's like the thing that I make sure that I do, like how I don't allow the body to smear if you are to penetrate my mind is I don't focus on it. I focus on these other things that make me feel good about myself. So I focus on getting my hour of self-care time at the end of the day where I get to watch my serial killer things, right?

Like I focus on those little things. And so, but even that, because of the book, right now, there are moments where I'm not getting to bed at night and I'm not able to have the hour to myself. And I've just given myself the grace to say, okay, Lisa, you're in this period right now, but I make a promise myself, I won't spill over because of my car. So, where is that fine line? And so now what I do is like, if I have to stay up late, I'll stay up later. But my gut, I will listen to. Right. So if my gut starts to hurt, if I start to get a stomach upset, if I'm not able to eat, like those are big, fricking signs, and I literally will stop everything and say, I'm not working

until I can get my health back on on because I know where that leads to. As a priority. And it's a non-negotiable. Exactly, which is why the nighttime practice is just as important as the morning, which is very interesting house. A lot of people focus on the morning routine. You get set up for that. The set up is always a good thing. Yes, yes. I know. I never really understood that too, because if your nighttime is off,

your morning is off, just naturally. So what is your morning then? What time do you wake up in the morning? Yeah, so I'd never set an alarm, so that's part of your nightly routine, because if you go to bed at a decent hour, you don't have to set an alarm. Now so many people were like,

how the hell do you do that? I'd never wake up in time. It's slow progress, right? It's like, I used to go to bed at one a.m. just to give people and then wake up in the night. So it becomes a incrementally go to bed earlier on days you don't have to sit in a alarm or just getting bed at 8 p.m. And it's like, if you have to lie there awake for an hour, then you lie there awake for an hour. Like, you're never going to get to where you want to go unless you start somewhere. So the night before is in bed, lights out, temperature is important. Oh, and the one more thing to add is, oh no, I do not share bed sheets. We have our own

duvet covers, separate duvet covers. No way. I like, I almost can't believe people don't do this. It makes perfect sense. I can't believe people shared brilliant blankets. Like, wait, okay, do you have your own, is your mattress one of those eights? No, no, no, no. I'm okay. Although he's saying that, he does have one of those cool, what they call it.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, I have one of those, I didn't love it. Yeah, he's got one on his side. I don't know, I don't remember, because I got cold every night with it, but I know they're very popular. So he has one of those on his side. Yes, so you don't share doveses. Yep, because that's so smart though different body temperatures Like my husband has is six fur and has testosterone

I'm five one and have a surgeon right like he's like I mean, look, obviously we both, I have distal to our own, it's more complicated than that. But the point being, that's amazing. But the point being is your body temperature is different. And then also, I love snuggling my blanket. And I'm selfish, in bed, like selfish, I'm like, that came out wrong. You were the keeper, the devil. Oh, that was an amazing way of saying that.

Oh my God, I want that as a gift. I'm selfish in bed. That'll be me. I'm going to give you. That's hilarious. So yeah, so we basically just have different body temperatures. Go to bed before 9 p.m. I don't set an alarm.

Tom gets up at like 3.30 in the morning. He doesn't set an alarm. That's just the time his body wakes up. I wake up at six. So just to give you an idea of how different even those are. So by the time I wake up, he's already done three hours of work or whatever. And he's actually doing it three, three, three in the morning.

Dude, he works 120 hours a week. Oh, you know what? We literally calculated that the other day. I was like, so what does he do at three, I gotta get him back on his path. He works. What is he doing?

So we're building out our web, three division of our company. I mean, he wants the business. What time does he work? He shows. Here's like three shows a week. Yeah, he works. Like he is a beast though. And here's the thing.

In fact, I know that we've got a guy, this is one of these very powerful moments though. It was hard for me to separate myself with his work ethic and my work ethic. Because here's the thing, to your point early, I was like, oh, work hours. But he makes me look like I'm lazy from. Amazing.

He makes anybody look like I'm lazy though. But now what I used to do is try to keep up. And I saw where that happened. That's a very good point. And so now I have my whole evolution over the last six years that we've been talking about, my gut issues, I've really worked. And it's been one step at a time.

You try to keep up with him? I used to keep up with him, yeah. So now I just say to him, I'm stopping work at 8 p.m. Please not come to me with work, things after that. And what do you work until 9 o'clock? Oh yeah, he has headphones, he brushes his teeth with his headphones because he's listened to either an interview or a podcast or a book. So he can learn, he literally brushes his teeth

and this was one of the rules that I had with my husband actually because he would go to bed, he would keep his headphones on, he would tape his mouth and then take his headphones off. And I'm like, you haven't said goodnight, you haven't said that I love you and you won't even hear it. Why say I love you? Could you go your blood, the headset on? So, but here's the thing, I love my husband. He wants to optimize his hours. I'm not going to hold him against that until it starts to become a problem in my relationship. And that's when I'm said to him, you take your head front please, babe, I would love it. If at 8.58 you took off your headset,

you gave me a kiss on the lips, you told me you loved me, I told you I love you and then you do your type in a whatever. And he's like, of course. So you know what, we just like, we just discuss what the problems are. I'm going to ask the communication again, and your acceptance and you understand,

you want him to be the best version of himself because he does, Advice versa. That's what makes it work. And the other day actually, it was probably a few months ago, as I was gearing up for like the book and all of this, he said something to me and he was like, well, you just have to do this. Like, that's why you're not succeeding. And he was like, you just need to do this.

And I said to him, but I'm not willing to do that. And he looked at me and he was like, one of the first, like, and he was like, what do you mean? And I said, what you just suggested, like one of the first, like, and it was like, what do you mean? And I said, what you just suggested, thank you for your advice, babe, because you're right. Like, in order to see it over here, that is what I need to do. But I've actually decided I'm not willing to,

because of that, I've recognized it's going to spill me over into my being detrimental to my health. And so, but what I went into, and I was like, so please don't make me feel guilty. And as I said that out loud, I was like, hang on, I literally, in real time, I was like, so please don't make me for guilty. And I was like, oh, hang on a minute. I was like, sorry babe, my guilt has nothing to do with you. Actually, it's got to do with me. And I was like, thank you for giving me your advice. And I've heard you and I've decided not

to, because I was telling him not to say it. Yeah. Because it in him saying I was feeling guilty, but now I'm putting my emotional reaction on him. Right. But as my partner, we've made a promise to each other, to tell each other when you're acting, when you're not acting in accordance with the goal that you said you won and the person you said you want, you want to be.

So he highlighted it, I paused and I took on that myself and I said, this is for me to process and this isn't my guilt. It's nothing to do with him. Right. And keeping people at a high standard, though, by calling them on their, on their shit or accept or understanding when like, I think that's such a great, this should be like a relationship. You guys, I mean, I know you guys do this anyway, but there's a lot of like life lessons and all of this stuff that you talk about with him and your relationship. But then you wake up at what time then? Six o'clock. So yeah, so I wake up around six o'clock. He's the one, and then I, first thing I do is

I kiss him good morning. Nothing happens until I kiss my baby on the lips good morning and I give my little baby girl, my little fluffy girl, a kiss on, but her son's I kiss my baby on the lips good morning and I give my little baby girl, my little fluffy girl, a kiss on the lips. It's gonna take you from the lips. She kisses me on the lips with a cuteness. And then I make my coffee and this is one of our relationship things is know your partner's language. My partner's language from my husband

or from other people from Tom is acts of service. And me really, him showing me that he's taking time out of his day to do something for me. Usually it's spending time with me, but from Monday to five day, he can't. So, or we don't. So, what he does every day is he boils my kettle for me. Every day without fail. And so, I wake up at six in the morning, I go downstairs, I give him a kiss, my kettle is all nice and hot, I have a cup of tea, I thank him because I feel considered, I feel thought of because he's brought bored my kettle. That's literally all I need. Like I have literally felt the love in my heart because he's done that.

I take my headset, I take my coffee, I go down to the gym, I do an hour in the gym, I usually do around 30 minutes to 45 minutes on like weights. I never step full on the treadmill ever. To all weight cell. Yeah, all for like years and years and years. I can see that. I can see why for sure. And I literally just say, what muscle do I fancy working today? What did I lift last time? I'm going to see if I can bench press this much today. And I'm like, oh shit, I didn't do that. And like the other day I was like, I'm gonna do a little push up challenge. I'm telling you, sorry. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

And that literally was like, I just wanna have fun today and the weight on doing it for me. And so I just gave myself like, instead of getting back into the habit of, but you said you were gonna do weight, so no, no, because every time I go to the gym now, I don't think about how much weight am I gonna lose,

how much am I gonna run on the treadmill. I just say, what is the fun I can have today in here? And so sometimes it's lifting very heavy. Sometimes it's like standing on the balance ball and just trying to balance yourself for five minutes. Like, I just, that's how I've shifted my mind so that I don't slip into the bad habits. I'm like, if someone called me fat now, let's just say they did.

But it would be, but here's the point, right? It's important to know I cannot let external people, opinions, thoughts, impact what I do and how I think of myself. And so that's why I go into the gym and say, what's the fun I'm going to have now? And then fricking music, girl, I was singing at the top of my lungs to the point where Wookie started barking, like recently where, like she could hear me all the way upstairs and I was all the way in the gym

and I was singing because singing is so one, like it just makes me happy. And so I totally, I totally understand that. And so that's part of my morning routine because I've moved my body, I've strengthened my mind, not, and then my body, the mind, part first. And I've got my body to move, I've listened to music, I've got to sing out loud, there's something

about the energy of singing out loud. Like, you said, I'm a survivor by Destiny's Child. I love that. Get those freaking lyrics in front of you and sing them to your heart out. Exactly, or find a song that you like. Yes. One thing we did, well, and this is also,

you can release this book and find out more, but you talk a lot about boundaries in your book because that's how you also can achieve, like to make sure that you're non-negotiables or being met and how you can prioritize certain things because when you let out-style, like you were saying, external forces, kind of penetrate where then you can't actually achieve your goals and becomes that that becomes a downfall.

Yeah. But you talk, I mean, this is the point forever. I'm so sorry. No, go. You're like, I love nothing, I'm sorry. I'm sorry. This is like hours on. Oh, and in fact, so you need to reread one of the chapters,

go that talks about stop stop saying I'm sorry. I know. I'm always saying I'm sorry. The one of the issues that you need very polite. I was, I was gonna say there's a whole chapter on, don't say I'm sorry. But, but always say you're sorry. Yay.

I think I find so, oh, there's a lot of things, but I'm always saying I'm sorry because I know, I have to pick up my kid and you have to pick up, so are you trying to go so I just want to add one thing to the boundary thing that was so strong I just want to make sure that that take away my stitches very strong is that the boundaries to my health Was imperative for me to put in and to your point I now shut the phone off on the weekends

I literally shut my phone and send people calm but the point being is No one will fight for your self-care your mindset, then you know, find more than you will. And they'll find ways to like be like, it's a stupid way. It's not like it's on the deal. Yes. So right now, I want people to even just say, even if it's 30 minutes, make a commitment yourself that for 30 minutes, you're going to do something that makes your heart sing. I don't care what it is, I draw. So that's why I switch off on the weekends.

I have my pace of paper, I have my pencil, and I just draw. Now of course, when I first started switching my phone off, everyone had connieptions, girl. Connieptions, you can't switch your phone off, and I just, I stuck them because I was like, this is what I need for my body and my health. Yeah, and saying, fam, what ends up happening is, it's so funny people do this, first they'll push back,

then they'll accept it and then they'll praise you for it. And then they'll be inspired by it. Say that again, I think that's exactly what happens. They first push back. Yeah, they first push back, then they'll accept it, then they'll maybe praise you for it and then they'll be inspired by it. Or the other way, they'll be inspired and then praise you.

But that was exactly what happened. Everyone said, there's no way you can switch your phone off. What if I need you? I just said, well, let's go through the scenarios. What would you actually need me for? Okay, well, what if someone dies in your family? You immediately ping Tom, of course. Well, what if it's someone in your business?

Well, people have Tom's phone number, so if it's an emergency and with him. But what if it's someone that something happens? Well, people have tons of phone numbers. If it's an emergency, I'm with him. But what if it's someone that something happens? Well, if they don't know someone that knows Tom, then I'm sorry, you're not close enough to me to warrant myself disturbing myself care time. So I stuck to my guns. It wasn't easy. And that's the thing because you have no idea how freaking petrified I was to stick to my

gun, but I knew why I was doing it. I had my why. So I kept sticking to it. Eventually, now, you know what people say, well, at least I'm not gonna bother you on the weekend, because your phone's not gonna be on and it's your self-care time. Now, other people are starting to do that for themselves.

So again, it doesn't have to be a long time, but you have to make the commitment, you have to stick to it, you have to know, and you have to just know no one's going to fight for it more than you. So if you don't fight for it, you can't expect other people to respect that boundary. I love that. Okay, where do they find you?

Because we're going to get out of here. Yes. Thank you. I freaking love you, honey. I love you too. Thank you so much. I really do. This was great.

First tell about the top. I thought I'd tell you. I love you fast. Come on now. That's more important. Go to radicalconfidence.com. There's a whole bunch of like freebies, bonuses, like some really that's more important. Go to radicalconfidence.com. There's a whole bunch of freebies bonuses, like some really good stuff over there.

So if you go to radicalconfidence.com to get that, if you pre-order the book or buy it in the first week. And then Lisa Bellew, at on Instagram, on Twitter. And we're going to have impact on YouTube. I love it. Come on, girl, you got it. I love this. OK, girl. I love this. Okay, bye. Excucess we in heaven that the habits and hustle podcasts power by happiness

Hope you enjoyed this episode. I'm Heather Monahan host of Creating Confidence, a part of the Yap Media Network The number one business and self-improvement podcast network. Okay, so I want to tell you a little bit about my show We are all about elevating your confidence to its highest level ever and taking your business right there with you. Don't believe me? I'm going to go ahead and share some of the reviews of the show so you can believe my listeners. I have been a longtime fan of Heather's, no matter what phase of life I find myself in, Heather seems to always have the perfect gems of wisdom that not only inspire, but motivate me into action. Her experience and personality are unmatched and I love her go getter attitude. This show has become a staple in my life. I recommend it to anyone looking to elevate their confidence and reach that next level. Thank you! I recently

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