Habits and Hustle - Episode 181: Ed Mylett – Global Entrepreneur, Best Selling Author, Top Podcast Host, and TV Host

Episode Date: August 23, 2022

Pre-order Jen’s New Book: Bigger, Better, Bolder today: https://amzn.to/3hvtqYp Ed Mylett is a global entrepreneur, best-selling author, top podcast host, and TV host. Recalling a story at 5 years... old of distracting his drunk father from the rest of his family and later revealing the catalyst of his “one more” mantra as his father getting sober one day at a time, Mylett is grounded in his determination and motivation in principled, practical, and relatable ways. The content of this episode may have some variations of what you’ve heard before, but Mylett stands out with his strict time management and earnest scheduling practices. Lamenting long meetings and describing how he almost never schedules more than 22 minutes for one, or how he splits his days into “days” approaching certain hours entirely different than the others. It’s really cerebral stuff, and incredibly fascinating to hear him explain. He says it himself, he’s proven his methods time and time again with some of the most successful people on the planet. Maybe this episode has a taste of what you’ve been needing to hear too. Youtube Link to This Episode Ed Mylett’s Website – https://www.edmylett.com/ Ed Mylett’s Instagram – https://www.instagram.com/edmylett ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐ Did you learn something from tuning in today? Please pay it forward and write us a 5-star review on Apple Podcasts. 📧If you have feedback for the show, please email habitsandhustlepod@gmail.com  📙Get yourself a copy of Jennifer Cohen’s newest book from Habit Nest, Badass Body Goals Journal. ℹ️Habits & Hustle Website 📚Habit Nest Website 📱Follow Jennifer – Instagram – Facebook – Twitter – Jennifer’s Website Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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Starting point is 00:02:28 until August 30th, 2022. So definitely run, don't walk and scoop some up now. I got this Tony Robbins you're listening to Habitson Hustle. Pressure. Today on Happens and Hustle, we have the one and only Ed Mylett. Ed is one of the fastest growing business personalities on social media today. He is an American entrepreneur and a peak performance expert. And his newest book is called The Power of One More. And it is fantastic. If you're somebody who wants to up your game, he is not only the guy for you, but this book is a must read. I had an amazing conversation with Ed. He is just as lovable and kind and nice as I heard he was,
Starting point is 00:03:20 and that was really nice to see. And he gave us a lot of great little nuggets of gold, I guess, to really kind of help integrate into our lives, to really be the best versions of ourselves. And obviously he also has a podcast. He also has a new show actually called, I think it's on a network called Nozy, Nozy. And I hope you enjoy this episode because it's a good one.
Starting point is 00:03:48 I really think you're gonna enjoy it. And it is called Nozy, by the way. So check it out. First of all, I wanted to know how you even kind of evolved and morphed into the whole personal development, self-esteem, kind of self-help area from having that background. And also part of that area from having that background. And also part of that question is,
Starting point is 00:04:07 having that success, what was that one skill that you really honed to be able to even have that success initially? Absolutely. Yeah, they're connected actually. So the personal development stuff happened just to become a functioning person. I grew up, as you know, I grew up the son of an alcoholic
Starting point is 00:04:23 and I was small when I was little, bullied a lot in school. I had no self-esteem whatsoever, none. And so for me getting into personal development and learning how to build self-coms, I had to do it just to become a baseline functioning human, period. And once that happened, it sort of became an addiction.
Starting point is 00:04:41 You know, like, wow, now I'm not, I don't completely think I'm terrible. I think I'm somewhat terrible. Then I'm average. Then, and it grew to where like, well, this stuff works. So that was the first reason I did it. And I'd be like most things,
Starting point is 00:04:54 I have an obsessive, I haven't been a son of an alcoholic. I have that same addictive personality, frankly. I just pointed it towards healthy things. And so the same gift was given to me with my dad's alcoholism. When I was a little boy, like five years old, I had three little sisters and a mom, and I had to know who was coming through the front door at five.
Starting point is 00:05:14 So as a little boy, I would get to the front door, hear my dad's car pull up, and I had to know if it was drunk or sober, dad. And so I could learn to be present and read people, like you could not believe it, five, because if he came through the door, I would be reading his eyes, his hair. How was he walking? How was he? He actually got to the point where I could tell by the sound the key made in the front door,
Starting point is 00:05:34 whether he was drunk or not. And if he was drunk, and I'm talking five years old, I'd say, Mama, go take a shower and Mimi, get the other sisters upstairs and I'll be down here with him. And my dad ended up getting sober. It's a redemptive story, but I learned to be present and read people as a little boy. And then the second thing I learned how to do was communicate. I could talk him out of that state. Daddy, you know, I grab his hand. I got a 93 on my spelling test. You know, I hit a home running baseball that you did really. Oh, I was you're, well, not bad. And I could get him away from the liquor cabinet. You tell him out as a five, well, not best bet. And I could get them away from the liquor cabinet.
Starting point is 00:06:05 You tell them out as a five year old little boy. Wow. And so I say all the time that on the other side of temporary pain, you meet your other self. If you can survive the temporary, the pain you're going through, whether that's a relationship or finances or just not feeling great away.
Starting point is 00:06:18 If you can survive the temporary, because everything's temporary, you can survive it. You'll get introduced to your other self. And for me, the pain as a child, I got introduced to these two skills I've used to make hundreds of millions of dollars, which is I am not great at a lot of things, but I am good at being present with people
Starting point is 00:06:33 and reading them and them sensing that. And then I'm also a pretty good communicator. And both of those were born out of the same exact thing, which is also what caused me to get into personal development ironically. Right, well, could you have the skill where it's like you are such a great communicator and what you say, the way you communicate to people that from what I've seen and know about you and for what I actually listen to, is that you're so good at not just giving motivation, but you're inspiring
Starting point is 00:07:01 people to take action and execute, which is the hardest part, right? People can be inspired and watch a quick clip of somebody and then they're all ra, ra, ra, ra, and then like, whatever, like a day or two later, they're not doing anything about it. It wears off, like my favorite book before I wrote my book is Think and Grow Rich. Oh, I love that book.
Starting point is 00:07:22 I know you talk about it in your book. In the power of my book. You talk all about it in the power of one more. Yeah. Oh, you put my book up. Thank you. So I, of course, of course, you're on my podcast. Thank you.
Starting point is 00:07:34 Thank you. I love this book, but you don't just think and do anything. You have to think and do things. And so it's just a flaw of concept. The fact of the matter is there's things you have to do. So the question becomes, what do I need to think, and what do I need to do in congruency when I lock those two things together
Starting point is 00:07:49 that produce results? And so that's sort of how I teach everything I do. It's what do you need to think? And I try to take super complicated concepts and distill them down to actionable things you can do that you don't even need to understand why it works. So I don't have the need when I walk in a room to be the smartest person in the room.
Starting point is 00:08:04 I want to be the most effective person in the room. So I'll take things like the second chapter of the book as you know is about the reticular reticular activating system in your brain, which is in your prefrontal cortex. I could get all neuro on you but the bottom line is it's your filter that reveals the world to you and to the extent that you can program that to see the things that you want to see is to the extent that you're going to be successful. Perfect example really quick is I just a perfect example of your RAS at work is I've been impressed with Musk lately, like a lawn musk, like just this dude's making moves. I don't know whether he really... Like lately? I mean he's been like...
Starting point is 00:08:37 Well no, well lately because I'm 51 right? But also because like then what he was doing with Twitter, I don't know that he ever really was going to buy Twitter. He wasn't going to buy it. He's going to buy it. I don't it. He's so weird, right? Like he's just fucking around with these people Right, he stirred the whole world up Right now He's about their bots and we know about what his scam it is and you know like Oh, it's okay. I suppose it but the point is I'm like I told my team. I said you know
Starting point is 00:08:57 I'm gonna get me a Tesla so I get this Tesla. I didn't really want one But I got one and I drive it everywhere now And now every freaking where I go, I see Teslas. Drives my wife and I'm like, hey, red Tesla, white Tesla, three lanes over, other side of the freeway, I'm like, black Tesla, she's like, what the hell is wrong with you? They were always there, but I didn't see them before because they weren't important to me.
Starting point is 00:09:21 Now they're part of my RIS, I see them freaking everywhere. That's so true, the matrix. You talk all about this and it is the matrix, you know, the red pill, the blue pill, but it's 100% true. And it's how your life works. So the hook is, can the testless become your prospects? Can the testless become your goals, your ambitions,
Starting point is 00:09:41 the emotions you want? Can you begin to see, they're always there. You're a bl- What I don't see right now, our Mercedes, I don't see Toyotas because they're not important to me, right? So we see what matters most to us. And so if you can program the right things
Starting point is 00:09:55 to matter to, your RAS will see here and feel things that were always in your circle that you're missing because they're not part of your RAS. That's what separates successful and unsuccessful people is what they can not part of your RAS. That's what separates successful and unsuccessful people is what they can see, feel, and hear. So what's the first step to that? Because I did it.
Starting point is 00:10:11 Isn't it first like you're saying like the self-confidence but you took your background and with your fathers been such an obvious, prevalent piece of your whole entire existence. But you made it as fuel to be successful and you learned your behavior patterns from something terrible and made it work for you, become very resourceful. Like the key. Was it the fact, by the way, was it that when he was opening up the door, if it took longer
Starting point is 00:10:37 than it should, did you know about how you knew who was right? Right. So if the key one real smooth, he was sober. If the key struggled to get in the locker, it took him a minute to open it up. I knew who was coming through that door. Right. That's amazing. Yeah. And now, and now I know with human beings within about five minutes, I think I'm pretty good, not always, but I'm pretty good at knowing what they need. You know, one thing about energy is you're always making people feel something. The reason your show is so successful
Starting point is 00:11:03 is that you, maybe it's unconscious, but I've watched you enough in preparing for this. You really make people feel certain things, particularly your guests. Your guests get very comfortable. They feel honored by you. Your preparation level gives them a level of respect. And so most people are unaware. You're always making people feel something. That's so nice of you. Did you really watch my show? Yeah, I have several of them. Yeah, I did. And I'm going to tell you, your preparation level to me
Starting point is 00:11:32 is the highest sign of respect for somebody. Thank you. I appreciate that. You know this, you've done shows. I've done shows. Did you even look at my book? Do you know? Totally.
Starting point is 00:11:41 You know what I'm like, why are you doing this? If you're going to do something, be great at it. But my bigger point is, you're always making people feel something. So why not be intentional about what they're feeling? Like most people are just oblivious. Every room, a server and a restaurant, everyone you interact with, you're making them feel something.
Starting point is 00:11:58 Do they feel seen? Do they feel valued? Do they feel respected? Do they feel attractive? Whatever it might be? Or do they feel invisible, offended, slided, you know, scared, right? And so I'm just really intentional about how I make people feel and what my energy is. I'm really conscious of it.
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Starting point is 00:12:58 Shop now in store or online. Croger, fresh for everyone. Stand playing the best! Get a little over it! Do you think people can learn that skill, or is it something that either they have to have had an experience where it kind of brings it out on them to be able to do that, or it's a need in them? Because not everybody has that ability to do that. It's very difficult. I think some people are born with a natural intuition, no two.
Starting point is 00:13:33 No two. You know, there are, I think women have it more naturally than men. I mean, I don't know. Nothing's gender specific, but I just think in general, women are more in tune with people's feelings and emotions than maybe men are, and that might be nature, or maybe nurture versus nature, I don't know. But I do think it can be learned because I teach it,
Starting point is 00:13:55 and I learned it, and I've had a lot of people teach it, but you're exactly right ahead dinner, I won't say with who, but a very, very well known person who, we both wanted to get to know each other, and that person was in town this last week. And we've of been who was it come on tell us it's it because it's not a compliment but I can say that I was just blown away by their they were completely oblivious to how
Starting point is 00:14:17 they made people around them feel and probably they become so successful that they lost the the concern about it. Because other people are always giving the men and really one of these things, I was like, I was like an hour into the dinner which ended up being a four hour dinner and it could be candid with you. I wish I wanted to leave about an hour into it.
Starting point is 00:14:35 I was just like, this is not what I want to be doing right now. And it's not that they weren't interesting because they were super interesting. I just don't think they made everyone around them and where we were feel what those people were worthy of feeling. Interesting. And at the end of the day,
Starting point is 00:14:48 that's what people crave the most, right? Like they wanna be seen and they wanna be heard and they wanna also feel, it's all about the energy. But you, I think that is your secret sauce, though, for your success, in my opinion, like you're able to pick up on that energy and like what someone needs and give it to them in a way that they can understand and it resonates with them.
Starting point is 00:15:11 Yeah, I think that's pretty one of them. I mean, there's other things that make people successful. I'm an incredibly competitive person, really, really driven. I'm addicted to growing. I have this really deep belief humans can change because I watch my kids do it with my dad. When you watch the first 15 years of my life, alcoholic didn't live well, all the things that come with being an alcoholic as a husband and a father, I'm sure came with those things with my dad.
Starting point is 00:15:34 And to watch a human change in the next 35 years with just really one decision that my dad made, that's why it's the power of one more. I love that reason. He's helped people that talk about the, because I think that is so impactful. The reason why the book is called The Power of One More. But your dad. Well, my dad had been drinking four years, and it tried to get sober before, and we're driving to,
Starting point is 00:15:56 I'm about to turn 15. And by the way, it's a really funny story, because my dad got sober on 420. Only my dad would get sober on 420, right? You don't know what that means, Google it, right? But we're driving through a baseball game of mine. I see my dad cry before, ever. I see my dad in a bunch of fights,
Starting point is 00:16:13 but I never see him cry. And my dad's crying driving. And he won't look at me. And I'm like, what is going on with Daddy? And so he finally pulls over and he still isn't looking at me. And he's looking for and he goes, Eddie. And then he finally looks at me and makes eye contact. He goes, I'm gonna try to quit drinking.
Starting point is 00:16:26 I'll never forget this one more time. And I said, Dad, we'll be any different this time. Now we're both crying. And he said, well, I'm gonna lose you and your sister's in your mom. Your mom's taking my family. And you deserve a husband. Your mom deserves a husband.
Starting point is 00:16:41 She can respect your sister's, deserve a dad. You can be proud of, the so do you. And he says to me. I'm gonna give it one more try And there's a chapter in the book called one more try because I've done that in business thousands of times of almost quit a million times I just I used to say I just want quit for one more day and I don't make decisions. I'm never gonna quit. That's a lie, right? By the way, and the decision's so big you won't make it But if you're really on your backs up against the wall and a relationship or a business, sometimes it's like, I just not going to quit for today. I'm just not going to quit for today.
Starting point is 00:17:10 And then when my dad came back from being sober, I said, Daddy, are you never going to drink again? And he goes, I can't promise you that. I'm just not going to drink for one more day at a time. And he stacked that up over 35 years and helped thousands of other people get sober and helped one more person. So the principle of the book is that you're one decision, one relationship, one meeting, one emotion, one podcast, one book away from potentially changing your life. You've already proven that. If you're happily married, that one decision changed your life, the birth of your children, if you have children, that changed your life.
Starting point is 00:17:38 So we're true. And then the other part of the one more, there's another dual meaning, which is that in order to build self-confidence, what I learned was I had to learn to keep the promises I made to myself because self confidence is a relationship or reputation with one's self. And so I started stacking up little things like I'm going to drink a gallon of water every day, which I'm holding a half a gallon right now. I'm going to get up at certain time. I'm going to I started stacking these small promises and then I could point my mind at the big ones because I had a relationship and reputation with myself that I do what I say I'm gonna do. Then when I got there, I figured out, well that's baseline. What's the difference between winning and losing?
Starting point is 00:18:14 What's the difference between success and failure? Happiness and sadness. And it's so small, it's like scary to think about. It's scary to talk about the difference. You all know this, like some of you that are winning and you're like, man, it's like scary to think about, it's scary to talk about the difference. You all know this, like some of you that are winning, like man, it was so small. And I'm like, what's it? What is the small?
Starting point is 00:18:31 And I figured it out, it's one more. If I say I'm gonna get up and make 10 contacts a day in my business, if I keep those promises, I build self-confidence. If I do one more over time, I become superhuman. If I'm gonna do 10 reps on the bench at the gym, if I do that, I build confidence, I build a good body. If I do 10, but I always do one more.
Starting point is 00:18:51 If I do 45 on the treadmill, plus one more minute, always. If I tell my daughter I love her every day, plus one more time, the difference is one more. It's so small, it's stupid, it's scary to think about. But I'm proof in my life that both these one mores matter. And I'm right about it. I know I'm right about it. I prove it. I cook some of the top people in the world. I am in some industries, the top person in the world. And it's not because I'm gifted.
Starting point is 00:19:15 It's not because I come from an amazing family with great genetics or pedigree. It's because of one mores. I love that. It's so true. I always do one more rep at the gym. And I always like, if I'm running, I always do. If I stay 45 minutes, I'll go to 46. I love it. It's just all the time. That's like my whole, but that's one of my entire philosophies and life.
Starting point is 00:19:35 And you know what? You've got to look at my Instagram today because I did a whole thing about promises to yourself. And you just literally said exactly what I posted today. I will. Which is, yeah, which is really funny. what I posted today. I will. Yeah, which is really funny. And I think it's so true.
Starting point is 00:19:48 Can you give us an example of something in business that one more, like maybe recently that you, because you didn't give up and you gave one more try. Okay, what is it? I'll give it to you as a guy that I just played golf with because it's not me, but I've got a bunch of my own. But I think this one's even, this one's like magnified, like you can't even believe. So, I belong to this club. There's only 150 members.
Starting point is 00:20:12 And everyone, you know, everyone from Tom Brady, the Ellen DeGeneres, Adele, the Kardashians, Chris Jenner, John L. Wei, you name it. They're all members there. And it's a really unique place. And Tim Cook who runs Apple, Phil Knighter runs Nike, it's a really unique place. And Tim Cook who runs Apple, Phil Knighter runs Nike, it's crazy. And what's the called? I don't know if I can say the Madison Club,
Starting point is 00:20:31 it's in Likinque, to California. Oh, okay, the Madison Club. It's a Madison Club. So I get asked to play golf with this guy for like a month and I don't really wanna do it because I know he's kind of a fan and I'm like, I don't wanna spend five hours talking about me, I already know about me. So I get to the first tea. I meet the guy
Starting point is 00:20:47 and he's like, oh, I'm at my lead. I can't even pick your brain for five hours as a brother. That ain't how I roll. I already know everything I know and I know my stuff. I want to know about you. And that's what I mean by one of my skills. I want to be present. I want to know how you ended up here because he's got a similar network to me and and he goes, well, I could tell you it on the first T-Box. We don't even need to play. I said, well, give me the story. He goes, 1986, I loaned a guy 50,000 bucks. I made the decision. One decision, one loan, 50,000 bucks.
Starting point is 00:21:11 I got some equity. My best friend did the same loan. A week later, my best friend gets cold feet, asks for the money back. The guy gives him the money back. I go, no, I'll keep it. I'll take my equity. The 50 grand turned into $750 million.
Starting point is 00:21:25 He goes, that one one decision that one event that one financial transaction changed my life I go that's the power of one more. I said who'd you loan this money to? He says Jeff Bezos I said you got to be crazy. Me. So that's the ultimate one more. It's not mine But I was just told it not that long ago That's a really good one. That's a really good one. That's a really good one. That's extreme, right?
Starting point is 00:21:48 That's extreme. But I've had a bunch of those one more. It's not to that extent. I've more than stacked up one more in my life. That's that's amazing story, though. When is it then, is there ever a time then when you've given it one more, one more, one more, one more? And it's time to say, you know what, this isn't working, let's move on to something else.
Starting point is 00:22:08 At what point do you decide to do that then? That's more art than science, right? That's the not a formula for it. But the answer is yes. But most of the time for me, it's not completely pulling the plug. I'm trying to think of a time where I pulled the plug. Yeah, there's been some business deals where I've just pulled the plug on doing them, but for me more, it's usually I've gathered more information.
Starting point is 00:22:27 I need to pivot and adjust. Yeah. So it's more like a, it's still moving vertically, but I'm going to make an adjustment. And for me, yeah, there's a lot of those. And by the way, I consider those healthy one more. Like, I, right now, we may be entering a recession. In fact, I think we probably are, you know, I'm not a financial expert, but my friends that are tell me we're probably being in. Is that going to make me pivot and adjust
Starting point is 00:22:47 in some of my businesses? You know, absolutely. It blows my mind. How, listen, I say in the book, there's two types of people. This is for happiness and success. 99% of the population. I just said this to Mel Robbins. She's like, this just changed my whole life. So this may sound as simple, but it's not 99% of the population operates out of history and memory. That's their frame of reference in their life, right? 1% operate out of imagination and vision. And so you're talking 99 and one. And so most people, they get to a certain point in their life
Starting point is 00:23:17 and it's early where they just start operating out of history and memory. This could be emotions. It's the same emotions. I talk about this in the book. You know, we want more emotion away. They just operate at these same patterns, same history, same memory all the time. One percent don't. They operate out of vision and imagination. When you're a kid, you're happier. Why? Because you don't have a history in a memory. You're
Starting point is 00:23:38 out of imagination. At some point, it can be early. It can even be 10, 12, 15 years old. You start operating out of that. So in business, I'm always reminding myself, I'm operating in a vision and imagination, not history and memory, because history and memory will cause you to stay in a business way too long, stay in a deal, stay in a relationship way too long, stay in anything. And so I'm always in the vision, imagination mode, rarely in my and history. And this is an important thing about associations. Everyone always talks about, well, you've got to be around the right people.
Starting point is 00:24:09 You're the life's the sum of the five people. I mean, like, who has not said this? But how do you know if they're right? Well, if they're toxic, they're bad. That's pretty basic. Yeah, duh. But here's one way to know. This is something I don't think has ever been said before,
Starting point is 00:24:22 till I wrote the book. I listen to the people that I'm around. And if most of the people you're around, most of the time are going, remember when, you remember that party, remember that thing, remember that deal, remember, you remember, come on, you remember, right? That's what most friends do when they get together, right? You are surrounding yourself with history and memory people. And you're going to keep operating in that space. I can tell you, most of the people I mentioned earlier that I named off, okay, they have the best
Starting point is 00:24:50 histories of all time and you can barely get them to talk about it. Because when you're around them, it's like, what do you got going right now? Where are you heading? They don't want to talk about some touchdown they threw six years ago, or their old TV show, or some business they used to run. They're talking about, hey, there's what I got going right now. This is what it's gonna look like in the future. And these are the people with the best histories and memories. You almost have to force them, including me, to talk about history and memory.
Starting point is 00:25:17 So that's why they're powerful associations, because they're projecting into the future and being present as opposed to being in the past. Most of your friends are all about, you remember them when we went to the beach? Remember that concert, you remember, you remember that thing, remember Dave, you remember this.
Starting point is 00:25:31 So it's like, man, like, okay, we already did all that. But the people you're around keep forcing history and memory on you is supposed to imagine, when's the last time you and your friends are like, hey, what are you on right now, man? What are you working on? Where are you going?
Starting point is 00:25:44 How's it gonna feel? What's it gonna look like? What are you working on? Where are you going? How's it going to feel? What's it going to look like? What are you excited about? That's pretty rare in most friends, and that's when they're the good ones. DQ presents, picture this. You're getting together with all your best friends. Now picture all your best friends
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Starting point is 00:26:21 That's such a true point people do live in the past so much, which then disrupts them from living either in the present or in the future, right? Like that is most people. Yes. We move towards what we're most familiar with. Always. If we're familiar with certain thoughts, we move towards them. Certain emotions, we move towards them. Certain memories, we move towards them. Familiar is a safe spot, right? The unknown, even though we all know, that's get out of your comfort zone, drop all that stuff. This stuff is so cheesy. Okay, here's is a safe spot, right? The unknown, even though we all know this, get out of your comfort zone, drop all that stuff. This stuff is so cheesy, okay?
Starting point is 00:26:48 Here's the bottom line. You gravitate towards what's familiar, and if what's familiar in your mind are emotions that don't serve you, are memories. Instead of what's familiar in your mind, are is your vision, is your, you have to have, listen. Most people, I don't know, talk of this enough, they don't want a jet. Okay, I've had five of them,
Starting point is 00:27:09 and you would like to have one, trust me. But you don't want a jet, you want how you think it'll make you feel. You don't want millions of dollars, you want how you think it'll make you feel. You don't want to be fit and shredded and look great and have great energy. You want how that'll make you feel, the relationship, you want how it'll make you feel.
Starting point is 00:27:28 But we're in a culture starting about a hundred years ago with all these books. It said set goals for stuff. I have a whole chapter on goal setting. But even if you're great at it, you'll get 25% of your goals. But you're always going to get your standards. Long term, you're going to get your standard. Your standard is the one. I'm so glad you said that. Can we talk about the difference between a goal
Starting point is 00:27:48 and a standard? Because that is so true and important. That's a big one. Your goal, your goal is a physical thing you want. To wrap up the part about the emotional part, I'll just say this to you. You want of these things will make you feel. We have an entire culture of people who are unwilling to actually have the goal be the emotion which you could access anytime you want. I found in my life the more focused that I got on the emotional goal I wanted which was ecstasy, joy, passion, peace, whatever it was. The physical manifestation was a byproduct of it.
Starting point is 00:28:21 But most people just focus on the thing instead of how it will make them feel. And so even when you set the goal, if you can't get it to make you feel a certain way, you're going to continue to miss the goal. But if you can physically do it, you can feel the emotion in your subconscious mind, which is your body, you begin to manifest it. Standards, on the other hand, are completely different than goals. Standards are what you live by. They deliver on goals. So my goal might be to weight 220 pounds and have 5% body fat. My standard is I eat 2000 calories a day. I do you know 60 reps of blah, blah, blah. My standard is I crush it. My standard is I dispense justice in the gym.
Starting point is 00:28:58 My standard is I'm an athlete. The standard is what you'll get. Perfect example of it is I just I have a new show coming out that's called Change, I can't get into it right now, but it's a TV show. And I had this woman on the show and I said, I said, she had gained 180 pounds lost, it gained it back. And I said, here's the challenge for you. You kept setting a goal to lose the weight instead of having an identity and a standard of how you eat and conduct yourself.
Starting point is 00:29:22 And I said, Angie, your identity is, you were a heavy woman who lost weight instead of a fit, beautiful, vibrant woman who had gained weight. Because we always get back to our standard. So you're getting back to the standard as a heavy woman who has no discipline. And this stuff you did was away from you.
Starting point is 00:29:42 It's an activity that's not part of your identity. You'll always come back and get your standard. So we have to switch this Angie that you're a beautiful, vibrant, healthy woman. That's your identity who eats clean, trains hard. That's your standard who's happened to gain 180 pounds. Not the other way around, but because she's been heavy so long, it's become familiar. And that's her history and her memory. So we do a pattern interrupt and get her focused on her vision and her imagination and we change her standard and
Starting point is 00:30:11 identity. Now we've got a chance to lose the weight permanently. And that's what the difference between standards and goals are. I love that so much. And it's in your book and about the debate. I love the whole thing about your baseline, what you're familiar with. Like I'm very much someone who's like, does well in chaos. I think so to you, right? Like that was your thing too. You really prepare. My gosh, you're so good. Of course.
Starting point is 00:30:33 I mean, I, I, I am very, I really believe that in a weekly basis, we get the same five or six emotions we're addicted to, whether they serve us or not. So if you're addicted to, like my mother-in-law's addicted to peace. She loves the Lord. She's the most about Christian ever, right? Like just at the wind blows out of her face, thank you Jesus.
Starting point is 00:30:52 You know, like, this is the truth. Her husband passed away of many, many years the love of her life. And she was sad, but not that, not like you'd think. And she mourned and I said, mom, I said, how do you do this? And she says, well, now I'm married to Jesus.
Starting point is 00:31:10 And how is with the Lord now? And so she had this ability, even in the most difficult times, to access the emotion of peace, right? Whereas me, I took an intro, I do have joy, and I have passion in my life. But one of the emotions I was addicted to, I used to brag about chaos. No matter how wealthy I got, I'd find a way to mess things up so I could fix them. I had to do another deal, I had to do another thing.
Starting point is 00:31:32 I'm addicted to, I used to brag, I'm the best under chaos. Well, that's like a really shitty thing to say about yourself, right? That means you live in chaos all the time, Ed Mylett. So I do evaluate that. It's like that emotion doesn't serve me. It's very familiar. It came from my childhood and I never dropped it. No matter what happened in my life, no matter what change, no matter how good my relationships,
Starting point is 00:31:52 how much money I had, I found a way to get me some chaos. And most of you are nodding your head right now going, oh my gosh. So I think it's important taking inventory of what emotions you get regularly and which ones don't serve you. And for me, chaos was the one that I wanted to drop and I've replaced it with something much, much more powerful. Which is what? Joy and laughter.
Starting point is 00:32:12 I realized in my family, we were very happy, but we didn't laugh enough. Like we just didn't laugh enough. Like there wasn't enough, when I walked in my house, I didn't hear enough laughter. And I'm responsible for the culture in my companies And I'm responsible for the culture in my companies, and responsible for the culture in my family. We have a wonderful culture in my family of giving, of loving one another. I think of being pretty good people, but we didn't have a culture of laughing enough.
Starting point is 00:32:38 And I thought, what can I replace chaos with? I want more joy. I want more laughter. I already was working on peace. My word for this year is peace. I wrote a chapter in the book called One more level of equanimity. What equanimity is peace under duress. How do you find peace in chaos? How do you find peace during stress? What separates Tom Brady from your normal quarterback? When it's the fourth quarter God bless Aaron Rogers a good buddy of mine. But something happens there in Rodgers and fourth quarter is a football game, particularly
Starting point is 00:33:10 in the playoffs, where he doesn't perform very well. So when it gets chaotic, he loses equanimity. Brady, when it gets chaotic, he finds more peace. Things slow down more for him. Rodgers is physically more gifted. Much more. Right. Much, much more. Yeah. Brady is far more mentally and emotionally gifted. And it's not mental. It's emotional. He accesses the right emotions on a regular basis, whereas Rodgers, I think, accesses and performs
Starting point is 00:33:37 poorly. Chaos creates lack of peace. Chaos with Brady creates equanimity. And so I replaced it with joy laughter and equanimity. How do you do that? How do you replace it, though? What's the process of changing what has not worked for you emotionally to what does work? Besides now, okay, now I'm aware of it. I know I'm a chaotic. I know I'm having anxiety.
Starting point is 00:33:58 I know whenever those things are that are not working for you, those negative emotions. I know you don't believe all emotions are not negative or positive. I know you say that. But if you have, go ahead. No, no, I was going to say, not all emotions are negative. It's the abundance of them. Like, for example, worry. You'd say, well, that's a negative emotion.
Starting point is 00:34:22 Well, not all the time. Like, part of you worrying that this goes well today caused you to prepare, right? Exactly. That's what I was going to say. Sometimes it actually works for you, not against you. 100% anger. People go, man, anger's terrible.
Starting point is 00:34:34 Well, for me, when I get angry, I get really self-reflective. I get really focused. Do I want to be angry most of the time? No. Do I never want any of that? No, I could tell you. Sometimes when I'm in the gym,
Starting point is 00:34:45 I get a langle. It goes really well. Right? So that's an extreme emotion that I don't want a lot of. It's not completely negative. Okay. How do we replace these emotions? One, we take an end in tourism and we actually begin to repetitively visualize these emotions. I talk about it in the book. You said something really important, which is awareness. For me, being aware that I do something helps it lose its power over me. I actually do these visualizations that may sound funny, but I do these visualizations in my mind where when I'm doing something chaotic, I play the video of the chaos that I create, and this may sound strange, but let me tell you what really works. I actually, it's like a CD playing in your mind.
Starting point is 00:35:24 So I watch the video of me doing something stupid this chaotic and I begin to change the color of it and brighten it And then I begin to play music over it. It's like carnival music like you clown you dope And I actually start to scramble the pattern in my brain of what chaos looks like and I begin to look like a fool doing it rather than a superhero conquering it and Over time as I replay that CD it like scratches out the old pattern and replaces it with hilarity Almost embarrassment that I do it and then when I get the awareness I'm like oh my gosh new in this hilarious. I'm doing the stupid chaos thing the awareness it loses its power over me And I'm not exaggerating in my mind
Starting point is 00:36:04 I go, and it actually changes it. I learned to do that from a teen psychologist when I was playing college baseball, who passed away. When I ground into double plays, I'd get mad and reinforce the emotion of my body. He'd make me do the visualization of it and then make it really bright and then speed it up and then slow it down and then play hilarious music over it to where like I'm laughing at myself as I do this And it's not who I am anymore. The last thing is the language we use when I work with putters Are we going to detail here? Is this okay? No, I love it. I love the details
Starting point is 00:36:36 I'm very much into that the minutia of everything for the more detail the better Okay, so like with athletes when I work with them if you're a golfer and you're struggling with putting, what do most athletes do when they miss a putt? I do it when I play golfer and anything with you. I suck. And they verbally reinforce the fact that they feel pressure when they putt. This may seem very subtle. When my golfer's miss putts, they are told to say to them, says, wow, that's not like me. Wow, that's not like me. That's not like, detach from the experience and separate yourself from it. That's not like me.
Starting point is 00:37:12 So the next time they get over a pot, the miss isn't playing in their mind as a part of their identity who they are when they're in that pot. If it's a miss, it's like that's not like me and when they make them, that's who I am, that's who I am, that's who I am. So for me I am, that's who I am. So for me, when I'm doing something where I overcome chaos and I don't allow it to rule
Starting point is 00:37:29 my world, I say, that's who I am, that's who I am, that's who I am. And when I do it, I go, that's not like me. That's not like me. I use the language to separate from the behavior. In other words, that'd be too difficult. When you attach the behavior to who you are, now it owns you. When you attach the behavior and you separate you from your behavior, repetitively when you attach the behavior to who you are, now it owns you. When you attach the behavior and you separate, you from your behavior,
Starting point is 00:37:48 repetitively when you're doing it, over time it becomes unfamiliar to your unconscious and subconscious mind, and you cease to do it repetitively again. And then when you do it, because patterns happen, you can't do it again, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no,
Starting point is 00:38:01 that's not like me, and you separate from it, and replace it. You need replacement emotions. Like when people were drinking oftentimes, they'll tell them to replace it with a 12-step program they become addicted to. Replace it with prayer. Replace it with reading. Replace it with fitness. Extra, exactly. And so for me, it's a replacement emotion. That's a great, I like that. That's actually a very, so when you, do you, by the way, do you still work with individuals like you still work with athletes or whoever it is on an individual basis? How do you have the time to do everything? I feel like your schedule is
Starting point is 00:38:36 like insane. I would say my schedule right now for being, if I mean completely honest, like you hit on something that's a real sensitive spot I was talking about with my team this morning, I would say right now I'm out of control. And I'd love to be on every show and say I have my total act together And man be just like me, but I think one of the reasons that I help I reach millions and millions of people is that I Look if you want to really impress people show them how perfect you are if you really want to Help people and connect with them show them your imperfections Yeah, and one you're imperfections. And one of my imperfections is clearly that I'm doing too much right now.
Starting point is 00:39:09 And it needs to stop. I'm certainly heading towards a bad place if I continue this pace. The answer is I do work one-on-one. It's very expensive. And usually it's with someone who can make a major, major impact, but I have NDAs, but I work with people that move the needle in the world. Do I have time to do all of what I'm doing right now? No, some things are going to have to go. And, and for me, that's a part of my process in August. We're doing this in July in August is what's going to go. Because I want to bring my A game to everything
Starting point is 00:39:40 I do and you can't do everything. So the true answer is that I'm not managing, saying no. I've always struggled in my life. I'm a people pleaser, even though I don't see, I have a deep voice and you know, whatever, I look a certain way. I'd say my personality is pretty opposite of what I look like. And I've really, a lot of times saying no to people. I struggle with it. Even yesterday, you're like, so are you going to come back and do a second podcast? I'm like, yes, you know, the truth is that I should say, I'm not sure. You know, I need to check my schedule. But I did.
Starting point is 00:40:11 You could say that. Well, I said it after I expected it. I said, OK. And then I said, well, let me look. So I struggle with saying no. It's one of the, it's a real weakness of mine. Is the true answer. No, actually, but you have a very, you have a very,
Starting point is 00:40:26 even sweetness to you though. Like even like I can see, like even I'm picking up on like just different like personality pieces of yours, like even when you're like, oh, am I going too deep? And like you actually have like a, you know, as successful as you are,
Starting point is 00:40:41 there's still very much like this childlike person inside of you that wants to be liked and wants to, you know, and I see this, so that's, I understand what you're saying. So by the way, does that go ahead? No, I'm just going to say I love people. Like I want to help people. Like if I'm not, tell me, you know, like I, my favorite people, Toa, this really unique line of humility and confidence.
Starting point is 00:41:07 Yeah. And people that have, you will all know a bunch of you, tons of confidence with no humility. They fry because they're not curious anymore. They don't ask questions. They don't think they have anything to learn. They're just, yeah. And then people tons of humility
Starting point is 00:41:21 who have no self confidence, well, the friends like that, you're like carrying them all the time. You can do it. You know, you can do. So I like people who nuance right down the middle there. I feel like most of the time I do, I am a confident person. But I think I have enough humility to go, am I helping you? Am I missing this?
Starting point is 00:41:37 You know, what can I learn? I'm a learner. I'm a grower. I don't. I'm when I was 30, I thought I knew everything. Now that I'm 51, I realized I wrote the book. You're like, man thought I knew everything. Now that I'm 51, I realize when I wrote the book, people are like, man, there's so much in this book, it's my favorite book I've ever read.
Starting point is 00:41:49 And I'm like, the truth of the matter is, when I wrote the book, I figured out, you know what? I don't know that much. I'll put what I do know in a book, but the stuff I don't know is a bigger list than the stuff I do know. And I like learning, I like growing. So I get something from other people
Starting point is 00:42:03 when they get stuff from me. Well, I love that. I mean, I really do. Your book is great, actually. And I'm not just saying that because you're on the podcast, but that's why I wanted to do other podcasts because it is. But can we, let's go back to your day, because can you give us a day in the life, like, especially now when you're saying it's so chaotic, what is your day, like what is your day to day, and what are the habits that you put in place to, because habits and hustle, to kind of be at your peak performance and be the most productive. And then we can talk also about your time man.
Starting point is 00:42:36 You have a great chapter about that, which is what we start, I told you how it helped me today. Yeah, I think it'll start there. So my, because I think that is my main habit is how I manage and bend time. So the truth of the matter is like many, many years about 25 years ago, which changed my life. I realized, look, I'm not the smartest person.
Starting point is 00:42:54 I'm just not, you know, I'm my IQ is what it is. And so how am I gonna get ahead? How am I gonna dominate in life? I gotta take time and look at it differently. So I bend and manipulate time. It's in the book. I go very detailed on it. But to me, a 24-hour day of some crap that was created 300 years ago when there was no electricity. There was no internet. You know, 300 years ago, if I wanted to get you some communication, I had to find somewhere to write a note down, stick it on the back of some horses butt, and hope you
Starting point is 00:43:22 got it a month later. Maybe writing, I get it back three months from now, right? Now I can text you in two seconds. So why in the world am I managing time the same way that dude did 300 years ago? It's insane. So the fact that we still manage time the same way we did 20 years ago when there was no smartphones and no real internet that most people used is bananas. So I started looking at it and I'm like, well, when I had to get a high school project done, I did drive.
Starting point is 00:43:44 My mom drive me down to a library, bust out in cyclopedia Britannicus, write everything down by hand, come back to my house, get on a typewriter, Zell Olam, type a bunch of crap out. And if I miss a word, I had to redo the whole page and do it again. Now, my daughter hits Google print, there's her report. She totally, right? So how in the world is our day measured the same way? And when you, I say that he'll change your life when you read my book on this, like it'll just change your life. So my day is from 6 a.m. to noon. And by the way, just to be clear what a day looks like,
Starting point is 00:44:15 so you don't think I'm psycho. I used to have 24 hour days where that day was lay on the couch and watch football. That's okay. So when I say a day, some of these days maybe that's all you're going to do. But the leisure time in 24 hours is so stupid. So 6 a.m. to noon is a day. We've all had that morning where we go. I got more done this morning than I've gotten three weeks done. I just do that every day now. So 6 a.m. to noon is a day.
Starting point is 00:44:38 Workout, fitness, fun, faith, family, business, money, whatever it is, it's a day. At noon, a clock goes off in my head. This day just ended. Just like for a normal person around 8 p.m., it happens for me at noon. It happens. It's noon, pingo. What did I just get done? What do I need to focus on?
Starting point is 00:44:54 What did I miss? What am I grateful for? What's next? Takes me 30 seconds. I'm into day two. Noon to 6 p.m. Same thing. Fun, business, fitness, money, whatever it might be, faith, family.
Starting point is 00:45:06 That's a day, third day, 6 p.m. to midnight. Some of that time I sleep, some of that time I'm working, some of that time it's fun, some of that time it's a cigar and tequila, some of it's contacts and calls. Here's the bottom line. I get 21 days a week, most people get seven. Stack that up over a month, stack that up over a year, stack that up over a decade, I will smoke you.
Starting point is 00:45:25 My life will be richer in every area, more fun, more family, more faith, more fitness, more business, more money, because I calibrate time differently. Period and disorder. It gives me three times a day to check in in a normal day. The last thing that happens, then I'll come up for air,
Starting point is 00:45:39 is the rest of the world responds to you differently when you run many days. Because what is perceived as scarce is valuable in our world. rest of the world responds to you differently when you run many days. Because what is perceived as scarce is valuable in our world. It's valuable. And so that's why diamonds are worth more than paper. There's less of them. And so when you have less time to give people the more valuable you become and become perceived.
Starting point is 00:45:59 And so it changed the way everybody in the world replied and responded to me. That's how I get a lot of stuff done. A normal day is not normal for me. I think today, so that answers my habits. I think today, I think I probably have 10 meetings today. And that's too many. So just two. 10 meetings. Yeah, I think I've, I mean, I'll just write before this, I was on with my architect for a house I was building. Before that, I was on with my CPA. Before that, I had a prep call with Ryan Sirhant because we're doing Instagram live together tomorrow. And by the way, it's only right now, 11, 48, my time
Starting point is 00:46:32 about to end my first day. I trained this morning. I ate breakfast this morning. I walked my dogs on the beach. I met with my kids this morning already. So I prayed when I woke up this morning. I did my morning routine, cold plunger, all that other stuff. So I've already done all that today, right?
Starting point is 00:46:46 Plus I've done text messages to friends and checked in on people already today and a series of emails and talk with my social media team and made multiple social media posts. And it's 1148. I've got a lot done today so far. My day ends in about 12 minutes. Do you drink a lot of coffee or what's your, what is your, I enter them in fast. So no, but I do drink a lot of coffee or what's like, what's your, like, what is your, I intermittent fast. So no, but I do drink a lot of water.
Starting point is 00:47:08 I did have an energy drink problem for a long time. I dropped, got headaches before I dropped them. But so no, and by the way, I'm not that psycho. Like not every, before all of this started happening, you know, I, many of my days are chill. It's just lately. I'm very productive in those days and by the way this day today my last Meet my last actual business meeting is at 6 p.m. Tonight. I have a six to seven p.m. interview. I'm doing with a Media in Europe and then that day ends but tomorrow morning. I have that Instagram line with Sirhan. I've got
Starting point is 00:47:41 Meeting with a new agent from William Morris. I've got a whole day tomorrow, and then when I'm done with that, I jump on an airplane. I fly to Las Vegas. I speak tomorrow night. So it's pretty nuts. Wow. Would you send a majority of your, okay, so wait. So what time do you actually wake up?
Starting point is 00:47:54 If your day starts at six, are you waking up at 5.30? Are you waking up at six? What time do you... Usually it means I wake up at six, but I didn't. I woke up at five today. And then how long do you work out for? Like what is certain things that are there certain things are not like non-negotiables that you do every single day
Starting point is 00:48:11 at a certain time? To kind of. Yeah, when I woke up, I'm sorry, I didn't mean to talk over you there. Yeah, when I woke up this morning, I immediately sat in a magnetic bed that I have. It's actually on my mattress. I sit in that for about 10 minutes.
Starting point is 00:48:23 It alkalizes your blood, separates your red blood cells. I left that. I went, I, this is after I prayed and did some other things. I'm some of the physical things you have to about working out. So I did that. Then I did some cardio, very light cardio with oxygen. So cardio under load, oxygen. Then I lifted weights for about 35 minutes. And then I sat in an infrared, red light therapy bed. And then I did some stretching. So I was done in about an minutes and then I sat in an infrared red light therapy bed. And then I did some stretching. So I was done in about an hour and 10 minutes. So is that mostly your routine? Like, so the magnetic thing, what is that?
Starting point is 00:48:53 What does that do? And what, you do that before you work out? Yeah, I do. It just, it just alkalizes your body and it can, it separates your red blood cells. It's just really healthy thing to do. It's part of something I do every single day, almost every single day. I have them in all my houses.
Starting point is 00:49:07 It's not that expensive. And then the oxygen under load, I don't do as often. Like you and I were talking about, I don't do much cardio, but I did today. And then I lift the weights pretty heavy today, actually. Then I did some stretching and I sat, that infrared bed I love. Probably my favorite hack is my infrared bed.
Starting point is 00:49:25 More than, is it like not an infrared sauna, that infrared bed I love. Probably my favorite hack is my infrared bed. More than is it like not an infrared sauna an infrared bed? Nexual bed is a red light therapy bed. Yeah. Oh I love those. I think they're they have one at next health. Do you have one at your house? It looks like it's it looks like a tanning bed right? It looks like a tanning bed. Yeah and by the way for most people who can't afford that and by the way I very much relate to that. Yeah you can go get there's lots of places now that you can sit in them like a tannic membership and just pay every session. Yeah, yeah. It's just going to like it's kind of like how a cryotherapy used to be. You step there your own thing in your house. Now you can go to places and do cryo and infrared is that thing for me. And I feel a major difference. I feel it my skin. I feel it my hair.
Starting point is 00:50:02 I feel it my energy. You can change it it so like some of it can help you sleep. If you wanna sleep, some of it's good for energy. There's different ways to calibrate the light that helps me. You can also get the, the ones I have in my house, they have like, there's huge boards, like there are like four or five feet boards and you can have a whole room and you can stand there
Starting point is 00:50:19 or just one, it's great, I love that too. You do it too, that's interesting. Of course. Most people I say that do the whole of my life. My house is like a wellness facility here. I love that. You do it too. That's interesting. Of course. Most people say that you don't have a problem. My house is like a wellness facility here. I have like 77 treadmill. I mean, I have my entire, I have an infrared sauna. I have all the lights.
Starting point is 00:50:33 I have like every gizmo you can possibly imagine. I mean, you can come here for like a little... You've been doing hot and cold. I mean, yeah, the hot and cold cleansing. Yeah. Yeah. I'm doing a lot about lately too. I yeah. Yeah, I'm doing a lot of that lately too. I like how my body feels when I do it. So do you love, I hate, like the one thing
Starting point is 00:50:51 that is one thing is very difficult for me is a cold part, the cold plunge for me, I hate that. Me too, I don't like it, I don't like it at all. And I think some people take it to the extreme. Like the new cold plunge and they live where it's 30 degrees in the winter and they wonder where they're constantly sick. I'm like, hello, there's a modification here that's needed.
Starting point is 00:51:10 I do it because it's difficult. Be honest with you, I like the cold contrast now because I've made this negotiation with myself that when I get out of the cold, I get to get into the hot, so I know something good's coming. So that's made it easier for me, but no, I don't like doing the cold thing at all.
Starting point is 00:51:24 But I do like how I wake up when I do it. And I like that I started my day doing some hard crap that most people won't do. 100%. I'm a big believer in that too. Like what I would do is I go into my sauna. Actually, Laird Hamilton did that, you know, he had this whole system that he does. He put me through this whole crazy nont like you're in the sauna and then you jump out for like three minutes and go into this ice cold, you know, plunge, go back into the sauna, go back and forth. To me, I'd be happy just staying in the sauna. I don't mind the heat, it's the other part.
Starting point is 00:51:57 Oh, it's really good. Yeah, I like sweating, I like how it feels, I let me to. I like the hot, I like, the sauna gives me this feeling like I worked out, I can kind of feel some of the toxins coming out of me I'm like I'm working out right now right because you're just pouring and sweating. That's cool. Yeah so I do love that but it's like how you know it's like okay if that's the one I like I really need to be doing the other one.
Starting point is 00:52:16 And so I do the whole of Gabby told me about the whole system Gabby Reese took me through that whole system and I think it's wonderful that Laird does that and I do something kind of similar now but I don't do that every day anymore. I've changed that. Yeah. I mean, did you do the system with him? Did she put you through? She did it to me too, actually. No. But when you jump in the water with the weights and all that stuff, I watched all the videos. I told her I was going to do it and then I never did it. So no, it's literally, it was literally me. There's no very few regular humans are able to do that. Like with me when I was at their place doing it, it was only
Starting point is 00:52:50 Navy sales, Olympic athletes. Me, I took my husband, my husband was able to do it. But it was not like, it's not something you can do on a regular basis, like day to day. You know what I mean? Like, it's not scalable for the masses. For sure. Not. Yeah, right. Who's going to do that? The amount of time it requires, too. Like, who has time? Can I say one thing?
Starting point is 00:53:09 That's the thing I was going to tell you. That's the brilliant thing about you, because a lot of people listen to these routines. They're like, well, that's good that you're like an influencer on social, and you have this like warning. I got to get up, get my kids ready for school. You know, like, I got, like, and so I try to create routines now like that are scalable for most people. You're exactly right. Like that sounds wonderful that you guys are going out and jumping in pools and lifting weights and sawing and like I got an hour when I get
Starting point is 00:53:33 up to get to my kids to school, right? So what can I do? And that's sort of the stuff I tried to like I actual stuff you could physically do as an everyday normal person. I you're one million percent correct. I mean, that's the thing, like no matter how many things I even have gizmos and gadgets in my house because I'm obsessed with this stuff. I mean, at the end of the day, I don't have, I can't do all of that all. I mean, I, what do I do?
Starting point is 00:53:54 I go, I run on my wood way because I love that treadmill. I do my weights. I like try to figure out ways to maybe do the sauna like for 20 minutes here and there. But most people, anybody, actually not even all people, if you have a family, I have two kids, I have to make them breakfast, make them lunch,
Starting point is 00:54:11 get them to school, get them to camp, pick them up, do the dance class, the soccer. I mean, like, if you wanna be a human being that has like, to have a robust whole person, you know, like I can't just be like working out and doing my fitness all day, you know? I listen to some shows where I have guests on, I'm like, well that would take three and a half hours,
Starting point is 00:54:29 probably in the real world to do. I'm not sure what the rest of your day is like, but that wouldn't fly in time for me. 100% are you able, because with all your success, how are you able to balance that with your family? Like how do you, because a lot of people I know in my life, and I'm sure with you two, they dominate in one area. They're super successful, like say in business,
Starting point is 00:54:51 but everything else suffers, like their family life suffers, or shitty fathers or moms, whatever, they're not available, they're not around, their marriages are terrible, or they don't have one, or they don't have, you know what I mean, they're very, they're very, they're heavy in one area, but nothing else. Where is the balance?
Starting point is 00:55:07 How do people really get the balance? It's so good to do that. I'm not balanced for sure, but I will, I did have my kids on my podcast yesterday. They're 20 years old. Yeah, it'll come out, you know, whenever, you know, it comes out, but, and I asked them that. I said, what's it like having a dad this busy of?
Starting point is 00:55:23 I missed too many things. If I not been present. My daughter said, daddy, maybe like one them that. I said, what's it like having a dad this busy if I miss too many things, if I not been present? My daughter said, daddy, maybe like one time for like six months, I think you weren't as engaged as you've been all the rest of it, but no, and I made me feel really good. I believe extremity expands capacity. I have this in the book too.
Starting point is 00:55:38 For me, because it's my overall belief system, I think when I'm crushing it in the gym, I'm a better business person. I bring more energy to business. When I'm crushing it in the gym, I'm a better business person. I bring more energy to business. When I'm crushing it in business, I'm a better dad. When I'm losing in business, I'm one crappy dude to be around at home. And so I want to be winning in all these areas. But what I have done a pretty good job of is show me your calendar and I'll show you your priorities in your life. And so here's what I used to do. I used to schedule my business and my fitness
Starting point is 00:56:06 and all this stuff and then go, okay, where can I fit the kids and my wife in? And so they fit in somewhere. And so what was the first thing to get moved them, right? And then I switched it like about 15 years ago. And what I do is I schedule my family first in my calendar. And then the rest of it goes around that. And just the process of sequential scheduling,
Starting point is 00:56:29 I guarantee you, most people are like, well, I've got all of my business meetings in here, all of my stuff, and then I squeeze my date night in. I squeeze this. And you go, that's easy to say in theory. Trust me, this would work if you did it. And so I actually schedule our family stuff first, and then everything else, that doesn't mean
Starting point is 00:56:47 I have a Mr. Soccer game, I have. Doesn't mean I have a Miss volleyball tournament, I have. But it's rare. It's rare because that's my priority, one, and then everything else is scheduled around it. This is where these many days really matter. You have more time than you think. What's the many day do?
Starting point is 00:57:03 Let me just say this one thing to you. I don't have a lot of one-hour business meetings anymore. I've had thousands of one-hour business meetings in my life that could have been 22 minutes. They just could have been. And so the way I schedule, what does most people do? They block an hour or a half hour for meetings. I don't. I scheduled a meeting for how long it needs to be. So even in business stuff, a lot of my team knows, this is a two minute or isn't it? Yep, I got one question. Come on in. And they asked the question.
Starting point is 00:57:29 So that changes. When you run those many days I said earlier, you're gonna find there's a lot of holes. There's 24 hour days, like, yeah, it's a meet for an hour. You know 20 minutes in, now you're just be asking for 40 minutes. Or you're recreating yourself. And so there's a great book called Death by Meeting that I read. And so for me,
Starting point is 00:57:45 my team doesn't have this bizarre because of your calendars like, okay, block off one 30 to two o'clock for this. I'm like, no, what is this one? It's a 22-minute or great, block them for 22. And I do that. That may sound cold, but once everyone's used to it, it's the same as 30. It's the same as an hour. It's just a different number, but it gives me much more time. Office Depot Office Max has great deals on everything you need to succeed, like stylish furniture and chairs to keep you working comfortably, the latest tech to keep you organized and productive, calendars and planners to keep you on schedule, and cleaning supplies to keep your space spotless. It's the perfect time to stock up on the supplies you need to succeed from the
Starting point is 00:58:22 office to your home and everywhere in between. Need it fast? No problem. Place your order at office Depot.com and pick it up in just 20 minutes at your nearest office Depot or office max store. I think that I mean I agree with you. I think those meeting situations are usually I don't even take any unless it's completely mandatory unless it's something I if someone I don't know and it has to be a face to face
Starting point is 00:58:44 at the beginning, because what happens is exactly what you're saying. You end up just like bullshitning around talking about nothing, you know, about infrared saunas or whatever. All right. So, right? Or like, you go over the same shit over and over and over again.
Starting point is 00:59:01 It's like, that's why like these Zoom meetings, you remember before all of this, before COVID and all this other stuff, people would call each other. They would say, yeah, the question or whatever, before social media meet even, but, or, you know, there was like, now people to text, but my point is, now everything has to become a zoom meeting, which is an hour, the waste of time. Well, there's also a rule I have. You know, there's annoying voice text you get, they're like four minutes long. I know listen. So I've literally told my friends
Starting point is 00:59:29 that here's how this thing is going to work. If you send me a voice text, I ain't hearing it. Take the damn time to type to me what you wanted to say and I will get back to you. But I'm not doing this, you know, another call comes in when you're listening to it. You're two minutes. Oh, shit. I got to do this all over again. It's like a 30 minute thing to listen to something, they could have texted them eight seconds, right? So there's all these things I do now. I'm like, if you send me that, it's getting deleted.
Starting point is 00:59:52 So don't send me your crap. You're doing this, you're, you're, you don't wanna make the effort of typing this crap. So I have to make the effort of listening to your ask for four minutes on something that could take six seconds. You're gonna have to go. I don't have to go. You're a hundred percent right.. You're 100% right.
Starting point is 01:00:05 How annoying is it? I tell people all the time, I'm not listening to this not. Just if I have the type, then you have to type. Because you talk. You talking and riffing for like four minutes where then I have to like then like sit and take my time, I will not listen to those. How lazy have we become a culture?
Starting point is 01:00:23 Like now even typing a text is to, you know, like come on, man, like type the damn text. It's a respect thing to me that you type it. So I don't take my whole life, listen to voice notes all day long. I wish, I wish iPhones would drop the stupid ability to do it. Oh, you know what? As you are so, right? That's why I would never, I never, ever send voice notes for that exact reason. And it's the same people who stand those stupid voice notes all the time.
Starting point is 01:00:52 So thank you, you're like, all right, here he comes again, there's three of that. Now I will voice text like dot, dot, dot, you know, hey, I need you to do this. But if I do it, I've done that so much, this is hilarious. My wife does this all the time. She will call me, literally call me and go, Hey, babe, dot, dot, I've got the kids. Like, you're dot, dot, dot, me in person.
Starting point is 01:01:15 It's a little bit, she voice, you know, voice the text message. It's hilarious. That is so hilarious. I'm sorry. I know that I went over by two minutes and eight seconds with you. Hopefully, you forgive me. I know I'm into day two for you, right? Cause from 12 to six is your day two.
Starting point is 01:01:32 Yeah, we're in day two. We're in day two. Very rarely do I spend the night with someone, not my wife. I love being a day two. So I apologize. I'm so flattered. I'm flattered, actually.
Starting point is 01:01:43 I feel special. You know, a girl wanna feel chosen and special. You did itattered actually, I feel special, you know, a girl wanna feel chosen and special, you did it. Actually, truthfully speaking, this flew by. I've never done a show that flew by this quickly. I think you're outstanding and I have a show that does really, really well. So I know when someone's, I mean, there's no, it's by no mistake your show's so successful. It's really obvious why.
Starting point is 01:02:01 Great. You are so nice to the top. You're so kind. I'm so, that's so nice of you to say. That is very nice. It's true. I'm not I'm not being nice until you the truth. Well, thank you. Does that mean you'll do part two then? I told you I will. I think we're just going to have to make sure that we here's what I would do if I was you. I would schedule it when there's been a little gap with me of some breathing room so I can bring an even better game to your way. Oh, yeah. I didn't
Starting point is 01:02:23 know. I don't want you right away. I definitely want to kind of space it out a little bit. No, no, no, no, no. It's kind of like, we'll kind of stagger it a little bit. You know? Everyone's sick of me on your show by now already. They're like, all right, that's enough of this, do it. Let's get to the next one. No, absolutely not.
Starting point is 01:02:38 But I will say, I'm upset with the fact that I couldn't do this earlier because you've done so many podcasts over about your book. And so now it's like, I'm like me too. Like, like, here's another one. It's most podcasts don't move the needle. And I'm only doing ones now that I'm like, they move the needle. Like I know, buddy, by the way, listen, let's go get the power of one mortal, change your life. It's a great book. I'm, I hope I have enough credibility with everybody where you just go, Hey, look, I'll trust us, dude. There'll be stuff in there you've never read before.
Starting point is 01:03:06 It's not like it's not one of those other books. For me, personal development books, I feel like most of them when I read them, I already read this one. It's so true. And in this one, I think there'll be some chapters you'd be like, yeah, that doesn't apply, but there'll be enough chapters in there. We go, I got something big right there. That I can tell you.
Starting point is 01:03:23 Well, no, this book, I mean, I was, I'm not just, I would never just blow smoke up your ass and say anything. I'm telling you the truth. This book really was, I really liked the way it was written in a way that's very easy to, it's palatable. You can understand it. It like, if you are a business person, if you're someone struggling in any area of your life,
Starting point is 01:03:41 you can, you definitely can glean something from it. I really did feel that way. From one of the applications to be diverse, like even as a parent, if you want to be a parent, or you're a student and you're trying to find your career, or a leader in business, or an entrepreneur, or an athlete, or a coach. Like, it was one of the hard parts of writing it
Starting point is 01:03:56 because the applications are so diverse, but thank you. I appreciate that. You're welcome. And it's doing super well though. It's not like, you know, it's hundreds of thousands of copies. how many copies have you sold already? I think almost 300,000 Yeah, in a month
Starting point is 01:04:11 Are you serious? Yeah, it's shattered most of the records like in fact today was the first day It wasn't doing really well on Amazon. I'm like what happened? It was like out of the top 100 on Amazon But it's been in the top it was in the top it was number one for a while on Amazon But it was like in the top 10 for like two weeks and then the top 30 the rest of the time. Just today I saw it, it sort of fell out, but yeah, we've sold a lot of books. That's a long time actually to be even, to remain consistent like that. I was surprised, to be honest with you, I've been surprised by how a lot of people have
Starting point is 01:04:43 shared the book. A lot of people have told people to buy the book and that's a lot. I'm not going to drop other people's numbers, but I don't know much about books I've only written to. It's a lot. It's a lot, a lot of books. It'll probably have a million copies sold by the end of the year, which is just wonderful. I hope so. It's for sure. I was in Vegas last week and last weekend. It was in the airport and it was very well placed. And I actually said to the woman, because I knew you were coming on to my, coming on. I'm like, how's that book doing? Is it doing well or people buying it?
Starting point is 01:05:17 And she's like, yeah, people really like it. Okay, good. Thank you. That's good. I don't want a whole bunch of them sitting there on the shelf. So, I've got a few things that people send me, pictures from books, there's none left That's good. I don't want a whole bunch from sitting there on the shelf. So yeah, people send me pictures from books or it's like there's none left. I'm like good. By the way, he's told so many books that it sold out even on Amazon for a while. Like even sold out of Target, sold out of Barnes and Noble. It was not good when it sold out of Amazon for like three days. And then for a while, it's said, it's going to take two months to get a book. But now there's plenty of inventory.
Starting point is 01:05:41 So I used to who do you think is buying it? Is it mostly women, man? What's your demo you think that really, like that, because I like we just said, it's good for everybody, but is there have you been noticing that people think it's only for them? Or. But I would say I have more women
Starting point is 01:05:59 than follow me than men. So I know, if I were betting, I would tell you that more women have bought the book than men have. By like probably 60 60 40 or 70 30 And I don't know you know exactly what to attribute that to but I it's certainly more females But I think probably no I've watched people in their 70s buying and I've watched like you know 16 year olds reading it So I don't have a good I don't have a good grip on that. I don't know who's buying it
Starting point is 01:06:22 But I do know I bet just based on like Instagram maybe guys buy books and don't post as much on social, but based on like posts and shares, certainly it seems like more women. Well, I agree with you. I think women are much more women buy books more than men, but they're probably buying it for their for their husbands or both friends. Okay, there you go. That's what I think. Yeah. Because you know what's funny, I'm very close with Ryan, Ryan Lockty, right? Yeah. Yeah. Very. And so I, he told me that he, his wife reached out to you in this whole thing and like,
Starting point is 01:06:56 but you like legit, like really helped him. Like, like, forget about what he posted on social media. Like, oh, thank you. He does hold, like, long tribute to you. That's when I was like, what the hell's going on here. social media, like, oh, thank you. He just hold like long tribute to you. That's when I was like, what the hell's going on here? But he's like offline. And I don't care. He can even listen to this because it's true.
Starting point is 01:07:12 He's like, you really, like, whatever you said to him or whatever you did with him, it made a difference and made an impact. Well, we ended up taking it a step further where he just came on that show that I have coming out. That'll be out like the end of August. And we're actually working together now. We had one initial call where I think I held yeah that's when it was now we're really we're working together. I think he is
Starting point is 01:07:32 just the most genuinely hard and good misunderstood person ever. He's such a one. 100% such a and by the way you know gets lost in the shuffle on Ryan is he's just one of the greatest athletes in Olympic history but no one totally that's not what people are remembering, but they're going to he is a wonderful father a great husband a Super great dude, and he just needs to know that he just needs to believe that more and he will and he does he's getting there I love that you're actually truly working with him because this is that he you just said he's so misunderstood And he's such a kind person and so nice that I think the media has taken advantage of that and like has not let this one experience or one thing like go. I think they pick and choose what they'll drop and what they'll kind of like
Starting point is 01:08:17 you know create and it's really unfortunate because he really he is truly one of the best athletes of all time and it's all been just just just been like kind of pushed down with this stupid story. And so I love that you work with them. Yeah, that's a good example though of how one decision can change your life though. That one decision he made in 2016 really heard him. However, Ryan's made tons of other decisions that have really been beautiful. And Ryan, it's really, we talked about it earlier. Ryan was a guy with tremendous self-confidence
Starting point is 01:08:47 with not enough humility. Now he's flipped the other way where he's got all of this humility and we need to get his confidence back a little bit. And I think he's one of the kindest, most gentle, genuinely good people who could help change people's lives that I've met as an athlete. And I think he's gonna do it. So I'm really, really, I'm honored and grateful that we're friends now and that we're doing stuff together.
Starting point is 01:09:09 I'm so glad that you love him too because he is so wonderful. He's just wonderful. I do. And I love that you're working with him. So you don't want it. I'll let you go. But when are you going to, when can you talk about your show or this other thing that you were talking about? The end of August beginning of September. Yeah. That's so exciting. Okay, good, okay. So we'll be in touch then, because I'm going to come harass you to be on maybe around
Starting point is 01:09:33 some other time when you have something to talk about. It wouldn't be a harassment at this point. Now that we've done this, I would love to do it. You're so sweet. And I'm so excited and proud for you, because even though I don't know you very well, I kind of feel that we bonded here and this We have and this book called the power of one more is so good. You guys please please if you if you see it by it Go to Amazon. It is awesome. He has such great practical information for everybody and anyone to integrate into their lives. So
Starting point is 01:10:01 Thank you. I enjoyed today. You're awesome. I did too. You're awesome. And now we're gonna be friends. We are with friends We're BFS. We're BFFs now and now you can go do your day two without you know You had you had this one night stand. You can go now to the rest Stay up on the grind, don't stop, keep it going. Habits and hustle from nothing in the sun. All out, a host of bio-general fuck going. Visionaries, tune in, you can get to know. Re-inspired, this is your moment. Excuses, we in heaven at the Habits and hustle podcasts. Power by Habits. Hope you enjoyed this episode.
Starting point is 01:10:43 I'm Heather Monahan, host of Creating Confidence, a part of the YAP media network, the number one business and self-improvement podcast network. Okay, so I want to tell you a little bit about my show. We are all about elevating your confidence to its highest level ever and taking your business right there with you. Don't believe me? I'm going to go ahead and share some of the reviews of the show so you can believe my listeners. I have been a longtime fan of Heather's no matter what phase of
Starting point is 01:11:12 life I find myself in. Heather seems to always have the perfect gems of wisdom that not only inspire but motivate me into action. Her experience and personality are unmatched and I love her go getter attitude. This show has become a staple in my life. I recommend it to anyone looking to elevate their confidence and reach that next level. Thank you! I recently got to hear Heather at a live podcast taping with her and Tracy Hayes and I immediately subscribe to this podcast. It has not disappointed and I cannot wait to listen to as many as I can as quick as I can.
Starting point is 01:11:43 Thank you Heather for helping us build confidence and bring so much value to the space. If you are looking to up your confidence level, click creating confidence now.

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