Habits and Hustle - Episode 187: Shaun T – Fitness Trainer, “Insanity”, “Hip Hop Abs”, Podcast Host, and Author

Episode Date: October 4, 2022

Pre-order Jen’s New Book: Bigger, Better, Bolder today: https://amzn.to/3hvtqYp Shaun T is a Fitness Trainer, “Insanity”, “Hip Hop Abs”, Podcast Host, and Author. Possibly one of the largest household names in the fitness world, Shaun T blesses us with his enthusiastic presence! His personality isn’t a front, but don’t be fooled. This episode covers incredibly dark and serious subjects about his childhood trauma, insecurity, neglect, and how he rose from it all to be the Shaun T that he is now. He and Jen cover his childhood, his “coming out”, the creation of the highest-selling workout of all time “Insanity”, and much more. Ever wonder about the personalities behind those videos you work out to? Need a little personal motivation from someone who’s been dragged through it and still crushing it on the other side? Don’t miss this one. Content Warning: Childhood Sexual Abuse/Trauma Shaun’s Website – https://www.shauntacademy.com/ Shaun’s Instagram – https://www.instagram.com/shaunt ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐ Did you learn something from tuning in today? Please pay it forward and write us a 5-star review on Apple Podcasts. 📧If you have feedback for the show, please email [e-mail]  📙Get yourself a copy of Jennifer Cohen’s newest book from Habit Nest, Badass Body Goals Journal. ℹ️Habits & Hustle Website 📚Habit Nest Website 📱Follow Jennifer – Instagram – Facebook – Twitter – Jennifer’s Website Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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pressure All right, you guys on Habits and Hustle today, we have the one and only Sean T, one of my favorite fitness legends on the planet. He is very well known, probably most well known for some of his smash hits such as Insanity and Hip Hop abs, which were probably some of the most successful commercial infomercials ever that's ever hit this planet. But more than that, more than Sean being so successful with these beach body programs, he himself is just such a beacon of light. And he has a whole business called Shaunti Inc. that is really about trusting and believing, the same name as his podcast, Trust and

Believe, who it's about transformation, getting you to be the best version of yourself, getting unstuck, facing difficult situations, and mostly trusting and believing in yourself and doing the hard things. You guys, I really enjoyed having this conversation. Me and Sean, to be truth be told, we got along from the jump. We really just became fast friends and I just love this guy. He really is so inspirational, genuine, and this podcast really went deep and talked about things. Honestly, that I wasn't have been expecting for it to do, but if anything, you can see how you are the CEO of your own life. It is up to you to become and be and do what you want and not let anything

from your past hold you back or limiting beliefs hold you back. So really listen to this podcast. I know you're going to enjoy it and glean something from it to really use for your life. Enjoy. Do you play tennis? Oh God, don't you tell me that? I'm really recording.

Oh, yes, I play tennis. I started playing tennis a little over 11 years ago. I crashed my husband and his mom and dad's vacation. Two months after I met him to Australia, I had no idea about tennis. I played football, I tried and fit in basketball, like they were my sports. And when I got down there, they were like,

oh, we're gonna go to the Australia and open. And I remember sitting in the Western hotel in Melbourne, and I was like, I have no idea what I'm about to watch. I didn't know how to score a tennis. They go from 15 to 30 to 40, love. You know, I've damaged this and all this stuff. And I remember going to the match and I saw the guys playing and I was like,

this is so fucking like, like I would be a professional tennis player. Like I was talking all kinds of trash. Right. And then so for Valentine's Day, 2011, Scott bought me a tennis lesson at the National Tennis Center in Queens, New York. I got the first ball over. I thought I was a shit.

And I think I hit every other ball. I'm like, over the curtains and everything. And so I, for the last 11 years have been like obsessed with tennis. I did use it as my cardio for a walk because I just got sick of doing fitness. You know, so I totally understand that. So I got sick of doing fitness anyway.

From that, Scott told me he gets so mad when I tell this story but he was like you'll never be able to hit like a professional tennis player and I'm like do you know the fuck I am like what do you mean and I've really like I was mad at him for I have a grudge for like a few years after him saying that and so two things happened one we met Serena I got to play against Serena. You know, we played doubles. My team, me and my partner beat Serena. No way. I mean, and she was so mad. Like, we were playing. She's so competitive in a good way. She was bombing these balls. That

mean, she was just like, there were a couple of miles. Like, holy shit. Like, if I was playing her one on one, she would whoop my ass. But anyway, I got to play and then, maybe a year and a half ago, I remember Scott saying to me, like, I just want to let you know, I think you can beat me in tennis now, but I'll never admit that, publicly. I remember. Oh, like, well, I feel like anything you do, though,

you become good at. Just from the podcast we did on your podcast, like, you have a lot of like, like, hidden talents that people either don't know about or you don't talk about or is that true? Like, are you the kind of person that if you put your mind to it, you can become good? I think.

Exceptional, I should say, at a lot of things. I think that I am a life de-cathlete, meaning, you know, if I went to the Olympics, the only thing I could probably, the only thing I would win a gold medal in, if it were an Olympic sport, would be fitness. If it was like, you have to do a live class, I feel like that's the thing I sell at the most.

I would be on a medal stand. First, second, and third, probably gold. But I'm down to lose to really good people. But for me, it know, probably go. But I'm down to lose to really good people. But for me, it's about the trying. Like if I find that I'm capable of doing something if my mind tells me I can do it, I can do it. I can sing, I'm not the best singer in the world,

but I can definitely be the lead in a Broadway show, which I really want to be the lead in Kinky Boos. It just came out, I want to be Lola so fucking bad. But anyway, can you really sing that well? But I can sing really good. I'm not Mariah Carey or... Okay, you don't need to be. Try David or you know, Brian McNight, but I can, I can sing. I can dance really well as a professional dancer. I, you know, so I do a lot of things really, really well, but the secret is, if I don't do it well, you're not gonna see me doing it.

So I mean, there are things that I'm not really great at. Like, what, name me one thing that you've tried, and that you aren't great at. Writing a book was really tough for me because I'm not a good writer. I'm a good, I express really well my voice. So like, even when I write posts, you know, Chip will look at my post. Chip is my everything in my business I should say. But Chip will look at my posts and be like, yeah, you made some errors.

You were medical errors and like just one-on-centences. There's sometimes grammatical or, you know, but I'm very, I don't think I'm ADHD because I know my friend Shaleen Johnson talks about that all the time, but I'm definitely, I'm just, I'm not good at organizing my life necessarily, that's why I have really good people around me. Yeah. And.

But that's a true statement for a lot of people who are extraordinary at a high level at certain things. So that's not that unique, right? It's not that abnormal you just say, but you know, I'm in therapy because I'm going to therapy and my therapist, you know, he calls it a high achiever. Because I was just like, you know, one time I was telling him to your point about the question of like, you're good at a lot of things. I have this thing in my head where if I'm not doing anything, I think I'm lazy.

And he said a lot of high achievers have that mindset. And so, um, yeah. So I mean, you know, if there's a lot going on in this brain, most of what comes out now is the messiness and always the real. But before it was just, it was really tough, you know, I, I wasn't at this level of like confidence and belief in myself always, you know. I wasn't at this level of like confidence and belief in myself always, you know, now being 44 is just a different story.

When did it start, like what was like, so walk me through this, right? So how did you even become the shanty that we know from insanity and from all the mega programs? Like becoming that, like were you naturally very, very talented with like even talking to a camera people don't even know How difficult that is to be on cue and to be doing that and to be engaging while also doing the moves like did you audition for it? Like what was the evolution?

First of all can I just tell you I love you like I know we just met but I love you too Great talking to you Like it's amazing. That is so nice. That's the same way towards you. That is so true. It's so true. Like I just, like you're wonderful. Oh, you're wonderful too.

Thank you. Oh, we did love that. We're fearfully and wonderfully made. I just wish most people would like actually believe that they're wonderful, but that's whole not so. That's a whole other podcast actually. I do like the fact that you asked me, but that's whole not so. That's a whole other podcast actually. I do like the fact that you asked me like how did you become Sean T from what people already knew.

Because most people ask the question like how did it happen? Yeah. But I love how you ask like the evolution because we know what we see on TV. Right. And when you see actors and you see all the people that are on TV or you know somewhat famous if you have no, but you are in the fitness space. There's very few names that are household names, right? Very few. You could be a really successful fitness person, but there's a handful.

And you are one of those people. Probably maybe not my mom, because she's 80, but most other people, if you say Sean T, people automatically, oh yeah, insanity, beach body. Oh yeah, that guy, hip hop abs. Like, you've been like kind of part of the DNA in the fitness space for so many years that people at some level will know who you are.

It's funny you say so many years because someone said to me the other day, they were like, you have been doing your tapes in 2001 and I'm like, no, you're having because I was still in college. But to answer your question, which is a really good question, I'll tell you a really interesting story. So I used to teach at Equinox in West Hollywood when I first moved to Los Angeles. Was that your release? So yeah, I used to teach there and people used to wait

like an hour for my class and it was always packed, especially in my Saturday class. And it was a dance class. I told 10 classes a week or 12 and there were, there were all kinds of fitness classes from both Sue to both Sue steps, you know, you can't everything. But my most popular classes, my hip hop dance class and so people were wait. And so there was a producer that worked at Beachbody that came to my class. Two of them with like she would always look from outside the window

of my class when they came in. Anyway, she got in touch with a trainer who then reached out to me and said, Hey, this woman wants to meet you. Her name is Lara Ross, who's one of my great friends to this day, but they had me coming in audition. And I remember the director, Andrea Amandas, who I love to death.

She said, now I just wanna let you know, you have to be yourself when the camera comes on. And she used her hand. She was like, so this is the camera, and you have to try not to act like anything else. And then my head, I'm like, just bitch, no, the fuck I am. Like, and if she and my relationship are very that,

like, you know, she- I don't know, she's very tough actually. She's super tough, but I'm literally her face. Yeah, and of course you are. I know that sounds really fake, but I am. That's perfect tough actually. She's super tough, but I'm literally her face. Yeah, and of course you are. I know that sounds really No way, but I am and she's like she's just wonderful, but I'm so I just remember I was like okay, and in my head. I'm like I've literally taught on every continent almost in different languages like You know, this isn't my first rodeo. I'm saying that in my head. Yeah.

And literally that day, I talked about like maybe 15 minutes, like for them and I walked out of Beachbody with my contract that day. Like there was no like wait. There was no like wait for a while. Are you serious? They gave it to you on the spot. They walked me to the lawyer's office.

What did you do in that audition? So funny story is I call all my dancer friends to my house. Wow. So I was renting a room out of a really good friend of mine's house. And so I called them over. It was like six of them.

And I was like, hey, meet me at my garage at like nine o'clock. And they all came to the garage and I pulled the sliding glass mirrors from my closet in my bedroom and took them downstairs and I put them in the garage. And I made up a routine of like, what were we going to do with this audition. And I walked in there and that's what I did. I just taught a dance and they were just really impressed with my cueing. They were just like, wow, like you cue really well.

Like for, like if I'm doing a move that goes boom, boom, I go up, down, out, take it down, flip around, boom, boom. Cause like my thing is I want people to know what I'm doing before I do it. But that also, you know, I'm also put my personality into it. So it was exactly what I guess Beachbody needed at the time. Well, you had two things. A group, like teaching an actual class day and day out that many,

it gave you the skill set. So that's, you knew what you were doing. Because queuing is super difficult. People don't realize that. And because of the choreography stuff, like you were ready a professional by the time you got to that place. Yeah, I mean, I was a professional dancer. Yeah, like, and, you know, but the queuing the choreography, like being on beat was important. Oh, yeah, the core,

choreography and I had taught, I had taught, you know how to say it takes 10,000 hours to be, I had taught probably, I mean, I started to teach when I was 20, almost 21, and I taught taught probably, I mean, I started teaching when I was 20, almost 21. And I taught, like, I remember teaching 25, 30 classes a week, just in college. So by the time I left college and then, like traveled around the world, I mean, I had, I just was all over the place, you know. Well, you like a fit, okay, so at that time,

it's obviously different when it is now with fitness influencers and all that. place, you know. Well, you like a fit, okay, so at that time, it's obviously different when it is now with fitness influencers and all that, but were you considered a fitness, could you have that equinox class? Were you like a Nike trainer and all those other kind of fitness influencing things before social media at that point? Yeah, it's so funny when people come into media

like, oh my God, you're like a social media influencer and I'm like, oh my gosh, no, I'm not. Yeah, exactly, I'm not. Yeah, exactly. I'm not. But yeah, like fitness back then was very different. And I'm sure, you know, there were all the conventions and like people don't even know about like Calvin Wiley, Patrick Ado, Tony Stone, Angie Bunch, Patricia Marrano, Reston Peace.

You know, there's so many of these incredible people that I, like Patrick and I, that taught queuing that was able to build a class. Every class was an experience. And so from that, then I had to work my way up to be able to teach at one of these conventions. And then just, and I saw, I told it those conventions for a while.

And one day, I was, I would teach and I would still take like six classes a day. And one day I was in a back row of a class. I was just like, cause I like to support people and I always was like, I'm gonna soak up anything that they do. Totally.

And I was in the back of the class and it was a guy from Turkey that was just like, hey, you wanna come to Turkey and help me open up a gym and like create, you know, this like fitness program and personal training also. So you did all this stuff and it was just like, I went to Istanbul and I, you know,

I was like, where am I? I don't speak this language, but the guys are hot. And I'm here for it. That's awesome. You know what I'm on in my 20. I'm 100%. No, she. No, it's amazing.

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Get grilling at Whole Foods Market Terms Apply. Keep coming back! You got plenty of space! Oof, not how you would have done that. You like working with people you can rely on, like USAA, who has helped guide the military community for the past 100 years. USAA, get a quote today. Then who did you come up with?

Was your first program hip hop abs though? Yes, my first program was hip hop abs. Did you do it or did they give it to you? How does it work? Like what's the, like give me the skinny, you know, excuse me upon, on like what happens inside? So you get the job then and what happens? Yes, so get the job and it literally is,

we go into a boardroom with the producers, with Carl Dyclay, who's a CEO, and then we just kind of ideate on what it is that we want to do. At least that's how every experience of mine has been. So they knew that they had just come out with P90X was before insanity. Yeah.

And then the most amazing Shaline Johnson had just come out with Turbo Jam. I remember that too. Right, so she had come out with Turbo Jam. And so really, so what happened was they were like, we want Turbo Jam did so good. It was like rhythmic. It was kind of like, I don't want to say it's like Ty Bobo But it was like the rhythmic boxing for people who don't really understand it and then So they wanted something that was like they felt like movement was really good So and I was really popular for dance right and so we got to go known for it

Yeah, but the way we came up with hip-hop abs was I'm actually gonna shout out Um these people these two women their names are Gillian and T, they had Yoga Booty ballet. I don't know if you remember that part. Of course they do, yes. But they had one workout in Yoga Booty ballet called hip-hop abs. Oh, they do. It was just like one little,

it was just like where we would do like buns in butt or whatever, buns in thighs. It was hip-hop abs. But anyway, the way we came out with hip-hop abs was actually really cool, because I was a hip-hop dancer. Yeah. And one day we were just ideating on choreography in this room.

And so I took off my shirt and, doing it and I was like, oh my gosh, you have really great abs. And I was like, thank you. So I was like, I don't know who said it, but they were like, oh my gosh, what did we focus like, did an ad program? And so I breathed in and I made my belly really big.

And I was like, you know, all you got to do is tilt, tuck, and tighten. Shhh. And it went from my ass. And they were like, holy shit. And because they were like, what do you do for abs? And I was like, I don't do abs. Like at the time, I did not get down on the floor. I literally danced. And they were like, well do you do for abs? And I was like, I don't do abs. Like at the time, I did not get down on the floor.

I literally danced. And they were like, well show us how you move. I was like, well, in hip hop, you know, you gotta stay low. You gotta keep your core tight, you know, all this stuff. And so that's how we came up with hip hop abs. They went from like, hip hot abs to like, hot, hip abs. It was like all these things. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

We're like, okay, we have to use this name because hip hop ads is great. So then that's how we came up with hip-hop ads. And was everyone shocked at the popularity of the, like how about how it became like massive? Yeah, it was a phenomenon at the time. It was huge. I think what was really great about it.

It was, you know, it was just like all the ingredients of a great fitness program came into one. And this is gonna sound really funny, but you have dance, you have low impact, and you have a gay black man. I know that sounds really, really crazy, and I could say it because I'm black. Right, right, right, right. But like, you know, I believe people are probably gonna roll their eyes at this. But I just believe that gay black men and fitness is not intimidating because some people can be intimidated by really super ripped other women.

Hot women for sure. Or like beefy guys. Kind of like I am now. You're super beefy now. But you worry back then. I wasn't back then. Who's the kid out there? Is that his son?

Oh my god, he's so cute. Thank you. That's Dylan. He's the kid out there? Is that your son? Oh my God, he's so cute. Thank you. That's Dylan. He's probably like, well, he's used to this. Oh my God, he is great hair, sorry. Thank you. I love that, yeah, he's delicious. So, I don't even know what I was looking at.

But, so, what was he saying about your hip, you were telling me, not, I'm not Dylan. No, I was gonna say saying about the hip, oh yeah, people, and I don't know if this is like politically incorrect also, but the gay teachers always, who are at the clubs are always the most popular. Like women flock to these classes. And if you're like a pretty girl or like,

it's, you could be intimidating. Like they like the personality that comes with it. I think that if I can like, if I can just even take sexuality out of it for a second, I think what happens is, you know, gay people in general, like we live a life of being suppressed for mostly a quarter or more of our lives. You know, I didn't come out to all this 21.

Most people don't come out to their 18. You know, so you have these people who are suppressed for the youngest years of their lives. And so now you take somebody who actually loves fitness, who loves to dance, who wants to be expressive, and you put them in front of a room, and it's not intimidating. And people are having a good-ass time.

Totally. People do not care about, I don't wanna say they don't care about fitness. Yes, people wanna lose weight, they wanna, but about fitness. Yes, people want to lose weight, they want to, but people, when they, when people find a way to stay motivated, they find a way to stay motivated by having fun and not being overwhelmed or intimidated. And that's why, that's why people don't,

that's why the people who don't go to the gym, don't go to the gym. Well, I'm not fit enough yet to go to the gym. I'm too big or I'm for a lot of women, it's, you know, I need to lose weight for a lot of men. It's just like, well, I'm gonna be intimidated by the guys with muscle. It's insecurity.

You don't feel confident in that way. So you have, you know, you have a gay black man or a chip, cause chip is a really good gay teacher. Oh, you are too. You're not a gay teacher, but he's a bit of a stripper. Oh, are you, where do you teach equinox to? He used to. I've gone a little pause right now.

You are on a little pause right now with the schedule being here. I mean, he was teaching even while working with us for a transform 20 when he had a certification program, but he doesn't know. He's my favorite instructor. But anyway, so not anyway. So just like when you have like a gay guy teaching,

it's just not intimidating, especially for like being in public, you're going into a room. And I really believe like no one talks about that. But I'm like, it's very, very, very true. If you go to fitness conventions, like the gay guys are like, they have like these really popular super fun classes. They also have a cult following. Yeah, they have like these really popular, super fun classes. They also have a cult following. Yeah.

They have a cult following, because they make it fun. I think at the end of the day, no matter what, people want to feel inspired and they want to have fun. They don't want to feel like it's like a chore to do it. But you said something that was interesting. So when you were 20 when you came out, but so how old were you when you did insanity? What was? I What was I was?

I was 2009. So I was 31. I was more than 1978. Was that 31? Almost 31. I was 30. So you are okay. So I remember now, I don't know why.

I remember when people said to me, oh Sean T came out. but that was like a ready, this was like back when we were like, this was like in 2005. Were you keeping it a secret in 2012? Did you remember, do you know what I'm talking about? I do, and it's really funny because I was never in public.

That's the thing. I'm like have you done hip-hop abs? I'm literally like, oh God, no hair. You know, I'm like, I was never in in my public in my professional life. I was never in the fly. I came out of 21 to everybody. So why did people think that?

I'll tell you why. Okay. So one, because you have hip-hop abs where I'm like cutting up and rocking body in my first two programs where they were dance programs. I'm like, I'm at the month, I'm at the club, you know, I'm having a good ass time. But then insanity comes out and it is,

there's no time. And like, in a program where it wasn't live at the time. Like if insanity was a live class, I would have acted crazy because I'm like, cool. But you know, it's a packaged program where people have to come and have to redo the workouts. So I don't tell jokes, I'm like cool, but you know, it's a package program where people have to come and have to redo the workouts. So I don't tell jokes, I'm just like, boom, like we're gonna hit and go.

You're gonna work like, right. And I took on, when I created insanity because I wanted people to feel how I felt at the end of a track practice, which is terrible. And so I feel good at the end, but it's terrible. And I'm like, this is, like I need people to feel this way. So they saw Sean T from insanity,

Sean T from T25, a asylum, like these programs that are. Hard core. Hard core. So then when my husband and I get married and my assistant at the time, tweets, oh my gosh, she put something like, I'm so happy to celebrate this love. Everyone, like the blog's very crazy. And I'm so happy to celebrate this love. Everyone, like the blogs were crazy.

And I'm like, who was in? Oh, right. So everyone just assumed that you were in that. They assumed that I was out. Coming out, but it was just because it just never gave the opportunity to tell people. Yeah, but I'm like, thanks girl. You know, I was fine. Right.

It was really, I'm, I, because I totally remember that. And I'm like, what, I, because I wasn't like keeping tabs completely, but I do remember that, that like in the atmosphere of like a beach body that you came out. Yeah. But it was like just, But can we talk about that for a second? Like why do people even have to come out? I know.

I mean, listen, that's a whole other thing. Like I don't remember, I remember thinking, like I wasn't even thinking if he was in or out or where you were. You were, you were, you were, you were, you were, you were. I'm like, oh, I like his workouts, dude. I wasn't paying attention to that. Right.

But I guess because the conversation wasn't what it was today, like back then, people were much more, well people were afraid of cancel culture today for different reasons. But back then, the cancel culture was much more, there was a stigma, I guess, for whatever reason, back then, about that, or people thought there would be. Yeah, and I literally never gave a fuck.

I know, I can tell knowing you now, like that would, I can't even imagine people thinking that. Yeah, it's so funny. Even just today before coming here, I was looking at Twitter and this is named Bad Bunny, Big Bunny? Bad Bunny. Bad Bunny last night. Big Bunny. I was looking at Twitter and this is named bad bunny big bunny bad bunny Yeah, bunny last night Big bunny. I didn't even notice God. Yeah, I know

No, no, no, no, no, he's like millions and millions of massive. I know. Yeah, massive He um apparently well not apparently there's a video last night on MTV music awards You know he kissed the guy on stage and the world went in an upward like, oh my god. Still? Some people were like, I never listened to his music again. I'm like, really? Hey, kiss you. Yeah. You're the same kiss and you have anything to do with you. You enjoyed his music.

You enjoyed the beat. You enjoyed the lyrics, but just because he wants to kiss a guy. But if it was a girl kissing a girl, you would be like, oh my god, that's hot. Yeah. I'm like, y'all are so played, like get over it. I'm surprised that it would even be in a tweet or anything now because I feel like it's kind of part

of the culture now. And like it's not even like something to even like, like talk about. Actually, hope he did it and he's not by or anything. I hope he, I actually, I'm not care if he's straight or gay or whatever, but part of me, I'm gonna say he was just like, no care of you straight or gay or whatever, but part of me. Yeah, he was just like No, I just wanted to kiss his due because

I like kissing a dude Isn't that called fluid though? Isn't that the word for it? Like fluid. I mean now now I'm gonna sound like an old fuck But like what's like, you know fluid? I think there are so many titles for sexuality Yeah, it is a bit overwhelming. It is a little bit overwhelming. It is. Even as a gay man, like, I don't know the difference between queer and gay or non-binary. Is there a difference?

Non-binary. I don't, I just honestly don't know. And only because I don't know, it's not because I don't want to be educated. It's just because if I meet you, I literally care about you, but I don't care where your title is. Yeah. I'm like, I mean, people all the time. Like, I love when I meet, now that I know,

and I'm educated, when I meet a trans person, or a trans person that's like transitioning, like now I know, and I can put to it, but it is, to me, it's exciting and refreshing and fun, because you get to see these people living, and going after living their true and authentic lives. So for me, I'm like, I do not even care.

Like I'm the same way. I don't care because also I'm attracted to people who are real and authentic, right? So if people are doing them and doing whatever they want, that just makes me more attracted to them. Versus someone like staying in the, like when I say in the closet, I mean like inside themselves and acting out some other person that's not even true to who they are.

Unfortunately though, this is, this happens because, and I was talking about this on social media the other day, but this happens because people have planted unknowingly planted damaged seeds, right? It's most of the reasons why people are afraid to be themselves because they're childhood. Let's just take your parents that you had to be a lawyer.

That's a hundred percent what, yeah. You have to be a doctor or you have to go to school. I know plenty of people who make a hundred, a hundred thousand dollars a year or more that didn't even go to college, right? Yeah. Or, you know, or because of your religion, like people's religion, so they're afraid to live their lives because they're afraid of what the Bible says or what Jesus says.

And listen, I love if people are religion, I love if people are religious, I love if they're spiritual, I'm like, follow it, however you wanna do it, but, and if that's your authenticity and great, but I just, I think other people are afraid to beat themselves because they are living up to the expectations of what these people follow and what these people believe in life.

Of somebody else. Right, and I'm like, why do we have to do that? I think it happens, I think because people are fearful of the criticism and losing those connections. So they live a life that's really pure misery, right? Because that's what happened. And I think you're 100% right. I think people are, most people, live for other people

who basically don't even give a shit. Like other than the day most of those people that you care so much about what they think of you, they're too busy thinking about themselves and they're not even looking and caring about you. Let me ask you a question. I know you're the interviewer. But, no, I want you to go away. As much as we are, we had a good time in my podcast. We have been a good time now. Obviously,

there's lots of excitement of like seeing each other again and when I'm going to show up, when you went to bed last night, we're, let's say three nights ago, you weren't thinking about me. No, I forgot about you. Right. Right. Even though I really like you. Right. Yeah. But if I text you or become across each other's posts or if we become really your friends and yeah, I think about you a little bit more. Right. The reason why I say that is because people who hate on you, they're not thinking about you later.

They literally are spitting out the gossip to their friend. They're posting on social media to make you feel bad to do it for like, to get the clout, but they are going to go, they're going to have their drinks, they're going to be having their party, they're going to go to their church, they're going to be praising him for their own personal upliftment, and they don't give a shit about you, and that's why you shouldn't give a shit about anybody else. And I know there's like a lot, there's like family there, there's like, oh my gosh, my career, there's things that you may be afraid of. But at the end of the day,

you're giving more energy to this than that person could ever give to you. Oh, 100%. I could not agree with you more. The only, so when I think on your podcast, you're asking me like mentors and all these things, I don't even believe in having true mentors because I think everybody is thinking, talking, giving advice based on the myopic view of what they've experienced.

And so it's not indicative of what your life experiences. So if someone is hating on you for your, for the example that you use, why would you be given shit? Because they are not even a part of their daily thought. But I do think the real problem becomes when you're family, because people are not being authentic because their family has a lot of pressure that put a lot of pressure on them. And at the end of the day, I think that people have in their heads

that what the outcome is, like they get so scared, and they build up the fear so much in their brain, it's never gonna become that. Reality is never as bad as you think it is in your head, right? Exactly, and that's the bottom line, I'm sorry. Never that bad. And let's flip the script for a little bit.

Like I am free. It's never that bad. And let's flip the script for a little bit. Like, I am free. Like, we are all, every single one of us in some way are living in our own tunnel. Not that we have tunnel vision, but like in my tunnel, it is colors, there's life, there's sex, there's spirituality, there's gayness, there's, like I have this tunnel,

and I accept everyone for who they are, and I don't care. And people still don't like me because of that. Like, you cannot like me and I could love you because of everything that you're doing because it makes you happy and people still aren't gonna like me. So at the end of the day, you have to be you.

And, you know, my obsession with our solar system in universe, like my absolute obsession with that has made me give even like negative fucks. You know how people say I give zero fucks. Exactly. Now that I know how vast this universe is and how we how much the universe itself in matter dark matter is expanding, I'm like, I hate to say it like this, but we ain't shit. Like, it's insane how we sometimes are going through our lives, being so affected by what everyone else says about us, when even our planet is like not even a drop in a bucket.

I knew it's thing. Yeah. So do you believe that I had this conversation that you believe in vibration and how we can only see what we can see because we're living on a certain vibration? Did you do? And that like there's a whole other alternate universe depending on where your vibration is. Did you get into this with the whole?

I know you're obsessed with all the solar systems. This is a different. Yeah, I've gotten into that. I've gotten into that. But've gotten into, I haven't gotten into that. But I'm seeing a lot talking about, I don't know what it's called. It's like, yeah, like there's two different universes in a way. There's two different ways. They call it the fourth, I think it's called the fourth dimension.

Fourth dimension. I've heard something about it not a lot. I don't get it. I don't understand it though. No, I don't understand it, but I'm here for it. Obviously, if someone wants to explain it to me, I'm totally hoping to listen. But I'm also an empath in a lot of ways

and a lot of people think we're crazy. Like, I read energy, like it's going out of style. Like, people ask me why I'm really good at something just because when I walk in a room, I know that the average energy of what these people need because I focus on the need, not the energy that they're giving me necessarily, but like even like, can you imagine?

If there are five people in this room right now, what we're filming. If any one of us, like if you had a disagreement with anyone in here 10 minutes ago, even if you rectified the situation, that energy is lingering in this room. And you can feel it. I would 100% know.

100% and you could be acting like everything's fine. Right. 100%. And how would you modify your behavior or you just automatically modify that behavior? So what I do, I do it a lot at restaurants. Okay. So if a server is having a bad day,

instead of reacting to that is having a bad day, instead of reacting to that server, having a bad day, I'm going to react to the point where I want to give them a 30% tip. So like, my husband and I, like, he'll look at me, he's like, you know, what do you think? And I'm like, he or she, they ain't having it today. And I'm like, watch this. Because I'm like, I get it. And they start out really like fast, abrupt, you know, a little bit rude, wanting to rush out, maybe they're at the end of their, you know, shit. Yeah.

And then next thing you know, they're like, oh my gosh, can you guys get my table the next time you come here? You know, because I just don't, I, well, I believe, and I do that in fitness. Like if someone's afraid, or if they don't think they can get through it, my class, and my classes, and my life classes are about,

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you. Vitamin water is a registered trademark of Glasso. So then get back to that from the first question. So like before you were shanty got this job at the first question. I know, I know, right? Exactly. What's good though? Okay, so before that, so you know you're teaching at Equinox and you're doing the choreography. Like, give me an example, how did you evolve into this? You said you weren't always so confident, you weren't always so this. So what were you and then how did you kind of create

the person or the persona, more or less, that we know now? Right, well I just, really great question. I peel back the layers. I peel back everything that was holding me back from being who I am. And which was what? Which was a scared little boy.

You know, I've spoken a lot about my sexual abuse, but from the time I was eight to the time I was 12, literally being molested and sexual abuse by, you know, a person that is supposed to be one of my protectors in my life, has, does a really, a great deal of damage to the psyche, you know? Do you remember all that stuff?

Oh, I remember every single time. I remember every, I was like, I don't know why at eight years old, I was like, I don't know why at eight years old. I was like, I have to be very present in this moment to make it through. Like, instead of blocking it out, I was like, I have to be very present. You actually had those thoughts while it's happening. I was like, I need to be very present, very present. I was always afraid to tell anyone, but I was like, I just to be very present, very present. I was always afraid to tell anyone,

but I was like, I just had to be very present. So there would be times where I would hide in my closet. I had this, I had a little my buddy and a light bright toy and I would hide in a closet and I would like, I didn't know why I was hiding in a closet then, but I realized that I didn't want to face what was the reality, because everyone in my house was happy. They were acting so happy and I wasn't.

And the only time I could be happy is like, with my light bright and my buddy, it was like my safe haven. Yeah. But to your point, so I was able to go to therapy from the time I started this commercial fitness journey where I became a household came, if you were well. But at 12, to wait, hold on, go back, go back. I'm all over the place. No, no, I like this commercial fitness journey where I became a household came if you were right.

But at 12 to wait hold on. Oh, I'm all over the place. No, no, I like this. So like by, but at the by 12, thankfully, the, the abuse ended, right? And so, Well, I'm going to tell you if your listeners can, and watchers can go here with me, the abuse ended because I was able to have an orgasm. So this person who was sexually abused me was a true pedophile.

So once I was able to have an ejaculation, but like a peddle wear a sand outfit, that's the best way to say it. He stopped. And so the weird thing that happens in the psyche at that age is like, I've given you all of me all this time. I didn't tell like I protected you from telling and now you want to stop because I get pleasure. This is crazy. So then I felt like, and I didn't notice until later, but I felt like that was my first

heartbreak. You know, like, yeah, because like I had to in some ways trick myself to falling in love with this person. Did you? Oh, yeah. And so the wild thing is like every, so he would come upstairs in the middle of the night and that would be like at 12 o'clock in the morning and that would be like, you know, it would all happen.

So after he stopped, every time he would come up to stairs, it's weird. Like I knew who was coming to the stairs because I know my mom steps and I know I knew his steps. But I would purposely do things to get him to notice me. And it was just like, it just kind of went away. As soon like it that happened, like everything abruptly stopped. And a lot of people are like, you know, they probably think to themselves, but you should be very happy that he no longer did that. And I'm like, you don't understand the psyche of a child at that age. Right. You are, you feel abandoned.

And so they now have not have double abandonment. Because I'm like, at that age, you think my mom should have known this was happening. You know, like you just think your mom should know everything. Yeah. And secondly, the second person who was my stepfather who was supposed to be my protected now also abandoned me. So then that's when I realized that I'm living in a toxic environment and then at 14, I moved out of my house.

So between 12 and 14, what did you do? I was just miserable. And you're, where is your stepfather now, by the way? Well, when, but he held the gun to my mom's head when I was in college. So they finally broke up and now he's dead. He's dead from like, and how was your relationship with your mom?

My relationship, my mom was fantastic. It would take time. Yeah, I went to a lot of therapy. There was times where, you know, I was like angry with her, but like almost, it's weird, because it was like, there's anger with her, but for no reason, but also, so there was a stint in time

where I used to talk to my mom every day. We were like best friends, it was like boom, boom, boom, boom, but then when I started going to therapy and I started being able to my mom every day. We were like best friends. It was like boom, boom, boom, boom. But then when I started going to therapy and I started being able to release these things and like things that, you know, while I was very present, there were still things that needed to be uncovered, right? Yeah, there was a point in time

where I had to keep my distance for sure. What would she say? Like how did she not know, or did she know and just suppress it? She did not know. How? That's, you were asked in the same question that the eight, nine, 10, 11, 12 year old Shawnee,

that's what they call me, would ask. Here's the thing. So he would come upstairs, he would go to the bathroom, you know, close the door and like they so his whole, I don't want to say schedule, but the process for him was I would hear him pull up in a driveway because he was alcoholic. So we come home drunk. He would go in a house, my mother and his bedroom was right underneath my bedroom. He was starting

arguing with her so that there was a reason for them to separate. Right. I'm going upstairs. He would come upstairs, go into bathroom. He would turn on the bathroom, light, close the door. So now she thinks like, oh, he's mad. We only have one bathroom in it. It happened to be upstairs. He's mad. He's upstairs. He's in the bathroom when really... He was with you. Yeah. So she didn't know. And was it like once a week? Or like once a month? No, it was way more often than that.

For four years. Yeah. And your attitude or personality didn't change where she was like suspicious of something? No, no. The only times where there were lulls in it is when two of my mom's sisters and their kids came to live with us.

So for me, that was amazing. Like I had these people to bury your meat from it. Buffer, yeah. Buffer. But no, because I think that we were so miserable. Like it was such a miserable time. That there's, you know, like, but I was a kid, you know, like once I was outside, once I was with my friends,

once I was at school, I think the only thing that may have given her a hint which she never spoke about was, I mean, I was really smart. I am, I mean, I did really good in school. You know, but there would be, I mean, of course, I did, like you said earlier, I mean, I'm just good a lot. Exceptional, everything. But there would be, you know, there would be times where I wouldn't get your grades and

she would be like, what's going on? Yeah. And then the next Mark in period, I would turn around, I would get on the honor roll, you know, because I would just be like, okay, I gotta do this, cause I don't wanna get in trouble. I don't wanna get, cause if we got bad grades,

so I would like get straight A's or like A's and B's and then one marketing period when I, it's probably at a time where I was like going through it a lot. Yeah. Then I would just kind of like, you know, then like there was a small stint in school where I got, there was a small stint in school where I got,

there was a small stint where I got teased. This thing doesn't stop. There you go. There was a small stint where I got teased, you know, for being gay, I put it into that real quick because I definitely wasn't the one. But, you know, so it was a lot going on with my internal self as well as, you know,

just, you know, navigating my way through childhood in general. Do you have a lot of friends? Like, were you very popular? Because it seems like you were an, like, very athletic, obviously, and very smart. You're like a fairest viewer. You're going on. No, thanks.

I, so in elementary school, this is going to sound really crazy. I was first to be chosen in kickball, right? And like any sport in gym class or, you know, at recess. But I didn't have a lot of friends, you know, and I think partly it was cool. Yeah, like it was, I think partly it was because, you know, I was a gay kid, so there's always like,

even if you're not like a feminine gay kid or like a flamboyant gay kid, you still know you're different. So you knew back then. Oh, oh yeah. At eight years old. I knew before I was eight. What, how old were you when you knew you sing?

This is gonna sound funny, but like prior to same age, you knew. Like you just, it was just kind of in part of your, you know, yeah. And I think that like, I think to answer that question and to help a lot of people understand who don't understand gay or how somebody quote unquote becomes gay, which is weird for gay people to say, how do we become the same way as you? It's almost like.

That's a great thing that you said, though, by the way, because no one's ever positioned it like that. Well, same as you. Like people don't think about it. Like I know the same time you know. Right. But here's to solidify that if you and I were the same age, and let's say we're six years old, and our parents or older people are saying like,

our parents or our older people are saying like, Oh my gosh, Jen, that boy is really cute, isn't he? That doesn't make you feel uncomfortable. You're like, yeah, he is cute. If they're like, shawnt, isn't that little girl cute? I'm like, no bitch, I want the boy to gin has. It's like what the fuck you talkin' about. You know what I mean? So I'm like,

he's cute, it's fun. Yeah. talking about, you know what shit when kids are like, one, they're like, I hear parents say like, oh yeah, when he gets around the girls, like he get, I'm like, he's one. Yeah. You talking about. So, so true. So then, you know, so now you're six.

And you think the little boy sitting next to you is cute, but when you go home, not my mom is, not mom's not doing this, but this is go home, not my mom is not doing this, but this is an example. Your mom is like, yeah, he has this little girlfriend that comes over and you know, they, you know, this is little girlfriend. I'm like, no, he's hanging out with the girl

cause he wanna be with the girls. Like, you know, like, totally, that's so true. So like, people, so I always am like, you know, watch what you say and how you say things around children. Like I will talk about one of my kids, you know, so I have two sons, they're the same age, born at the same time, they're twins.

One of them, his wall, is full of female superheroes. The other one, his wall, is full of female superheroes. The other one, as well, is full of male superheroes. One of the, the one who has a female superheroes, his closet of costumes has 85% female costumes. The other one has all male costumes, right? We've never told Sander, no, if he wants to be, he designed his own she-Hulk outfit, he got the green wig, I'm like, word bitch,

I'm like, I wanna dress up too. And Silas is like, no, I wanna be Captain America. But the year before Silas wanted to be a witch with a dress, you know? And Sander wanted to be a skeleton. And so I say all that to say, we have never been like, nope, you can't wear that. And we I say all that to say like we have never been like no you can't wear that. We've never called things the girl outfit or the boy outfit the only time it's ever

happened is when he said I want to create um Emma Frost costume. He's like can we go on Emma on Emma Frost. I forget. I think she's like somebody. I don't know. Okay. Okay. I should be behind this. Parents are probably mad. Y'all probably know Emma Frost is. I kind of do but I don't. But I kind of don't need that. There was a first time he got this really dope outfit. He picked it off of Amazon. It's like a pants outfit with a suit jacket.

But it was all like glittery and like, you know, rhinestones and whatever. And it was the first time he sit, because I'm like, that's not the dress she's wearing. Like I'm thinking he's going to be lit, you know? And he's I'm like, that's not the dress she's wearing. Like, I'm thinking he's gonna be lit, you know? And he's like, no, that's the girl one. And so I was able to, I actually asked him. I was like, so, why do you like that costume?

I didn't say like, why do you like the female costume? I'm like, why do you like that costume? He's like, Papa, because like, there's so much better than those costumes. They're like, they have colors like he is like, he's like obsessed with the costume itself. So even a male superhero costumes he has, I look at them and I'm like,

oh, so chips, boyfriend, one day wants to, that get a sewing machine and help Santa make like whatever costume he wants. The reason why I tell that story is, I know, I like that. Because I know how it feels, I don't know if he's gay. I don't care. It's not about that. It's even about the fact of just them to be able

to be expressive because he might like the female costumes because I asked him, he's like, I want to design superhero costumes when I get older. It could just be his design mind. And if I were to say, well, you can't wear that because that's a girl's costume, or that's a girl's costume, Sandra, are you sure you wanna wear that?

Right. Not only would it hinder whatever he is, but it's gonna hinder his creativity. Totally. You know. The words that you speak matter, and at that age, so impressed, like so impressionable, that then they're going to feel that they're doing something wrong

and then they're going to just like suppress anything that's real. Exactly. So, you're, that's amazing that you, yeah. I'm like, you know, even our kids, like, I don't say things to them like, because I said so, like if they're like, why can't I do it? Yeah. I don't say because I said so I give them a detail a Detail response as to why they can't do something

You're gonna hurt yourself because this thing is made of this material that could hurt you right because I want them to continue to ask me questions Because that's how they know I purposely use big words with them and they always like what's that? But what does that word mean? I'm like, yes, I said a word, they don't know. You know, I'll take it. Totally. So back to all of that. You know, so like, it was just like a really rough childhood for me

and my mindset, but yeah, so. No, that's, it's like, I love how you end it with, yeah, so that was really rough. That's like, that shaped probably, like the entire, well, not probably your entire history. The entire history of life. For the trajectory of your life. Like, you could have gone to one of two ways, right?

You could have become a victim, and your life could have went a whole different, like sliding doors, could have taken a whole different, you know, route, and then you chose to do this like positivity, belief in yourself and living like such a phenomenal life now. Yes, statistics say and show that I should be in jail. I mean, especially the amount of time that that was happening. It wasn't like, it's never good,

but like you're saying it was like consistent for four years. In your, in like times of like, you can remember shit, not like when you're three. Yeah, and you know, it's really interesting. I've had many, excuse me, what was that? Are you okay? Do you want some water? No, no, it's just, I don't know a lot, but I'm fine. I have some, but it's really interesting that men, heterosexual men, have come up to me

and dead, secretism, like they got super close to me, and they just are like on the street. They're like, you know, I saw this post, you put on TikTok, TikTok, and that's happened to me before, and I didn't remember until you put that post up. And so, you know, I'm immediately like, you know, sorry to happen me you too, what are you gonna do about it?

Like, I actually had someone who helps me out a lot, I actually say that to me. And it just like completely changed the trajectory of their life, because now they know a lot of why they were the way they were. And, but a lot of people, like I said earlier, they plant those seeds that they don't even know that they're planting, and it comes out

in other ways in their life. So, how did I become Sean T from Sean T? Yeah, like how did that allow you, especially if you said you have double abandonment, that's double abandonment. Before you even tell me that, you said to me also, it was very interesting that it became like, you became like in love with this guy.

What was the, do you remember when that transition happened, when you went from like being repulsed by him to then like what like waiting for him to come see you? Yeah, when he stopped. Like that was like, but like when he stopped, but not before that. Not before. Before I was, before I was just taking one for the team,

because I always had this fear that if I told my mom, he would end up killing my mom, my brother, and myself. Like I really thought. Didn't he ever tell you that though or no? He never threatened any of it. No, but he was just, and he was an alcoholic, and he was like really mean, you know? And one of my first memories of him,

cause he's not my biological father, one of my first memories of him is him fighting a guy on a porch outside, getting bloody, coming in, cleaning us off, going back out and fighting this guy. And I'm sitting on the couch looking at this. So from time of seeing that when I was like, what three years old, from the time seeing that, from three years old to then that happened to me,

this guy is like a superhero. Right, you know what I mean? So there's like so much fear involved, so there's fear. And so like, you know, I don't know if my mother or my brother, I should probably let them listen to this and then we'll have a lot of conversation about it. But I don't know if they understood or understand how much me not telling was to protect them.

Not that they need to do anything about it. But I know for a fact that my brother is, probably still is very much affected because he's my older brother. And you know, he always had that older brother like to take my younger brother and he's in the next room and doesn't know that's happening. So nothing ever happened to him?

My brother, no, no. Only you. See, people have to understand that molester sexual abusers when it comes to children, they are somewhat, and I hate to put this in the empath community, when a predator is going after a child. Right.

They a lot of times know what child to pick. So if you look at me and my brother, if you compare us to in this kind of way, my brother was ran bunches loud, almost like bad, but not bad, like he was just wild, wild and just blurted stuff out. Like, you know, he would come downstairs and be like, you know, he touched me last night.

You know what I mean? Where somebody like me, I was more timid. I was more like, oh my gosh, I don't know if I should, like I should be sensitive. Yeah, and they know, they know that kind of child. And that's why I try not to overdo it, but I say to my kids all the time, I'm like, you know, even with their nannies,

I'm like, are you happy? Were they nice to you today? You know, like a couple of years ago, or a year and a half ago, we had to put cream on one of my kids' bottoms and you know, he would win when it happened. And we right away asked him, it's okay to someone touch you there

that made you uncomfortable. He's like, no, he's like, it's just weird. You know, it's cool. So I'm like, okay. So, but we didn't have those kind of conversations. Like no one was, like you said, no one knew, but no one checked in. No one checked in, that's the thing, right?

So that's what's amazing to me, especially now, it could always be people that are literally closest to you. Like the guy lived with you for crying out loud. Like, so then how did you take that time and then trends, like not let it take you down a bad plat path and take you to this, or did you have a bad face? Yeah, it's not a bad path internally. But thank God for...

Did you get into fitness, then that's what happened? Thingots for sports and fitness and dance. And I mean, they like fitness completely changed my life because actually at one point, I was on Zoolof, which is a depression medication. And at what age 12, like when this was happening? Actually, at one point, I was on Zoolof, which is a depression medication. And- At what age 12, when this was happening? 20, no, this is after, like after I came out.

Yeah, oh, right, 21. Yeah. Why, after you came out, you went on it? Well, I was in a really, well, once I came out, it was almost like, it was the first layer to be peeled back. You know, like, I'm suppressing all this stuff, the fact that I'm gay, the fact I was molested and anything else, you know. And now I'm like, oh, I came out.

Well, that feels really good. And I also, the night I came out, told my mom about my molestation. So that feels really good. So now everything is, it's like a volcano is a rough thing. So I'm in a relationship. I get my first gay relationship with a person that's very similar to my abuser who was alcoholic. Really?

So then I'm there. So then I'm like peeling more stuff back. And so what happened is I just was, I thought I was depressed. When really I was in a bad relationship because I would go to fitness, I would go teach class. And I'm like, there's no way I can feel this amazing right now. And then when I get home, I'm miserable. Right? So then once that relationship ended and, you know, we're going to fitness, then

I eventually went to therapy and that completely changed my life. Wow. So you only started a therapy like after you came out. I started therapy because I had a hard time accepting love from my now husband. Well, see, okay, so how have you been with your husband, Scott? 12 years. 12 years. So, okay, there's a big gap, though. So between 12 and 21, you had this one boy, only this one guy. Well, the boyfriend I didn't have until, like, at the end of college, I didn't have a boyfriend in high school.

I was just fast. It was just, I was fast with the girl, the little boy. Look, you know, some gay guys have never been with a female. Yeah, you were? Other, oh, other guys are like, I'm gonna make sure this is right.

And you're able to do it and everything? Well, I mean, when I'm headed out, whatever you need to edit out, in my opinion, when your hormones are reaching as a teenager, anything that touches you anywhere, it doesn't matter. It doesn't matter until you experience the other stuff, the other stuff, then you're like, oh, shit, the emotion behind that is different. I mean, maybe you know, I'm part of that. Oh shit the emotion behind that is different For girl god, I don't know what you are, but I mean you have the same parts as me so you get it Oh my god, you're so great. I love it. So then basically then you're just all over the place with the women and not what I was in the back of the the supermarket at night and the

Jeep like I was doing the absolute mo it didn't matter it didn't matter so then so what the then you went to therapy and that's when you got more in touch with whatever therapy completely changed my life but you had it feels like you had comp like it feels like you were still in your teams confident you were teaching these like it feels like you were still in your team's confident, you were teaching these classes, you were like playing sports. Oh, so there's a part of the story.

There's a part of the story that I didn't save. So when I was 14, I moved out of my house, I actually found a way to move in with my grandparents. How? I just was like, and it was hard, I feel bad now, even though this is not gonna to sound bad to you, but I remember my grandmother pulling up to my house one day. She always drive by.

She would never come inside. I'm like, girl, I wouldn't come inside either. But she would pull up. And it was a summer before my freshman year in high school. And I was like, my mom, do you mind if I come live with you and pop up? You know, you guys are getting older. You need help around the house. And I don't think she knew that's why I didn't.

I think she knew that was a lie. Oh, yes. She probably was just like, because I was her favorite. But I think she was just kind of like, oh my gosh, like, you know. And so my grandfather's a pastor. They were like, she was the first lady of the church.

So the night I moved into their house, the first night I went to sleep, or I went to bed. And before I turned on my lights, I just started crying, like so loud, so hard. Like I felt like I escaped. You know, and then they ran into my room and you know, they just prayed over me. You know, that's why I love people who are religious. I'm not religious like that anymore, but I could quote the Bible like the rest, but I'm very spiritual. Yeah.

And so my grandfather just prayed over me. And it was literally, people say, I was born again because they accepted Jesus Christ as a personal savior. For me, that was my born again phase. And from there, I completely changed. And I was at 14 years old. So then I started to build confidence.

I think there's really great things about religion, like I would be in church, three to four times a week. And while I don't believe in everything the Bible says, I do believe that when two and three people are gathered together, like really great things can happen. I believe that prayer is like meditation, not necessarily like this man answering your prayers. I feel like, you know, you're attracting that

by speaking that and what you put out in a universe, not like the secret, but the energy you put out. Like if I came in here and I was boring, or if I was giving you bad vibes, I'm not gonna get great vibes from you, we vibe because we're giving each other positive. So, going through that in high school and having that foundation of just support,

completely changing my life. To the point where I went from like being a kid in elementary school, that was like, I wasn't like a reclusive kid, but I was definitely not, you know, out there wanting to be in the forefront, to be in high school, to be in like the president of my class, to be in a captain of like the- You were all these things?

I was all these things, child, you know. Of course you were. So you were the captain of the what? I was a captain of the track team. I was the president of the erase club, which is End Racism and Sexism everywhere. I was a captain of the drill team. I was vice president in my class. And then we get these senior superlatives. You know, it's like people vote for like most popular,

most school spirited class leaders. So I got, I won all three of those, most popular, most school spirited and class leader. And my, one of our teachers was like Sean, shoes class leader. She was like, you're gonna be so, they're gonna look back in your book and you're gonna be really happy about choosing leader. I'm like, you're gonna be so, they're gonna look back in your yearbook, and you're gonna be really happy about choosing leader.

I'm like, no, I'm gonna be the most popular. I'm choosing most popular. And then like a couple of years ago, I was looking at this like yearbook website, and I saw my yearbook, I'm like, fuck, like she was right. Right. I'm like, who gives a shit if you're the most popular? Ah, to that.

But he still chose me as class leader, so I just take that. And also, it kind of still worked out for you in a lot of ways, even though you did a pick that one. But I think I want people to understand, like, for me, again, it goes back to like being pretty much trapped as a child. And you're like, in most popular wasn't about people liking me, it was about me liking me. It was about me feeling the freedom. It was about me being able to truly live my life. And so, you know, I think I said this together when we were on the podcast and maybe not on mine, but like

everybody's in the closet about something. Everybody, you don't know, there's something about people where there's something they search online, where there's a secret that they had whether it's something that they said to somebody that they really don't want to Everybody's in a closet about something if people could just understand that they would be way more forgiving Yeah, compassion. I think lots of compassion. I know that's the thing people don't realize everyone There's I'm hiding something right now. I'm you know, I mean everyone is right everybody is like there's something about me that Nobody would know would ever would freak. I mean, I'm hiding something right now. I mean, everyone is, right? Like there's something about me that nobody would know, would ever would freak out. I mean, I think that's very true to anybody and anybody who pretends that's not the case

is when we get into trouble. Yeah. Like we have. So then, how did you then, what would, wait, so in this first tranche of therapy, what did you learn about yourself? The first therapy was a great therapist. Okay.

So I was just able to talk. It was my first time being able to be free to talk through everything without being judged. My second therapist, I went to him for like three or four years, then my second therapist, I took a break and then my second therapist because I had a hard time accepting love from the person I love the most.

That was the most impactful at that time. How did you guys meet by the way? Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha. They have these hook ups, they're apps now. Is it called Grindr? Well, we didn't have Grindr. We had manhunt.net back then, honey. Oh, really?

Didn't have Grindr back then? How long has Grindr been around? I don't know. Grindr had been around that long, but manhunt was the worm chow. What really? Man, you know. Man hud.

So if I told you out there that me and Scott met at the gym, it was the gym. We were rumping around, but in another way, get into it. Really? So what does man have? Tell me. Watching the show.

I want to know about man. I mean, all the clips. Yeah. Do you edit? Yes. Every good clip, please send it to me. I swear to God. I put it up as real You better listen to you know this is amazing. Okay, so I want to know about I want to know about man Now now we're getting to the good part Oh, man is the shit so is it still around? I don't know child neither going that why is everyone laughing so hard?

Why is it so funny? Why is everyone laughing so hard? Why is it so funny? Charlie, what's up? Charlie, you're trying to be the peanut galley. You're stretching for something. Why are you guys all laughing over here? So, Meja is, so you know, I'm just gonna keep it real. The Gaze, the China Act, like it's a dating website. I'm like, no child, it's a Nintendo, or like, Bumble.

This is, you know, you go, you were going to a site. Yeah, for a session. Yeah. Isn't that what all the sites are? Isn't that what Grindr is? I mean, yeah, but Grindr wasn't, I'm just saying, there wasn't an app like you had to do it. Wait, so the same as what Grindr would be saying.

It's the same as Grindr and Spruff, yeah. It's the same. What's that one? That's another one. Is that a popular one? I mean, chip? I mean chip I mean, I'm not you know, I'm not the PR for them, but I mean I guess it does the trick Maybe you should be it does the trick for a lot of people honey. What's the

Is it more popular than grinder now? No grinder is the most pop. You should go to Grindr, like Instagram, like Grindr on Instagram. It's hilarious. Is it? Yeah. I know that the founder was, my husband knew the founder

for a long time, because he was in like a group that my husband's in. And I remember, I mean, he was like a young guy when he started. Do you know that have you met the guy? That's not right. No, but I love, but if you're out there with his name, I can't remember it was like a cut Can I interview you my Absolutely, I'm gonna find out for you let remind me send me a text or whatever or d.n. Whatever. Okay, let me ask my husband But I was gonna put them on my podcast too

I'm gonna go out to interview him. He was so I mean he was like yeah, I'll find out I don't know if he's in the group anymore. I'll find out Okay, I'm sure there's a way to find them. Oh, yeah, it's super easy to find okay So manhunt so you're on manhunt. It's a hook up blah blah blah and then you see this guy Scott yeah, and then what happened actually I just saw his I was back on Come on, I'm trying to entertain y'all. Yeah exactly get off manhunt What we grinding now exactly or scrub

But um, so No, I mean actually I saw his torso because he wasn't showing his face And you still you still yeah, it was a nice torso. Is that really what happens on these sites and grinders? Like, if you just show bodies shots or like... I mean, a lot of people show face, like if they don't care, you know, but some people don't want their face. Just based on a torso you respond, yeah.

He's like, he found his book. Okay. And then we just kind of like started chatting. I don't know if he messes me or vice versa. But I mean, you know, at the end of the day, even if you don't see somebody's like full body, if you have like, oh, like there's something attractive, like about them, you start chatting.

Yeah, you start chatting. And then if you start chatting in a way that's not just like, let's meet five minutes from now. And like he and I have been chatting for a couple of weeks, just like, it came, it went from like, oh my gosh, your body's hot. And then you could share pictures in the back office, what I like to call it.

Really? So you could share all kinds of pictures. So with your face on the app though, they know. You know, I was Sean, you know, I was Sean's from hip hop app, you wasn't knowing me. I was gonna say, so what were you showing your calf? I was showing everything. So you both had your torso.

Yeah, yeah. Torsal love. Yeah. Anyway, so we'd be at a conversation and we ended up meeting. So I mean, we ended up meeting like, in the gym. I mean, it was, well, it was a date,

but it was a date. The first date was a date, like a date. No, the first date was a shut down session, honey. That's what I'm saying. I don't know how to say it otherwise. Okay, so what happened really in the gym? No, no, no, no, I mean, I told you I'd be lying to people. I don't tell them I'm like, we met on the street corner. No, you did not.

I said, where you want to meet? Let's check this out. And that's what really happened. You just hooked up with him and then you got married. Yes. It was not good. Honestly, the real love story is actually I met him on the corner. I saw him sitting on the ledge of the CVS windowsill, you know?

Yeah, yeah, yeah. And he walked over to me and I was like, oh my God. Like I was like, I can't. And we started walking and I was like literally like we started walking and talking literally within seconds. I was like, I'm literally going to be with this person for the rest of my life. And I found out like two or three months later, two months later, he said the same thing to himself. Like we just knew. So then what was the problem that you couldn't accept love from him?

Okay. So this chemistry was like undeniably. Yeah. So we moved in together. We were likeiable. Yeah, so we had moved in together. We were like, you know, we had been. Oh, you did. Yeah, yeah. Okay. But I just had a lot of emotional issues and it was really based around love and trust.

And so what would happen is it would be weird. Like multiple nights a week, at like two o'clock in the morning, I would wake up, I would have these really crazy dreams. I would literally wake up, like sometimes screaming or cursing somebody out. And then he would try to help me and we would be in a living room and then I would start blaming him. Like it was wild.

It's a very hard thing to talk about. And he was like super patient and so kind as I was going through this. Like, you know, and it was really bad. Like most people would have been like, I mean, it didn't happen during a day. Like we didn't like fight like that during a day, but it would always happen at night. It was terrible. Like, these dreams were happening. These dreams were happening, and I would wake up. And then one day I couldn't go to therapy.

Like, she couldn't bring me in to talk. So she was like, hey, I have 50 minutes. Can you call me? And she was like, you know, tell me what's going on. I was like, you know, every so often, every couple nights a week, I would wake up. And she was like, you know, and so often, every couple nights a week, I would wake up. And she was like, you know, and I was like two o'clock, like around two o'clock in the morning, like this crazy shit would happen. And she was like, but what happened at two o'clock in the morning?

And I was like, oh my god, that was a time where I would be getting my lesson. It's exactly the same time. It was exactly the same time. I'm getting chills because it was crazy. And that's why I like to tell people like you do not understand that the things that happen to you that affected you long ago that you suppressed come out in other ways like anything is super traumatic. You need to get help. You need to talk through it. It is a need. It is not a one. It is a necessity for you to have, you know, really great mental health. And I just remember going to him and just like, apologizing. And that was a start of me, like, getting better. I actually started writing my book before

that. And when I went to therapy, I was like, I can't write a book right now because, like, I don't have these answers, you know. And then after I finished therapy with that woman, who's amazing, I call her Babs. Then I was like, you know, I finished therapy in a couple years after just like utilizing all the things that I learned, I felt just like so great. Wow, so that was your second, was he your second relationship after that one?

He was my third relationship. Fourth. Oh, but why do you think it happened? Sorry that those dreams started then. And because I really liked him. Oh, I loved him. I loved him. I mean, I love him. Still the same. More the same. Like I love him. Like he is so wonderful. Oh, my God. You can see it in your eyes.

Like he's really, really wonderful. Like what's the one thing that you really love about him? That's hard to say one thing. I think generally, that draws you to him. Like his silence is so profound. Like he's really fun and festive if you meet him, but generally like he will disappear

from a room. And I noticed that when he disappears, like I get super, I get super lonely. Like when I left him yesterday at the airport, my kids like, my friend, I saw a friend and I hadn't seen the wall. And today he texted me, he said, I think something was bothering you yesterday, but I'm sorry, I didn't ask after you asked me how I was doing. I was like, I just left Scott. Like, whenever I leave the house, if I'm going on a trip, like, we'll text each other like 10 minutes later, he's like, my heart still aches, will you leave? But like, I noticed this fucking terrible. That is unbelievably beautiful. You don't even hear that very often. Yeah, he's like really great.

You can see, look at you. I'm gonna cry because you're saying it. You're like so emotional just talking about it. It's really crazy. Like I really love him. It's like, like he, I think it's like, I almost say like it's unfair that people don't, like some people don't get to experience this kind of love, you know? And it's not even love.

It's just like, I like the entire, I mean, don't get it twisted. Like we have our arguments, you know? We have to go through shit, you know, never anything bad. But we definitely like are growing and we talk about things, but we don't have secrets and we have to talk about stuff. We make it pack like you cannot not talk about something that's bothering you and it doesn't matter where we are. Like, we're going to like, we're going to figure this to fuck out because it's just like what we do and who we are. Right, and he's the most important person in your life.

The most important, like, you know, I understand that kids are great, but like when my kids get old enough, they're gonna be like, well, you know, we should be the most important. I'm like, no, your dad is the most important. Cause without him, you like, we don't have this kind of happiness, you know.

There's a whole thing in a Jewish religion law about that, because kids will grow up and they go on the road, well, they go out in the merry way, and they always say that the other person should be the most important person. And the kids should know that too. Our kids, they know it. They are like, it's really great, too, that they know it.

That's the whole thing. It shows them models for them. Scott and I will give each other a kiss or whatever, so at night, Sideless will be like, well, can I get a smooch? And I'm like, I'll smooch you, but it's not the kind of smooch that I could dab at.

He's like, well, I just want to see you. Oh, my God. It sounds like you're such a nice family unit, though. It is. I mean, we really, it is really, really great. And the thing that's like really great about our relationship is that we let each other grow. Yeah.

We don't, we're not like, oh, we're together. So we have to like live in this. We're the same people that, who we are when we met, but we're enhanced versions of ourselves. And if he wants to experience something, go somewhere, try something new. We never, we don't tell each other no. I'm like, absolutely.

Yeah, go for it. Yeah, I do the same thing. I think that's what, that's probably the biggest reason why so many relationships fail. Yeah. It's because people like try to hold that, you know, like the bird in the hand, you know, you can hold it so close, you kill the bird.

Yeah. I'm like, if you squeeze too hard, that's a really good point though too. Hey folks, it's Michael Berry and the flooring in your home sets the tone for that room. Is it a formal room or an informal room? Is it a daytime or an evening room? What's your budget? How much wear and tear is going to come through that room? What's the feel? What's the vibe? The good news is you don't have to know in advance. Patrick

Florida and his design team at their two design locations in Cyprus and the Woodlands or your living room can help you make all those decisions and give you a lifetime warranty. 281370 8022. So then still, how did you become this? So is through your life experience that you kind of just became this human being? Yeah, I think that like the evolution of who I am from the aspect of being a young kid to my workouts, till now is my ability to continue to find freedom within. Yeah, and you're still on this quest, right? is my ability to continue to find freedom within.

Yeah, and you're still on this quest, right? Like I went your in therapy again, but like I feel like we cut a test upon on the podcast with yours, is that, you know, you're kind of like, I'm Joe, I was joking around about like how you're good at everything, but quite frankly, you are good at a lot of things or you have interests in a lot of things. Like a lot of people do. I think it's, I think you know, it's funny you say that because I'm like, no, it are good at a lot of things or you have interests in a lot of things. Like a lot of people do.

I think it's, I think, you know, it's funny, you say that because I'm like, no, it'll say I'm good at everything. But I think you just made a very valid point. If I'm interested in it and I have the ability to try it, I try. You try it. And I think that if you sometimes take professional athletes

or actors or when, you know, I even look at social media and everyone's like what's your niche. I'm like that's really great. Like it's really awesome that you're a great athlete or you're a great social media influencer or you're a great artist but like that's not the depth of who you are. That's just what people know you to be really good at and it could only be one thing of 20. Right. And so like me, one of the things that I had to learn and it's kind of tough with social media, like, yes, I'm really great fitness motivator, right? I wrote a book, I can speak, I have a podcast,

but I love shaking my ass. I love taking new photos because bitch, listen, I'm buying this fuck at 44. You know, and I don't think you don't need to think I'm fine. But if you think you are, if you can't look in the mirror every step of your journey, I mean, I didn't always have the body that I have, but I'm, you know, I'm like, well, the only way you gonna get the body that you want is to love the body that you're in. So like for me, I just continue to find that as, and I want that

for everybody else. So how do you tell people to kind of get that for themselves? What's the step to even do it? If you don't have that intuitively or you're in a place where you don't feel great about yourself. I think that like one of the things that you can do is make a list of all the things that you want to do and how many many of those things are you going after? And other things that you're not going after,

why aren't you going after them? And the reason why you're not going after them is because of some kind of barrier that you put on yourself or someone else put on you. And the most, and most of the time, the barrier is time. And I believe that people say say I don't have time, but I can say where you have time to do social media, you take time to do this,

start taking time to do that one thing that you really just want to try and do. Like, you know, like just go for it. I get you. And so let's turn it to you because last time I talked to you, you're like, you're throwing a lot of stuff at the wall, right? But do you take your own advice? Because what happens a lot of times is people could compartmentalize you as the fitness shanty,

like, you know, because like if I didn't know what I know, I'd be like, he's amazing in fitness. He's the fitness guy. But now it's like, wait, if you dispivoted a little bit this way at 22, you could have done this, you could have done that. You could have had probably 12 other careers if you just like were interested in it and like tried it, like you say, right? You were interested and then you tried it and then it kind of takes it from there.

So do you wanna have like a phase two of your career? Like what's the next thing? Are you gonna dive deep into the galaxy stuff or something like what else are your, what else are you passionate about? If it's not fitness. Well, I think that fitness is always gonna be a part of my life.

For sure. Just because of calories and calories out, but just because it makes you feel really good. Right. But like right now, I'm on a quest to help men release their selves from having to be a man. I think one of the messages and types of messages that I get so much is from guys

who are hiding something about their lives and they just don't have anywhere to go to or like because of religion or because of men having to be strong. They find weakness in emotion. They find weakness in expression. And so like you said, though noodles up against the wall, like what am I doing? So right now I am on a quest to create retreats for men to go to and I have a whole plan that I'm doing, but I just want men to start to feel free. As a 44 year old man, I found myself,

I didn't have ED issues, like a reptile dysfunction, but the stress of becoming a man, the stress of becoming a dad, the stress of becoming a man Distress of becoming a dad the stress of becoming a business owner would affect me in so many ways and so then I had to like Seek out hormone therapy. I had to I went back to therapy. Are you on hormone therapies? That was just so big I'm on hormone therapy my testosterone was like unbelievably low my my stress was unbelievably hot. My estrogen was really hot. I was 18% body fat in January and nobody would have guessed it because of the way I looked fine, but I was just carrying a lot of stress. And I was carrying a lot of stress because I was like, well, I don't want to burden anyone else. I don't want to you know, I'm I'm the quote unquote leader until I just started like Telling people like yo like this is how I feel I got surgery. I found peace and doing nothing

You know and so how How to find peace and doing nothing? Yeah, because doing nothing by doing it it. Because what I said before. Interested you try it. Yeah, but like I said before, as a high achiever, doing nothing is laziness to me. When nothingness and laziness, end quotes, completely changed the course of my life. It did. Yeah, because I was able to listen and hear myself think.

So because you just said something that I think a lot, I can really relate to. Like when I'm not doing something, I do feel like unproductive. I feel lazy. I beat myself up. And you feel that when you stop to do that, it changed. I think that life is very similar to sleep. Right? Like my friend Sean Stevenson wrote a book, Sleep Smarter, right? When you sleep, your body heals. I think it's the same thing when you're awake. When you rest your body and just chill for a minute, your body heals.

And for me, my mind was able to, I felt such freedom. Like it was so wild to the point where I just started getting happy by not, by doing nothing, whereas before it was stressed me to hell out, but because my shoulder... Before you, you had to do nothing. So you had a catalyst. Yeah, and then I went and I got a trainer. I had this woman who trains me every three days a week, four days a week, who is like amazing.

Like she's just the most incredible person trainer for me. Like she is, I think I tell, I tell all the time, I think your parents made you for me. You know, I say that, I get massages, I do a lot of self-care, I give everyone in my company each quarter, they get to self-care days, like to mental health days, what I actually call them.

I'm like, extend your weekend. It is mandatory for you to take four days to be with and for yourself because, and don't do it when you get stressed, do it when you're happy because then you can think clear. And you're not stressed, you're not taking these self-care days because you have to get out of stress. You're like, I want you to be like,

Sean, I feel so fucking good. Like I'm gonna take my two days next week and I'm gonna be like, great. You know, because you're vibrating at a very high level, you know? That's amazing that you, I think more and more people are starting maybe to do that a little bit more, but it does change the, like just the, I guess the vibes in your, in not just your corporation or

company, but in your personal relationships. So, they do it before you get to that place. All right. So, how long has it been now, guys? It's been like an hour, how long has this podcast been? It's been like an hour or a half. Oh, yeah. So, why don't we do this?

Why don't we cut it here? And then we can do another part because I want to hear more about everything else. We've covered a lot of stuff about the making of Sean T. And of course, all of your background. By the way, which is, I just have to say, it's miraculous and just amazing how you were able to build the life you have given the life you were given. And this is like, it's just, it's, it's, this is just goes to show you that anybody can have what they want. If they, if they, if they actually, I say, my thing is I say, Chase, what you want, don't take what you can get. And you are literally like a beacon for that.

Really, it's amazing. Thank you. I think that, you know, life does give you what life is going to give you. And I don't want to downplay anybody's struggles, right? Because we all struggles. And I think one of the things that's really bad in fitness, it's just like that guy who just like hated on Lizzo the other day about like her body and like.

Again, that happened? Yeah, it's just terrible. But I think what happens in fitness is that just because I have results, like people think that just because I have results, like people think that just because I have results, you should do it too. But you forget that you had a process to get to the greatness that you consider yourself to be. And so for me, I just want to tell people out there where you are right now is where you're

supposed to be. Just try to take one step to being the better you that you wanna be. Not be better because your mom says, so your dad says so or your friends say so. Like be better because you wanna be better. Get to where you wanna go because you want to go there. Be positively selfish in your life. You know, the days of doing things for everybody else,

that's really great. Yeah, I wanna help people make money. Yes, I wanna help people get fitter. Yes, I wanna inspire and motivate. But I have to be the nucleus of my existence. I have to be the sun to my solar system. You know, so for me, without our sun, I think I said this on the podcast,

but you know, without our sun, like the earth would be frozen and immobile, right? So be the sun, like be the sun to yourself, like create light and energy and warmth and just love yourself. So this is why people like you so much because you make them feel good about where they are and not feel guilty about where they're not.

And I think that's the bottom line, right? And that's why your classes were popular at Equinox. That's why hip hop and insanity and like, by the way, I wanted to say this and we can talk with it next time. But your program in sanity was the top, top most successful program of all time and fitness. It actually beat P9 DX.

I thought it was P9 DX and it was actually insanity. Oh, well. It's like a billion, how many copies were sold? No, I love Tony Gordon, no shade, but I mean, a little competition is fun. Yeah, I don't think he'd think so, but that's his type. I'm waiting, please, he probably still hates me.

No, I know, no, no, well. But I don't know, maybe. I mean, listen, you know. But I will respect that man forever. Like, you know, I think very similar to me in Shilline Johnson, Shilline Johnson, we like collectively had our way of motivating the masses. And we all, which I think is really, really great.

And this is what I want people out there to do for themselves. We all created a life that we loved and we attract people to our authenticity. and that's what I want people to do Like be as authentic as you can because it is true Quality over quantity a hundred percent. I love that go follow Sean T Tell them what to tell everyone where to find you. Oh cool. Well, you can find me in the street Oh, well, you can find me in the street. And in front of CDS on the street. You can find me on all social platforms at Sean T, SHAUNT, or you can go to SeanTLife.com

sign up for my email list and you'll be involved in all the fun stuff that I'm doing. And there's a lot. Thank you. I loved having you on this podcast, as I'm sure you can imagine. It's been like god knows how long we went way over So thank you. Thank you. I love you. Mom. Thank you. I love you back Habits and hustle time to get it rolling stay up on the grind don't stop keep it going Habits and hustle from nothing in the summer all out host a budget of fuck going Visionaries to nian you can get to know This episode is brought to you by the YAP Media Podcast Network.

I'm Halataha, CEO of the award-winning digital media empire, YAP media, and host of YAP Young & Profiting Podcast, a number one entrepreneurship and self-improvement podcast where you can listen, learn, and profit. On Young & Profiting Podcast, I interview the brightest minds in the world, and I turn their wisdom into actionable advice that you can use in your daily life. Each week, we dive into a new topic like the Art of Side Hustles, how to level up your influence and persuasion and goal setting.

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