Habits and Hustle - Episode 200: My First Solo Episode

Episode Date: December 24, 2022

For the first time, Jen takes to the mic for a solo episode revealing some of the behind-the-scenes of her busy lifestyle. She dives into her fear of public speaking, the stress of launching a book, why it's hard for her to be vulnerable, the importance of choosing your friends wisely and so much more.  Join Jen’s new Facebook group for access to her online community, bonus content and more! https://www.facebook.com/groups/662921105381902/  Find out Jen’s secret to getting anything you want out of life  https://www.jennifercohen.com/the-secret-to-getting-anything-you-want-in-life ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐ Did you learn something from tuning in today? Please pay it forward and write us a 5-star review on Apple Podcasts.  📧If you have feedback for the show, please email [e-mail]  📙Get yourself a copy of Jennifer Cohen’s newest book from Habit Nest, Badass Body Goals Journal.  ℹ️Habits & Hustle Website - http://habitshustle.com 📚Habit Nest Website - https://habitnest.com/  📱Follow Jennifer - Instagram - https://instagram.com/therealjencohen - Facebook - https://www.facebook.com/therealjencohen - Twitter - https://twitter.com/therealjencohen - Jennifer’s Website - https://jennifercohen.com Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

You stay ready. I stay ready. Are we on? Yeah, we're on. This is really exciting because I've never done a solo episode on my own podcast. I've always only had guests on. So this is the first time that I'm doing one without an actual guest. Although I do have a foil or a sidekick joining me. I love being a foil. You're the best foil. It's better than plastic wrap. It's much better than plastic wrap. Her name is Shawnee and she's the best foil. Woo.

And the reason why I wanted to do this was actually twofold. Number one, I want you guys to get to know me personally. I know that you guys listen to the podcast and I'm hoping that you like it. If you do or don't leave me a comment, leave a review, let me know what you think, what you like, what you don't like. I just wanted to have a more of a personal interaction because like I said, I only always have guests on and this is my first time with the solo thing. I'm kind of nervous, uncomfortable, but...

But you're gonna be bold. Right, I'm gonna be bold. I'm gonna be bold and I'm gonna do the uncomfortable things and I'm kind of nervous, uncomfortable, but... But you're gonna be bold. Right, I'm gonna be bold. I'm gonna be bold, and I'm gonna do the uncomfortable things, and I'm not gonna fear the rejection that you may have for me, but, you know, because the only way to get through something or to get over a fear is to go through it. And if not, just in general, I gotta get better at it. So the best way to get more comfortable is practice, which is what I talk about in my book a lot. So by the way, Shani, thank you for coming on. Thank you so much for having me. What a delight. Yes, this is great. I love that you're my foil. And you know, I don't know if you guys follow me on social media or not, but in the

last couple months, but in the last couple months, especially in the last six weeks probably, I've been doing a lot of different reels, talking about my book, Bigger Better Boulder. And Shawnee's been helping me out with the production of it and filming it. And she's been really good, because like I said, I'm not the most comfortable in situations where I have to just like, blab or self-promote, which is kind of what this is all about. Like when you, people like, if you don't know, when you put out a book, you know, people only see the end product,

they see, you know, the, the book cover, they see the people promoting the book after the fact. But all the work, or a a lot or the majority of the work is actually in the pre-launch. So the couple months prior to the book going out, there's a lot of leg work and a lot of work just to kind of sell books on pre-order. Yeah, we're taking a lot of naps in February. Yeah, I mean, I'm actually going to take one long nap or like some long vacation because it's been a grind for the last two months. And so yeah, so I just wanted to kind of come on here and a, that's what happens. Like I think a lot of people don't know that because how many people write books in the world, not many, right? I mean, there's a lot of people who do, but a lot of

people who don't. And it's just a grind. And I just think it's so interesting that people just don't know what they don't know. So I'm here to kind of peel back the onion and explain and tell you, it's a grind. And it's my blood, it's the blood sweat and tears of the last, you know, couple of years that's now coming to fruition now. So.

And you also wrote the book yourself. I did. Which is pretty impressive. Well, I mean, that's another thing. A lot of people the book yourself? I did. Which is pretty impressive. Well, I mean, that's another thing. A lot of people don't write their own books. So that's another part of it. But I mean, that's neither here nor there. It's the actual promotion on the PR behind the book or the pre-launch, like I was saying, the strategy. Because the truth of matter is, like, you could have the greatest book in the world, and nobody knows you wrote it.

If you don't have the proper marketing or strategy or whatever to actually get it out there. Why do you not like self-promoting so much? I feel like you can promote you promote other people so well. Why can't you promote yourself? You know what I mean? I don't know. It's never been something that I've been really good at. I think I'm really good at being someone's other person's cheerleader or really passionate about someone else's stuff, but I feel it's kind of like, I don't want to promote myself in that because I feel it's cheesy or corny or self-engrandizing in some way,

and I find that to be like, those are like icky things. So I am very mindful of that, so then I don't do anything. So this like I said, this is why, this is my first solo episode, and this is why I haven't been like, yam, wring on about the book for the last few months, except for like now I do a little bit

of a 30 second commercial, but in front of the podcast. Yeah, which is by the way fueled by me. I can't believe you've not used your audience in the way that so many other people use their podcast audiences. Some of them have like 10 minute intros where they're just talking about follow me, leave me a review, do this, that and the other. And you don't do that, which I think obviously shows

a lot of integrity for the show, and that you really just want to get into the conversation. Like that's what I'm interested in. I don't like care about doing all that. Like I think I miss it. Maybe I miss to some people an opportunity. But I'm just really doing this podcast and why I even decided to do this podcast is because I'm genuinely curious about what people do to be productive and what people's habits are and like how I can benefit and how other people can benefit from gleaming on like some knowledge. If that's really why I started it,

it wasn't for the self-engrandizing or like, look at me or I don't care about that. And so there's a contradiction in the fact because, you know, because of two reasons, because an extroverted, people automatically assume that I would naturally be better at that stuff, which is completely not true. You could be really extroverted in some ways

and then be more timid in other ways, which I think is me, and probably a lot of other people. And then of course, I write a book called Bigger Better Bolder, which means chasing what you want, not settling for what you get. And then I, somebody who is much more, I'm not necessarily a natural self-promoter,

but which leads me to what is being bold, right? I don't think being bold necessarily means being bragadocious and being super You know out there constantly self-promoting and constantly just being Aggressive and that's not how it would I mean? I mean, but I what I think of what bold is I think bold is kind of being more deliberate and what you I think bold is kind of being more deliberate in what you go for and how your life kind of is curated. The things that you go for, the job that you have, the people that you date, or in general,

like curating your life by design. So you're in control, you're taking agency of what you want. And you don't have to be, like I said, super loud and annoying in that way. You can do it in a, you could be someone who's a more of a strong, silent person who can still be able to curate and design your life. And you get bolder by practice.

I mean, you don't have to be born that way, but you can do little bold moves every single day to get to a place where you're much more comfortable to have the courage to ask for whatever it is you want. Yeah, but I don't understand why you feel like self-promotion because this is a quality book. So don't you feel like this brings value to human beings? Like, why do you feel like it's braggadocious

if you're actually pushing something that could benefit people? Just because it's bad. It's not about that. I think it's, I do, I think it's braggadocious if you're actually pushing something that could benefit people. Just because of that. It's not about that. I think it's, I do, I think it's, listen, I use this book as kind of, I'm not talking from a white ivory tower. This book is really about my own experience, how I was able to succeed in certain things or have been successful in certain things. So I use myself as a really good example of somebody who was not necessarily the most talented

or the smartest or the prettiest, but someone who just went after things by asking for it and being bold. And so like I said, I'm asking people to, I'm not me not me not forcing people to buy something that I did is not necessarily me not wanting them to buy it or read it. It's just the question of I just feel a discomfort when it's something that I put together. I wrote, it's very vulnerable. It's like being very vulnerable. It's like here I put this book together, I wrote this book, and now it's out there in the world. I guess it's like a vulnerability that I'm uncomfortable with sometimes. But I'm trying to get better, which is why we're doing this podcast.

It's crazy because I feel like people see you as someone who's such an amazing speaker, like you did your TED talk, and that's what you were honestly a huge part of what you're known for. And that was obviously a solar TED talk. But when you get to know you and you see that you do your podcast, all interviews and everything, and this is your first solo episode, it's just interesting how that dynamic is like, is there. I feel like you should be someone who is so comfortable solo speaking. But if anything, expressing this kind of stuff is opening up the vulnerability. And I think that's awesome.

Thank you. Well, let me tell you this, people, listeners. Yes, people. If there's one listener or 20 or maybe 40, your show gets more than that. Well, the odd mistake of what I want to say is a couple of things that make me uncomfortable is public speaking, which is the irony of a lifetime,

which is why, again, it's like the way you get better at something is through practice and putting yourself in those uncomfortable places. So when I did this TED talk, I was super uncomfortable because it wasn't something I was naturally like comfortable doing standing on a stage and talking. But why I'm bringing this up is just because we're not necessarily good at something

or because we're scared of something, doesn't mean that we shouldn't try doing it or doing it anyway. Like I believe that in whatever we're the most scared of is what we should try the most to do. That means that there's something there. There's a reason why. And what we need to do is conquer that because I think usually in our heads, we make these things so much more horrible than they really are in real life, right?

Like, whatever, we catastrophize, or, yeah, catastrophize, whatever, I think so. It's a great word, also bragadocious. Bragadocious. It's a great word, it's great word. It's true, but I have a little, it's true, I hate being bragadocious, and we all catastrophize things in our heads.

And when we actually do them in real life, it's not, never is bad. So I lead with that. So when I put, so I put myself in these uncomfortable situations, like I think everybody should, if they want to grow and lose that fear, right? It's like how you, that's how you should do it. And think what's the worst that can happen? Like, you're not going to be any worse off from that thing than you were yesterday, but you've got to at least put yourself in that situation to try to get even one percent better. Yeah, the stuff that you might be most scared of

and most uncomfortable doing, you might actually be phenomenal at, and it might lead to five million plus views and a whole new career set. I mean, that's really what happened with your head dock, you know? No, it's true. It's 100% true. So yeah, so anyway, I just, like I mean, that's really happening. It could happen with your head talk, you know? No, it's true. It's 100% true. So yeah, so anyway, I just, like I said, this is my first entree into these solo episodes. I think I'm going to start doing them more.

I think it's really important to connect with you listeners. And if there's anything particular that you want us to talk about, we can start having a two-way kind of open communication where there's something that you want to talk about, we can start having a two-way kind of open communication where if there's something that you want to talk about or us to talk about even my foil and myself, Shawnee, leave me a note, leave me a comment, and that way we could, you know, delve deep into whatever that is. Shawnee, is everything you want to talk about? Oh, yeah, the Facebook group.

I think that would be the perfect segue into asking everyone, or letting everyone know that Jen does have an official Facebook group. We just started it. It's called The Bold of Directors. And if you buy her book and read about it, you'll understand the references. But join the Facebook group. We'll put the link in the description to this episode.

And also every episode moving forward. So you guys can join it and click through from there. And we're really building a phenomenal community, people who follow Jen, people who've been tracking her for a while, listen to her podcast, just wanna talk about the things that she talks about. And it's a really cool space. So I wanna include something actually not to cut you off.

No, please. You know, she did say something that was very important, which is this idea that I talk about in my book, but I think it's important for life, it's called the Bold of Directors. And what that is, instead of it being the board of directors, the bold of directors is the ideology around surrounding yourself with like-minded people who want you to succeed. We are the sum of the five people we surround ourselves with. So look around and look around

the people that are in your life that you're close to and see if those people are serving you or holding you back. I think that's a really important place to start from because I don't believe that anybody is self-made. I think everybody needs other people and other things to help you win in life. And you win by having people who genuinely want you to win around you and that who can help support you to get to wherever it is you're trying to get to. So that's why I even started this Facebook group because I think it's really important that we build a community of people who are like minded, who have like mindedness or like-minded, who all want to strive to achieve better in their lives and to grow and to learn from people who they're similar to. And so I always try to assess. I always try to have some kind of self-awareness, especially around this time of year, right?

We're going into 2023. And you want to take a self-assessment and an assessment of what your surroundings are and see if this is something that is serving you or hurting you and act then accordingly. And that's why I'm glad that we started this group. And if I give you one task to do going into 2023 is take that idea and see and look around and see if the people around you are the people that you want to have around you as your bolder directors. Because if you are trying to achieve and if you are trying to achieve a goal and grow and be better and chase the life you want, not the life you get, that's step one.

Absolutely. The people these runners-up with are you. I mean, that really is, you hang out with really bad people for a set amount of time. You're gonna turn into those people with those kind of qualities. It's kind of like the same thing. You ever hang around someone who uses a really interesting

slang word, and the next thing you know, you're starting to pick that word up. Oh yeah, exactly. I started saying pathetic a lot because of you. And the next thing you know, you're starting to pick that word up. Oh yeah, exactly. I started saying pathetic a lot because of you. I see like really bad produce. I'm like, this is pathetic. I'm very particular over the kind of produce I pick. And if it's not good, I do say it's pathetic.

Look at this orange. Like no bad lettuce in this house. Yeah, bad lettuce is terrible. Look at these oranges that just went awry. Yeah, pathetic. It's just absolute pathetic. It's absolute pathetic. So I think this is a good beginning.

This is a good first solo episode. Do you think foil? I think it was amazing. I'm gonna, and he's like wearing an aluminum hat or something. I'm like really complete. Next episode we're gonna get you one of those. That's a good idea. And if you have not pre-ordered my book,

bigger, better, bolder, do so now, because it's gonna be coming out in the next couple days, Tuesday, December 27th is the drop date. So either pre-order it or wait, but... No, don't wait, but try not to. Don't wait. The idea is not to wait. It's to actually act.

Act momentum, momentum. Things are motion, stay in motion. So have a beautiful day. Thank you for listening. And goodbye. Like follow, subscribe. Yeah, like follow, subscribe. you