Habits and Hustle - Episode 224: Tips On How To Be a Present, Working Parent

Episode Date: March 17, 2023

In this episode of the Habits & Hustle podcast, Jennifer discusses the challenges that come with being a working parent. Being a present parent with a thriving career is difficult, and many people don’t know how hard it is to do both well. Luckily, having a great support team and being efficient with your time can make balancing the two a little easier.  What’s discussed: 01:39 Balancing work obligations and your kids’ schedule 02:19 Why you need a great support team  04:53 How to be more available and present  06:50 Why you need to be more efficient with your time  07:34 Why you shouldn’t be too hard on yourself  Key Takeaways: Being a working parent is a work in progress, and it’s important to remember to not be too hard on yourself. It’s important to be more efficient with your time so you can accomplish the things that you need to do for yourself and accommodate your kids schedule.  Nobody is self-made in this world, so it is important to have a great support team around you. Find more from Jennifer: Jen's Bigger, Better, Bolder Mastermind starts in March! Apply now to be considered: https://www.jennifercohen.com/bigger-better-bolder-mastermind Join Jen’s new Facebook group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/662921105381902/ Find out Jen’s secret to getting anything you want out of life: https://www.jennifercohen.com/the-secret-to-getting-anything-you-want-in-life Follow Jennifer: Instagram: http://instagram.com/therealjencohen Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/therealjencohen/ Twitter: https://twitter.com/therealjencohen Jennifer’s Website: https://jennifercohen.com/ Did you learn something from tuning in today? Please pay it forward and write us a 5-star review on Apple Podcasts. If you have feedback for the show, please email [e-mail]. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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You're listening to Habits in Hustle. Crush it. All right, okay, we're gonna talk about something. We just changed topics of what we're gonna talk about because it was happening in real time, which is working and being a mom, working and being a parent that is a present parent. That's what I wanna talk about.

Wait, this hat looks so cute on you by the way. Thanks. I just had to say that you look great. I feel like because I haven't seen your face all day, this is wonderful. That's just great. Thank you. The only reason why we're talking about this one today

is because, so let me just give you a backstory. Shionne comes over and she's like, we gotta do some solos and I'm like, yeah, let's do what, let's do it in my kitchen. And she's like, don't do it in the kitchen. We can't do in the kitchen because if we do in the kitchen, the kids are gonna come home, we're gonna have to do this,

we're gonna have to do that. It's gonna take five hours to do like three, ten minute episodes. And I'm like giving her a hard time. I'm like, don't be ridiculous. It'll take like no time. We're gonna knock it out, we fine. And this went on for a bit. And lo and behold, what happens?

My kids come home from school. And it is like becomes mayhem. Mom, I wanna watch the iPad. Mom, I want to watch the iPad. Mom, I want to like, what do this, ma-a-a-a? And it was really like kind of like, it was like not World War III, but it was like a whole thing in the house where like, where the kids are going to go. If I can watch an iPad, about the sports,

when they're going to go to the sports, the timing of everything, how they're going to go to the sports, the timing of everything, how I'm going to fit in certain things that I need to get done for work, then balance that out with when I'm going to have to do with my kids for their schedule. Let me tell you, this is not an easy job. If you want to be a good parent and have a thriving career, it is hard. That is all I want to say. This is not really for it. I'm not going to like go and I and and philosophize all the other stuff, but I just want to say for people who are listening, if you are somebody who is a working

parent, God bless you, it is not easy. I am with you. It is hard. And I think people who don't know, don't know how hard it is to do both well. And you need a real great support team, which is kind of what I really want to talk about, which is I'm amazed that more people don't give credit where credits do. I think that nobody is self-made in this world. I don't think anyone can do a job on their own without having really good support people around them. That's family, friends, workmates, whatever it is. It's really hard, especially when you have a family.

And that's really what I want to talk about. I want to talk about it. I think that we have to give ourselves a break. And the guilt factor is something that is real. And if it's not guilt, it's about figuring constantly trying to like trial and error how to do it well. I know you're only like 12, so you don't understand this yet. I love how young you feel. You make me feel so young every time I come here. It's great. Well, you know, you're young.

Like a middle schooler. Well, kind of. But you don't know. People like I said, people who I come here, it's great. Well, you know, you're young. Like a middle schooler. Well, kind of. But you don't know. People like I said, people who don't know, don't know, right? But you also choose to do the podcast in the kitchen when you have a perfectly fine office downstairs. Like, we're on our two and a half, and we've done two and a tiny bit of another. And this is why, because Dylan, God bless him, keeps on asking me something about the iPad or a snack or this

This is what happens. This is my point But if we're down Stair is it going down story? This is my point. What two and a half hours straight without getting interrupted during your interview And you do that consistently because your downstairs you choose to do them inside of the kitchen I choose to do it because I want to be visible to my children This is the part that I'm telling you if If you don't know, you don't know. And if you're not a mother, you don't understand. Sometimes it's really a good idea to be visible.

That's the why you like doing it in the kitchen. Don't lie. Well, that's why I like to do it in the kitchen. Oh, that's another reason. I like that. I think it's better here. My office is a dungeon. But that's a whole other story.

I'll take it. Not a dungeon. That's like a... Okay, that is the main... Jen never tells me. And so she can be visible for her children. And she only ever says, because of the lighting, that's like a, that is the main. Jen never tells me and so she can be visible for her children. She only ever says, because of the lighting,

how'd you said be visible for the children? I would have been more understanding. So this is the first time I'm ever hearing of this reasoning. What are you talking about? Well, that's one of the things. The truth the matter is, that's the point that I'm trying to make is,

it's very difficult to do both things really well. And so you do a lot of self-talk in your head like, well, if I'm working, at least if I'm visible and I'm, they can see me around, it's better. But is it if you can't pay attention to them? It's probably not that much better. It's better to maybe be more efficient. I guess it was just leading me to my point, more efficient and being not visible and doing it quicker, and then you can become more available and present. Because at the end of the day, it's about having time that you are very present and focused as opposed to fragmented and fractured and then only spending, you know, 30% of your actual

time, brain capacity, on being around. Anyway, it's like that. No, that's good, that's important. No, I think what happens is, I being around. Anyway, it's like that. No, that's good, that's important. No, I think what happens is I think it's constantly, it's like a work in progress. It's like, I don't have all the answers. I'm just now just riffing with anybody who maybe understands what I'm talking about

and maybe if you can relate, great. And if not, well, then you could just fast forward this episode to the next one. But this is what's going on in my head right now. It's just really hard. And I do the best I can, like everybody else. And we should be a little bit easy on ourselves, you know, like that's the bottom line. Like sometimes it's okay that you're not fantastic every day.

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Vitamin water, zero sugar, nourish every you. Vitamin water is a registered trademark of glass O. I think every single mom who has a career can understand with that. I think even if they don't have a career, like getting just regular tasks and errands and stuff done, when you have kids is like so difficult, especially when they're not of like autonomous age where you have to actually like look out for them, make sure that they don't get hurt or fall or you know, if things be fed and things like that.

Well, I think I guess sometimes I think I get to actually people when I when I when I when my kids were babies, I actually thought that it was it was really hard then because they were not mold, like they you got to stay like 24 hours, you know, you couldn't just leave. It's actually more difficult as they get older because they were not mobile. Like you got to stay within 24 hours. Like hold them. You know, you couldn't just leave. It's actually more difficult as they get older because they're once, they, they're once maybe different and they may change, but they're just as demanding on you.

Like, I'm literally in back to you. Talking back to me, but more than that, you become like an Uber. Like basically my schedule now is not my own. It's like, what can I do around the schedule of my two kids, right? One has to be at dance at this time. My other one has to be at basketball. Then he needs to be at soccer.

Then this one needs to be at gymnastics. It's like how do you navigate around the Uber? That's literally what it is. And then like what happens is you have to create a situation where you are way more efficient with your time actually. You've got to be way more efficient with your time so you can actually knock out the things that you need to do for yourself to accommodate your kid's schedule. So, you know, which is kind of funny because of this whole, where am I going to do

this podcast, solo upstairs or downstairs, because on that one-off moment where I'm like, you know, let's do it upstairs so I can be visible and I like it better up there because it looks better and all the other stuff. Like it's become the antithesis of what I was trying to accomplish, which is efficiency. Go figure, that's what it is, right? So anyway, that's what it is. Most importantly, I guess the message of the day is don't be hard on yourself. Give yourself a pound in the back if you're trying to do both well. It's hard. I hear ya. I got you and I'm commiserating with you. Wait, really quick. I think that you should, well, this will segue into the next episode, but I want to give you your flowers because I think that what you do with Dylan, for example,

is so valuable and important and you never really given. And I think that that's really essential. A lot of parents just throw the devices and not to blame them by any means. I'm sure I'm gonna be quite the device parent myself. I mean, give them like an AI and Annie. But I did, but I did, but I did like the fact that you hold out on that and you really like force them to be creative and be outside and be active. That's really commendable.

And you never like relent no matter how hard or how much harder it is on you, you know that you're doing what's best for them and you stick to your guns on that. Thank you. I think that's really freaking cool. Wow. That's what we made say. I appreciate that.

Let me say that. That's what took all this time. That's why these two. Yes. That is why two and a half hours to do 10 minute two episodes has taken that long because I refuse to give in to this iPad. Mania. Mania. Which drives me crazy, but it is time consuming to do it better, to do it better.

Not to do it right, because there's been lots of times when I have to actually like give in, I'm a human being, but yes. So with that saying, the actionable item to take away for today is, don't be so hard on yourself. Balance is not a real thing. What you do learn is efficiency and you do learn patience because you need tons of them. That's it. So go discuss it in the Facebook group or the mastermind or leave me a review and tell me how you're coping and managing and doing. That's it.

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