Habits and Hustle - Episode 229: David Nurse: How to Identify Your Action Archetypes

Episode Date: April 4, 2023

What we discuss: 00:34: About David 03:06: What is an action archetype? 05:11: Can we fit into more than one archetype? 07:43: How can you overcome fear? 09:11: How can being a comedian help you over...come fear? 10:41: What is the burn archetype? 12:14: What happens if you don’t become aware of your past burns? 13:56: What do your pressure points say about your emotions? 16:18: What is the inopportune archetype? 18:19: How can you get over this inopportune feeling? 20:44: What is self-efficacy? 26:22: How did David become a coach? 29:05: What does it take to be an NBA coach? 39:32: What role does ego play in people giving you a chance? 42:12: Which players did David work with? 45:38: How much do coaches in the NBA make? 48:36: Did David’s uncle help him get involved with the Raptors? 51:50: What is the perfectionist archetype? 53:45: How can you get over perfectionism? 01:03:10: Where can you learn more about David? Key Takeaways: When we fail to take action, it’s usually due to some type of fear that is holding us back. David Nurse explains how we classify these types of fears by something he calls “action archetypes”. Some of us fall into the perfectionist archetype, where we don’t take action unless we feel everything is perfect. Other people fall into the inopportune archetype, where we feel like we can’t take action because it’s not the right time and/or right conditions. Whichever archetype you fall into, it’s crucial to become aware of it so you can get yourself out of it and start taking action. To overcome fear, you need to look at yourself from a different point of view other than the one where you have access to your internal thoughts. David’s advice is to look at yourself as a comedy show. What he means here is to take a step back when you’re experiencing fear to observe yourself. Go from being the actor in the comedy show to being the viewer. When you do this, don’t be afraid to laugh at yourself. This will help you put in perspective how your fears may be irrational and that you’re capable of getting through them.  It’s great to have confidence in yourself and a high level of self-esteem, but it’s not enough to have one or the other. What you need is to have both of these traits and then combine them with action. It’s through having high levels of confidence, and self-esteem, and taking action that you develop self-efficacy. Thank you to our sponsors: This episode is sponsored by Hostinger. Visit Hostinger.com/HABITS and use promo code HABITS for an extra 10% off. This episode is sponsored by Everyplate. Visit everyplate.com/podcast and use code HUSTLE149 and get a special price of $1.49 per meal to get started This episode is sponsored by LMNT. Visit drinklmnt.com/habitsandhustle and get a free sample pack with any order. This episode is sponsored by Organifi. Visit organifi.com/hustle and use the code HUSTLE to save 20% on your order  To learn more about David: Website: https://www.davidnurse.com/ Book: Do It: The Life-Changing Power of Taking Action  Instagram: @davidnursenba My links: Website: https://www.jennifercohen.com/ Instagram: @therealjencohen  Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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Starting point is 00:00:53 I guys, it's Tony Robbins, you're listening to Habitson Hustle, fresh it. Okay, so today's a fun podcast because I have my friend on today. Someone who I've been friends with for actually many years, but never met in person, seems David Nurse, and David is quite a guy. He used to be an MBA coach, right? Yes.
Starting point is 00:01:20 Okay, turned author of multiple books, and he's basically a performance coach, a mindset, expert, and his newest book is called Do It. I love the name. The life-changing power of taking action and you know what I love having, I love the title is because all I ever am around about is like action, action, taking action. And then you wrote an entire book about taking action. Just for you. You gave me that idea. You were talking about taking action. And then you wrote an entire book about taking action. Just for you, you gave me that idea. You were talking about taking action in our last podcast. I was like, you know what? I want to write this book so I can come on Jen's podcast.
Starting point is 00:01:53 Specifically for me. And here we are. Exactly. Well, it worked because here you are, right? And I'm so happy to have you here. So legit, because this made us get actually introduced in person for the first time in God knows all the years I've known you.
Starting point is 00:02:08 So let's start from the beginning. Now this is now what, your second, third book. Third book, yeah. Your first book was called. Pivot and go. Second book. Breakthrough. And this one now.
Starting point is 00:02:19 Is now do it. How, okay, how do you have all these ideas? They're all very much about mindset and motivation and personal development. But I feel like you just spit out one nice book after another. I think you know what, they're different concepts that I have
Starting point is 00:02:34 in written for different people. So pivoting go was written for somebody who is stuck. And I feel like everybody at some point gets stuck in their lives just so happened that became the hot term during COVID, wrote it before COVID, but anybody who's feeling stuck could read these little small pivots in perspective
Starting point is 00:02:51 and see things from a different perspective. Breakthrough is more of a formula that I've used with NBA players and coaches and CEOs that I've seen them perform at a high level. So it's like, okay, what can, because we all see this with high performers, like why are they at that high level. So I was like, OK, what can, because we all see this with high performers, like, why are they at that high level?
Starting point is 00:03:06 But yet, there's really no formulaic expression for it. So I just did research on what was working, and I put it into a four quarter breakthrough quadrant. So that was more towards the high performer who wants to take it to the next level. Now, do it is an interesting one. And this one, I'm really excited about. I think probably like it's the cheesiest thing
Starting point is 00:03:27 for an author to say, hey, my new book's the best one. Go get it. But it's a different concept here. And it's a different type of writing that I've done. And I give the 40,000-foot view as atomic habits meets the enneagram with crazy cool Malcolm Gladwell type stories of historical figures from the past who changed the world. So what I mean by that is you're going to get the tools to be able to figure out what your action archetype is.
Starting point is 00:03:55 Now, action archetype is the reason you are holding yourself back from where you are currently today to where you want to go in the future. Everybody has something holding them back. And maybe it's something bigger than others. Maybe it's multiple things. But at different times in our lives, we are different action archetypes. And we can go through those. And I'll give you a few examples, like fear of other people's opinion,
Starting point is 00:04:20 which I call the alidaxaphobic. That means fear of other people's opinions. There's other ones like the blamer, where somebody's always blaming other people. We know these type of people. Maybe it's you listening to the earth right now, the scarciest. So you live in a scarcity mindset.
Starting point is 00:04:36 You're just trying to hold on to things. You're trying to hoard them. You're trying to not be able to go out and serve and share with others because you think you only get one slice of the pie. There's six others, nine total, through doing three years of studies, surveys, crazy research, more than I've ever done,
Starting point is 00:04:53 and then I go into why it's actually happening neurologically in the brain. Like why are people really fearing other people's opinions? There's different things happening in the brain, and then also in the heart, the feelings that hold us back. So each section has heart science, brain science, and then the coolest thing. These Malcolm Gladwell type stories. These historical figures, you probably, like a lot of people haven't heard of these, these people, like one guy's Lewis Latemy, for example. Incredible guy. I'd never heard of him before,
Starting point is 00:05:25 but he literally is a person behind Thomas Edison and Alexander Graham Bell why they did what they did without him. They're not those people. It's mind blowing. But each one of these people had the same struggle like of these nine different types. They came to a moment when they could have just taken
Starting point is 00:05:42 the easy route and just, you know, and kind of just with the motions, like a lot of people will, or take action, take a risk, take action. And they all obviously took action and they changed the world through it. I love that. That's a great, just, that diet ride that you were just on was perfect because it really did kind of give you everything that you needed right there. And so are you saying that we all fall into one of these archetypes, action archetypes?
Starting point is 00:06:07 Could we be a mix? Could we blend it to? Total. Okay. That's what's really cool about it. Okay. So the anyogram you are one type, and that's kind of a personality, self-awareness. This is something where you might change.
Starting point is 00:06:23 Like, I know for myself, for example, at one point I feared other people's opinions. I had this opportunity when I was doing basketball camps and before I coached you, I worked with any NBA players. I got this opportunity from a friend of mine who was a high school coach. He had the number one player in the country
Starting point is 00:06:42 and he told me, David, come up and work him out. And this is like what everybody dreams of if you're an NBA trainer. Like you get to work with this guy who's gonna be an NBA superstar. Who was it, by the way? Aaron Gordon, he's still in the NBA. He's the dunk champion.
Starting point is 00:06:53 People will know about him if you know the NBA. He was a stud up at Archbishop Midi in San Jose. So I go up there. I'm going to work him out. Work him out how? Training for a day? Yeah, yeah, yeah, training, like basketball skills, like skill development type stuff.
Starting point is 00:07:07 Skill development stuff, okay. And when you do this, then you're like, okay, I worked with this player, it really helps on your resume. I mean, trainers do this all the time. But I was gonna go in, I was literally about to go in the gym to work him out, and I got scared. Like I was afraid of what this 16 year old kid was going to think of me and think of like,
Starting point is 00:07:26 I'm an imposter here going into this. Yeah. So I go home, I make some excuse that I was feeling sick. By God's grace two weeks later, the coach, Tim Kennedy, you never went in? I didn't go in. No, because I was living in the,
Starting point is 00:07:39 yeah, wow. I'd never done it before, so I was scared. So that was fear of other people's opinions. Yeah. So, and it of other people's opinions. So, and there's another one called the underestimator. I also thought, who am I to work this guy out? I'm just this small town kid from Iowa. What like, who am I to go be this potential MBA trainer coach?
Starting point is 00:07:57 And a lot of us will struggle with that. Like, oh, I was born in this town. This person has more advantages in me. Or their parent is this. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, that's just lies and excuses you're telling yourself. So two weeks later, he asked me, again, hey, do you want it, are you feeling better?
Starting point is 00:08:11 And I did it. One of my friends kind of pushed me towards it. My friend comes and films it. We send this film to some MBA agents. They like it, they pick it up. I start training their players. And before I know it, I'm training over 150 MBA players over the next 10 years.
Starting point is 00:08:24 Really? Because of that, because I took action. But as you saw, I was struggling with fear of other people's opinions to begin. So how did you overcome that fear? You know what? Like literally, it was because my friend pushed me towards it. Now, there's tools in the book that I tell you
Starting point is 00:08:40 like you can actually use. That was just by sheer, like, force basically. He's like, dude, you're stupid, do it. Who cares what a 16 year old thinks and what I think about it, like, who cares what? But who cares what anybody thinks, honestly, right? Because we all get so caught up in the, like other people's opinions, what do they think?
Starting point is 00:08:59 Oh, what a, you know how long somebody actually thinks about you? Probably about 10 seconds. I think that's too long. I think people actually take the phone to you for like two seconds. Two seconds, yeah. And like that's why a lot of times you're so fearful
Starting point is 00:09:12 of even like doing something about how we're gonna look stupid or this and nobody even cares. They're too busy paying attention to themselves and thinking about themselves. Bingo, or thinking about what they're gonna eat for dinner that night. 100%.
Starting point is 00:09:24 Yeah, exactly. I tell it in talks, like in a month's stage, I'm saying, you know what, you know what, I don't care what any of you think. Sure, I want you to like me. It'd be awesome. I want everybody listening to this podcast, be like, man, David, super cool dude.
Starting point is 00:09:36 Like, I want to kick it with him. But ultimately, I could care less because when I go home, I know I have God and my smoking hot wife and that's all I need. That's all you need. Literally. That's amazing. So, wait, so give us a couple of the tools that you talk about. Yes.
Starting point is 00:09:50 To overcome fear if we don't have a friend that you had that literally pushes us, pushes and nudges us out to train the 16-year-old. Yes. Give us a couple of those two tools. So, here's my favorite one. It's called Be the Comedian. So, think about your favorite comedy show. Mine was the office with a guy named Michael Scott.
Starting point is 00:10:09 I loved it. One of the best all time. If you haven't watched it, there's something wrong with you. Right. Anyways, he's always getting himself in trouble. He's a regional manager for Dunder Mifflin, a paper company. He's always saying something to put his foot in his mouth and just getting in these situations.
Starting point is 00:10:22 And it's hilarious. But for him, it's incredible stress and anxiety. So think about that. When you're going through some time where other people are judging you or it's a stressful, anxious time, you're fearing some other person's opinion, take a step back. So you go from Michael to being the viewer. And then when you can look at yourself as a comedy show, you start to laugh. You're like,
Starting point is 00:10:50 that's kind of funny actually, that you're going through it. Because you're going to get through it. Either that or you'll die. And then it won't matter. It's also like to blip in your life. Like who cares after a minute or two, you're kind of at the moment. It's a finite period of time, and then it's over.
Starting point is 00:11:07 Yeah, but you can actually laugh at yourself, and there's some really tons of studies on how healthy that is, and how much overall happiness and contentment you have, if you are able to just not take yourself, so damn serious. Yes, that's the problem. We take ourselves to damn seriously. Exactly. So then, okay, of this list, let's go through them.
Starting point is 00:11:26 So the first one I can barely pronounce. Aledaxaphobic, that's the fear of other people's opinions. That's the fear of other people's opinions. Okay, what's the burned? The burned action archaeotype. Yes, so the burned. Archa type, I should say. So, think about it.
Starting point is 00:11:38 Like, somebody burns you. Let's take it for dating, for example. Okay. A lot of people will say, oh well, I got burnt. You know, they did me wrong. They dumped me. I'm not going to put my heart out there. Because of somebody from the past did something to you.
Starting point is 00:11:52 You're going to take that past and you're going to put it on somebody from the future. Either on yourself to hold yourself back. Like, I'm not going to take a chance. Why would I put my heart out there? I got burnt. No, that's just an excuse. The past is literally what happens in the past I would have put my heart out there. I got burnt. No, that's just an excuse.
Starting point is 00:12:05 The past is literally what happens in the past is going to lead you to what you are going to be in the future. But people in the burn situation will hold themselves back from taking action because they feel like they were done wrong. So it's ultimately the past, somebody in the past, is you're allowing them to hold back. And there's this thing called traumatic age regression. So this is this concept was incredible when I was doing the research on it.
Starting point is 00:12:33 It's when something happens in your past, you freeze in that moment. Like you literally until you address that situation, that traumatic situation in the past, you can't mentally get over it. It's like if you had a bad childhood and you go back to your childhood home, you ultimately go back into that person you were as a kid. Until you are able to be aware of it, accept it, address it, you will not be able to move on. You stay frozen in that moment.
Starting point is 00:13:03 Really? Yep. So what happens if you can't go back to that moment for lots of reasons, right? Like, what do you do? Are you just stagnant for your whole life? Well, most people won't become aware of it, so it'll always be something that holds them back. Like, go back to the relationship thing.
Starting point is 00:13:17 If somebody dumps them. Right, so how do you kind of like, cleanse yourself of something sometimes when you don't have that opportunity as my point? Yeah, yeah, yeah, totally. I I mean you won't ever be able to if you can't become aware that it actually happens What if you are aware of it? That's when you have to be able to forgive it like if somebody if somebody burned you and I've I've literally gone through this at a massive stage in my own life and I was so bitter and I just wanted to get revenge on this person
Starting point is 00:13:42 What happened? Well, I mean we might have to just keep, I can't take the whole story here because it might not work out very well. But let's just say it was a, it was, I want to know the, I want to know the tea, it was spilled the tea or whatever that thing is. I want to know that stuff.
Starting point is 00:13:57 I want to know the nitty gritty. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. And I will tell you off-camera and you'll see why. But anyways, I forgave this person. I forgave this person and it released me from that feeling. Okay. So they, if you don't, you don't have to forget.
Starting point is 00:14:12 I'm not saying forget, but if you don't forgive, they win on you doublefold, meaning you're constantly thinking about them and they've already burnt you anyway. So they're twice winning on you. But if you forgive them, then you've released it. You're able to move on past that traumatic experience. Keep coming back. You got plenty of space.
Starting point is 00:14:31 Oof, not how you would have done that. You like working with people you can rely on. Like USAA, who has helped guide the military community for the past 100 years. USAA, get a quote today. So the way to get overcome,, if you are the burned arcus, is you have to forgive, you've got to get over it, you've got to release it. And is that the, you said there's three different kinds though, the brain, the heart. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:14:56 What was the other thing? You said there's, so the brain and the heart science, so what's going neurologically in a brain and there's a lot of science and studies that are in there. But there's also something called an AMS, like pressure points. And I didn't know about this. I always thought it was like, what is that? I don't know if that really makes sense.
Starting point is 00:15:12 And you know, like read the book, you get more of like where everything is held in the body, but happiness is held in the chest and anger is held. I think it's in the shoulders. So when you're feeling angry, that's why when you go get a massage, you're like, oh, your shoulders are really tense, you're stressed, you have anger.
Starting point is 00:15:27 Like there's something really to that. It is, this is maybe a side note, but I just developed frozen shoulder recent. Have you heard of this? Yeah, totally. Have you ever had it? You don't have it. No, I haven't had it.
Starting point is 00:15:39 My wife has had it. See, her say shoulder problems, yeah. Really? Does that, so I've had it for like a few weeks. It's because I'm holding anger in my shoulder that I have that. It could. I know you're not a doctor.
Starting point is 00:15:50 Yeah, yeah, so I know this, like I don't, like I'm not prescribed to hit the pressure points, but. We're friends, like I'm gonna have a conversation in the midst of this podcast. Yes, so. Totally could be, I mean, it really could, like there could be a lot of stress that you're holding onto or something happened in your life
Starting point is 00:16:05 That's really like building up there for sure or you're just doing a ton of shoulder press exercises I don't know. Is it like over training? It could be. Yeah, you know, maybe something else. So basically I can't give you any good answer. You're not diagnosed in much shoulder-based. The funny thing is with this and I always thought this was a weird thing too when people are like, Oh, you gotta do grounding and get your feet on the grass and the beach.
Starting point is 00:16:29 And I was like, whatever, I don't really feel anything from that. But each one of these points, there's also entry in the bottom of the feet for happiness, for anger, for content. Yeah, well feet for sure has all those pressure points. So it's in there. And there's actually, I was actually like blown away. I was like, whoa, this grounding thing might actually be real. It's not this woo-woo thing that I thought it was before.
Starting point is 00:16:49 Yeah, I did too. I thought it was kind of woo-woo, but there's different. That's we're talking. Grounding is different. I think isn't grounding more when you're like getting yourself, you're becoming one with the environment or the nature. Reflex, I think it's called reflexology when it's all those different pressure points
Starting point is 00:17:07 in your front. Yeah, there's something with like the grounding in the electrical, I'll totally butcher that. So all these people out here like, David, you stupid, I agree, I agree, I agree. Yes, you and I, but okay, so basically then, let's go to another one. What is the inopportune one?
Starting point is 00:17:25 So inopportune is you either think you're too young or too old. The timing is not right. And this a lot of people struggle with this. This is like, okay, well, you know, like, I'm just too old to start a podcast or I'm too old to write a book or you know, my time, it's passed me by. But then you look at so many examples, like this Nola Oaks was 85 when she got her college graduate degree. I mean, rich role we know in the podcast world, what was he like 55 when he started this podcast or something crazy?
Starting point is 00:17:54 It was actually just on this podcast. There you go, 50 or 49 or something. I don't remember, he was older. But it's that, it's you're telling yourself that lie or you're too young to do something and you can't do it. So what it sounds to me, these action archetypes are basically also just excuses that we give ourselves more than anything.
Starting point is 00:18:15 Yeah, a lot of it is. But everything in not taking action is based in fear. It's some type of fear. It's some type of BS law you're telling yourself. Right, it's true. Yeah. I mean, this is why, not to say this is the reason why I gravitated or liked this book so much is because it does remind me similar messaging to my book, right?
Starting point is 00:18:36 Yes. Which is a bigger, better boulder, which is, you know, usually we're not moving or we're not, there's no action taking, being taken because of some kind of self-doubt or something we tell ourselves it's the same thing it's like oh we're not old enough we're not young enough we're not talented enough we're not smart enough it's just like but you have arranged it in a nice way where people can I think people really like when they can like they can like present information that's under it's very easy to understand at pinpoint, right? And you can understand where you are, who you are,
Starting point is 00:19:08 totally. People love archetypes all the time. Oh good, then everybody should buy this book, obviously. I'm not 100% by the book, by do it. So in opportune, then, is basically that, I'm too young, not young enough, blah, blah. How do you overcome that? What is your tool to overcome that feeling?
Starting point is 00:19:28 Yeah, so the tool is called a now alarm. And this is like you're going to take action now. You literally set an alarm in your phone that goes off at a certain time every single day that says now. And when it says now, you literally have to write down something that you are going to take action on now that you're doubting yourself on, whether you're the older or the younger, and then you're going to reach out to somebody who is either older or younger and ask them for advice or pour into them. So it's those two full things. It's literally the main point of it though is that now alarm, like it's going off, you are taking action now,
Starting point is 00:20:03 you're not waiting for a better time, you're not putting it off, you're not procrastinating. That's a good one. And it's funny because like... I like that one. ...procrastination, it's kind of like this sexy term now that people would throw, oh yeah, procrastinate on purpose. Yeah, they'll do better creative work.
Starting point is 00:20:19 No, there's studies and there's a study in there, a Canadian study of thousands of people, 95% of them reported that they were less happy. They were more stressed when they procrastinated, 95%. Well, I was going to say to you, in what world is procrastination sexy? I don't think it's sexy in anywhere. There's books written on it lately that have been coming out. Really?
Starting point is 00:20:40 Yeah, they're like, you can do your best creative work when you procrastinate. I've never seen that, seriously. I'll tell you, I'll show you. That's weird, because I just did a whole podcast on procrastination. And it's like, to me, it's like one of the biggest sources of stress, because it's like something you're not, if it's always going to be lingering
Starting point is 00:20:58 and it's something you're not doing. So that's why I would think that I'm trying to book about this. I totally agree. I love the idea of that alarm, because that actually So that's why I would think that I'm trying to talk about this. I totally agree. Yeah. I love the idea of that alarm because that actually is such an actionable thing where it will stop you from, that's an actionable thing that people can do to propel them forward. Yeah, totally.
Starting point is 00:21:18 It goes off. You have to do something. Yes. You literally have to do something. I mean, you can actually turn the alarm off and you don't have to do it. You can do it everywhere with that. But you know what's funny that I found too? Like when we're talking about there's excuses and there's fear that everybody has, there's, so self-esteem obviously is how you feel about yourself, yourself love. And that's really important. And a lot of
Starting point is 00:21:40 people talk about that and I agree. And then self-confidence is also very important because that is the self-awareness of who you are in a moment, but it's self-efficacy that's actually the game changer. It is self-esteem plus self-confidence because self-efficacy, tough one to get out, is acting as the person that you know and see yourself to be in the future. 100%.
Starting point is 00:22:04 I didn't know that. Yeah, I read about that, but that whole chapter on that. That's, oh, there you go. See, once again, I think, you know and see yourself to be in the future. 100%. I didn't know that. Yeah, I write a whole chapter on that. That's out there. You go see once again, I think, you know what? I think I might have just stolen every chapter in your book and put it. You just like rewrite my book. Maybe.
Starting point is 00:22:14 Oh, Jerry's out. I mean, I'm just saying. But no, self-efficacy is way more important. It's a feeling of you believing that you can do something is way more important than any. If you think you can do something, then you can do something. And it really does propel you to the action. It's so true. Because why people can't is because they're not able to see the future principal opportunity of you look at a situation happens, okay? You either look at it one or two ways.
Starting point is 00:22:46 It's the future principal or it's a lost opportunity. Now, it's, hey, this happened. Dang, I'm gonna regret that. Oh, shoot, well, I just got fired for my job, oh, it's over, or you look at it as a future opportunity of, oh, I got fired for my job, but I learned all these skill sets that I can use for this even better job. So it's the one of two ways, but if people can't see themselves as that future self, then
Starting point is 00:23:14 you have no idea where you are going and you will never get there. That's 100% true. More from our guest, but first a few words from our sponsor. So if you guys are looking for a side hustle or an easy way to make some money online, have I got the idea for you. The company is called Hostinger and it's incredible. You can literally create and launch a website or online shop in minutes without any technical or design skills.
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Starting point is 00:26:05 The alter ego, how that's important too. Now, in what area were you just referring to that? Were you just talking about it? Or are you? It is a tool, and that's just, like, it is a tool of one of those archetypes, which I cannot remember which tool it is for right now, but it's a reverse alter ego. Yeah, the reverse alter ego. So it is, it's a,, I wanna say it's the blame
Starting point is 00:26:27 or I think, I think, I think, I think, I think, I think, maybe not, maybe not. No, I think you're probably right. Okay, okay, because you take yourself, so you reverse the alter ego, so here's how it works. Like, if I did something in the past that I am still beholden to, like I was younger and I'm still in this frame of mind,
Starting point is 00:26:47 I give myself, well, that was little Davy that did that. That's my reverse alter ego. Now I'm created, which we know as the alter ego, as you can have it in a superhero, or you can have Sasha Fears or something like that, or Wonder Woman Woman or yes. Why do you know this? Why is this my alter ego?
Starting point is 00:27:07 This could be my actual, that's maybe who I am. That's what I'm saying. But you become your alter ego. You could become your alter ego. Superman and Clark Kent are the same person, right? True. There you go. You look like him a little bit.
Starting point is 00:27:18 Has anyone ever told you that before? My love languages, words of affirmation. Yeah, it is. So thank you very much. It's a little bit like Clark. Don't you think so well? Come on, can we get a movie deal? The next Superman.
Starting point is 00:27:28 Maybe a little. Come on, Will. Give me some props. Thank you. A little bit of a smile on his phone. But a little bit, right? You bought it like, I wanted to kind of, we'll go back to some of these other action archetypes.
Starting point is 00:27:43 But why don't we talk a little bit first about how you became the NBA skills coach, and give me a little bit of origin story so people know how you even came to be someone who's writing these books. We kind of skipped that part because we were just like, you can't remember now.
Starting point is 00:27:58 Yeah, good point. Yeah. But like, were you a mind coach, were you a skill physical skill coach? Like, which one were you a meant were you a mine coach were you a skill physical skill coach like yeah, where which one were you Were you both at one at different points of your life? Give me your origin. So here's how it went Well, I thought I was gonna play in the NBA right I grew up in this small town of I Well, I got a vertical leap of about two inches
Starting point is 00:28:19 So you know parents probably should have said play tennis or golf. I loved basketball poured every waking hour into it Really, oh yeah, loved it so but I loved basketball. Port every waking hour into it. Really? Oh, yeah, loved it. So, but I could shoot. I had no athletic gene, but I could, I could, I could shoot. And that was my only gift. So I got to play college basketball and I got to play professionally overseas.
Starting point is 00:28:35 And if we're being completely honest, it was probably more like the Will Ferrell semi-prote type of professional overseas. And we'll fast forward to year three. I played in Australia, Greece, and Spain. I'm playing in Northern Spain in the Basque region. They don't even speak Spanish up there. Literally probably don't really know what basketball is,
Starting point is 00:28:49 but I'm pouring into a day's film study, like nutrition, like all of this kind of stuff, and they're like, where's the party drinking beers at halftime? So I get cut from this team after the first preseason game, Jen. Yeah. So think about every hope, goal, and dream you had,
Starting point is 00:29:05 no backup plan, and it's taken away from you, turned upside down, and your face rubbed in the dirt. So I come back, but you know what? It's the greatest blessing. You know, it's when something like that happens, when a door shuts, I'll show you why. So I'm sitting on my, I'm living on my parents or calling their chair, feeling bad for myself,
Starting point is 00:29:24 and Kansas City, and my mom would always say these motivational and inspirational quotes and usually whatever mom in one year out the other year but she said this one that stuck with me. I was kicked back in the chair, she was doing dishes, she said, David, when one door closes, four open and an entire beachfront patty overlooking the ocean.
Starting point is 00:29:41 I was like, hold up, my mom thought it was one door, one door was this four doors beachfront deal here, you got going. But it hit me is that when a door closes it's not a door shutting on your life. It's an opportunity for four more doors to open for something bigger and better to come realizing that my gift was not to play in the NBA but it was to coach players with more god-given abilities. I've had to have anleticism to do so. So I made it my goal right then and there, I was gonna coach in the NBA. How old are you at this point? 24.
Starting point is 00:30:08 Okay, and so here you are, like basically crying in your mom's recliner. Yeah. She gave you this whole, this whole thing about the four doors, and you're like, now's my time to become an NBA coach, which by the way is not exactly an easy thing to do either.
Starting point is 00:30:24 Forget about being an NBA player. Yeah. How does one even become an NBA coach? Like by the way is not exactly an easy thing to do either. Forget about being an MBA player. Yeah. How does one even become an MBA coach? Like what is the question? Yeah, what is the even process? Is there an application that I can have an MBA at MBA.com? Like what do I do? That's funny.
Starting point is 00:30:37 Yeah, very good question. Great set. So I hand wrote a letter to every MBA GM. I decided I was going to take action on this because you can't just sit around and wait for the phone to ring and like, I'm sure the NBA knows I want to coach. No, that didn't happen that way. Yeah. Nobody got back to me. I kept checking the mail month and a half later. Handwritten letters. Handwritten letters. How many and don't exaggerate? 30. 30 NBA teams. Handwritten letters. Every single one. So who the actual coach? I sent it to whatever address I could find. It was mostly it was more management, assistant GM, GM, not the coaches.
Starting point is 00:31:08 So I sent it to front office management. Nothing back for a month and a half. I get a call from a 310 area code number that's Los Angeles. It's the GM of the Clippers at the time, Gary Sachs. We have a quick conversation. At the end of the day says, if you're ever out in LA, look me up. We'll grab coffee. Just be nice. Basically, good luck with the rest of your life kid.
Starting point is 00:31:27 He actually wrote you like actually. No, no call. Phone call. Yeah, yeah, so it's quick phone call. So I took that as an opportunity. Yeah, it was very nice. He's one of the nicest guys. I took that as an opportunity. I booked a ticket spent all my money stole some of my parents' money literally. It took a ticket to be in L.A. to act like I was going to do a basketball camp the following week.
Starting point is 00:31:45 So I prepared my butt off for this meeting. I'm studying up for it and I'm nervous. It's going to be, I can literally still remember walking into his room, sweating through my butt and up shirt that I had on. I was so nervous, but we hit it off. Great meeting. Every NBA connection I've ever gotten. Eric Spulster is a very good friend or even the job I got with the nets later down the line
Starting point is 00:32:06 stemmed from Gary Sachs. I ended up living with him when I moved to LA. He's in my wedding. He's one of my best friends to this day. We talk all the time. Because I took the chance when I was scared to take a risk of writing every handwritten letter. When I had like, what did I have to lose though?
Starting point is 00:32:24 But most people will make some excuse like, no, well, why would they want me, you know? And it leads to that. So fast forward five years, I was running basketball camps. I created this because now I had to make myself like the NBA would want me. I couldn't once again just wait for Gary to say, hey, this guy David, taking. Vitamin water just dropped a new zero sugar flavor called with love. Get the taste of raspberry and dark chocolate for the all warm, all fuzzy, all self-care, zero self-doubt you. Grab a with love today.
Starting point is 00:32:58 Vitamin water zero sugar, nourish every you. Vitamin water is a registered trademark of glass O. Well we hold on, I want to hear how this, how it played out. You said cut to your, he's in your wedding, you're staying with him. Before you cut to, how did the relationship evolve from that point? So here you are, you sweat through your shirt, you're meeting with this guy in his office. And then what was the first thing that kind of happened
Starting point is 00:33:25 from that meeting? So I knew I had to make the NBA want me. To do what? Because you're a 24-year-old kid. To be a shooting coach. That was my one gift. So I realized, this is what I can do. I can teach this.
Starting point is 00:33:36 Because that was the thing you were the best at, right? Yeah. I could become the best shooting coach. So I looked up who is the best shooting coach. It was Chip England for the San Antonio Spurs. So I seeked out Chip England. I would write him emails. I would call their number.
Starting point is 00:33:49 I never got back to me. So I go out to the Las Vegas. I figured out where do all the NBA people hang out? In any industry, there's always some place that everybody comes together. This is Las Vegas summer league, hot 100 degree weather in July. So I go out there a year after year
Starting point is 00:34:03 and I'm connected with people. I love relationships. I would get business cards and stay in touch. You're very good. By the way, I will say that David is one of the best networkers, connectors, and maintainers of relationships. That's how we met. You reached out to me. I did.
Starting point is 00:34:20 Totally. And, you know, he's very upbeat and happy. And you did. You reached out to me. And like, in know, he's very upbeat and happy. And you did, you reshowed to me. And like, in a very like, very like aggressive but yet sweet, nice way, relentless and tenacious. And like, not to say I'm anything special, but what I find interesting is that like, he like beats you down in a nice way.
Starting point is 00:34:41 And then you become friends with this person. Where you don't even remember how you became friends with them, which is exactly how you did it. That's your secret sauce. Oh, that's nice. It's true, because you are unrelenting and you do it in a way, which is I think the next book is like how you can do that. Because I think that is to me really the secret sauce of how people go from A to B.
Starting point is 00:35:03 But anyway, that's cool. That's what I think. That's a really good book concept. I know. See, as since I stole this one, I know, well, I'm sure. Now I can still next one. And now she's going to be writing that.
Starting point is 00:35:11 So don't you dare take it. I'm not. I've already got a different way of going. I'm a kiddie. But, okay, so now let me ask you something. So now you're in Gary's office, right? Have you done any of these summer season Vegas things yet? Or not? Not when I was in Gary's office.
Starting point is 00:35:27 So after that I did. But okay, so, okay, so then did he give you that idea or you figured it out? No, I just figured like they ought to be somewhere. And I really wanted to meet this guy, Chip England. Okay. So I finally meet him. I see him walking down the Las Vegas Thomas and Macarena corridor.
Starting point is 00:35:43 Okay. And I spark up a conversation with, he obviously knew that I was hitting him up a zillion times an email. And he's like, hey, I respect that. You're really trying to get there. And he took me under his wing and he gave me some great advice.
Starting point is 00:35:56 I used for years and years when I was training players. But the thing that I had to do was also what I was saying, like make the NBA want me. Become a great shooting coach. Part of that was that Aaron Gordon working with him. That was also what I was saying, like make the NBA want me. Become a great shooting coach. Part of that was that Aaron Gordon working with him. That was all in that process of I was living out of my car for five years doing basketball camps for anybody that would take me in. I custom made these terrible leather, like super bad basketballs.
Starting point is 00:36:19 Send them to the Oakland seaport. I drove 29 hours from Kansas City to Oakland with these long haul truckers all around me. I'm piling balls into my car. That's when I spend the next five years living out of the back, literally living out of my car, sleeping in well lit, Walmart parking lots. Did you really? Oh yeah, multiple times, yeah.
Starting point is 00:36:37 What, for how long? About five years or not just sleeping. But most of the time I was crashing on friends' couches. Okay, but sometimes you're saying seriously, you're sleeping in night. Oh, it sometimes you're saying seriously, you're sleeping on your night. Oh, it's probably 10 to 15 nights, I would. Okay. Instead of paying $49.99,
Starting point is 00:36:50 because I looked at it as like, one person at a camp was $40. Did I really want to spend a night at a hotel or just sleep in the background? I didn't care. I was fine. Good for you. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:37:00 And so that's how, and so this whole time, you were now keeping in touch with Gary Sachs. And all these other people that I made a relationship with. Right, okay. So five years go by, I wake up. Now you're 29? I think I was 28 then, so it was 24 to 28. So then I wake up in Melbourne, Australia, and I get an email that says Brooklyn Net Shooting Coach.
Starting point is 00:37:17 And I didn't know anybody from the net, so I literally thought it was somebody playing a joke. But I opened it up and that next week I'm in Brooklyn as their shooting coach. Stop it. Yeah, that's how you ended up there. That's how you ended there. Two months after the season started, I came on. Now, the crazy story is, now here's the other, the door closing for opening. So we go from 28th to second and 3.
Starting point is 00:37:36 Shooting percentage. Probably the worst culture at the time. Like, I can tell you crazy wild stories about NBA culture that they're just blow your mind, but anyways. No, that's what I want. Hello, that's what I find interesting. I don't want to hear about all this other like, I want to hear about that.
Starting point is 00:37:50 So let me tell you the truth about NBA cultures. And now it's obviously there's really good ones and that's the ones that are special and everybody wants to be, everybody says, yeah, it's all about culture, but until you actually realize what culture means, you can't just get there because here's the thing that stands in it's all about culture, but until you actually realize what culture means, you can't just get there. Because here's the thing that stands in the way
Starting point is 00:38:07 of every culture, whether it's business or sports. It's a three letter word called ego. Everybody has it. It's crazy. The trainers are holding players out, so they have impact on the game. The equipment managers aren't giving the right shoes, so they have, like, I could not believe, I was working with players because I love it.
Starting point is 00:38:27 That was my passion. There'd be assistant coaches that would come over to me and MF me telling me not to work with that player because that's their player. Are you kidding me? Aren't we all in the same page to try to win a championship? But it's very rare that everybody is on the same page. Most people from the outside looking in there think like, oh, NBA job, that's so great. And I had a great experience, but I would never go back.
Starting point is 00:38:49 No, kind of, I don't know if you know this. You know, I used to work for the NBA too. I didn't know that. Yeah, so it was my first job. Oh, I was a great friend of mine. Now you're just giving me this information. Well, because it was so irrelevant to anything else I've ever done.
Starting point is 00:39:00 It was my first job. And I was in like the sales team of like, I was like, I was really young. I was like 19 or 20, and I literally hustled my way into the job. I was so tenacious with the head of something. I found some big executive there, and I was like a dog with a bone. I'm like, I want to work. I was like, the first year the raptors were playing.
Starting point is 00:39:25 Yes. And it was like Tom Bitto. Oh no, what was the name of the person? I don't remember their own or whatever. Anyway, I was relentless. They're like, find this girl's so annoying. We're gonna give her a job. It sales and it was me and a bunch of guys.
Starting point is 00:39:40 And I crushed the guys. That's not my point. My point is everyone was so different than I expected. It's me within the culture. It is very cutthroat, very competitive. People were very like, very... Yeah, it's for them. Yeah, it was different.
Starting point is 00:39:56 They're totally cutthroat. It's like, they'd walk on eggshells and act like they're your friend, but you knew deep down like, you they were. Everyone was like, very two-faced, but I didn't know if it was just like corporate culture because I never had a job like that, or if it was like that culture. But I hated it.
Starting point is 00:40:10 Anyway, I'm digressing. So then go on. So then they, No, that's such a cool story. You had a story, okay, this, I have to ask this because this story blew my mind and I never heard it before. And it's probably me being a bad question asker
Starting point is 00:40:23 that I didn't get it out of you. But you had an Instagram story of how you reached out. It was some actor, big actor that you really looked up to and somehow they got back to you. You know what I'm talking about? It was Canary. That's the one. But you have to watch my TED talk. This is that to me is too long of a story. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. And we'll talk about it later, but yes, and that's like that, my whole TED talk was based on that. But more. Yeah, it was amazing. That was an amazing story.
Starting point is 00:40:50 But you and I are very similar, and that's why I appreciate so many things about what you do and how you've done it, because it's the same, it's the same tactics, I would say, that I would do it and I've done. So that's it, but go on. So then. It's habits and hustle,
Starting point is 00:41:05 that's what it really is. It actually really is that. It's the reason why it's called habits and hustle is because it's like, it is me personified, right? It's so good, that's so good, it makes a ton of sense now. Makes a ton of sense. Okay, so go on.
Starting point is 00:41:16 So then you're working there and like you were like, it was very kind of like competitive and hard with some of these with the equipment. Why would the equipment guy give you a hard time though? Ego, that's it. But about what? I don't wanna just stand. Great, me neither, you know?
Starting point is 00:41:31 But every, so there's two ends of the spectrum. It's you either have, let's say it's at 0% on the left, that is Ego all about yourself. On the right side is full alignment with God of who you are made to be. Every day you wake up and it's a battle to try to get to the right side. Society, everything is dragging us down to the ego. You need to do you, do you, your way, your way. But that's never the way.
Starting point is 00:41:56 And when it gets infested into teams and the corporations, psh, ego explodes. It doesn't matter what role you're in, everybody has it. So how long has you last? So to the end of the season, all right, we go from 28th to second and 3. shooting percentage. The GM is telling me, we'll give you a three year deal. I'm getting New York media hype of like this young up
Starting point is 00:42:15 and coming development coach. So I figured like, I'm in, look at me, like feeling myself and everything. And me being young and dumb, like if someone says, hey, we'll give you a three year contract, I was like, okay, let's sign now. But I'm like, all right, cool, I trust you. I go back home for a couple of weeks, you know,
Starting point is 00:42:30 in the off season, and then I come back to start the off season development workouts. New head coach comes in, boom, fired, just like that, ob-mout. And there's crazy stories with this head coach that comes full circle, and this guy Kenny Atkinson. It's a crazy, a couple crazy stories of lessons that I learned there, but I get fired. So it's the one door closing, four open in a beach from patio overlooking the ocean. I'm devastated at the time.
Starting point is 00:42:57 I thought I was in the NBA. That was my goal. I thought I was in forever and good, you know. So then I come out to Los Angeles and I'm working for UCLA, a friend of my coach UCLA, and then I meet this guy, Casey Wasserman, and he brings me on to work with all his top NBA players. I know Casey Wasserman.
Starting point is 00:43:14 Yes, Casey's awesome. Yes. So it's Casey, the kid that started Wasserman group, right? Casey started Wasserman group, yep, yep. So I started working for his training NBA players. It's all these amazing talented players. I ended up meeting my wife and like all this would not have happened. Had I still been in Brooklyn coaching for the Nets.
Starting point is 00:43:32 So you weren't even there very long in Brooklyn? Yeah. No, I was there for 10 months. That's nothing. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay. And then you got here. You did all these other place.
Starting point is 00:43:41 Who is the biggest player that you worked with? That I worked with like as through a year or that I had on the court training because there's a different like I'll never say a lot of NBA Trainers will be like whoever steps on the court is my guy. I won't do that. Okay. No, no, no. Just name me a name that you actually worked with. Yeah, so Jeremy Lin's one of my closest friends. I've worked with him for a long time. Kyle Corbin on the top shooters in NBA history, Gordon Hayward, Norm Powell, I've worked with for 10 years. All shooting. Kelly Lennick.
Starting point is 00:44:10 Skills. Skills. So not just shooting. It's like dribbling, playmaking, high IQ situation. So it's how you can become the best on the basketball court. Okay, wait a minute. Do you know Drew Hanlon? One of my very good friends.
Starting point is 00:44:23 I have a crazy story with Drew of knowing him for 15 years and being jealous of him. And just like, I really resent a Drew, because he'd always get better players than me. Yeah. And then he's really, he's like, isn't it one of the best in the business? Yes, he's amazing.
Starting point is 00:44:35 He's just a great guy. And then like, I met him and I was like, this dude's really cool. I like this guy. I was like, why was I resenting him? And then we put our forces together. Now we've become really good friends. I'm I'm helping him on some stuff with his book. He's got a podcast out now.
Starting point is 00:44:49 He's awesome. Yeah, he's awesome. He was actually one of my first guests on this podcast. Super cool. That's so you were so you were doing what he was doing basically. Yeah. Pretty much the same thing. He would just get all stars. Yeah. I mean, I get up for you all stars. But he had everybody like Jason Tatum, Joelle and B. Yeah. Is he still doing it though? Still doing it, yeah, still doing it. He would tell me he would watch hours and hours footage.
Starting point is 00:45:14 Yeah. Like crazy. Yeah, so there's a lot to it. So that's when I realized, it was a summertime of 2018, and I was, or 2019, and I was training, I had like 28, like superstar, big time, NBA plays, like all of Wasserman's guys and other guys came in for pickup runs and I was running the pickup runs, training them.
Starting point is 00:45:35 And I just realized like, I'm not excited about doing this anymore. I literally passed out from exhaustion one time on court. I just, like, I did not want to wake up and go to the gym the next day. And that would have been my dream job, but I realized it wasn't about the training
Starting point is 00:45:48 and like the step back jumper or the dribbling ball move that I loved. I loved encouraging and seeing players get excited about something bigger than just the tangibles of the basketball court, their mind, their confidence. I was like, ooh, I like this. And I was gifted at it. I was able to really reach them and actually give them this true,
Starting point is 00:46:08 like, create these, figure out these tools inside them to be able to use for a bigger purpose. It's like, well, basketball players need it. I'm sure other people could use this too. So I got a friend, became a friend, John Gordon, who's done amazing things for me. And he's a huge author and speaker. And he showed me how to do it.
Starting point is 00:46:27 And then I have a crazy wild story of how I actually got my first keynote talk, which is wild in itself. But I realized that's what I was passionate about doing. Wait, so then let's get it back. Let's circle it back to this Gary guy. Because I still don't know how he helped you. So you sound like you went on your own.
Starting point is 00:46:44 And what did he end up doing for you then. So he introduced me to so many NBA people. So Eric Spolster for the Miami Heat's a very good friend of mine from Gary Sacks. I end up getting the net's job through Gary Sacks referrals. They were looking for a development guy and it came from Gary. And then there's just why didn't Gary hire you for the Clippers? Because so Doc Rivers came on. And when Doc came on, Doc took full autonomy. So Doc now became the guy who made every single decision. So Gary was the acting GM, but Doc was like the president, the coach, the actual GM.
Starting point is 00:47:19 So he no longer had that decision making power. Got it. And then how much do you guys get paid as shooting coaches? Or... I was getting... It just, it really varies. So as a shooting coach, I was getting 10,000 a month. So not great.
Starting point is 00:47:33 So no matter how many people you train. No. So yeah, in the NBA, for the next, no matter how, yeah, it's... That's your salary. Yeah. But it varies. Like if you're first assistant, you're probably making between five and eight hundred thousand
Starting point is 00:47:47 If you're second assistant it just scales down I'm fine first assistant. Yeah, I don't know exactly what it is But it'll keep scaling down to like if you're sixth or seventh assistant It's probably like a hundred thousand a hundred and fifty thousand. It's not that much So when you're doing individuals for the Wasserman group, how are you gonna pay through that? Is it the Wasserman group? Is are you going to pay through that? Is it the Wasserman group? Are you one retainer for them? Or, okay, you are. And how much you get paid on the retainer with that.
Starting point is 00:48:10 Not anywhere close to what I should have made, any paid. I think, of course. We all know that. But like, what it was like. It was low, it wasn't high, it wasn't high. Like, give me a range, give me a range. Because that's what people want to know. They want to know what I'm going to do.
Starting point is 00:48:22 Yeah, yeah, yeah. So they term did, I love the Washer Major, so let's just put it that way, but they termed it as a part-time job. I would say part-time no chance. It was completely full-time job. Yeah, of course it was. It was 6,000 a month.
Starting point is 00:48:34 Okay, and how many hours were you working part-time? Holy geez, 7 a.m. to sometimes 8 p.m. Jesus, that ended up, wow. Because you would be a break, but then you'd come back in the evenings and if anybody player wanted to train, it was, I mean, Casey Wasserman, what do you do?
Starting point is 00:48:51 I mean, you're really, you're like, you're like when the richest guys in the world would you doing? He didn't really do much with them, with like, he kind of oversees everything. It wasn't just- I know, he wasn't like day to day, I understand. I love Casey, that's the part.
Starting point is 00:49:02 I'm just kidding, I'm just kidding, Casey. I'm just kidding, Casey. More from our guests, but first a few words from our sponsor. With pricing, skyrocketing right now, I am so thrilled to tell you about every plate. Seriously, their meals are 50% cheaper than your average fast casual meal, and you can customize meals to your liking with options to swap proteins and sides. Or you can add a protein to veggie dishes each week. You just need to do you.
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Starting point is 00:51:30 Okay, so then that's what you're doing and then that's how you kind of like transcend it into more of not just basketball, but like people in general. Okay, I get that. Wait, I have another question because I remember isn't your someone you're involved with at the raptors, like an uncle or? Yeah, so that's what I was saying with the raptors. He's a head coach for the raptors now. Okay, so how did that happen? How was your uncle? And is it like a real uncle or like? It's a real one.
Starting point is 00:51:51 Not just like someone's friend of the family. He was my mentor, I lived with him, he was my best friend. And when did your mom's brother? My dad's brother, yeah. And he's a head coach. Head coach, yep, yep. So when did that happen?
Starting point is 00:52:02 Did that help you? Did you not get involved with him? Like, you know. No, so he was in the so he was just kind of starting in the NBA G league. So he wasn't anywhere close to the NBA. So he didn't have, I mean, he had connections, but it wasn't really like a... How are you both doing the same? How did he get that?
Starting point is 00:52:19 His story is wild, and I tell the story is like an overnight success story. So people looked at him because he won the NBA championship wild and I tell this story is like a overnight success story so People looked at him because he won the NBA championship as a head coach for the Toronto Raptors in his first head coaching season in the NBA So it was like oh lightning strikes in a bottle of lucky you got so lucky no He'd been a head coach for 27 years in countries like England. I went over there to Brighton England where he like nobody Knows you play basketball on Brighton. He was taping players, anchors, ankles, pop and popcorn in a half time. I kid you not.
Starting point is 00:52:49 It was like dark, damp arenas. But everywhere he went, crazy places, taking zero money as a head coach. He believed he was going to be an NBA head coach. Like, he fully believed in, he lived in that. Like, we're talking about that self-efficacy. He lived in that every day. And eventually it happened,
Starting point is 00:53:06 he'd prepared his ass off for that. So he was an overnight success in 27 years. Yeah, yeah, yeah, everybody sees that. Yeah. Nobody sees the 27 years before. Wow, how old is he? 55. Is he still there?
Starting point is 00:53:19 Yeah, yeah, he won the coach of the year, a couple of years ago. I remember. Yeah, he's awesome. He's one of the best coaches. So has he been able to like, now, why don't you go, can't you be training the raptors now? Yeah, I mean, probably, I don't ask that.
Starting point is 00:53:33 I don't know. Because they kind of obvious, like, what do you say? Hey, nephew of mine, I know this is what you do for a living normally. I know you're doing all these things now, but do you want to? It's a good point. You've never asked him? I've never asked him that. I just kind of... It probably sounds weird to most people, but I've seen him
Starting point is 00:53:52 be very successful. I'll just let you do your thing, man. If he wants it, he knows he can ask, but I don't ever want to push it for him. You've never had the conversation? I'm actually... That is crazy, right? I've actually never had that conversation. And I've trained some of his players just because the players have reached out to me, but I've never, I've never said anything. Are you guys close? We're close.
Starting point is 00:54:14 Okay, I heard how your voice went up. We're close, meaning I'm not so close with them. Okay, I have enough said there back to the book because that's like, we're close means not that close. Okay, let there, back to the book, because that's like, what, we're close? It means, no, not that close. Okay, let's go back to the book then, because now I have all the information that I need about that. Let's talk more, give me a couple, let's wrap it up.
Starting point is 00:54:35 Let's give me a couple more just archetypes of action people, and then we can, I'll let you out of here. Let's go with the perfectionist and the test believer. How's those two? Good ones, good ones, good ones. Okay, the perfectionist is, I mean, that is someone who literally thinks they have to have everything spot on
Starting point is 00:54:51 before they can even take the first step. And there's never going to be anything that you have together perfectly before you're able to go. And it's such a debilitating thing to have. I just, I don't know, that one drives me nuts that people can't just see that. You learn so much along the way.
Starting point is 00:55:09 What's the saying, ready, fire aim? Ready, fire aim. Fire, fire aim. As opposed to ready aim, fire. Yeah, and so people hold themselves back from, like, if the only way you learn something and like, let's say you're starting a business, is you're going to fail.
Starting point is 00:55:26 There's a stat of the super successful, super successful multi-billionaire business owners that started businesses like Henry Ford, Walt Disney, a ton of these guys. They went through 7.2 massive roadblocks, meaning bankruptcies, failures, all these different things. Like Starbucks, there was a butcher this number, but it was like 17 Starbucks stores in the first 18 years.
Starting point is 00:55:51 Now there's a Starbucks on every corner and Starbucks within Starbucks. I know, that's interesting. You're in the first 18 years, only. Are you sure that number is... It's either 18 or 19 years. It's something that will blow your mind. I might have it all by one year,
Starting point is 00:56:03 but it's very, very close on that, yeah. You're right, like now, like, it's something that will blow your mind. I might have it all by one year, but it's very, very close on that. That's, you're right. Like, now, like, it's like weird. Like, you go to a Starbucks, it's literally Starbucks in the Starbucks. You know how much I hate that when I type in Starbucks, and it says me to Target. I know, like, I don't want to. It's 100%. It's 100%.
Starting point is 00:56:17 Like, right here, you can go to, there's a Starbucks in, like, Ralph's or wherever. Yeah. Add a target, and then Starbucks in the target, and a regular Starbucks. You don't know what Starbucks is. Three Starbucks looking on the same pin that you're on. But the point being is they went through seven point two massive roadblocks.
Starting point is 00:56:34 They didn't have it together perfectly. They learned how to continue to improve and improve, but people don't see that part of it. Right, and so how do people get over and how do people get over that hump, like a tool, give me one. The tool, I can't actually remember, this sounds bad as writing the own book.
Starting point is 00:56:51 I can't remember the exact tool I gave for that one. There's a lot of different ways to get over perfectionism, and it's one of the biggest ways is just, oh, I do remember this one, Jen, it came back to me. It's your failure notes. So instead of celebrating successes, I do remember this one, Janet, came back to me. It's your failure notes. So instead of celebrating successes, because most people will celebrate success, right?
Starting point is 00:57:10 So it's a celebration of your failures. So you're literally, anytime you fail, you're writing it down in your journal and you're celebrating the opposite, you're celebrating the failures. And those failures ultimately are going to lead you to having it the way it's supposed to be, or that you're actually able to bring impact through what you're doing. So it's a journal of celebration of failures. That's your tool.
Starting point is 00:57:36 That is okay. And then what's, let's do that last one. The test believer. So the test believer is somebody who will look at the horoscopes or the iniogram and they'll think, well, since that's what it says about me, that's who I am. Right? You've seen those people like horoscopes, like, oh, well, Mercury is in retrograde, so I just, you know, I'm not going to have a good month. Yes. Or, you know what the- That's so funny. Someone just said that to me yesterday. I'm like, come on. Mercury's
Starting point is 00:58:04 in retrograde, like like half the year. So that's always that you're a full-backed. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So the tool for this one's a hilarious one too. You'll like this one. But before we get to that point, and it is called Go Retrograde, the tool for this one. Okay.
Starting point is 00:58:18 But the one that really kills me is when people say, well, I can't go out and meet people. I'm an introvert. Yeah. I'm so- No, no, no, no, no, no, well, I can't go out and meet people. I'm an introvert. Yeah. I'm so good. No, no, no, no, no, no, no. I mean, you might get your energy from being alone, but that doesn't mean you can't go talk to somebody.
Starting point is 00:58:34 People will put that label on themselves. I'm introverted. I'm extroverted. And that's who they are. And that's who they live in. And every decision is based through that. I think that's a bunch of BS. Right.
Starting point is 00:58:44 So when you just label yourself with you basically paint this brush of like, this is who I am, and therefore I can't step out because that's gives you an excuse to stay where you are basically. Yeah, or the Myers-Briggs, that's the story of this one of Catherine Briggs, of how this came to be,
Starting point is 00:59:00 and how she was labeling herself and finally figured out like, well, this is actually a bunch of BS which needs to stop in LA because it's getting out of control and I'm not going to pay taxes anymore for keeps raining. It's beyond. Yeah well we're the last ones here anyway show. Yeah. We should close the lights and then because it's like nobody's in LA anymore but anyway go on. Okay sorry. So basically how do you get over that? So yeah, the Go Retrograde one is just this is more of an awareness tool of it and it shows every single like
Starting point is 00:59:31 Description of Myers-Briggs. It shows every day description of any a gram It shows every description of horoscopes and you see all of these things written out there and you're able to pick Which ones stand out to you, and it ends up being literally like coming from all different things, and it's, you're never just one. The point of it is showing that you are not just one. Like, you'll select which ones apply to you,
Starting point is 00:59:58 and it's this whole mishmash, and you're like, oh, well, I guess I can't be labeled as just whatever this says. Right. So it's supposed to give you that awareness. Supposed to. Supposed to. And we know that you said that you
Starting point is 01:00:10 at the beginning of this podcast, you said your number one, right? You were. The Al is that so phobic. Now I don't care at all about other things. That is an advantage. No, I'm not that. I see what I be.
Starting point is 01:00:20 I'm not. There's different situations where I'm some different things. I mean, it's going to sound bad if I say I'm not any there's different situations where I'm some different things. I mean, it's gonna sound bad if I say I'm not any of them right now. I guess I would be more of the, you know what? I'll give it to like, maybe I'm more of the inopportune where sometimes I want, and it's not even that as much as like I want things to happen faster than they do.
Starting point is 01:00:42 And I think, well, am I too young to be that? I don't know. I don't know. How old do you think I am? I think you're 37? Oh, it was so close, 36. Really? That was a good kiss.
Starting point is 01:00:55 Wow, okay, well, you're so young. So you should be, maybe you are too young because there are things that I think, that's what I think, that's what I think. I think that I feel like you've done a lot though. Yeah, I feel I've been doing it for a long time. Like I've been doing this 12, 13 years. You're gonna talk to your uncle.
Starting point is 01:01:13 And I know, I think that's what, maybe that's the one we need to come with. Maybe it's the blamer, maybe I'm blaming somebody. No, I don't, I think this is a part. I'm not a bird. What would it be like you're not taking your self-doubt is stopping you so it would be the, maybe you're not the district at the underestimator.
Starting point is 01:01:32 That could be the one. I don't know if I'm the underestimator. I was for a while. Maybe, well, what if you underestimate what your uncle will say? Ooh. Is that possible? Could possibly be.
Starting point is 01:01:43 Yeah. I mean, have you, how how often and I'm really curious. That's so funny. I'm gonna go back to your uncle here. Here we are, like it's like the pink elephant in the room. Here you are, you know, like you're making all these contacts within the NBA, you're working for like $4.50 with Casey Wasserman, sorry Casey.
Starting point is 01:02:01 And you're playing out with doing all these things, writing all these books. Your uncle is literally what is considered the best coach in the NBA right now, won the championship with the Raptors. And yet, you're not hitting him up. You'll hit everybody else up to help with everything because that's your nature. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Starting point is 01:02:20 In a good, nice way. But the one person who has the chops and the ability to help you, you're not doing it. So I'm not really that interested in getting back into the NBA, nor am I of gaining this massive NBA client per Jew Hanlon as much. So I don't have that desire. Does he work with Jew Hanlon? I don't know.
Starting point is 01:02:42 I don't think so. I mean, I don't think Jew works directly with any coat. I don't think so. He knows them. He just works with the players. That I don't know. I don't think so. I mean, I don't think Drew works directly with any coach. I don't think so. He knows them. He just works with the players. Yeah, that's right, man. So I talked to Nick and we, like, we communicate. We share ideas.
Starting point is 01:02:52 I watched them win the NBA championship together. Did you go to the game? Oh, yeah. I was there celebrating in the locker room with them. I was there at the hotel with him to 4 a.m. It's like, after he was celebrating playing his keyboard, like he always does. I didn't, after he was celebrating playing his keyboard, like he always does. I didn't even know what was going on really,
Starting point is 01:03:07 to the monstrosity of what just happened to me in Canada. So my desire isn't there as much. And I mean, I don't think it's like, it's not necessarily like, what am I gonna ask? Like, hey, bring me on to coach, but I don't wanna coach. No, no, not bring my, but. What can I ask? Give me something good to ask, can I ask? I to coach. No, no, not bring my, but. What can I ask? Give me something good to ask, and I'll ask.
Starting point is 01:03:25 I'm gonna think about it. I'm gonna think about it. I'm gonna think about something. Because now my brain is like ruminating over this. And I'm gonna get back to you. I promise you I'm gonna get back to you. Because there's like a disconnect to me here that there's like a disconnect.
Starting point is 01:03:39 And I'm gonna figure it out, and I'm gonna get back to you on it. This is good. Yes, because I've heard that a couple times, I'm like, why don't I understand? Because I didn't know the chronological order of your career really. I knew you were at the Brooklyn Nets,
Starting point is 01:03:50 and then you did this. And so where is, by the way, to wrap this up into a nice tiny bow, where is Gary now? Is he still at the Clippers? No, so he is one of the Scouts, one of the head Scouts with a Charlotte Hornets, but he's still in LA, so he's like the West Coast Scout kind of scouting manager.
Starting point is 01:04:07 Oh, interesting. Interesting. I still see him all the time. We have Barbecue's. He's the nicest guy there is. So you don't want it. So what's next for you besides writing those? Good question.
Starting point is 01:04:19 More books are coming. Whatever Jen writes, I'm gonna take it and steal it. Now I'm gonna do it. That's it. I'm gonna do a show. I'm gonna take it and steal it. Now I'm gonna do it. That's it. I'm gonna do a show. I'm gonna do a show. I've got some different show concepts. Okay.
Starting point is 01:04:30 I've got some different shows. That's gonna come down. You're gonna have a show on all the ways you stole my content. That's it. Reality show. I am, Jen, Cohen. Exactly. That'll be on Netflix in 2024.
Starting point is 01:04:43 No, so you're gonna write this book. What else? I mean, after this book, what else is that? Got another book that's coming on. in 2024. No, so you're gonna write this book. What else? I mean, after this book, what else is that? Got another book that's coming on. I've already started working on that. And then the show concepts, which I'm not going to share what those are in case somebody steals those before I actually get those made.
Starting point is 01:04:56 So, but they're in there. Okay, fair, fair. What else? Going to Bora Bora for our wedding anniversary, me and my wife. That's nice. Super excited about that. I love it going for it.
Starting point is 01:05:06 10 days. Very nice. The huts. Beautiful. Oh my gosh. OK, so have you been, I feel like you've been to every island? I've been nowhere, first of all.
Starting point is 01:05:13 If I have not been there, actually. I wish I was. I really have. I want to go though, especially I'm looking outside to this horrible rain. Oh my god, it is raining again. It's raining like every, it's like, it doesn't stop here. My house is like falling in, it's like a money pit.
Starting point is 01:05:28 The ceiling has literally fallen in. It's like, I have like, it's flooding on every direction which is why I need to like wrap this and go check it out. But it was a pleasure having you in my podcast. Yeah, this was so much fun. No, it really was. I'm happy that we got to do this. Do we get to hang out in person sometime?
Starting point is 01:05:43 Yeah, we can do it. We take this like friendship to the next level. We can. Hey, let's was. I'm happy that we got to do this. Do we get to hang out in person sometime? Yeah. We can do it. We take this like friendship to the next level. We can. Hey, let's hang. We can. Let's kick it. We can do it. We can definitely, now that I've met you in person,
Starting point is 01:05:53 we can definitely hang out again. Yeah. This is exciting. So tell everybody, Mr. David, where they can find you in your book. DavidNurse.com. Obviously here at Jen Cohen's studio right now. If you're creeping.
Starting point is 01:06:08 Yes. Yes. Anywhere books are sold, podcasts, the David Nursho social media. Pretty easy to be found. The basics. The basics. Yes. Well, thank you. I think we can wrap.
Starting point is 01:06:23 Thank you. Thank you very much. Hope you enjoyed this episode. I'm Heather Monahan, host of Creating Confidence, a part of the YAP Media Network, the number one business and self-improvement podcast network. Okay, so I want to tell you a little bit about my show. We are all about elevating your confidence to its highest level ever and taking your business right there with you. Don't believe me. I'm going to go ahead and share some of the reviews of the show so you can believe my
Starting point is 01:06:52 listeners. I have been a longtime fan of Heather's no matter what phase of life I find myself in, Heather seems to always have the perfect gems of wisdom that not only inspire but motivate me into action. Her experience and personality are unmatched, and I love her go getter attitude. This show has become a staple in my life. I recommend it to anyone looking to elevate their confidence
Starting point is 01:07:14 and reach that next level. Thank you! I recently got to hear Heather at a live podcast taping with her and Tracy Hayes, and I immediately subscribe to this podcast. It has not disappointed, and I cannot wait to listen to as many has not disappointed, and I cannot wait to listen to as many as I can, as quick as I can.
Starting point is 01:07:27 Thank you Heather for helping us build confidence and bring so much value to the space. If you are looking to up your confidence level, click creating confidence now.

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