Habits and Hustle - Episode 236: How To Become Bolder

Episode Date: April 28, 2023

What does it mean to be bold? In this solo episode of Habits and Hustle, I chat with you about what it means to be bold and how you can build your way up to taking bigger, better, and bolder actions. I also share why there’s no need for you to be afraid of coming off as rude when you’re acting bold; there is a big difference between the two. What we discuss: 00:37: What does it mean to be bold? 02:01: What are some examples of being bold? 05:48: What’s the difference between being bold and rude? 09:33: What is a thirst trap? My links: Website: https://www.jennifercohen.com/ Instagram: @therealjencohen  Book: https://www.jennifercohen.com/bigger-better-bolder Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

When there's a penalty on the field, referees are there to sort it out. When there's an accident on the road... Sergeant Lindros, I'm glad you're okay. That's where USAA steps in. We help make the claims process easy, so drivers can get back on the road fast. Making the right calls. That's what we're made for. Membership eligibility and product restrictions apply in our subject to change. USAA means United Services Automobile Association and its affiliates and Antonio Texas. You're getting a diploma.

You can't eat a diploma, but you can eat wings and charles. Get 23% off any order of 30 or 50 piece wings when you use promo code 23 grad at Charlie's dot com. That's promo code 23GRAD at Charlie's dot com. Charlie's has wings. Hi guys, it's Tony Robbins. You're listening to habits and hustle, crush it. Okay we're back for more solos with my foil, Shawnee. Woohoo, thank you for listening. By the way, before I forget, because I tend to, guys, it would be great if you guys can

leave a review, a comment on this episode or any episodes and if you haven't subscribed, please subscribe. It makes such a difference, so I'd appreciate it. Now let's jump in. And join the Facebook group. And join the Facebook group. Okay, so today we're going to talk about being bold. And you know why?

Interestingly enough, I've been on a lot of podcasts talking about being bold. My book is obviously called Bigger Better Bolder. But yet I don't think I've ever actually done an episode or spoken about really what bold is on my own podcast. So I thought that today can be a time that we can delve into the idea of what boldness is just a little bit and kind of share the boldness message on my podcast. What do you think? I love that, I think that's a great idea. Don't you?

I think it's a bold idea. I think it's a very bold idea. So the first part here is, what is being bold? People ask me all the time what it means to be bold, and what I wanna share with people is that boldness is a skill like anything else, you want to get good at tennis If you want to get good at Spanish Karate I don't care pick your modality. It's something that you have to do over and over again

You got to practice it just like like being bold and you don't need to be born bold people tend to think that you're either born bold or you're not and I believe that you can harness this no matter what kind of personality you have. That's what I have you here for that. Can you give us an example of something bold that someone could do in an everyday situation? Absolutely. I can. So, anybody can practice this by doing these little bold moves daily.

So, what I'm thinking is because we want to always give people these actionable, practical things to improve themselves. I would say, if you're someone who needs to work on that boldness muscle, a really easy step is to pick something really small that you do every day, like your cell phone, like calling your cell service provider, and seeing if there's any other package that you can be on that may save you money, that may be a better plan for you by just making that one call. It's getting you primed for asking for bigger things in life. So if you are not comfortable asking for little things, how are you ever gonna be comfortable asking

for the big things in life? And that's truly the message here, is that you need to be practicing by getting better at something, by doing small steps daily to increase your, I guess, your ability at it, like anything else. And I think we also have to get very comfortable with being okay with the word no, and being okay if we don't succeed. Because

the truth is that a lot of times we may not get to that actual goal, and that's okay. But by going through the motions, other things open themselves up, other opportunities happen by you going down the path of being bold. I like that. Being okay with the rejection or the failure just because, I mean, no matter what, how many of those times you go out there and put yourself there, you're going to succeed at least a number of them. Well, I think the way I look at it is more about the idea that you want to become distensitized

to the idea of rejection and failing or rejection in general, right? And the only way to become distensitized to something is if it happens over and over again, right? If you never get rejected and then you get rejected, it's like, oh my god, it's like a huge sting. But if it's happened over and over and over again, you're kind of like, all right, onto the next, onto the next. And that's really what the idea of this 10% target that I'm a real believer in and why I wrote the book. And my TED talk is all around this idea of making 10 attempts at whatever you want most

to get not only to get to that goal, because like I said, most of the time, you may not even get to that goal, but it primes you for that idea of, you know what, like, either you will get to the goal or another opportunity will present itself, but also you'll become more comfortable with the idea of failure, the idea of rejection. You become immune to that feeling because you've already like primed yourself for the, okay, I'm going to be doing making these 10 attempts. So you're already in that in that

mindset. And also then you don't live with the regret of having not tried, which is so much worse. Oh my God, of course. I mean, that's always much worse. To the hundred percent, like, wouldn't you rather have went after something versus the idea of like, what if I did? What? What could have? What versus the idea of like what if I did what what could I what you know if I did this or if I should have done that that to me is way way worse because that's like gut feel it That's a guttural feeling that lives with you forever Like not maximizing on your potential to me at the end of your life is way worse than at the end of your life is way worse than attempting and going after something and not getting it and failing and rejection is always way worse and is always way better, I should say,

that we're great. Completely. So how can people differentiate between being bold and being rude? Because I feel like a lot of times that's a question that comes up, well, how do you ask for something while being assertive without being too aggressive or overly rude about something? Well, you know what? It's so funny because everyone always, there's like such a negative connotation

with the idea of what boldness is. Like, why is there a negative connotation with someone who asks for what they want, who is deliberate in going after something, who, you know who is assertive. I think there's so many, but those are all euphemisms that I don't believe have anything to do with being, I don't think that necessarily being bold necessarily means being rude, but I do believe there is that negative connotation.

And I believe that who cares? Like if someone's going to say that, then you know, first of all, like, where are they coming from? A lot of times when people's opinion is that, it's because they themselves don't have the courage yet to be bold. So then that's why they see it as being rude, right? And also, it's not what you say, it's how you say it.

You can really get away with saying anything if you say it nicely. Don't you think? Like, there's a matter of, like, you can be, you can really get away with saying anything if you say it nicely. Don't you think? Like, doesn't matter. Like, you can be, you can say something super sweet, like you could be like, you are fat ugly bit. Thank you. That's so sweet. Oh my god, thank you so much. Or you could end it with just kidding. People get away with everything by just saying it at the end. I hate when people do that. That drives me bonkers. The just kidding at the end is so annoying. It's so annoying.

First of all, you're not just kidding. And also, like, there's a lot of truth in just. There's always truth. People think that they can say anything if they just add the two words just kidding at the end. Or LOL. They'll be like, and then they'll just say LOL at the end of something. Oh, LOL.

Like last series. LOL is more for that's like the text version of just kidding. Oh, people use it in real life now. Who says LOL in real life? Oh my goodness. Oh my god. They will actually, yeah, they will flat out

just be like LOL. When you download the Kroger app, you have easy access to savings every day. Get the most out of weekly sales and receive personalized coupons toward your favorite items, all while earning one fuel point for every dollar spent. Because shopping at Croger, whether in-store or online, is easy, and saving money is even easier with the Croger app. So get the most value out of every trip every time.

Download the Croger app now to save big. Croger, fresh for everyone. Let's have a digital account to redeem offers. Restrictions may apply, see site for details. This episode is brought to you by Shopify. That's the sound of switching your business to Shopify. The global commerce platform that supercharges your selling. Harness the best converting checkout

and same intuitive features, trusted apps, and powerful analytics used by the world's leading brands, stop leaving sales on the table. Discover why millions trust Shopify to build, grow, and run their business. Sign up today for your $1 per month trial period at Shopify.com slash tech23. This episode is brought to you by Nerds Candy, calling all the gaming tech-savvy nerds out there. The team carriers and keyboard warriors, the achievement hunters and part-time larpers, the tech wizards and boss destroyers.

When nerds come together, we live louder, leveling up in our own way. So let's raise our nerds in unison. The sweet tangy, crunchy candy that's perfect for sharing. Nerds, shake things up. Shop now at nerdscandy.com. Are you, because you know why this is happening? Because people have lost the ability to socialize in real time, in real life. So like they're just taking their normal text verbage and now speaking it like real like real conversation. 100% if anyone said to me LOL I think right actually people have said to me and I've looked at them like what the hell are you saying? It's a thing it's a thing yeah.

They use IRL like the people will use that I haven't heard. Oh yeah and in that in the FT world it's very common because there's a lot of the online communities so when you do like an IRL event, they literally will just say an IRL event. That's so crazy to me. So like to me, LOL is truthfully like the way you would normally say just kidding in real life. You just would say the word LOL on the thing.

But all these like, all these vernacular, or like slaying words. You gotta give me a truly, I'm losing track of like, I just got a few of them. Like I heard, I learned thirsty. Oh, thirsty, sure. Thirsty is like, that one is the good one. Yeah, that's the good one.

Have you heard of this trap, thirst trap? No, thirst trap? Yeah, thirst trap is one. You didn't know about a thirst trap? No, thirst trap. Yeah, there's trap is one. You didn't know about a third strap? No, I didn't know. There's just about their straps. Welcome to the world. You know, but if there's trap, they're all over it.

All those fitness people, you follow post their straps all the time. Really? Thirst traps? Yeah. And there's those guys that are posting picks without their shirts on. Like, come on, you're such a thirst trap. I will have what a girl can make. What do our girls do? Yeah, there's traps.

Where do they do? Yeah. What do you mean? They're like, it's a're such a thirst trap. How about a girl? What do our girls do if there's a track by just thinking? Where do they do? What do you mean? It's a wouldn't it, Kate, define? Okay, let's define what thirst trap is. So to me, okay, there's intentional and unintentional thirst traps. You could just look really good in a photo and post it

and people will be like, oh, what a thirst trap. But to me, a thirst trap is specifically something that you post in order to attract the attention of somebody, like in order to attract the attention of somebody, like in order to, or many people, like you're trying to specifically evoke some sort of like sexuality, sensuality, some sort of something to either attract your crush or to attract a couple guys, like, or girls, or whatever.

You're basically wheeling them in. You're basically trying to wheel them in. Yeah, okay. Does the other trying to wheel them in. Yeah. Okay. Does the other one I was like, hold on. I've posted things that are not at all thirst traps per se. Okay. They're not like revealing or anything, but I've literally specifically posted them for

specific people. Like I would consider that a thirst trap in my opinion. Oh what do you mean? So you posted me so if someone else would like notice you basically, yeah, yeah, but you mean exactly. But it's like specifically geared towards someone. So for example, if I'm like, put it on your actual social media, if I'm like, one person to you basically. Yeah, yeah, but it's like specifically geared towards someone. So for example, if I put it on your actual social media, we're about one person to see it.

Yeah, yeah. So if I have like an inside joke with someone, you know what I mean? Like, I don't know about like a specific food or whatever. And then like I post a specific photo. I mean, I've only done this a few times, but and I'll post like a photo of me like eating the food. Like that is geared towards one person. And sometimes I'll actually directly send it to them.

I love it. Okay, give me is geared towards one person. And sometimes I'll actually directly send it to them. I love it. Okay, give me another one, another one. Well, oh hold on, wait, don't. I want to do a whole episode on this. Okay, should we just do this right now? Sure, just do a whole other episode on this? Yeah. Let's do a whole other episode on that.

Okay, so should we end this right now? Yeah, let's end this right now. Okay, so I'm gonna say, so this episode is basically about how to be bold and Thirst and then how to thirst trap. Yeah, that's basically what your guide to Thirst yeah, your guide to thirst trapping it what it actually means and are you doing it and and tune in to the next episode to find out more Slang words. Yeah next episode is gonna be like the hottest slang words of 2023 so far That's what we're gonna be covering. That's 30 year old. I feel like you're even too old for this.

I think I do. I know, I got embarrassing. But you know what, don't forget to subscribe, so hit the subscribe button, leave a review, leave a comment, and if you wanna hear more about thirst trapping by itself, let us know. Yeah. Yeah. Thank you so much for listening to this week's solo episode. And if you like this, I know you will like, hopefully, love my book, Bigger, Better,

Boulder. And why? It's because it's time for you to start living the life you want, and not just the life you get. I not only help you answer the questions like, what do you want? Most in life, and why don't you have it. But I also help you make it a reality. The link is in the show notes for you to easily check it out now. And thank you again for being here and spending time with me. Now, go show up to your life and live a bit bolder today. [♪ Music playing, music playing, music playing, music playing, music playing, music playing, music playing, music playing, music playing, music playing, music playing, music playing, music playing, music playing, music playing, music playing, music playing, music playing, music playing, music playing, music playing, music playing, music playing, music playing, music playing, music playing, music playing, music playing, music playing, music playing, music playing, music playing, music playing, music playing, music playing, music playing, music playing, music playing, music playing, music playing, music playing, music playing, music playing, music playing, music playing, music playing, music playing, music playing, music playing, music playing, music playing, music playing, music playing, music playing, music playing, music playing, music playing, music playing, music playing, music playing, music playing, music playing, music playing, music playing, music playing, music playing, music playing, music playing, music playing, music playing, music playing, music playing, music playing, music playing, music playing, music playing, music playing, music playing, music playing, music playing, music playing, music playing, music playing, music playing, music playing, music playing, music playing, music playing, music playing, music playing, music playing, music playing, music playing, music playing, music playing, music playing, music playing, music playing, music playing, music playing, music playing, music playing, music playing, music playing, music playing, music playing, music playing, music playing, music playing, music playing, music playing, music playing, music playing, music playing, music playing, music playing, music playing, music playing, music playing, music playing, music playing, music playing, music playing, music playing, music playing, music playing, music playing, music playing, music playing, music playing, music playing, music playing, music playing, music playing, a part of the YAP media network, the number one business and self-improvement podcast network. Okay, so I want to tell you a little bit about my show. We are all about elevating your confidence to its highest level ever and taking your business

right there with you. Don't believe me? I'm going to go ahead and share some of the reviews of the show so you can believe my listeners. I have been a longtime fan of Heather's, no matter what phase of life I find myself in, Heather seems to always have the perfect gems of wisdom that not only inspire, but motivate me into action. Her experience and personality are unmatched and I love her go getter attitude. This show has become a staple in my life. I recommend it to anyone looking to elevate their confidence and reach that next level.

Thank you! I recently got to hear Heather at a live podcast taping with her and Tracy Hayes, and I immediately subscribe to this podcast. It has not disappointed, and I cannot wait to listen to as many as I can as quick as I can. Thank you, Heather, for helping us build confidence and bring so much value to the space.

If you are looking to up your confidence level, click creating confidence now. Whether you're doing a dance to your favorite artist in the office parking lot, or being guided into Warrior 1 in the break room before your shift, whether you're running on your Peloton tread at your mom's house while she watches the baby, or counting your breaths on the subway. Peloton inhaling and long exhale out. Peloton is for all of us, wherever we are, whenever we need it. Download the free Peloton app today. Peloton app available through free tier

or pay subscription starting at 12.99 per month.