Habits and Hustle - Episode 24: Jen Esquer – Body Conversation, Breath Work, and Taking Ownership of Your Health

Episode Date: August 13, 2019

Jen Esquer, otherwise known as Doc Jen Fit, is a Doctor of Physical Therapy and educator. She talks about her programs, The Mobility Method and The Optimal Body, as well as her belief that we can change the limitations that are put on us by external forces. Doc Jen Fit explains how we can change our body conversation to really thrive, and gives us actionable ways to lessen inflammation in our bodies. We talk about inflammation, gene expression, and the incredible benefits of breathwork.  Youtube Link To This Episode @docjenfit @themobilitymethod @theoptimalbody ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐ Did you learn something from tuning in today? Please pay it forward and write us a 5-star review on Apple Podcasts. 📧If you have feedback for the show, please email [e-mail]  📙Get yourself a copy of Jennifer Cohen’s newest book from Habit Nest, Badass Body Goals Journal. ℹ️Habits & Hustle Website 📚Habit Nest Website 📱Follow Jennifer – Instagram – Facebook – Twitter – Jennifer’s Website Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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San Antonio, Texas. Vitamin water zero sugar just dropped in all new taste with zero holding back on flavor. You can be your all feeling. I'll play and all self-care you. Grab the all new taste today. Vitamin water zero sugar. Nourishcare you. Grab the all new taste today. Vitamin water's zero sugar, nourish every you. Vitamin water is a registered trademark of glass O. We have such a great guest today.

It's my friend Jen Esker, otherwise known as Doc Jen Fit. She's a doctor, physical therapy, and an educator. We talk about her methods and her belief that we can change the limitations that are put on us by external forces. Also, how we can change our body conversation to really thrive. Doc Jen talks about inflammation, gene expression, and the incredible benefits of breathwork. Listen in and you will feel empowered to take control of your body, health, and

wellness. Hi everyone, welcome to Habits and Hustle. Today we have my friend on today, Doc Jen Fit, otherwise known as Jen Escair, which I always seem to screw up your last name. She has something called the Mobility Method and also the optimal body and also she says an all-around great girl and she was on before but didn't really work out with the taping so we're gonna do this again. So thank you so much for coming on and I guess hey

thank you for having me here especially after the whole like cuffle with the tape that's fine. I'm actually I'm happy to have you because number one. I just love you as a human being. Yeah and You have so much amazing information to share and I was saying to you before like I don't even know where to begin I know I know about like the mobility method the new program the optimal body like I Think I don't know where should we start the let start? Let's start with what we were talking about earlier, which was the whole thing about listening to our bodies and what you call the body conversation.

So, the floor's yours, my girl. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, so the reason I call it a body conversation, it's because I relate it to any other kind of conversation we have. So, when we're having conversation, it's what someone is saying to us, what we're internalizing, and then what I think is the most important part, what we're listening to. So that relates to the body in terms of the external conversation I say for a body conversation is like what the doctors are saying to you,

what your family says to you, like, oh, this runs in our family or you're genetically predisposed for this or, oh, you have this kind of back pain. Well, now you can't do this and you got this and you're going to do this. And it's at what everyone is just projecting onto our bodies. And we usually internalize. And I've seen a lot of patients where that becomes the norm where it's like, okay, my doctor said, I won't be able to run anymore, or I can't do this anymore, or I have this, and now this is my body, or my mom had plentiful fetishitis, so I have plentiful fetishitis.

That's the good point. That's the good point. And the good point of like what, you know, is told to us becomes what we internalize. Well, also because I think that, first of all, I should say, I think I didn't even say, because I was just like saying that you're my friend and doc Jen fit. This is also a doctor of physical therapy. Yeah. So that's what we're talking about. I have a mind and body are so connected.

And I totally agree with what you're saying because whatever I think we think we are, we are going to be or vice versa. right? So if you're told you have this because it's genetics and that's how you're gonna, that's how you're gonna basically be in life and you're gonna act like that. So what do you do to kind of, I guess, to counter that? What's the plan? Like if someone says, like you're saying, your mom has plans or a fascia,

I just have a silly example. Yeah, but it's true. A lot of people come in saying that, well, this is the structure, which, yes, genetically, like structurally, we can be, we can take on our structure from our parents to a certain degree, but at the same time, we can always change internally what's happening based on the exercises

we choose to do, the exercises we choose to do, the mobility we choose to do, and what we put into our bodies. So we don't necessarily have to take on Planner fasciitis. If you were born completely with flat feet, which doesn't happen all the time, it is a thing. You can be born with the complete flat foot. I have it by now. Or you could have developed it over time.

So we get to really observe which one is it, and that still doesn't mean that you have to be, you have to have these diagnosis on you. Like I have scoliosis. I don't have back pain. I'm not limited in what I can do. You see my crazy handstands and I load and I lift and I do other things. So I'm not limited based on having that. That's interesting. You say that I actually went to a chiropractor the other few weeks ago because I thought I had either 10-night is in my on the top of my foot or planar fascia. I just I wasn't sure. And it turns out I do have that but he says I have really bad scoliosis. Now don't most people generally have a little bit of it?

Yes. Okay. Definitely. Right? Yeah. So what's considered a little or a lot like so he made me go get x-rays it somewhere else, come back and it's like basically it's like it looks like I'm like he says like I look like in a total s.

Yeah. Does that mean I should people with that with that type of if they have it a little bit what's considered to be okay and not, or is it just a scare tactic when they say, oh, you're like, please, what do you think of chiropractors? Are they good, bad, the other? Well, I think it's the same as,

I can say the same as an MD or physical therapist, it always depends. It depends, of course, I can't just kidding. I, you know, I don't think that one dictates them all. And I can't say the same physical therapist. There could be really bad physical therapist out there. That's true. Who are just doing massage, just doing ultrasound, just doing light therapy, just doing dry

needling, and that's all they're doing is what they're putting on a patient. So I'd say anytime a patient is going in and they're passively on the table and we're saying, I'm going to fix you based on my treatment, I'm going to fix you based on my treatment. I'm going to fix you based on my adjustments. I'm going to fix you based on my manipulations. If that's all that the treatment is, yeah, you're going to need to keep going again and again and again because you're relying on someone else to feel good. And what all those treatments do is they manipulate our nervous system and they make our nervous

system for that moment feel safe for that moment feel good so you get an adjustment and you're like oh my god everything feels loose amazing we're also releasing endorphins when we do when we hear that pop and we hear that crap we do yes and we're it's not necessarily literally adjusting something back into place it's allowing our nervous system to feel safe and when our nervous system feels safe it feels like like you can have more movement, more freedom. And so for that moment, it feels like we're fixed. But then why would we need to go again and again and again and again?

No, absolutely. It's not necessarily fixing anything. Because no one else can fix us. Like, it's only what we do within our own body. So unless someone is teaching you the tools, as to what you now need to do when you go home, and why it's so important for you to start implementing this into your life, nothing's gonna change. It's with everything in life though. This is just one microcosm of how everything is. But what I love about you, and I'm not just saying this

because you're sitting in front of me, is that because you don't look at the body as just like what it is in the front of you as like the physical being You really kind of figure out what is going what is going on under the hood deeper and that's how you get true change and Evolution in everything in life like you're saying like that's the thing That's my issue with a lot of chiropractors not all of course Yeah, is you're fixing fixing what's in front of you for that moment in time, but that's why it's constantly going back. But this is a bigger conversation,

not just about your physical ailments, but about the mind-body connection, and what's going on inside is basically it manifests itself on the outside, we're We're saying that. And so, you know, a lot like if you have rashes, if you have a pain in your foot, like what is going on? Like give us some examples or let's talk a little bit through what it means when you have a physical ailment, like what is happening on the inside? There's so many different things that could be happening on the inside, you know? And that's where I really go back into this conversation. So externally, I say, we can, we don't have to take on anything someone else tells us.

Just like, oh, you can't do this, you can't do that. If you allow that to be true, then you can't do it. Right. But you don't have to take on any of that. Right. Like, oh, you're ugly. You're, you're whatever judgment someone else. I love it. No, it's okay.

Whatever judgment someone else wants to put on you, you don't have to take that, you know? Exactly, yeah. And it's up to us whether we're going to manipulate it. And when we're talking even genetically speaking, we now know that we have the ability to change the function of our gene. So although we can't change our DNA,

our DNA stays, we can change the function of how that DNA and how that gene is going to react. How does that work though? Changing our environment. So even if it's, even meditation has been proved to turn on, or to turn off our pro-inflammatory genes. And so now we get into that anti-inflammatory state just by meditating.

Yes. Yes, it's like literally in the research, the research that when we go into the meditative state and we can do this over a time period of eight hours, not all at once, but over an eight hour period, it has been shown to turn off your prone flammatory genes. So that's how we're automatically getting into that anti-inflammatory state.

If we change our environment based on the error that we're breathing in, how much water we're taking in, our body is mostly made up of water, how much sleep we're getting, all of these things, and then what we're putting in our body based on what your individual body needs. I don't think there's a one size fits all like, oh you can't have dairy, I think it all depends on what your body needs. I don't think there's a one-size-fits-all like oh you can't have dairy. I think it all depends. Absolutely. On what your body needs and I'm not going to go into that, I think go get checked. You know? Of course.

See what your allergies are. But the more that you take out what doesn't serve your body and you put in what is good for your body, which I think we can all agree is like more whole real foods of more plant-based things and less or no sugar would be a starting point. So when we go into changing up our environment in general, we already can start to change the function. And so a lot of these genetic disorders like high blood pressure, high cholesterol, cancer even. We can't say for certain, but a lot of these heart disease are driven through inflammation.

Right, right. So if we can start to change how our gene is going to function based on that, then we're changing the function of that gene. So now I get to cross out all these genetic things that I've been told externally are placed on me. Vitamin water just dropped a new zero sugar flavor called with love. Get the taste of raspberry and dark chocolate for the all warm. All fuzzy, all self-care, zero self-doubt you.

Grab a with love today. Vitamin water, zero sugar, nourish every you. Vitamin water is a registered trademark of glass O. So you're saying that because most of these things you said is about inflammation. Yeah, so we have to figure out a way to lessen, of course, the inflammation on our body. And you're saying meditation, obviously,

we've heard this for, I mean, especially in our world. We talk all the time. We hear it all the time. Is it accumulative? And to the set. If you just do a one-off here and there, it's not going to make a difference. But it's over time.

Over time. That it will help. OK, what happens with somebody like myself, OK, who is a very type A personality? who, my former meditation isn't the same meditation that a lot of other people. Is it, so for me, in my head, I feel like running is my former meditation, because it kind of like, in my brain, it soothes me, I can think, I can kind of, it kind of gets me to my baseline, but that also is very

inflammatory in all the ways. So what happens in that, like, does it have to be meditation sitting there like, is there another type of, would you believe in different, my question is twofold. Are there different forms of meditation that not, what I'm not on one side fits all. And then the other part is, well, first answer that and then I'll get the other part. I totally see what you're saying. So I think, yes, there's many different forms of meditation and not one size fits all. And there's no right or wrong way to do any meditation.

That's right. I can't do so for two seconds doing that. But I think that is something that you get to lean into then. Like, what am I resisting? Why am I resisting it? And why can't I do it? It's true. You know?

But here's my thing. I don't think it needs to look like, okay, let me turn on this app and try to listen to this person talking and think that I'm in a sit here and not be able to think of all the things that I have to do and blah, blah, blah. Right. So when I'm usually working with patient, we're working on breath work. What is my rib cage doing? How is it expanding?

Can I feel it? Can I, like, what am I touching? When I get someone to tune into their bodies that way, and it becomes an exercise of how long you're going to breathe in, how long you're going to hold, how long you're going to breathe out, what is your rib cage doing? Feel the movement within your chest and your belly and your ribcage and literally feel it on your body. You can't be doing running.

Right. Don't exactly. You can't be doing something. But breath work to me is very much meditation. It's just a different name. Exactly. And that's why I do that. Exactly.

That's why I do that because a lot of people are resistant to the word meditation. So you think it's more of a psychological. Yeah. Like you hear the word meditation. So you think it's more of a psychological, like you hear the word meditation. I do anyway, and I'm like, oh fuck, I'm not doing that. Exactly, and a lot of people fill that. And that's totally okay. I get where that's coming from and I see it.

You meditate. So I do. Of course, yeah. And I can't say that I do it on a daily basis. I do get to be more practiced with that. But I do, I do breath work. I guess I do kind of meditate almost every day and I've been doing it now with my partner

and that is so incredibly centering. Like if, I mean, sinking breath with another person too and just getting into that rhythm together and doing that for an extended period of time. That's crazy. Super centering. Really?

Yeah. A lot of people don't do it with their, I mean, so Jen has a new boyfriend, but we'll talk with that. I was going to wait for five minutes before diving into that and getting into trouble, you know, but since you did bring it up, not me. So, you, so with, what's your new boyfriend's name? Tom Dominic, right? Yeah. So, how, he doesn't even live in LA.

So how would you, sorry, I should like, you're the guest. So who's your new boyfriend, yeah? What's your new boyfriend? Yeah, he is a, am I blushing? Yeah, I am too though, but OK. He's a physical therapist. He's from Minnesota. OK. And he, you know, he's actually worked therapist. She's from Minnesota. OK.

And he's actually worked on a lot of his own anxieties and body pains and things through diving into like, Wim Hof type stuff, box type breathing, cold exposure therapy. So doing different thermgenesis type stuff. And, and really working for himself in that way, he's been able to see changes in terms of bringing that to patient care. But, wait, so we're going to get into that in a second.

I want to, so how do you do coupled meditation if he a lives in Minnesota and you live here? Do it on the phone. We've done it FaceTime. We do it together whenever we're together and then we usually start our mornings with it, at least five minutes, and our nights with it. So you're on FaceTime? Yeah, so we'll be on FaceTime and just say,

okay, we're going to do a four-second inhale, hold for two seconds, eight-, exhale, hold for two seconds, and we'll do this rhythm together. How long? Usually about five to 10 minutes. It's like your version of like phone sex in a way. You know? It is, right?

Oh my God, the breathing heavy. It's very spiritual, it's very connecting. I remember even when I was going to do a speech and I was failing a lot of anxiety, it was the first time I was doing this kind of talk and blah, blah, blah. And we did breath work together and it literally just centered me. And I was like, okay, ready. About to do it.

And I can do that, obviously, for myself as well. And that's the same thing. So if we think about a breath cycle, this is how we can manipulate whether we're in the sympathetic and that stress and that fight of flight or that parasympathetic, that breast relaxed digest state, if based on how we're breathing. So if we think of the breast cycle, we have the inhale, we have the exhale, right? And that inhale state is more of that sympathetic state. So think of someone scaring you and you go, and you hold that inhale and everything gets

really tense and tight. And you breathe into your chest. It's usually from your mouth. That's that sympathetic state. So now anything that kind of mimics that all throughout the day. So if I'm breathing through my mouth, majority of the day, I'm probably more in that inflammatory state. If I'm breathing in and out through my chest,

if I'm super tense and tight in my body, if I'm using more of like taking a deep breath in and using my inhale more than my exhale, then I'm thinking of this like and I'm adjoicing that to people like take a deep breath and you're like, you're staying in that sense of that. That's true and then out the exhale is like, yeah, you don't think about that. But literally now think about when I go get a massage, what am I more in? Yeah, that's so true.

The exhale. And it's the exhale that actually takes us into that parasympathetic. So interesting. And even if I take my body into better alignment, it's so much easier to then close my mouth and breathe in and out, compiling through my nose. And my nose is really where my breathing center should be. Not my mouth, my mouth is for eating. My mouth is part of digestion.

This is my respiratory system. So I should be breathing in and out through my nose. I mean, not only does it have a lot more physiological benefits when I do it in and out through my nose. I'm curious. I'm curious. You actually end up getting a lot more oxygen all throughout your body because we're not expelling as much carbon dioxide.

And when we keep more carbon dioxide than our body, that attaches onto hemoglobin. And then that attachment onto hemoglobin is what releases the oxygen. So we get more oxygen through the blood stream, more oxygen into our brain. And that's why even it's been talked about a lot now, sleeping with your mouth closed. All right, that's a huge thing. The sleep apnea is a really big thing right now.

Yes, absolutely. We're just sleeping with our mouth closed. Sleeping with your mouth closed is huge. If you want to actually wake up alert and ready for the next day with more energy because you get more Literally more blood flow more oxygen into your brain, but how do you control that when you're sleeping? so some people will put like Like a little piece of scotch tape this way not this way seriously, but this way because scotch tape also is very easy to come apart

Right, right? So if my knee to in the middle of the night, open my mouth, it will open. Right. So it's not something to suffocate you. I'm not trying to, I don't put duct tape on your mouth people. Right, right, right, but it's a reminder. It's a reminder to keep your mouth closed. It's that proprioceptive feedback to just teach your brain and your body how to do that. Does it work?

Yeah. I mean, Does it work? Yeah. I mean, try it for a week. I mean, that's a great, that's a really good piece of advice. What else could someone do? So that's one thing that I love doing. Another thing is really, okay, everything that we talk about we're getting into the Parisin pathetic system and getting back into that rest relax.

Again, longer exhale, shorter inhales, huge, in and out there, you know, is huge. And then there's actually areas of our body where our lymphatic system and in our nerves cross over. And when we tap into those areas, we're actually able to stimulate more of a relaxation state and get more fluid moving through our body. If we want more fluid, like our fashion, that to be so restricted, we need more fluid movements. So that's, it comes with obviously getting water in throughout the day, but also like getting more

lymph moving throughout our body. So that's what I love dry brushing too, which is super, you could dry, buy a dry brush on the Amazon. You can look up on YouTube how to do dry brushing. Super easy. And it's literally two minutes before you shower. You're just like, I mean, you can even do it with your hand,

literally just like moving lymph toward your heart and you get fluids moving better. And it works. Oh yeah. Again, not just once. Yeah, it's a cumulative. A cumulative. Well, I think that's a cue with a lot of things.

Like everything is a cumulative. Everything. Habits are a cumulative. If you do anything, just one off here, there doesn't do anything. Nothing. If you have one big Mac, it doesn't change your life. If one salad, it doesn't change your life.

Exactly. You have to do it on a regular consistent basis. I mean, that's the key to everything. Everything. And people don't want to understand that it's not, oh, I did it yesterday. OK, well, you can do it today. It's like brushing your teeth.

It's habitual. Yes. You know, shower. You don't shower just once every two weeks. Well, maybe some people. Some people. Yes, maybe some do. But if you want to have hygiene, it's about the consistency.

Everything is consistency. So that dry brush that you were saying is helpful to basically for your lymph panic system and also, we'll say it again, to just to get your lymph to move better. Because the thing about fascia too is that we need slide and glide between fascial layers. It's not necessarily layers, but it think of it like the connective tissue that overlines everything. We have superficial fascia that's what kind of stops our skin from going back and forth.

We have fascia that overlies our muscle tissue. We have fascia within our organs. We have fascia overlying our nerves. Like everything in our body is connected through this connective we have fascia, overlying our nerves, like everything in our body is connected through this connective tissue called fascia. And the way that it moves really well is one, having calmness in our system, so not having that built-in tension, and then two, having more fluid between our system, so that it can actually move and glide. And so getting water and having your lymph move really well is our ways to be able to improve

our not only our mobility but calm our system. So that basically all of these little tips and tricks are like, are for your body to be less inflammatory, right? Yes. So that's why the lymphatic system is so important because it drains the toxins and keeps things moving and fluid. Yes, exactly.

And so there's different touch points. So actually right underneath your collarbone, if you're just kind of rub right underneath your collarbone like 30 seconds, and do this with the exhale, breathing through your nose and really just relaxing. What does it do? Over the sternum. So this is where like those nerves and the lymphatic system cross. Oh, the credit connect.

So, yeah, so that's what's the name to place is right? Yeah, so over the sternum. So the areas that usually fill a little bit like, like, let it go. Like the good touch, you know. And then actually grabbing underneath the ribcage and kind of rubbing underneath the ribcage. Again, not so that you're in pain and you're locked up, but you want to breathe with this. That's going to be most effective.

Is that long, exhale, and that slow breathing. And so anytime you kind of come into this like stressful state, like do some of these points and it, like just feel what happens. You will be amazed within your body. Yes. So how long do you do it for? Just about like 30 seconds in each spot.

And you have to reach while you're doing it. Yeah, so I would say either time it or just do 10 slow breaths in each spot, five to 10 slow breaths, really slow. So again, in three or nose, like four seconds out through your nose or mouth and really slow for eight or eight seconds. So like in and then out for a longer period of time. So the exhale is really important. Yes.

And to basically move around the places where like people, like where it usually feels kind of gross, makes it be what you had to, you got to move it around as you, as you breathe. As you breathe. And the dry brush is a good one too. I also think that you know what I think about that couples meditation that you just or couples breath work you know the euphemism for meditation. Why I like it is that it also gives people like some like like people couples or people to do together as like kind of build not just, it's not the right word. I'm like, what do you call it?

Like it's just closeness or, you know, like, and also it keeps you accountable. Like if I'm doing, it's like kind of like having a workout buddy, right? Like you have someone else to kind of keep you accountable or can make you do something that maybe normally would be uncomfortable that you guys can be connected.

And it's the way to just like connect. Connect, connect, you know? And like we it's easy to disconnect in this world that's just hustle and go and go and like oh, hi sweetie, bye. You know, and this is a way to actually like how can we both like be here present and connect again. But if you're doing the four breaths in and the eight breaths out, how long is that period? Those are 10 minutes you do it five minutes, two minutes, three minutes. I say at least start and give yourself at least, like, don't even time it, see how long you can go and maybe you're like, or maybe you turn on a timer, you're like, I got five

minutes right now. Do it for five minutes. Like, that's okay. Especially in nature, super calming, like that has studies as well, that can just like tap us out of pain. So even if you're just like walk, you're on a run, take a moment to sit in a tree and focus on this breath

and see can I touch these different points and what is my rib cage doing and am I breathing into my chest and just start to observe? Because even just observing our body will get us out of the thought process of everything else I have and going on within the day, right? Right, right, right. So that's a quick meditative practice and especially our nature,

you're sitting like it just being able to come back to centering and calm. We all need. Everyone needs it. I mean, that's something that's so hard for people who are not typically that person or type A to kind of get to that place It's totally I agree. I agree, but it's so it's so incredibly crucial and not later, but now and And when you also I like to say like when we start to change the function of our genes We're able to pass that function on so if you're not only just doing it for you, do it for little humans who might come after you and for generations after you.

Because we do take on some genetic predisposition from what we have. We don't have to own that. And we have the ability to start to adapt and start to change the function. So if you can start it within you right now, imagine what you can carry on after that. Is this part of your program the optimal body?

Is this what you do in it? Or what is your... I'm bringing in mindset tools for sure to start to work through these kinds of things, but optimal body is more focused physically right now. Okay, okay. So we do like talking about functional hit workouts, meaning like what does your single leg stability look like?

What does internal rotation of your hip, external rotation in an exercise form look like? I love what you did on Instagram with that dead lift, that single leg dead lift. Oh yeah. When your hip is, because that's, and you know, I just do it for a living,

my hip always swings out because it's just, you know, I just wanna do for a living, my hip always swings out because it's just, my body, I feel is predisposed because I've been doing something for so long. That what happens is that becomes like my new normal. That you have to retrain, as you retrain your brain, your body, to do something properly, right?

That was a great video. Thank you. You're welcome. Thank you, I appreciate that. So it's basically that's more of a physical video. Thank you. You're welcome. Thank you. You're welcome. So it's basically that's more of a physical program. Yeah. And it's dropping in the tools for mindset, but just listen to this podcast.

Yeah. And listen to the tools and start to implement that and know that even I have people write out a list sometimes. What are all the things that I've been told get passed down on to me. Now what do I have control over based on inflammation? Can I cross off things that come from inflammation? And then you see like oh there's actually like I'm not I don't have to take this on. Right. I don't have to have this as what is put on me. I get to control it now. Well I love these tips and tricks because I love about it.

It's like, people can listen to this and then they can actually do, implement it easily. Like, here's an easy way that you can, here are five easy ways that you can really reduce inflammation in your body by doing this, this, this, and this as opposed to this like, as so, Ter, well, maybe if you do this, and these are actually like proven things that will actually lessen

the inflammation in your body, which by the way, inflammation not only causes a lot of disease, but also, I think it also gives you your mental clarity and it helps with your cognitive function. Like inflammation is deadly in so many ways. Yeah, it really is. And it comes with not only our environment, but how we're reacting to our environment. So what am I, and then that's where the internal conversation I say comes in. Yeah, okay, that's right.

So the internal conversation is, okay, I've taken on all these things. So now I can't do this, I can't do this, I don't have this, I don't have that. And it's like why are we focused on what we don't have or what we can't do? Like, let's put that to the side and let's just focus on what we can do

and what we do have within our body. Because when that's possible, anything, we can lean into anything. And it might not look exactly the way you expected it to and like the end result, but you can still go on a journey of like, I wanna be this kind of athlete, you can still do that, you might not be the best,

but you can still lean in. I don't like, let's get out of this mentality of what we don't have, what we can't control. Because I, one of the great things about going through physical therapy school, I got to work with so many different humans and individuals. And one guy who really impacted me, he has cerebral palsy and lives in a wheelchair. But he lives on his own.

And watching him get down from his wheelchair and put on his shoes and socks, I mean, it takes like 20 minutes because he's contractured all over. And not only does he have contractures, but he can't use the motor control of his mouth. Super brilliant, so smart, but can't physically talk and we look at him and we say limitations. The way he can't do. But he looks at it and says, okay, what can I do? And what do I have control over? And when he got too big to pull himself back into his wheelchair, he started swimming with his physical therapist so that he can lose weight.

Really? Yes. So again, OK, I can't pull myself into my wheelchair. What do I have control over? And he continues to come back to this mindset of what I do have and what I can do. And he lives completely on his own. That's amazing.

That's an incredible, incredible story. Because I think, again, this is about, this is everybody. It's about what you tell yourself, what you can or cannot do. And you, people put their own limitations on themselves based on so many different variables in their life. Right? And I think we'll get into the other part of the conversation after. But someone like that, if someone like that can actually, it can see the glass half bone what they can do By the way when I wrote strong as a new skinny I wrote it because the the message behind that was the same not everybody can be skinny not everyone can not Everyone's born to be a waif right? Yeah, but my whole point is that I'm not even gonna be skinny But everybody can be strong. Yeah, so focus on

But my whole point is, not everyone can be skinny, but everybody can be strong. So focus on something, a goal that's actually attainable that you can do, because everyone can be stronger, not everyone can be skinny. And it's the same kind of methodology. It's like focus on what you could have control over, what you can, what you can make better, because that mindset gives built confidence and self-esteem, which then basically spirals into so many other positive attributes, right? But I love that story, but that guy, that's amazing. That really is. Yeah, and that's it's everything. And this is what the podcast is really about, is about like

basically like having positive habits, really like what people do day-to-day to be the best versions of themselves or be the most productive or be whatever that is right I mean and what and what and like kind of like giving people practical takeaways right that they can kind of help implement so like something like I love that so bad that guy like this threw me off that's an amazing story because much. I like this through me off. That's an amazing story. Because it's amazing. It makes me bring tears to my eyes. Because I think that there's people who have so much more in life, and they're just always like what they don't have,

what they don't have. Yeah, yeah. And that's what we tend to focus on. And as a society, it's what we tend to focus on. Even me. I remember getting, like, I would regularly get ready in the morning. This was a few years ago and I would be tearing down

Everything that I don't like or oh, this is gross or oh, this is bad and tearing myself down right and someone said like You know, you're creating a really negative environment and I was like what are you talking about like this is just what I say to myself Like I'm not saying it to anyone else right and when I when I that became to anyone else. And when I, that became just clicked an awareness to me, I saw my mom doing it to herself. I saw my friends doing it to themselves. And it was a norm that we did in society, at least, especially for women. I would say whip as a very female thing to do. Yeah. Like, oh, I look so ugly. I'm so sad. I like it. That's just like, it's your go-to. Right. Exactly.

But again, focused on the negative, rather than the positive. So what am I drawing into myself? And then what is the environment that I'm allowing other people to step into as well? That's such a great point. And so that's when I was like, oh, whoa, this really gets to change.

And so I committed to myself to write down three things. I, two to three things I loved about myself every single day for 30 days. And I asked for accountability. And I said, okay, mom, you don't get to say anything negative about yourself. If you do, I'm going to catch you and make you switch it. And if I say anything negative, you get to catch me and make me switch me, switch it. And I did the same for my friends. And now my friends know, like no one's allowed to say anything negative, you get to catch me and make me switch me, switch it. And I did the same for my friends. And now my friends know, like, no one's allowed to say anything negative about themselves,

because we catch each other, we hold each other accountable, and we're here to build each other up, not only each other, but ourselves. Attention Quarger Shoppers! Did you know there's a world of innovative services and patient care right in store? It's where an award-winning pharmacy and nationally recognized care come together. Connect with one of our licensed pharmacists today at your local Kruger and experience the care you and your family deserve.

Kruger Health, a world of care is in store. Services and availability vary by location, age and other restrictions may apply. For coverage, consult your health insurance company, visit the pharmacy or our site for details. That's a great, that's like a 30 day challenge that's positive. Yeah. Like I was saying on another podcast yet, like a little bit while ago,

that some of these 30 day challenges, they could be destructive because what happens is of course you're like going into deprivation then when you get off of them. But this is one of the 30 day challenges that can actually be really, really positive. Because it is, it can be life changing because it's changing your brain and tweaking by doing a small thing like that every single day,

it becomes, that becomes your new habit. And it just builds awareness. Like even I noticed. I'm not catching yourself. Yes. So now I notice like even if I look at a photo for the first time, what am I drawing it just to myself and saying,

I don't like it because I don't like what I'm seeing. Everyone does that. Everyone does it. But now how can we switch that and say, and the first thing that we look at be like, oh look at this amazing group of people, or look at this location that we're at, like how amazing, and have that be the first thing and then maybe you're like but maybe we can also

take another photo. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, like that. That's okay but what if the first thing we went to was something positive, something we appreciated, something we're grateful for rather than something we need to tear down. And I think what you just said is like if you put yourself on some kind of challenge for a certain finite amount of time where you're then you're making other people accountable for you and vice versa. That's how that's how like that habit change that's how you change that behavior. That's the only way because people come on all the time and we talk about we read about this, like just have a positive mindset, just think positive affirmations,

but you have to start somewhere. You can't just like one day be like, okay, I'm gonna do it unless you have a support system to kind of catch you when you're not doing it. Accountability is everything in life. Business accountability, personal accountability, fitness accountability, it's everything. Consist consistency and accountability

are what makes people successful in anything in their life. Personal, professional. But what happens if someone's not in your brain? So if you're getting dressed and you're with your mom, you have this thing with your mom or your friends, you can still be getting dressed. You're like, oh, I feel ugly. There's no one to stop you or count.

There's no one to stop you and be like, uh-uh-uh. That's why, I mean, that's how I grew up listening to that that is the norm. But then, so how do you stop, like, so when you do that, because you're on this challenge, you'll be like, no, I'm not allowed, like, it'll remind you not to think that way. It's a good reminder for me, yeah.

I have to think that way. Especially at the end of the night when I'm like, okay, what are two or three things I have to write down about myself, which after a few days, you're like, what else do I love about myself? Yeah, exactly. I was gonna say, like, okay, what are two or three things I have to write down about myself, which after a few days you're like, what else do I love about myself? Yeah, exactly. I was just saying like after a few days, what are you writing down? And mostly what people tend to go to is personality, right?

Yeah. I love this about my personality, this, this, this. Eventually you're going to get into what you actually love physically about yourself to, which is so powerful to be able to acknowledge. Really? I feel like you're right. I feel like because we're so critical on our physical appearance, that once you finish all the personality things, you're like, fuck, now what? You have to start like, okay, I guess I have nice arms or nice toes or whatever.

You have to start doing something. Exactly. That's a really good one, Jen. That's a really good one. And then I think because what you're saying, what happens is once we start, we're so used to having that negativity, then we end up doing other things in our environment that will kind of support that bad relationships, or otherwise, Jen, of course, well, not of course, but, you know, had a very serious relationship and

it didn't end very well. I'm not going to say anymore because I don't want to jank and say it. You know, who is not a good guy. And like you're saying before, basically based on, because you don't know sometimes the chicken or the egg, like what happens first, right? You know, you thought then that, like, that's what you were okay with. And that's what you should have, or like what you deserve, right?

Because of all these other things that all the other variables that kind of interplay. Right. So that's where I think we can dive into what I think is the most important part of the conversation, which is listening. Because if I'm in conversation with someone, I'm saying you're worth listening to.

But I don't think we do that enough to our bodies. Like you're worth listening to. Right. Your body is feeling in terms of tired or bloated or restricted or weak or whatever. Like, instead of just, what is the one pill? What is the one actually? What is the one thing?

It puts fixed. Yeah. Instead of masking What our body is trying to tell us what if we actually took the time to listen and That's where I like to bring people back into it's like and listening doesn't mean like okay Well, I'm craving sweet so I'm just gonna grab Listening actually means after I eat this food, do I feel bloated? And so what can I change within that food that maybe might not make me feel bloated next

time or might not make my stomach ache or how could I maybe add something in that would give me more energy? And maybe that is breathing and going into meditation. Maybe that is getting an extra couple hours of sleep. Maybe that is getting more water. You know, whatever it may be, or changing your environment, or putting headphones in when they're at work, so you don't have to listen to the outside noise.

Like, how can you start to shift and change your environment, or what you're putting in your body to actually start to listen to what it needs and what makes it feel better? And that's the listening portion. And we sometimes, you know, we were out of tune with that. And I realized for myself that the listening goes way further than even just that physical aspect. But it's like, what was my intuition telling me?

What inner am I really not listening to? And last year I ended up getting shingles. And I realized now that I was not listening to that inner portion, that intuition. It was like there is a person inside me screaming to be heard, screaming to like, I'm not OK. And some things not right. And I need help and

rather than really being heard and being seen I didn't feel like that was happening. So my body manifested shingle. Yeah, wow and it was like I I've like forgot about it for a little bit or I didn't forget about it I just ignored it because I thought oh Like I've had a rash come up from heat, from working out and stuff. So I thought, oh, it might just be that. And then I went to the dermatologist and she was like, oh, that's shingles.

I'm like, oh, great. Yeah, exactly. Confirmed stress. Right. So because it's shingles because I had shingles when I was pregnant. It was very odd. Wow. But yeah, crazy.

I got shingles when I was pregnant. And it's a very odd thing to get. Yeah. Because a lot of people get it when they're under a lot of stress. Yes, like physical stress, mental stress. Yeah. So when before you got your shingles, because you weren't pregnant, where were you in your brain? Like, did you feel like you're immune? Did you feel stressed? Did you?

I did feel stressed. Did you have any other kind of ailment that kind of, or precursor? I so I didn't have any, anything like that, but I did have, so at the time I was in a relationship that I was getting very frustrated, that I felt like it wasn't moving in a trajectory. I thought it would be. Right. And I had been very patient, I had been for years, and I'm like, what is happening here? And so I was getting very frustrated, and I even sought out therapy to help with both of us.

Like couples therapy or just okay? Couple therapy. And even through that, I still felt not seen, not heard, and kind of pushed down. And frustrated. And so frustrated. And it wasn't until I told the therapist that I had shingles that she finally was like, oh, you actually need attention, too.

Yeah, a wow. That's crazy. And, um, it was manifest. We were talking about this earlier. Like, whatever happens, it does manifest itself physically. Like, there's such a connection between what happens. Such a connection. Line, body, environment.

And so what I realized is that I was so out of alignment within my relationship. So that was part of my environment that I was not aligned with. Because I can meditate, which I did. I even got like this little, I remember getting this little book. Because I was just like in, like I was seeking something. book, because I was just like in like I was seeking something I was like I'm so like something needs to change and shift and I remember getting this little book

That was like meditations for strong women and it helped like I loved reading it I loved like meditating on it. I was journaling. I was seeking out therapy. I move all the time. I work out I do I eat well. So I was doing all the things. Everything else, yeah. Exactly, but instead really listening to my intuition, where my intuition was telling me, I'm not in a place that I need to be in this relationship and it is okay to step away. And I wasn't listening to that.

And instead, I was saying, no, I need to be more understanding. I need to be more accepting. I need to be more like lenient. I need to be more whatever. And I realized that the more that I kept saying, I needed to be more of something. The more I was telling myself, bottom line, I'm not enough. Because if I need to be more of something for someone else, then that means who I am inside

is not enough. Right. I'm so true. And so at the end of the day, like the relationship fell apart because I found out about some unfaithfulness and infidelity. Sorry I said it. I found out about you know unfaithfulness and so I was able to step away but it was a huge wake-up call like duh like did I need

this to step away? I didn't and I could have stepped away before so for me was this forgiveness of myself for not stepping away sooner. But did you have an intuition that he was unfaithful already? I did you have an intuition that he was unfaithful already? I didn't have an intuition that he was unfaithful. I had an intuition that values, core values that really meant the most to me were not aligned. Like some core values for me are family, like huge, family's huge.

And he was just like, that was the hardest thing for him to really be involved with my family. And I just kept, okay, I need to be more understanding, like that was the hardest thing for him to really be involved with my family. And I just kept, okay, I need to be more understanding, more accepting, more of this, more of that. Rather than saying, no, this is not an alignment. So you were compromising your core value system for someone else? Yes.

So that's what was like giving you that kind of an adgravation and frustration. But usually they say when people are cheaters, people usually have the intuition, like women or men, whoever the cheater, chee-dee is, whatever. But and you're so like in tune. So I think I am now more so than I was. And I think where I came from,

where I didn't allow myself, so I think I am in tune, but I didn't allow myself, so I think I am in tune, but I didn't allow myself to listen to that or trust it, because I've also been, and this is, again, just me personally, I realize that I've grown up very amazing lifestyle with beautiful family, but I've also been taught like what I do and what to do and like, oh, I go to church. I do well in school. I do like, I'm a good gymnast. I'm very law-abiding. I'm very like follow the rules. I'm very do what I'm told. And so through that process, I never really developed how to listen to my own intuition and when I would listen and how to trust that within myself. And I think because I even went through my own stuff of like not loving myself, not really seeing that, not, you know, all that kind of stuff,

it just all kind of like I know why I was in that relationship. I know how I drew that in. Not filling secure in myself, not knowing my intuition, not listening to myself. I knew from the very beginning, I had told myself, this would be someone that I have fun with,

but never someone long-term. I had told myself that from the very beginning. Right, you knew that already. So how did I listen and trusted, how to listen to that? We went, like none of this would have happened. So you did have intuition at the beginning. I did.

And you just say not to listen to it and trust it. Yes. So you basically pushed it in the back of your head. Yes. You did have that intuition. I did. And I didn't listen to it. And that taught me how to not listen to it again and again

and again. And I'm so grateful actually for what happened because it just, it gave me this freedom of like, oh, I can trust myself. Like, I do know. And it was such a beautiful lesson to be able to learn. And then the forgiveness came not in him because his choices and what he decides to do,

that's his own journey. But for me, I forgive myself for thinking that I'm not enough and that I need to stay in this relationship. I forgive myself for not walking away sooner. I forgive myself ultimately for not trusting myself. Yeah, that's such a beautiful point, Jen, because number one, I think when you meet somebody, how many years, four or five years ago, people evolve and morph over time in years, right? Like you've been on a personal growth journey

for a very long time. And the person you were when you met him on day one is obviously not the same person you are on day, whatever it is now, right? So, you know, it's nice and it's a really positive message, I guess, that you're putting out there that, like, you, instead of, like, putting the onus on someone else's, you know, jerk off moves. You're like, you're saying, you know what?

Like, wherever I was, that is, I've learned from it. And now, instead of putting on him, I'm just forgiving myself or I've moved past it, knowing what I deserve, what I can tolerate. Because the truth matters, you have changed since that moment. When I met you, when I knew you, when you were still dating him, there has been a slight change in your personality now, where it's like you do seem a little bit more like open and not happy, but kind of like you're kind of like you are. Like it's because like you know what you're willing

to tolerate and like what you want. A lot clearer. And you're clearer. And it's like you've kind of grown from it and moved on from it. Totally. You know? And I've done the work.

Like I will say to anyone, don't compare anyone's journey. Like I think it's like, there's no one size fits all for anything, right? And so there's also no like, okay, this person cheated, that means you walk away. Like, maybe for some, that means you have a family, you have things, maybe they're willing to dive in

and truly do the work. Like, it is brave if you stay stay and you're worthy for staying, you're worthy for walking away and it's brave to walk away. Either way, I don't say one is better than the other and one is right or wrong. It's not about right or wrong, it's about your own like knowing what you need for your journey.

And but for the purpose of what this is all about, it's the fact that having toxic relationships, having toxicity around you in your environment affects your mental health, it affects your physical health, it affects every piece of what's it going on. So if you're trying to be, you know, if you're trying to level up, which people love that terminology, you know,

you really have to like take like, you know, have like a, you know, come you're trying to level up, which people love that terminology, you know, you really have to like take, like, you know, have like a, you know, come to Jesus with yourself and look at every aspect of what's going on in your life because you're never gonna get to that place if you don't take care of like your business in your backyard of what's how people are making, how people make you feel.

That to me is like a big one too, right? Yeah. Because that will give you either confidence or insecurity. Exactly. And that will move you or shift you in one way or another. Totally. So who aligns with you? And it's OK for you not to feel it with one person. Again, that doesn't make it wrong or bad with that person.

It just makes it like, hey, listen, I'm going to listen that this, something in my gut comes up when I am around this person, it doesn't feel good. So I'm not going to keep putting myself in my gut comes up when I am around this person and doesn't feel good. So I'm not going to keep putting myself in that situation. That's what it's about. No, absolutely. I agree. So then like that's why I say you're much more than just a doctor or physical therapy

because you do such, you're such on such always are always trying to improve yourself personally, professionally, everything. Like, you know, you're giving us amazing tips. Like what are you, what's your core focus now? Is it not, is it the mobility method? Do you see patients? Do you do the optimal body? Like, you're like a powerhouse on social media,

Doc Jen fit. She has like, I don't know, like, almost a million people following her. What's your core right now that you spend most time doing? What's your core right now that you spend most time doing? For me, honestly, my core is like coming back still into me. I think this whole journey, this whole process of coming out of that past relationship and really Learning about myself and taking time for myself has been huge. Yeah, and I've actually like to be completely honest Steped away from like as much business hustle, which is felt freeing

Yeah like to be completely honest, stepped away from like as much business hustle, which is felt freeing. And I really am committed to like, okay, what do I really feel value in and what do I really feel like I can help people with? And I know I continue to post on social media because people have resonated not only with my story, but still with how I educate as well. And that means a lot to me.

Well, you're a good educator on it, that's why. Like I said. And do you feel pressure a little bit with that? Like, I feel like when you have that many followers and that much, you know, stuff, do you feel like this anxiety? Like you have to keep on giving out good content and be present all the time and like share your life when maybe sometimes you just not mood. Like you said, like you just want to be alone or like take time for yourself. Like, is there a lot of that that happens? Honestly, not really for me personally.

It's something that I have always enjoyed. That's how it got built in the first place. It's just like, oh, cool. Like, this is happening. Let me lean in. Right. And it's always something that I've just like enjoyed doing.

So I like leaning in. And it's also your knowledge base. It's just different maybe too. Yeah. And I know that for me, like, if a day goes by or a few days go by and I'm like I don't have anything inspiring to that I feel inspired by to promote or to post or to educate on that I'm not going to. And like last night I was like a woman's dinner so it was like I don't need to post right now not attached it's going to be fine. Right. It's going to be there. Like as we say

don't you I mean don't you ever feel like, oh shit, I'm at this event, that I have to like share it with my followers because, and then you can't really enjoy the moment sometimes, you know? Like, when you just can't just like sit there and like have a good conversation with whoever's at your women's dinner, because you can't be like,

wait, I wanna show everyone, you know, A, B and C. You know? So So it depends. Sometimes I'll go to something and there'll be nothing that's shared, and that was exactly the result of it. So 100% present in it. Last night, I didn't end up taking any videos. I was tagged in one, so I was able to then share it later the next day.

I'm in a crazy world we live in. Like, why do you have to feel that? I mean, not you. I'm talking more about a bigger piece. But we do. We do you have to feel that? I mean, not you. I'm talking more about a bigger person. But we do. We feel the need to share. And I think it just comes back to, OK, look into yourself. And this is where I come into, how do you

tap into listening to your intuition? Like, really getting clear. Like, who are you? And this even goes into, what are you going to share? What are you sharing for? Take away like what society thinks that you should do, what parents think you should do, what friends think you should do.

Like, take it away. Why is it that you're sharing? And if it doesn't feel real and authentic, why are you sharing it? Or like, coming back into intuition, who are you? Like, who do you want to be? Who do you want to show up as? And again, take away what parents want from you. Take away from society wants to be you take away from friends or a significant other and really get clear on who you are. And I would say do breath work into

that journal on it. Talk about it with friends. Like the more that you get clear on who you are, the more that you're going to get clear on who you want around you. Yeah, absolutely. And also they, you know, I'm sure you've heard this, maybe not, but you are the sum of the five people closest to you in your life. So that's why it's again very important to really look around the room and see who you're the five people you're closest with because chances are... Their energy rebs off. Absolutely.

And I also say, I'm not friends with only entrepreneurs and that thing. I am a very super loyal person. My family is an on-al-entrepreneur, and I'm super close to them, and I don't think that's bad. But it's also like, okay, how much energy am I putting into relationships and just understanding for me and myself, like what's important and where I want to move into. So if it is a time in my life where I want to like really hustle and work, I'm going to surround myself around more people who are going to inspire me to shift into that.

But life's also a whole is a whole right like being a good being an entrepreneur and having those qualities that makes a good what makes a good entrepreneur, you know, an entrepreneur, that's one piece of the pie. But if you want to be a good person and if you want to be a good person, and if you want to have a whole life, personally, professionally, you know, you're around your family, like you said, but to me, your family has given you a lot of core values. Oh, one hundred percent. That are like so strong and positive. Like that makes someone a good entrepreneur. That makes someone a good friend. That makes somebody a good husband, wife, whatever. Like you got to be a whole person, you know. So you surround yourself people who have the qualities

that you want, like kindness, if it is kindness, if it's drive, you have people who are running hook driven, who have drive, but usually I feel like, you know, water does always find its level and you gravitate to people that you're typically similar to. Yes. Right? Yes. And then with other aspects, then you're able to weed out and whatever else. Yeah. I mean, I think it's important to not just have people who are just one dimension like hardcore, driven, and entrepreneurial.

But the other stuff helped balance you. I completely agree. And it's just, it's such a beautiful thing when you're able to really get clear. And it's like, that's how a beautiful thing when you're able to really get clear. And it's like, that's how I've met, like I really think I've met the person that I'm with now because I've gone through, but I've gone through and gotten just so clear on what it is that I want. And I've been unapologetically myself asking for what it is that I want in a relationship

and that I'm really looking for in a partner and he's matched that to Like above and beyond and I it's really felt like such a connected soul thing that I've never felt in my life Wow look at that. Did you hear that dominant? Oh, you should take this podcast and like set him that. Oh wow Amazing. That was really nice. That's a really nice thing to say. Very nice. I never heard that about the other guy. And you know you are. Just kidding. I'm gonna get in trouble after. I know. Okay. Jens, where do people find you? Tell them you're, oops. Tell them about all your, all your information. So if they don't know who you are and they want more amazing information on the body, on mobility, on self-improvement, please.

Yeah, so I'm on Instagram the most, Dr. Genfit. I across handles the website, Dr. Genfit, and Facebook, YouTube, Dr. Genfit for everything. And then the mobility method, you can really go in and learn about your own body, it's a whole self-assessment stuff. And then the optimal body is a way to just again, be able to learn. It's all about, my stuff is all about education. It's not about like losing weight

and getting fit and getting strong even. It's just about educate your body. Start to learn about what's not working well so that you can start to improve on what you need to work well. Well that's why I think you have as many followers as you do because the education part, you don't just post just silliness, you give people like real fundamental information that's helpful and most people don't do that crap so with that big set thank you for coming on. Thank you for

having me. I'm going to have you one again. Yeah, bye. Hope you enjoyed this episode. I'm Heather Monahan, host of Creating Confidence, a part of the YAP Media Network, the number one business and self-improvement podcast network. Okay, so I want to tell you a little bit about my show. We are all about elevating your confidence to its highest level ever and taking your business right there with you.

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