Habits and Hustle - Episode 256: 3 Reasons Why You Aren’t Sleeping Properly

Episode Date: July 7, 2023

Why is it that we have hundreds of gadgets and apps to optimize our sleep but yet our sleep quality is only getting worse?! In this solo episode of Habits and Hustle, I chat with you about why I think we’re sleeping worst than ever and what you can do to improve your sleep quality. Most importantly, I discuss why you should prioritize sleep but not make it a reason to shoot your whole day if you don’t get the best night of sleep. What we discuss: 00:16: Why are we sleeping worst than ever? 03:06: What habits are hindering your sleep quality? 05:33: How does diet affect your sleep? 07:20: What happens when you have a bad night of sleep? 11:01: How many hours of sleep per night do you need? 12:22: Do women need to sleep more? 15:15: How can you make sleep quality a non-negotiable? My links: Website: https://www.jennifercohen.com/ Instagram: @therealjencohen  Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

I got this Tony Robbins you're listening to Habits and Hustle, Crush it. Welcome to another solo of Habits and Hustle. We are very excited to be doing this podcast because we all love it. We all know what it is. It's about sleep. Sleep, sleep, sleep. Sleep is being called- Can we take a nap right now?

Just a- You could take a nap right after we finish. Okay, great. Sleep has become like the hottest hashtag on the internet, the World Wide Web, social media. It's the number one thing they say for health, longevity, anti-aging, just everything. That's what the new thing is.

That's the new, the top, the top health modality. The number one health tip is to sleep. So why is it, if that is the case, why are we sleeping worse than ever when we have a million apps, a million gadgets, a million of everything to improve our sleep? Do you know that our sleep is becoming progressively worse year by year? Of course. And time. What? Screen time.

It's more than just screen time. It's because we're putting so much focus and attention and thoughts about sleep that it's actually interfering with our sleep. So I don't think that's the universal issue across the board though. 100%. This is what we're doing this podcast right now. But in everybody in America is losing sleep because they're thinking about sleep, I think.

No, what I'm saying is listen, I'm saying, I'm not generalizing right now. What I'm saying is we are spending over, well billions of dollars a year on ways to improve our overall sleep, right? With apps and technology, of course, and gadgets and all sorts of things. And the more we do that, it's becoming,

actually the more we do that, the worse our, not just our sleep is, the type of sleep we're doing. So instead of sleeping like a deep, restful sleep, we may be sleeping, but poorly, we're not falling asleep. But is that causation or just correlation? Like I don't think that that's my point. Okay. That's what you're interrupting don't think that that's my point. Okay.

That's what you're trying to do. No, wait till you get the point. No. It's so long-winded. It's so long-winded. So long-winded. But no, the point is, one of the things is that, unless you think about sleep, the better your sleep will become.

So I said to my daughter the other day, you can't fall asleep. I said, you should count other day, you can't fall asleep. I said, you should count sheep. And so what happened? She counted the sheep came back to my room and she's like, mom, I counted the sheep. And I'm still awake. So that made me down, that made me go down this whole rabbit hole, which then basically was another proof that the more attention that you put on the idea of you not sleeping, the less you're actually going to sleep. And there's been research to back the fact that counting sheep is actually a really

bad thing to do if you want to follow sleep. So number one sleep tip is, A, don't count sheep and don't focus and think about you sleeping if you want to sleep better. That's part one, part two is that they did a big study and they found that people whose diet was unprocessed, vegetables, fruit versus the same people eating a very processed diet of high sugar, high fat. They actually slept the same amount, but the quality of their sleep was exceptionally worse. So diet does have a huge correlation to how you sleep,

the type of sleep you have, and the more focused you put on your sleep, the worse you end up sleeping. That's my point. Yes, I agree. Glad you're my foil. No, I agree. I agree, but I just don't think,

I think that the cause for why we are all sleeping worse has nothing to do with the sleep industry getting bigger. Oh, no, no, no. I didn't say that, well, I said the cause is right now there's a lot of causes, right? There's lots of different reasons why we're not sleeping well. But I do believe that the sleep industry is actually creating more havoc for our lack of sleeping well versus how it was done 20 years ago. Like, all of these gadgets have been actually making our sleep worse, not better, and we all know how to sleep.

Do we have stats on that though? Yeah, a lot of stats. I'm telling you, there's a lot of research backing it. But on the new gadgets that have only come out in the last few years, like how it hard is... Five years, like more, eight, five to five to 10 years. The other interesting thing is... Because I just think that I just don't know how they can make that kind of causation when there's so many other factors

that are affecting our sleep. So like somebody who has... So for example, like if I download a sleep app, right? Like, and then my sleep is bad. But I am also still consuming, like 10 hours of screen time every single day. I might not be eating as great. I might not be doing this.

You know what I mean? There's so many of their fat. Maybe there's loud noise in my neighborhood. Like there's so many things that contribute to it. I'm saying apples to apples. I'm saying if your lifestyle hasn't really shifted and you're incorporating at work, or you're incorporating one of those sleep trackers.

And but yet your lifestyle is not changing. The two things that I found to be very interesting was how diet does really affect your sleep and start with a quality of sleep and a type of sleep. Like I said, people are eating processed food, high fat, high sugar. They may sleep the same amount of time technically, let's say, as people who are eating a very whole food diet. That is like fruits and veggies and protein and all that, just the qualities very, very different. But what I think, I know for myself, by the way, I did a little bit of an experiment. Yeah, what's the experiment?

That I did by, it wasn't meant to be an experiment, but a few nights ago I had like the worst night's sleep. I went to bed, let's say 12, 30 at night, and I woke up at 3 and then I couldn't fall back asleep. And I hate those nights, you know, when you're like, trying to fall asleep, I'm turning the pillow over. And the second you start turning that pillow over, it's like, it's the game is over, because you get hot on one side.

And the second I do that, I'm like, oh shit, I'm up all night. Because then now I'm getting myself anxious. So that's the first thing. They say the best thing to do when that happens. Instead of counting sheep is to take a walk, leave the environment, walk around your house, go to a different room, do something different, and then come back to bed,

versus just sitting in bed and trying to fall asleep still. When you say counting sheep, can you define that for me? Like, you never did this? No, I mean, I grew up with the commercial. I was saying I was saying, I was saying, you know, one sheep, you know, 99 sheep, 98, like count backwards, like counting sheep. But.

No, that would dream me crazy. But they're saying it gets, the idea is it becomes so boring and mundane that you'll fall asleep, but you just, that's not necessarily true. But what I was going to tell you is I had this, I had a very terrible night's sleep. So when I woke up and I knew I had a really bad night's sleep,

I said to myself, okay, because what happens normally if you have a bad night's sleep, you end up eating way more sugar, high fat foods, like cat carbs, caffeine. And even though I knew, and I knew this happened to me, I tried to make a conscientious decision to say, you know what Jennifer, you know you had a bad night's sleep, don't fall into that trap, don't eat the shitty food, don't, you know, go for those French, like don't do those traps that happen when you have a bad night's sleep.

Because now you're thinking about it, don't do it, right? And as the day kept on going, it's so true. Like, even though I was conscious and doing that, this could happen to me, it will happen because of my terrible night's sleep. And me knowing that it was gonna happen, I did it. Even when I knew. Like, I knew.

Yeah, like, my whole day was shot. Like, I ate terribly, I ate way more than I would normally eat. I was like a machine. I was like a, like a garburetor. I just stuffed and shoved food in me all day. You're like trying to stay awake by eating, right? Like, no, I was like, you know, it's like, also you're craving salt and sugar so much

more. So even though I knew this was like what happens and I talked, tried to talk myself off the ledge like don't let this happen to you because you know it's going to happen. Don't do it. I eat, I did it even more. And maybe that is because I was so much more, there's something to be said about being conscious about it and doing it more. So I've been sleeping on these blissey pillowcases lately

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Like, you're so exhausted that your brain actually doesn't have the strength for willpower, the same way that it would if it was super rested, right? Like, that's actually really interesting. That's actually so fascinating. That when you're super exhausted, you make you make you make really bad choices Because you are literally so tired that your brain is not at its full strength to be able to be like no I don't want that no, I don't want that it just kind of gives in it becomes a lazier more passive existence Like you give into the craving will power is a muscle like anything else

There's no you can't rely on will power you can't rely on Motivation I you could say discipline even your discipline has become weaker, but it's like you're tired There's no, you can't rely on willpower. You can't rely on motivation. You could say discipline, even your discipline has become weaker. But it's like you're tired. You don't have to. You're just so wasted. It's like, so your discipline, your willpower,

everything is working on fumes because your brain is not firing completely the way it would normally fire. But also, because when you don't sleep and I don't know that the proper terminology for this your body is there's something that's like you're craving these other things to I don't know offset it. Because like your melatonin hormone is so low that you want other things to do with that. I want to why don't you Google what it is? What am I like googling exactly?

Google, why do we crave high-process food, high fat, high sugar foods when we're so tired? You know what's also really interesting is that women need more sleep than men and it's not discussed enough, like at all, to function. Women need, on average, like one to three more hours of sleep. Oh, I never heard that. Oh, yeah.

Guys can go on like seven, eight hours. Women need like eight to 10. What, first of all, that is absolute. No, it's scientifically true. Go, go, go. When have I ever, I haven't gotten eight to 10 hours of sleep since I was four years old? I absolutely got that much sleep.

Okay, you don't have two kids and let me tell you something. Yeah, but just because you can survive off of that doesn't mean that your body would not thrive so much better on more sleep. Okay, but even when I say even when I didn't have kids, I think eight hours, seven to eight hours, I believe is sufficient for most people. For most people. This is across the board speaking from the hormonal perspective women need more hours. I beg to differ.

Google it. Google it. Google it. Google it. Do women. Okay. Do women need more sleep than men? What does it say?

Women are multitaskers. They do all at once. They use their brains more than men. It says that sleep research center. Women do use their brains more than men. So that yes, they do require more sleep Again with Google if I was also her monol thing Jen, I have so many hormonal issues that I have gone down the rabbit hole of hormones and women so much

Trust me. They absolutely more sleep than men. It's like a scientific thing We just do we function differently our humans require more recovery time Okay, I buy it I buy it And I buy it. I get you're right. I think you're right. And I think that actually a bigger problem is like what you're talking about like being a mom I think that's why it can be so draining on women is that they do so much more the workload They end up getting less sleep than their partners and their male partners Which is even crazier because they actually require more to rejuvenate. So it's like the opposite should be happening. Oh my God. Let me just make sure you understand.

I don't disagree that women are in a position where they are, they're hormones and what's required of us and all this other thing. For sure, it would make sense that we need more sleep. I was just saying, I haven't had more than seven or eight hours of sleep ever. And so that, if I can get seven hours of sleep, I feel exceptionally well-rested.

I would even know how to sleep more than that. I think I'm actually okay on seven to eight hours of sleep, actually. But even like back in college and stuff, where you're always like a, that's crazy. I guess you'd like 12 hours if I wanted to. I love to sleep. Yeah, I mean, I'm like, I'm sorry. I was born or built, but I will say that

is obviously important for so many, for focus, for being alert, for energy, for aging, for longevity, for, for overall health, sleep is 100% now become known to be the number one health tip that you can do to make your life better in every way possible. And so if you are wanting to have more sleep, number one, the best thing I think you can

do besides buying all these trackers and downloading every app and doing all these other things that the multi-billion dollar industry tell you to do. The best thing to do is create a schedule where it becomes a non-negotiable where you just don't allow yourself to go to bed a certain time later than you're supposed to. You know how my non-negotiable is exercising every day in the morning. Maybe another non-negotiable is getting, putting yourself in a bed between the hours of like nine and 10. And that should not have much waiver. You know, like maybe don't go for that dinner, maybe not go, don't go to that event. Like, whatever it is, make that a non-negotiable. I don't know.

That's so hard to do. I mean, yeah. It's so hard to do. If sleep should be this real non-negotiable, like other things can be like exercises, my non-negotiable, how to create not a schedule, but curate and design your day where you allow yourself for that allotment. So like for me, I have two kids. It's not that easy, right? Like I have to make sure my kids are in bed before I, of course, I go to bed, make sure that everything is done. Like, you know what I mean?

That's much more difficult for parents. So what is the way around that? Like, I think it's a creative nighttime routine. Well, you, well, I was going to say, like, but even creating a nighttime routine has parameters when you are a parent or you have responsibility. It's not so easy to create a nighttime routine when you have two kids and one kid doesn't want to go to bed and like other They come into you they crawl into your bed or they do all these other things that then disrupt your sleep

And then you're not able to do all these other things so but the solution to it is just not having kids like there's no We're around that shit. It's like that's just like welcome to the contraception commercial of our Like I don't know how I listen after spending two weeks with my sister and her kids I'm just like I don't know Like I don't know how. I listen after spending two weeks with my sister and her kids, I'm just like, I don't know how, I don't know how. I don't even know how. So the answer is if you don't have kids, don't, that's a great, great sleep tip.

If you want to sleep more, don't have kids. Sleep tip number two, don't count sheep, get out of your bed, and actually do something different, change your environment. And number three, watch the diet that you eat because diet, it plays a significant role. So I was gonna maybe tie that into that. Like the food thing. I think a couple things. If you want to sleep better, the best with all honesty, if you do have kids, I'm, you know, and if you don't have kids, you could

still have kids. I was kidding. I'm not really. I was gonna say, doing other activities and other things during the day that will allow you the best chance of having a good night's sleep. By the way, that is exercise. Working out is a huge factor. Working out is a huge factor. Huge. I sleep way better on days that I've gone

in a good workout. 100% my god. Diet, huge. Another big one is the sauna. So I use my sauna. I think, I don't know if I showed it to you. You don't pay the bill. I had the portable sauna which I've been using.

My fairer sages, it's amazing. It's like 100 sonas now. No, I'm sorry, but that one is like this. I have this new sauna, it's a portable sauna that is full infrared. Red light, it's super actually a portable. Wait, it's infrared, I thought it was a steam thing. No, it's infrared. No, right, yes. Like I have it in my office, red light, it's super actually a more. I thought it was a steam thing. No, it's infrared.

No way. Right. I have it in my office and it really helps me before I go to sleep. It basically like relaxes my body and my mind and I love it. So that's a really great modality to me to help me follow sleep. That's how I feel about bad.

I really like. That's how I feel about bad. That's a really great way. Like, something that I, if I've had a really stressful day and I know I'm not going to get sleep when I just get into bed, like I'll take a bath and then I'll put lavender, epsom salt in it, which is really great. And I'll always light a bunch of candles because I love sending candles. And I'll also put lavender oil on my pillows. Like, that's a huge game changer for me.

Yeah, I love that. That's what I do too. Super super calming. So I have the lavender voice essential oil. Yeah, I love that. That's what I do too. Super super calming. So I have the lavender, which essential oil. It's really good. You get a spray too as well, like. Yeah.

That's a great tip. So they obviously say, I don't want to bore you with the same things that people say. To sleep better, make sure you're sleeping in a dark room, make sure that the temperature as cold, make sure that's all fine and dandy. But another thing is make sure you actually like create your life before you get into bed that allows you to actually sleep well with quality versus

you know, not that's the point. I think that what you said about the sleep quality being different like you might sleep the same amount of time but it might not be as meaningful of sleep. That to me hits me really hard because I do use a tracker, I mean, I haven't used it forever, but I use the Fitbit and it was quite a wake-up call, like how often I'm awake. How often I roll around and how often I, and it did make me,

but it does change. Like I can notice a difference in my sleep when I've eaten right and when I've worked out that day. Like to me exercise is a really big game changer for sleep. It's the number one game. It's a number one game. It's a find it hard to sleep if I haven't worked out. Yeah. I mean, I think that's why I'm so passionate about exercise because it literally

helps with so many things. Everything. You're literally everything. It's crazy. It's a cool health. With your mental health, with your sleep, with your confidence, there's like nothing that exercise cannot cure. I kid you not. No, I agree. And I'm not saying that because I'm not getting paid by the exercise association. I am serious. The world exercise in the world.

Yes, the world exercise association is not paying me. I'm not a spokesperson for them, but I should be if there was such a thing. If there was. Because it's free. It's free. You don't have to go to a gym to exercise. You can exercise anywhere anywhere like anytime anywhere There's no excuse and it literally is a cure all for so many things including sleep including mental health including

Self-esteem including including including that is literally that that is why I'm so passionate about it And like I said you got to create a Situation and a platform for you to win in life why I'm so passionate about it. And like I said, you've got to create a situation and a platform for you to win in life. And if you want to win in life, you've got to stack the deck for you. And exercise is the number one thing you should start with. But you know, that is basically, you know,

it end period, that is it. And it will help your sleep. I guarantee it. Wait, let me just quickly read these results from Google. So we're still on this. The food thing. No, this is the food thing they asked me to look up. It comes down to a balance between the hormones left in, which suppress appetite and grelin, which are grelin, which increase, increases hunger.

So like your, those hormones get completely off balance. So when you're tired, you crave it a lot more. Yes, you know what? Actually, I do know that one. I just, for whatever reason, I just didn't remember it at that moment. It's fine. Left in, it's the one. Your tall, so I see you as very smart.

That's a call back to another podcast about... Sugar, I should check out. ...about tall and intelligence. You should listen to that one. All right, guys, so good night. I hope you sleep well tonight. And don't forget to exercise, eat well, keep your room dark, and keep the temperature low.

And what was it? Don't have kids? Don't, yes. Don't have kids. Number one top to not meh. Number one top to. And don't count sheep. All right, guys, have a great day and great evening.

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On Young & Profiting Podcast, I interview the brightest minds in the world, and I turn their wisdom into actionable advice that you can use in your daily life. Each week, we dive into a new topic like the art of side hustles, how to level up your influence and persuasion and goal setting. I interview A-List guests on Young & Profiting. I've got the best guests.

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