Habits and Hustle - Episode 273: Ben Nemtin: Turning Struggles into Success

Episode Date: September 5, 2023

In this episode of Habits and Hustle, I chat with Ben Nemtin, a man hailing from the small town of Victoria, Canada, to becoming the second-ranked motivational speaker on the Global Gurus list. You'll... hear about his transformation into a motivational speaker, ignited by a life-altering summer job in Banff, Alberta. His tales from the trenches of mental health struggles to the thrill of playing basketball with the President offer a bucket-full of hope, inspiration, and actionable insights. This episode is filled with invaluable insights on the power of accountability, and how to take actionable steps towards achieving our goals. Ben shares how a simple act of writing down our goals can create accountability and motivate us to achieve them. He also sheds light on the psychology behind why people stay in jobs they dislike, and how companies can better foster mental well-being in their teams. We also explore the blurred boundaries between corporate jobs and entrepreneurship, and the power of inspiration and kindness in creating a ripple effect. Ben Nemtin is a #1 New York Times bestselling author, co-founder of The Buried Life movement and inspirational keynote speaker. He has delivered over 500 keynotes to brands and Fortune 500 companies around the globe. What we discuss: (0:09:04) - Rediscovering Purpose Through a Bucket List (0:18:15) - Taking Action and Building Accountability (0:27:58) - Mental Well-Being's Impact on Work (0:32:09) - Exploring Success, Entrepreneurship, and Authenticity (0:41:48) - The Ripple Effect and Inspiring Others (0:46:28) - Mental Health Struggles and Finding Inspiration (0:56:32) - Exercise, Gym Routines, TV Show Stunts (1:02:15) - Play Basketball With the President (1:05:29) - From Dream to Reality Thank you to our sponsors: Go to cozyearth.com and get up to 35% off site-wide when you use the code “HUSTLE” Ketone IQ (HVMN): You can save 30% off your first subscription order of Ketone-IQ at HVMN.com/JEN Find more from Jen:  Website: https://www.jennifercohen.com/ Instagram: @therealjencohen  Books: https://www.jennifercohen.com/books Speaking: https://www.jennifercohen.com/speaking-engagement Learn more from Ben Nemtin Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/bennemtin/ Bucket list journal: https://writeyourlist.com/ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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Starting point is 00:00:21 With the right tools, the goals you have tomorrow can happen today. Visa is ready to build a next generation of Fintech together. Learn more at visa.ca. I got his Tony Robbins. You're listening to Habits and Hustle. Crush it. So Ben Nempton is on the podcast today. And he is so likable.
Starting point is 00:00:43 I get it now. I did not get it before because this guy, first of all, he belongs in an Abercrombie ad. You do, you really do. He looks like he's 12 and belongs in an Abercrombie ad, and he is the number two motivational speaker on the planet, according to him. That's a big deal. No, not according to him.
Starting point is 00:01:06 According to who, who did you say? It's a group called Global Gurus. They just rank speakers, but who knows? Okay, but on all of your stuff. Yeah, well, that's what they said. I mean, it's what they said. And for good reason, this guy, so let me just, I'm late to the game, apparently,
Starting point is 00:01:21 but you probably know of him already, because he had a TV show on MTV called The Barry Life. He wrote 100 things that he wants to the game, apparently, but you probably know of him already, because he had a TV show and MTV called the Barry Life. He wrote 100 things that he wants to do before he dies, and he accomplished them all, right, and then gave back to people. Each one, everything that you accomplished on your bucket list, basically, then you gave someone else an opportunity to do that, correct? That's exactly. Yeah. And then he became this like renowned speaker talking about his whole experience. And I was like, how did I not know who you are? And I feel like a real dodo bird.
Starting point is 00:01:52 But I'm so glad that I finally like- Listen, you're not a dodo bird. Thank you, man. I appreciate that. I appreciate that. But thank you for coming on. Thank you for having me. It's great to be here.
Starting point is 00:02:04 You have a beautiful house and a beautiful little studio here. Thank you. So I see why people like you and why you're coming on. Thank you for having me. It's great to be here. You have a beautiful house in a beautiful little studio here Thank you. Yeah, see why people like you why your number two He should be number maybe why are you not number one? Oh Simon Sinek has had the number one spot for two years and he's He's very good. He's very Simon Sinek. He's on this he was on this podcast. He's number one still Mm-hmm really? So was it'm curious? Who's the top five? Well, I mean, look, I have no business being in the top five, but Tony Robbins is number three. And I was, I was, I was number three. This year, I beat him. Last year, I was number three and he was number two.
Starting point is 00:02:38 And Simon was number one. So it's usually him and Mel Robbins. And, uh, and then someone else, yeah. So. Wow. So Mel Robbins, you don't know who number five. I want to look at this list. I'm really curious. Yeah, you're right.
Starting point is 00:02:54 Google Global Guru's motivational speakers. I'm going to. Yeah. And hopefully I'll see your name on there. Hopefully. Let's record the podcast. I'll leave and you can check it. I'm going to.
Starting point is 00:03:03 I'm actually going to. So I want to start from the big, even though I know you said the story a million times, I want to start from the beginning of your journey. How did this whole thing happen? You looking at you, in all seriousness, you would think you had a perfect life, right? But you were super young. You accomplished all of these things, like what, 15 years ago, right? So take me back and give me the origin of how this whole thing came to be. So I'm Canadian. Me too, by the way.
Starting point is 00:03:28 No. Yes. That's why we have a thing. That's why. I'm telling you. That's why. Wow. It all makes so much sense. Like I honestly couldn't, not to interrupt,
Starting point is 00:03:37 interrupt, interject, but when you started speaking, when I was watching all your stuff, and you talked about the Canada thing, because you said university. You know, say college, I was talked about the Canada thing, because you said university. You didn't say college. I was like, oh my god, this guy is Canadian. I died. And then I, like, then I deep-died into your stuff,
Starting point is 00:03:51 and I'm like, okay, I love this guy. Oh, that's great. It is a thing. It's a total thing. We stick together, actually. It's true. Again, why I have no clue how it is. Good people.
Starting point is 00:04:03 Like real people. And hilarious. Super, again, why I have no clue how you do it. You're very like real people and hilarious Super I mean obviously like the best most funny ever So okay, so I'm growing in Canada Which I can tell you exactly where it is because you'll know Victoria. Yep. That's small very small I'm living on an island. It's a big island. It's not like I can see all the the ocean from everywhere right right? It's a big island, but still it's a smaller town, but it's perfect. It's pleasantville. It's not like I can see all the ocean from everywhere. Right, right. It's a big island, but still, it's a smaller town, but it's perfect.
Starting point is 00:04:28 It's pleasant, though. It's like, you don't lock your doors, healthy lifestyle. Your people are very happy, and it's a great place to grow up. And Rugby is really big in Victoria. It's where the national team trains, and Rugby in on the West Coast is huge. That's interesting. I thought hockey would be huge there. I saw that in your bio and stuff that you were playing. So I was big on the East Coast. It's still the biggest sport probably, but Rugby, especially in Victoria, is big, very big. So I'm on the Rug rugby team and I make the under 19 national rugby team and we're training
Starting point is 00:05:07 to go to Paris for the World Cup and I play for half so I'm kicking the field goals, calling the plays a lot of pressure. And I always really cared about what other people thought about me. So you're in high school that's a lot of people's experience, you're trying to be cool, you're trying to fit in. And I think I really like embodied that. I was like looking for validation. So I academic, I was on the honor roll.
Starting point is 00:05:33 I had an academic scholarship to UVic, the University of Victoria. I made the National Rugby team, you know, I was out and had like great circle of friends. But in hindsight, I was living the dream but it wasn't really my dream, but I was doing it because it was the thing that the success that I knew.
Starting point is 00:05:52 And, but I would worry about succeeding. And I had missed a kick at the end of our high school championship game at the end of the game and we'd lost the game. And it was devastating for me. I was like, I fucked up, I blew it. I'm a choke, you know? And so leading up to the World Cup, I thought, I can't do that again.
Starting point is 00:06:10 I can't miss an easy kick. This is my shot. And I'd ruminate about this at night. This, like, worry would come in and it'd be, I'd start to lose sleep. And then I started to get anxiety. And I started to ultimately get depressed. And this anxiety took a grip on me
Starting point is 00:06:26 and I wasn't able to go to school. I drive to school and I couldn't get out of the car and I was like, what's going on? And then I couldn't go to rugby practice. And it just kept getting worse because once I missed one, I thought, oh, what am I gonna say? What am I gonna do?
Starting point is 00:06:40 And then I missed two and then like, oh my God, it's so much worse than I missed two. So it was a spiral. I started to go down and I was like, I can't get caught up with school. And I just became the shut in in my parents' house and I couldn't really leave the house. And all of a sudden I went from this guy
Starting point is 00:06:53 that was super happy, had everything to my parents would push me out the door to do a 15 minute walk every day. For how long did that last? This was like two, three months, dropped out of school, got dropped from the national rugby team. My friends would come by, but like eventually, like, you know, I wasn't hanging out with anybody.
Starting point is 00:07:12 Wow. And so this was the first mental health crisis I'd ever been through and I was thought I had lost everything. Everything I had was gone, never coming back. And the darkness was so deep that I was terrified of it. And so I was completely crippled. And you were young. And so did you ever ask a doctor like what was that? I talked to the doctor, you know, they put me on SSRIs or any depressants. I didn't really stay on
Starting point is 00:07:38 them. I didn't like the idea of it. I was kind of pushing everything away. I didn't know I had an idea of it. I was kind of pushing everything away. I didn't know that this happened to people. I just thought I was broken. I didn't know that other kids were going through something like this. Even though you were totally fine, then the catalyst was that mist kick. Yeah, I think that it was in hindsight, it was a lot of different things. It was this pressure that I would always put on myself.
Starting point is 00:08:02 It was the mix of not sleeping. I have a biological tendency to slide down that slope. There was ultimately, I didn't know myself, and I didn't know what I needed to be happy. So in hindsight, this list that I made was the first time that I had declared what I wanted to do and started following my path. And ultimately, started to move my life in the direction that was true to who I was
Starting point is 00:08:29 and that was a huge part of me coming out of this. So what I realized is that purpose has a huge impact on your well-being and mental health and also being true to who you are is a huge piece of this and that was the beginning of that journey of me discovering who I was, was getting three friends, writing this list of the things that we'd always dreamed of doing, no intention of achieving any of them,
Starting point is 00:08:52 but we just thought it'd be fun to try. And set out on an adventure for two week road trip to see what we could do, accomplish and see who we could help. And then people heard about it and they wanted to help. And all of a sudden, all these people from all over Canada wanted to help us achieve everything off our list.
Starting point is 00:09:08 It was national news. People sending us their dreams asking for our help and we're like, oh my God, what is happening? So what I find interesting is before we even get into all that, like I find it, like what, how did you go from even being that depressed, not being able to leave your house? And then making the list with your three friends, right? Yeah.
Starting point is 00:09:26 And then having the, okay, that's a big jump for you from doing that. And yeah, and I jumped to a big piece of it. So this is what happened. My friends came after I was in shut-in and they literally pulled me out of the house. We're like, we're going to work in Bamp, Alberta for the summer. You're coming with us. And I didn't want to go. We were like, help me pack my bags.
Starting point is 00:09:45 And, you know, and I was forced to start to do things that were good for me. I was forced to get a job, so I started to feel some self-worth and some confidence. I was forced to start to talk about what I was going through to my friends. I was pushed into getting a therapist. I was forced to meet new people.
Starting point is 00:10:02 And I started to realize that these new kids I was meeting in this new town, they gave me energy. So I started to meet kids that were like entrepreneurs, and they traveled, or they were different types of kids. I was like, fuck these guys. I feel energized being around these people. So... You changed your environment.
Starting point is 00:10:17 I changed my environment, and I started to do small things that... Now I know are good for me at the time I didn't know. Right. Small steps and moving towards positive habits of things that were good for me incrementally slowly I started to feel better. The big thing was finding a therapist, but it was all of these things in combination that I started to feel as well as then a decision that I made after that summer way. I was like, I'm only going to surround myself with people that me. Like the kids that I met in the in-bamp.
Starting point is 00:10:46 Like, that's it. I'm just gonna find people that inspire me, and those are the friends I'm gonna hang out with, because I need that. Right. But the three friends of yours, like, who is the one of the four of you who are like, you know, let's make this list?
Starting point is 00:10:58 Was it you? Was it someone else that kind of gave you the spark? Good question. I came back from the summer away. I was like, okay, I made this decision. I'm only gonna hang out with people that inspire me. Uh-huh. And there's one kid that came to mind,
Starting point is 00:11:10 and he was a filmmaker for my neighborhood, and his name was Johnny. And I called up Johnny. I was like, Johnny, you make movies. I want to make a movie. I realized that I'd wanted to make a movie. A documentary, because he had been making these short films with his buddies, and I was like, that looks so much fun.
Starting point is 00:11:23 I'd always wanted to make like a sketch show with my friends or a TV show or a documentary. So I called him up. I was like, he's at McGill. I was like, you make movies, let's make a movie. He was like, I was just talking to my friend Dave about something exactly like this. I said, I know Dave from high school.
Starting point is 00:11:37 You call him, I'll call your older brother. Let's get together. We can talk about this film. We get together. This is 2006. Yeah, it's crazy. 2006, we talk on Skype, we're like, what's this film going to be about? And we kept losing this momentum and
Starting point is 00:11:48 creative energy and finally we're like, screw it, everyone just make a list of all the things. If you can make a movie about anything, what would it be? We made this list all four of us. And then we came back and we all went through our list. And everyone was excited about each one. They're like, that one's a good one, that one's a good one. And someone said, well, why don't we do all these things? And that's where the list started to form. At the same time, Johnny was at English class at McGill gets assigned a poem called the buried life. Right. The buried life is a hundred and fifty-year-old poem written by an old English poet named Matthew Arnold, and it articulated the feeling we were feeling, which was that we had all these things that we wanted to do,
Starting point is 00:12:19 but we never done them because they were buried. And we had these moments when we got inspired in our life to do the things, but the day-to-day buried them. Life always got in the way. Something popped up that's more important, so we push it. And so we're like, that's the thing that we're feeling. And he talked about it 150 years ago. We're not the first people to feel like this.
Starting point is 00:12:34 Let's borrow this name. We'll call this film, The Buried Life. And then we made a list of all of our buried dreams. And we're like, okay, we're gonna go after all of these dreams. And then we're gonna ask people the question, what do you wanna do before you die? Because for us, that was the only thing that shook us enough to realize what was important,
Starting point is 00:12:48 was thinking about death. It's like, we're gonna die, what do we wanna do? So we ask other people that question, and then we'll help them do that. And we'll hit the road for a two week road trip to tackle our list and help other people. And then we'll make our film, and then we'll go back to school.
Starting point is 00:13:02 Right, exactly. And did you finish your high school thing? Could you drop it out? So I dropped out a university, and then we'll go back to school. Right, exactly. And did you ever, did you finish your high school thing because you dropped out? So I dropped out of university and I did not go back. I mean, that's I meant university. Okay, so then you guys all gathered, accumulated your list together and then that was the list. Yeah, and it was mainly things that we all wanted to do.
Starting point is 00:13:18 Okay. There were some things that like one of us really wanted, like Dave really wanted to write a bull. I saw, that was crazy by the way. You didn't do it? No, I also had a hernia disc. Oh, that's a good idea that you didn't. So then my other question is,
Starting point is 00:13:31 so of the list, you didn't necessarily do all of a hunt. You guys did you guys divvy it up or you did the ones that you wanted, Dave did the ones, like you guys. Like most of them we did together. Most of them you did together. So of the hundred you did the majority. Like you did.
Starting point is 00:13:44 And then like some of them we did on our own. And then the other thing too is like I've added a lot more to the list than that's in like the original 100. I was going to ask you about that. You probably have a whole new list. Yeah, because as you grow your list grows and changes with you. So that's the idea. But the original 100 is sort of almost ceremonial. Like I am actively going out after the last four things on the list. Still? Yeah. Oh, I thought the list was done.
Starting point is 00:14:08 No, 96 of 100. 96 of 100. Okay, so which four are left? Go to space, make a movie. I think it's cover rolling stone. Oh yeah, that you didn't, I saw that you didn't get that one. Yeah. And then go to space, I knew it, yep.
Starting point is 00:14:21 And host Saturday nightlife. So you have four left to do. Oh my gosh. Okay. So I was like, what if he's like, so those are on the old list and how many do you have on your new list? It's very, I change is, you know, like the, so the, the idea is for me is that your list becomes a way of life because your list is a reflection of all the things that are gonna bring you
Starting point is 00:14:46 True joy and happiness and it's a reflection of your true self So you get buried by the day-to-day. This is the reality Most people at the end of their life they regret the things they didn't do and those are the things that are typically on What I think your list should be so your list is not just bungee jump It's not just skydive. It's not just travel to Italy. That's adventure and travel related to goals is one of 10 categories that you think about. That's what's in the bucket list journal. 10 different categories of life. Really what I think you're trying to do is figure out what your true course is. And this is great line in the very life poem called Tracking our True Original Course.
Starting point is 00:15:22 And I believe that is our sole goal is unlocking the gifts that only we have. I totally agree with that. And I think most people, there's too much fear to move towards those things. But I believe everyone has a responsibility to unlock those gifts, because you're the only person that is able to do that.
Starting point is 00:15:41 I can't do what you do. These are things that you are born with, and you have a innate are things that you are born with and you have a innate ability that only you have, therefore you have a responsibility. One thing I love doing is taking ideas and making them real. And that's what this podcast is. And I couldn't do it without a ton of help from amazing people. So when I wanted to start selling online, I found the perfect business partner. And that was Shopify. Shopify is the commerce platform revolutionizing millions of businesses worldwide, whether you are a garage entrepreneur or an IPO
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Starting point is 00:18:32 plus free shipping. You guys will thank me, I promise. It is so good, enjoy. But you know what, I think a lot of times people don't even know what they don't know, right? So, but what I think what you also said was it's interesting because you're right, like it's, I believe there are buckets in the bucket list, right? Like not everything, you're not going to self actualize by just go by,
Starting point is 00:18:53 by bungee jumping and hell is skiing, right? Like that's in a bucket of adventure and cool shit to do, right? What are the other buckets within the bucket list that you think are super important? Relationships. Because one of the top five regrets of the dying is I wish I would have stayed in contact with friends. So we don't invest in the relationships that are important because there's no deadlines to do so. And so we push them under the rug. We don't tell people how we really feel as well because it's uncomfortable. So that's another, I think that's in relationship category.
Starting point is 00:19:27 Intellectual, what do you want to learn? I think creative, the creative bucket is huge as well because for me, when I realized, when I told you that when I started this process back in 2006, I started to feel this sense of purpose and well-being because I was creatively expressing myself. I was starting to make this film with my friends, and I realized that creative expression is just your true self coming out, like purely, right? When you do something like sing or play an instrument or dance or do art, there's no, you're not thinking how to do it. You're expressing this true expression, which puts you into a
Starting point is 00:20:04 flow state, which is also therapeutic. So, I think creativity is an often overlooked pillar of wellness, and it's also a category of life that you want to think about. And then you have mental health, you have physical health, you have finance, you have financial goals, you have your professional goals, you have how do you want to give back. That's another big one. Impact and adventure travel. And these are not weighted any differently. There's no rules with the bucket list. The only rule is that it's important to you. And don't minimize these things that you may tell yourself are not important. Like even something like bunch of jump or go to yoga or learn the violin, you think,
Starting point is 00:20:42 ah, you know what? Like I can, I can skip my violin class, like the family needs me or this and that yes you have responsibilities but don't undermine the importance of these small things that energize you to be who you truly are so that then you can take care of those around you. No, I think that's exactly true and I think why this is like you've struck a chord for so long, for so many people, because everybody knows that to be true. And then our own life gets in the way, right? And the things that we think are so important are not that important.
Starting point is 00:21:13 Like, oh, we gotta work an hour longer. I'm gonna send this email. We gotta do this, we gotta do that. And those are the stupid minutiae things in life that make us not do the things that really fulfill us. And so I guess like, this is just me talking, but okay, first of all, have you heard of Build Your Life Resume with Jesse Itzler? He does something very similar.
Starting point is 00:21:31 It's like very, I feel like a lot of people now are jumping on this bandwagon that you started in 2006, right? And people are recognizing the importance of it because their life is like speeding up fast, right? And people are recognizing the importance of it because their life is like speeding up fast, right? So how do people take action? Like we talk about what I've had, like, you know, take action, momentum. How does someone who's not naturally that way start? Sit down, grab a journal, and write your list. That's the first step. Write your goals down Because it forces you to slow down and think about what's important to you
Starting point is 00:22:09 So the first piece is slowing down to reflect and actually check in and think about okay What do I want or checking with your partner? What do we want or checking with your family? What do we as a family? What's important to us? What are our goals? Where so that you can live with intention? A lot of times though the family is the reason why I'm being total right is the reason why a lot of people's like personal individual self actualization doesn't happen because they have kids and they have responsibilities and they have obligations and then those obligations are louder than anything else because of guilt and everything else that happens. So let's put that aside for now in terms of like the, I think it's a great exercise to do with your family and your partner, but let's just look at your goals because those need to come first. And you got to serve yourself in order to be able to show up as the best version of yourself,
Starting point is 00:23:02 to be the best mom, to be the best dad, to be the best partner, etc. So it feels selfish, but it's actually not. And it's a balance. And I understand that, you know, there's just the reality of life where you can't sometimes do that. But I think that it's important to go through this process where you start to identify the things that are important to you and put them down on paper. Because when you write something down, it builds accountability.
Starting point is 00:23:24 Totally. Because you take something that doesn't exist, and you make it real. So now your goal, your dream, is in front of you. It's tangible. So you've actually created accountability. Now you have a reminder that it exists so that when you get buried by the day to day, you're able to come back to that and be like,
Starting point is 00:23:38 here's my North Star. So you also force yourself to slow down to think about the things that are important to you when you write your list or you write down your goals. And it kind of is the easiest first step. And that's what you want to do is you want to take the most approachable first step because it's like pushing a boulder, right? That first step is always the hardest, but once you get it going, you create momentum. Most people don't take the first step. So what's the easiest thing? Write it down.
Starting point is 00:24:04 If you feel overwhelmed by looking at a blank piece of paper and thinking, what are all my goals and dreams? Break it up into the categories of life. What are my physical health goals? What are my mental health goals? Like, anything is gonna bring me a sense of well-being. How do I wanna give back? What are my relationship goals, you know?
Starting point is 00:24:20 Adventure travel. Like, you can use the bucket list journal website just to look at those categories. So that's the first step. You write them down. The second step is to choose one goal that you feel is very important to you that you want to move towards.
Starting point is 00:24:36 And if you can't think about that, you can imagine that you come across a magic lamp and a genie pops out and genie's like, it's your lucky day, I'm gonna help you accomplish one thing on your list, but by helping you do this thing, you can never do anything else on your list. So what do you choose? That will probably be the most important thing.
Starting point is 00:24:54 The most important thing. So this is your thing and now you start to share. You talk about it because when you talk about it, you build more accountability. And again, like if you look at the research out at Cornell, there's a psychologist named Dr. Gilvitch who found that there's three barriers that stop us from pursuing these personal passions. There's no deadlines, so we have to create accountability. You're usually waiting to feel inspired or you're waiting for the perfect time, but you create your own inspiration
Starting point is 00:25:21 through action, and the fear of what other people think or fear of failure stops you. So you look at the fear and we can talk about that. But so those are the problems you're trying to solve. So anything you can do to create accountability, that to me feels like the key. Because if you look at the workplace, all we have at the workplace are structures of accountability. Accountability works.
Starting point is 00:25:38 You have leaders to keep you accountable. You have a salary keeps you accountable. You don't let down your team that keeps you accountable. You don't want to look bad that keeps you accountable. You don't wanna look bad, that keeps you accountable. That's why you do the work. That's why you stay late and do the email. All those things. How can you take those same structures of accountability,
Starting point is 00:25:52 build them around the personal goals? You write down your goals, you talk about them, so you feel like if I tell you, I am gonna go hellish skiing next year. It's my number one thing on the list, and I bump into you and you're like, oh my God, how's hellish? Like, are you going?
Starting point is 00:26:04 And it's like shit, I'm like, I better book that trip, and I bump into you and you're like, oh my god, how's helly see like are you going and it's like shit, I'm like I better book that trip right? I totally agree. So you you share it and You take that goal you break that goal down into the easiest three steps you can do in the next 48 hours and You get someone to keep you accountable and accountability buddy. Yeah, so I say Jen I'm going to heliskying. I want you to be my accountability buddy. I'm going to send you updates anytime, boom, I just booked the trip. I'm going skiing this weekend to do cat skiing, to train.
Starting point is 00:26:34 You're 77% more likely to achieve your goal if you send regular updates to an accountability buddy or maybe you check in on me. How's Helleskying training going or whatever? If you're writing a book, you can see this actually like works really well. Yeah. I'm like sending you the chapters. And like fitness, I mean, it's like,
Starting point is 00:26:51 you're training with the players. It's all it is. Well anything else, and I also the truth of the matter is all these things that people think like you were saying, and I say this all the time, that seems selfish. Like I'm, there's a non-negotiable in my life. Like I need to work out every day. I don't care like from hell or high water.
Starting point is 00:27:06 If I don't, I'm not good to anybody. I'm like in a terrible mood. I'm not as efficient. I'm not as effective. I feel gross. And so therefore, that kind of comes out, right? So I think you do have to take care of yourself to be the best version of you
Starting point is 00:27:20 in every other area of your life. I think people say they sometimes try to convince themself that it's selfish so that they don't have to act. I think we have a lot of excuses in our brains of why we're not doing what we wanna do, should do because of the fear, because of the self doubt, or just because sometimes pure laziness to start. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:27:40 And so that's what I was gonna say. But of all the stuff, what was your thing your thing the number one if you had the genie that you thought was a number one thing? Ooh like back then or now yeah back then and now I Mean I mean, I said you could pick one. I think for back then it was Make a TV show that was the big dream That was the big one make a show with my friends for my friends. So good. And then I want to talk about that.
Starting point is 00:28:10 What is it now? Now it's make a movie. It's make the documentary, the buried life documentary. So the fact that this is still going on, I said this to you before we started. You've like milked this whole bucket list more. I mean, it's God blessed you. You've done an amazing job at milking it for like 18 years already.
Starting point is 00:28:29 You're going around talking about it all the time. You did the show, like it's like, you but are you at all sick of talking about it? Be honest, took a little, no? Honestly, no, because it's changed. And I think that like, and this is something that we were talking about before, but you have this thing that you do, and you do it, and then you get tired of it.
Starting point is 00:28:50 And then you either keep doing it and become unhappy, and you're in a job that you don't like for a long time. Right. Or you change, right? But what happens is like when you do something, and you run out of inspiration and you create space, you can get reinspired by that thing. And so I took like four, five years building a production company with the same guys
Starting point is 00:29:12 and we did other TV shows and stuff like that. And then I did it, I got invited to do a TEDx talk. I did the TEDx talk. That was eight years ago, right? Someone saw it two years later, I got invited, I started speaking five years ago, and I did this talk on my own, and I was like energized.
Starting point is 00:29:26 I was just new right away. I was like, this is what I'm supposed to be doing. I got reinspired because I found just my own expression of what this is. I re-imagined what it was, and then I started to like peel back the onion. Yeah. And I was like, oh my God,
Starting point is 00:29:42 this is so much deeper than we thought. I read the article by Dr. Gillovich that talked to 76% of people in their deathbed their biggest regret is not living for them. They live for other people or they live a life that they thought they should live and they die and they look back in their life and they're like Fuck. So true though. I blew it. Three-quarters of the population. I was like how are not more people talking about this? This is the biggest problem we are facing as human beings. If this is our biggest regret, so how do we solve this problem? And I realize that's all I've been doing.
Starting point is 00:30:13 The list is a reflection of who you truly are. And most people don't even know that they're not living the life that they should be living. And I realize that there's this huge connection between mental health and purpose, which is when I started to share my story of my depression, and I realized that this unlock of purpose as a driver to fuel you, to be who you truly are, and feel like you're mentally just able to express yourself. And I just started going deeper and deeper, and then I realized, oh shit, there's all these applications in the workplace too.
Starting point is 00:30:48 Like, people stay at a company where they feel like they can be the true expression of their selves. So leaders should encourage their teams to follow their dreams. Not trying to keep them, but enable them to find purpose outside of work and find purpose inside work
Starting point is 00:31:02 so that they feel fulfilled, and they stay in an environment where they feel like they can be that true self and that's why I keep going back to companies again and again because you want to, once you create an environment where people feel like they can just be themselves, they want to stay. I was gonna say the opposite. Like I would say I'm shocked that Coke and Walmart want you because I would think that you would go up there and give people this like resurrection like fuck it.
Starting point is 00:31:25 I don't wanna be doing this stupid job. I wanna like live my life. I wanna like become a chef or I wanna like move to Italy or whatever it is. And that would be very scary for companies to have someone like you give people that like inner. So, and it used to be, that was the main way of thinking when I first started speaking
Starting point is 00:31:42 and I had to be very careful of how I positioned my talk. And what I've realized, and what I think happened over COVID, and now leaders are starting to realize, is that it's much more costly for them. Mental health is the biggest cost to companies for disability, and it's the biggest cost to productivity. Full stop, right?
Starting point is 00:32:01 It is more costly for them to not address their teams mental well-being and purpose and fulfillment than it is to have some people who feel like they shouldn't be there. Leave. And if you're in a company where people like you want to leave, you're not doing a good job. Right. So you're checked out. You're coasting. So it's better for you to find someone and that actually takes like then connecting back to what is our purpose, how are we actually making an impact in the world and in our people and they create these programs that are pretty, pretty amazing. And so it's, and if you look at the research and that's why there's a great book called
Starting point is 00:32:38 The Dream Manager by Matthew Kelly, which talks about this exact same model of identifying your dream and then keeping the team accountable to that dream, you build an affinity towards your leader, you build an affinity towards your team. You start to, you create a culture where there's peer to peer facilitation of dreams, right? And then you have community and then you have people helping each other
Starting point is 00:32:56 achieve these things. And everyone is rising. You gotta work, you gotta make money. There's gonna be things about work that you don't like, but you great example, you can have two people that doing the exact same job, working the exact same amount hours, and one person can be completely burnt out, and one person can just be a ball of energy, and a lot of times is because when they leave work, they're doing things that fuel them. So that's exactly what I was gonna say. I don't necessarily think that people have this conception
Starting point is 00:33:28 that your work has to be your purpose. Great, it's just a great point. Right, like, why does that necessarily have to be correlated? Why can't you work because you need to make money and then live the rest of your life for purpose? They don't have to be connected. It's dangerous sometimes if they're connected because when your passion becomes your work,
Starting point is 00:33:45 then your passion becomes a business. And when your passion becomes a business, then that means it's about money. And you compromise the creative integrity and the purity of your passion. So, you're an entrepreneur, you understand that? I understand that. There is great beauty in just following the things that you love to do, just to do them because they fill you up. 100%.
Starting point is 00:34:09 And you look at like, sometimes I envy people that have a nine to five, because I'm like, you start your job at nine, you're done at five. 100%. I'm never done. And I love the idea of just clocking out and just doing whatever I want until 10 p.m.
Starting point is 00:34:23 I know something happened, we got it twisted somewhere because what happened was people started to think that being an entrepreneur was sexy. And it became a really cool hashtag and that working for the man, a corporate, or whatever is nasty and selling out. When the reality is, people don't, the psychology of it has been twisted.
Starting point is 00:34:45 The reality is, it's a lot easier to have a job you go to. Do your thing. Are you okay? Do you want a bib? I never was having a drink. Ben's feeling it is basically trying to sip water. It's a turntone IQ. I feel like I'm in a different dimension. I can just pour the water into my face and I'll absorb it through my skin.
Starting point is 00:35:04 He doesn't know. He forgot that. He forgot how to like sit from a glass. It's okay. I can get you a straw. We don't learn that in the West Coast, can you probably learn it? What? How to sit from a cup or not to use a straw?
Starting point is 00:35:16 Yeah, yeah, both. Not to use a bib. Either way, we can get you a bib if you'd like. But the fact that there was something happen, I forgot what I was even saying, but I think I was on the track of there was something happen, I forgot what I was even saying, but I think I was on the track of, there was something that got twisted with entrepreneurship, working for corporate America, and how that became evil.
Starting point is 00:35:33 And if you're doing that, then you're selling out and all these other things. But the reality is like when you work from a job, the eight to four, kind of, actually it's much easier. You have your whole life to do other things. It is easier. You know, I mean, so if it aligns with you and what you wanna do, so that I think is the distinction.
Starting point is 00:35:52 Like I think if you have this dream to do something, which means you are then going to have to become an entrepreneur to start it, you have to do it. Right. You have to try it, even if it fails, that's great. You tried it, now you won't have that regret at the end of your life. Keep going, right? You learned something by yourself, or maybe you succeed in great, like, but either way, it's a win. But I don't think everybody has that innate drive to create something. And there's nothing wrong with
Starting point is 00:36:18 that. That's the thing. There's nothing wrong with that. Nothing wrong with that. That's the point. I think it's the same, I would also argue that there's this same school thought around or this idea that in the last 10, 15 years, like for women too to become the ultra woman boss. To be and not start a family. Too much to as detriment. To exactly and not embracing their femininity. And I think that that is also a destructive narrative
Starting point is 00:36:45 because for a lot of women, that is their purpose to do. And I think that we're also swinging back to that. I think you're seeing it with a lot of the thought leadership coming back to what is success? Is success building a business? Is it making money? Or is right now my definition of success? Sleep through the night,
Starting point is 00:37:06 because it means I'm not worried and anxious about anything. I'm excited to get out of bed, and I have fun during the day. Like those are the three things that I am trying to move towards. And so I think we get caught up in this, like the grind and the idea of what we think success is.
Starting point is 00:37:24 But is that really what success is for you? And that's why you stop and you write your list because you need to decide what is your success. Because I wasn't living my success and I got depressed. And anytime I get depressed and I've been through three or four pretty heavy depressions in the last 15 years, each time I go through depression, there's a big area of my life that is not in alignment. I'm not being authentic in a big area of my life, whether it's a relationship, whether it's a job,
Starting point is 00:37:50 like the production company, I did not love it. I started to get depressed. Why didn't you like it? Because 99% of the stuff that I created never got seen. It was just like, production is your creating ideas that no one ever sees. Yeah, what kind of ideas were they? They were all TV shows. Yeah, so like unscripted. So we made like, you know, a couple of MTV shows, we did a show, you know, for free form and a bunch of,
Starting point is 00:38:18 like we made like four or five shows, but we developed like 70 great ideas. How many? Probably 70, yeah. you so how many did you sell sold? Four shows, okay, that's still good and we sold maybe like 10 15 pilots But again like you know none of them got made That's just the way it goes especially for your young production company. It's like wow and I didn't love the The work you ended up being, you were like working at an ad agency,
Starting point is 00:38:47 you had clients that the network paid the bills, they told you what the show was gonna be at the end of the day. You'd fight for it, fight for it, but this idea that you have ultimately would be chiseled away to this thing that you didn't care about by the time it went on air, because you were like, I'm over it. Yeah, totally true.
Starting point is 00:39:01 You know this podcast was sold to NBC as a TV show. And then again, it went into like a black hole of nothingness for God knows how long. And they couldn't even decide who the, it wasn't called Habit and Kusla. It was called Game Changers. And it was back and forth forever, but even who to do the pilot with for God's sake. Yeah. And I was like, oh my God, this is like mind-numbingly horrible. That like I was like, there's no way I'm going to put my destiny into my other person's
Starting point is 00:39:26 hands. I'll just like do this little podcast for a while and see what happens. And end up being better, like, better for me because it was much more an alignment to what I wanted to do, which was talk to who I wanted to talk to on my schedule, on, you know, doing it in my, you know, house versus having to deal with all the nonsense. And again, by taking action, opportunity just presents itself in ways that you've never even knew existed by just going down that path.
Starting point is 00:39:54 So I think this is a really important point and you asked me like, how have you been able to do this for so long? Milking it is what I said. Yeah, milking, I think that was actually what you said. Yeah, a couple of times. Yeah. Four or five. So like what you did there was you were going down this path
Starting point is 00:40:13 that most people go down, which is a television show, and that is what success is. And you realized that it was some, for every reason, it wasn't working for you. Like you weren't being inspired by it anymore. So you pivoted, you followed your inspiration, you followed energy. So I think it's like, you have to follow the energy.
Starting point is 00:40:35 So as you follow this, whatever it is, maybe it's the excitement, maybe it's this energy, you're like, okay, I'm gonna do this podcast, the way I wanna do it, the way that excites me, the way that lights me up Which is on my own schedule in my house with the people I want and you did that and then you continued to see this Moment and that was building you kept following it. Yeah, and you followed what you loved you followed this natural ease That means you're doing what you're supposed to be doing that means your life is in alignment and you're in flow. In that area.
Starting point is 00:41:05 Exactly. And so that's what I have done with this thing. I know now that this is a core universal truth. People are buried. They're gonna get more and more buried as the years go on because of technology, because of the pace of life, because of the internet, everything. If Matthew Arnold felt like this 170 years ago, and I felt like this 17, 18 years ago, and
Starting point is 00:41:31 people still feel like it now, more than ever, like this is a core thing. What you speak about, right? This is a core truth, but you need to continue to move in the energy or in the direction of the energy that lights you up, because that's gonna mean, that means that you're gonna be able to sort of act on it in the way that only you can. So that's the idea, it's like, figure out the thing that you wanna do and then follow that energy.
Starting point is 00:41:55 And so it's collecting data, right? That's why you write your list and you talk about it and you start to take small steps. Where's that bucket list? I wanna look at it again. Did you put it somewhere? Oh, here it is, yeah. It's a you start to take small steps. Where's that bucket list? I wanna look at it again. Did you put it somewhere? Oh, here it is, yeah. This is great.
Starting point is 00:42:07 You take small steps. And just look at it like an experiment. It doesn't matter. You're just collecting information. So you start your podcast. You're like, okay, if you could have gotten in your own way a hundred times, never started it, right? But finally, you're like, I'm just gonna put the first one out.
Starting point is 00:42:24 You put the first one out, you're like, okay, that was awful, but actually this part worked and looks like these people like this. And so I'm gonna do more of this. You're collecting data and you're just seeing if you like to do it. Well, also that what stops a lot of people is the over thinking. You can outthink yourself to doing anything
Starting point is 00:42:40 and you don't have to have all the answers. You can just basically just know that it's not not going to be perfect and that's okay. And a lot of times the best things happen from imperfection, right? Like it doesn't have to be perfect. And you know, that's what I kind of, that's my message that, but it's better than perfect is actually having something. That's actually much better, right? Like, or you have to think to yourself, like, why not me? If it can happen to this Schmendrich, it can happen to me. Don't always put your, these people on a pedestal who've done it all. I'm like, wow, I wish I can never do that. Yeah, you can. The only difference between you and that person who succeeded is that they actually
Starting point is 00:43:17 went through the process and did it. They didn't take no for an answer and they persisted. They were brave. They were brave. That's what it is. They were bold. I say bold, but you know. I say brave. I know. I say, I say, I say, I say, I say, I guess it's made up in a work. I guess not.
Starting point is 00:43:31 I guess. No, it's true. Like you typically will look at someone that you don't know that's exceeding and think they're better than me. They're smarter than me. That's why it's so important to surround yourself with people that inspire you. Because when you see your friends do incredible things, you don't say they're better than me. You say why it's so important to surround yourself with people that inspire you. Because when you see your friends do incredible things, you don't say they're better than me.
Starting point is 00:43:46 You say, I know that person, they're not better than me, they're the same. Exactly. And if they did that, I wonder what I can do. You get inspired by them. And that's why that one decision that I made to surround myself with people that inspire me, change my life forever, I still subscribe to that.
Starting point is 00:44:00 And I get lifted up by the people around me, subconsciously. 100%. Just by the fact that they're doing cool and interesting things. I see them achieve something. I'm like, man, that's incredible. I wonder, like I could probably do this other thing that I'm thinking. And the other crazy thing, this is the big mind fuck's like, okay, if I look back at what started this for me back in 2006 and this actually was the spark for all three of my friends and me was our friend from high school that started a clothing line out of nowhere. And we were all like, oh my god, how did you do that? And he's like, what do you mean? He's like, how did you start
Starting point is 00:44:35 the clothing? You don't have any experience in production and clothes and I did, you took out a loan, what? And he's like, what do you mean? I just did it. And I was like, whoa. What is it? What was a clothing line called? Is it a round? Well, this is the thing. It's not a round anymore. It wasn't a success, but he inspired all of us to do buried life.
Starting point is 00:44:53 Bury life inspired a whole bunch of other people to do their thing. If he would not have started that clothing line, none of this would have happened. And so you look at that, you're like, that's, uh, was not a success. Dude, he changed the world. You do what you happened. And so you look at that, you're like, that's, uh, was not a success. Dude, he changed the world. You do what you love. You inspire other people to do what they love, and that ripple effect goes far beyond what you ever know. So that's the ripple effect that you talk about. That's amazing. So is that what you speak about on all these keynotes? I do talk about the ripple effect of trying to give people permission to go after the things that they love by saying that by you doing that, you're going to give other people permission to do the thing that they love,
Starting point is 00:45:27 just like you doing this thing that you love, how many people have been like, you inspired me to do this, you inspired me to do that, countless. Yeah, I did a TED talk about being bold actually, that went viral, and how many people, like I think about 50,000 people said that, because of that boldness, they did something bold that then changed their life, that changed someone else's life, which is 100% true. So imagine if you could measure that.
Starting point is 00:45:52 That would be super cool. How do you, can you figure that out? Is there an algorithm? That's what I want to do in the documentary. Really? Yeah, is that quantify the ripple effect? That's, if you can figure that out, would you use AI for that or how would you even do that? How do you use AI for that or how would you even do that?
Starting point is 00:46:05 How do you quantify that? I don't know. It's something that is, I think, so cool because it's proof. It's proof that one person can change the world. It's proof that one person can create an incredible impact. And so knowing that, then you stop thinking about what your definition of success is. Totally true. Because just by being yourself, you're inspiring other people to be themselves
Starting point is 00:46:26 and that changes the world. And so that's the big idea. And there's a ripple effect when you do what you love, but there's also a ripple effect when you help someone. Because when you help someone, like you said, you help this person through the TED Talk, but that actually helped their family, that helped their friends.
Starting point is 00:46:40 So you help the people that are connected to them, and so small acts of kindness can create these huge rubble. You can save someone's life by giving them a compliment, right? Like it's not exaggeration. Someone could do walking towards the bridge to jump off and you could just be the one person in their life that just showed them any type of kindness and humanity and they just thought, you know what? Like there's stories like that. I know there's a lot of stories by the way like that. I think that that is actually a super cool concept. If you can actually quantify that, that would be incredible.
Starting point is 00:47:11 I would imagine that is that what you're really working on right now in the documentary? Yeah, that's why we're talking with that group to... Yeah, I won't say the name, but if you can do that, I mean, I think it would be amazing. All right, guys, I'm excited to share my recent discovery with you. It's called cozy earth. And it's a brand that creates luxury goods that can truly transform your lifestyle. Their betting is expertly designed to regulate your temperature with options
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Starting point is 00:49:53 you can stay 30% off your first subscription order of ketone IQ at hvmn.com slash gen. Again, visit hvmn.com slash Gen and subscribe upon checkout for 30% off. Woo-hoo! You know, it also you said something I was listening to. I think your Ted was at a TED Talk. I don't know, but you said something. I was listening to, I think your Ted, was it a Ted talk? I don't know, but you said something, and I was like, wow, that was really profound, little Ben, because you know what you said? You said that most people shoot for the middle,
Starting point is 00:50:32 so it's actually the most competitive, is what you said. Unrealistic gold or less competitive, because nobody is going for them, and that is 100% true. And I was like, you know what, that is so wise and true, right? Because people think, oh, I can't get there. So they don't even try.
Starting point is 00:50:49 So the competition is so much less. Like the thing that you did, like when you, when you like, when you guys played basketball with like Obama, right? Like the president of the United States, that is so crazy to me that you were able to do that. You were able to do that, but you have not yet been on the cover of Rolling Stones,
Starting point is 00:51:05 it was just kind of funny. But like, because he has so much security around, he's got so much everything, but I bet you how many people actually, like they may want to do that, but how many people actually truly attempted to play with him, probably not many. Totally, and that's the thing.
Starting point is 00:51:21 And you know why that's so wise, that thing that you said is because I didn't say it in the beginning. Oh, you didn't say it. Oh, damn it. And you know why that's so wise, that thing that you said is because I didn't say it in the beginning. Oh, you didn't say it. Oh, damn it. But you know who said that? Okay, who? Tim Ferris. Yeah. But I did talk about it in my... Did Tim... Did he say it or did he take it from someone else? The ripple effect? Probably, yeah. I can't wait. I don't think he said it. I would argue that most things that people say are not original thoughts, but you...
Starting point is 00:51:43 I agree. But it's that's fine, because you're saying them in a way that resonates now in a bit of a different way. You say bold, I say brave, we're gonna break bread, we're gonna get over this. I know, I hope so, I really do. I like you so much, I mean, I don't know if I can,
Starting point is 00:51:58 it's gonna take me a minute. This is a big divide. Yeah. Also, Victoria, Toronto, East Coast, West Coast. I mean, it's a little different from the same, you know? You hippies in the suits. Yeah, it's a hundred percent true. But we'll get we can make it. We can do it. Let's do a therapy session. We should. We should. We can call one of your therapists since you do have a speed dial. In my favorites, of course. Okay, well, because you said you also
Starting point is 00:52:24 struggled with depression many times. So once was the production company. Once was the production company. Once was the rugby and when you were younger, once the other time. Once was I, when I realized that relationship wasn't right, long-term relationship. Were you really depressed or were you just like in a,
Starting point is 00:52:39 in a, in a, in a, no, I was, you know, so the, the good thing about going through your first sort of mental health crisis or struggle or whatever, by the way, everyone goes through one. Like this is just, if you look at their research, like, we'll all go through some sort of mental health struggle, not necessarily from a mental health illness, but like bereavement from a loss or stress or a divorce or getting fired. So, like let's just go out and say, like this happens to human beings. If you are struggling right now,
Starting point is 00:53:09 there's more people struggling right now than ever, please talk about it. Talk about it with someone that you love or a therapist. And there's nothing wrong with you, there's nothing broken. You haven't lost anything. You know, I've had conversation with friends lately that are going through a tough time
Starting point is 00:53:24 and they think that they are not the person they used to be. Mm-hmm. And it's, they are the same person. They've just lost touch with those things that they are those ways of being that they used to feel that now they are not able to tap into, right? So, but they don't go anywhere. You never lost them.
Starting point is 00:53:42 Like, when I felt depressed, I was like, They're just buried. They're buried. I was like, I'll never be that guy again. I can't even imagine going out and talking with somebody Let alone like being out in public and having fun at a party or Being a type and being a happy go lucky guy. Well, guess what? I still am that guy That's part of who I am, but you lose touch with those feelings, but they don't go anywhere. So it's just about doing small little positive habits and you'll slowly start to feel like you're climbing
Starting point is 00:54:12 yourself out of this thing, but you have to commit to doing those things even when you don't feel like it. Yeah, it's true. It's hard to note, recognize that when you're in the moment, but I think that everyone feels that way. And it's always the people, though I find that you least expect. If someone looks perfect, usually, underneath, there's probably struggling with something.
Starting point is 00:54:29 Yeah, or if they're super talented, it's just a balance. I told that's so true, too. Like, I think people that are gifted also struggle the most because it's just, they're so gifted in this one area, but there's this other area of their life where they have blind spots, so that are just not as evolved. No, it's so true because everything, they've dominated in one area so much that it's just, it's like, that's kind of like how life balance itself out, right?
Starting point is 00:54:56 Yeah, exactly. I totally find it. But how do you tell people in the moment when they're in that moment that, oh, it's going to get better, you just have to do these positive things. Like, you were lucky when you were young that your friends actually got you to a place where you actually left to go to bounce. Like, most people would be like,
Starting point is 00:55:11 fuck off, get out of my house and not do it. You know what I mean? Like, you have to... You show up, you show up for your friends. You have to... You gotta show up again and again and call them and show, make them feel that you're there for them and that you know that they're gonna get through this.
Starting point is 00:55:30 And you have to push them to do those things, right? Like they have to also, you know, sometimes you can't help people if they don't ultimately wanna help themselves, but you know, if this is someone that's like going through it for the first time, then for me, I know I've been there, I know that you haven't done this before. It's like going through the creative process for the first time.
Starting point is 00:55:50 You go through it and there's always a moment where you're like, I can't do this. I don't get it, I don't know how I'm going to do this. This is a total cluster of facts. Overwhelming. Over that hump. It all comes together and you've created something. Yeah. It's the same, like this arc of going through this struggle, you're like, you through the mud and then you start to see as you get through it, you look back like, oh yeah,
Starting point is 00:56:12 I know why this happened to me. Right. You don't know in the moment. No. You connect the dots. That's also with like, like these people who people, by the way, I don't think that people are so much looking for advice. They're looking for someone to believe in them more than advice.
Starting point is 00:56:25 You can shitchat all you want. If you have someone who believes in you, I think it gets you much further. But I want to talk more about you have here, five steps to make the impossible possible. So you said the accountability piece of writing stuff down. What's the other stuff?
Starting point is 00:56:40 Write it down, share it. Share it, yeah, what was the other one? So it's, it's been stoppable, which is really about like creating your own inspiration through action. So taking small steps, even if you don't know how you're gonna achieve it, you create your own momentum. So mood follows action as Rich Roll would say.
Starting point is 00:56:57 So it's like you're the architect of your own inspiration by taking action. Right. And I think too that it's sometimes we don't know what we're capable of or we don't know what's possible until we're there doing it. So you can't even imagine yourself doing it until you've made it and you're like, oh my god, we're here.
Starting point is 00:57:15 And so that is all just reinforcement around this idea of like UK, you just got a key taking small steps and you'll start to feel that inspiration. So you don't wait for it, you create it. The other is be brave, be bold I mean. Yes, thank you. I'm like, oh, you keep on saying it. It's like you're like torturing me here, God. Be bold.
Starting point is 00:57:36 Yeah. Be bold and that is moving through fear. So this is the big one. This is the big barrier that everyone, most people, this is the big stopping point. I'm afraid what other people will think or I'm afraid to fail. And that's what Dr. Gilovich found through his research.
Starting point is 00:57:50 This is the number one barrier. So you look at, okay, let's look at the fear of what other people think. Doesn't go away. You get better at it. Some people, very rare. They just give no fucks. Most people don't, most people, by the way,
Starting point is 00:58:02 don't even care what you're doing. People think that people care. You don't give a shit. You're too busy thinking about yourself. Exactly. People do not care. And so you're worried, you're making up this whole thing and people aren't even thinking about you.
Starting point is 00:58:16 No. So it's basically like, it's basically like, that's what it is. It's like, it's like your, your, a mime comes over and a mime is like, mimeing that you're in a mime comes over and a mime is like Mining that you're in a box and you're like, oh, fuck. How am I gonna get all this box? I just gotta wait until someone comes and opens it for me and there's no box there. It's like that's the fear It doesn't it's a Ron basically and so and then you're also afraid of failure because you're afraid of one of the people think but
Starting point is 00:58:44 the failure is great. The failure means you're learning about yourself. The failure is a pivot in the right direction that discomfort that you feel is growth. So it's a positive thing. Because you just have to get comfortable with being uncomfortable and then you start to realize, oh, this doesn't go away, this feeling.
Starting point is 00:59:01 I'm never gonna be ready enough so that I don't feel the fear of getting on stage for the first time. You're just gonna feel it, but you know that's part and parcel with doing something that means something to you. So you actually should think, well, great. This is like the difference between anxiety
Starting point is 00:59:17 and excitement, very delicate difference. Very, like it's a hate. It's not even. It's basically, it's so similar that when I used to feel. Yeah, totally. Anxious about going on stage. I would then think to myself, oh, perfect. I'm excited.
Starting point is 00:59:31 And I could shift that anxiety into excitement because that meant that this was a meaningful talk. So. Do you ever get anxiety anymore? Because you're so, you've done like, we said 200 last year or something crazy. Yeah, I don't get anxiety often. And I get excited, but I would get anxiety if I did a toast at my friends wedding.
Starting point is 00:59:52 Right. I would get anxiety if I did a TED talk, for sure. Right, but not because you do the same keynote all the time. Would you have a few that you interchange? I have a few different keynotes and then I change. So my process is like, I spend a lot of time learning about the goals and the stresses and the impact that they're making.
Starting point is 01:00:09 So when I articulate the ripple effect, I need to know how they actually impact people and the work they do. When I talk about how leadership cares about them, I need to understand, do they actually care and how do they care? So I reinforce all these things that the company does through my message. So it's it's oh
Starting point is 01:00:27 To leave them into the yeah, yeah, so I sent a lot of questionnaire then I got on a call with them I figured how they give back and I figured out what they're what they're struggling with and then I relate that to my story So you know, there's there's a lot of the similar arcs, but it's like the these pieces I put in it And I think that's really important as a speaker so that you're not just doing the canned speech again. Right, so what are your topics really? And now I'm just curious that it's basically impossible to possible is like sort of one big idea of achieving the impossible. Then there's rethinking mental health. And that has like this, I talk about my mental health toolkit which are habits that I have learned.
Starting point is 01:01:10 Like, you know, when I said, I think that your struggles can be your strengths when you really embrace them because through these areas in my life where I've hit lows, I've really been forced to learn stuff about myself. Just like your forced to learn stuff about yourself when you go through a breakup, that's why it's really hard. You can't, you got to look in the mirror. So it's an opportunity for you to really figure out who you are and learn things about yourself. So I learn
Starting point is 01:01:34 these habits. What were the habits for mental health? So they are, these are also, I put my mental health toolkit as on my Instagram bio. So you can download the toolkit if you click on that. Thanks, so they don't have to listen to the podcast. They could just go on your Instagram. I thought we were just done. Oh, yeah, I thought it's. No, no, no. There's a lot.
Starting point is 01:01:55 There's a lot. What do you mean, how many are in the toolkit? Yeah, there's like, you know, 10 or 12. Yeah. Can you give me five? I can give you them all if I can remember them. Okay, so let's start with the easy ones. Purpose, right? That's where you all if I can remember them. Okay. So let's start with the easy ones. Purpose, right?
Starting point is 01:02:05 That's why you have a body list. Nature. Okay. Just being out nature for 20 minutes makes you feel happier. That's why in Japan doctors will prescribe forest bathing to patients that are feeling anxious and depressed. Just go out nature. Don't have to exercise.
Starting point is 01:02:18 You're going to feel a sense of well-being. I don't know if you've heard of this thing called exercise. Never heard of it. That's good. You should do it. Really? You should try it. I don't know if you've heard of this thing called exercise? Never heard of it. It's good. You should do it. Really? You should try it. I want to try it.
Starting point is 01:02:29 What's it about? What do you do? I have no idea. Is it like you basically just move around or? It's like Zumba. Like Zumba, but a little different, okay? Yeah, exercise. You should definitely try it.
Starting point is 01:02:40 I'm going to try it. Release the serotoninamin makes you feel happier. But I think actually what's interesting about exercise, that I felt like I needed to go to the gym or do a proper workout and I never had time. And then I was just like, I'm just gonna do every time I get up in the morning, I'm gonna do pushups so I can't do anymore,
Starting point is 01:02:58 I'm gonna do situps so I can't do anymore. And that's it, or I'm gonna do pullups, and I'm gonna do squat jumps, like seven minutes, five minutes, three, and that was like really kicked off my well-being physically. Is that what you still do? I try and do that, but now I have more of a routine in the gym.
Starting point is 01:03:19 Do you go to the gym then? Do you like lift weights now? No, right, as of now I've been doing a strength training and then play tennis. Play tennis? You play tennis, not pick up one. No, I, as of now I've been doing a strength training and then... Play tennis. You play tennis, not pickable. No, I was only doing, pickleball was my gateway drug to tennis,
Starting point is 01:03:29 which is a real sport. It's a real sport. But pickleball is so freaking popular, it's unbelievable. They'll get to tennis. Yeah, well, they will get. Tennis is very popular, but having pickleball is like the entry, like the gateway.
Starting point is 01:03:41 It's like, and it's easier, yeah. Exactly. I was doing heroin now. Yeah, I know you really are, exactly. Are you doing what's like the IV? Okay, so... gateway. And it's easier, yeah, exactly. I'm just doing heroin now. Yeah, I know you really are, exactly. Are you doing what's like the IV? Okay, so, okay. Okay, let me go see this why I said you gotta go to Instagram,
Starting point is 01:03:51 because I knew we were gonna go. Oh yeah, okay, okay, go ahead. Here's, I'm gonna go through nature, exercise, purpose, connection, talk about it. Talk about with the therapist. These things in your head, they're scarier in your head. When you talk about them, you there, that's a way that you process and break them down. They're just scarier in your head. When you talk about them, that's a way that you process and break them down.
Starting point is 01:04:05 They're just scarier in your head until you start to voice them. You give someone else the opportunity to help you too. Then when they go through their time of need, they come back to you. So you're opening the door for them to come back to you, which is really important and powerful. Mindfulness. I like T.M. Transcendental Meditation.
Starting point is 01:04:19 They're popular. But mindfulness doesn't need to be meditation. I think people get caught up and be like, I can't meditate. Great. Fine. Mindful walk. Put down your phone. But mindfulness doesn't need to be meditation. I think people get caught up and be like, I can't meditate. Great, fine. Mindful walk. Put down your phone, go for a walk, listen to the breeze, the birds, listen to your breath.
Starting point is 01:04:32 Take a mindful, three mindful breaths through your lower abdomen or do a box breath, which is like four-in-hold, four-back out. You know, I think that mindfulness is just being mindful of where you are. Okay, so is that all for your toolbox? Can we move on now? Now you're trying to get me to move on. Well, no, it sounds great. I love it.
Starting point is 01:04:51 People can check his Instagram, go down this scrolling it, but I think those are good examples. I don't even know how long this podcast's been and I wanted to add all these questions about your actual bucket list. Like what was the hardest thing for you to pull off? What, like, we do rapid fire. You wanna do it like, okay,
Starting point is 01:05:05 cause the list is a good one and it's long, but I can get into stories that we'll be here for days, but I'll do like quick. Yeah, what was the hardest one to pull off? So, probably make a TV show. Took about, you know, we wanted to make the show as executive producers and as people that never produced anything any
Starting point is 01:05:26 Minute of television and lived on an island in Canada to come down from M to to shell short MTV Canada No, so to sell a show to MTV we turned down a show from MTV Canada because they wouldn't let us be executive producers Oh, so we just ended up taking the footage. We cut a pilot We had crashed the MTV video awards in Vegas in 2007. Gone in the awards, pretended we were filming a secret pilot for MTV. Fortune email from the CEO of MTV Junior McGrash showed it to security, had a big purple bus and a crew faked our way in, got out, no one knew. We took that footage, cut a pilot, MTV watching.
Starting point is 01:06:00 They're like, what? Like, you guys did this? We had no idea. They didn't know? No, sold it to them. It's so meta. Like, you guys did this? We had no idea. They didn't know? Nope, sold it to them. It's so meta. Like, made a pilot about making a fake pilot. That got us the show.
Starting point is 01:06:11 And it just like, for us coming from Victoria, MTV still, like, this was like the Jersey Shore era. Our first season was the same for season as Jersey Shore. So it's like, MTV was huge. And we got to make the show we wanted to make. We were, we lost two years of our lives, but we were so just bullheaded on making this real. So when we like, streak to field, we were like really doing it and we didn't clear the
Starting point is 01:06:36 venue and like nothing, it was all docu-style. But like reality television is not real. Our show was fucking real. That's what's amazing. It was real, right? Like how did you guys actually get to do those things? We would ask for forgiveness later. We would figure out a way after.
Starting point is 01:06:53 Yeah, don't ask for permission, that's for sure. Yeah, make a toast to strangers wedding. We, you know, embarrassingly crash the playboy mansion, got in, got permission after from Hugh Hefner. Everyone said no. We finally got his personal assistant, and we sent him the DVD of the episode. He showed it to him.
Starting point is 01:07:11 He watched it, he gave his permission. It was a whole thing. We survived him to an island legitimately. How long were you on a desert island? We were three nights, four days. The crew would come during the day. They'd film us. They'd leave.
Starting point is 01:07:24 We only could bring one thing with us each that couldn't be fire or food. And we lived off coconuts and crabs. Are you serious? How much of your hundred-thing list was done on the TV show versus before you got the TV show? We had done at least 50 before and we did what, two seasons, 18 episodes, so we did 18 list items. So I've been sleeping on these blissey pillowcases lately, and let me just tell you, I had no idea a pillowcase could actually get me
Starting point is 01:07:57 at better night's sleep. Blissey is amazing. They use a hundred percent mulberry silk, and if you're someone who tends to sweat or overheat while sleeping Blissey has your back. It's temperature regulating and insulating properties keep you cool all night So you won't be constantly waking up sweating or flipping your pillow round and around because I know you know what I'm talking about But that's not all it also is great for your hair
Starting point is 01:08:22 So there's no more frizz, hair breakage. It actually keeps the moisture in your hair. And it also keeps your skincare products on your face, not on your pillow. Because the silk does not absorb the moisture off of your face. So say goodbye to waking up with wrinkles, dryness, or redness, and just wake up healthier
Starting point is 01:08:44 and happier with nicer skin and hair. These pillowcases are amazing. They're also hyperallergenic, so it's great if you have allergies. They're washable in the machine, durable. You've got to try them. The blissy silk pillowcases are the best silk pillowcases on the market burn on. So try now risk-free for 60 nights at blissey.com slash hustle and get an additional 30% off. That's B-L with Blissy. So what did you do prior to getting this show that made them even, besides doing that amazing stunt at the Las Vegas thing, where you guys? Yeah,
Starting point is 01:09:33 we had filmed for, we've been doing it for three years. So it was a really a three-year period. That was what I wanted to know. Yeah. Okay, and so what of the, in that three-year period before MTV came on, what were some of the biggest ones that you guys were able to do? We did rideable. We sung the national anthem to the Canadian anthem, which was an NBA game. And it was just because Steve Nash was Canadian. Was Canadian. Was Canadian. How did you get that?
Starting point is 01:10:00 We convinced them that we could sing. I don't know. Who was the main guy? Like, where are these guys now? Where are your friends? One of them is a professor at Cambridge in the UK. Yeah, one of them does a ton of writing. And one of them is running our production company and also doing this incredible job of buying houses
Starting point is 01:10:22 and turning them into Airbnb's and rentals and stuff like that. Oh, you guys are all friends still. Yeah. And we're all sort of like, we're focusing on some of us more than others on the documentary. But we've done a good job of allowing each person to follow their own path, you know? Yeah. Follow that. So, and we all left Barry life for five, six years. And then I kind of got re-ignited. You know, follow that. So, and we all left Barry for five, six years, and then I kinda got re-ignited.
Starting point is 01:10:47 And the book, the number one New York Times bestseller, was that your book, with those guys, was it just your book? With those guys. So it was all four of you guys. Four of us? Yeah, and then the Buckleys Journal is the one that I just, is yours.
Starting point is 01:10:59 Okay, so of the group, who was the most, like just tenacious and persistent and just, you know, balls to the wall to get the stuff done? I was like the producer of the group. I was always wrangling making it happen. And so that was my job. And so, like, so the thing in Vegas, when you guys crashed the awards,
Starting point is 01:11:22 I counted that even, like, who was able to, like, how did you even get that, or the president, like, playing basketball the president? Like, to me, I'm still on that one because there's so much red tape on that, you know what I mean? Other things that you can finagle around, but that's legit, you know? Yeah, that was about 100 Nose that we got.
Starting point is 01:11:40 I mean, we, this is basically the timeline very quickly. Send dozens of emails to any politician that has a little public list of email on their website that is in DC. Saying, we're trying to be fast with a president to prove that anyone can do anything, just take a meeting with us. Drive to DC, have as many meetings as we can
Starting point is 01:11:59 with lower-level officials. In those meetings, we can oftentimes convince them to convince their boss to meet with us. So we start lobbying DC to try and figure out how do we do this? We learn that there's this secret basketball game that happens and the man that sets it up is the person later the president, Reggie Love. So everyone's like, you gotta, Reggie loves your guy. Like he's your keys to the game because he sets them up if Obama's playing, Reggie Love is playing. So we're trying to get a hold of Reggie Love. We're moving up the ladder. We get a meeting with the Secretary of Transportation.
Starting point is 01:12:28 He puts in a call to the White House while we're in the room, get an email shortly after. And White House is like, thank you for your inquiry about playing basketball the President. Unfortunately, we cannot arrange a game with the President. And we're just like, all right, one no. Like we just, we leave voice, you can leave a voice mail at at the White House. Like, you can call anyone to call and leave a message. So we're leaving messages. We're sending letters. We're picking it up. Picketing outside the White House with signs wearing basketball uniforms in the 1970s. We are trying to figure out how to get a hold of Reggie Love to get this game going. Any high level official we're trying to meet with Tim Geithner was a Secretary of Treasury.
Starting point is 01:13:03 We heard that Reggie Love works out at the YMCA every morning at 6. I just go to the Y. I'm waiting for Reggie and I'm like, ask the guy at the front desk, I'm like, is Reggie Love coming? And he's like, no. He's like, but you know who that is? I was like, who is that? That's a Secretary of Treasury. I go, I follow him into the Ben's bathroom.
Starting point is 01:13:20 I'm like, okay, it's pumping myself up to talk with him. He's so quick and getting changed. He's already in his bathing suit in the pool. I'm like, fuck, I just get a towel, get undressed. I don't know the bathing suit on. I just put a towel over my boxers and I go out to the lap like where they're doing laps. And I'm just kind of loitering, trying to pretend
Starting point is 01:13:41 to stretch by where he's like doing laps. Finally, he comes up to the lap. I just, his head comes up at the end of the pool. I tell him, kneel down, I'm like, hey Tim, he listen, and I just give him the pitch. And he's like, like, you can email my assistant. I can tell he's not enthusiastic. I look up, I see secret service in the window,
Starting point is 01:14:01 just standing against the window, looking at me. I'm like, oh God, I gotta get out of here. So like, we do all these things. Finally, we find the email for, we do an interview with a sports writer that used to, Reggie loved played basketball at Duke, he had interviewed Reggie, because he had played ball at Duke,
Starting point is 01:14:19 and he was the ESPN writer, so we can convince him to give us his email. He's like, I don't know if it's still good. Here you go. So we start sending him emails. He's like, I don't know if it's still good. Here you go. So we started sending him emails. We're like, Reggie, you and the president, that's the subject, you and the president versus us. YMCA tonight, be there.
Starting point is 01:14:34 So we're challenging him and the president to a basketball game. We just keep sending these emails. We go to the Y, we wait. He's not there. Go to the Y, wait. Literally, we got a phone call on a block number and it's Reggie left.
Starting point is 01:14:43 He's like, what's this I hear about? You wanted to play basketball against a president and I? And I'm like, I explain to him why. He's like, you know what? I like this. I really like this. I think I can make this happen.
Starting point is 01:14:53 Give me two weeks. I got to run it by the press team. They got to sign off on everything. They sign off on this. We can do this. I feel good about it. Calls me back. He's like, I talk with the press team.
Starting point is 01:15:01 It's not going to happen. Oh my God. We're like, fuck. And he's literally like, as a consolation prize, he's like, listen, I'm press team. It's not gonna happen. Oh my God. We're like, fuck. And he's literally like, as a consolation prize, he's like, listen, I'm sorry guys, nothing I can do. If you're ever back in DC, let me know. I'll give you a tour of the White House. So three months later, we were back there for a talk.
Starting point is 01:15:14 We call him up. I sent him an email. He gets back to us. He's like, swing by the White House tomorrow. And so we go by the White House. We rent suits from a frickin' pro-mental store. We're like, we're like, just like, what do you wear in the White House?
Starting point is 01:15:29 We're living on a bus. And so we go, he meets us, he shows us around, and we're like, can we film this? And he's like, yeah, the president's not in town, go for it. We film, and as we're filming, we hear these steps in this voice, be like, it's President Obama. Be like, hey guys, heard you in town, go for it, we film, and as we're filming, we hear these steps in this voice, be like, it's President Obama, be like, hey guys, heard you in town, thought at least I could do
Starting point is 01:15:49 shoot a basket with you, and he literally surprised us on the courts, and we're like, what? And so then we were kicked it with the president shooting around for like 15 minutes. There's like White House photographer, and we were like trash talking to shooting shots. We were talking about having free healthcare in Canada. Really?
Starting point is 01:16:10 That's so cool. He was passing the healthcare bill. Yeah. The time. And we're like, dude, we support this. We've had this forever. It's the best. That is, was that the coolest one of all?
Starting point is 01:16:21 Definitely. It was probably the top. Yeah, because it was also something that I thought was And totally impossible totally we wrote that down when Obama got elected in 2008 Johnny called me up He was like I know what we should put on the list I'm like what he's like play basketball with Obama and I laughed out loud I was like that is the most impossible thing we could think of doing and his response was yeah, but how amazing would it be? And I was like, can't argue with that. Wrote it on the list.
Starting point is 01:16:47 Three years later, at the White House. Three years, it took to get that done. Yep. And so it was proof then that this thing that I thought was impossible was possible. So now, my whole, after you do, and I think everyone has the ability to prove to themselves that they are capable of achieving things that are impossible.
Starting point is 01:17:05 Once you do that a couple of times, your belief system changes. Moving forward, when you face a challenge, you don't think, can I do this? You think, do I want to do this? Does this align with my values? Is this something that I know is going to be a lot of work, but do I want to do it? That was the shift for me where I was like, I have no choice but to believe that anything's possible, because I just see it right happening now with my own eyes. I knew that this was impossible.
Starting point is 01:17:26 And here it is happening. And the other crazy part, that day, we had our first call with the Oprah producers and we were late for the call. And we were like, guys, so we were late. We were shooting here for the White House of Obama. It was like the most surreal day. Oh my God.
Starting point is 01:17:42 Oh, all time. And then we announced that we did it on Oprah. It was like, look, what is going on? Crazy. That is an amazing story. The fact that you were even on Oprah was a great, I mean, that's what I'm saying. Like, I'm surprised that the Rolling Stone,
Starting point is 01:17:58 but they didn't put you on the cover while you had the show, right? Could it make perfect sense? Yeah, it's hard to get on a Rolling Stone. Oh, trust me, I know it's super hard. It'd be like, yeah, as someone that's not a musician, it's funny, because this just happened. 2000s, the precursor of this, 2007, this is pre-MTV show.
Starting point is 01:18:15 Someone works for Men's Health. Men's Health is owned by Yon Wen, which owns Rolling Stone. She is able to get us a 15 minute meeting with Yon Wen. We go into his office, corner office if you could imagine. Like, Matt, you're just beautiful, huge, iconic. And we have 15 minutes with him. And we start talking.
Starting point is 01:18:34 And we just, we have this really funny back and forth where we end up staying there for an hour. He ends up yelling, asking, this assistant to get a knife so we can get us out of here. Like, we're shooting the shit at the end of the meeting. We talk about skiing because he loves skiing, and we're trash talking about, we can ski faster than you.
Starting point is 01:18:50 He's like, no way. Anyways, we end up skiing with him for the next like five Christmas, like winter breaks and sunvality. And we've got sunvality, yeah. Yeah, sunvality out of hell. And we, he's a, one of the most fascinating human beings because he's met every single notable iconic,
Starting point is 01:19:04 famous person. Yeah. And so I was in New York two days ago. I haven't seen Yon in 10 years, and I went by his house for lunch, and I talked with him. Really? Yeah, I had a lunch with him, caught up, and it was really fun.
Starting point is 01:19:20 I said, Yon, you ever do a cover that's a mosaic, right? A hundred little photos making up one photo picture. You know who to call. Well, that's our technicality, how we can cross this off. Why will he not put you, is it his son Gus now runs? Yeah, he's got to talk to Gus. I know Gus is actually on this podcast, I know Gus. I mean, you never know.
Starting point is 01:19:44 Why did, have you asked Gus? I haven't asked Gus, I have not asked Gus. Look, I think when the doc comes out, maybe there's a chance, maybe when we do go to space, that's the number 100, but I think that there's a way, with the big ones, there's a way to do it in a cheeky way. In a cheeky way, for sure. Maybe it's like, yeah, a there's a cover and maybe
Starting point is 01:20:05 they need background in the cover shoot so maybe there's exactly you don't have to be the star of the cover. I will definitely will not be the most. The most big is a great idea though. I think unless you end up being like a great guitarist and become like the next Lenny Kravitz you never know. Yeah. Although you don't like to play guitar even though you have it in your house or something. I remember hearing that interview. Yeah yeah I do yeah't like to play guitar, even though you have it in your house or something. I remember hearing that in an interview. Yeah, yeah, I do, yeah, I have one. I haven't started, so I better get on that. Yeah, I mean, that's your way in.
Starting point is 01:20:29 I don't know why you haven't practiced. Since 2006, you've had this dream. You could have become like, you know, Lezz Eppelin for all I know. Yeah. Okay, so I guess, I mean, it's been forever. I don't know how long you've been. I love how I said, let's do rapid fire
Starting point is 01:20:43 and I just told the longest story. Oh, 100% I noticed that, but I didn't want to be rude, you know what I mean? You were so happy. I'm pretty excited about that. You were super excited. Okay, one other question and we're gonna wrap. Out of all, you know, you've met now,
Starting point is 01:20:56 you've met a million people, you've helped a lot of people help get to their, you know, getting their bucket list things tipped off. What was the most common one thing that you've heard most people say that they want to see? I think it is travel related, travel. It's gonna be some, go somewhere. Yeah, I think that's also the easiest thing to think of.
Starting point is 01:21:21 That's why in the journal, travel adventures, the first category, because I wanted to be easy for people. I think that there's also a common one is around relationships, reconnecting with someone you've lost touch with, maybe doing something with your parent, taking your mom, your dad to do something that they want to do. That's actually, yeah. You know, that type of thing telling someone how you feel.
Starting point is 01:21:46 I think that's the next layer, because those are two of the top five regrets. Well, and also, yeah, I mean, I think when you ask people like that or how about when you just do your talks and like you're obviously like up there for a while, like people start to think about all the things that they haven't done and what they want to do. Yeah, you get deeper.
Starting point is 01:22:03 You get deeper, right? And you have the street that's like, yeah. And we would always have people, when we asked them on the street, sometimes they would run after us and be like, no, no, no, this is it. Or they'd think, they'd say, I don't know. And then they'd find us later
Starting point is 01:22:15 because it's like you're planting a seed. Absolutely. I just love it. I think it's such a great exercise in general. Like it makes you think. Yeah. Of what you're not accomplished. And know, of what you're not accomplished. And also what you're saying earlier about the fact that like people who get depressed
Starting point is 01:22:29 because they don't feel like they're, how they used to be or they're never going to get back to it, you know, it's because they're not, they feel like they've been buried with like not living authentically. And so people are, and that living lives for other people their whole life, which is so sad. I, it's the saddest. Yeah. And the thing that's really sad is that you don't know it until it's too late.
Starting point is 01:22:50 Too late, that's the problem. That's what's so sad. You don't know it until you're on your deathbed and you have that moment of honesty with yourself. And that's why people's lives change when they have near death experiences or someone close to them dies because they're forced to wake up. Absolutely. It rattles them. So, how can you give someone that shock without giving them that traumatic experience?
Starting point is 01:23:13 And that's what I'm trying to do. Well, you're doing it. And milking it for 20 years. I mean, you're doing it better than anybody I know. I mean, okay, so Ben, how many people find you besides, of course, on stage at one of these, you know, 500 events that you do a year? www.milkingit.com.
Starting point is 01:23:33 That's, yeah, I was gonna add that in the notes in the show notes. The show notes? Yeah. Instagram is probably my most active, which is just my name at Ben Nempton. And then the bucket list journal is on Amazon, or writeyourlist.com.
Starting point is 01:23:47 Right. And if you're a company who wants a great, by the way, the reason why I even, I should say, is because my husband's friend saw you at the GNC, not GNC, the YPO, GLC thing. Cool. And they said you were a great speaker. They really thought you were great. And I don't know what your topic was that was it impossible possible yeah I did something like that with and then I woven leadership stuff because they're all presidents of big companies
Starting point is 01:24:15 Right or they own their own companies. And now you're doing an event for that chapter I think too. I'm doing yeah I'm now doing like yp. Beverly Hills, L.A., New York, Boston, Chicago. I'm going out for Costa Rica and Nicaragua. I'm talking with all of those chapters. It's serious. Yeah, like from that YPO, because that's the main.
Starting point is 01:24:37 Yeah, that's the main. I probably got 25 chapters. I just, today I got two more from New York and like Tulsa. Oh my god. You're like great. Can I get a loan? I mean that could be your other job. Like holy shit. You're just raking it in. It's speaking is amazing. Oh my gosh. Amazing. Okay. Well, thank you for coming on this podcast. You were such a delight, even though you say the word brave, but you know, we'll get past it. Hey, it was bold of me to come and I'm glad I came. Yeah, there you go.
Starting point is 01:25:10 No, it was a treat. I know I do that you're Canadian and obviously that's why we have so much fun. That's absolutely. That was a cherry on top actually. Thank you. Thank you for having me. It's been awesome. Thank you. Bye. Bye. Bye Hope you enjoyed this episode. I'm Heather Monahan host of creating confidence a part of the YAP media network the number one Business and self-improvement podcast network. Okay, so I want to tell you a little bit about my show. We are all about elevating your confidence to its highest level ever
Starting point is 01:25:52 and taking your business right there with you. Don't believe me? I'm going to go ahead and share some of the reviews of the show so you can believe my listeners. I have been a long time fan of Heather's, no matter what phase of life I find myself in, Heather seems to always have the perfect gems of wisdom that not only inspire, but motivate me into action. Her experience and personality are unmatched and I love her go-getter attitude. This show has become a staple in my life. I recommend it to anyone looking to elevate their confidence and reach that next level.
Starting point is 01:26:22 Thank you! I recently got to hear Heather at a live podcast taping with her and Tracy Hayes, and I immediately subscribe to this podcast. It has not disappointed, and I cannot wait to listen to as many as I can, as quick as I can. Thank you, Heather, for helping us build confidence and bring so much value to the space. If you are looking to up your confidence level, click creating confidence now. This episode is brought to you by the YAP Media Podcast Network.
Starting point is 01:26:47 I'm Holla Taha, CEO of the award-winning digital media empire YAP Media, and host of YAP Young & Profiting Podcast, a number one entrepreneurship and self-improvement podcast where you can listen, learn, and profit. On Young & Profiting Podcast, I interview the brightest minds in the world, and I turn their wisdom into actionable advice that you can use in your daily life. Each week, we dive into a new topic like the art of side hustles, how to level up your influence and persuasion and goal setting. I interview A-list guests on Young & Profiting.
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