Habits and Hustle - Episode 274: The Alpha Attraction

Episode Date: September 8, 2023

What makes a man truly 'alpha' and why is this trait irresistibly attractive to women?  In this solo episode of the Habits and Hustle podcast, I chat about attraction and gender roles in relationships. I shed light on the allure of the alpha male persona but also the fundamental aspects of attraction that society often glosses over. What I discuss: 2:30 - Attraction and Gender Dynamics 5:00 - Expectations in Dating 8:33 - Gender Roles in Relationships Find more from Jen: Website: https://www.jennifercohen.com/ Instagram: @therealjencohen Books: https://www.jennifercohen.com/books Speaking: https://www.jennifercohen.com/speaking-engagements Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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I saw this video where this woman was saying that women need men that are better than them, who are smarter than them, more successful than them, fitter than them, more inspiring than them, more of everything. And the reason is because that's what we would naturally be attracted to. I gotta tell you something, I actually totally agree with her, 100%. Like I believe like a guy has to be alpha, double alpha or else I will eat him for breakfast

and that's just the way it's gonna be. And when I was watching this, I thought to myself, wow, this is probably one of the most controversial videos, or it probably would be a really controversial video because of the time we're living in. Wait, really? I think so. Because it kind of feels like it's like how people thought 50 years ago or 100 years ago. But I think that we're living in a time that we're unable to say what we say things that we don't actually really believe in our heads or that's actually really human nature. But the truth of the matter is, it's 100% true.

Like I do want a guy who is better than me, who is smarter, fitter, faster, stronger, taller, more inspiring, more successful, richer. I mean, all the things, right? Like, I don't wanna be the one that is superior because it's hard for me to like, be attracted to someone who I feel I'm more dominating in some way to them. Do you know what I mean? Yeah, I know, I totally get that.

I mean, especially I think like the stronger, I could never imagine being with a guy that's literally weaker than me. I can only bench press 75 pounds. Like if you can't do that, that's just craziness. Okay, I think the exercising aside, I think it's overall. And I think that if people say otherwise, they're like, they're lying to themselves.

It's bullshit. What girl wants to be with a guy who is... Who's weaker? Who's much crazier? Less successful, less inspiring, who is... All the things. Who is less fit? I mean, I don't know.

I think we are animals. And as animals, we are animalistic and have needs. And we are automatically drawn to like a stronger, like a woman is drawn to a stronger sex. It's just how it is. When I'm with a guy, or not now, I guess, but when I used to be, I got it. I'm the fact that you're dating.

Back in my dating life. No, I remember like, even now, what am I even talking about, like in real life now, even like I find like so many men aren't even men. It's like actually kind of like sad and pathetic. Like the pool of people that I see some of my friends having to deal with, I'm like, oh my God, that is so unattractive.

Like, they're like weak. I mean, it's just like they're weak and they're just like not manly. They don't take any initiative. They don't take any initiative. They don't take any control. Like, I guess I am like a more of an alpha girl, right? So especially if you're an alpha girl, you need a guy who's double alpha or at least alpha.

And so that's just, and even if you're not an alpha girl, even girls who are beta or Kappa or whatever you want to call it, Delta Gamma, Delta Gamma. I don't know any girl. I don't know any girl, any woman, any female who is attracted to someone who they can walk all over and who has no spine and all that. They may decide and choose to be with them because it's easier. Right, right. And it's the path of loose resistance

and they do it because they can. But don't lie to yourself or lie to me and say like you're hot for that person because there's no freaking way you are. Period. That's my opinion. Now you can tell me yours. Hahaha.

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and you will save 35% off site wide. Check it out. No, I mean, I think I agree for the most part. I obviously there's like new ones to every situation, but I just can never imagine. I think the only category in which I could see myself giving a little like leewayness would be in the sort of financial success category

just because I want to be a billionaire. Now, I cannot only dream of dating. Why? I can't. For example, so here, let me give you an example. It's always on like the outcome and not doing something that can make you that way by doing the work to get there. It's not all over time. I was talking to dating guys. No, you're saying I want to be X. Right. So I'm saying, but I'm saying. Realistic expectations.

Okay, but hold on, let me finish my sentence. You're not, that's absolutely not even the point. I want to understand. Okay, okay, fine. I'm saying, I'm saying, I would, I consider myself to someone who's aspiring for crazy aspirations when it comes to success financially and also in career, right? Now, if my guy that I'm dating doesn't want to be a billionaire, but they want to be a millionaire, for example, and they are moving towards that direction.

They're motivated, they're inspired, they're constantly working, they're an entrepreneur, they have that grit to them where they're successful, and they don't make me feel like I'm the wealthier one in the relationship, they still pay for things, they still support me, they still make me feel like the woman, then I'm okay with that. But I don't necessarily, do you know what I mean? 100% I agree that.

Like I think that's the only area where there's, but I just thought that there's new ones, I'm not disagreeing with you. I said I agree with everything you said, I just said that there's new ones, and I'm just adding to the layer. I actually agree with that. I think that'sing with you. I know, I agree with everything you said. I just said that there's new ones and I'm just adding to the layer. I actually agree with that. I think that's a great thing here.

I think that it's not about the money. It's more about like the urge, like smart or fit or. Yes, yes, stronger. You know, whatever it is, I just think that a lot of times and you are a successful woman and have a lot of those things going for you because you are fit and you are smart and you are successful. You know, the pools of men get smaller and smaller to pick from because there's a piece of it that's like a lot of guys are intimidated by that or the woman gives off too much alpha male energy, where

it's not even a turn on for the guy. So there's, okay, that component becomes very difficult. So what I really feel is that when a guy is all those things more than the girl, it quiets down that girl's alpha energy. 100 percent. That's what happens. The girl's alpha energy comes out more when she's around some a guy that doesn't have it and can't bring it. 100 percent.

But when she, right? So like, it brings out their mask. Right. So when I have a guy around me who's like way more masculine and super Like super alpha. I automatically just but not on purpose subconsciously I end up not cowering like Like like you do get like a little like a computer, you know, you do just but I feel more like I get like I feel more Feminine I feel more of a girl. I feel much more like a little girl

Yeah, and every girl wants much more like a little girl. And every girl wants to feel like a little girl. They don't want to feel like they're like taking over. And I guess the girls who do feel that way, well then all the power to you, you know, God bless you. But the majority of us, the majority of women who are just like doing well and strong and smart and fit and blah, blah, blah, we want the guy to be way better or we will eat you for breakfast and snack. So that's just how it works. But I really wish that guys understood that concept.

Like because I feel like if they did, they would understand that when they're presented with a woman who's maybe a little bit more masculine, if that guy were to just assert themselves more, that would allow the woman to be able to enter feminine anymore. And I think guys don't understand that dynamic as much. And so they immediately think, oh well, she's just a masculine, more intense female. And then they think to themselves, oh well, she's got this.

I guess I don't have to be, like I can just be a bit more beta. But I think if they understood that a lot of those really intense women who are power, you know, just powerhouses who are working, who are crushing it, they actually can be really feminine females within their relationship dynamics.

They just need to be given that shot and they need to be with someone who can present that more masculine kind of vibe. Right, but the guy has to have enough real inner confidence to even do that, to actually show that and be that as opposed to going in the opposite. Like listen, I'm not going to lie to you. There's a lot of women I meet who are like super

like have like have a who are successful who have like a really a really strong male energy and it is a turn off, right? But I'm saying for the majority for the most of us like people who are not like in the point one percentile of like super, like a super successful, crazy powerhouses. I'm saying, I'm saying the majority of people, majority of women who are, whoever, and on the scale of whatever, that what they are, what we need, we are looking for someone who is better than us. We need men who are better than us, like I said, smarter than us, better than us, We need men who are better than us. Like I said, smarter than us, fitter than us,

all of the urge of us, you know? And it's just what we naturally will gravitate to. And like, again, you can't fake that stuff. Either you have it or you don't, right? So this is not about like people like being, you know, kind of like pounding their chest and pretending. And so, ones who actually are those things.

Yeah. So, you know, that's really how I feel. It's interesting, you know, the joke about how women can ever decide where they want to eat. Yeah, that's me. Yeah, so what's so funny about that scenario is that I just think the joke could be non-existent if guys understood that sometimes we just don't want to have to decide things We're constantly faced with a ton of decisions and in some scenarios. I think like just handle it Just handle it like you know what I like we've been out to eat many times before you know what my vibe is just fucking

Picks and things I'll go. So that's a great point And that's what I guess that's really at the end of the day What I was even going to because I just want someone to like handle shit Yeah, if I'm handling all this shit all the time, I want someone else to be like, you know, I got this. I don't have to handle stuff. And trust me, that like changes the entire dynamic of the relationship. If I don't have to like take control, trust me, I don't want to take control.

Like, I'm taking control in enough areas of my life. I don't want to be taking control in every single area. And if someone can like alleviate some of that for me, oh my God, it is the biggest turn on in my, like for me. I love that show. Yeah, me too. So that's all. Let me know what you think, leave me a comment.

And for someone who thinks that I'm out of my mind crazy or whatever, let me know that too, because I like to hear from you and what you think. I hope you enjoyed this episode. I'm Heather Monahan, host of Creating Confidence, a part of the YAP Media Network, the number one business and self-improvement podcast network.

Okay, so I wanna tell you a little bit about my show. We are all about elevating your confidence to its highest level ever and taking your business right there with you. Don't believe me, I'm gonna go ahead and share some of the reviews of the show so you can believe my listeners. I have been a long longtime fan of Heather's,

no matter what phase of life I find myself in, Heather seems to always have the perfect gems of wisdom that not only inspire, but motivate me into action. Her experience and personality are unmatched and I love her go getter attitude. This show has become a staple in my life. I recommend it to anyone looking to elevate their confidence and reach that next level. Thank you!

I recently got to hear Heather at a live podcast taping with her and Tracy Hayes, and I immediately subscribe to this podcast. It has not disappointed, and I cannot wait to listen to as many as I can, as quick as I can. Thank you, Heather, for helping us build confidence and bring so much value to the space. If you are looking to up your confidence level, click creating confidence now. This episode is brought to you by the YAP Media Podcast Network.

I'm Holla Taha, CEO of the award-winning digital media empire YAP Media, and host of YAP Young & Profiting Podcast, a number one entrepreneurship and self-improvement podcast where you can listen, learn, and profit. On Young & Profiting Podcast, I interview the brightest minds in the world, and I turn their wisdom into actionable advice that you can use in your daily life. Each week, we dive into a new topic like the Art of Side Hustles, how to level up your

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